Through a glass, darkly
by ddraigcoch123
Summary: FemShep/Liara romance. Edgy, very dark themes, character/relationship focussed with plenty of sexystuff. Original characters. political intrigue. action. Shepard struggles with the pressure, her anxiety and fear; Liara struggles with the fallout from Shepard's death and return. Left of cannon, not always sticking to linear storyline. Includes storyline with Aria and time on Thessia
1. Chapter 1

A/N Edit: I am going to do a re-write of probably the first 7 chapters as soon as I get a bit of time. They need to be sharper and more in line with the writing later in the story - no plot lines will change, nothing will be added, this is all about the quality of the writing. I will let everyone know when I have completed it. Thanks

Currently a work in progress I will be hoping to upload at least 2 chapters a week. I have already written the end so at least I know where I am supposed to end up. I would really value any feedback you guys want to give.

We do take a little while to get going, which as the writer I know it's my responsibility to keep you engaged and you shouldn't have to do the work :) but stick with it we achieve lift of really quickly...

Bioware copyright for Mass Effect and core story... I take responsibility for the 'off' cannon story lines :)

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'Shit shit shit' her first thoughts followed by the kind of pain that snatches your breath away…. And it would have if she had any breath…

She tested breathing, she had to think about the mechanics of it, and as the fire like pain burned more intensely in her lungs she knew that every breath would be shallow and hard fought for.

Next was movement.

'No no no no, don't move stupid'

Did she say that out loud or just in her head, she couldn't hear, well that wasn't strictly true, there was noise, of sorts.

Like being underwater or in a decompressing suit with no comms chattering in her ear.

That thought brought back the edge of a memory but as fast as it moved into her mind it drifted away again.

Her attempted movement of an arm, though she couldn't remember now which one, had sent even higher waves of burning, searing, crushing pain to her brain. She was completely immobilised but right now she couldn't tell whether it was from the weight of whatever it was pressing on her or her own broken body.

And it was dark, was it impenetrable dark, the black of space, the dark of shut eyes, the black of being buried… she couldn't work out if her eyes were open or closed or if she could open them.

And she felt herself drifting, her brutal awareness of her physical situation beginning to fade, like she was falling up and away from it.

'No don't pass out, stay awake, focus, what just happened, where the fuck am I… shit Shepard stay with me'.

But the noise that escaped her lips was more of a low, growling moan, the sound of a trapped, dying, struggling animal holding fast to life through sheer will.

Was this it then, would her life flash through her mind, well if it was she was going to make damn sure she choose the highlights.

She reached out in her mind to the one part of it that wasn't screaming with fear and pain and confusion, the one part of her mind that felt like an anchor to existence, warm and safe. But something else was in that place, a demand, a drill sergeant of a voice that was shouting at her to get it together, she wasn't done yet, she had one thing left to do.. just one more thing to do then she could let go. And she wanted to let go, she was so tired, tired to her very soul.

Shepard was drifting up and away and she grabbed the most powerful memory she could to take with her, those blue eyes, the sound of her voice, the touch of her mind… Liara.

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Shepard looked up at the sky, it was really hot, and her armors micro climate was struggling to maintain comfortable levels because she had taken her helmet off. Given the choice she would rather have her head in the environment groundside, and her shields gave a decent level of protection.

It had been a hard fight to get this far. Not only meeting resistance from Geth snipers and troopers but also few heavies. They had had to leave the Mako further back as even Shepard's crazy driving couldn't get them around a huge rock fall.

'Not much further now Commander' Kaiden was checking the map on his OT 'Just the top of this drive, we should see the buildings soon'

'Skipper if you don't mind me saying, you really stink at driving the Mako, I don't think I caught so many bruises on a ride along since my troop transport took a wrong turn and we drove off a 50 foot cliff' Ashley was smiling and knew she was only repeating what was a commonly held opinion of their Commanders driving style.

'Well hell Ash I'm a space marine I don't do so well in two dimensions, but I haven't found a Mako or a crew that I could break so far, you gonna be the exception?'

'Hell no skip, just thinking we could take it in turns is all'

As they approached the final bend Shepard held up a fist as instinct told her they had company waiting for them.

Hard hats back on and weapons at the ready they moved forward from cover to cover and were rewarded with the getting the drop on a small group of Geth troopers and a couple of snipers. They agreed with hand signals how they would carve up the targets, repositioned themselves and on cue opened fire taking down all targets within 30 seconds.

Shepard began walking forward towards the mine entrance when she felt a rumbling that came up through her boots following a mili second later with the sound of a Geth drop ship.

'Find cover' she yelled over the noise and from behind a huge cargo bin she watched as a Colossus and two rocket troopers hit the ground and unfolded themselves less than 30 feet away. In her peripheral vision she also saw quick movement on the side of the building to the left and knew instantly they had been joined by at least one hopper.

'Fall back the trench', She knew they needed a minute to sort out a tactical response to the new threat and the trench they had used previously was another 50 feet back, 'Shield boost and run for it' She added.

Shepard was aware her team mates had begun the run to the trench as she began trotting backwards to both lay down covering fire and provide a focus of attention for their new threat and drawing it from Kaiden and Ash. Seconds later Kaiden called through the comms that they were in the trench and covering both with a biotic shield and covering fire, she turned and ran for it.

Once she hit the trench she gave out the commands she had already sorted in her mind.

'Ash, focus on taking down those Rocket troopers once that's done focus fire on that Colossus' she turned to face KaIden

'You use your biotics to catch that hopper and any friends he brought and take them out. Before we start I want us all to focus full AI jamming on that Colossus and keep re-jamming or use damping if they manage to override our tech. I'm going to move forward and make a run up the left through the cover there is to flank the big guy, I figure by the time I get there you will be ready to focus fire on it so I won't have my ass hanging out,' she finished with a grin.

Apart from getting hit by a hopper a couple of times and a rocket hitting the side of some cover she was using taking down her shield temporarily it went as planned. Though the final take down of the Colossus took the combined efforts of Kaidens biotics, Ash and Shepards tech work and a steady stream of accurate firepower.

The sound of their boots on the metal walkway, as quiet as they were, sounded like thunder in her ears. Dammit they needed the element of surprise if they met anything on the way down and they sounded like a herd of stampeding Krel'da. They probably weren't making that much noise but her nerves were on edge, it had been a hard fight to get this far, the heat inside the mine wasn't helping the fatigue that came with hours of constant fighting either. With her helmet off again her environmental controls were not coping with the heat and humidity.

They had taken out a couple of groups of Geth troopers on the way down but nothing bigger and as they exited the lift that had brought them down into the heart of the mine it seemed eerily quiet and still. A feeling added to by the shimmering blue tinted light coming from their left which Shepard decided needed investigation.

As she stood in front of the stasis field, as that is what it appeared to be, she lowered her weapon and couldn't help allowing a broad grin to form as the sight before her was not only amusing but entirely beautiful.

'Dr T'Soni I presume?' Shepard was sure the reference to an old Earth history story would be lost on all present, especially the Asari, but she noticed Ash smile out of the corner of her eye.

'Thank the Godess I did not think anyone would come looking for me, but you are human, I…, well anyway this thing I am in is a Prothean security device so I need you to get me out of it. Alright?'

'So how did you manage to get stuck in there?' Shepard asked not able to keep the smile out of her voice.

'I was exploring the ruins when the Geth showed up; can you believe that, Geth beyond the Veil? So I hid in here. I activated the towers defences I knew the barrier curtains would keep them out. But when I turned it on I must have hit something I was not supposed to. I was trapped in here. You must get me out. Please.'

'How long have you been in there?' Kaiden asked concern showing on his face

'Almost two Galactic Mean Time cycles and the barrier itself is also having an effect on me. I feel very weak and a little light headed'

'So that's about 36 Alliance standard hours' Ash chipped in

'Ok Dr T'Soni just stay calm a little longer we will get you out' Shepard nodded all trace of amusement now gone.

'There is a control in here that should de-activate the thing. You will have to find some way past the barrier curtain. That's the tricky part the barrier curtains can not be shut off from outside. I do not know how you will get in here. Be careful there is a Krogan with the Geth and they have been trying different way to get past the barrier.' Concern and fear clearly showing on the Asari's face.

'Well your lucky it was a team of Alliance Marines who came to your rescue Dr. we will get you out, just sit tight' Shepard gave the Asari what she hoped was more of a reassuring smile than an amused one.

After dealing with a couple of Geth Troopers that walked in on their recce of the area they used a mining laser to break under the space that the Dr. was trapped in rode the lift up a floor.

'How did you get in here, I did not think there was any way past the barrier' Dr T'Soni said trying to look over her shoulder to where Shepard and the others were now standing.

'We need to get you out of there and off this planet as quickly as we can Dr. before more Geth arrive'

'Yes your right I have seen enough of them to last a lifetime and I really do feel very tired. There is a control on the console behind you which should shut down the containment field'

'Hang on skipper her mother is working for Seren are we sure she can be trusted outside that field?' Ash spoke but Shepard could see the same concern on Kaiden's face, but before Shepard could answer Dr T'Soni spoke with a venom and hardness that hadn't been present in their previous exchanges.

'I am not my mother! I do not even.. I do not know why Benezia joined Saren. I do not want anything to do with that Turian bastard.'

'If she was with Seren the Geth wouldn't be trying to kill her or capture her and she wouldn't have trapped herself in that barrier. Kaiden use the console and get this barrier down.'

'Aye aye Commander'

As Kaiden moved towards the console Shepard moved close in behind the Dr. to catch her as the barrier came down. The instant the barrier disappeared Dr T'Soni fell but Shepard caught her and lowered her so that the Dr's feet were on the ground. Although able to stand she was very unstable on her feet and Shepard stayed close an acted as a support for her.

'So how do we get out from here' Kaiden asked

'I believe the platform in the centre of the tower is a lift that will take us up to the top level' Dr T'Soni said and as they walked to the platform and activated the lift she said

'I still can not believe this, why would the Geth come after me? Do you think Benezia is involved?'

'Saren is looking for something called the Conduit, a Prothean device, you're a Prothean expert so he probably thinks you can help him to find it' Kaiden replied

'The Conduit… I do not know…' but the Dr's comment was interrupted as the sound of cracking and falling rocks filled their ears and the platform shuddered.

'What the hell was that' Ash's voice was steady but she looked edgy

'These ruins are unstable I believe the mining laser may have triggered a seismic event' the Dr. replied

'Well we, I, do like blowing stuff up… though we usually like to be at a safe distance when we hear the bang' Shepard said smiling trying to relieve the obvious tension that was present in the lift

'That you do ma'am' Kaiden smiled at her.

'Joker! Get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal, at the double mister we are coming out hot'

'Aye aye Commander, secure and aweigh. ETA 8 minutes.' Joker's voice crackled over the comms.

'Prepare for a quick and dirty evac people' Shepard pulled her assault rifle to ready position, locked her helmet, and waited for the lift to complete its journey to the surface.

'Not much margin for error from the sounds of things' Kaiden voiced what they were all thinking

As the lift reached the final level they were confronted with the Krogan battlemaster that the Dr had warned them about who had a rocket trooper and a couple of ordinary troopers with him.

'Surrender or fight, choose fight I am looking forward to ripping you apart' the Krogan smiled showing his sharp teeth.

Like a well oiled machine the three marines instantly took positions and started to take down the Geth troopers then turning their combined firepower on the Krogan. Shepard placed herself in front of the Asari pushing her down behind the console in the centre of the lift. It was over in less than a minute. The combination of tech, biotics and firepower gave the marines the edge against higher troop strength and higher numbers. It was the combination that made the Alliance military a force to be reckoned with even if their overall numbers were not as high as other military forces.

Shepard turned to the Asari and helped her up and they moved forward from the lift onto the metal walkway, as they emerged and began to run for the exit huge chunks of rock began cascading from higher up and surrounding walls, some hitting the walkway sending shudders up through their boots. Shepard also noticed the Asari was having trouble keeping up in her weakened state.

'Come on Dr. let me help' Shepard turned to the Asari, lifted her easily and put her over her shoulders and began running for the exit carrying the Dr. with Kaiden and Ash in front. She could only vaguely hear, because of the noise from the rock falls and quakes, what sounded like apologetic protestations from the Dr. but Shepard also felt the Asari holding onto her.

They emerged from the mouth of this higher level of the mine followed by rushing air carrying dust and the sounds of the destruction they had left behind. The Normandy was waiting with storage bay ramp dropped and it was only when they were safely inside did Shepard put Dr T'Soni back on her feet.

'Straight to the med bay for you Dr T'Soni, let me escort you. Kaiden, Ash debriefing with the rest of the team in 30'

Shepard removed her helmet and looked for the first time properly into the eyes of the woman in front of her.

'I need to tell you how grateful I am Commander for saving me and trusting me, I…. I… am not used to… I have never met… oh Goddess I think I am just feeling overwhelmed by my experience. Please Commander call me Liara, if you feel that is appropriate of course' her hand went to her forehead and she looked somewhere above Shepards head.

'Yes we really didn't have time for proper introductions did we? Please call me Shepard, only my mother gets to call my by my first name which I hate,' she smiled at Liara and her smile was returned. Something happened in that moment, something between them connected, Shepard didn't quite know what it was… but it felt right… natural… like coming home…

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'Mgah' another breath… and the pain… and she was back here… in the dark, every pain receptor in her brain screaming and at the point of overload. But that was the problem where the fuck was she, what in the name of all things holy had put her here… she still couldn't think… just pain, fear, the next breath.

Saren, she had been chasing Saren… fought him on the Citidel… then Sovereign came crashing down on their heads… was that it… was that here?

'Feel into the pain, don't try to block it or avoid it, feel into it, concentrate on it and then you can take control, try it now Lidie'… that was her father's voice… she had fallen from the climbing wall in the ship's recreation bay. She'd banged herself hard when she hit the floor and was close to tears, but kept fighting them back; even at 7 she wanted to be tough.

'Dad… Mum… help me… shit things must be really bad if your crying for your mummy Shepard' the words spoken, or perhaps only thought, were said without sarcasm… the confusion, the pain, the fear, the certainty that she was dying were taking a toll.

She was drifting away again, up and away from her physical body, this time she didn't get the chance to grab for a memory… this time she would have no control over where her mind took her.


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard looked up into the face of her father, his green eyes a mirror of her own, and was reassured and comforted despite the piercing pain in her shoulder.

'That's it Liddie, feel into the pain and turn down the volume, like we practised… though you know the real trick is not to get hurt in the first place' he smiled at her and helped her up and continued 'I think that's probably enough for today your mother will have my guts if we're late to the mess deck for dinner'

Her father was a marine, a lieutenant commander, though he started off heading for an academic life as a history scholar. That's how she got one of her Christian names, Lydia, for some Greek or Minoan state which was the home of the double headed axe, Labrys…which is what he wanted to name her but her mother had put the brakes on it feeling that was a bit to much to lumber a child with.

It was from him she learned her love of history, books, reading and also of weapons. She was stripping down and putting back together rifles, pistol and shotguns by the time she was six. She would ask endless questions and sit in on training session about all things technical and combat related, even though she didn't always understand everything she tried hard to.

She would always get a blow by blow account of his missions, he didn't glorify it, told her the hard stuff as well as the exciting adrenaline rush stuff. He sometimes lost marines on missions and those were the times she saw how much responsibility came with command.

Her mother was a navy officer and from her she learned a love of ships and space itself. The dark art of mass effect fields, quantum mechanics, FTL drives, navigation… all things space vehicle related. One of her earliest memories was sitting on her mothers lap in the co-pilot seat of a frigate and having a front seat view of a mass relay jump.

From both of them she learned her iron sense of duty and honour, that you protect the weak, that to remain true to yourself and your moral compass was the only way to know right from wrong and the only way to make decisions when to do what was right would not be easy, that life was complicated and messy and the greatest gift the universe could give.

She wasn't unique in this 'educational' experience. It wasn't unusual for alliance 'spacer' kids to spend most of their time onboard ship with their parents, the alliance would ensure that parents were posted together and on larger ships that had facilities for babies and children. She did have to spend some time at alliance boarding schools when either she reached a critical point in her education or her parent's ship was assigned to a mission unsuited to having children on board. But for the most part she grew up on board her mothers ship's in the company of her father's marines and there was never any doubt what she would do when she was old enough.

The darkest day of her life came when she was 15 years old. The ship had answered the distress call from Mindoir and her father was leading one of the teams of marines fighting on the ground. He was killed in action and the effect on Shepard was brutal, she found it hard ever to say anything other than 'fucking Batarians' if they ever came up in conversation after that day. Later she would work with and be civil to Batarians when the situation required it or duty commanded it, but there was no love lost between Human and Batarian on the whole and she was fine with that state of affairs.

The memories flashing in and out of view were of her time growing up on board those beautiful ships with her brilliant, loving and honourable parents. Of shore leave and trips to ruins or development labs; playing arguing learning laughing.

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She could hear the music through the open windows; they still used a marching band, such an old, old tradition. But tradition was one of the things she really valued in the Alliance Navy, that feeling of history, continuity; it reinforced the feeling of being part of something much bigger than her.

Looking in the mirror she did a final check of her dress blues. Completing her preparations she put on her dress cap and pulled its black peak down over her eyebrows so she could only just see straight ahead. She looked into her face, into her eyes, her father's eyes and missed him deeply. He would have been so proud of her.

There had always been friendly rivalry between her parents about which arm of the service she would enter when she was 18, but in honesty no one had any doubt that she would join the marines. And here she was at her passing out parade; her mother, now the XO on the newest dreadnought the alliance had, sitting proudly in the stands waiting for her daughter to march past at the head of a troop of marines who were also moving from recruit to fully fledged member of the service.

It seemed to be over to soon, she wanted to relish the moment, to overlay it onto her father's recollection of his passing out parade. After the ceremony she was able to meet again some of her father's old squad and his commanding officer who had attended as a mark of the respect he had for her father. She walked much taller than her 5' 8" not only because of her own achievement but because she knew she was standing here thanks to both her parents and what they had given her; those character lessons that would steel her enough to face what was in her path and survive experiences that would have broken most people.

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'Well I may be on shore leave but it doesn't mean I have to do things I don't enjoy does it' she smiled at the young woman standing next to her 'I mean would it be so bad if we just took an hour or two to check out the weapons mods this market has to offer, I'll make it up to you later, promise' she reached out and pulled the woman close and kissed her gently but firmly.

'Aw Shep when you put it like that how can I refuse' Anna was a little shorter than Shepard and was a local Elysium girl with black hair and blue eyes and a truly devilish smile.

But before they got much further air raid sirens started to wail out and loud speakers that Shepard hadn't even noticed before began to repeat two messages:

'All civilians to fortified shelters immediately. All military personnel report to the garrison office at the main gate'

Shepard looked at Anna and could see the fear in her eyes, they had heard the news of mercenary and Batarian raids on human colonies but this was Earth's 'capital' in the Traverse and the population here had never contemplated any kind of attack.

'Hey it's ok, it may even just be a drill, but I need you to go to the shelter and stay there till I come find you, promise me?'

'Ok but I should go home and check to make sure the rest of the family is ok' Anna's response was exactly the reply Shepard didn't want to hear, if this was for real then wandering around looking for relatives was not the safe thing to do, and she cared for this woman.

'No Anna promise me you go straight to the shelter and wait for them, you could end up missing each other if you try to find them, and take this, just in case' Shepard handed Anna her hand cannon.

She pulled Anna to her and gave her a long kiss and a held her firmly in her arms.

'Now go and I'll see you on the other side' Shepard watched for a few moments as Anna hurried away in the direction of the nearest shelter. Shepard turned to head toward the garrison office calculating on the way how many troops were likely to be stationed here, how many may be on shore leave like herself and what kind of notice they had received about the incoming attack.

The news was bad. They had less than 30 minutes, the incoming force looked like it could be overwhelming given the size and number of ships entering orbit, the focus of the attack would be Elysium itself and from the signatures of the ships they were Batarian.

The 'garrison' was little more than local MP/Security levels and by far the largest number of troops where those who were on shore leave.

They had enough time to grab armor, thankfully there was enough to go around, and the armoury was well stocked. The ranking officer was a Captain but he had no combat experience and she was told to take command even though she was only a first lieutenant.

The settlement itself was fairly well fortified but there were to many entry points to be able to defend it completely. She asked that a message be sent to all the shelters that doors were locked on her command, she would leave it as long as possible but they had no way of protecting all the safety shelters with troops they just had to hold the settlement till reinforcements came and stop the Batarians getting heavy weapons or vehicles into the settlement and the only way to do that was to hold the main gate with the only road access. The rest of the settlement would have to be on lock down. And once the attackers got through the 'holes' in the settlement defences by foot the defenders at the gates would be surrounded.

They were receiving telemetry from satellites which the Batarians hadn't bothered taking down, a tactical mistake that may have stemmed from their arrogance. They had to think they could walk in with the numbers they had against a lightly defended civilian settlement. With that information available and their own local beacons which would start tracking the activity once the Batarians hit the ground they had a pretty good idea to within minutes of when they would be hit.

She stationed two small teams to man the two turrets on the walls either side of the gate with orders to spike the guns if they were in any danger of being taken by the enemy; and positioned both the grenade and rocket launchers with fire support on the walls as well. She deployed the only other heavy turrets on top of two cargo containers they had hauled in and dumped for cover in the area behind the main gates. They would be more exposed up there but would have a devastating effect and provide a killing zone both to the front and rear of their position. That is until the ammo ran out.

The rest of the troops dug in and found cover as best they could back to back ready for the attack from inside the settlement when the Batarians broke through and the main attacked headed at the gates. Ammo, including grenades, were distributed evenly and by the time they had finished their preparations the intel officer warned troops would be at the gate in under five minutes. She gave the order to lock the shelters. They had had slightly more time than first estimated, it had been forty one minutes since she kissed Anna goodbye. Shortly after that thought all hell broke lose.

Shepard tried to be everywhere supporting all the ground positions as they came under increased fire or attack. They had some luck early on, the Batarians decided to lead with their heavy weapons and carefully placed rockets and turret fire took out the two lead vehicles in the first exchange of fire. The mistake the enemy made then was for the next couple of vehicles to just go around the two that were disabled and they to were taken out thus blocking any further access to vehicles until the first line was clear. But that would be difficult and the vehicles were on fire and exploding, their magazines full of unused ordinance.

There was nothing more luck could do for them. They were completely outnumbered. Only the preparations they had made, their Alliance training and discipline and Shepards active and ongoing leadership and tactical adjustments kept their heads above water. But they steadily lost troops, one after another, sometime two or three at a time, men and women were killed or severely wounded.

Time had no meaning, Shepard had no idea how long they had been fighting. The Batarians had taken three or four breaks to try to regroup. Shepard used that time to move ammo around reposition remaining troops to fill gaps and rally confidence. She told them there would be no surrender, she told them they were all that stood between these Batarian slavers and what they would do to the innocent men women and children they were protecting. She told them there was no choice; they held on till help came, they were the last and only line of defence.

She could feel the blood from a head wound sustained in hand to hand combat when a wave of Batarians had overwhelmed their left flank and she and a couple of others had gone to reinforce and repel the attackers. Her left arm hung useless at her side a bullet wound in her shoulder. And a slice of shrapnel from a grenade blast had lodged itself in her side. But anger, adrenaline, force of will kept her rallying her troops and killing the wave after wave of the enemy that seemed to be neverending.

And then it stopped. All the noise of gunfire and shouting and screaming and explosions, just stopped. The silence was almost painful on her ears. She sank to her knees.

'Sit rep, sound out, status and ammo' she shouted but very few shouts came back. They had lost the turrets and troops on the wall…. when… a long time ago, she thought.

'Intel do you have Alliance contact yet' they had sent out all the distress calls required and for as long as they were able to transmit they sent out situation updates including Batarian troop numbers and their losses.

'Lieutenant we have Alliance ships in fleet numbers in orbit' a very weak and faint voice came to her from what was left of their comms station further along the cargo container they were using for cover.

'Ok, stay sharp people, not safe till… reinforcements… need to just keep…' Shepard was losing the fight to stay conscious, but only finally let go when she heard and then saw alliance gun ships overhead and she knew they would put boots on the ground in seconds.

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'Medic…over here' why hadn't they got to her yet, they were here reinforcements, they… no…not Elysium.. this is not Elysium she thought.

'Dammit Anna why didn't you go to the shelter like I told you' the image of Anna's body, shot through the chest and the head crashed into her mind. She had been one of the few, significant few, who had not made it to the shelter before they were locked down. The brass had said if that order hadn't been given the Batarians would have overrun the shelters and the civilian casualties would have been horrendous. But she still had to live with the knowledge she locked out people from a place of safety because she couldn't find a way to protect them. She didn't protect Anna, did she protect Liara…

'You have to get it together Shepard where the fuck are you' but the pain in her body and in her head crowded out her attempts at focussed thought.

She had started thinking about her father who was dead and then thoughts of her mother, both of whom she called on for help.

'So do you want dad to help you into whatever passes for the afterlife or do you want mum to miraculously come find you the way she always could when you needed her before you got to big accept help even when it was offered…huh… which one Shepard…' and there it was again the almost overwhelming need to let go, to stop fighting, to be done. She had done enough; seen enough, been through enough…she wanted to rest… she wanted it to stop.

'One last thing, just one last thing to do… if only I could remember what it is…' her head hurt, everything hurt and she was getting pretty fucking fed up of it and not knowing where she was and now she was wondering why nobody had come looking for her. And this fucking itch that she couldn't reach to scratch… what the hell was it she still had to do… for fucks sake give me peace… let me find peace…

'Find peace in the arms of the Goddess' she whispered and then with a jolt she heard Liara whisper 'Embrace eternity'… but she was alone so that had to be in her head.

Here it comes again she thought, that drifting away from the next breath, falling up away from the pain… take me with you Liara, come and find me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

'Not gonna happen soldier' Shepard growled. Shepard, Kaiden, Ash, Liara and Garrus had weapons drawn and were facing down a squad of eight private security troopers who had met them as they disembarked the Normandy dockside.

'For one,' Shepard said her voice dangerously calm and quiet

'I am a Council Spectre and I will enter this port and question who I damn well please' and as she spoke again she leaned forward a little and pointed her Pinnacle pistol directly between the eyes of the Captain of the guard saying,

'And second, you will not take our weapons and I can guarantee you that I will drop your entire squad before you finish giving them the order to try, you I will leave for last so that you know I am a woman of my word'.

Silence… Shepard's team rock steady and all taking a bead on their chosen targets… Shepard saw in the eyes of the guards that they were not getting paid enough to die… Shepard was not bluffing and everyone on that dock knew it.

'Yeah well…. Spectre, that's different… you… you need to see they suits in the office… this is above my pay grade…' The Captain didn't exactly stammer but all her bluff and bravado was gone as she holstered her pistol and indicated her team do the same.

All the corporate garbage and double talk and… well… just crap, she had to work through to get the information about Benezia and Saren and to get them access to a vehicle to take them to Peak 15 had left her feeling murderous.

Peak 15… it sounded like a really difficult climb she had thought to herself, remembering her intensive climbing phase.

It was after her father died and she felt close to him when she was climbing, it was something he had taught her and that they had done together. She did the usual Earth high peaks and although challenging, with her now very enhanced physique and musculature due to her genetic enhancements and synthetic implants (preparation for her career in the military), they didn't offer the same dangers or achievement as they did when her ancestors had started to climb them centuries earlier. She found climbs on new world and moons. She visited recommended mountain ranges so most had been climbed as they were 'on the climbing circuit'. But others she had conquered for the first time. She got to name them, well number, there were too many open to humanity now to name every mountain and ridge they wanted to scale. She sometimes wondered what it must have been like to only have Earth before her ancestors took to the stars. She wondered if she would have felt claustrophobic.

Shepard had given the driving honours to Garrus, much to everyone's relief, as the mountain road was treacherous with the snow, ice and a blizzard with occasional bouts of deadly Geth heavies and rocket troopers in the way. Given the choice between driving and shooting at things she would always choose to 'blow shit up'.

But she was apprehensive, not of the fight, but that they were fighting their way to confront Liara's mother. They had spent quite a few late nights in the mess talking about everything and nothing and Shepard felt they were getting close. But she had no idea what would happen, how Liara would feel confronted with her mother who would end up in a fire fight with Shepard… the outcome would be inevitable… Benezia was going to die, and Liara would be there to see it.

She had almost ordered the Asari to return to the Normandy when they found out Benezia was still on Noveria and within reach. But Liara needed to be there and knew how the confrontation would play out. Shepard wished she could shield Liara from all of it… but what was coming would come… it would happen if Liara was in attendance or not.

'You have got to be kidding me' Ash's voice at a yell over the gunfire as they were attacked by what looked like Rachni. Shepard could sympathise with Ash, this was… unexpected and didn't bode well for the rest of their journey through the facility.

It was hard and messy and at times tedious. Particularly when they were killing the Rachni who appeared not even to have 'the sense they were born with!' It was an old Earth saying that she remembered from somewhere, but it seemed to describe the Rachni behaviour perfectly. They just kept coming at them almost in a straight line, the only tactic they had was numbers, if they had worked together more they would have caused many more problems for Shepard's team, but it wasn't without its danger and lack of concentration at any point would have left anyone of them vulnerable and the Rachni were 'poisonous little bastards' as Garrus put it more than once.

At one point she was really annoyed at herself for leaving Wrex on the Normandy, he would have loved this… the old enemy.

They got to the AI core and had to do some fancy re-booting and while Ash and Kaiden worked on it Shepard and Garrus kept watch shooting the odd Rachni that wandered in through a side corridor and chatted in their usual easy bantering way. Shepard was aware of Liara trying to look interested and involved with what Ash and Kaiden were working on, but Shepard knew her well enough already to notice the signs of distraction and worry. The tilt of her head the way she touched her forehead or her throat. But there was nothing to be done, not yet, not until… after. Shepard was pulled back from her train of thought by the question Garrus was asking.

'So with all your fancy upgrades and tech why do you still have those scars on your face Shepard, you know you need all the help you can get with women given you don't have such a sunny disposition,' he smiled at her waiting for her to rise to the bait.

'Hell Garrus some women find battle scars… hum what's the word… exciting… and my disposition is just fine thank you very much. You trying to pump me for tips coz I'd be happy to give you some, noticed your not getting so many calls from that nice Doctor Michel as you used to.' She finished and flashed him a big grin. Garrus was a little touchy on the subject of Dr Michel who seemed to have pursued him quite persistently after he had saved her from a gang of thugs in her clinic. Shepard had helped a little but she was happy for Garrus to take all the glory in the good Doctors eyes.

'Did you ever get around to…?' Garrus cut off her question with a forced clearing of his throat and a question to Kaiden along the lines of 'would it be much longer'.

With key systems now back online they were able to travel to the labs and when they made their way up in the elevator they were confronted with a security team who asked for help to purge the breeding labs which was where all the Rachni were escaping from; although they got zero 'help' from the security team.

Shepard and her team headed down and had to fight their way through high numbers of the hairy poisonous beasts and she was glad to have Kaiden and Liara's biotics to help with the sheer numbers. The made it to the control station and found the console they needed. They set the plasma pulse that would purge the main breeding lab and the rearing areas which were on the same floor. The console was damaged which meant they couldn't adjust the delay to the pulse and it was going to be pretty tight to get out of its way as it would kill any organic it hit. They had to double time back to the elevator carving a path once again through the Rachni that seeping out of the breeding and rearing rooms. They were only two floors up when they heard the pulse explode, but it was far enough to keep them out of danger.

The lift door opened and immediately Shepard sensed trouble, 'Break and cover' she shouted and dragged Liara, who had proven handy in a fight but was no soldier, sideways to cover on the left.

Ash and Kaiden took up positions left and right of the elevator entrance and Garrus moved forward and took cover behind some benches.

'Do we have a problem Captain' Shepard shouted at the security guards leader 'seems you were planning on giving us a hot welcome this time'

She could see now why her instinct had cut in, as where before there had been a clear area in front of the lift it now held a set of barriers forming a defensive position in an arc around fifteen feet away. She could see some of the guards nervously aiming weapons, but they had left it too late, they should have fired as soon as the lift door opened. Inexperience and nerves she thought.

'I don't suppose there's any chance you would just leave and go back to the main facility is there, I would rather not fight you Commander,' came the reply from behind the barrier, 'I'm sorry but we received orders from Benezia to kill you all… and… well… she's the boss' he finished.

'Why does everyone want to point guns at me today' Shepard asked to no one in particular

'Must be your sunny disposition' Garrus answered with a smile

Shepard whispered into her comms so that only her team could hear and they agreed a fight plan. This would involve the two biotics, simultaneously, throwing a huge biotic hit at the barrier followed by some lifts. Ash, Garrus and Shepard would kill anything they could see, carving the defence line in front of them into three zones. If necessary the biotics would provide defensive shields against grenades or heavier weapons.

Shepard counted them in and didn't even bother replying to the question the guards captain had asked; this would be her reply, this was almost always her reply to people threatening her or her team or her crew. As usual when the fighting started she dropped into that zone that was almost automatic but at the same time hyper aware of everything that was going on. It was over in less than two minutes.

'That's the lab door at the end of this corridor Commander' Kaiden said after checking the internal schematics of the complex on his OT.

'Ok final check everyone,' Shepard said and pulled Liara gently aside so they were standing a little away from the group. Shepard looked down into the Asari's blue eyes and began to feel herself sink into them and shook off the feeling remembering where they were and what was about to happen.

'Liara are you absolutely sure you want to come in with us?' Shepard asked gently 'I will do everything I can to take your mother alive but you know if I have to kill her I will'

'Thank you Shepard I know you are trying to protect me, but I must be there to confront her, to see for myself what has happened to her…. I can not believe she would be doing this unless… if there is a way we can help her I know you will try' Liara was returning Shepards gaze and a small sad smile flickered across her lips as she said 'you can not always protect people from the things that will hurt them Shepard no matter how hard you try, I must do this'

Shepard gave a small nod and said 'Ok then, be careful in there'. Shepard walked back to the team and they moved towards the door and whatever fate lay behind it both for Liara and Shepard.

They entered the room which was dimly lit, it had at its centre a huge tank containing a creature that looked similar in some ways to the Rachni they had seen but was clearly not the same. They saw Benezia almost immediately. She was standing on a platform and looked foreboding, forbidding would have put fear in the hearts of less seasoned soldiers.

Instinctively, smoothly, almost imperceptibly Ash, Kaiden and Garrus moved away from the door into better combat positions while Shepard and Liara moved forward and stopped at the bottom of the steps that lead to Benezia's platform.

'You do not know the privilege of being a mother, there is power in creation' Benzia spoke in a matter of fact tone and turned away from Shepard and Liara and looking into the tank containing the creature continued 'to shape a life, turn it towards happiness or despair. Her children were to be ours raised to hunt and slay Seren's enemies.' Benezia walked back towards the top of the steps.

'So that's the Rachni queen' Kaiden said quietly from where he was standing a little off to the right

'I would have thought a good mother would always try to point their children towards happiness, let them make their own path and be proud of who they became?' Shepard asked wondering how much the 'real' Benezia was actually speaking.

'I will not be swayed by sentiment no matter who you bring into this confrontation' Benezia stared straight at Shepard as she spoke and her tone had a harsher edge and just for a moment Shepard thought she saw something behind Benezia's eyes.

'Liara is here because she wants to be not because I asked her, but she is also a member of my team and my crew in her own right and not just because she is your daughter' Shepard jabbed a finger in Benezia's direction to emphasise the point

'Indeed, what have you told her about me Liara' Benezia was now staring at her daughter.

'What could I say mother that you have gone mad, that I don't understand who you have become… how to kill you… what could I say' Liara's voice was steady but Shepard could hear the emotion.

'Have you ever faced an Asari commando unit, few humans have' Benezia said speaking to Shepard again in the mechanical voice her eyes 'hard' once more.

'I can't believe you would try to kill your own daughter' Shepard could see they were going to have to fight; they were not making any kind of connection with Benezia.

'I now realise I should have been stricter' Benezia said as she also moved to through a biotic pulse at Shepard which hit her and caught her in a stasis field.

Liara put a protective barrier around Shepard until the field had faded and on release Shepard and Liara moved out of Benezia's eye line and ran to the other end of the room where Ash, Kaiden and Garrus had already created a defensive position on the platform at the other end of the room. They were protected on that platform from Benezia by the tank containing the Rachni queen.

With Liara and Garrus at one end of the platform, Ash and Kaiden at the other Shepard supported whichever side was dealing with the most incoming at any time they fought off and killed the four Asari commandos and three waves of geth troopers.

Ash was wounded in her side, Garrus had been taken hits to his leg as a geth trooper got in to close and Shepard had be banged pretty hard into the wall, a biotic smash from one of the Asari commandos, and was bleeding from the side of her head.

Seamlessly with hand gestures Shepard split the team and moved down the aisles to confront Benezia. She sent Kaiden and Garrus down the left side while Ash and Liara joined her moving down the right aisle. Liara was to provide protective barriers and not take any part in actually attacking her mother herself.

Benezia was a powerful and skilled biotic but they had the force and the tactics and she seemed to have been already weakened by the fighting that had already taken place. After five minutes of an intensive fire and biotic fight Benezia slumped to the ground obviously hurt badly. Shepard ordered a halt to the attack and Liara rushed forward to kneel by her mother, Shepard joined her.

'This is not over Saren is unstoppable, my mind is full of his light' Benezia got to her feet and Shepard watched her warily but she moved towards a console and appeared to be retrieving a data on an OSD.

'Mother what happened?' Liara asked sounding as if she would break into tears at any moment.

'I thought I could fight it LIara, I thought if I could work with Saren I could temper his plans… but… you must listen Saren still whispers in my ear, I cannot fight him for long'

'Why are you able to fight him now' Shepard asked, Liara had moved next to her mother but Shepard kept a little distance away.

'I kept a small part of my mind locked away from him so that I could use it when the chance to finish him off came… the indoctrination is strong… it is his ship Sovereign, it is not like other ships that I have ever seen it is more advanced than anything in the galaxy and the geth did not build it' Benezia said looking at her daughter but speaking to Shepard

'Goddess where did come from mother'

'I don't know and there is little time, I will not be able to fight him for long, listen Shepard I was sent here to get the information about the Mu relay from the Rachni queen, I was not gentle with her. Here I made a copy of the information take it' she handed it to Liara and continued 'you must move away now Liara I am losing control, you have to stop me, I can feel Saren teeth at my ears' Benezia turned around to face the console. 'You must find him and destroy him Shepard he did not give me access to his plans or where he is going but he believes the Mu relay will help him find the Conduit'

Shepard moved forward quickly and pulled Liara back and behind her and gestured for Garrus and Ash to move next to her weapons drawn.

'Let us help you Benezia' Shepard said but knowing there was really little they could do.

'Mother… don't leave… fight it… please' Liara's pleading voice came from behind her .

'You always made me proud Liara, I am sorry' Benezia said, and then turned around her biotics sparking up as a blue haze around her body 'you must die' she said in the same mechanical voice she had used during the fighting.

They opened fire and Benezia slumped to the floor this time fading fast, Liara rushed forward and knelt by her dying mother.

'Please do not leave me mother' Liara pleaded with her.

'It is too late, my mind is gone, you have to let me go… goodnight little wing I will see you in the dawn…' Benezia's eyes closed and she murmured 'where is the light, there should be…'

Liara fell onto her mothers shoulders and began sobbing quietly. Shepard indicated to Ash to sit with her while she left the platform to talk to Garrus and Kaidan.

'Kaiden get comms up with the Normandy, and get them to pick us up from here, and tell them we need to transport a body to Thessia' Shepard then moved a little further away to talk to Garrus when one of the 'dead' Asari commandos stood up, walked over to the side of the Rachni queens tank and started talking for the queen.

At the end of their conversation Shepard let the Rachni queen go knowing she was taking a huge risk, but she wouldn't be responsible for the extinction of an entire species especially if they had been under the same kind of influence that Benezia was talking about.

'Can I sell tickets for when you tell Wrex you just let a fertile Rachni queen lose' Garrus almost chuckled.

'Hell Garrus I'll just convince him he should have a chance to fight them just like his ancestors did, if it all goes south that is' she smiled but knew it would be an interesting conversation with Wrex.

The Normandy was heading for Thessia with Benzia's body in the storage hold. Shepard didn't know what to say or do and wondered whether Liara would hate her so much for killing her mother that she wouldn't even want her anywhere near.

Liara was standing next to the container bearing her mothers body with one hand on it and staring into space, unfocussed, tears running slowly down her face. As Shepard approached her she couldn't help thinking how beautiful Liara looked and even as the thought entered her head, she pushed it away and braced herself for the young Asari's reaction which she fully expected to be negative in the extreme.

'Liara' Shepard said softly when she had stopped next to her 'I think you should come and rest, I want you to use my cabin. I… understand if you don't want to see me or speak to me right now (or ever she thought to herself) but I am here for you and if you need anything I will make sure you get it' Shepard stopped talking and for a moment wondered if Liara had heard her.

In one movement Liara turned and leaned into Shepard holding on to her and sobbing quietly 'Shepard… please… I do not blame you… I need… would you stay with me… until…' Liara broke off unable to continue as her body shuddered with her silent sobs.

'Shssss Liara, its ok, everything will be ok. I'm here, come on lets get you somewhere more comfortable' and Shepard drew Liara next to her and with her arm around her shoulders led her to the elevator and on to her cabin.

Shepard stayed with Liara all through that first terrible night, holding her as they both lay on the bed, rocking her gently at times. At one point Liara drifted into a fitful sleep but then woke up with a start clinging even more firmly to Shepard as if she was the only thing keeping her afloat in a terrible storm.

'There there…. Its all going to be ok… you'll see… your strong Liara and you have all of us on the Normandy… and you have me… we'll get you through this…' Shepard was stroking the Asari's face as she spoke and holding her close.

Shepard could feel the warmth of LIara's body next to her, could smell the scent from her neck she could almost feel Liara's breath on her neck… and as she began to move her head to look down at her love the pain came crashing into her consciousness and she dropped back into that black, crushing, pain ridden place of fear which demanded she fight for every breath.

And here it comes… taking the next breath…

'Fuck no don't… not cough… no..' but she had to, it was a reflex that once it started it was as painful hovering on the edge as it was to let it happen.

It was a shallow cough, barely moving her chest but the pain was unendurable…yet she endured it…then she tasted blood in her mouth and felt it trickle out of the side of her lips.

Perhaps that was it…she passed out…or did that drifting away thing in between every breath…so she may not have been here all that long… or she could have been there an eternity…she couldn't tell and she didn't care.

It was so hard here, she tried to focus, to focus on Liara, on the pain, on how she got here…but it was impossible to hold a thought let alone strong them together into 'thinking'…she was just existing…her only relief when she passed out.

'Shit…what the fuck was that' she seemed to feel movement, a shudder perhaps, or a vibration of some sort passing through whatever was encasing her.

She tried to concentrate forming words and saying them out loud… she wasn't sure if she managed it or how loud it was… or even if anyone was there making the vibrations she could feel… maybe whatever it was she was lying on was about to collapse completely…


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Currently a work in progress I will be hoping to upload at least 2 chapters a week. I have already written the end so at least I know where I am supposed to end up. I would really value any feedback you guys want to give.

Edit: I am putting back in 'scene' breaks as I seem to have failed twice using 'dashes'

Chapter 4

The ground shook under her feet and she felt the shockwave pulse through her body. They had just blow out the front doors of the Cerberus facility and at the same time blown access through the rear wall.

Shepard had answered a request from Admiral Hackett and a call from her mother to try to find Admiral Kahoku who had fallen off the radar after getting information from the Shadow Broker as to the whereabouts of the Cerberus team that had lured his marines to their death in an ambush with a Thresher Maw.

She had found Admiral Kahoku's tortured body at a science facility which they then destroyed but not before Shepard had 'extracted' the whereabouts of the main Cerberus headquarters responsible for both the marine's deaths and the torture and death of someone who she had always called uncle. That was ten hours ago and Shepard's rage had only intensified on the journey here. Her team and her crew had left her to her thoughts as she stood white knuckled and stony faced in the CIC.

Uncle Udale and his wife were very old friends of Shepard's parents and his three children were like cousins to her. Shepard was not looking forward to breaking the news to her mother but she would at least be able to tell her that everyone that had anything to do with his death have been killed or captured and all the Cerberus facilities that they could find had been destroyed.

'Access acquired' shouted Kaidan over the comms, he was leading the second team into the rear of the building. Shepard had split her team and her marine squad in two putting Kaidan in command of one with Garrus, Tali and Wrex while she led the other in the front door with Ash, Liara and her marines.

Cerberus was ready and waiting as the strike team had already taken out heavy guns and troops protecting the building itself. But the double entry had caused a lot of confusion and Cerberus had set up their defences for a direct assault through the front doors. Caught in the crossfire the defenders were soon so reduced in numbers that the remaining ten or so made a break for it and headed for the elevator to the lower level. Shepard's team set after them but took the stairs. Kaidan's team took a second elevator down with the exception of two of the marines, Garrus and Tali whose job it was to get into the information systems and pull out all the intel they could find. They would move down through the building at a slower pace than the fire team and search all available data sources as they went.

In the end there were three underground levels and they killed the remaining troops from the first Cerberus platoon shortly after they exited the elevator and a further platoon strength of troops who were trying to defend the lower floors. When Shepard was finally at the heart of the facility in its main command centre they had managed to take what looked like a high ranking officer, and probably the commanding officer, and a handful of Cerberus scientist's alive.

'Tali what is the status of intel gathering?' she asked as Tali and Garrus joined them in the command area.

'We did well Commander, they had tried to wipe their hard drives but don't appear to have used the proper protocols and I was able to recover most of the data including the locations of two other Cerberus facilities in this system' Tali replied checking her OT as she answered Shepard.

'Good' Shepard answered but she never took her eyes of the Cerberus officer who despite the situation and the wound to his arm had a sneer on his face. Shepard was leaning against the edge of a desk and was tossing her pistol the short distance between her left and right hands; it was almost hypnotic; her eyes were cold as steel.

'Kaidan would you take the… scientists' she spat out the word conveying as much contempt for them as possible. The disgusting and terrible experimentation that they had seen when fighting through the science facility, where they found the Admiral, had appalled the whole team, 'up top to await the shuttle… take the marine squad with you, and Kaidan' she paused

'Yes commander'

'If they attempt to escape or cause you any kind of trouble at all I want you to use lethal force' Shepard flicked her eyes over the prisoners and then to Kaidan who gave a short nod.

'If you think I will tell you anything you can forget it' the Cerberus officer snarled 'and I know the Alliance wouldn't use anything so… unsavoury as torture' he gave a greasy smirk 'so why don't you just take me upstairs so that I can be taken to a nice comfortable Alliance prison. Where I won't stay for long… Cerberus takes care of its own and will have me out before you finish your current mission' again the greasy smile.

Shepard heard Wrex give what was best described as a low growl, Garrus and the rest of the team stiffened and the tension in the room went through the ceiling.

'Yes I think that's a pretty good and accurate description of what would happen if I put you on a shuttle back to the Alliance' Shepard spoke in a calm, emotionless tone but at the same time the menace in her voice was apparent to those in the room who knew her. 'Tell me' she continued 'Why torture him?' she asked almost matter of factly.

'Why not' he gave a shrug of his shoulders as he answered and then continued 'now can we get a move on this wound is uncomfortable and I require treatment' he stood up as if to move things along.

'You were correct when you said that the Alliance does not condone torture, neither do I, but I am also a Council Spectre' Shepard said, 'everyone up top and ready for shuttle evac' still not taking her eyes from the Cerberus officer but now the pistol was firmly in her right hand.

They all looked first at Shepard and then at her prisoner, Wrex smiled and began leaving the room, the others followed him, only Garrus hung back for a moment and looked at Shepard.

'Are you sure about this' he asked quietly.

'You heard him Garrus, this piece of shit didn't even have the decency to die with his men, and he gets to live when a decent man and a fine soldier is tortured to death on his orders' she looked at Garrus and he saw the pain as well as the rage in her eyes.

Garrus put a hand on her shoulder for a moment and said 'I'll be waiting for you by the elevator' then he walked out of the room.

'You don't scare me, Alliance; with this little charade' the Cerberus officer sneered 'I have no intention of answering your questions' he finished.

'I know you don't' she said as she raised the pistol and fired. The shot hit him in the centre of his forehead and he fell to the floor as if he had been a puppet and someone had cut his strings. 'And that is exactly what I will do to your boss when I hunt him down' she said as she left the room.

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Once back on the Normandy she went straight to the comms room and made her call to Admiral Hackett updating him on the situation, letting him know that she had destroyed the command centre setting explosives within the facility and striking it from the Normandy. She also asked if he wanted her to take out the other Cerberus facilities they had found out about, but the Admiral said he would send teams to take care of them as she had a new priority mission to go and help a Salarian reconnaissance team on Virmire who had a strong lead on Saren. Although the Council had little other information as communication with the team had stopped it sounded as if they were in trouble.

With arrangements made to rendezvous with an Alliance vessel to transfer her prisoners the only thing that remained was for her to tell him that she had executed the Cerberus officer responsible for Admiral Kahoku's death. If Hackett was surprised he didn't show it.

'You are in a slightly different position Commander being both an Alliance officer and a Council Spectre and we understand that you may need to do things a little differently. Shall we agree that he died under interrogation?'

'I know what I did Admiral' Shepard replied standing to attention the whole time she gave her report.

'I know you do Commander and that is why I trust your judgement and your actions'.

She saluted and receive one in return which marked the end of the connection.

'Joker set a course for Virmire' she said over the internal comm to her pilot.

'Aye aye Commander', Joker replied and continued after a few moments 'ETA twenty hours'.

She put in a call for her team to join her in the comm room immediately and while she was waiting booked a personal call to the SSV Kilimanjaro which she scheduled for one hours' time. She would take it in her cabin.

When the team assembled she updated them on their new mission to Virmire, with little information to go on she advised them they needed to be ready for anything. Her orders were food, sleep and weapons prep. Everyone was quiet not least because they had spent the last thirty six hours fighting two Cerberus bases to a standstill but they also didn't quite know whether they should say anything about what had happened at the end of the mission. Shepard dismissed the briefing and left the room straight away to allow her team to have time to talk amongst themselves.

She went to the CIC briefed Pressley on the new mission and asked that he brief the crew. Then she went to her cabin. She had enough time to have a shower and change into her sweats before the call came in.

'It's ok Lydia I have already spoken to Admiral Hackett' her mother said when the connection was made. Hannah Shepard looked upset and saddened but there was also concern for her daughter, she continued 'he also told me that you…. killed the Cerberus officer responsible for Udale's death. I need you to know that your father would have done the same thing. I also know you, and this will play on your thoughts but you have to move on from it.'

'Did Admiral Hackett tell you what they did to him?' Shepard asked her mother.

'Yes he did, we won't be telling Effie it will be enough that she has lost her husband' Hannah Shepard replied and continued 'you look tired you need to get some rest'.

They chatted for a short while longer and then finished the call with a promise to meet up as soon as Shepard's mission was over and her mother could get leave from her duties. She thought about how tough and strong her mother was, a real Alliance officer to the core, she thought about how her father had named her Lydia to honour the past and her mother had given her middle name of Vega to point her towards the stars and the future. Personally Shepard wasn't keen on either of her first names and had trained family, with the exception of her mother, and friends alike to call her LV.

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She sat on the edge of the bed only now feeling the events of the past thirty six hours, accentuated by the adrenaline that was still coursing through her system. Uncle Udale had been part of the same mission that her father had been on when he was killed and somehow all that had happened to her Uncle had brought up the memories of losing her father and her emotions felt like they were in FTL drive.

She heard a soft knock on her cabin door and although feeling like she would rather not see anyone she called out for whoever it was to come in.

'Liara' Shepard was surprised but not. They had been spending more time together since Liara came back from Thessia where she had buried her mother. Shepard felt they were getting closer and was convinced the Asari felt the same although they hadn't yet spoken about how they felt.

'Shepard I just wanted to see if you were alright… if you would rather be left alone I will leave'. Liara was still standing just inside the closed door and looked unsure of herself.

Shepard stood 'well to be honest a minute ago I thought I did want to be left alone but now you're standing there I can't imagine wanting to be on my own although if I'm honest it's more that I don't want you to leave' she smiled at Liara and gestured for her to sit in the chair at the desk and Shepard was intending to sit on the edge of the bed.

In one fluid movement Liara almost ran across the room, put her arms around Shepard and pulled her into an embrace, Shepard took a moment to realise what was happening and just got her arms around Liara as the Asari began to let Shepard go probably thinking that her embrace was not going to be reciprocated.

They stood for what seemed like a long time, just holding each other, Liara's cheek against Shepard's neck. She felt a fire burn inside her an intense longing to kiss this woman whose body felt so right against her and whose scent was filling her senses.

Shepard looked down at Liara and at the same time put her fingers under Liara's chin and gently lifted her face so that they were looking into each other's eyes. Those beautiful, deep, fascinating blue eyes, Shepard was lost in them, lost in this moment and she moved closer to Liara so close she could feel her breath on her own face.

But in the final instant it was Liara who brought her lips to meet Shepard's. The kiss was at first gentle full of tenderness but then it was as if the fires of desire took hold of them both at the same time and they kissed intensely, passionately, longingly. Shepard wanted to rip Liara's clothes off her and throw her onto the bed but she would not do anything to jeopardise what was already happening.

They did fall back onto the bed and carried on kissing, arms holding and then hands exploring and all the time both their breath coming in shorter and shorter gasps. Shepard felt that she could explode with the need to be with Liara, she wanted to fuck her to be inside her, take her, and be taken.

With a struggle Shepard stopped kissing Liara and looked into her eyes.

'I want you' Shepard said 'this isn't a casual thing Liara, I feel so drawn to you, there is something between us isn't there?'

'Yes Shepard I feel it too' Liara looked hesitant and went on 'I do want to be with you, but I am not sure I am ready…. I have not… this is… oh Goddess… I do not know…' Liara broke off and focussed on something just over Shepard's right shoulder.

'Hey Liara its ok we can take this at your pace' Shepard smiled at her drawing her face back so that they were looking at each other again 'are you saying what I think your saying… um… you haven't been with anyone in this way… before' Shepard trailed off realising that having read stuff on the extranet was probably not the best way to understand Asari personal or sexual relationships and that she probably ought to wait and have that conversation with Liara.

'No Shepard I have not melded with anyone before. I have not even been interested in anyone. I lived my life away from people, I am not good in groups I am never sure what to do or what to say, my stay on the Normandy with you and the others has been very different to how I have spent most of my time.' Liara was on her side supporting her head with a hand and resting on her elbow.

'You are so beautiful' Shepard was laying on her back looking up at the Asari and actually didn't mean to say anything out loud but Liara smiled and Shepard felt the tension lighten and felt it lighten even more as Liara leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips.

'I do feel we have a strong connection Shepard and I want to be with you but I think I need a little more time before taking the next step' Liara looked serious 'although there are rumours about Asari promiscuity they are not true and I would not want you to think that I was not serious about this… you' she finished still looking both serious and worried.

'Really I get it Liara we can take it slow… make sure your ready… but… we can carry on kissing and stuff huh?' Shepard gave Liara a huge grin and realised for the first time in a long time she actually felt happy despite also feeling the loss and pain associated with the past couple of day's events.

Liara smiled down at Shepard and leaned in for another kiss 'Oh yes Shepard I think we should definitely carry on with the kissing but you will have to explain the 'stuff' part to me as I am not sure I understand'.

'Ah well I think it might be easier if I demonstrate the 'stuff' bit, but don't worry it's what we humans used to call heavy petting... yeah don't ask I have no idea why… but let's try some and then make our own name up for it'.

Through the laughter forming on both their lips they began kissing again this time more slowly and Shepard felt Liara's hands on the back of her head and felt the Asari pull her into a tighter kiss, felt Liara's hands rubbing gently against Shepard's short hair. They eventually fell asleep in each other's arms exhausted by the last mission and the giant step they had taken towards each other.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Sorry this chapter was a little delayed will definitely get two more out before next Sunday. Thank you for sticking with the story.

Chapter 5

Shepard felt consciousness closing in on her and the, now, familiar feeling of helplessness and constraint brought her back to 'the darkness'. She strained to hear if there were any noises of approaching rescue, but she still couldn't make anything out and having her helmet on was not helping with the sensation of being under water. It was cracked, however, she could tell from the way it felt on the back of her head, and the visor had come right off as she could feel her face exposed to wherever she was; that told her what level of force had hit her. It was heavy armour.

She began to notice something else… she felt the edge being taken off the pain she was feeling. It had to be medi gel from the micro infusers inside her suit; well at least her life signs were still strong enough to trigger her suits system. Again she thought briefly that she couldn't have been laying here that long as medi gel infusers kick in almost immediately on any sign of injury.

'Tell me about these scars Shepard' Liara's voice, soft, gentle, close. Shepard was somehow both here and laying on the bed in her cabin feeling Liara's fingers trace first the deep scar that ran from her forehead down across her eye and continuing halfway down the right side of her face; then to the cluster of scars that ran along her jawline and across the bottom of her left cheek which looked as if she had been mauled by a varren's paw.

'I have more you could be tracing on other parts of my body' Shepard smiled up lazily at Liara and pulled her down into a kiss.

'What the fuck happened Liara… where am I… why can't I remember' Shepard was pretty sure she managed to say that out loud and she noticed she was drifting off in a different way this time and it made her want to hold on tight to this reality, even if it was only full of pain and confusion.

'Dammit… don't… stay with me marine' she was taking full advantage of that drill sergeant in her head to try to keep conscious.

'You have another concussion Commander, you know although you are enhanced you are not immune to injury and you are most definitely not a Krogan' Dr Chakwas was smiling at her from across the other side of the medbay.

'Doc is that you… is that what this is… where are you… fuck, fuck, stay in one place Shepard'. But the combination of the medi gel, her stress, injuries and exhaustion were sending her into a deeper unconscious state.

'Don't make me go back there… not back there' she mumbled as she felt herself drifting away, but somewhere in her mind she knew that she had already condemned herself to exactly that memory.

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Shepard led her team from the Mako and walked up the beach towards what looked like a command post where a group of Salarian's were standing watching them. They heard a very familiar sound and turned to look out across a truly beautiful bay in time to see the Normandy touching down in the shallows. She could feel the sun on her head and face, the water was azure blue and she was about to bring death and destruction to this paradise; although she knew that Saren was responsible for the coming fight, she still felt the weight of always being the 'destroyer of worlds' as she was beginning to think of herself in her darker moments.

They had established proper communication with the STG team when they had destroyed the defence communication and jamming tower. Once fully apprised of the situation Shepard agreed with the Salarian Captain that it was critical to destroy what was a Krogan breeding facility designed to supply Saren with an army of controllable Krogan warriors.

Despite Shepard and her team having taken out the heavy AA guns, radar and communications array outside the complex they still had AA guns to take down inside the complex if they were going to use the Normandy in the attack.

The leader of the Salarian commandos, Captain Kirrahe, outlined the situation and plan but at the point he talked about destroying the whole facility, including the Krogan breeding facility and its manufactured genophage cure, Wrex absolutely blew his stack and stormed out onto the beach. Shepard followed him out, Wrex was a friend, she was strangely fond of the big Krogan and she was not going to lose him over Saren and his torture based bad science.

'You all want to destroy the future of my people, this is a chance for us to undo the punishment of the genophage and even you who I thought I could count as a friend, you want to destroy the Krogan future' Wrex was more angry than she had ever seen him outside battle 'I will not walk away from this even if you all turn on me, I don't want to fight you Shepard but I won't just walk away' he brought his shotgun up and pointed it directly at Shepard 'tell me you won't let them do this, tell me you won't let them destroy my future or are you now my enemy'.

His eyes were locked with Shepard's and she did not flinch or waver, she didn't reach for a weapon, in fact she walked forward and pushed her chest against the business end of the shotgun.

'Wrex, you've seen how Saren works, how he experiments, how he makes monsters of the beings he wants to use for his own purpose. Tell me, from all you know of what Saren wants to do and all we've seen him do tell me Wrex if you think he will create Krogan with their own minds and will. Tell me if you really trust that however he has managed to work around the genophage that it is a true cure that frees the Krogan people and doesn't damn them to slavery and who knows what kind of physical or mental side effects. And answer me this Wrex… do you believe that I am not only your friend but also a friend to the Krogan people… and that I will not just do everything I can to help you find a cure for the genophage but I won't rest until I have. If you can't call me friend Wrex pull the trigger because I won't raise a weapon against you'. She was calm and steady and had no idea why she felt so certain that Wrex would not shoot her. She was also aware out of the corner of her eye that they were being watched and she suspected nervously watched by the rest of her team.

'Aw hell Shepard you know I trust you and what you say makes sense…. It just feels like again the Krogan have to lose more than anyone else' as he spoke he lowered his shotgun and looked across at the small group who were still studying them from the other end of the beach 'I knew I liked you Shepard you have quads' he finished with a bark of laughter.

Shepard gave him a broad grin and they walked back towards the meeting to resume planning, 'I meant what I said Wrex, I will help you find a cure for the genophoge', Wrex nodded in reply.

Once back inside the command tent they stood once again around the large table across which were spread the schematics of the compound. It wasn't a full picture and the information had been gathered at the cost of over twenty members of the STG reconnaissance team.

'As I said Commander' Kirrahe spoke in that quick fashion that marked Salarian speech 'we will need to get the explosive device into the heart of the complex, here', he pointed at the plan and also showed a vid clip of the proposed site. It was surrounded by low buildings on two sides and a taller block on the third. It appeared to be some form of large open water run-off and it was at its lowest point where the buildings intersected that they would plant the drive core from the Salarian ship that would be rigged to melt down and cause a nuclear blast.

'We will need to carry out a frontal attack to achieve two objectives. First, will be to take out the heavy AA guns so that Normandy can drop off the bomb. Second… to fight our way into the complex to try to secure the bomb site. I will split my remaining forces into three teams, one of which will make for the bomb site to secure it' he finished and fixed her with a meaningful stare as he had just described a near suicide mission for the frontal assault fire team.

Shepard stared down at the schematics and knew that this plan was their best option and she also knew that she would need to help out the now depleted Salarian special forces team in order for them to achieve their shared objectives.

'We need to have time to find wherever Saren may be storing information and pick up information from the research labs on our way through' she stood up straight and moved her eyes from the schematics to address the whole room but particularly Kaidan and Ash.

'Kaidan you will lead half of our marine squad and support the STG team taking out the AA guns, Ash you take the other half of the squad, with Garrus, and fight your way to the bomb site. Secure and hold the bomb site, await Normandy drop.' Shepard's directions were met with nods and sounds of agreement.

'Tali you go back to the Normandy and work with the Salarian engineer to rig the bomb. I will lead a stealth team in through this weak point that should take us almost straight into the labs and access to the main tower which is the most likely location of any information that might be useful. My team will then work down to the bomb site and support that position until we are ready to leave.'

'Liara and Wrex you are with me' she looked now at the Salarian Captain 'we will synchronise timing and maintain comms through our omni tools on a secure channel.'

'Agreed Commander, and thank you for the support at the front door, I will go and prepared my team.' He left the tent and Shepard's team were left to begin doing some detailed planning. There was a little discussion about just taking out the complex with the Normandy but this had already been dismissed because of the nature of the buildings and defences.

Shepard, Ash and Kaidan assembled the marine squad who formed two ranks, she told them to stand easy. Shepard outlined the mission and was blunt about the fight they were walking into.

'What is the deadliest weapon in the galaxy?' she shouted in her best gunney voice.

'A marine and his rifle' around two thirds of the squad shouted back with the rest shouting 'A marine and her rifle' in one loud voice and a smile on most faces.

'Who's like us…' she shouted as she paced up and down in front of the ranks.

'Dammed few and they're all dead' came the loud reply.

'Make me proud… Semper Fi' Shepard finished and she saluted her marines.

'Ooorah' and the squad stood as one to attention her salute returned.

Shepard dismissed them and the two fire teams formed up, with Garrus joining Ash, and they began final preparations. The Salarian Captain was still giving his 'pep' talk so Shepard, Wrex and Liara moved off to the edge of the beach which was closest to their route towards the complex.

'Nice speech Shepard but we tend to get more blood boiling started before battle,' Wrex smiled as he spoke and slapped her on the back, she smiled back.

'How long have you been with your squad, or perhaps I mean how well do you know them?' Liara asked.

'Only since we all started serving on the Normandy, but I brought five of them with me from my lasts posting and I've served with them for around two years. But how long doesn't make a difference LIara, they are all marines, my marines, so I know them as well as I know myself.' She smiled at Liara but knew that the Asari wouldn't understand what she was trying to say. Shepard thought about the last time she had ordered marines into a battle with such bad odds against them.

'You are proud of them Shepard, are you not?' Liara spoke softly moving slightly closer to Shepard so that their shoulders touched as they walked slowly up the beach.

Shepard looked at Liara and smiled, 'yes I am very proud of them and I know they will do everything that's is asked and needed of them', maybe Liara understood a little she thought.

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Shepard and her team reached their entry point after hacking though some serious jungle growth. They had to disable security alarms once they reached clear ground and had the warehouse buildings in sight. Unfortunately they had to cross a single walkway which had no cover and on the other side were around ten Geth troopers. The attack on the front of the facility would be triggered once Shepard was inside or immediately if her team were discovered.

They positioned themselves as close as they could and agreed that Liara would lift and hold in stasis as large a group as she could on the right while Wrex used his biotics to blast as big a group as he could on the left, whatever was left in the middle Shepard would take out as quickly as possible with her sniper. They would all finish of the group Liara had in stasis. The team would not leave any 'wounded' Geth behind them.

It worked like a charm and they were running over the walkway and approaching the entrance without the Geth even getting one shot off.

Shepard hacked the entrance door and once inside found access to the security system and disabled all internal alarms and sensors. The Geth would know they were being attacked once the frontal assault started but they had an advantage once inside the complex. She hoped the Geth would be too busy to spend too much time trying to undo the virus she had used to kill the security systems.

'We're in, and internal alarms and sensors disabled but I don't know for how long' Shepard's message would trigger the attack on the complex and she received affirmatives from Kirrahe, Ash and Kaidan.

As Shepard and her team worked their way through the facility they saw the horrors, one again, of Sarens laboratory work. By the time they had cleared through two areas with Krogan 'drones' being 'created' alongside husks by indoctrinated Salarian scientists Wrex was in no doubt it all had to be destroyed.

They had some fighting to do but from the updates they were receiving from the fire teams that was where the action was and it was at its most intense fighting to secure and then destroy the AA guns.

Shepard couldn't help the feeling of guilt for not being with her team but she also knew that they were also carrying out an extremely important and dangerous element of the mission; they could be over run at any moment and they were on their own.

They managed to release a couple of the captured Salarian's who hadn't already been indoctrinated who hurried off to join the fight but they also had to kill a few who when released just went crazy and tried to kill them. Shepard made a decision in that moment that she would never let any of her team or crew be taken prisoner by Saren and if she had to she would kill them herself. It was an unlikely scenario as she knew that everyone she served with would fight to the death unless ordered otherwise and they would never get that order from Shepard, not with this enemy.

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Shepard finally found what had to be Sarens 'office', but when they hacked their way in they found another Prothean beacon. Shepard knew she would have to engage with it to find out what Saren knew, but the prospect of yet again having her mind overloaded with not only images but emotions that were a blur at best but nevertheless managed to imprint the impact of an entire civilisation being wiped out by these 'Reapers' was something she could happily live without. She moved close enough to be caught in its field and felt the now familiar jolt as she was captured, the feeling that her head was on fire and the sensation of having information, events, memories 'uploaded' to her mind.

When the beacon had done with her she felt her feet hit the floor and felt woozy but was glad that unlike the first time she did not pass out. Liara and Wrex moved to her side to help steady her.

'Was there anything different Shepard' Liara asked with concern but also interest showing on her face and in her voice.

'Not sure, all the usual nightmare stuff but it did feel towards the end as if… hard to describe… but almost like a different 'story' maybe… that's the only way to describe it' Shepard replied.

'When we get back to the Normandy I can help you with another meld…' Liara's words were but off as a huge hologram appeared at the top of the stairs they had just come down.

Shepard led the others to stand in front of the projection that looked exactly like the Reapers in the Prothean visions she now contained within her mind.

'Shepard is that... from the beacon… it's a Reaper' Liara sounded almost awe struck but her fear was clear in her voice and Shepard made sure she and Wrex were standing a little in front of her just in case.

'You are not Seren' the voice was deep, rumbling with an edge of echo and it sounded digitally created 'rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh you touch my mind fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding'.

'Did that thing just call us dumb Shepard' Wrex growled.

'There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot imagine it, I am beyond your comprehension, I am Sovereign'.

'I think it just did it again Wrex,' Shepard said with a no trace of amusement 'so Saren didn't just find a Reaper ship you are an actual Reaper' it was a statement not a question and Shepard felt some pieces of information slip into place in her mind.

'Reaper is a name given to us by the Prothean's to give voice to their destruction, in the end what they choose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are.'

'The Prothean's vanished fifty thousand years ago and how come we don't know anything about you' Wrex seemed itching to hit the thing and all his frustration sounded in his voice.

'Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation. Your lives are measured in decades and centuries, you wither and die. We are eternal the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us you are nothing your extinction is inevitable, we are the end of everything.'

'You certainly are a buzz kill and this is no way to get a second date…. Listen big fucking machine voice whatever plans you got, they're going to fail, you have my word on that' Shepard leaned forward and emphasised her last words by jabbing her finger at the centre of the Reapers 'head'.

Shepard just caught Liara standing up a little taller out the corner of her eye and Wrex rumbled a low growl echoing Shepard's defiance.

'Confidence born of ignorance, the cycle cannot be broken.'

'What cycle' Liara asked.

'The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilisations rise, evolve, advance and at the apex of the glory they are extinguished. The Prothean's were not the first they did not build the citadel they did not forge the mass relays. They were created by my kind.'

'So you want us to develop and you give us a head start then destroy us' Shepard looked briefly at Wrex and Liara and continued 'anyone else seeing this as more than a little fucked up…'

'By using our technology your society develops along paths that we desire, we impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it and you will end because we demand it.'

'Oh Goddess they are harvesting us' Liara sounded shocked and fearful.

'Yeah well you and your little almighty god complex is getting kinda old motor mouth, what do you want?' Shepard's tone was hard and she let none of the knowledge that was now bleeding into her conscious mind show in her demeanour, but she didn't need the Reaper to answer her question, she had the answer in her head from the Prothean's.

'My kind transcends your very understanding, we are each a nation, free of weakness, you cannot even grasp the nature of our existence. We have no beginning we have no end, millions of years after your race has been eradicated and forgotten we will endure.'

'So have you got your friends with you or are they giving you a wide berth due to your sparkling personality?' but Shepard knew if the full Reaper forces were here they would be left in no doubt, she had seen them, in the sky's and she saw what they were capable of.

'We are legion, the time of our return draws near, our numbers will darken the sky above every world, you cannot escape your doom.'

'You're not really alive, you're just a machine and machines can be broken…' Shepard's words were cut off by the Reaper.

'Your words are as empty as your future, I am the vanguard of your destruction, this exchange is over.'

The holographic interface seemed to break into shards and disappear shaking the room and rocking the platform they were standing on.

'Yeah fuck you' Shepard said to the empty space. She turned around and saw how shaken Liara was but before she could do anything to try to comfort her Joker broke in over her comms.

'Commander we got trouble,'

'Hell Joker hit me with it… not sure we have enough going on down here already' Shepard's reply was accompanied with a few small shakes of the head and she started back towards the exit.

'I don't know what you did down there Commander but that ship Sovereign just pulled a turn that would sheer any of our ships in two… its coming right at you and its coming hard… you maybe want to wrap things up down there.'

'Joker we're headed for the bomb site meet us there, time to blow this place the hell up.'

'Aye, aye Commander.'

'Give me a progress report Ash we are headed your way and so is the Normandy with the device' Shepard, Wrex and Liara were moving fast and now heading for the main breeding facility where the bomb was to be set.

'This is Garrus Shepard we have secured the bomb site and are awaiting your arrival, we have taken heavy casualties, Ash and a couple of the other marines are very badly wounded' Garrus continued 'I am pulling in any members of the Salarian fire teams that are still operational to our position to hold while the bomb is set and for extraction.'

'Good, Garrus remain in command of that position and secure our objective if anything happens to me' Shepard was effectively giving command of the mission to Garrus and the authority to blow up the facility whether she was going to make it out or not… just in case… but she had no intention of dying here… she had a bigger enemy to fight.

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When they got to the bomb site the Normandy was in situ and the bomb had been off loaded, Garrus had defensive positions set further up the run using both marine and Salarian forces. Shepard went to Garrus's side and asked for an update.

'Loaded the wounded onto the Normandy, Ash was protesting like hell but she passed out as the Normandy arrived so that made it easier, Kirrahe and the remains of his team are due here in the next minute they are cleaning out Geth and Krogan on their way. As you can see we still have a lively fire fight going on here, but…' Garrus looked straight at Shepard 'the fire team that took out the AA guns are completely cut off and facing heavy numbers we just couldn't get to them.'

Shepard nodded and spoke into her comms 'Kaidan sit rep'.

There was the sound of gunfire and explosions through the comms, 'Commander we will hold her for as long as we can but there is no way we can get back for extraction' Kaidan's voice was firm and steady, Shepard would expect nothing less.

'Hold on I am going to come up and break you out' Shepard started to look around to see who she could take with her, Garrus was still looking at her and he was shaking his head slowly..

'Shepard we need all the help we can get to hold this position while they prepare the bomb… and… it's too late for them…' he spoke quietly concern clear in in eyes.

'Negative Commander' Kaidan's voice came through the noise and the static 'we can't hold for longer than a few minutes and you need to make sure that bomb does its job… been an honour serving with you Commander…'

'Semper fi marine' Shepard said into her comms just before the static told her she had lost the link and the whole team, her shoulders sagged a little, then her attention was drawn back to the situation with a shout from Tali that the bomb was ready.

'Fall back to the Normandy' Shepard shouted 'Garrus, Wrex your with me , we'll lay down covering fire until everyone in on-board… get a couple of heavy weapons set up on the edge of the ramp…' Shepard shouted to the marines now moving back to the Normandy.

Liara came to join them but Shepard told her to evac now, there was just a slight hesitation before Liara moved off firing biotic slams over her shoulder at the advancing Geth as she went.

When everyone else was on board they began moving back to the ramp, over their heads the sound of heavy canon and machine gun started to rip the air and rip up the advancing Geth.

'Get us out of her Joker… fast… and try to avoid that big fucking Reaper ship on the way' Shepard called over her comms to her pilot the minute they were on board.

They cleared the blast zone quickly and with only a minute to spare, they had to set the shortest delay so that they would give the Geth no chance of neutralising the bomb.

She made sure the wounded were being taken care of and the rest of her team and the Salarian's had access to whatever they needed including access to the bar in the observation lounge. Then scheduled calls to Admiral Hackett and the Citadel, to update the Council.

Shepard would need Liara's help to 'decode' any useful information about the conduit that had come from the last beacon. But first she went to her cabin and would have an hour to herself; she dropped onto the bed still in full armour and stared at the ceiling.

Now she would have time to count the cost, now she would have to let the meaning of all the horrors in her head wash over her, now she knew the nightmares she had been having were not nightmares at all but a forewarning of what was crashing down on them all from dark space at the hands of monsters.

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A/N sorry to drop this in at the end but I wondered if you would be ok answering just a couple of questions… and any other review/feedback would be very welcome.

Am I giving enough description of the events or do you feel I run through at too fast a pace, leaving a lot for you to 'fill in the gaps'? I am assuming a high degree of story knowledge from game play.

I worry that I am not sticking with the right 'tense', present, past current, due to the form of the story, wondered how often I got it mixed.

Thanks in advance for any feedback.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Shepard felt her back aching or was it pain, what was she lying on… an edge of that tormented trapped place and then she was staring up at the ceiling of her cabin.

There was a soft knock on her door and she hauled herself into a sitting position 'come in' she said and her voice sounded weary.

'I really do not mean to disturb you Shepard but I have some idea of what you may be dealing with… and 'Liara was hesitant and looked uncertain but determined 'well if we are to be more to each other then perhaps you could be more unguarded with me and let me support you...' she trailed off a little still not having moved far from the doorway.

Shepard smiled and a little of what she had been feeling overwhelmed by lifted 'I think you meant that I could 'let my guard down'… you are a sight for sore eyes Liara and you'll just have to look that one up on the extranet if you aren't aware of its meaning' Shepard stood up and began taking off her armour.

Liara smiled and looked less apprehensive than she had done. The Commander's reputation for privacy, being professional but also not showing anything she was feeling that would have a negative affect on her team or her crew was well known; and LIara wasn't sure yet how far she could cross those boundaries.

'Please let me help you with that' and she began to help unbuckle Shepard's shoulder guards. In the process their cheeks brushed together and without a word they turned into each other and kissed, it was long slow and tender. Shepard began to explore Liara's lips with her tongue and met the tip of Asari's as they mirrored each others actions.

The kiss became more passionate and their desire for each other was clear in the response of their bodies… breath coming in shorter gasps, quickened hearts beating with excitement, the throbbing need that started between Shepard's legs and radiated out until every inch of her needed release, needed Liara.

She heard Liara's breathless words in her ear 'Shepard I need you… I want to join with you…'

'Liara are you sure' Shepard spoke in between kissing the Asari's neck and trying to rid herself of the armour that felt like it was keeping them apart 'this has not been an ordinary day… you know I want you… to be with you…' she broke of and brought Liara's face up so that they were looking into each other's eyes.

'I have never been so sure of anything in my life Shepard' Liara had tears and desire in her eyes, and there was something else that Shepard didn't want to dare to hope that she had seen.

'Fucking armour… shit… sorry Liara just let me get out of this…' Shepard smiled but quickly started to rip at the fastenings to shed the remaining barrier between her and her desire.

'Commander' Joker's voice came over the comm.

'What' Shepard shouted and all her frustration and exhaustion fired the word like a bullet into the air.

'Sorry ma'am… but… your call to Admiral Hackett is coming in early' Joker sounded wary and apologetic and Shepard immediately felt guilty for yelling at him.

'All right thank you Joker' she said sounding more like her usual calm, in control self.

'Sorry Liara… for yelling… I… I have to take this in the comm room' Shepard's shoulders sagged as she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on a pair of work boots.

'You have no need to apologise Shepard' Liara was picking up Shepard's hoodie and as she handed it to the human she cupped Shepard's face in her hand and continued 'I will wait for you here and when you have completed all your duties we can pick up where we left off…. If you still want to' Liara had been confident until the last moment but then her old nervous shyness reasserted itself.

Shepard reached out and pulled Liara into a hug 'I'll find it difficult to think about anything else, thank you' and with a final brief kiss Shepard left the room.

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Shepard had just signed off from her call with Admiral Hackett. She took her position as a Spectre seriously and her loyalty to the Council as representatives of the Galaxy would never be in doubt. But she was an Alliance marine to her very bones and she saw no conflict with that and her duties as a Spectre, what was good for the Galaxy was also protection for the Human Systems Alliance. To protect was a cornerstone of her service within the Alliance.

She had lost marines and some were still seriously wounded, but they got the job done and they had gathered vital intel on Saren's intentions, his research and the plan's of the bigger threat, the Reapers.

The were heading for the Citadel so that their wounded could be taken care of properly but it was almost a three day run as they were on the other side of the Galaxy.

She was waiting for the call to come in from the Council when Joker came on the comm.

'Commander you're not going to believe this but I have a hail from that bastard Saren, he wants to talk to you' Joker sounded angry and worried.

'Are our comms systems secure, get Tali up there with you to check it out, this could be a trick to hack the ship or find our location' Shepard replied.

'On it Commander, I can stall him for a few until Tali has had a chance to check things out, she's here now' Joker said.

'Do that, Tali can you try to find out where he is and also what ship he is travelling in?'

'I will do my best commander' Tali's voice was steady despite the huge responsibility that had just been put on her shoulders.

Shepard called up Liara on her comms 'Liara, can you come and join me in the comms room please, Saren apparently wants a chat' Shepard said and then in a lighter tone 'you are still decent aren't you?'

'Of course Commander I will be with you in a few minutes.' Shepard could hear the smile in her voice and she sighed to herself knowing this night was shaping up to be a long one and probably not in a good way.

Tali had made all the preparations she could and was ready for Joker to accept the call from Saren; both Liara and Garrus had joined her in the comms room and were sitting out of sight.

'Let's see what the murdering bastard wants then shall we' Shepard almost growled into the comms to Joker.

Saren's holographic image came up almost immediately and even though Shepard knew he was light years away she still had to hold herself back from punching him in the face.'

'Commander Shepard for a human you have proved to be very troublesome' Saren managed to make he entire sentence an insult whilst at the same time making her sound like some insignificant irritant.

'I had a nice chat with your boss on Virmire, now he knows how to put a species down, your going to have to do a lot better than that if you want to insult me you lying, traitorous son of a bitch' Shepard made sure the disgust and hatred she felt towards the ex-Spectre was present in every word.

'Don't you hold back now Shepard' Garrus said quietly from where he was sitting to her left and she could hear the smile in his voice.

'This is exactly why I never went to the Council with this, you don't understand, I'm doing this to save lives, I could save millions of lives by working with the Reapers.'

'Just how the fuck do you manage to make yourself believe that Saren, please, explain this should be good' Shepard leaned back a little and crossed her arms in front of her chest and kept her eyes fixed on him.

'You've seen the same as I have, the warnings on from the beacons, you know what the Reapers are capable of, we can't defeat them, the only way some of us can survive is by working with them. If we are useful to them, as I am to Sovereign, it needs me to find the conduit and when I find it I will be rewarded, my people, the Turian's will be rewarded and so can yours if you join me now before its too late.'

As Saren was talking Shepard could feel Garrus bristle and guessed that he was disgusted that Saren would think the Turian people would ever make a deal and become slaves to the Reapers just to survive.

'I think if you were in your right mind you'd know that neither the Turian or the Human race… hell none of the races in the Galaxy (except perhaps the Batarian's she thought) would choose slavery over fighting for their freedom… even you Saren' she changed tack quickly to try to catch him off guard 'I've seen some of the research that you were carrying out on Virmire. It wasn't all Krogan army breeding. You're afraid of being indoctrinated and your trying to find something to protect you… but you can't fight it Saren can you, you saw what it did the Benezia as powerful as she was' Shepard left the question hanging.

'No, Sovereign needs me… all I have to do is find the conduit… the more indoctrinated the subject becomes the less they are useful and… I am useful to Sovereign, but I must find the conduit Shepard and you are interfering with my task' Saren didn't sound as confident as Shepard had heard him in the past.

'Where is it Saren, we could find it together, if we could work together we could defeat them?' She would try this once but in her heart she knew he was already to far gone to listen to reason.

'You cannot fight them, you are damming us all to the same fate, I am trying to save millions and you want us all to die.'

'You took an oath Saren, an oath as a Spectre to protect the Council and the Galaxy and here you are helping the Reapers just to save your own skin, your pathetic, a scared pathetic piece of shit coward' she just wanted to get her hands on him to tear him apart for helping to bring the darkness to the Galaxy and for the lives he had already taken.

'You will never understand Shepard and that is why you must die, the next time we meet I will kill you, and the next time I stand on the Citadel it will not be to answer to the Council' he finished as he had started with a sneer in his voice; the hologram disappeared and for a moment it was as if a blanket of silence had fallen over the room.

'Joker, Tali did we get anything?' Shepard asked.

'Only a rough indication of where he is Shepard, in the Terminus System, and he is on a Geth ship, that is why I was able to hack his comms feed' Tali said 'I am sorry I could not get a more exact position.'

'That's good enough Tali thank you, Joker did they try to hack us?'

'No Commander or if they tried they didn't get far enough to trigger any alerts.'

Shepard turned to Garrus and Liara 'I'm going to call Tali, Wrex and Kirrahe down for a meeting; we need to review the situation before I speak to the Council.

Once they were all gathered Shepard told them all of the conversation with Saren.

'Liara, Tali how is your work progressing on plotting the new position of the Mu relay from the information we had from Benezia' Shepard hoped the second mention of her mothers name would be a little less painful as it highlighted the fact that despite being highly indoctrinated Liara's mother had fought back enough to share all the information she had.

'The algorithms I am using to calculate its position still have some time to run, but we could expect an answer within the next thirty six hours' Liara replied, she had been working on a computer model that would plot the most likely position of the relay.

'I am using a slightly different set of computer simulations which are more likely to be along the same lines that Saren's Geth are using for their calculations, so we have it covered Commander, we just have to wait for the answer to spit out' Tali finished with a smile.

'Ok, but I hate just waiting, is there no way we can speed this up' Shepard was impatient but she knew Saren had to carry out the same process.

'We will find the Mu relay Commander and as quickly as Saren does,' Liara looked at Shepard and continued 'but it is as important to know where to head for once we find the relay and for that you will need to work on what the beacon told you, I can help with that later if you wish.'

'Yes your right Liara, but we have one other problem' Shepard stood up and looked around them all.

'I believe that whatever else Saren is planning or whatever the conduit is, I'm sure they plan to attack the Citadel. I don't think Saren realised just how much he let slip with his final dig at the Council.'

'I agree Shepard,' said Garrus 'you know the whole time he was talking it was as if… oh well we all know he's as mad as a box of space hamsters… but it was as if he was drifting in and out of being in control of himself. And whenever you got him pissed he seemed to lose control and let things slip. It's how we know he hasn't found the coordinates to the Mu relay yet' Garrus finished.

Kirrahe spoke for the first time 'It will not be easy convincing the Council of any of this, they have a tendency to minimise risk, they are politicians after all.'

Shepard had taken to the Salarian as they were planning the assault on the complex, he was a soldier and despite having taken several bullets to various parts of his body he had insisted in getting out of the med bay as soon as he could stand and was keen to offer any further assistance he could to Shepard's mission.

'Yeah Shepard it's a pity we couldn't take a piece of that Reaper to show them what we're up against' Wrex added 'they won't believe it until one of them drops out of the sky on their heads' he finished with a dry bark of a laugh.

'Ok well I think we all need to rest up on the journey back to the Citadel, pray to whatever works that the calculations we are using pay off and we can pinpoint the Mu relay; work out where to go once we find the relay and convince the Council that the Citadel is in danger; and that we need to hunt Sovereign down as Saren is just its tool' she knew what an impossible set of problems she had set out.

'Well that takes care of the next few days, what shall we plan for next week… ending poverty, slavery and bringing the Terminus System under Council control' Garrus spoke with a glint in his eyes, his mandibles twitching and huge smile on his face.

'Sounds good to me' laughed Shepard and taking advantage of the mood having been lightened she dismissed the team and waited alone for her last call, the one from the Council.

The call came in not long after and it was bad tempered, mainly between her and the Turian Councillor who always spoke down to her and was condescending in the extreme. Without proof they were not willing to accept the Reaper threat believing instead it was a ploy of Saren's to distract Shepard and the rest of the Galaxy from his real plans, whatever they were. But they did seem to take the threat to the Citadel seriously and the Asari Councillor told Shepard that although the Council races could not act directly that is what the Spectres were for, so perhaps Shepard could continue to gather evidence. They agreed that Shepard would meet with the Council on her return to the Citadel and that defences and a fleet would be pulled together to thwart Saren.

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As Shepard emerged from the elevator and began to head towards her cabin Doctor Chakwas appeared at the MedBay door and began to walk towards her.

'What's the matter Doc?' Shepard asked in concern worried that perhaps one of the wounded had taken a turn for the worse.

'I thought you may want to know Commander that Chief Williams is awake and I thought you would want to tell her about Alenko yourself.

She did but would have preferred to do it after a night's sleep, but she said 'yes of course I'll come now. Is she completely alert?'

'Yes but she won't be awake long and she is having high infusions of medi-gel for the pain' Dr Chakwas sat back down at her desk as they entered the MedBay and Shepard walked up to the bed that was bathed in a soft light further up the room.

'Commander I'm sorry I didn't want to be evacuated till we had finished the mission, I feel like I let you down and I know I lost half my squad at least' Ash's face was deathly pale and she had tubes in both her arms. She had taken a couple of hits but by far the worse was a bullet wound to her side which did some internal damage and cost her a lot of blood.

'That's enough Ash, its ok; it was a hell of a mission… I got a full report from Garrus on your actions and I will be recommending you for a commendation and medal for bravery' Shepard had heard how Williams had showed extreme courage in leading her squad into overwhelming odds and had also gone back for a wounded marine and carried him to cover under fire.

'I… not sure… I just did my job ma'am… and we lost…' Ash was having trouble with the concept of being acknowledged as a hero and perhaps wiping the family slate clean.

'You did more than your job a couple of times so I hear it.'

'How did the lieutenant do, they were under a lot of fire taking those guns out' she asked and Shepard could avoid it no longer.

'He didn't make it, he and his squad were overrun and I couldn't spare any troops to go and help, we had to leave them behind' there it was, her own personal nightmare, not only dead troops but they left them behind. Her only consolation, if it could ever be a consolation, was that even if they were captured they would have been killed in the blast.

'But… that should have been me… I didn't understand at the time why you choose me to cut a path to the bomb site and you send Alenko to the…. to…' she didn't finish but they both knew what taking the AA guns as an objective had been.

'Complete a suicide mission, yes' Shepard said. It had been clear from the beginning that whichever team headed for the AA guns they were not getting out unless they could be reinforced or actively extracted, neither of which was a real possibility.

'You knew… you knew when you sent Kaidan… why did I get to live…' she was upset but also angry.

'We all know that there may be a mission or a fight that we won't come back from… I didn't pick you to live and I didn't pick Kaidan to die… I had to choose on the basis of which objective would play to strengths…' Shepard was cut off as Ash almost leapt up from the bed.

'You didn't trust me to take the guns and hold them to the last marine… you thought I was a coward…' Shepard cut across her as she saw Dr Chakwas stand up from her desk.

'That's enough Williams, I told you I made my decision based on experience and skills… there was a real chance that the whole mission would be a bust and none of us would get out… but yes I choose Kaidan knowing that neither he nor his team would be coming back and I did it cold… that's what command is' Shepard realised she had raised her voice and was feeling the edge of anger, but it wasn't that Ash had challenged her but more that Ash had force her to face what Shepard had been dodging until she had enough strength to deal with it.

Shepard once again had had to choose who would have a fighting chance and who would go to their certain death; she had to choose a friend and fellow marines and order them to fight to their death.

Dr Chakwas was now standing by the bed and said 'I think that's enough for tonight Commander, Chief Williams you need to get some rest I am going to give you a light sedative to help you relax.

But Ash hadn't quite finished twisting the knife Shepard had plunged into her own gut.

'You didn't need to volunteer us for that part of the mission we could have left it to the Salarian's… we could have stuck together… not lost as many…' this time it was the Doctor who cut off the end of Ash's comments.

'That is quite enough Williams you have no right to question your commanding officers decisions, now get some sleep.'

Shepard turned and walked away from the bed without another word and headed straight for her cabin, Ash could go to hell, they could all go to hell, none of them were living with the nightmares she had in her head… they were all going to hell if she couldn't convince the Council the threat was real. Like to see you deal with that command decision Williams she thought bitterly.

Liara was as good as her word and was waiting for her, working at Shepard's console.

'I hope you don't mind Shepard I thought I would do some more work on tracking the Mu relay until you got here,' she looked around as she finished speaking and only then saw Shepard who was still standing just inside the door 'Goddess Shepard you look terrible what has happened' Liara moved immediately to Shepard's side and guided her to sit down on the bed.

'Ah it's ok Liara… I just need to sit down… bit of a difficult day…' Shepard tried to pull off a grin but she knew she wasn't fooling Liara. Shepard usually didn't let anyone see her with her 'guard down', exhausted, feeling the emotional impact of her decisions, her doubt, and after meeting Sovereign she could add dread to that list.

'You need more than a sit down... I am torn Shepard I think you need to get a good night's sleep, but I would also like to remain with you…' Liara once again showing her shyness and uncertainty but she also kept her arm around Shepard's shoulder.

'Please…yes Liara… I… I would like you to stay, for us to share sleep together… I know we wanted more but with everything…' it was Shepard's turn to let her words trail off.

'Hush now, it's my turn to look after you and I suspect this will be a new and difficult experience for you' Liara smiled as she began to help Shepard out of her uniform.

By the time Liara joined Shepard in bed after getting undressed her human was already fading fast into exhaustion. Liara put her arms around Shepard and held her while they both drifted into sleep marking another step change in their relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N My apologies for the delay getting this up, for some reason this chapter has proved difficult and has had several re-writes. But the next chapter is already flying off the laptop keyboard so will be with you soon. Thank you for following, there is some sexual content but not too much, although you there will be more later, particularly if Shepard has her way.

Chapter 7

Shepard blinked her eyes open as consciousness began to reassert itself. She was not alone and the memories of the previous day and night caused her to close her eyes and take a slightly deeper measured breath before turning to the still sleeping Asari next to her.

Shepard propped herself on an elbow, rested her face in her hand and took the opportunity to study Liara's face, neck and the sweep of her shoulders. They hadn't stripped naked and both remained clad in underwear but she could feel the warmth of her companions' skin and when she could resist it no more Shepard reached out her hand and let her fingers brush lightly across the Liara's cheek and then traced the line of her neck to her shoulder.

Before Shepard's fingers had even drifted down to her Asari's neck Liara's eyes flickered open and a soft smile traced itself on those full blue lips.

'Sorry but I always wake up ridiculously early, even when I'm on leave… you are more beautiful than the omega nebula viewed through a multispectral window' Shepard finished her words by leaning down and gently kissing the Asari's lips.

'Mmm,' Liara responded to the kiss, 'you will never need to say sorry whatever time you awaken me if it is accompanied by such actions and words Commander' she said with another smile.

'So tell me Doctor, would you like to get up and join me on my usual early inspection tour around the ship with a mug of mess coffee… or perhaps…' Shepard leaned down and this time kissed the top of Liara's shoulder and continued tracing kisses until she reached the Asari's neck where Shepard's kiss was altogether harder allowing her teeth to make contact.

Liara's response was immediate and physical as she sought out and met Shepard's mouth with a fury of kisses that sent shockwaves through both their bodies arousing the desire, need and excitement of the previous evening.

Shepard began removing Liara's loose fitting undershirt as Liara was trying to pull off Shepard's tee… still kissing and running hands across skin and breasts they then removed the rest of their clothing, finally no physical barriers separated their two bodies.

Shepard looked down at the Asari's body and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of such perfection, she began to trace the lines of the prominent collar bones that were never exposed by Liara's conservative choice of dressing.

Leaning on her elbow Shepard allowed her fingers to run around the edge of Liara's breasts and then lifted her hand so that it lay a hair's breadth above one of the Asari's breasts, she could feel the heat, as she lowered her hand she felt the hard nipple contact her palm.

Their physical need and desire for each other took them over completely and Shepard gave herself up to exploring and pleasing this amazing, sexy, sensual and irresistible woman who had captured her from practically the first moment they had properly laid eyes on each other.

They fitted together, their bodies were a perfect match, they found many different ways to ensure they kept as much of each other in physical contact, there was no awkwardness.

There were moments when Shepard thought her head would actually explode… like the first time she felt the heat and wetness as her fingers responded to Liara's need to feel Shepard inside her… teasing the Asari by delaying the moment until both their bodies were shaking with the pent up tension… when Shepard finally pushed her fingers into Liara they both moaned out loud experiencing even higher levels of passion coursing through their bodies… the lovemaking was not one sided as Liara surprised herself by knowing instinctively how to meet Shepard's needs.

But it was the joining that made this a very, very different experience from any Shepard had had before.

There was the physical dimension that seemed to enhance and amplify all their lovemaking and particularly orgasm.

But the joining was more, much more than just physically enhancing. Shepard tried to explain to Liara later how different it was yet how it met a deep need that must sit within all human's and perhaps all sentient beings.

Shepard explained of fleeting moments when, during intensely emotional love making, two people are so close, so connected, so focused and attuned they briefly achieve a form of one ness. The pinnacle some would say of human connection, complete immersion in each other, where the rest of the universe fades away and they are truly one… but it lasts so briefly.

This was a powerful strand of the joining, that immersion in each other, the connection, achieving a state of complete unity, truly no longer being able to tell where one ended and the other began was effortless and once established the echo of it remained.

To somehow be in each other's mind's to be each other's bodies had to be experienced rather than spoken of.

And through that connection the ability to share emotions… instead of having to use words they were able to experience the others feelings, share them, reflect them back. A new door had been created in Shepard's consciousness that could be accessed easily and smoothly and that would take her back to that place of completeness whenever she and Liara joined.

The deepest aspect of the full joining was something that Shepard had no experience of and no language that could really convey how it felt. The only way she could come close to explaining was by saying it was as if they met each others souls, it was as Liara had said it would be, a spiritual joining.

With their passion and desire sated, at least for now, and the meld fading away, they sat close to each other in bed as Shepard carefully sipped at her hot coffee and Liara nursed her Asari tea while she explained to Shepard that what they had just shared was not an ordinary Asari sexual joining or meld, that they had experienced a deep joining that usually only bondmates achieved.

'I… well… we… um… oh Goddess, this is not going to come out right' Liara had lost a little of the confidence and assurance she had found in herself during their lovemaking.

Shepard turned and looked at Liara with an amused smile on her face 'spit it out T'Soni it can't be that bad', Shepard reached out her hand and gave Liara's cheek a reassuring stroke.

'Well as I was trying to explain, we seem to have bypassed all preambles and our first joining is one that usually only comes when the couple… I mean the two… well after they have been with each other for some time and made a… some… commitment…' she trailed off and began to study her hands though she continued 'and this state can not be achieved through only one of the partners, it must be a joint…' Liara came to a full stop, still studying her hands which were clasped around the mug containing her now cold tea.

Shepard put down her own mug and took Liara's off her; she then took hold of the Asari's hands and looked steadily at Liara until the other raised her eyes to meet Shepard's.

'So if I understand you right… we skipped the whole courtship thing… the finding out whether we really liked each other… the deciding to take things to the next stage and skipped straight for… making a big connection… falling for each other? Was that about the gist of it?' Shepard's voice held more than a hint of amusement and a smile played around the edges of her mouth as she waited for Liara to respond.

'I… well I would agree with your analysis… I mean… I can not deny I have strong feelings for you Shepard, nothing was hidden during our… when we were joined' Liara was searching Shepard's face so intently Shepard could almost feel it physically.

'Ok, well the thing is… I have never had a serious relationship before Liara… I'm a soldier, I've never had the time and it didn't seem fair when I might not be a good long term bet given my line of work… but you just got right in, straight through my defences… we have something between us we both know it and we both felt it… feel it.

'Maybe its mad to even be thinking about relationships with what we are facing, we could all be killed trying to take down Saren and you've seen the warnings from the Prothean Beacons as I have… but maybe that's what is also helping us to cut to the chase… all I know is I have never felt like this before and its both amazing and awesome and as frightening as hell' Shepard finished by kissing Liara's hands which she was still holding.

'Oh Shepard you are truly wonderful' Liara reached out for her human and pulled them together into a hug that placed their hearts together, they stayed in that embrace for what seemed like an eternity.

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The Normandy made good time on its trip to the Citadel, but it was far from uneventful.

After Shepard and Liara had joined the team for breakfast the discussion turned to what next, what would their role be in the ongoing fight against Saren. The whole team agreed with Shepard that they, and the Normandy, were best placed to chase Saren down in the Terminus System to try to stop him claiming the conduit.

They moved their discussion to the comm room and Liara carried out a meld with Shepard to try to help decipher the information from the Beacon on Virmire. The vision contained more of the same nightmare but this time Shepard had already been able to understand and experience the memories in much more detail. So that individual acts of destruction and killing were etched into her own memories along with the feelings that accompanied them. Fear, loss, terror, disbelief and grief… or at least the Prothean equivalent that she could only understand in her own terms.

Shepard had been right when she identified the final part of the message to be different and with Liara's mind helping it became clear that it was an address, well a memory of a planet set within a solar system which was as good as the same thing. When Liara broke the connection she once again appeared to be dizzy both Shepard and Garrus moved to guide her to her seat.

'Are you OK Liara, I thought it would have been easier this time?' Shepard asked anxiously believing that as they had now joined these information melds would not have affected her.

'I'm afraid it is the nature of the memories… the imprint from the Beacon that is draining and overwhelming Commander. You really do have a remarkably strong mind to carry them as you do… and you mind seems clearer since receiving the cipher, it felt more natural than it did the last time… as if you were assimilating them… the memories no longer feel… well… alien to your mind' Liara was recovering but she still looked pale, pale for an Asari.

'You mean the imprint is taking over my mind?' Shepard said sounding worried and glancing quickly around to see if the others were looking at her differently.

'No, no that is not what I meant. I am sorry Shepard I put it badly, no it is as if your mind was taming the memories, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that your mind feels even more strong and powerful than it did the first time I melded with you.' Liara continued, 'but Commander I know where Saren is heading, I recognised the planet that was at the end of your vision. It is Ilos, I recognised it immediately from my study of Prothean literature.'

Shepard looked relieved that nothing was trying to control her mind and change it from the inside; she loved sharing her mind with Liara but two's company she thought.

'So how quickly do you think Saren will recognise where he needs to go' Garrus asked what was on all their lips.

'It really will depend on how much information he already possesses about the Protheans,' Liara answered.

'Yeah or how much information his big friend has from when they were here last time and wiped out the Protheans' Shepard's words were laced with disgust and anger, 'but even if we have beaten him to the punch Saren will know very shortly after I tell the Council where we are headed,' Shepard walked over to the edge of the room and leaned against the comm console and crossed her arms across her chest, a pose that everyone in the room recognised.

'Do you believe one of the Council members is working with Saren,' Tali asked the shock sounding in her voice.

'No,' it was Garrus who spoke and he looked troubled 'Shepard knows that even highly classified intelligence is available to a Spectre's, even an ex-Spectre, and I suspect that Saren has already strategically placed spies throughout Council space and particularly on the Citadel.'

Shepard nodded as Garrus spoke and said 'exactly and lets not forget Sovereigns ability to indoctrinate that Saren may well also be using to his advantage.'

'Do we need to tell them where Saren is headed, where we are going?' This time Liara voiced what some in the room were thinking.

'I'm afraid we do as we are going to need Council authority to put together a small task force of ships because we will be confronting Saren and his Geth fleet, or at least part of it. And it'll be a balancing act as we'll also need to increase the fleet defending the Citadel. No, we have no choice, but we can leave it until the very last minute when I am face to face with the Council' Shepard finished.

They carried out some further planning mainly around getting the Normandy reequipped and ready to set off after Saren as quickly as possible once they had gotten their wounded to the hospital and Shepard had met with the Council.

Before the day was finished they had the last piece of the puzzle, the location of the Mu Relay, they were ready and it only remained for Shepard to brief the Council and begin the end game of the mission.

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'What the fuck do you mean, no!' Shepard was standing in front of the Council with Udina and Anderson on either side and was completely astounded at the orders she had just received.

'I don't think it is helpful to take that tone with us Shepard' the Turian councillor's sneer reminded her too keenly of Saren in that moment and she was about to say something that even she would regret when Captain Anderson spoke out.

'But if we know where Saren is headed why won't you let Shepard complete her mission?' he asked, his anger was clear in both voice and body language.

'It is not your place to question the Council Anderson' Udina barked and in that moment Shepard would cheerfully have smacked the man in the mouth.

'I believe we will get more accomplished if we remain calm and civil,' it was Councillor Tevos who spoke, 'Shepard we can not send Council vessels into the Terminus System as it would probably cause war which we can ill afford if your predictions about Saren's attack on the Citadel are correct. We have set ships to guard the relay and have increased the number protecting the Citadel itself. We believe that Saren is now a spent force and that chasing him around the Terminus System will only cause more trouble, if what you say is true he will come to us and we will defeat his attack,' she finished.

'But Saren isn't the real threat, its Sovereign and the Reapers, we can't let Saren get whatever the conduit is and it may well be sitting on Ilos so…' Shepard was cut off by the Turian Councillor once again.

'I have heard enough of these tales of Reapers designed to frighten children and the weak willed; you have no proof other than your dreams and your willingness to accept all that Saren tells you as truth.'

Shepard was actually too angry to form words and before she could deliver the string of Turian insults and swear words that Garrus had taught her the Salarian Councillor cut in.

'Commander Shepard no one here doubts that you are sincere in your belief but Salarian intelligence have not uncovered anything to support the information that Saren is feeding you.'

'Well if you won't give me any help I'll just have to go it alone and stop Saren on Ilos with my team and the Normandy' she said.

'This is precisely why you, your crew and the Normandy are grounded. I have initiated a lock down on the Normandy until you see fit to respect the will of the Council' Udina couldn't hide his delight at finally getting the better of Shepard and it took all the willpower and self restraint she had not to head butt him in his stupid face.

'I take it I am dismissed?' she said curtly to the Council realising that there was no point in continuing the argument and she really needed to get away from Udina before her self control snapped.

'Yes Commander and perhaps we will have a more satisfactory discussion in a few days once we have more information' Councillor Tevos was being her usual diplomatic self.

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Bad news travels fast and the news that the Normandy was grounded seemed to have reached the ship even before Shepard arrived.

Shepard went straight to her cabin and decided she felt to low even to sit on the bed so slumped onto the floor, elbows resting on her knees and head firmly in her hands.. the very picture of dejection.

Liara no longer knocked to enter the cabin which had become their shared space and when she entered she only paused a moment before sitting next to Shepard on the floor and leaning sideways so that their shoulders touched.

'I can not believe they did that to you Shepard, after all you have proved to them' Liara spoke quietly but Shepard could here anger, perhaps even fury in her voice.

'Well to be fair we haven't exactly given them any concrete proof… but what the hell do they think Saren is doing, how they hell do they think he has managed to get Geth to follow him… I don't know if they are just incredibly stupid or if they have their heads buried in the sand for a reason I cant work out' Shepard was angry but she was also tired and was at a complete loss as to how to work around this roadblock.

'You are not going to allow them to stop you; you are not going to give up are you?' Liara's tone was now challenging.

'No Liara I am not going to just sit here on my arse feeling sorry for myself although I reckon I should be allowed a little pissed off time... but what would you like me to do?' Shepard was angrier than she had intended and continued turning her head to face Liara, 'I'm sorry I don't mean to be angry at you, your right to ask. We need a plan but we also need to be ready, the plan bit is feeling kinda hard at the moment so lets go with making sure we are ready to go if… when we can get away.' She smiled and was pleased to receive not only a smile but also a kiss in return.

Liara got to her feet and offered her hand to Shepard who took it and in one movement rose to her feet and pulled Liara into an embrace and as they moved slowly but deliberately together for what Shepard hoped would be a long and passionate kiss Joker voice broke the quiet of the room.

'Um sorry Commander but I have a message from Captain Anderson' Joker sounded a little wary but continued 'he would like to meet you in Flux in 30 minutes.'

'Thank you Joker' Shepard responded never once moving her eyes from her Asari's face, 'do you think he has cameras in her or does he just have lousy timing.' She smiled and they carried on where they had been interrupted, the kiss was indeed all that Shepard had hoped for.

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Before leaving for Flux Shepard gave out a flurry of orders.

All crew to return to the Normandy for some dockside drills and cleaning duties.

All supplies and particularly armaments to be re-stocked ready to help with the defence of the Citadel if called upon, well that was the cover story anyway.

Her team were to work on how to get them out from under lockdown and through the relay without any damage to Alliance, Citadel or Council forces.

Joker was to be ready with a direct route to the Mu Relay and then on to Ilos but one that would not bring them into contact with Council or Alliance forces while still in Council space.

When she arrived at Flux with Liara she found Anderson easily and sat down next to him as the noise would make having a conversation at any bigger distance impossible.

'Shepard this all stinks and I'm sorry you have been caught up in the politics, particularly between me and Udina. I'm pretty sure his dislike of you is because you remind him of me a little,' Anderson was clearly still angry.

'Well I take that as a compliment sir, but I really need to find a way of getting after Saren, the clock is ticking on the head start he has' she was worried about Anderson and hoped he hadn't called her here to drown their joint sorrows.

'I have a plan, but, you will be acting against direct orders from the Ambassador and against the wishes of the Council. If this doesn't come out right you could end up in front of a courts martial, and you crew, we would effectively be stealing the Normandy' he watched her face and she knew he was giving her a chance to back away from what was a huge decision for an Alliance officer.

'Sir, I will give my crew the opportunity to step off the Normandy if it doesn't sit well with them, but my duty to protect the Alliance, the Council and the Galaxy all press me to take whatever action I can to try to stop Saren and Sovereign who are a clear and present danger,' she sat up straight in her chair and continued 'besides if this thing goes sideways we wont be coming back for a parade or a courts martial' she grinned and the plan was set.

Walking back to the Normandy Shepard asked Liara how she would feel about being with a disgraced Alliance officer and a rogue Spectre, Liara's answer came immediately.

'I will feel exactly as I do now Shepard, honoured and blessed' and with that the Asari reached out for Shepard's hand and that is how they entered the Normandy docking bay.

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The countdown to Anderson breaking into Udina's office and releasing the Normandy was T minus 15.

Shepard had already told her team which included the two able bodied marines she had left from her squad. They all understood the decision they were making, and Shepard made it clear particularly to her marines that this was not an order, but they were solidly with her.

Unfortunately and much to both her and Kirrahe's disappointment he had been called back to the STG to give a full report and receive further medical attention, she could have used him.

Shepard had decided to speak to the crew before they broke free of their shackles and headed for Saren, disgrace and quite possibly death.

'Attention Normandy crew the Commander has an announcement to make' Joker set up the comms and turned to look at Shepard who was standing next to him in the cockpit. She had already told her pilot the plan and he was staying.

'You are all aware that Ambassador Udina has grounded the Normandy and her crew. I need to tell you that with Captain Anderson's help I will be taking the Normandy to complete our mission to stop Saren, Sovereign and the Geth.

You all need to know that we may well be classed as Alliance deserters and pirates.

I trust and respect each and every one of you and as such I must give you the choice to stay with me and embark on a mission against an enemy of overwhelming strength and risk your careers and reputations or leave the ship now.

Know that I will think no less of you if that is your choice and I will be honoured to serve with any of you in the future.

We have not completed our mission and we owe Saren and little friends some payback, make no mistake we are in this on our own and we will not stop until we prevail.' Shepard checked her watch it was now T minus 10 minutes.

'Nice Commander, especially the part where we were all screwed and not likely to get a hero's welcome even if we make it' Joker smirked as he spoke.

'Just wanted to say Joker that despite your backchat, bad jokes, lack of respect and did I mention really bad jokes… oh and your really, really bad timing,' Shepard put a hand on his shoulder briefly and continued 'you're a hell of a pilot and I'm proud to have you on my crew.'

They waited in silence as the minutes clicked away, and she wondered how many crew she had lost, if it would affect the handling of the ship, and what the hell her mother would think of her… shit this was the first moment she had given her mother a thought. This would be really hard for a Captain in the Alliance, the XO on a ship of the line… 'shit Shepard you have to either win and make this all good or die in the attempt coz there is no way I am facing my mother from inside the brig' she thought to herself.

There it was a green light, they were clear to leave.

'Take her away Joker get us through the relay ASAP' Shepard said. She waited next to her pilot until they had indeed jumped through the relay and they were free and clear.

She made her way to the CIC to get a status report and was surprised to see Pressley still at his post, she didn't know why but she thought he would have taken the opportunity to leave, they hadn't always seen eye to eye.

'Commander,' he said as she approached 'all crew members at their posts and ready to do their duty,' he snapped a salute that was echoed by all crew members who were in the CIC.

She returned it and told him to carry on; she had to admit she was touched by this obvious show of support for her and her command.

It was the same throughout the ship; every crew member she passed snapped to attention and gave her a salute.

She gave orders for the crew to get as much rest as they could on the journey to the Mu Relay, which would take around 16 hours, and she ordered her fire team to rest up as she anticipated they would have a long hard fight in front of them.

There was nothing left to do but wait.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N Sorry guys wrote this chapter in two halves in two different places ooops… so posted an incomplete chapter twice… arrrgh… this is now complete and as it should be... many thanks for your continued story following.

A/N2 Did a small proof edit there were a few things that were a bit off… sorted now.

Chapter 8

Her teeth were chattering, as if she had just been dropped into an ice bath, her jaw was clenched and she wondered if you could grind your teeth and have them chatter at the same time.

Shepard felt the reflex to cough begin to gain traction in her lungs, not her chest this time, the attempt to clear whatever was flooding her lungs was going to require a much deeper cough… it was going to hurt.

Bright side she seemed to be able to think for a little longer at a time… hold the thoughts running through her mind and begin to string them together, down side all her thoughts were about dying, being trapped and the many different varieties of pain she was feeling across her body.

Nothing that she was thinking was good. She had no idea how long she had been 'out' or 'dreaming', so no idea how long she could reasonably expect to wait until rescue… but she still couldn't remember where she was or what had happened before.

She thought maybe she was re-building her memory, she knew that her head had taken a beating, not just the crack in her helmet but the continuing searing pain… more likely her life was 'flashing before her eyes' though it didn't seem to be running through on fast forward and her eyes were not seeing anything in their current state.

'Shock' she thought 'this shivering its shock setting in… dammit on top of everything else… that's just fuckin dandy.'

Shepard was indeed shivering although she had no sensation of cold; not really, there was numbness and hot shards of agony flowing through every inch of her nervous system… but the sensation of cold was not present.

'Nnngah no no..' the reflex she couldn't stop gained momentum and as her lungs tried in vain to clear themselves the pain brought tears to her eyes, but they weren't only tears of pain, they were tears of frustration, loss, grief.

When the cough came it felt as if she was breathing and coughing glass, she felt warm liquid in her mouth, bubbles forming on her lips as a small rivulet found escape at the corners of her mouth.

'Not long now Shepard… not long' she thought and as she began to settle her mind to stop fighting for each breath, but that call… a siren's call, welled up from deep within her… she had to hold on, she hadn't finished… one more thing to do… but how could she do it here... how would she finish whatever it was she had started… and why was she still alone.

Despair and loneliness threatened to dislodge even the primacy of the pain that filled her consciousness… but as she began drifting down into the abyss she felt the touch of something in her mind. It was almost imperceptible, like a small breath of warm scented air on a still day… but it was there and it just gave her a moment's relief… and in that moment she felt herself drift up and away again; away from her prison and her torture.

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Shepard had been surprised to see Chief Williams waiting to speak to her outside her cabin after the Normandy was set on course for the Mu Relay.

'Commander I really need to speak with you' Williams was doing her best to stand ramrod straight to attention but Shepard could see the physical strain.

'What the hell are you doing here Ash did you get stranded on board, I thought you went to Huerta with the others,' Shepard stared to guide the marine towards the MedBay.

'No ma'am, well yes… I mean I did go to the hospital but I wanted to get back ASAP and once I heard that bastard Udina had put us on lockdown I just knew you would find a way out of it and I wanted to be here' by the time Ash had finished talking they were at the MedBay and Shepard called over Dr Chakwas.

'Doc what the hell is Ash doing her?' Shepard asked with more concern than anger.

'She is a marine and as stubborn as her Commander and there was absolutely nothing I could do, she is on the mend and I can allow her to do light duties but combat in any form is out. Do you hear me Chief?' Dr Chakwas address her final comments to Chief Williams who appeared to grudgingly nod.

'Commander I had to speak to you, to apologise… I was so out of order when I spoke to you after Virmire… in my defence I was pretty high and not really myself…' she broke off as Dr Chakwas chimed in from her desk.

'I can vouch for that Commander, I had to treat her for an infection which also caused some fever and slight delirium.'

'Skipper I was upset of course I was… and I stand by saying you probably got the rough end of the deal losing the LT and keeping me… but ma'am I would, will follow you into hell itself and I just want the chance to prove to you how much I regret… well everything,' she stopped and stood up once more.

'Ash, you choose to come back to the Normandy even though you were still not well enough for duty. When you found out that I was going to risk being declared a deserter and a pirate by the Alliance and the Council you stayed on board, despite what that may do to your family and your attempts to re-instate your family's good name. I think I can forgive a wounded soldier some feverish back chat,' Shepard finished and a huge wave of relief seemed to flow through the Chief and settle on her face, 'but if you ever speak to your commanding officer in those terms again you won't find me so accommodating, are we clear,' Shepard gave Ash a withering look and the Chief snapped a salute and gave a full throated aye, aye ma'am.

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Shepard spent a couple of hours with Liara in her cabin, talking, laughing, even allowing themselves to do a little 'after Saren' planning and, as Shepard put it a little 'fooling around'.

But Shepard insisted that Liara get some sleep.

'I have a couple of things to sort out then I'll come back and slip quietly in next to you, I promise' she kissed Liara and left the room before her lover could mount an argument.

Shepard called Lt Pressley and Chief Williams to the comm room and when they both arrived she got straight to the point.

'Pressley you're an outstanding navigator and good administrative officer but you're not made for combat command' it wasn't a question but she gave space for Pressley to respond.

'Thank you Commander and I agree completely.'

'Good, I will be making another officer my XO and I expect you to support and work with them in the spirit you have always exhibited towards me.'

'Yes ma'am… but we don't… you're not suggesting Lt Moreau' Pressley stammered and looked concerned.

Shepard allowed herself a small chuckle 'No indeed, Joker is a great pilot and trust him with the lives of all on board but…' she turned to Chief Williams and continued 'I am making a battlefield promotion and you will take the rank of first lieutenant Williams, you will also assume the position as my XO,' as she expected the expression on Ash's face flashed from denial, to shock, to awe and back to shock.

'But Commander…' Shepard cut her off before she could go any further.

'Can it Lieutenant you have to get up to speed double time so instead of veering towards challenging another of my command decisions' she flashed a grin at Ash to put her at ease 'you and Pressley need to put your heads together, but I need you to lead on combat command of the Normandy you will not be joining us groundside. Dismissed.'

Both officers snapped salutes which Shepard returned and she was left alone in the comm room. Shepard wanted more than anything to put a call through to her mother at that moment but it would be reckless and unfair to drag the Captain into a mess that was of Shepard's own making. 'I really hope I get a chance to make all this right mum' she said to herself and then went back to her cabin to get at least a couple of hours rest before they hit the Mu Relay.

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Shepard asked Ash to join her in the cockpit in time for the approach to the Mu Relay, they were few minutes out.

'Joker you are going to need to be on your toes when we jump out the other end, I fully expect Saren to have left a little welcome party and I would really rather not alert them to our presence… oh and not run straight into them either,' she finished.

'Understood Commander… just so we're clear... I probably would have tried to keep stealthy and not crash the ship anyway… just saying' Joker smirked up at Shepard and she returned his grin.

Shepard's prediction had been correct there were two Geth ships waiting at the Relay and she was glad once again to have a pilot who was as skilful as his boast.

'ETA Ilos fifteen minutes Commander' he said looking fully pleased with himself.

'OK, now I have something I need both of you to do and this is an order. There will be no discussion on this; I want an affirmative from you both when you know what it is.' Shepard paused for them to take in what she had said and then continued.

'If I don't make it back from the surface or you have confirmation I have been killed,' Shepard raised her hand as both appeared to be on the point of challenging her, 'I have no intention of dying, I have every intention of killing that tormented son of a bitch with my bare hands, but that's beside the point.

'You are to head straight for the fifth fleet and report to Admiral Hackett. I've left a full signed statement in my quarter in which I take complete and absolute responsibility for the actions of all Alliance personnel on the Normandy. I state clearly that I gave the crew no choice in following my orders; but that I am a skilled persuader and everyone may have thought I was offering them a choice. You will both support that statement and do everything you can to help Admiral Hackett to keep this incident off everyone's jacket. Do I make myself clear?' she was steely and fully in command, no one would disagree with her.

'I have never used all that nonsense about my being hero and I think you all know I hate it as I did not at any time accomplish anything on my own. My orders and actions cost the lives of many good women and men of the Alliance and not a few civilians who were in my care. But on this occasion I have, for the first time, explicitly asked that my record be taken into account to protect my crew. I need your confirmation that we will not have any Spartacus moments?' Shepard was once again surprised to see that Ash understood her reference; they both saw the blank look on Joker's face and Ash said she would explain later.

They both nodded in agreement and Shepard headed for the CIC and to check on the final preparations.

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The Normandy was approaching Ilos and Shepard was once again in the cockpit standing next to Joker, Ash was sitting in the co-pilot seat, Tali at a console off to one side with Liara and Garrus standing by the entrance.

As expected Saren had beaten them to the plant and his Geth fleet were in attendance, but no sign of Sovereign. Shepard didn't know whether she was disappointed or relieved.

The Normandy's stealth systems guaranteed they would not be spotted, but they still approached slowly, moving through the Geth to get into low altitude so they could run some scans.

'Looks like a lot of activity centred on a cluster of ruins Commander' Tali said 'and we have two Geth drop ships returning from the surface. My guess is we are not very far behind the landing,' she finished.

'Scans just completed and we have a topographical map Commander, looks as if the main landing party are heading for one place, an underground entrance of some sort' Pressley came through on the comms from the CIC.

'OK then that's where we need to be, Joker how close can you get the Mako' Shepard asked.

'The other side of the taller building, wouldn't be too far, but its right in the middle of a group of Geth that seem to be digging in Commander' Joker answered.

'Well drop us on this side of the building that will give us a few moments of cover to get our bearings,' she said and continued 'fire team with me lets head for the Mako. She's all yours Lieutenant take good care of her.'

'Aye, aye Commander' Ash responded with a nod.

Once they were all secured in the Mako they didn't have long to wait, Joker dropped them with pin point accuracy and as soon as the Mako had pulled up to a stop their agreed combat plan was put into action.

Shepard had ensured all weapons had enhanced scanning mods as the Geth would be jamming all frequencies.

For heavy weapons she had also equipped Garrus and Wrex with heat seeking missile launchers, they were limited to ten missiles each but that would take down quite a few heavies with a bit of coordination. She and Liara were equipped with rapid fire grenade launchers.

The plan on hitting groundside was for her two remaining marines, Stevens and Brewster to stay in the Mako making use of the heavy turret and cannon; Tali would remain in the Mako and carry out hacking and damping.

The rest of them would fan out from the armoured vehicle and work as a team to take down larger Geth targets, dropping any troopers, hoppers and rocket troopers with their assault rifles and shotguns equipped with disrupter ammo.

With their enhanced scanning mods and Tali's damping field they could at least 'see' Geth targets that were within the immediate vicinity and honed in on two Armatures that appeared to be sitting guard on their route to the underground entrance that was their destination.

The Mako had to keep moving as it was vulnerable to the Armatures but Shepard's team found cover and sent three waves of missiles at each of the Geth heavies before they could get more than one round off at the Mako from their pulse cannons.

Shepard and Liara focussed on the foot soldiers that accompanied the Armatures using both grenades and biotics to take down nearly half a platoon with the Mako doing its fair share of damage.

Once the Armatures were destroyed and the rest of the ground troops supporting them taken out the Mako moved forward with Shepard and her team walking in its wake using it for cover while Tali was working hard to clean up the continued jamming to give them early 'eyes' on nearby hostiles.

'Commander' Tali's voice came over the comm in Shepard's helmet 'I don't believe this is Geth jamming, the signature is different and it is interfering not only with our comms to the Normandy but also Geth comms to their ships.'

'So chances are the Geth are as blind as we are and they won't be calling in reinforcements?' Shepard asked hoping the answer would come in the affirmative.

'They are certainly as jammed as we are' Tali replied.

'No guarantee they won't drop more shit on our heads though' Wrex's deep rumbling voice held a hint of a laugh, he was hoping for more action.

They made steady progress at walking pace and dispatched another group of Geth troopers but then ran into some serious trouble as Tali raised the warning of a Geth prime and two Geth destroyers standing guard on the doors to the underground entrance.

Shepard stopped the Mako and moved her squad forward on foot, Tali now joining them. She deployed her team to the right and left of the entrance with Wrex, Tali and Liara making up one team, Shepard and Garrus the other. They found high ground on the ruined and overgrown buildings which meant they could get fairly close and had the advantage of both crossfire and cover.

On the given signal Tali would hack on of the destroyers while Wrex and Garrus would use their remaining missiles on the prime, Liara would also focus on the prime with biotics and Shepard concentrating fire on the un-hacked destroyer. They would switch firepower to another target once their own was taken out. The Mako would begin a run in once they had engaged the deathly trio and hopefully get in close enough to hit the prime with the cannon while it was distracted.

Shepard counted them in over the comms and on the 'go' all hell broke loose with the earth and ear shattering sound of missile explosions, pulse cannon and shotgun from the Geth and the fire team, the sound of the assault rifle lost amongst the louder weapons.. Tali did a semi successful hack of one of the destroyers which didn't exactly attack the prime but was so disoriented that it just stumbled around not firing at anything, which was a result as far as Shepard was concerned.

Both destroyers were down and only the prime remained, the Mako had just made it within range and the prime was going down fast but its last cannon shot found its mark and hit the ruins where Wrex, Tali and Liara were located bringing it crashing down.

Shepard was so enraged that it had hit half her squad not to mention Liara that she moved out from her cover and stood like a sentinel on the top of the ruin that had previously been her shelter and sent a hail of ordnance at the now very damaged Geth she didn't stop and Garrus also stood and joined in the stream of non-stop assault rifle fire. A final shot from the Mako finished it off and once it was down Shepard and Garrus rushed to where the rest of their team had been thrown by the blast.

Wrex was already on his feet and moving debris off the body of a very crumpled looking Quarian, Liara was sitting up with her helmeted head in hands clearly shaken. But it was Tali that Shepard moved towards first while saying 'Liara sitrep, are you injured?

'No Commander… I do not think so… just winded… see to Tali,' Liara said also looking across at Tali who was still laying lifeless on the ground.

'Wrex are you OK?' Shepard asked as she helped him to clear the remaining stones and began checking life signs with her OT.

'Ha,' he barked 'did I ever tell you about the time an entire building fell on me?'

'Try the Normandy again Garrus, she's out cold and it doesn't look good, looks like she has damage to her armour and her enviro suit has been breached… let's get her into the Mako… Liara get as much medigel as you can into her and then try to seal up the armour… secure her at the rear of the Mako... we are…' Shepard's words were cut short by a comm call from the Mako which was now parked close to the doors that they still had to open.

'Commander we have more incoming, slow moving but coming our way, looks like Geth troopers but also at least two heavies of some description.'

'Still can't get through to the Normandy Shepard' Garrus updated her.

'Right, Brewster on the Mako guns, but keep the vehicle facing towards the door… Wrex up to the position that Garrus and I had… Garrus take cover down here if it gets too hot fall back behind the Mako… Liara you're with me' as Shepard was speaking they were carrying Tali into the Mako and taking up positions as allocated.

Shepard and Liara moved towards the doors to the underground complex and saw the security station on the left that Saren had obviously used to access their controls. The exterior doors had been blown off, no easy task and it must have held him up for some time.

As they moved into the even deeper darkness of the interior Shepard and Liara took positions mirroring each other, hugging the side wall of the corridor, in a slight crouch and scanning left, right, up and down with their weapons, Shepard using her trusty Mattock and Liara her Pinnacle pistol (a present from Shepard).

Shepard allowed her mind the split seconds to smile to herself that Liara was becoming quite the soldier and that her basic Asari commando training, that had obviously kept her safe on those lone dig's, was melding with the marine way of doing things and creating an effective and deadly mix.

At the end of the corridor the room opened up and they could see that the far end of the room was the most likely place for consoles and controls, but they had to get there. Again Saren had cleared out what looked like two rows of security turrets that had obviously activated, even after all this time, given the scorch marks and destroyed Geth.

However, in their place he had left a couple of troopers and a destroyer.

Shepard moved across and joined Liara, signalling that she stay behind her. They didn't have enough firepower to make creating cross fire worth the risk. Much better they stick together and take the enemy down one at a time.

They quietly hugged the left hand wall and moved so that they were just parallel with the Geth squad, who seemed to be in 'off' mode. But Shepard wasn't going to have them between her and the exit if they decided not to remain 'off' she communicated her plan to Liara.

Shepard would hack the destroyer to confuse and slow it, she was not a patch of Tali but Alliance hacking and damping tech was a major asset and all marines could do the basics. Shepard was much more expert as she had, after all, started taking training from before she understood what everyone was talking about. Liara would target first one trooper and then the next as would Shepard; they would use a combination of biotics and Shepard's assault rifle and disruptor ammo. Then they would then change their position and focus on the destroyer.

Counting them in Shepard allowed herself a moment to lock her eyes with Liara's and felt the familiar jolt in her body as a smile flashed across both their mouths almost in unison.

The troopers went down fairly quickly but the destroyer was more of a pain. The hack worked but the destroyer was still fast enough to fire shots that came very close to taking Shepard's head off. She ordered Liara to move slowly to the top of the room and start working on finding a way to unlock the access door while Shepard drew the thing towards her and by using cover managed to get another hack in to drop its shields dealing more damage with her rifle and in the end allowing her to get in close enough to use a sticky grenade.

Shepard could stand it no longer and removed her helmet, and she made her way to join Liara, who had also removed her helmet, at the consoles.

Once she knew Shepard was safe and immediate danger dispatched Liara was giving herself a chance to marvel at the ruins which had only been ravaged by time. When Shepard joined her she couldn't help dropping into archaeologist speech and tell her human companion how unique and amazing the design within the room its construction and talked about returning with a full team to fully explore the whole of this fascinating Prothean site.

'Ah you used to find me fascinating and worthy of study, now I'm replaced by a bunch of old ruins' Shepard said in mock sad tones.

Liara playfully pushed Shepard in the shoulder and moved in close so that they could feel each other's breath on their faces and said 'you will never lose your fascination for me Shepard I will study you for eternity' Liara cupped Shepard's face and kissed her deeply on the lips. Shepard used the hand not holding her rifle to pull the Asari to her.

When they broke apart they moved straight back to business and as Shepard walked past an interface set into the consoles it jumped to life and a broken, patchy, glitchy miniature body that was very difficult to make out was speaking.

It was difficult to make out whole sentences but she could pick out words and short phrases like ' our time ending' 'devastation' 'hide' 'keep secure' 'reapers' 'then end of civilisation'.

'It sounds like a warning signal' Shepard said turning to Liara who then stared back at her almost open mouthed.

'You… you can understand… Shepard that was not a modern galactic language, my guess is that it was Prothean' she said her look changing to puzzled.

'What… how could I… Liara are you sure… I'm even struggling to learn Asari how the fuck can I just suddenly know Prothean' and Shepard stared at the still speaking VI.

'Perhaps the effects of the Beacons and the Cipher… it' but Liara's words were cut by Garrus's voice over the comms.

'Shepard are you two OK in there we heard some explosions and knew it had to be you?' Garrus was trying to keep it light but he sounded worried.

'Yep all good Garrus, what's your situation?' Shepard replied lightly.

'We have company but we are taking them out, dropped the two Armatures and now dealing with troopers' he finished.

'Copy that' Shepard looked at Liara who was working deftly at one of the consoles and a smile flashed across her face.

'That is it Commander, it should now be open.'

'Garrus is the door the underground complex open' she asked over the comm.

'Affirmative Shepard we are good to go.'

'Outstanding, Wrex, Garrus hit the Mako… Garrus you drive, Wrex on the guns' Shepard said as she and Liara ran towards the exit and the Mako.

Once inside Shepard ordered them to make all speed and smash through anything in their way, she moved to the back of the vehicle where Tali was still lifeless and spoke to Stevens who was the closest thing they had to a medic and who was tending to Tali as best he could.

'I have sedated her Commander, we pumped in medigel and sealed the breach in the armour but the infection will already be in there and I think she had either broken or crushed bones in her leg. I don't believe she took a direct hit from the plasma cannon, that would have taken half her body off, but some kind of ricochet maybe. Hard to tell,' he finished looking down at his charge.

'Well we can't call the Normandy for a pick up… but even if we could… we have to prioritise the mission,' Shepard said with an edge of sadness but with her full command commitment sounding through. 'So we have a really good reason to finish that bastard in double quick time… actually we have a galaxy full but let's just focus on the one in front of us for now.'

Everyone in the Mako gave a quick look at their fallen comrade and a renewed resolve settled on all inside the vehicle as Garrus gunned the engine into life and headed straight into the underground complex and whatever little surprised Saren had left in their way.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

They didn't have to wait long to run into some Geth interference, but Shepard's orders were clear, take as many out with the guns and run over or skirt around the rest. The Mako was also maxing out its shield's and getting a little help when taking fire from Liara and Wrex's biotics.

Liara marvelled at the facility and they all wondered about the now dormant stasis pods that lined the upper levels, 'there are hundreds of them,' Liara said leaving the question of how they came to be there and why they had failed.

'Never get me in one of those I'd rather die fighting' Wrex grumbled.

'What in the name of all things holy is that?' Shepard was looking intently at the console display and its analysis of what looked like a biotic barrier across their path.

'That is not like any Geth tech I've seen before,' said Garrus and now they were joined by Liara and Brewster who both looked through the Mako front windscreen and down to the scanner to see what it was made of.

'Whoever it belongs to it is a strong biotic barrier so perhaps we should not drive straight into it,' Liara's concerned voice seemed to break the almost hypnotic fascination both Shepard and Garrus had developed for the fast approaching barrier.

'Yeah good idea, but Wrex throw a few cannon shots at it and lets see what happens,' Shepard called over her shoulder.

'Ha,' Wrex barked one of his laughs 'are you sure you're not part Krogan Shepard, if in doubt shoot a big gun at it' he carried on with a deep rumbling laugh as he fired the cannon several times but to no effect.

'No Wrex from what I've heard it's also a very human trait to shoot first and ask questions later,' Garrus said with a twitch of his mandibles and a smile in his voice.

They had come to a full stop just in front of the barrier and at the same moment another barrier dropped behind them.

'Liara, Wrex, Brewster your with me,' Shepard said as she was already making her way to the side door of the vehicle, 'Garrus if the barriers lift and you have incoming, keep out of their way and come back for us when its clear, unless you can take them out.'

They circled around the Mako and saw the only option for exploration, a lift door set into the wall.

'Looks like someone wants us to visit,' Wrex said as they walked over to the door and Shepard got it open.

'Well they better have a very good reason for holding us up… or they're gonna regret inviting us to tea' Shepard growled.

The lift seemed to drop them a couple of levels and when the doors opened it was onto a fairly narrow walkway with rock face either side. Set at the end of the walkway they could see a console and a virtual interface that was projecting something that looked like an abstract screensaver.

'You are not Prothean but you are not machine either, this eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warnings through the beacons.'

'Sounds like some kind of VI but badly degraded' Wrex said.

'I do not sense the taint of indoctrination upon any of you unlike the one who passed recently,' the programme continued 'perhaps there is still hope.'

'Shepard I can understand the programme I do not believe it is speaking Prothean' Liara said and Wrex added a grunt of agreement.

'I have been monitoring your communications since you entered this facility and I have translated my output into a format you will comprehend. My name is Vigil you are safe here for the moment but that is likely to change. Soon nowhere will be safe.'

'Yeah well that isn't exactly news to us,' Shepard sounded a little pissed and continued 'but lets get one thing cleared up. When you talked about another passing by who was indoctrinated did you invite them down here?'

'No I would not make myself known to an indoctrinated traitor. I am an advanced non organic analysis system with personality imprints from Ksad Ishan chief overseer of the Ilos research facility.'

'Well could you get to the part where you give me something useful ASAP coz the bad guy has a bit of a head start on us,' Shepard was trying to keep a lid on her anger but she wasn't in the mood to play diplomat right now.

'You must stop a cycle that has continued for millions of years. But to stop it you must understand or you will make the same mistakes we did. The Citadel is the seat of government, as it was with us and every civilisation that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap; the station is actually an enormous mass relay, one that links to dark space the empty void beyond the Galaxy's horizon. When the Citadel relay is activated the Reapers will pour through and all you know will be destroyed.'

'So how come all those clever scientists on the Citadel never noticed it was a mass relay,' Wrex almost spat the words out.

'The Reapers are careful to keep the greatest secret of the Citadel hidden. That is why they created a species of seemingly benign organic caretakers. The keepers maintain the most basic functions. They enable any species to use the Citadel without fully understanding the technology. This reliance on the keepers ensures that no species will ever discover the Citadels true nature, not until the relay is activated and the Reapers invade.'

'How do the Reapers survive out in dark space?' Shepard needed to know as much as possible about her enemy, knowledge could lead to weak points, and they needed any advantage they could get.

'We have only theories, but our researchers believe they enter prolonged states of inactivity to conserve energy this allows them to survive the thousands and thousands of years it takes for organic civilisations to rebuild itself. But in this state they are vulnerable and so by retreating beyond the edges of the Galaxy they ensure no one will accidentally discover them. This way they keep their existence hidden.'

'Goddess the Reapers will be able to wipe out the Council and the Citadel fleet in a single surprise attack,' the shock in LIara's voice was palpable.

'That was our fate, our leaders were dead before we even realised we were under attack. They seized control of the mass relay network, communications and transportation crippled. Each star system was cut off, isolated and easy prey for the Reaper fleets. Over the next decades the Reapers systematically obliterated our people, world by world, system by system they methodically wiped us out.'

'Yes well thanks to coming into contact with a couple of your beacons I don't have to imagine what happened I already have the memories in my head,' Shepard's voice gave no indication of just how much it cost her to keep her head straight carrying the knowledge and the weight of it.

Vigil went on to tell them how the Reapers had access, through the Citadel, to all Prothean records, maps, census data which they used to progress across the Galaxy; destroying some worlds and harvesting others to use the indoctrinated slaves as weapons or to infiltrate still fighting or resisting worlds as refugees. After a few centuries it was over and all resources, technology, anything of value had been stripped. Once they were certain all advanced organic life had been extinguished they retreated back into dark space. All evidence of the Reapers, only the indoctrinated slaves remained mindless husks incapable of independent thought.

When Liara asked as to why the Reapers had started and continued this cycle Vigil answered that the Protheans had not given much thought as to why the Reapers carried out the cycle every 50,000 years and Shepard agreed completely with Vigil that it didn't matter what their motivation was they just had to be destroyed.

'Interesting though this is I need to know why you brought us here,' Shepard once again allowing her impatience to show in her tone.

'The Conduit is the key, before the Reapers attacked we Protheans were on the cusp of unlocking the secrets of mass relay technology. Ilos was a top secret facility and the researchers worked to create a small scale version of a mass relay linked directly to the Citadel, the hub of the relay network.'

'Conduit is not a weapon it is a back door onto the Citadel this is bad Shepard,' Liara voiced the fears that were gripping them all.

'Look we have to stop Saren so could we cut to the chase here,' Shepard was finally losing her patience she could almost feel the seconds slipping away.

'The one you call Saren has not reached the Conduit yet, but you need the information that I have and the data programme you will find in my console to enable you to regain control of the Citadel. I will initiate my beacon transmission protocol to facilitate the knowledge transfer.'

And before anyone had time to register what Vigil had said or what was happening the VI interface re-configured into something that looked like a miniature version of the beacon on Eden Prime and as it flashed into life so it pulled Shepard into its grabbed her off her feet and held her and she felt the familiar pain in her head.

Weapons drawn and angry demands for Vigil to stop what it was doing from the rest of her team had no effect; she was only released once the transfer was complete, once again Shepard found herself crashing to her knees in front of a Prothean beacon.

'I am getting pretty fucking pissed off at that happening,' she said as she was helped to her feet by Liara and Brewster, 'grab that OSD from the VI console and lets get the fuck going… and Vigil stop jamming our comms I need to contact my ship.'

'If that is what you require,' Vigil answered.

'You bet your Prothean programmed arse that's what I require' she threw the comment over her shoulder and she led her team at a pace back to the door of the elevator.

'Are you alright Shepard?' Liara asked concern clear on her face but also unable to keep the angry edge from her voice.

'Yeah I'm ok… arrogant lot you're Protheans,' she smiled at Liara and then spoke into her OT 'Joker, Normandy do you copy?'

'Loud and clear Commander, don't know what's happening down there but up here we are all alone, the Geth ships hauled out around 10 minutes ago,' Joker's voice was businesslike but his relief was clear, they had been out of comms connection since dropping onto the planet.

'OK, put me through to Ash,' Shepard and the team were now exiting the lift and moving quickly towards the Mako.

'Here skipper.'

'The Conduit is a mass relay that will take Saren and the Geth he has with him directly into the Citadel, his intention is to seize control and hand it over to Sovereign who will then activate it. Once that happens the massed army of Reapers will pour through from dark space and it will be goodnight to everything,' Shepard paused as they settled back into the Mako and headed off at full speed.

'Sovereign and the Geth fleet are headed for the Citadel,' Shepard was filling in the blanks from her own analysis and the information that Vigil had 'uploaded', 'your orders are to make all haste to Admiral Hackett and the fifth fleet and impress upon him the need to immediately redeploy to the Citadel to support the Citadel fleet against the Geth and Sovereign.'

'Aye, aye Commander,' Ash continued, 'but what if he doesn't feel inclined to believe a rogue officer?'

'Tell him the request is coming from an Alliance officer doing her sworn duty to protect the Alliance and a Council Spectre, who is making an official request on behalf of the Council,' Shepard answered 'you will do what it takes to convince the Admiral marine that is an order.'

'Consider it done ma'am' Shepard could almost feel the salute and jump to attention in Ash's voice.

'Good luck Lieutenant, Shepard out' she then turned her attention to the problems that were on the ground and that may impede their dash to the Conduit.

It wasn't long before they started to hit bigger and more coordinated Geth 'roadblocks' and despite the nausea and crippling pain in her head Shepard took control of the cannon via the targeting interface and left the co-axial machine gun to Wrex.

Garrus was also pulling some fine driving moves at times running the Mako along the lower edges of the walls to skirt around heavies and to avoid plasma cannon fire, he tried to use the lift jets more sparingly as they did slow momentum and all in the Mako wanted to be moving as fast as possible.

'How's Tali?' Shepard called over her shoulder during one of the lulls in fighting.

'Not doing too well Commander, her pulse is weak and thready, she has a temperature and although she is not losing any more blood she lost a lot during the first few minutes' Stevens sounded worried and had not left Tali's side throughout the journey.

'How long is this dammed road' Garrus hit the steering wheel his frustration also clear in his tone of voice.

'Looks like the relay up ahead' Wrex shouted down and all eyes looked through the front windscreen or the viewing console.

'Buckle up people… that thing is off the ground and shit knows where we are going to drop out,' Shepard shouted 'foot down Garrus go around those two heavies we don't want them slowing us down… hold tight.'

The Mako made its run up the final stretch of roadway towards what looked like an exact miniature replica of a mass relay; it was still lit so Saren couldn't be too far ahead. They shot up one of the Armatures on the way through and a handful of Geth but Garrus ran the Mako across the ground to cut the last corner's dodging the ordinance coming at them from several Geth heavies.

Then they were caught in the relay's field and it was a very different experience than they were used to in a ship. The Mako was thrown around and buffeted by the powerful mass effect and its passengers rattled around like dried beans in a tin can, their harnesses straining as strong forces pulled in every direction.

Just when Shepard thought that her head could stand the increased pain any longer they flew out the other end of the conduit. The Mako ended its short flight through the air by nose diving into the ground and only came to stop after bouncing on its side a few times ending up completely on its roof. The bonus to its dramatic arrival was that it managed to crush a handful of Geth who were obviously meant to be guarding the relay.

'Sound out,' Shepard shouted even before the Mako had finished its final slide and as she unstrapped herself careful not to 'fall' onto the roof.

She received a variety of 'good to go' 'charlie mike' and 'ten four'. As everyone was unlocking themselves from harnesses and finding their feet Shepard was doing a quick external check, then turned to her team.

'Brewster and Stevens you will get Tali to Huerta Hospital if that location is unsecure find another medical facility keep me updated on your progress, you will stay with her to ensure her safety until relived by my orders do you hear me marines?' Shepard had no doubt they would carry out her orders by the letter and in the spirit, Tali was as much a squad member as any other jarhead had been on the mission.

'Five by boss' Brewster said quickly followed by Stevens 'loud and clear.'

'Garrus you will exit the vehicle with me first we will sweep and take cover, Wrex and Liara next; we will secure the immediate area' Shepard flashed a look at her team and then to her two marines 'you cover from the door until I clear you to charlie mike. Everyone stay frosty.'

On her command they opened the door of the Mako and both she and Garrus exited quick and low, broking left and right scoping around and checking HUD displays. Once they had moved some way from the vehicle Shepard called the rest of her team out who again broke left and right but this time circled around to the either end of the Mako to sweep and check to the rear of their position giving full 360 eyes on.

'We have hostiles coming in front and centre, look like husks' Shepard called 'Wrex and Liara check further behind we'll take care of the incoming.'

Between Shepard, Garrus and the two marines in the doorway of the Mako they took down the ten or so husks in under ten seconds. When they were clear Shepard gave the marines the go and they moved quickly and efficiently with Tali strapped to field stretcher. Shepard noticed Garrus's look linger as the marines made good speed away from the Mako towards the stairs that would take them in the most direct route to the hospital.

Shepard would have liked to give them a free pair of hands for protection but she couldn't spare anyone and she was confident they would either deal with or avoid anything that would compromise their primary mission, to get Tali medical aid.

Liara moved towards one of the Avina information points that was flickering and distorted but still making emergency evacuation announcements.

'What is the status of the station' she asked the team including Shepard took defensive positions around Liara while she tried to gain them some intel.

'We have lost all primary power to the level, environmental controls are not responding. Class three fires are burning in sectors 2, 3, 6 and 7. Civilian casualties are high.' Avina replied 'I am also detecting numerous unauthorised synthetic forms throughout the station. They are believed to be hostile. Please approach with caution.'

'Nice to know the emergency messages of dire destruction are delivered in the usual understated Council way' Shepard didn't mean for her comment to sound quite as terse as it had but her head was still on fire and the day was unlikely to be getting better anytime soon. Liara placed a comforting hand on the human's shoulder and Shepard leaned her head in to touch the arm as a show of thanks for the comfort.

'What happened to the Council?' Shepard asked from her position shielding Liara's back.

'In accordance with standard emergency procedures the Council has been evacuated to the Destiny Ascension' came the answer with the holographic interface still carrying out random body, head and hand movements.

'Where is Saren?' This time Garrus asked the question that was next on Shepard's lips.

'Former Spectre agent Saren Arterius is nearing the vicinity of the Council Chamber. A warrant has been issued for his arrest, although Citadel Security is unable to respond at this time.'

'Do you think I should execute the warrant before or after we send his miserable ass to whatever hell has been reserved for that murdering son of a bitch.' This time Shepard did not try to disguise the anger and venom that she was feeling nor was she concerned that she had just told her team that they would not be trying to take Saren alive… but that wouldn't come as a surprise.

'Let's move out, looks like we are heading to the Presidium tower and the Council Chamber' Shepard began to move swiftly towards the tower elevator. The others followed and they formed up into two sticks, with Shepard in front and Garrus on her six, Wrex in front and Liara on his. Once in the elevator they were dumfounded to hear the muzak still playing despite the emergency siren's wailing. Before they had travelled more than a couple of floors the machine stopped.

'Shit looks like Saren has gained access to the controls it has to be him that's stopped the elevator' Garrus spoke but it was already clear to Shepard that was indeed the situation.

'Buckle up we are going outside for a walk people' Shepard said as she put on and locked her helmet and set the suit's VI to auto for environmental control.

They were all wearing hard/heavy armour which had the functionality of pressurising to protect against any 'external' situation including space exposure and emergency oxygen supplies with on-board re-breathers which would give them at least two hours of breathable air before they would be in trouble. Having started the mission heading for a green planet they had not equipped their suits with full oxygen/air equipment but Shepard knew they only needed to get to the top of the tower at which point they would re-enter the Citadel itself.

Wrex fired a couple of shotgun blasts to break the glass and they moved out onto the exterior of the elevator the magloks on their boots securing their footholds. It took a few moments for Shepard to regain control over the nausea and vertigo which was only present because of her head pain, the change of perspective from sticking out at right angles to 'standing' on their new 'floor' took only a fraction of a second.

'Arms are shut we better get a move on Shepard' Wrex's gravelly voice sounded over the suit comms.

They moved off at a trot alongside the exterior of the elevator, the shaft of which was encased in clear thermoplastic, but what caught all their eyes far away in the distance high above the presidium tower itself was a dark and ominous shape… Sovereign had already docked with the Citadel… they were running out of time.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

They had hardly moved a dozen paces before a crashing sound further in front alerted them to Geth smashing into their path. The gangway they were walking on was narrow allowing Shepard's team to stand only two abreast and in that moment she thanked the hours of training they had done to integrate her multi military (and none) team. In a fire fight or times of high battle stress there was no time to think, orders given needed to be reacted to using muscle memory, sometimes mi li seconds made the difference between living and dying.

'Box' Shepard shouted almost before the first Geth had found their feet in front of them. On cue Liara and Shepard dropped to their knees where they had been in front of Wrex and Garrus to give a line of sight for the 'back row'. Liara immediately put up a defensive bubble to offer some protection as there was no other cover.

The Geth squad was made up of four shock troops and three rocket troopers and these were the first target of the wall of fire emanating from Shepard, Wrex and Garrus. Once the rocket troopers were dealt with they started on the remaining troops, a couple had already taken damage, and as the machine chatter and digital squeaks faded, the final head torch dimmed Shepard and the team began moving forward again.

Shepard looked to her left and caught Liara's eye and through the face plates of their helmets exchanged a short but intense look and for a brief moment there was nothing else in the universe but Liara's deep, soulful, playful blue eyes. The thought of anything happening to Liara, or losing her Asari flashed through her like a cold shockwave, it wasn't a new thought or feeling but its intensity in that moment actually did shock Shepard.

Shepard shook it off and brought her full concentration to the moment; in combat a passing thought that dimmed your concentration was as dangerous as a stray ribbon of plasma.

They soon emerged onto the outer exposed surface of the tower which gave a much clearer view of the now enclosed Citadel.

'Geth drop ship coming down the tube' Garrus pointed his gun towards a shape that was very familiar and growing ever larger as it approached down what now looked like some glittering tunnel.

Shepard gave a quick check around to the team and was struck by the reflection in all their face plates, which she realised, would be reflected in her own. The lights of the Citadel, still shimmering on the now closed arms, and the flashing electric lightening flickering across the dark brooding bulk that was Sovereign.

'There are some AA guns just further along but the HUD is showing multiple Geth on the ground, lets move it and get those guns targeting the dropship, we could do without any more interference' Shepard said. Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered how she knew about the AA guns.

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Once fully in combat mode Shepard operated on a different level and she was fully in combat mode. They were pinned down by Geth, the dropship was getting closer and they still hadn't reached the AA guns to carry out a manual override. And their path to Saren was through the Geth there was no alternative route.

'Garrus we have to get those guns online' she shouted across 'can you take out that fucking rocket head with a long range shot?' It was terrain as much as anything that was causing problems and one rocket trooper had managed to get itself in a position that was all but unassailable and it was pretty much holding them were they were all by itself.

Shepard was just to far to the right in her 'compartment', deep square indentations that afforded great cover but great cover to the enemy as well, to be able to make the shot.

Liara was somewhere behind them, and too far back to help with biotics, and Wrex was with Shepard. It was fucked up, they were at a full tactical disadvantage, once that rocket trooper was down they were just going to have to make a break for it and get to the guns.

'Once Garrus has taken out the target everyone move to the left and move forward at pace, keep low keep covering fire to the right as you go but keep moving, we will be exposed and we can't afford the time to fight compartment to compartment, we have to get to Saren' she said into their comms 'are we clear?' Shepard received affirmatives from her team and braced herself.

They increased the rate of fire to try to give Garrus just a little more cover to take the shot but he would have to keep his head in the line of fire long enough to be ready when the target popped out of cover and be steady enough to take the shot in the time he had. Not an easy task or an easy shot even from where he was.

Over her comms she heard Garrus grunt and cough but she also heard the call 'target down Shepard'.

'Move' she yelled and made straight for Garrus's position.

She could feel her shields taking hits and the heat of fire flashing past her, the alarm on her barriers was beginning to bleep ominously but they would hold they had to; she had a job to finish.

On reaching Garrus she confirmed what she thought had happened; he had taken two shots and was not doing well, no time to check they had to move.

'Do they really not train you guys to duck' she said trying to lighten the tension as she hauled him to his feet and out of the compartment he had been slumped in. Wrex had reached her side and now took position in front of her and the still doubled over Garrus throwing all he had in terms of firepower and biotics at the nearest Geth.

Liara had reached them and was able to throw a defensive bubble around them and with that Shepard lifted Garrus over her shoulder and shouted to the others to move forward to the guns.

Once at the gun emplacement they finally had decent cover and a height drop on the Geth who were now behind them but still approaching.

'Wrex get those guns up and targeting that ship' her eyes focussed on the now eye wateringly close monster that was about to unleash more shit on their heads.

'Garrus sit rep?' she said as she was checking to see what the damage was and it looked as if he had taken a hit to the head and shoulder.

'Oh just winded Shepard, but I may be leaking air so if we could get inside soon… lovely though this walk has been…' she saw the slight twitch of his mandibles and knew he was seriously hurt.

'Well you just sit there and catch your breath you lazy bastard and let us finish the job for you' she kept it light but they both knew it was battlefield humour.

The AA guns sparked to life as Wrex turned back and looked down at Garrus then to her, she shook her head and mouthed 'not good' at him, she didn't need to say anything to Liara who was making adjustments to Garrus's auto medigel infusers.

'Right lets finish off this little group of Geth I really don't want them dogging our footsteps then we can get back inside the tower from that entrance way' she pointed off to the left, 'Liara I need as much firepower and biotics to clear this lot out double quick.'

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Shepard once more lifted Garrus across her shoulders and with Wrex taking the lead LIara watching their six, her own assault rifle ready in her right hand, they moved forward and finally gained interior access to the tower. The Geth dropship had crashed causing multiple damage and some of the ground Geth had also been caught in the blast. Shepard hoped that they had lost their actual pursuers and now it would be dumb luck to 'bump' into any more trouble.

They came to a stop in a corridor that would lead them to the main square that held the Council chamber and where at that moment Saren was working to unleash the nightmare monsters from their realm of dark space.

She laid Garrus down just inside the door of a room off the corridor. Helmets off they could see he had taken a hell of a hit to the side of his head and blood had been pouring from the wound, stemmed now with the medigel, but he was still in need of urgent attention.

'Brewster, Stevens do you copy?' Shepard spoke into her OT and turning to Garrus said 'you're going to have some fine scars there Vakarian, Krogan females gonna be all over your ass' she smiled and saw the flicker of response on his face.

'Ha, even with the scars he's too scrawny, but I know one or two who don't mind something a little exotic' Wrex joined in the teasing but Shepard could see the worry in his eyes.

'Always… wondered… how you… saw me… Wrex… exotic hum… maybe… we need to… talk later…' Garrus struggled to get the words out but was determined to join in the banter.

'We copy Commander, we got Tali to Huerta it's a bit of a mess here but CSec have deployed forces to protect the hospital and she has received treatment. We are supporting CSec to defend the hospital any further orders ma'am' Brewster's voice came loud and clear.

'I need you to bring a medical team to this location, Garrus is down and badly hurt, Geth all over the place so keep frosty' she moved away slightly so that she was out of earshot of Garrus 'Beth we are going to have to leave him here and will be moving in to deal with Saren so not sure when we will be able to get back for him, do your dammedest to get to him and save his sorry ass' Shepard finished.

'Copy that Commander we'll get it done' Brewster sounded as if she was already organising the extraction team 'no marine left behind, Oscar Mike to your location.'

Damn right no marine left behind, certainly not on my watch Shepard thought, and they were all her marines.

'Right your taxi has been ordered and will be here shortly sir, try not to get into any more trouble we'll just clear up this mess and meet you in the bar.'

Shepard was kneeling down in front of Garrus and smiling at him, she tapped him on his leg and was about to stand up when he reached out and tried to grip her arm but he had no strength.

'Honour… friend… kick ass,' she could hardly hear him and much of what he was trying to say was just breathing.

She knelt in close and locked eyes with her Turian friend and comrade 'Now here me mister, this is a direct order, you will hold on for extraction and you will remain alive at all times, am I making myself clear soldier?' her voice was strong and commanding, the voice she used to give orders that she expected to be carried out without question, this was Shepard in full Commander mode.

His eyes cleared a little and she thought she saw him try to sit up a bit straighter 'Yes Shepard… understood.'

'Good and don't think if you do disobey that order I will not come and drag your scrawny backside back into this fight even if I have to come into whatever passes for Turian hell to find you… are we clear?'

'Crystal' and this time she could see his mandibles twitch with a smile and he seemed a little stronger.

She stood up and left the room with a final nod.

'He will be alright Shepard,' Liara said in an effort to comfort her.

'No he probably won't, but he definitely won't if he gives up… and we can say the same for this fight we're in' she turned and gave Liara a sad and very tired smile, realising that she still had the head splitting pain she had acquired on Ilos and knew she had to dig deep to get them all to the end of this.

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There he was, standing at a large holographic control panel on the platform where the Councillors usually stood dispensing their 'wisdom'. As Shepard and her team ran into the main area they dealt with a handful of Geth and continued on making their way swiftly towards Saren.

They got to the beginning of the walkway that would take them to the platform when Saren suddenly turned and rose in the air on his hover platform and targeting them with an explosive charge. They scattered for cover.

'I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time Shepard' Saren said from his platform.

'In time to see you die your miserable bastard' she shouted back at him from cover.

'We meet at the final confrontation and we both expected it would end like this. You've lost you know that, don't you? In a few minutes Sovereign will have full control of the Citadel's systems. The relay will open and the Reapers will return.'

'Yeah well I'm not done yet so don't get all carried away with planning your victory party just yet,' as she was speaking to him her mind was already working out her final move on him, trying to gauge the moment where he was distracted enough to give her just a split second to get out of cover and get a shot or two in. She was signalling to Wrex and Liara to stay down, but be ready to move at a moments notice.

'You have survived this far Shepard but I've been improved, Sovereign has… upgraded me'

'So you really are insane… you let Sovereign implant you and take away any chance you had of keeping some control, you are so fucked Saren and you don't even see it' she was trying to needle him to get an emotional response to give just a little distraction.

'I suppose I should thank you, Shepard. After Virmire and our conversation, I couldn't stop thinking about what you said. About Sovereign manipulating me, about indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me, Sovereign sensed my hesitation and I was implanted to strengthen my resolve.

Now my doubts are gone. I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand that the Reapers need organics. Join us and Sovereign will find a place for you too.'

'Listen to yourself Saren, you are being completely controlled through your implants… you're finished, you're just a tool. I still have a my own mind and free will and I like it that way… so no I won't be joining the Sovereign slave club.'

'The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined a union of flesh and steel. The strength of both the weakness of neither.

I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth.'

'Yeah well I'm happy with the way I was birthed first time round thanks… your solution looks on the ugly side with someone else pulling all the strings… this isn't over, they haven't won yet. Stand aside now and give me control of the station we can beat them.'

'We can't stop it! Not forever. You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful.' Shepard began to hear some emotion and an edge of something… was that fear, panic… but she had to up the stakes time was running out.

'Saren you thought you were so fucking clever, stronger, better than Benezia, better than me… shit you think your better than all of us… but you still failed, you lost, they have more control over you than you did over Benezia, at least she had enough strength in the end to screw you over. Somewhere inside you there must be a part of you that knows this is wrong that you can still fight… or are you just as weak as you think the rest of us are?'

'Maybe you're right… maybe there's still a change for… ungrrah' she could see Saren physically being rocked by something, his hands went to his head and she saw her chance, leaping from cover and taking aim at Saren but he was still struggling to regain control and continued saying 'the implants… Sovereign is too strong…. I'm sorry it's too late for me.'

'You could still end this on your terms Saren, cheat Sovereign, end it and give me the controls' but before she could finish what she was saying or pull the trigger on her weapon to finish him he said,

'Goodbye Shepard, thank you.' With that Saren shot himself in the head and toppled like a puppet whose strings had been cut, off his platform, smashing through the glass floor and onto the grass below.'

Shepard rushed to the control panel and rammed in the OSD with the control overrides from Ilos, turning to Wrex she said 'Go make sure that traitorous bastard is dead.'

Wrex jumped down onto the grass and put another two shots into Saren's head.

'He is about as dead as it's possible to be Shepard,' Wrex gave the body a kick then turned and walked away a determined set to his shoulders.

'Ok that worked, I've got control of all the systems' Shepard said over her shoulder to Liara.

'Thank the Goddess, can you open the arms, we still need to deal with Sovereign,' she replied.

'On it… comms should be coming back online any…' but before Shepard could finish a communication interrupted her.

'This is the Destiny Ascention, mass drives offline, kinetic barriers down 40%. The Council is onboard repeat the Council is onboard.' The connection was clear enough although it broke up a little and there was static in the background.

'This is the SSV Normandy to the Citadel. Normandy to the Citadel. Do you copy… is that you Commander' Ash's voice broke through the static with another incoming message.

'Read you loud and clear this is Shepard' she replied.

'We caught that distress call, Commander. We are sitting here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet. If you unlock the relays around the Citadel we can send in the cavalry.'

Wrex had just joined them on the platform 'You would sacrifice human lives for the Council, what have they ever done for your kind? Hell look at the way they treated you Shepard.'

'But this is bigger than any of us Wrex, Sovereign is a threat to every organic species in the galaxy,' Liara's eyes were wide with concern and she looked determinedly at Shepard waiting for the response.

'Exactly why you can't afford to throw away reinforcements trying to save the Council… you have to hold them back till the arms open up fully so the human fleet can take down Sovereign' Wrex made a good argument and tactically, militarily it was the best decision.

Shepard felt the weight of yet another huge decision sitting on her shoulders… of course any decision she made could be overturned by Hackett, but in this moment people she knew, who had trust and faith in her were looking to her to make a decision that would cost thousands of lives. Could impact on galactic politics… and she still had the mother of all headaches. She squared her shoulders tapped a few more commands into the panel and moved personal doubt and concern out of her mind.

'Commander Admiral Hackett has asked that I forward on a request for your recommendation given you are the ranking officer on the ground,' Joker's voice this time 'are your order's to come in immediately to save the Ascension or hold back?' Joker sounded as if he was relaying word for word what he was receiving from Admiral Hackett.

So there would be no overturning her orders and no opportunity to brief the Admiral so he could make the decision, she was only able to speak to the Normandy because of their ship to fire team comms system.

'Relays should now be operational. Please pass this recommendation to Admiral Hackett Joker. We need to save the Ascension, no matter what the cost, Shepard out.'

'Sure hope the Council appreciate it Shepard' Wrex rumbled.

Liara gave Shepard a faint smile and touched her briefly on the arm; relief was palpable on her face and in her body language.

All they could do was stand and listen to the comms chatter, as the fleet entered Citadel space they were able to pick up commands from Admiral Hackett. Shepard relaxed just a little when they heard,

'Destiny Ascension you are clear, you are clear, we have deployed ships to cover you,' from an alliance call sign dreadnaught.

'This is Admiral Hackett all ships not assigned to guard the Ascension move to target Sovereign.'

As they looked out of the windows up towards where Sovereign was still sitting with its finger like extensions holding firm to the top of the tower they could see the arms now open enough to let in the fleet and beyond they could see the carnage of the battle between the Citadel and Arcturus fleet and the Geth.

They all felt it at the same time, looked at each other and then for the source of the quaking, the noise of static, the energy surge that seemed to fly through the room. The platform was shaking so badly all three were having trouble keeping upright and then it gave way throwing them the twenty feet or so to the grass below.

Shepard caught her breath and quickly got to her feet and looked at the source of the disturbance. Saren's body was being held off the ground and was infused with a red burning energy, energy she could feel burning hot on her face. It was as if something was possessing it, but not like the husks they had come across, this was something much more substantial.

She looked around and saw LIara and Wrex both transfixed by the show in front of them… 'Find cover now, stick close together' she shouted loudly to get them moving.

They moved as one, further away from the Saren husk and took position behind some concrete blocks.

Then the thing was on its feet, they could see all the way through its chest, its body… only the bone structure remained containing a red burning fire of pure energy. Shepard thought it was a thing straight out of old Earth hell myth's… maybe the myths were real after all, they just had to travel into space to find them.

'I am Sovereign and this station is mine' it used Saren's voice but it was so loud it seemed to penetrate inside her head, she felt it through her body.

Then all hell broke lose, the body Sovereign seemed to be able to call on all Geth forms of attack and weaponry including jamming and damping weapons. It was also able to jump around like a hopper.

Shepard decided that the best plan was to keep mobile from cover to cover as a group as that way they could concentrate fire when they had a shot, take advantage of Liara's barrier when they were in a tight spot, and have full 360 cover when the thing decided to move fast to try to get the drop on them.

It was intense, hard, and the concentration needed to keep out of harms way and still nail the thing was almost unsustainable. Shepard caught a flash of fighting that was happening between Sovereign and the fleet and she could see it was taking damage. Shepard also took hope from the fact that the body Sovereign seemed to be slowing down and they were getting more and more direct hits including some damaging biotic work from both LIara and Wrex.

Shepard had no idea how long the fight had been going on but it felt like an eternity. She had worked out that what happened to the Sovereign ship and the Sovereign husk were somehow connected as it seemed their resistance and force was running out at the same rate, from what she could tell from the very brief glances at the battle through the window.

Sovereign was on its knees, they had hit it was a sustained barrage, but as they began to move forward to finish it off it pulsed with energy and red fire erupted once again into flames as it sent out a shockwave of energy that lifted all three of them off their feet and slammed them fifteen feet backwards into the end wall.

Head spinning, ears ringing, no breath, and feeling like she had no bones left in her body Shepard struggled to stand up. On your feet now marine, the drill sergeant in her head shouted, get up, stand up marine, not dying on your back. And with a monumental effort she found her feet and looked quickly for Liara and Wrex.

A few feet away she saw something that froze the blood in her veins and rushed to Liara's side. She was crumpled, blood covering her face, her armour looked cracked, and she was hardly breathing. Wrex was only a foot away and he was only just coming too shaking his head, his right arm hanging down obviously broken badly. He was bleeding from his head and his left arm was badly gashed. She looked over to the Sovereign body, it was still kneeling on the ground and she could see the power was dimmed but it was not dead, it was still a danger and they hadn't' defeated the Sovereign ship, so this wasn't over.

But she couldn't leave Liara, she had to find help she could be, probably was dying… Shepard was, for the first time in her life, frozen to the spot.

Wrex was trying to get up but he couldn't it looked as if he had damage to his legs as well.

'Shepard you have to finish it… Shepard' he shouted her name the second time, breaking through the noise and static and nothingness in her head.

She looked at him as if just waking up and began to focus on his voice on his words.

'Finish it Shepard… do what you do best… make it pay' Wrex shouted knowing that her ringing ears, concussion or shock would make it difficult for her to hear him otherwise.

She nodded, squared her shoulders and stood up… picked up Wrex's shotgun and walked at a steady pace directly for the Sovereign body.

She started firing as soon as she got within range and the thing actually started to stumble backwards, it fired shots at her but she didn't notice and she didn't care. Her mission was not finished until the thing was dead and she always completed her mission.

Another step another shot, she could feel the heat from its energy on her face, it fired at her again and she felt it hit her somewhere on her side, she didn't even stumble. Shepard fired again and this time the thing seemed to lose its glow, the red dissipated, she stopped walking forward and fired again and it seemed to evaporate into wisps of dark mist.

It was her turn to sink to her knees, she knew that twenty feet behind her a good friend and her soul mate could possibly be dying or already dead. Garrus and Tali the same, she had taken quite a few hits, but they had stopped them. This time. This time the Reapers didn't get to walk straight in the door when they wanted to.

She looked up; out through the window she could see that Sovereign was being destroyed by the combined efforts of the joint fleets, she fancied she even saw a flash that could have been her Normandy fighting in the thick of it. She watched the Reaper as its grip loosened and it began to break apart, the pieces began to rain down onto the Citadel, onto the tower.

Then it dawned on her that a huge chunk of Sovereign was making one last attempt to finish her off, it was falling towards her and would smash through the window within seconds.

'Aw fucking crap… you have got to be joking me' she said out loud and then everything went dark.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Slipping back into consciousness to darkness, dust blocking her nose, jagged edges… that damned alarm Claxton howling and setting every nerve end on fire, she could feel the noise inside her head… someone turn that fucking noise off… her head still splitting in pain… then away again into the void of nothing.

Breathe, another breath jolting her back to consciousness, back here… so was this where she was? The Citadel, Sovereign… 'Liara' the thought cut through her worse than any of her physical pain any of her mental anguish…

She tried to shout to call out, Liara was hurt, she needed to…. She… Silence, it was all but silent, well as silent as she could make out with the still present underwater sensation around her hearing. Did someone turn that alarm off, was it quiet so they could listen for any signs of life… her life… Liara's?

The breath came and went, shallow, fought for, painful. Just let go, into the arms of the universe, into the arms of the Goddess. The thought offered the only relief and comfort she could ever remember knowing in that moment, everything else was pain, frustration, anger and yes, fear, she would rather die on her feet facing an enemy, not bleeding out in some hole in the ground not knowing why or how or if she finished what she started.

Blue eyes, a familiar scent, comforting warmth in her mind… one last thing to do, one more time she had to do what seemed like the impossible… and she felt herself drifting up towards a blue sky, blue eyes.

Scraping, jostling, sounds… she thought they were sounds… she felt her body shift… then air on her face… voices…

'Commander… Shepard… we are getting you out' a strong voice, she tried to reply but nothing came out, just ragged breathing.

'Is she conscious… how bad is it' another voice, she thought she recognised him… Anderson… was it… 'get some more help over here now' that was louder he was shouting for more… more help to get her out… she tried again to speak, to move to help get herself out but still nothing happened.

She felt herself being carried, could feel something more soft cradling her body, felt the movement, she knew what it felt like to be stretchered off a battlefield… Elysium… carnage… now more carnage… 'Liara…please… not Liara' was all she could think.

'We are taking her straight to the Kilimanjaro' more shouting, a woman's voice this time. Shepard could definitely feel the thrum of engines now and fresh air, doors slamming shut and the familiar lift in her stomach as a mass drive defied gravity just before the dampers kicked in.

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The edge of awareness drifted into being and Shepard made the monumental effort to open her eyes, but instead, swallowed a thick tongued, dry mouthed swallow, and then tried again.

This time she became aware that she could see light even with her eyes still closed. Shepard concentrated hard on her eyes she got them to open into thin slits, her lids flickering rather than remaining steadily open, but she could still make out a white ceiling bulkhead, hazy, out of focus but that's what it was.

Then the sound of a gentle bleep, regular, somehow soothing. The realisation that she was laying on a bed, clean, warm, comfortable, feeling no pain, and that completed her assessment… she was in a hospital probably on the… hang on she knew where this was… she heard someone shout… yes she must be in the hospital on the Kilimanjaro. Her mother's ship and Hackett's flag ship, why? Why was she not still on the Citadel?

The Citadel… Liara… with that thought she started to force her eyes open, tried to sit up but couldn't only managing to move her arms an inch or so off the bed; and only when she tried to call out did she realise there was something obstructing her mouth, her throat.

'Relax Commander your safe, let me just remove the tube, we needed to help your breathing' that voice… the edge of face above her… familiar, Chakwas, her Doc from the Normandy.

The tube was out and she coughed and when she spoke her voice was quiet, raspy, barely more than a weak whisper.

'Doc… Liara… need to…' was as far as she got before Doctor Chakwas interrupted.

'She is close by Shepard, just down the hall, doing well, better than you, please relax and you will be able to see her soon' the Doc was doing something to Shepard's arm, a tube, a drip in her arm, 'you are still sedated so you will feel very disorientated, let yourself come round without forcing it. I am stopping the sedation. Do you understand Commander?'

'Mmmgh' was all she could manage and she felt totally exhausted but Liara was near, was not dead, she could rest a little more, just for a while… her awareness dimmed and she drifted away to nothing.

'Thank you I am very comfortable here.' The voice washed over Shepard, it was like music, like a beautiful colour, it spoke directly to her soul.

Opening her eyes she turned her head to where she knew she would see Liara and she had a moment to realise that her Asari had been talking to someone, an orderly, and her head was still slightly turned away finishing the exchange.

Shepard also felt Liara holding her hand gently in both of hers. As Liara turned back to face the bed Shepard caught her breath as their eyes locked and immediately the tears began to run down both their faces.

Liara leaned in close and they touched foreheads in silence for what seemed hours but it was more like a minute, and it was Shepard who spoke first.

'I let you get hurt… I nearly got you killed' Shepard's voice was still weak but it was heavy with emotion and the confession ripped itself from deep within her.

'No you must not say that Shepard' Liara pulled back a little and began kissing Shepard's face and brought one hand up to stroke her cheek 'you did not force me there, it was were I was meant to be and you saved me, you saved us all.' Liara's tears were still falling on her face but her voice was soothing and her eyes were full of concern.

'I honestly believed the safest place you could be was by my side… that I would never let anything harm you… that I could always protect… be your shield if I needed to be…' Shepard's voice trailed away her tears now stopped but deep emotions still playing through her like ice and fire.

Fear for what might have happened, anger at herself for not protecting LIara, for being so focussed on the mission, so convinced she was invincible that she had convinced herself she could share it with those around her. Guilt, concern, love, loss and grief all mixing together and flowing through her, Shepard had never felt so much all at once in her entire life.

'We will have time to talk about this Shepard, but for now you need rest so that you can regain your strength, there will be time' Liara kissed Shepard's hand and looked at her lover with tenderness etched across her face.

Shepard seemed to snap out of where she was and realised she had no idea what injuries Liara had and with her quieter and huskier voice said, 'Liara I'm such a tool... how are you feeling... what happened… where are you hurt… are you in pain?'

As she was speaking Shepard turned towards Liara and shifted her weight onto her elbow reached across with her other arm to Liara cupping her hand around the Asari's cheek. Shepard's face showed all her fear and concern, what didn't show was her frustration that she couldn't take whatever pain Liara was feeling away and into her own body.

'I am afraid my head is not as strong as yours' Liara said with a smile and continued 'I gave myself quite a bad concussion, although we have shared that particular injury. I broke bones in both my legs and shattered by collar bone, and some minor bruising and cuts. And before you take the responsibility for this Shepard' Liara continued in a firmer tone, 'I am a full biotic and should have been quick enough to use a barrier. I was not… I did not have my brain…'

Shepard smiled weakly and interrupted 'I think your trying to say you didn't keep your head in the game… and I believe what you should have said is that I have a very thick head which you can look up on the extranet for its other meaning' it was Shepard's turn to kiss the Asari's hands but having done so she needed to lay back down on the bed.

'You're sitting in a wheelchair Liara I'd say that was pretty serious.'

'Only for another couple of days and only because Doctor Chakwas insists that I begin with proper strengthening and stretching exercises, I can walk on them perfectly well, shall I show you?' Liara tilted her head to one side and made to stand up but Shepard reached and pulled her back into her seat.

'No, you have to do what the Doc orders Liara, Alliance rules' Shepard grinned 'and don't think I haven't noticed you're wearing a Kilimanjaro sweat shirt. Have to say it's not a look I thought I would ever see you wearing and it certainly does suit you… but your ship is the Normandy,' Shepard faked looking hurt and let down 'these things are important.'

'Your mother gave it to me actually' Liara smiled but there was also a trace of something else that Shepard couldn't read.

'Ouch how did that go… sorry Liara I really should have been around for the first meeting… still that's no excuse for wearing the badge of another ship.'

Shepard leaned over and kissed Liara on the lips, it was brief but the flash of passion and connection was a strong as ever.

'Captain Shepard has been very kind and also very worried about you and concerned about me. I can see you reflected in her.'

'I have been told I am my mother's daughter, although I don't really see it myself.'

Liara smiled down at her Human and they remained in comfortable silence, just being with each other, the initial shock and tension of Shepard's reaction to the events making space for their connection, their friendship, their deep feelings for each other.

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A hand was running through, what was now, her short hair. It had been so long since Shepard had found the time to get her usual marine cut that she was showing an inch or so of growth.

The touch was familiar but not Liara… 'Mum' Shepard said in a groggy not awake voice turning her head and forcing her eyes open.

'Yes LV it's me. Liara has just gone for a lie down,' Hannah Shepard continued to stroke her daughters head allowing her fingers to ruffle the short hair as they moved.

'Dry mouth… is there…'

'Here you are darling, some water, can you sit up a little?' her mother helped Shepard to sit up a little against her pillows and held a cup while she took some sips.

'Thanks,' Shepard was coming around now and could see the worry on her mothers face, 'I must look like shit for you to be so worried considering all the scrapes I've gotten myself into over the years' she gave one of her 'winning' smiles to her mother and then instantly regretted it. Her mother knew all her smiles and ways of deflecting from what she was really feeling.

'Yes… well you do look like shit; you've been very badly banged about, much more than usual. So excuse me if I get a little concerned about you. Saviour of the Citadel you may be but your still my daughter and that will never change' her sternness was more than tempered by the love in her voice and expression.

'Why do I feel like I should say 'sorry Mum' like I was reckless playing a game of z ball' Shepard gave her mother a real grin this time and her mother shook her head in mock exasperation and returned a smile.

They chatted for a while longer and Captain Shepard gave her daughter some of the detail of the battle with the Geth and Sovereign. She also told her how badly the Citadel had been damaged, civilians, military and CSec personnel killed and injured during the fighting.

'I am so proud of you LV, it would have been so much worse without your intervention. And if you hadn't stopped Saren we would all be dead from the invasion.'

'You believe my intel about the Reapers?' Shepard was touched by her mother's words about her actions but if her mother believed her about the Reapers perhaps it wouldn't be so hard to convince the Council.

'Of course I do as does Admiral Hackett and Captain Anderson but we are likely to be in the minority. People don't want to believe in the end of the world and if they can avoid thinking about it then they will. As the XO I am aware of a lot of secure and confidential comms traffic, which I will not share with you, but I will give you a heads up.

Firstly you are a galactic hero… don't look like that you won't be able to avoid a little fuss,' she smiled at her reluctant hero daughter and saw her husband clearly present in his marine daughter. 'And for a while you will have a lot of leeway with politicians don't waste it. The public will love you for much longer.

Secondly, the Council will not accept the Reapers are any more real now than they did, the public will not want to know either. The only thing worse than a nightmare is finding out it isn't.'

'But we only delayed them… they will come… how the hell do I get anyone to take it seriously… I can't prepare and fight them on my own' Shepard was frustrated and angry and she looked at her mother searching for a way forward.

'You're not on your own, I've told you there are those in authority who do believe you, I'm not sure that you don't even have some support on the Council. People will be doing everything they can to prepare quietly behind the scenes. Guarding against those working to support the Reapers like Saren, but you will have to be our lightening rod.

You will need to take the open overt action and be the voice of warning and you will appear to be a lone voice,' her mother looked at her quizzically.

'How the frak did you get so good at politics?' and then the penny dropped 'this is a conversation you've had with the Admiral isn't it, these are his orders for me?

'Glad to see you're as sharp as ever, yes this is a conversation that would be very difficult for you two to have directly. And if you don't think that an Admiral in the fleet has to be good at politics you really have not been paying attention and guess who is standing at his shoulder most of the time,' Hannah Shepard smiled down at her daughter with love, pride and a little sadness.

Shepard sat up a little straighter in bed and squared her shoulders as best she could, her mother recognised the gesture immediately and what it meant.

Captain Shepard knew just what task was in front of Commander Shepard, saviour of the Citadel, hero of Elysium, first human spectre, and remarkable as her daughter was she was still just that, her daughter, a woman, a marine, not a super hero, but that was exactly what she was being asked, no, ordered to be; orders Captain Shepard had just passed on. And once her daughter had her orders she would see her mission through to the end, whatever the cost.

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'Who did I lose Doc?' Shepard now felt fully awake and out from whatever emotional hole she had dug for herself.

'I would rather hear it from you, I don't want Liara to have to tell me, please Doc.' Shepard had seen the reluctance on Doctor Chakwas's face and her attempts to deflect the question. Not because the Doctor felt she couldn't or that she would find it difficult. She was used to breaking that kind of bad news, no she had been asked not too. Liara wanted to 'break it' to Shepard herself.

'I am so terribly sorry Commander. Tali did not survive the infection from her wounds. We brought her up here with the rest of our Alliance wounded but there was nothing we could do. Her injuries were severe and serious but certainly treatable with a positive outcome given the speed you got her to Huerta, yes Commander you did everything you could for her.'

Doctor Chakwas had caught the dismissive look and hand wave and knew it was pointless trying to convince Shepard that it was not her fault, but Chakwas would try anyway. 'It was the infection, you know how dangerous for a Quarian that is and it seems there were some particularly potent and difficult to identify sources on Ilos that entered her system.' She left the rest unsaid.

'Where is she?' Shepard's voice betrayed none of the emotion she was feeling.

'The Admiralty Board asked that she be taken to a rendezvous point for transfer to a Quarian vessel so she would receive the proper death rights and a hero's welcome home to the flotilla. The Normandy left with her around 12 hours ago.'

'And Garrus… Wrex… my marines, crew?' Shepard was bracing herself for further bad news.

'Wrex has already made a full recovery, well once I set the breaks he had in his legs, he went with the Normandy to represent the rest of your team.'

Despite everything Shepard found space to feel touched by Wrex's actions. She understood what he was trying to show, trying to do, by taking that role for his krant.

Chakwas continued 'some damage to the Normandy but superficial and only a few cuts and bruises amongst the crew from some of the sharper turns that tested the inertial dampers beyond their ability to cope. Both marines back from the Citadel without injury and Garrus will make a full recovery.

But to be honest none of the Doctors that saw him in Huerta for emergency treatment could work out why he was actually still alive,' she looked knowingly down at Shepard having heard the 'orders' the Commander had given Garrus which probably had made all the difference.

Shepard took a deep breath and let it out slowly, almost steadying herself, and certainly shifting back into officer mode.

'Thank you Doctor I appreciate your telling me, and also for everything you did for Tali. So how soon can I get out of this bed and start to get myself ready for duty?' Shepard turned to look at the Doctor and both their expressions told the other they were ready for a battle of wills.

'Commander you took extensive damage quite apart from the stunning head trauma, and I won't even begin to tell you how dumb it was to put your head in another of those Prothean beacons. No Commander you will hear me out as you well know I have the authority but I sometimes hold on to the vain hope that if I could just get a marine to understand how much damage they had taken they would not fight me every inch of the way to recuperation.

As I was saying, head trauma, crush injuries to the left side, fractured legs, collapsed lung, ribs, internal crush injuries,' Shepard had not wavered or flinched but Chakwas caught a flash of worry that showed in the Commanders eyes.

'Why don't I get to the good part,' Chakwas said taking pity on Shepard 'it has all been repaired but we had to use some very cutting edge and advanced Alliance synthetic tech to rebuild your skeletal injuries, you have a replacement kidney and spleen, where your muscles were torn or otherwise damaged we have again used replacements and I had to balance you up so you also lost some undamaged muscles replaced by synthetics… and you will need to remain in bed on meds to stabilise the surgery and implants for another five days with further light exercise for a period after that.'

It took all the Doctors will not too actually laugh at the face Shepard had pulled hearing about her five day bed rest, in fact Shepard let out a very un-Commander like moan that would not have been amiss coming from a frustrated three year old.

'Seems unfair I only got to kill that bastard Reaper once given the cost of doing it,' Shepard sounded and looked murderous.

'Well technically we did Commander if you count taking down the ship as well,' she moved away to go and check on her other patients but she threw a parting comment over her shoulder, 'but you need to concentrate on happy thoughts Commander, happy thoughts help the healing.'

If the Doctor had looked back at Shepard she would have seen the Commander now fully acting out her inner three year old by mimicking the Doctor to herself with exaggerated face and head movement and spitting out 'happy thoughts… happy fucking thought' in anything but a happy tone of voice.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N Hello lovely people thank you for joining this Shepard on this particular journey

Oh and yes there is sexual content, quite explicit, but not gratuitous there is also mushy stuff…

Chapter 12

By the time the Normandy had returned from its sad duty Liara was fully up and about and Shepard was being driven crazy by inactivity. Garrus was still flat on his back but they had chatted via comms and Shepard was struck by how deeply he had also been affected by Tali's death.

As the second week of her forced confinement dawned she was like a bear with a sore head, according to her mother. The analogy had to be explained to both Liara and Garrus who both said that it would be more fitting to say a Krogan with a sore tooth.

Wrex had visited her in hospital before setting off for some recreation on Omega and Tuchanka. He would return to 'duty' as soon as she sent him the call. Shepard respected the Krogan enormously and they had made a strong bond, she was honoured he counted her as part of his krant, they were more than 'just' comrades in arms, they were kin.

Despite the best efforts of both Doctor Chakwas and Doctor T'Soni, Shepard managed to retain command of her ship and her crew from her hospital bed. She had granted all crew and her team fourteen days leave, requisitioned a full repair and refit for the Normandy at the stations 'dry' dock and had Liara hunting down any tech that had been recovered from the Geth or Sovereign that they could incorporate into the Normandy.

Know your enemy and use their tech against them, Shepard had said during one of their many conversations about improving their chances against the 'next Reaper' they met. As an Alliance officer it would have been beyond her influence or control to make the changes but as a Council Spectre and recent 'Saviour of the Citadel' all manner of people were happy to give her pretty much what she wanted to 'clear up the remaining Geth'.

Shepard also needed to get her crew up to full strength as they seemed never to have moved from their 'shake down' mode, there hadn't been time, once they hit Eden Prime it was a non-stop ride to the confrontation with Sovereign.

When Shepard finally got the OK to be discharged and authorised for more robust physical activity to get her back into shape she had actually only been on the Kilimanjaro for thirteen days but it felt like a lifetime.

Shepard and Liara were going to have two weeks, fourteen glorious days to themselves, before the Spectre and Alliance Commander would have to step back into her life, into the politics, into her mission.

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Before the door had even completely closed behind them Shepard and Liara crashed into each other's arms and their mouths found each other in a fury of deep kisses; their tongues flashing between them tracing lips, teeth and reaching deep into each other's mouths in turn.

As they kissed Shepard was slowly walking forward in the vague direction of the bedroom and Liara was allowing herself to be guided backwards, but their hands were ripping away the clothes that kept them from feeling each other's rising heat, skin to skin.

Shepard reached around behind Liara and undid the fasteners on her long Asari dress and they stopped for a moment as it fell to the ground, Shepard opened her eyes a little wider and noticed they were not far from the small dining table.

With a huge grin she picked up the Asari who wrapped her now exposed thighs around Shepard's hips, still kissing and biting each other's lips they reached the table and Liara found herself sitting on it with Shepard standing between her legs.

'Let me…' Shepard's words were interspersed with kissing whichever part of Liara's body her mouth was closest to as she removed Liara's underwear, 'introduce you… to the… hotel… room… fuck… Dr T'Soni.' They were both becoming breathless from their passion but also from laughing.

'Should I be taking… mmm… ooh… notes… Commander' Liara was leaning back her hands planted firmly on the table behind her and Shepard now had free reign over the Asari's body.

Shepard, with Liara's help, had stripped her upper body of clothing and as she stood between the Asari's thighs she pressed their breasts together and gently moved against her lover in a small circle never losing contact between them but allowing their nipples to brush past each other. At the same time she began tracing the sensitive folds of Liara's crest with her tongue allowing her teeth to graze gently along the edges. She was rewarded by Liara's quickened breathing, the moans of sheer pleasure that were escaping the Asari's mouth and the shudders of desire were also flashing through both their bodies.

With her left hand holding Liara around the lower back Shepard began to move her right hand slowly down the side of the Asari's body, fingers trailing and moving across the gentle curve off the belly, down further to find the top of the perfectly shaped blue thigh.

Shepard's mouth found the folds on the side of the regal neck and again traced them with her tongue in between kissing and gently biting, she also moved her body slightly to one side to allow her hand access to Liara's hot and very wet cunt. Shepard had felt the wetness soaking through her trousers as she pressed herself against her lover.

Liara gave a small murmur of loss as Shepard broke contact along one side but it was replaced almost immediately with a gasp and her head snapped forward as Shepard found the sensitive bud that was akin to a human clitoris.

Shepard began to move two fingers against it in a slow elliptical motion and on the downward pass trailed the tips of her fingers into the wetness and drew it up across the bud to lubricate the movement. The movement also teased the promise of pleasure to come as the finger tips penetrated between the Asari's outer lips.

As she turned her face to look as Liara she saw the familiar blackness in the eyes, they had joined pretty much as soon as they entered the room, she also saw the flushed appearance of exertion on her lovers face and knew it would be reflected in her own. Shepard knew how much Liara was aroused, how much desire was coursing through her, how the building tension laced with an edge of satisfaction was pulling them closer and closer to release because it echoed in Shepard's body 'you gotta love the Asari' she thought briefly 'double the pleasure….,' but the absolute need to be inside LIara was now wiping anything else away.

Liara was moving against Shepard's fingers and moans of delight came faster and faster from her lover until finally an explosion of sensation reaching every nerve ending in both their bodies, wave upon wave of pulsing joy, release, gratification and while the pulses were still fresh and strong Shepard moved her hand lower and plunged her fingers into the Asari making them both gasp and moan with renewed and inflamed need.

Shepard moved her hand and her fingers in a way that she had learned would give them both the most pleasure, dropping into a rhythm that was steadily increasing in speed and strength. Liara moved her left hand down and held Shepard's forearm loosely so that she could feel the muscles and sinews move to and fro, feel the strength and the power that was pulsing into her.

They found each other's lips and kissed again and again and also whispered to each other words of sexual arousal, of encouragement, and almost of love.

'Oh Shepard, yes…

harder…

oh yes…

more… there… yes… oh Goddess…

deeper… all of you… inside me…

need all of you…'

'Fuck Liara you are….

fuck…. yeah…

always…. all of me…

you…

mine…'

When the climax came it exploded through their bodies, their minds their very being. Shepard stayed inside Liara until the pulsing and involuntary twitching of muscles and nerves had quietened. Liara was leaning her head on Shepard's shoulders one arm around her while the other lay against the hand that was still inside her.

Shepard let out one of her body shaking laughs and looked as LIara with a huge smile on her face Liara raised her head to look at her lover and mirrored the smile and the laugh.

'Fuck Liara you know I love you right… so let's just say it and get it out of the way…' she said through the laughter 'the number of times we both nearly said the 'L' word it was getting painful,' she finished by planting a kiss on her lovers lips.

Liara playfully cuffed Shepard around the head and beaming said 'Oh Shepard yes we have both experienced the others feelings during our joining but thank you for allowing us to say the words… it was becoming… problematic.'

'Yeah well I was kinda hoping you would break the log jam babe you're the one with all the experience of the feelings stuff' Shepard knew they had been as bad as each other given Liara's shyness and inexperience, even with ordinary social interactions, and Shepard's lack of experience in any kind of serious emotional relationship and therefore her fear, but she could never resist teasing her beautiful, shy, sexy Asari.

'I think you may want to get out of those trousers Shepard I think they are rather wet' and as Shepard withdrew her hand, accompanied by a small moan of pleasure from them both, Liara stood up and began removing her human's trousers.

'Ah I see you are moving to stage two… phaooor… of the hotel room fuck... Dr…. T'Soni… aahhh,' the words were said through short rumbles of laughter.

It was Shepard's turn to struggle to speak given that Liara had not only removed all Shepard's remaining clothes but had found that her lover was quite as wet as she had been and she was determined to take full advantage of it.

'Any instructions Commander,' Liara said playfully 'up against the wall or….'

'Ooooh bedroom' Shepard laughed 'definitely bedroom T'Soni.'

As they headed to the bedroom anyone who may have been passing their door would have heard happy, playful laughing and may even have been able to feel the edges of a bubble of blissful contentment and joy.

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They had travelled to Illium using an alliance scout ship, it was about four times the size of the Normandy's shuttle, but was only built for a crew of four so there was decent accommodation and comfort. The scout ship was used for deep cover missions and its occupants could be on listening duty for months at a time.

All in all it was a very comfortable run around and mobile hotel suite but they wanted to taste luxury, anonymity and indulgence for the first half of their trip so they booked in at the Azure Hotel.

This had been Liara's choice, not one that Shepard would have predicted once they arrived and realised it was a hotel for well 'lovers' and considered quite outrageous. The hotel suites were excellent and food was as good as they would find in any high end restaurant and it came as room service any time night or day. They didn't go further than their balcony for two days. It wasn't all sex and lovemaking, they talked, they laughed, they watched vids, even attempted to cook but other hungers got in the way.

Without realising it they tried to cram months or 'living' together, getting to know each other, enjoying each other's company into those short forty eight hours.

One the last day and night of their stay they ventured out to wander the around shops, finding parks to sit in and ending up having dinner in a small romantic restaurant. Liara insisted they completed their 'dirty weekend' as Shepard had joked about it, at the nightclub and bar called Eternity.

It seemed all Asari were born to move to music in a way that most other species could only dream off, and quite a lot of members of other species dreamed a lot about Asari dancers in one way or another.

The standing joke about Shepard's dancing was not without its merit, but that didn't stop her, she would let the music take her over and just 'be'.

But not tonight, not with this most amazingly, liquidly, sensually, sexily moving exquisite woman dancing next to her, with her. Shepard was not going to miss one mili second of being on a dance floor with the most beautiful woman in the galaxy who, almost unbelievably, loved her.

Shepard could just feel an echo of their joining, feel Liara's body moving with her, through her, their connection strong, their desire unquenched, heightened and sharpened by the delay they were playing with staying here, flirting, teasing, inflaming their lust for each other.

They could both feel the throbbing need flashing out across their bodies from their hard clits; it was exciting, bad… very bad… and very, very good.

Closer and closer they danced until they fitted together and moved against each other to the music and their own desperate rhythm. Shepard's arms holding Liara tightly around her waist while her lover ran fingers up and down the back of her humans head. Thigh's between thighs pushing, grinding. They allowed a small climax claim them before they left and headed for their last night in the penthouse suite of the Azure resort hotel.

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The next phase of their holiday was Shepard's choice, they were headed for a small and remote garden world that was slowly being settled and developed but was off the relay network at the very edge of the known parts of the galaxy. There were still huge amounts of the galaxy that was unknown, only accessible by long FTL journeys.

Exploration was going on but it was mainly a one way trip and not made by many other than science teams. There was enough of the accessible galaxy unsettled and unexplored to satisfy even most adventurous and curious of human's natural need to break new ground.

The system contained two garden planets and the larger, Eos, was much more developed with four decent sized urban areas boasting a population of around 150,000 settlers across the planet. Their destination, Hasperos was still developing along the lines of small villages and towns. Both planets had decent geological deposits, eezo, fresh water in abundance and various configurations of salt ocean. It also provided food for all known diets which made life a lot easier for the Turians and very occasional Quarian who visited.

Eos had climate regions similar to Earth and Thessia but no frozen poles while Hasperos had a narrower range and could be described as similar to the Earth Mediterranean with Alpine regions.

The system had something else going for it as well. It was far enough away from both the Terminus System and the Traverse as to be too far off the map to interest slavers and raiders.

The individuals, family groups, social groups, communities and businesses who sought out this jewel in the galaxy all wanted to come to settle and live in a quieter, more peaceful, in touch, and in balance with the groundside environment lifestyle. And they came from all Council races, it was more a state of mind that a specific species thing, making this system almost unique in the galaxy for that reason alone.

'Welcome to the Phosphorus system' Shepard said as they dropped out of FTL and began a smooth glide towards the inner system. She put the ship in orbit around Eos for a couple of spins so Liara could have a look.

They were sitting in pilot and co-pilot seats in the cockpit where they had spent a fair amount of the journey from Illium. Shepard had insisted they detoured to take in cosmic views that would offer stunning light shows through the multispectral windows of the scout ship, which meant they could see sights like PIA 14872, in the Circinus constellation in all its glory in real time. Shepard particularly wanted to share the moment with Liara as the supernova that was contributing to the stunning view had been seen on Earth nearly 2500 years ago.

As soon as the words came out of her mouth Shepard realised how short a time that would be for an Asari and they both started howling with laughter at the realisation.

'They called it a guest star' she smiled across at Liara 'showed in Earth's sky for almost a whole year according to the records.' It felt odd but satisfying to finally be able to share knowledge with Liara for a change. Shepard loved the fact that her lover was a very, very, intelligent and clever women and was only too happy to increase her own learning and understanding through conversation and discussion with Liara.

Although sometimes Shepard wondered if Liara was 'entertained' enough by her more practical and soldierly mind and its chatter she need not have worried. Liara really did feel exactly the same way about her Human as Shepard did about her Asari.

Shepard hadn't told Liara where they were going, why, or what they would be doing. She wanted to surprise her and Shepard was aware that Liara probably hadn't allowed anyone close enough to make this kind of fuss of her. She also wanted to share something really precious with her soul mate and it was a bonus that they needed to come here for it to work as Shepard wanted.

They landed a few clicks away from the largest settlement on the continent at the designated 'space port' which was really more like an old twentieth century Earth 'air strip'. There were only two short haul shuttles and no buildings at all.

Shepard drove their RTV Kat off the ship, it was a very cut down Tomkah, with a soft top that was currently rolled down so they could enjoy the glorious sunshine and endless blue skies.

The vehicle was already loaded with all the supplies and kit they would need for their five day stay so once they locked down their ship they were free to head into the small town that was probably the capital of an entire planet. Shepard and Liara both felt a little strange not being in their respective 'uniforms' opting for very casual and relaxed 'holiday wear'.

Shepard's gun rack was in the back of the Kat, she was determined to be a civilian for a least a few days and with no large or even medium sized predators on the planet there was no excuse to carry anything. She had been before she knew how peaceful, friendly and laid back the place was.

Like any good neighbour or fellow pioneer, even a temporary one, Shepard had called ahead to the local area and asked if she could bring in any supplies from Illium as a show of support for the endeavour. And so their first stop was at the central community facility to drop off their cargo. Electronics, tech, machine parts, medikits and less practical items like rugs, small pieces of art, clothing, and personal crates of belonging shipped forward to new homes.

They spent some time chatting to the locals that were around and shared a bite to eat at a small open air café with the Turian logistics lead, a Human who seemed to fulfil the role of quartermaster and a couple of Salarian's who were talking excitedly about a plant discovery they had made that could have health properties.

It was so relaxing, Liara was holding her own in the Salarian discussion and Shepard was happily chatting about the plans the colony had to link its main population areas without making too much of an impact on the ground. She was pleased to find out that the system was under the protection of the Council and it would be the local populations who would decide about what or how much development and resource harvesting would happen within their system.

By the time they finally said their goodbyes it was late in the planets afternoon but Shepard was determined to sleep under the stars with her soul mate, so they set of in no great rush, they would stop in a couple of hours when they found somewhere they liked the look of.

They had nowhere to be, nothing to do and no one to please but themselves. As far as Shepard was concerned this was the closest she would get to 'heaven' before or after death.

The first night when they laid on their big soft bedding, in the lee of a small rise that offered them a view out across a shimmering lake, Liara looked up to the stars and said,

'It would be very easy for a small ship to get lost up there and never be found' she sounded wistful and Shepard understood where that feeling was coming from, she felt it herself.

Shepard rolled onto her elbow and leaned in to kiss her lover and answered, 'oh I think we're already lost, and I'm not sure we would find anywhere better for a journeys end then here,' she smiled and began to lose herself in Liara's eyes.

'And I lose myself in you every time we make love, there is a part of my soul that will never be found again Liara, you have it and I have a part of yours.'

Liara could only nod she was so full of love and tenderness, and with small tears of joy falling down the Asari's cheeks they folded into each other's arms. Shepard had never known such peace, contentment, joy, there was only now this moment these few days but they were more than some people had in a lifetime.

They had followed the same loose daily routine for the past three days and three nights. Cooking together in the open air, walking in the stunning pristine natural beauty, swimming in warm blue pools or slow moving rivers, exploring, even reading in a companionable silence, or rather long breaks in conversation.

And the sleeping in the warm, soft nights under the stars wrapped in each other's arms, sometimes falling asleep holding hands just staring up into the star dusted deep lilac sky. It didn't even get completely dark; dark enough to make sleeping easy but with enough ambient reflection from the planets two moons to make it easy enough to get around.

On the morning of the fourth day they packed up camp and this time Shepard had a clear destination in mind. She had told Liara how she knew of this place through a single visit with her father. He had brought her for a short leave that her mother couldn't share because of her duties.

They had camped but their trip had been climbing focussed and it was one of her clearest, fondest and most happy memories. Shepard had a plan to give Liara something she would be able to keep with her forever, that would stay fresh and real, long after the vids they had been taken had faded, long after Shepard herself had faded away.

Liara was sitting on the ground with a clear view of the huge rock face rising about twelve hundred feet toward the blue sky that was to be Shepard's climb. Liara was looking… concerned… Shepard was going to free climb and was aiming to make it to the top in around two hours.

As Shepard sat down close she gave Liara a huge grin, 'will you meld with me so that I can share a memory with you,'

'Of course Shepard' and Liara gave a smile that would could melt even the hardest heart. The memory was of Shepard and her father making this same climb, she was fourteen and it was the last time they had really spent together before he was killed in the operation on Mindoir.

It had taken closer to four hours to do the climb then and they had used safety equipment. But the unique thing about that climb was the journey back down. They were both wearing shutes and after they had admired the view from the top for the first time in her life she threw herself against gravity with nothing more protecting her that a microthin piece of fabric. It was the most exhilarating thing she had ever done in her life to that point.

After they broke apart Shepard saw that Liara had tears in her eyes and was obviously deeply moved, 'oh Shepard thank you, you were so young and he loved you so much… such a gift… I don't know what to say' she broke off and Shepard pulled her into a hug.

'Hey darling, it's one of my best and strongest memories and I wanted to share it with you here where it happened and I'm going to share my memory of the climb that I'm about to do now… so… well it seemed like a good idea at the time…' Shepard suddenly wondered if it was that great an idea after all she had only managed so far to make Liara very worried and now very upset.

'No one has ever done anything like this for me before Shepard, you planned this whole trip for me, this very precious memory… and the risks you take to give me another… and perhaps also to show me how brave and fearless you are…' as she spoke the last words Liara looked up into Shepard's eyes and smiled a look of amused questioning on her face.

Shepard gave her a big grin and a small chuckle 'aw well maybe just a little… can't have you thinking I've gone soft with all this soppy stuff' Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara deeply, stood up and over her shoulder said 'now relax, have a nap in the lovely sunshine, you won't miss anything… you get to do it with me when I get back down.'

Shepard made it to the top in just over two hours and she sat down not quite exhausted but almost. It had been harder than is should have been as she was still recovering from her injuries. She drank some water and stared out at the view savouring the power she could feel in her body from the exertion despite having pushed herself to a limit.

Before she made her dive of the edge she prepared to make only the third vow she had ever made in her life. The first was to do all in her power to find a cure for the genophage, the second was to do all in her power to help the Quarians take back their home world, and now she would make her third that Liara would know through her memory when they melded.

'I will never let any harm come to you and I will always come back to you, Liara,' then Shepard threw herself off the edge and enjoyed the following twenty seconds hurtling towards the ground as only someone withher particular disposition could.

Liara practically threw herself into Shepard's arms and held her so tight but she was laughing and couldn't wait to experience the climb and the parajump. Shepard succeeded in making Liara cry again when she heard her vow at the top of the mountain, but from acute emotional overload and not sadness… well at least that's what it sounded as if Liara said.

They both felt incredibly sad leaving the at the end of their time on Hasperos and agreed they would return, if Shepard was another kind of woman she might even have been tempted to think about building a house close to the lake and the mountains that had been their favourite spot.

But even if she was that kind of woman she wouldn't be able to do that… not until… because even remote, peaceful Hasperos would feel the cold, emotionless obliteration of the Reapers if they couldn't stop it happening, if she couldn't stop it happening.

They ended their leave at the Prothean Archives on Mars… of course Shepard had said… where else would Liara have chosen Shepard had thought laughing to herself… and being a Spectre and a 'hero' she could arrange exclusive and privileged access for her Prothean expert. Which made Liara very happy and what made Liara happy made Shepard happy to.

All too soon they were heading the little scout ship, that had come to feel like home to them both, back towards the Arcturus Station, back to duty, back to her life.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N bit of a long chapter probably could have done with an edit towards the end, ah well, feedback is always welcome so please do let me know what you think.

Chapter 13

Once back on at Arcturus Shepard was on a roller coaster of military and political protocol and public relations.

With the Citadel having taken so much damage the Council had moved to Arcturus to take advantage of the infrastructure available. It was home to the Systems Alliance Parliament and choosing to base the Council on Arcturus, while the Citadel was un-useable, was also a show of unity and thanks to Humanity for the sacrifices they had made saving the Citadel and the Council.

The Parliament hosted an unprecedented joint session with representatives from the Asari Republics, Salarian Union and Turian Hierarchy, all the other Council space races ambassadors and of course in pride of place the Council itself. The event was simulcast across the Galaxy to further reinforce the unity and strength of the Council races.

Shepard already knew what big political and public relations coup was to be announced, Humanity would have a seat on the Council, a huge change in galactic politics which would not be particularly universally welcome. Admiral Hackett had asked for her recommendation for Councillor, or rather he was looking to see what her opinion of Udina for the role was.

'I'm not qualified to make any kind of comment sir, I know we need politicians and when we've worked out what for they may be of some use, but most of the time they just get in the way. And I have personal history with Udina who I think is a slimy, two faced, self-serving, untrustworthy son of a bitch. But as I said sir I couldn't possibly comment.' Shepard was standing at stiff ease in front of her Admiral in his office.

'I understand Commander,' Hackett was his usual poker face but she thought she saw a softening around the eyes 'what would you say to Captain Anderson?'

'An excellent choice, he is an outstanding human being and a fine officer. But he will hate it,' her reply was accompanied by a couple of small nods of the head from Hackett.

'I agree Commander and I know he will hate leaving active duty but we need him there.

Now let's discuss the military celebration that will follow the joint session and Council ceremony. You know you will be receiving a number of awards and I expect you to put on your best face. But I need your recommendations for your team and crew.

This is a military decision, I won't have them cheapened for the sake of politics, but your crew and your team did a hell of a thing Shepard and along with others engaged in the battle they deserve recognition.'

'Thank you Admiral, I have given it some thought and I would like to recommend the Normandy and her crew receive the Galactic Unit Citation and my whole ground team receive individual awards of the Star of Terra.' Shepard had snapped to attention to give her answer.

Hackett thought for a moment and then said 'it will need to be a Palladium Star each for your ground team, and yes that will include your non-human team members.'

'Thank you, sir. May I take the opportunity to confirm one other matter?' Hackett nodded and she continued, 'I would ask that my field promotion of Chief Williams to Lieutenant be confirmed and that she remains XO on the Normandy.'

'Agreed, and I hope it brings some peace and closure to the family. Judgements made by those who were not on the battlefield and who have never had to make those decisions themselves ruin reputations and lives. We both know as soldiers the decisions we make a rarely black and white, right or wrong.'

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Shepard always struggled with any kind of celebration or award aimed at her for what she saw was just doing her duty in the way she had been trained. She understood it was important to have positive role models but she didn't understand why it should be her.

Her crew, friends, team and particularly her mother disagreed. They thought it was the least the galaxy could do. That didn't stop Garrus and Wrex 'ripping the piss', as Ash put it, out of her.

Hate it all though she did, Shepard knew that the various governments were giving her their greatest military honour, as was her own. The Star of Terra from the Systems Alliance, Nova Cluster from the Turian Hierarchy and the Star of Sur'kesh from the Salarian Union were duly pinned or hung on Shepard who stood ramrod straight in full dress blues complete with her grandfather's Marine Corps sword.

The Asari Matriarch's awarded her the rank of Thessia Huntress; it was like getting the keys to the planet according to Garrus with a smirking twitch of his mandibles.

'Oh no Garrus you have been misinformed it is a great and rare honour that places Shepard's name amongst Asari Matriarch's who have made a huge difference or contribution to the Asari race. It has been given for military, political, philosophy… well any area of…' Liara seemed to run out of sentence and continued 'ah, that was another example of humorous teasing was it not?' She looked slightly embarrassed but everyone rallied around to smooth over the awkwardness.

'Well yes I do seem to be the only sport around today,' Shepard said giving a mock exasperated look at Garrus and Wrex, 'but I'm glad you explained it Liara, and it does sound like a huge honour. But can we get out of here now I am really losing the will to live with all these stuffed shirts, we did our bit lets hit the bar.'

The rest of the celebrating was conducted in one of the mess halls that had been set aside for 'Shepard's party' and she was really pleased it was invited guests only. That meant no rubber necking great and good but just her crew, friends, her mother and her Liara.

Captain Anderson forgave her for supporting his appointment as a Councillor in a good natured conversation where they both agreed that the worse part of the 'posting' would be having to work alongside Udina who would remain as the human ambassador.

'Yeah but you outrank him now… so I want to hear tales of just how unhappy Udina is getting all the crap assignments from his boss' Shepard smiled.

'Well that certainly put a bright side on the situation that I hadn't noticed before' and they both laughed, probably more than the joke was worth, but it just felt good to be able to laugh at ordinary, usual things without worrying about the monsters sitting biding their time in the dark.

It had been a really hard day for Shepard as she remembered the dead and the injured not just from the Citadel battle but from the start of what seemed like the most crazy ten months of her life, she wouldn't be to sorry to say goodbye to 2183.

Shepard took the accolades and the bravery awards on behalf of all those who had died fighting Sovereign and its Geth and in particular for one very brave and very missed young Quarian by the name of Tali. Shepard was proud and touched that Tali's father, who received her posthumous Palladium Star, had insisted that her name remain Tali'Zorah vas Normandy.

Two days later, fully equipped and resourced and with a handpicked, full, crew compliment Shepard ordered the Normandy to head out into the dark and towards Perseus Veil appearing to play their part in the continuing Eden Prime War chasing down rogue Geth. But the SSV Normandy and its Commander were hunting a very different prey and they would be on their own.

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After much discussion with her team, Captain, as he was, Anderson and Captain Hannah Shepard, Commander Shepard had made few significant changes both to the Normandy's set up and infrastructure and its crew.

The biggest change was the installation technology and research laboratory, and a science and tech team to staff it made up of highly vetted and trusted Alliance scientists and specialists, two Salarian scientists, and Dr Warren who would pick up her work on the Prothean Beacon network that she started on Eden Prime. The chief science officer and team leader was to be the young, gifted but enigmatic tech genius Dr Kasumi Goto. Shepard had been warned that Dr Goto was unorthodox in the extreme and some would describe her more as an adventurer than a serious scientist, but the Commander was looking for unorthodox, business as usual was not going to do.

There had been a couple of changes to her Marine squad, she was back up to full strength, ten including Brewster and Stevens, and she had promoted Brewster to Gunnery Sergeant. Corporal Stevens had received further medical training to enhance their field medic, corpsman, abilities including trauma treatment for non-humans.

But the most significant change was the addition of three Turaian's who were 'on loan' from CSec. They had all volunteers and Garrus knew, trusted and vouched for them. They were experienced soldiers so would hold their own in the ground team but they were also skilled investigators which would bring an added strength to the mission. Garrus would head up this sub-unit on their investigation, or undercover, work.

Dr Chakwas had also ensured that her medical unit, equipment, supplies and personnel were ready to deal even more effectively with non-human health and injury.

One place that Shepard hated going was engineering, she missed the young Quarian who she had taken under her wing and for whom Shepard had had a real personal fondness and friendship. Shepard also felt completely and absolutely responsible for Tali's death, not in the same way as she took responsibility for any death or injury for anyone under her command or acting on her orders. This was deeply personal, she couldn't quite dig into why. With Liara's help and support Shepard was learning to accept and live with it and not let it eat away at her, she would focus on honouring a vow and an un-payable debt.

Shepard called the first full briefing only a few hours out from Arcturus and present was her personal squad, Brewster as Marine team leader, the Science team, the Turian security team, Dr Chakwas and of course her XO, Lt Williams. Joker was hooked in through comms and as he pointed out 'yeah it's OK I can do two jobs at once, you know, not crash the Normandy, and just… listen…'

'You are all here because you can be trusted and you all either believe that the real threat to the Galaxy is the Reapers or you have an open mind about it.

We will be pursuing a particular path alongside, the Spectre duties I will continue perform as and when they come up, but our real mission is to uncover as much information and as many leads about the Reaper threat that we can.

And this includes the methods that they used the last time they carried out their galactic genocide, most dangerously their unseen, subtle control through indoctrination. This allowed them to disrupt and hinder the response to their arrival; and prepare the way.

You all have your own areas of expertise and existing knowledge, you will receive work to carry out in a primary role but we must share all information, theories and pieces of intelligence. We are hunting a very, very dangerous enemy and one that has perhaps millions of years to know how to cover their tracks.

We have to find the patterns and for this we will be receiving help directly from a newly formed top secret intelligence gathering section on Arcturus Station. Their work will be monitoring the huge amount of comms traffic using both official and unofficial 'channels'.'

They would also monitor the extranet, sifting through the ordinary, mundane; often outrageous content and the seemingly never ending number conspiracy theories. Often the best place to hide secrets is in plain sight but as a grain of sand on a beach.

'This intelligence team will work closely with you guys in the science and research team.' Shepard also knew that the Admiral Hackett, now head of the Alliance Navy, had put Captain Shepard in charge of the work but she would remain aboard the Kilimanjaro and continue as it's XO. Hannah Shepard would also continue to provide an unofficial direct link between the Admiral and Shepard.

The questions and discussion started and Shepard let it run until everyone felt they had a clear handle on what was expected of them, what their true mission was and how they would work together. Shepard stood up and walked to the edge of the QEC console turned and took a very typical pose, leaning against the rail, weight on one leg and arms crossed, the room fell silent.

'Our course is set for the Perseus Veil which is where we have information from a Spectre report that Sovereign was hiding out before the hit on the Citadel. This is also the fault line between us and the Geth.

There is another reason to head for the Veil. Dr T'Soni would you like to fill the team in please?' Shepard remained where she was but focussed her attention of Liara and all eyes followed.

'Thank you Commander. In 2162 a Batarian aristocrat by the name of Edan Had'dah had scout and search teams working very close to the Perseus Veil and they found an artifact. He visited the site sometime after the 2163 and from what we now know of indoctrination, thanks to our experience with Saren,' Liara stiffened just slightly mentioning his name, 'we are confident that the artifact was Reaper in origin and that it began to affect him.'

'We have no idea where this artifact is now, or what it was, but we have to follow up on all leads. Dr T'Soni please continue,' Shepard moved back to sit at the table.

'In 2163 the Alliance set up a secret research facility on Sidon to… well this is…' Liara became suddenly troubled and unsure as to how to proceed.'

'What Dr T'Soni is trying to be diplomatic about is that an element within the Systems Alliance thought it would be a good idea to break galactic law and start doing research into AI tech. And that is something we will just need to suck up, we know we have skeletons in our Alliance closets,' Shepard realised she had used a very obscure old Earth idiom and as one Ash, Joker and Garrus said 'look it up on the extranet'. This brought some smiles around the table which helped relieve the tension for which Shepard was grateful. She nodded to Liara to continue.

'Yes, well, where were we… the Sidon facility project leader was Dr Shu Qian and according to reports from the time he was working on a newly discovered artifact that could have pre-dated the Protheans.

The facility was attacked and completely destroyed in 2165 but Dr Shu Qian faked his own death and joined Edan Had'dath to continue their work.

Again it is clear that they were both, by then, highly indoctrinated. The artifact was never found and both died in 2165,' Liara finished.

'There is another lead that we are looking into and this work is being led by Dr Kirossa,' she looked at one of the Salarian scientist and nodded again to indicate it was his turn to contribute.

'Yes very interesting and fairly well documented is the incident that occurred around 2163 in the Dis System. A Batarian survey team, and at this point I am afraid we have nothing to link this incident with Edan Had'dath, a survey team on Jartar found the remains of some form of massive organic being or ship.

Salarian intelligence managed to capture some vid evidence and we are certain it is a Reaper 'corpse'. Before we could investigate further we had a report of a Batarian dreadnought in the system and the Reaper, as we know it now, disappeared.' Dr Kirossa finished speaking but his head was still nodding slightly and he appeared to be in deep thought, when Shepard thanked him he visibly jumped.

'So there we have it, at least two clear and confirmed leads on Reaper tech or an actual Reaper… you have your orders, we have our mission… thank you all.' With that the assembled crew began to break up but conversations were starting between individuals and also small groups, they continued talking and discussing in various shades of excitement as they left the room.

The remaining occupants drew closer around Shepard, Liara, Garrus, Wrex and Ash, her team, her close team, who had seen first-hand what Reapers and their indoctrinated followers were capable of.

'We have another complication that we need to look into,' she said 'Cerberus is interested in anything Reaper of that I am convinced and they have agents at all levels of Systems Alliance military and political structures. They need to be dealt with as a terrorist organisation but I am more concerned about whether they will get in our way or even, and it really goes against everything I hold honourable to say, whether they help.' Shepard's face looked murderous. The fact that realistically, and as any good military strategist, she had to consider all assets that could deliver her objectives, she had to give any head space to Cerberus being 'helpful' was causing her almost physical pain.

'Agreed Shepard,' Garrus spoke and looked troubled, eyes fixed on his hands on the table in front of him, 'our problem is that they are so dispersed and in to so many things we are not going to have the resources to tackle them and our main mission.'

There were more nods around the table.

'Nail on the head Garrus, so we need to tune out the shitty stuff that will drive me crazy so we can keep our focus.' Shepard smiled around at her team, 'Drinks in the observation lounge later and later I may be persuaded to play a little poker… if someone could teach me the rules,' she finished the last comment with a wide grin, met with smiles and laughter from all around the table, Shepard was notorious for playing down her ability to play the game very well.

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Shepard looked across at Liara who was already in bed studying a data pad intensely and surrounded by at least another four drifting off the pile on her lap.

'Hey sexy what you working on,' she smiled across and felt a familiar tenderness sweep through her mind towards her lover.

Liara looked up and smiled lazily, 'oh nothing that will not wait until tomorrow.' She gathered up the pads and put them on the side, settled back against the pillows and let out a deep sigh.

'You all relaxed over there Doctor,' Shepard began stripping off and was aware that Liara was watching her.

'Is it terrible of me to be so happy when such terrible things are going to happen… are happening,' Liara had that look on her face that Shepard was now very familiar with, trying to puzzle out a confusing problem, it was such an endearing look… although Shepard couldn't think of any look that crossed Liara's face that could not be described as attractive, or sexy, or cute… Maybe I should just admit I am completely besotted by her, Shepard thought, and then remembered she had been asked a question.

'The whole reason we are doing what we're doing is because there is something worth fighting for, this is what we're fighting for darling. The right for everyone of us in the galaxy to live the life we choose, or try to, to try to find love and happiness…,' Shepard trailed off, it wasn't the kind of thing she was used to saying and probably before she had met and fallen in love with Liara she would have deflected any such serious question with a joke.

'You are right of course… and… time… is… I mean we never truly know how much time we have do we…,' Liara reached an arm out as Shepard slid into bed next to her and they folded into a kiss but before they had a chance to deepen the kiss into anything else the comms sparked up and Ash's tentative voice sounded in the room.

'Really sorry skipper but we are just passing through the Exodus Cluster and we're picking up some kind of distress call.'

'On my way, meet me in the comms room Ash,' Shepard gave Liara a kiss on the forehead and slid back out of bed.

As Liara made to do the same Shepard said, 'no you don't this won't take long, keep my side warm for me.'

'I will keep everything warm for you,' Liara said and then blushed violently at her own words. Shepard let out a small laugh she found it so cute that Liara could still be really shy at times, aw hell Shepard tell me something about her you don't find cute, she thought to herself as she left the bedroom and headed for whatever trouble Ash had waiting for her.

It was over fifty minutes by the time they could piece together what was going on. The distress messages were being sent by someone on the asteroid that was being moved into place in orbit around Terra Nova, whoever it was couldn't speak for long as they were hiding from the terrorists who had landed and started killing the science team and their support staff.

'So best we can work out is Batarian terrorists have taken control of the asteroid and targeted it for a direct hit on Terra Nova using the guidance thrusters.

From our calculations the changes they've made to the trajectory of that rock means we have less than two hours to get it turned away before it reaches a point of no return.' Shepard was laying out the situation to the full ground team, including Liara who had joined Shepard and Ash as soon as they realised it would be a rescue mission.

'Do we know what size force they have on the ground?' Wrex asked managing to sound eager for there to be a decent force level to make it interesting.

'No clear intel on that,' Ash replied, 'our contact in the complex can only say for certain they have control of the three thruster sites and a large force in the main facility.'

'There is no time to wait for any help from the planet and no other Alliance ships will be able to get here in time,' Liara said, she had worked on the calculations and so had a heightened awareness of the time pressure.

Shepard, Garrus and Brewster had been looking at the schematics of the facility and the thruster sites and had formulated a plan which would give them the best chance of success at speed.

'Two teams, one will take the mako the other the shuttle. Garrus will lead the mako team and I will lead the shuttle team. We'll hit thrusters one and two first then Garrus will move on to thruster three and I will move to the main facility.

We take back control of the rock and put it back on a safe course and take down anyone in our way… oh yeah and according to our mystery woman there are hostages in the main facility… so let's move it.' Shepard and the team moved quickly to the cargo bay. Shepard's team was first away in the shuttle while the mako team had to wait for the Normandy to get to drop height.

Liara was going to stay on board and so that she could work on the revised calculations and pass through final instructions when they had regained control of the thrusters. Shepard's team was Ash, Wrex and half the marine squad while Garrus would take the other half and the Turian security squad.

Shepard's team reached their target first and had to negotiate a sonic minefield while taking fire from what seemed to be highly trained and effective Batarian troops. These were no ragged merc band; this was a professional crew they were facing. Shepard was just glad they had taken out the defence turrets from the shuttle.

'Fuckin love it when your own defences are used against you,' she had said as they did a first fly by before taking the turrets out.

'Garrus what is your ETA on target', she called over their OT comms.

'Just leaving the bay now, estimate three minutes,'

'Defence turrets and sonic mines on site,' she said, 'when we're done here we'll take those out at your next target before we move on to the main facility.'

'Copy that Shepard,' Garrus replied 'see you on the other side,' and Shepard could hear the smile in his voice.

She had to admit it did feel good to be fighting something, someone she understood, she was, after all a marine, this is what she did.

They were confronted with well organised resistance, not only Batarian troops but shock troops and engineers. But they worked their way through the facility by the numbers, clinically, like a well oiled machine. Time was not on their side.

Once the area was secured Shepard found the thruster control panel she hacked back control and secured it to her OT. They needed to set all three thrusters at the same time from the main facility, the timing would be critical and all thrusters needed to be set off in unison.

Garrus and his team were right behind them and already on their way to the third and final thruster site by the time the shuttle was airborne.

They dropped the shuttle down behind some buildings and made their way to one of the service entrances in an effort to get a least a small element of surprise, but their welcome party knew they were coming from monitoring the comms traffic between the Batarians.

Slipping silently in and making their way up a long access corridor they checked storage rooms as they went and as Shepard checked one that looked more like an office she could see someone was hiding behind the desk.

'Come out slow,' she said and as the figure stood he looked petrified and seemed to be waving a gun in his hand and before she could say anything else it went off and something slammed into her kinetic barriers.

'Put that fucking thing down now,' she shouted and this time levelled her weapon at the man.

He dropped the gun and at the same time said 'I thought you were them… I thought… I'm sorry… did I…,' Shepard cut him off.

'Do I look like a fucking Batarian… never mind all that, I'm fine,' she had been joined in the room by Ash and Wrex, 'tell me what you know… how many Batarian's how many hostages something helpful for nearly taking my head off… that'll teach me not to shoot first,' she mumbled the last bit more to herself but Wrex heard her and smiled.

But they got nothing from the scientist; he was too far gone in shock, worried about his kids and grandkids on the planet and his co-workers, some of whom he had already seen dead.

Shepard told him to hunker back down where he was and they'd come back for him, civilians with weapons were as dangerous as defences that fell into enemy hands, she thought as they set off again to find the main terrorist force.

'So will you tell Liara you got shot by some old guy with a pop gun or are you going to let her find out when I tell Garrus,' Wrex was chuckling to himself and even Ash was trying not to smile.

'Yeah yeah go ahead… have fun… I can make your life difficult it you really piss me off though so…well…' Shepard trailed off knowing she would just have to take the teasing. But next time, she thought, I'm not gonna give anyone the benefit of the doubt, bloody civilians.

They met the full force of Batarian's in the main area of the facility. It was on two levels with a balcony around the second level and the Batarian's had dug in pretty well, but Shepard didn't think they wanted to go down with the rock so they had to be feeling some pressure, it would be interesting to see if that made them sloppy.

The fire fight had been raging for around ten minutes by the time they were joined by Garrus and his team. That turned the tide and they were able to start a flanking move which would also take them to the main control room which, rather than immediately clearing out the terrorists, was their primary target.

They needed to get those thrusters online and the rock turned away from Terra Nova. When they got control of the room Shepard transferred command of her thruster to Garrus and left him to work with Liara to make the asteroid safe.

She led the rest of the ground team on an all out attack to neutralise the Batarian's. After another ten minutes, by which time Garrus and Liara had put the asteroid back into a safe orbit; Shepard had the rump of the enemy pinned down.

'I will make a deal with you Human scum,' the shout came from the obvious leader of the terrorists.

'Nice, start with an insult you murdering bastard… what could you possibly have to deal with,' she shouted back from cover.

'We have hostages and we have set explosive charges on a timer, if you let us walk out now you will have time to get to them and save them.. if you fight us you will not,' he said and then added 'you are Shepard the butcher of Elysium and Torfan.'

'Well if you know me then you'll know I don't give up… and I won't give in to blackmail.

Tell me, not that I give a rats ass but why would you want to destroy a planet and kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people?' as she was speaking she was directing Ash to take a small squad to work around to a position where they could snipe out the remaining resistance.

'You ask why after all you Humans have done to us, stolen from us, you will feel the hatred and revenge of the Batarian people as long as you live, this is just the start; this is direct reprisal for what you did on Elysium and Torfan… now you pay the price' Shepard heard the voice of an absolute fanatic, full of hatred who would indeed not stop here. Whatever the cost she would put him down or someone else would just have to deal with him next time.

'You pissed at us because you couldn't hold onto your own territory… you whiny little fuck… against my better judgement I am going to give you and your little friends one chance to give up, that offer will expire the next time you open your miserable mouth and say anything other than I surrender,' she had confirmation that Ash and her team were in place, she checked with her team and they were all set on her mark.

She couldn't actually make out what his reply was, it was a distorted raving rant, angry and vicious and didn't sound anything like I surrender. Shepard didn't wait to listen to more than a few seconds worth before giving the order.

'Go, go, go' at which point a hailstorm of assault rifle fire from the front and sniper shots from the guardian angel positions Ash's team had taken up silenced the rant and very little gunfire came back.

Within a couple of minutes it was all over and the leader who she now recognised as Balak and a couple of his remaining troops threw out their weapons and surrendered.

As they made their way towards Shepard they all heard an explosion from somewhere behind the Batarian positions and Balak made the mistake of smiling at her.

'You could not save them Shepard I can still kill you worthless cowards and you can do nothing,' he didn't seem to notice or he wasn't bothered by the cold, emotionless calm that had fallen over Shepard that was reflected in her eyes.

'You think I can't do anything to you,' she asked him quietly 'you know I was on Torfan and you think I can do nothing?'

Shepard turned to Ash and said,' take those two out to the shuttle we'll hand them over to the local authorities on Terra Nova. The rest of you move out and begin a search and secure sweep of the facility, he stays with me,' she finished pointing at Balak.

'I'll just wait over here,' Garrus said and walked off to one side nursing his rifle while the rest of the ground team moved out.

When they were alone Shepard turned to Balak, unclipped her hand canon and threw it over at his feet, Garrus stiffened.

'You do nothing Garrus, my orders, you do nothing,' she said without taking her eyes of Balak.

'Why don't you just put a bullet in my head like you did on Torfan or have you gone soft like the rest of your miserable bastard race' Balak spat out the words but was eyeing the gun trying to work out if he had a chance.

'Pick it up or we fight hand to hand… choose which way you're going to die,' Shepard's voice steady, cold, quiet.

'I would not soil my hands on you,' he shouted as he rolled in a smooth movement picking up the hand canon and finding his feet closer to her but Shepard had pulled out her shotgun and it was lined up with his head before he had a chance to pull his trigger.

The shot rang around the large space, echoing off the walls even after Balak's body had dropped to the floor in a pool of blood and brains.

Without taking her eyes of his body she shipped her shotgun walked over and picked up her hand canon and only then did she turn and walk away, Garrus following a discreet distance behind his Commander.

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A/N Music and Visuals available on youtube head for www youtube com/watch?v=9ahNXo7wDmM&feature=

connect the gaps with dots :)


	14. Chapter 14

A/N So sorry about the delay posting this chapter, I was writing two at the same time, events could have happened a different way, but in the end this is the way Shepard is reliving it, who am I to argue. Good news is the next chapter is written and only needs a revise and edit, so you won't have long to wait

Chapter 14

A thrumming vibration pulsed through her body making Shepard aware of her surroundings through the medium of raw pain. It was so acute it had dragged her from wherever her mind had taken her… but as awareness settled like a thunderous black sky, her mind railed against accepting she was here… again…

'No… no… I got out… I'm on the fucking Normandy' Shepard was doing her best to shout angrily; 'I got out…' she ended quietly almost in a sob of defeat.

She tried to calm herself, using some mediation techniques, but that was problematic given her chosen technique was 'following the breath' and she had little to follow.

Then trying logic and reason… which ended in the frustration of still not being able to piece together where she was or how she had gotten here.

"Feel into in Livvie" her father's voice from somewhere, strong, encouraging and like a safety blanket for her tortured mind, "don't let it control you, it's your pain, your fear, own it, embrace it, then you're back in the driving set." A brief glimpse of his eyes a light touch on her head and he was gone, back into the void of the dead.

Shepard noticed the memory had triggered a connection with that old place of pain and she was crying, or rather she was being shaken by harsh raking sobs, and the deep old wound of her loss took her as it had when she was fifteen.

It was the finality of death that struck Shepard hardest… never… never again, seeing them, hearing their voice, mostly never realising which would be their last conversation, no last word of love or regret…

And it was Liara she was thinking of, feeling the loss of… not knowing if she was alive or dead, if Shepard had let her down, got her killed, it was tearing her apart more than physical pain or the mental anguish at her own situation.

Shepard felt a wave of exhaustion flood through her, accompanied by the familiar drifting away, upwards towards the escape she seemed to be able to still, just, craft for herself.

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She felt the sun on her back and sand between her toes, cliffs at the rear of the beach seemed to be occupied by thousands of white birds, a lot like Earth gulls, flying in and out, calling their harsh, guttural, shouts that Shepard always found endearing.

Swirling in elegant circles up into the blue Shepard allowed her eyes to follow and tried to feel what it would be like to be riding the thermals with them.

Shepard's attention was drawn to the groups of people on the beach, all enjoying a perfect day, some swimming in the clear blue waters which were now lapping around her ankles.

She started to look, search the beach for her friends, her team… Shepard became distraught; franticly searching for Liara… she was on the beach somewhere… Shepard knew it in her bones and it terrified her… the gulls screeched louder and louder as her efforts became more desperate running up to and then passing groups of all species, young, old, babies, searching, searching… behind her black shadows closed in over the sky, turning the golden sand she had just walked over black and the people she passed desiccated into shrivelled, long dead mummified remains as the darkness flowed across them.

Shepard felt fear and panic grip, cold, vicelike, both running away from the gathering darkness chasing her and trailing it in her wake… she was the focus of this destruction and also focused it on all she touched.

As the beach and the gulls cries faded to mist in front of her she began to run, stumbling, heavy armour weighing down, slowing her down, pistol in hand but when she tried to fire behind her it just let out a screech… and she was so frightened now she didn't want to look behind… every pore of her body was sweating fear… the sense of something, someone, the darkness closing in on her, chasing her down… closer until she felt it about to engulf her… wrapping her in its void… ending all hope of saving anyone… anything…

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Shepard jerked awake and sat straight up, unfocussed eyes picking out the gentle safety lighting around the door of the cabin, the soft glow from her desk and the holographic interface. She put her face in her hands and steadied her breathing, feeling the warmth of Liara's body next to her.

When she had steadied herself she looked over at Liara's peaceful, sleeping form. Shepard gently touched the blue shoulder with the back of one of her hands then carefully slipped out of bed.

Pulling on black vest that showed off her trap's, pec's and deltoids perfectly, Shepard allowed herself a smile at the thought Liara would have enjoyed the sight as she often did at times of dress and undress. She zipped up her hoodie and stepped out of her cabin straight to the galley to find some coffee.

The ship was on the night quarter shift which delivered only basic, essential, crewing, and the equivalent of a night watch. Time was… well always time… but once Humanity joined the galactic community it was all Galactic Mean Time and atomic clocks. All time across the Galaxy was measured in GMT and the 'day' length bore no resemblance to any particular planet or species cycle. It had been taken as an average of all known data at the time of setting. It worked, it was essential, and after all on ships there was no night and day, just the everlasting black and passing light show.

There was local time of course but very much like the old Earth time zones, all local time was superseded by Galactic. Local 'days' were much more likely to be recognised as the typical light and dark event planet side but the date was also proscribed using the Galactic Common Era.

The Earth based Circadian Rhythms, still present on her blue home, gave way to Free-running Rhythm amongst the spacer community, and the rhythms of other stars on colonies across Alliance Space. Adjustment for some who joined the Navy was occasionally very difficult but the transition was eased with meds.

Mug in hand she began her 'tour'. The Normandy had had some internal space remodelling to prepare them for their unique mission but they were still constrained by the overall size of the ship. It was a tight fit, with fifty crew rather than the usual forty, the decision to leave the mess hall, which included a lounge area as big as possible had been a good one.

Sleeper pods and racks (like those the ground fire team used) were only for actual sleep, all other off duty time and relaxation took place in the mess. It worked well to ensure the different teams had a chance to mix to together, they all had their own roles but they were one crew and it felt like that anytime she walked through the mess almost anytime apart from this most quiet of all shifts.

The comms/conference room, now housing QEC rather than FTLC, doubled as a base for the information, research and analysis team led by Liara, who spent most of her working time in the room with her two comms/scientist/tech specialists. Shepard still also used it for the confidential mission briefings.

In the hold they had installed a much expanded armoury; it still had the Mako but also a Kodiak; this area also accommodated the marine team, security team and Wrex.

Shepard walked into engineering and for a fleeting second saw the ghost of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy standing at her console, then it was gone and Shepard's eyes were drawn to the truly beautiful Tantalus Drive. She walked over and spoke to the young engineer on babysitting duty; Carter was a new addition and hadn't met the young Quarian but knew of her skill and bravery.

Heavy shouldered Shepard made her way to the command centre and on up to the cockpit. Sitting in the co-pilot seat she let her eyes relax and let the sight of the galaxy passing faster than light past the windows soothe her as it always did.

If the comms control room was Liara's 'office' then this was Shepard's. She spent most of her time up here when not in meetings or engaged in other duties. She ran the ship from here and took a few of the pilot shifts when Joker was off duty. Shepard felt more at peace here than anywhere else on the ship, it was as if she could drop into some other level of consciousness where her duties were clear and she was fully able to deliver them.

Doubts, constant questions about intel, patterns, where, what, who… why… could be tamed, her mind clear, with all the chaos happening unconsciously, like a background programme.

Back in the cabin Liara had gotten out of bed as soon as Shepard left the room, she knew that sometimes her troubled lover needed space to herself. Liara started working at the console but would make sure she was back in bed in time for Shepard to 'wake' her with a breakfast Asari tea.

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The Normandy, still in stealth mode, settled into an orbit above Lorek. The Kodiak had undergone a 'paint job' with all alliance markings removed and a well-worn, shabby appearance applied.

Garrus and his security team made up of the Turian CSec officers climbed aboard wearing second hand armour, procured for the mission, and having made whatever adjustments they could to their physical appearance. They would pick up a shuttle on the surface and head for Omega. They were going to operate undercover and try to find out about rumours (from intercepted extranet comms) of a disturbance that had involved human slaves.

But the real interest lay in the fact that Aria T'Loak herself had become involved, personally, and there had been no further information about the incident. This triggered the flag on the intel, the silence was highly unusual as when the Queen of Omega got personally involved she was always sending a message about her power and influence.

Shepard would give Garrus and his team a couple of weeks and then head for Omega herself, in the meantime the Normandy would be working its way along the edge of the Perseus Veil scanning for any trace, looking for any indications as to what happened to the Reaper corpse and the artefact.

Then the Normandy would head back into the Omega Nebula and work its way through the six systems contained within it ending with Sahrabarik, home to the Omega station.

Their routine on hitting a new system was the same, a full fly through and multiple scans of the system space and every planet. Next was a visit groundside to every facility, there was a lot of mining activity, every settlement, no matter how large or small, or any permanent orbiting platform.

Shepard's team were posing as a group of merc's who had been hired to find out information, unusual activity, was looking for someone (who always remained un-named), trying to buy or track down strange or advanced tech, the 'job' they were on would depend on how well it would play locally.

Like Garrus and his team they had second hand, dumbed down armour, and Shepard kept her helmet on as much as possible, there were a lot of Batarian's around who would have queued up to take down the 'hero' of Elysium and the 'butcher' or Torfan.

Shepard was not used to hiding from her reputation or her deeds, and it did not sit well with her, she was in a foul temper most of the time they were groundside, but she knew they would learn nothing if everyone they met knew she was not only a Spectre but also 'that' Alliance officer.

She also found it torture to be around so many obvious slavers and pirates and not be able to do anything about it… to them… Shepard had to walk away more than once in the process of listening to 'the last raid' or 'the next job' to stop herself from instinctively pulling her shotgun and 'taking their fukin smiling bastard heads off' as she had said to Brewster later when they were back on the shuttle.

Wrex 'led' the team and only Dr Goto regularly joined them, Liara would have drawn too much attention and they were already looking a bit out of place as it was. Shepard also needed Ash on the Normandy just in case anything went wrong or they, somehow, despite their stealth, ran into trouble topside.

Dr Kasumi Goto was not only a tech and science genius but was very handy in a tight fix. She had spent time 'living in the real world on her wits' when asked around the mess table how she came to be so useful in a fight, after a particularly close call when her hacking and stealth kill ability made the difference between amusing story and serious injury.

They worked their way through the systems and results were mixed but the initial reception was always hostile. From hostile and aggressive it would go one of two ways. Wrex would be able to persuade the local's that they could benefit from the transaction or he would unleash hell on their heads and beat the answers out of them, cheaper for him and more fun for his Krantt.

Wrex was a reasonably well know merc so they had credibility, and his reputation assured them respect once the 'ground rules' had been established.

By far the most interesting information that they had picked up was related to increased activity of a mysterious race that lived on the other side of the Omega 4 relay. And their interest seemed to be focussed on Human's.

They had been named the Collectors because of their bizarre, even for the Terminus System, trading requests which always involved live specimens in exchange for advanced tech.

Appearing and then disappearing back through the Omega 4 relay their visits were rare but certainly stories of their trading dated back at least two hundred years. Kasumi got a particularly old and ravaged looking Batarian pirate, after a considerable amount of drink, to talk about the contact he had with them over sixty years ago.

"We heard they wanted twenty left handed Salarian's… everyone knew the reward would be good, I had family who worked with them the last time they showed up… we got them their Salarian's but a merc gang had already turned up with ten…" all four of his bleary eyes looked wistful and he was swaying slightly in his seat, he smiled and continued "so we agreed to share the reward… ha stupid Krogan's, didn't see it coming… good day… we got all the tech, sold it for big creds, ten valuable Salarian slaves left over from trade… only wanted twenty… and got to kill stupid Krogan mercs… ha."

The grinding of teeth and low growls were coming from both Shepard and Wrex, the Batarian didn't notice and Kasumi was pumping him for a description of the tech they had received for the trade, trying to work out how advanced, for the time, it would have been.

On the way back to the Normandy they decided to do a very quick run through the Amada system and then head for the Batarian planet of Lorek and its capital Jalnor. The planet had a population of around four and a half million and the capital was a proper city so they would spend a couple of days following up on the increased Collector activity.

Back on the Normandy Shepard set a course for the Amada system and scheduled a review conference for a the next morning, also sending a request for any and all information relating to unexplained Human disappearances, patters in similarities of people who may have gone missing over the last three months, that was when the Collectors had most recently re-appeared.

Something was stirring in the back of Shepard's mind, something just on the edge of her awareness was triggered from the descriptions of the Collectors… something that had fear attached to it… Shepard didn't like that, she didn't 'do' fear.

She headed for her cabin to take a long shower which she hoped would relieve some of the tension that had built up over the two weeks they had been searching the Veil and latterly the Omega Nebula.

Standing bent forward so that her hands were on the back wall of the shower and the hot spray was hitting the back of her neck Shepard felt a familiar pair of hands and then arms wrap themselves around her waist. Liara pressed her body tight against her lover and Shepard straightened up to make full contact with the Asari's breasts.

Liara's hands moved expertly across her lover's body, caressing, teasing, exploring… Shepard felt her desire and need burn through her body and take her breath away, and just as she began to turn around Liara drifted her fingers down… down… tracing outer lips… gently drifting between inner lips and slowly back up to where a hard, burning, throbbing clit was sending pulses of pleasure through Shepard's body…

Lying on the bed, bodies intertwined, still damp from the shower, Shepard allowed herself a deep, relaxed and satisfied sigh. Liara kissed Shepard's neck and ran her fingers through still slightly wet hair.

"I would like for us to join in the sea when we visit my home on Thessia," Liara said quietly, almost shyly and Shepard was reminded again that her Asari was still, most of the time the shy, awkward, unsure young woman she had met in a mine not very long ago.

"That sounds lovely… hey why didn't we think of that when we had our leave," Shepard said and leaned down to kiss Liara's forehead, 'but I do love it when you come and find me in the shower,' she said tenderly with a smile.

They moved into each other, breast to breast and thighs against each other's heat, they began kissing, deep, long, searching kisses drifting them into another joining.

"Commander you have a priority emergency message call from Admiral Hackett" Ash's voice rang around the cabin.

Shepard pulled herself back from Liara with a small sigh of regret, and smiling down at Liara said, "Copy that Ash, join me in the comms room, I'll be there in ten."

"Aye, aye skipper."

Shepard rolled off the bed and stood looking down at the smiling Asari who was doing her best to look as tempting as possible, at least in Shepard's head Liara was trying to look tempting, and succeeding… Shepard inwardly shook herself to bring her mind back to the task in hand.

"Come on you, might as well find out what particular shit we will have to deal with, priority calls from Hackett rarely bring anything but trouble for me," Shepard ended with a small laugh but they both knew she wasn't joking.

Ten minutes later she was standing in front of the QEC as Hackett's holographic image sparked to life in front of her.

After snapping a precision salute to the Admiral, Shepard stood stiffly at ease. Ash stood ramrod straight at attention to Shepard's left and Liara was sitting down on the side of the conference table looking concerned.

"Commander we have uncovered intelligence that indicates an attempt to assassinate the Batarian ambassador, Jath'Amon, is planned and will be carried out while he is on the Citadel negotiating with the Council. I need you to start looking into any connections within the Terminus System, see what you can uncover."

"Do you need me back at the Citadel?" she asked and was already calculating how long it would take to get across, three possibly four days with maxed out speeds, hardly a lightening response.

"No Commander you're too far away but you are in the right place to see if you can get a lead on the terrorist group that comprise the threat. The Council has pulled all Spectres onto the Citadel who are within a day's travel, CSec has deployed special teams and we have a special ops undercover team that will be landing in a few minutes." Hackett said and then in a gruffer tone of voice, "I don't like it Commander, the Batarian's suddenly want to talk peace with the Council, something isn't right."

"Agreed Admiral, what do they have to gain for a start, and can you really see the Batarian Hegemony making nice with us, which is what they'd have to do to get back in with the Council. Sir, with all due respect," Shepard felt Ash shift slightly next to her; they both knew that 'with all due respect' from a marine usually meant the opposite.

"Let me guess what your about to ask," Hackett cut in, he was so hard to read but she didn't detect any annoyance, "why am I so concerned about a threat to the Batarian Ambassadors life?"

"Well, yes sir, given the… our current relationship with the Batarian's," she replied slightly uncomfortably suddenly realising her response had been all Alliance and not a thought for her Spectre role.

"My concern is the protection of the Council, if this is to be carried out on the Citadel then it may well put the Council in danger as they are meeting fairly consistently both in private and in public throughout the Ambassadors stay," Hackett finished.

"That does put a different completion on it," Shepard was annoyed with herself that she hadn't caught this as a possibility earlier, "I'll make straight for Lorek and then on to Omega, Garrus is already operating on Omega I will put him on this immediately."

"Thank you Commander, we will keep you updated, let me know if you manage to shake anything loose, Hackett out."

Shepard and Ash joined Liara at the table, it was late evening and by the time they reached Lorek it would be morning but they could start revisiting the information they had gathered to analyse it for these new circumstances.

It was agreed Liara would call her team together and start working with Arcturus on intelligence, Liara would also ask Kasumi to join them. Ash would go and brief the ground team and Shepard would brief Garrus.

"Joker set a course for Lorek and get me Garrus on comms," Shepard said to her almost ever present pilot.

"Aye, aye Commander."

And as Ash went out to prepare the ground and ask Wrex to join them in the comms room, Shepard and Liara waited for the link to Garrus to go live for a briefing and any update on what he had uncovered over the last couple of days on Omega.'

As the Normandy turned away from the Amada system, a new and very dangerous enemy was looking for Shepard, silently, patiently waiting in the dark, waiting to bring the darkness to Shepard…


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

They deployed to Jalnor with the full team but only Wrex, Shepard and Brewster left the shuttle and made their way into the City, they wanted to be as invisible as possible. They found the bar they were looking for which was right in the centre of the City, located on one side of a fairly large open square. They went inside and waited for their contact to show up.

Alliance special operations ran operatives in the Terminus Systems although the focus of their intelligence was slavers and piracy, trying to gather early warnings of major raids and any organised Batarian military activity. Alliance intelligence was determined never to be caught out by another Elysium.

"I wonder what ordinary Batarian's are really like,' Shepard mused into the drink in her hand that she had no intention of consuming. She noticed the puzzled looks on her companion's faces. 'Well we only ever see the ones who are allowed off or who get away from Batarian systems or their home world. Their government are real jerks, controlling, no freedoms, and no comms in or out of their system for the general population. So maybe we only get to see the worst of them.'

"Shepard you worry me sometimes, you think way too much for someone so handy with a shotgun," Wrex barked a laugh that was echoed around the table and Shepard gave him a sheepish grin.

"Yeah well, understanding they have a crap government and shitty lives on in their home system won't stop me killing the fuckwits if they piss me off," Shepard finished with a smile and a couple of nods of the head.

Still, the thought stayed with her, the Batarian Hegemony was a truly brutal and oppressive government and she wondered if it would be better if the Batarian's made peace and the Council had some influence.

She was brought back from her thoughts by the unmistakable sound of a re-breather and heavy steps heading in their direction.

"I believe we have an appointment Earth clan" he said his words punctuated by the rhythm of his air pump.

"Yes we do," Shepard responded as the Volus sat himself down at the table "I believe we have some business to transact?"

"I am not happy about this, if we are seen, but what am I to do, I am told, ordered," he trailed off and then rallied and in a much more confident and business like voice said, "where are my manners, I am Vert Plunes, financial advisor and banker to some of the most dangerous and powerful groups within the Blue Suns and a Batarian corporation specialising in, hum, should we say, workforce provision." He sat back seemingly satisfied that he would now receive his due respect.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him, she knew he was on the Alliance payroll but that would probably be due to some leverage over him rather than a noble sense of public duty. And as far as Shepard was concerned if you helped murdering slaving bastards in any way, and especially if you accepted their blood money for pay, you were as guilty as they were.

"Let's just cut the crap and get to the point shall we,' Shepard's voice was quiet and calm but the first flashes of fiery anger were warming her chest, "give me what you have on terrorists who may be linked to the plot to kill the Batarian Ambassador."

The Volus said nothing and Shepard had the feeling he was trying to weigh up whether he could get away with being indignant at his treatment, he appeared to come to a decision and sat further forward leaning into the table.

"I have not had a lot of time but I have, through careful record keeping, we must all keep our accounts in order, we never know when we are to be audited…' he caught Shepard's inpatient eye and continued quickly, "yes well as I say, careful… yes… there is one group who have worked for a particular Batarian political group who are most likely to be behind the terrorist threat."

Shepard waited… "And," she said still quietly but with an exasperated edge.

"Well, the Omega Blue Suns, you will need to find out what you know from Tarak himself," the Volus put his head to one side, the silence filled with the regular shoosh of the air pump "I have nothing more Earth clan."

"Then you gave us nothing but wind" Wrex barked in an angry undertone and sat back no longer willing to pay the banker any attention.

"I think you probably have a lot more than you think you do, but we don't have time" Shepard said "I assume you can access your records wherever you are?"

The Volus tilted his head to the right as if he didn't quite hear what she said, "yes, of course, but I have told you all that I found in my records."

Wrex sat forward looked at Shepard with understanding dawning, she nodded back at him.

"We can't have a fuss or draw any attention, I'll drop you scoop" they smiled at each other recognising one of Garrus's sayings.

Wrex moved around behind the Volus who hadn't moved and was still looking at Shepard and despite the suit giving every impression of being very confused and trying to work out what everyone was talking about.

Shepard had taken a small vial from her emergency med kit and in one movement stood up and moved around behind the Volus as if to talk to Wrex at the same time saying.

"Just sit still and pretend you're talking to my sergeant, we are about to leave and you will be free…" while Shepard had been talking and distracting the Volus she had injected the contents of the vial, a powerful sedative, into the Volus's air unit on the back of his suit.

The effect was immediate but before he fell off his chair Wrex had gathered him up and held him under his arm. They headed for the exit at a steady pace, no need to rush and risk nosy patrons.

Back on the Normandy Shepard gave the Volus over to the care of Dr Chakwas with the profound hope that she hadn't killed him; she still needed him and his information.

"Joker fast as you can to Omega," she said "and get me Garrus on comms as soon as possible."

"Aye, Commander."

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It was her first visit to Omega, she'd seen the vids, heard the stories and read the intel reports… but there was nothing that could set a scene and give you a feel for a place, particularly a space station, no, nothing that came anywhere near watching it get closer from the cockpit of your ship on approach.

Imposing, it was certainly that, and quite the feat of original engineering and continuing ingenuity, adding the spikes and lumps that comprised its swelling 'suburbs'. Could you have suburbs hanging in space?

Moody, dangerous, or was that because what she knew about the station's inhabitants… no, moody was definitely her impression, and dangerous was her informed threat assessment. If the Citadel was a shining example of the greatest aspirations of those who called the galaxy home then Omega was its brutal, dark and twisted shadow self.

Liara was standing at her shoulder and was in full 'Prof Mode' and gave them running commentary on its history dating back to when the Prothean's failed to get through the asteroids thick crust at the rich eezo reserves in its core.

She continued for a good ten minutes about Prothean exploration and mining techniques before Ash asked 'yeah Doc but who did the mining if the Prothean's gave up?' LIara seemed to realise she had gone off at a bit of a Prothean tangent, and apologising carried with Omega back as the subject.

That for thousands of years it remained unchanged until smashing into another asteroid it was broken in two allowing access to its riches. The mass effect field generators that now surround Omega now protecting it from any such collision's in the future.

"It was in fact mined out and then used as a space station by the lawless eezo smugglers and criminals who seem to always have operated in the Terminus System. Quite extraordinary amounts of cooperation to create this was necessary given there has never been a recognised government on Omega," Liara finished just as they were manoeuvring slowly towards the entrance to one of the huge docking areas.

The Normandy passed through the blue shimmering field, that kept empty space out and the atmosphere of the station in the large dock in, Shepard and her team made their way to the ships docking exit.

She would not be 'under the radar' here, apart from anything Aria T'Loak knew she was here and would already know what she had been up to so far, and probably knew about her undercover team as well.

Shepard was heading straight for Omega's pirate queen, she needed information and a favour, neither of which would be forthcoming without giving T'Loak her due respect, and even then it was still a long shot.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

Shepard had opted for her light N7 armour, she fully expected to get into some serious trouble later and would dress accordingly but for now she wanted to appear as relaxed as possible to any prying eyes that found her.

The team she finally settled on was Liara, Wrex, Ash, Brewster and one of the comms tech Salarian scientists.

It was hot in Afterlife, noisy… well there was loud music, and it wasn't bad, some Shepard even recognised… but as she wasn't there to enjoy the club for what it was, so it was just noisy, busy and hot.

Liara looked as if she wanted the ground to open beneath her feet and swallow her, this was most definitely not her kind of place or somewhere she felt the least bit comfortable. Shepard gave her an almost imperceptible shoulder to shoulder 'bump' and smiled, hopefully more supportive than amused, and was rewarded by a brilliant smile and flash of blue eyes in return.

They walked past the bar and towards the stairs leading to Aria's 'office', which was a private balcony overlooking the dance floors and the platforms providing a stage for lithe Asari dancers.

The body guard at the bottom of the stairs stood to one side when they reached him and the grizzled Turian said, "go on up Aria is expecting you."

Once at the top of the stairs her team took positions, casually, to secure Shepard's six. Shepard alone walked up the final flight of steps and onto the balcony proper where she was confronted with a big Batarian holding a holo scanner.

"Stand there I need to scan you" he said with hardly disguised contempt.

"Well even you can see we are carrying full weapon racks, so that's not what your scanning for… but as I'm not a piece of fucking cargo if you do try to scan me you're going to hearing its little bleeps from inside your ass which is where I'll shove it" Shepard said standing toe to toe with the now furious Batarian body guard.

She hadn't needed to be quite so aggressive or insulting and she certainly didn't actually feel it, but this was all about posturing and positioning against the Omega pecking order.

Arai T'Loak who was standing with her back to the balcony looking across at one of the platforms let out a laugh.

"I might pay to see that," she said over her shoulder "but no scan, no talk."

"Hell all you had to do was ask" and she gave the Batarian a huge, and very sarcastic looking grin, held her arms out. When the scan was finished the Batarian gave it to Aria.

"I don't ask" she turned around and looked at Shepard, then at her team, spending just a fraction longer looking at Liara.

"I've come to you because you run Omega" Shepard said in an even voice.

Aria laughed and turned her back on Shepard again and as she spoke held her arms in the style of a great diva at the end of a performance acknowledging the admiration of the audience.

"I am Omega," turning around to face Shepard again she continued, "And you want something, everyone always does, and they all come to me." Aria sat down on the long bench that circled the balcony.

"I am the boss, CEO... Queen, if you're feeling dramatic. It doesn't matter, Omega has no titled ruler and only one rule," Aria was watching Shepard who hadn't moved from her position at the top of the steps but who had settled into a familiar pose, arms crossing her chest and leaning back slightly on one leg.

Their eyes locked together Aria continued "Don't fuck with Aria."

Shepard was weighing up how to play this, she knew she needed to earn this woman's respect and quickly, and at the same time not piss Aria off. The back and forth in Shepard's head made her worry the delay in her response was already running at an insulting rate… but in fact it was mili seconds that she worked through the options and decided to go with her gut and just be Shepard.

"Works for me, I have the same rule."

Aria nodded her head to indicate Shepard could sit down and said "which would matter on your ship, here we entertain… my preferences." Shepard was aware of Aria watching her, felt as if she was being scrutinised, weighed up, then the Queen's eyes drifted away to the other side of the room and continued.

"So, what are you looking for?" Aria's tone was neutral but it was a clear question and one that expected an answer. Shepard didn't like being the one to move first in this game of three dimensional chess but she had little choice, as Aria held all the ground and the need for information was a decidedly one way street currently.

Shepard was suddenly aware that although she could still feel the thump and vibration of the music rippling under feet and across her body it was significantly reduced in volume, she smiled at Aria.

"Some sort of privacy, dampening field?" Aria smiled back, Shepard continued "perhaps we could speak in private." Shepard made it very much a request and if acceded to it would reduce the amount of posturing Aria would have to do in front of her men.

The big Batarian who had scanned her, immediately stiffened and stepped forward, he obviously had some rank in the organisation, maybe this was the second in command that Shepard was aware Aria had.

"No one see's Aria on their own, you try anything soldier and I'll put you out an air lock myself."

"Leave us," this time Aria spoke it was in a deadly, chilled voice that expected immediate obedience.

When the four men had left the balcony and were on the other side of the privacy barrier, which Shepard could now just see its presence as a slight shimmer.

"There is a threat to the galaxy, to all of us, including Omega, that is coming and we can't stop them. But we can prepare. To do that we need to find out everything we can about the Reapers and their organic slaves, and then we have to figure out how to kill them when they get here.

The lies being peddled that pretend Sovereign was only an advanced Geth ship and that Saren was a rogue agent after political power may help people sleep at night, but if we do nothing we all die." Shepard paused just a beat and then said, "that's my mission, my only focus and I will find a way to destroy them."

Shepard waited, she was sure that Aria T'Loak was well connected enough and had a wide reach gathering information and other peoples secrets to know all about the two opposing views about the Sovereign and Saren, this conversation would go one way or the other based on the very experienced and calculating Asari Matriarch own evaluation of the evidence.

"Your… theory… doesn't have wide support Shepard, you are seen in some circles as a…" before Aria could finish Shepard cut in with a smile.

"Take your pick… glory hunting, self-promoting, cracked ever since the beacon fried my brain… so riddled with guilt and or combat stress disorder I am on a loop of one fight or another…" she stood up and walked slowly back and fore in front of Aria and continued.

"Look I don't expect you to believe this straight up and down, but there are a small number of us, and some of those in places of influence, who are convinced this is true. But think of it in these terms, this is the mother of all business threats Aria, wouldn't you at least want to know if it could happen?" Shepard sat back down and leaned forward with her forearms resting across her knees and waited to find out which way Aria would jump.

"You do have some support its true, and you have support from one place whose judgement I trust. What do you want from me and what do I get in return?" Aria gave her a small calculating smile; it would always be business as usual even if the terms were to be generous for any particular agreement between them.

"There was some kind of incident on Omega a few weeks ago, and you seem to have taken a personal interest, it involved humans, probably taken by slavers but they were all biotics…" Shepard left it hanging, if Aria wanted to tell her she would, if the Asari didn't then a direct question would take them to a dead end.

Aria's eyes went cold but Shepard didn't feel whatever was causing it coming in her direction.

"You've been looking for information about the Collectors on your trip through the Terminus." It wasn't a question, Aria stood up and faced out towards the dance floor her eyes seeing something far beyond.

"No one knows what is at the other end of the Omega 4 relay, whatever it is I don't want it thinking it can walk into Omega anytime they want." Aria looked at Shepard and continued "No Collectors on Omega and No dealing with them from Omega, what happens anywhere else is not my concern."

"But someone tried?" Shepard asked.

"Some Blue Suns fronted up the deal but I know it was a Quarian exile who set the thing up," she sat back down, arms across the top of the bench looking for all the world as if she was actually sitting on a throne, at least to Shepard. "I killed everyone in the docking bay; the people who needed to get the message will have… received it."

"And the Quarian?" Shepard didn't miss the fact that Aria had killed the humans, who were the 'trade', but having a fight with Aria that she couldn't win was just dumb, and she stored it away, for the future.

"He seems to have gone to ground, and not because I'm looking for him. Golo has something else going on, it may be of interest to you, but he will cross my path again soon and I will deal with him then."

"You probably have a great deal of information about the Collectors that would be helpful to me…" again Shepard left it hanging.

Aria gave another small laugh "I'm not in the habit of giving away information, I wouldn't want to feel used." There was just an imperceptible edge to her voice and Shepard knew she needed to even the balance a little.

"Well I happen to have in my possession the financial records and dealings of a number of the bigger Blue Suns merc groups and a Batarian Corporation that's in the slave trade with ties to the Hegemony." Shepard paused just a little and finished, "look I know on the scale of things this is probably not worth the help you're giving me, but, it's everything I have that may be of any interest to you." Shepard knew that the information was very valuable to someone like Aria; it would also be worth something to the Information Broker.

"It may have entertainment value," Aria said but she had relaxed again, "where did you get it?"

"I picked it up along with the financial advisor himself, he's… helping me with something… and well my mother taught me it was good to share," Shepard grinned.

Aria returned a smile but also had an appraising look on her face, "I thought I might have been disappointed with the real Shepard, people often don't live up to their reputations, but you are… unconventional. What favours can I expect in our little relationship?" Aria finished.

"If I can assist you or provide unclassified information that doesn't get in the way of my mission or compromise my duty as a Spectre or an Alliance officer I will."

Shepard had been prepared for that question, and thought she had pretty much covered her ass, she would be happy to cultivate a business relationship with Aria, but would not be in her pocket.

"I would expect nothing less from the great Commander Shepard" Aria nodded her head in Shepard's direction and her voice had a sarcastic edge but no annoyance, it was what the pirate Queen had expected the Spectre to say.

Meeting the woman in person had turned into the most interesting conversation Aria had had in a too many years. No, Aria thought to herself, not a conversation, more than that; they had tested each other and Shepard had negotiated a beneficial arrangement with nothing, well nothing Aria had been looking for, it amused her greatly.

"Thank you Aria. I have probably taken up too much of your time." Shepard stood up and waited to be dismissed.

"Yes perhaps we'll talk again" and Aria nodded a goodbye.

Shepard walked to the edge of the barrier, half turned back and said in a casual way "what was the scan for?"

"There are some nasty viruses around; I don't want them in my Club."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

They had found the quieter bar on the third level and had a corner booth. Shepard wanted to mull over what she had learned from Aria and talk to the others before heading off to meet up with Garus.

Shepard had ordered the financial data transfer as soon as they left the top bar and had just received a report back from the Normandy that a return package of data had arrived encrypted for her eyes only.

Hard on the heels of the message from the Normandy, Shepard got an emergency call from Garrus.

"Shepard we just got ambushed seems Tarak didn't like our asking questions and they have us pinned down in a warehouse, sending you the nav point." Shepard could hear a lot of firepower and some explosions but before she could say anything Garrus came back on the line. "We don't like it here anymore Shepard, can we come home?" She could hear the smile in his voice.

"Better come pick you up since you can't seem to keep yourself out of trouble... Oscar Mike your location" Shepard closed the comms and stood up; the team around the table in front of her had done the same.

"Looks as if we may need to take a shuttle, there is a station not far from the entrance to the club." Liara was working her OT as they were walking quickly out of the bar and finding the main concourse at the front of Afterlife.

"Ash, get the rest of the team to meet us there," she turned to look at her Salarian scientist and said, "Ish I think you should head back for the ship."

"Ah thank you Commander, I fear I would be a hindrance rather than a help," and he headed for the docking bay.

Shepard was not a little worried. They weren't prepared for the fire fight with the Blue Suns, they had no idea of the territory they would be fighting on and the bulk of the team would be at least thirty minutes behind them. 'Ah well it'll get the blood flowing' she thought to herself.

As they exited the shuttle, now only a street away from the nav point, they could hear the weapons fire coming from directly in front. Weapons drawn they moved quickly, quietly and keeping to cover towards all the noise. They got within scope distance and got eyes on the situation.

Garrus and his team were hold up at the far end of the warehouse, and had set up guardian angel positions on the first floor giving them command of the only frontal way in down a wide aisle blocked in on both sides by containers.

The Blue Suns were between Shepard and Garrus, they were there in heavy numbers, there was no way Shepard's team could just fight their way through from their current strategically weak position. They needed to figure a smart way to get to Garrus and they might have to start out immediately and let the others catch them up.

"This is a total cluster fuck," the voice was Ash's but it was what had been going through Shepard's mind. And they had no time to lose, with the amount of firepower being thrown against her security team Shepard knew they were unlikely to survive longer than an hour and probably less.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Shepard's suit comms sparked into life, it was Ish from the Normandy, it was twenty minutes since the call from Garrus, and the trip from Afterlife to the fire fight had taken around fifteen minutes.

"Commander, hope this helps, sending you information on the ground layout that won't show on Omega schematics. Most of Omega is a maze of alleys and streets, as you know, but around the warehouse district this is replicated with internal corridors and access through one room to another. It won't be exact but the principle will be the same." The Salarian finished and signed off.

Shepard was aware that Ish had spent some time in his younger days working for an information broker on Omega, before she had a chance to finish the thought another voice, this time Kasumi.

"We're here Commander just landing in the shuttle area, with you in under two minutes."

Shepard smiled and gave herself a fraction of a moment to feel proud of her team, fast deployment, lateral thinking, everyone trying to contribute what they could without having to be asked… they were going to a match for anything that came their way, but right now they had 'marines' to rescue and she was dammed if she was going to lose anyone in this glorified den of thieves and slavers… the hell she would.

Now at full strength and with local intel Shepard and the team put together a quick and dirty extraction plan, priority one was getting half the fire team to Garrus's position at the same time hitting the Suns from their rear.

She sent Ash with Kasumi and half the marines to flank the Blue Suns, they would clear out any pockets of resistance that they met as they worked their way through the rooms and internal corridors but their main purpose was to get through to the besieged team.

Shepard would set up in a defensive position behind the Suns, just forward from the current position, and would commence firing as soon as Ash's team started working towards Garrus.

It wasn't the best position, there was little cover, Liara and a couple of the marines who were biotics would provide barriers, but that reduced their firepower. If the Suns called up reinforcements Shepard's team would be in a pretty open position caught in crossfire. They had to make it quick and Shepard was wondering just how keen the mercs in front of her actually would be to face down a well-trained, well-disciplined marine squad for any length of time.

On her mark the team opened fire, getting off two rounds of kill shots, scoped to the head, before the mercs even realised they were being shot at from a different direction.

Shepard's team laid down a vicious and deadly fire using a mix of assault and sniper weapons. The kill rate was high as the mercs were now in crossfire between both Shepard's team and Garrus's.

Ash was making good progress, they had met a couple of groups of mercs, took them out quick and quiet, but they had arrived at the area that would give them access to the gallery Garrus was defending just in time.

"Looks like someone has some brains even if they can't fight for shit" Ash's voice came over Shepard's suit comms, "they're fixing to blast their way in and we're looking at ten to take down." Ash finished

"Copy that Ash, Garrus did you get that," they were all patched through but Shepard wasn't taking any chances at this point.

"Loud and clear, looking forward to seeing you Ash we have a lovely view and some comfy chairs after your long walk," he continued "you're thinning them out nicely Shepard, just watch your back."

"Will do old man," she smiled and then listened as Ash counted in her team to take down the mercs at Garrus's back door.

"We have acquired the position skipper," Ash's voice over comms "two wounded in security team, one badly, my team one wounded not serious."

"Secure wounded and then proceed to take the merc position we will move forward on your mark," Shepard didn't want to wait for the balance to change, they would squeeze them now with all the fire power of squad, except for those stood out to both tend to and protect their wounded.

The 'go' command came only a couple of minutes later and both team's opened up unremitting fire and began to move forward.

The merc's realised their 'back door team' had been neutralised and lost quite a few more men in panic and then promptly surrendered. Shepard swiftly secured the scene moving everyone including their prisoners down to the shuttle area. She ordered an evac of the wounded and then turned her attention to what seemed like the leader of the merc team.

They found a large room close by, another cut down storage area, and took him there. Shepard was joined by Wrex and Garrus.

"Do you realise how much shit you're going to be in when Tarak finds out some Alliance bitch has just fucked around with him on Omega" the Batarian snarled.

Just as he finished speaking he was lifted bodily off his feet and slammed into the back wall by a biotic slam from Wrex.

"I should watch you manners if you want to get out of her in one piece" Garrus snarled at him.

"Ah that's ok, you see fuckwit here doesn't realise that the world of pain that he thinks is coming to me will be raining down all over him when his boss realises he couldn't even kill four Turians in an ambush, lost shit loads of men, and then… oh he's gonna love this… oh yeah surrendered like some little piss pants coward," she gave the Baratrian, who was just starting to get up off the floor, one of her most annoying know it all grins.

"That why you didn't call in help," Wrex let out a low rumbling laugh.

She moved forward so fast the Batarian actually jumped a little, when she reached him Shepard pinned him to the wall with one hand by his neck and pulled her pistol and shoved it in his face.

"No, you are going to call your boss down here to show him the interesting stuff you found when you took down the nasty, nosy… why did you go after my team anyway?"

"Asking too many questions about my boss's business… then one of them got tagged as CSec "he said with a struggle due to the strangle hold on his neck.

"Fair enough," she said lightly and then with venom oozing from every word "so as I was saying, you're going to call your boss down here… important… vital he sees it now… you squared away the problem all secure kind of thing. You walk, I'm happy we all go home."

"Mad fuckin bitch he will kill me" the Batarian was now fully aware of his situation but Shepard felt duty bound to 'rub it in'.

"Yep really bad day for you huh… let me put it this way… you agree to do this, convincingly, or I pop you now and work through the rest of your guys until one of them is more scared of dying right now than dying if Tarak gets to them… yes you notice if… well this may also be your lucky day… if this goes the way I think it will your boss will not be walking away from me… no one will know you dropped him in a trap… and maybe you move up your slippery pole to even greater scumbag glory. Are you reading me now… die now… possibly not die later." Shepard let him go and stepped back.

She could see him trying to work an angle, see a way out, the only chance he had of surviving was with more time, if he wanted to live, and at the end most sentient beings did, he would choose to call his boss, because also like most sentient beings he believed today was not the day he would die.

The Batarian was actually quite high up in the Suns command structure; Salkie was responsible for logistics and also maintained Tarak's gunship. He was convincing when he got through to the Omega Blue Suns leader, even managing to convey the urgency. Tarak would be there in twenty minutes and they would meet where Garrus had been pinned down.

Shepard made her arrangements. Merc prisoners under guard in the room they had used for 'persuading' Salkie to help them, half the marine squad under Ash's command would wait in there until Tarak had passed through the shuttle area and then they would re-secure it.

Shepard would use the other half of the marine team to secure the run from the shuttle area to the building designated for the meeting. In the building itself, concealed until Tarak was well inside their trap, Shepard would have, Wrex, Garrus, Kasumi, Liara and the two unwounded security team members, and of course, a very, very nervous Salkie on display,

Tarak arrived with only a couple of mercs in tow; of course Shepard already knew this as they had been 'checked' by the team at the shuttles. Well, why would Tarak think he was in any danger, meeting one of his lieutenants, on his home turf, and that's what the plan was meant to deliver.

Shepard hoped she would never lose her sixth sense, or gut feeling or whatever it was that gave her a prod when she seemed to walking into unseen trouble.

Tarak had no such 'gut feeling' and once his men were taken out he offered no resistance, Shepard went for cooperation first.

"This can go quick and easy Tarak, I'm only interested in one thing, I don't care about anything your into, and I'm not going to play games with you," Shepard was sitting opposite the Suns leader with Wrex leaning against a wall behind him.

"Get on with it," Tarak was a short breath away from exploding in anger and fury, but he was smart enough to know how limited his options were, he definitely wasn't going to die today, he wanted to tear this Human apart with his bare hands and for that he needed to survive.

"Who is behind the assassination attempt on the Batarian Ambassador, I need names, current locations and the details of the attack…" Shepard broke off as Tarak had started laughing. "Want to share," she said voice and eyes cold as steel.

He stopped laughing and spoke quickly "All right don't do anything stupid, I don't care about fucking politics even Batarian politics anything we do with those terrorists is strictly business. If I tell you all I know you will let me walk out of here?" he suddenly woke up to the fact that even if he told her he was still at her mercy.

"You tell me what I want to know now, and it better be the truth or you die now and I get my hacking expert and the new 'you' to find out for me. Which will take longer so my convenience is the only thing keeping you alive at this point… don't piss me around… and my word is something you can trust, give me what I want and you walk out of here in one piece? Clocks ticking," she finished.

"The Ambassador Jath'Amon is the leader of the terrorists and he will deliver a deadly virus which I assume he has with him at the full Council meeting at some point while he is on the Citadel… I know nothing else… no other members of the group are on the Citadel," he didn't bother to hide the naked hate and fury that he was feeling.

Shepard looked at Wrex and gave him a short nod; Wrex moved forward and hit Tarak out cold.

Shepard called up comms to the Normandy… it wouldn't be a secure line but she didn't have time to mess around, she had no idea of the timing of meetings, she would just have to risk Aria, and anyone else that was monitoring their comms, hearing the message.

"Joker get me as secure a line as you can direct to Hackett and the Council at the same time but get me through to them now," Shepard kept the channel open and could hear Joker calling up both Arcturus and the Citadel with priority codes and call signs. In less than two minutes she had both Hackett and Councillor Tevos on the line.

"I have solid intel that the terrorist is the Batarian Ambassador himself, Jath'Amon, I repeat the terrorist is Jath'Amon and he has a killer virus concealed somewhere with him for release, do you copy?" Shepard finished.

"Are you certain Commander, do you believe the information you have? If we are wrong the political ramifications would be difficult," Councillor Tevos asked.

"Yes Councillor, I know this looks bad, but I would stake my life on it, even if you have doubts you must at least keep the Ambassador isolated until confirmed one way or the other," Shepard knew the Councillor would want to be sure, but she also felt that out of the three Council members Tevos had always had more respect for Shepard's judgement and opinions.

"Agreed Commander," Tevos said and continued "Admiral Hackett we will liaise security functions, I know this may cause you problems later but perhaps your commando team could deal with Jath'Amon, I suspect they will be best placed to deal with a biological threat quickly and discretely?"

Hackett spoke for the first time; Shepard knew he had to wait for the Council to make any decision.

"I am sending instructions immediately Councillor Tevos, I have also instructed the doubling of the security cordon around each Council member and will contact you immediately we have the terrorist in custody. Good work Commander there was no way we would have picked this up from our end."

"Yes once again Commander the Council is in your debt."

The comms link closed but Joker was still online, "Joker we're on our way back, send the shuttle and make ready to leave the minute we get on board."

"Aye, aye Commander."

Shepard turned her attention back to the room and looked at the slumped Tarak, she looked across at Wrex.

"I would love to either put a bullet in that bastards brain or take him back to Alliance space to face charges, attacks on human colonies, slaving, piracy… and all I said was I'd let him walk out of here on his own two feet, so he could walk on his own two feet into the Normandy brig.

But if I do that I may fuck my ability to come and go on Omega, I think I could get away with killing him easier than taking him to face justice." Shepard finished.

"He is going to kill Salkie but who cares… But he will make it a personal vendetta against you Shepard, he won't stop till one of you is dead," Wrex was concerned and although he couldn't understand why she ever hesitated to kill an obvious enemy whenever she got the drop on them, he respected that she had her own set of rules and code, he would just do his best to take out as many of her enemies as possible to save her having to make the choice.

"Yeah let's put him on the list, it's a long list but I agree he will be pretty much at the top… Least I can do is give Salkie a fighting chance, who knows maybe they take each other out, but I never seem to get that lucky," and with a wistful grin she walked over and slapped Tarak back to life and pulled him to his feet.

Outside they joined the others and Salkie was looking both furious and scared, she knew why, he was fully expecting Shepard to kill Tarak whatever the outcome of their 'conversation'.

"So you two have a little problem and I can't help but think I may be in some way to blame," Shepard said looking at the two Batarian's who were now focussing on each other. She could see Ash smiling and Garrus's mandibles twitching that told her he was 'smiling' too, hell it had been a long day she was entitled to a bit of fun.

"Not sure how you guys are considering resolving your little problem but… I've seen enough merc blood and guts today, so here's what we're going to do. You're going to stand back to back, I'm gonna give you a pistol each with one pulse in it, on my mark you walk ten paces then turn and fire," she was unreadable and for a split second Ash and Garrus thought she might be serious. Liara looked completely confused, Wrex knew he didn't get that lucky either, and Kasumi was still too hard for Shepard to read.

Both the Batarian's started to shout at her at the same time, insults flying, lots of insults questioning every aspect her both as a woman and a marine… and definitely cursing her to a miserable and painful death.

"OK, OK, I get it," she held her hands up and started laughing, "fuck you two are thick though, if you were as good as any of my team you'd have taken the offer and both of you would have fired at me and taken your chances with the others... I don't know you can't give anyone a fighting chance these days," her team gave out a combination of roars of laughter, huge grins and exasperated sighs, the sigh accompanied by a smile was from Liara.

"Well you can just sort yourselves out… I'm not leaving you any weapons and you're not getting your comms back, and if either of you leave this building before my team are safely on our shuttle my concealed sniper will put a bullet in each one of your eyes." And, knowing the issue of weapons and comms had already been dealt with by her team; she turned her back on them and walked out.

She wasn't going to leave a sniper. It would take longer than the walk back to their extraction point for those two to kill each other, whoever got the upper hand first was going to make the other pay for everything Shepard had just done to them.

The trip off Omega was uneventful. Once they jumped through the relay and were on course for Citadel, Shepard checked on the wounded, then the rest of the team. She made a trip to thank Ish for his insight which had made a huge difference to their casualties. Shepard finally ended up in the lounge and 'bought' drinks all round, they all deserved at least a few hours of R&R.

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The Normandy was only a day out from the Citadel, Shepard was needed to give her evidence in person against Jath'Amon although from the reports of his arrest when confronted and taken down by the Alliance under cover team he had ranted a very detailed, useful and self-incriminating confession.

Shepard was in the comms room in a meeting with Liara, Kasumi and the whole science team undertaking a full review of the information, intelligence and theories they had put together during their trip.

"Confidential priority call from Councillor Anderson for you skipper," Ash's voice cut across the discussion in the room.

"Thanks Ash, could I have the room please," Shepard said but people were already making a move to leave, "I'll come and find you when I'm done,"

Liara was passing behind her chair on the way out deep in conversation with Dr Goto but as she passed by trailed her hand across Shepard's neck an obvious sign of affection and connection.

They were discreet but they shared a cabin and as Liara was not Alliance no regulations were being broken. Always professional and formal on duty they still lived aboard the Normandy and, like quite a few others on board who were personally involved, off duty they had a right to their relationship.

Alliance regulations allowed and encouraged the development of relationships, where else would personnel meet, they were often deployed 'permanently' on the larger ships, it was work and home. The regulations that existed were related to rank for obvious reasons.

"Councillor what can I do for you," Shepard asked Anderson who looked hugely concerned.

"Commander I would like you to take a detour to Grissom Academy and pick up Kahlee Sanders and bring her to the Citadel. I… we need to talk to her about the experience she's just had at the hands of Cerberus. There seems to be a tie in with your investigations regarding the Collectors." He finished but Shepard had the distinct impression he was considering saying more.

"Of course, will she want to come?"

"She knows she needs to be de-briefed, she won't be expecting that it will be me," he smiled, "Dr Sanders and I are friends, she has just been through a terrible ordeal and I… well I would also like to see her to make sure she's ok." So that was it Shepard thought and smiled to herself.

"Consider it done Councillor, we should be with you in around thirty six hours," Shepard snapped a salute; he would forever be her commanding officer in uniform or out of it.

"Thank you Shepard." He smiled before closing the comm link.

"Ash we need to head to Grissom Academy to pick up a passenger for transport to the Citadel, can we make it as snappy as possible."

"Will do skipper."

They reached the Citadel just twenty four hours before the three day official 'new year' holiday period started. She gave the crew a day's liberty and most of them headed straight for the shops for last minute gifts, Shepard wished them well, she would rather fist fight a Krogan than a holiday shopping expedition to place which would be full of fraught, angry and crazy, with holiday preparation stress, shoppers.

She hadn't had much time to get to know Kahlee Sanders but the couple of conversations over food or coffee in the mess left Shepard with a good opinion of the woman.

Anderson had met them at the dock and suggested they carry out the de-briefing aboard the Normandy in the comms room.

It soon became apparent that Kahlee Sanders had indeed had a rough time of it. She was trying to protect a young girl, who was also a powerful biotic, and a student at the Academy, from being taken away by Cerberus where Sanders was convinced they would run disgusting and brutal experiments on the child. Being on the run and still ending up being kidnapped and held hostage.

Shepard became even more alert when Kahlee mentioned the name of the Cerberus agent that had captured them, Golo, the Quarian with connections to the Collector deal on Omega.

She and the girl were rescued by a Quarian on his pilgrimage by the name of Lemm, who had taken them for safety to the migrant fleet. But Cerberus had followed and very nearly managed to grab the young girl and Kahlee and blow up the Idenna which would have cost thousands of Quarian lives.

There had been the added complication that the girls 'father' was a Cerberus agent but at the last minute on the Idenna choose not to give her back to Cerberus He killed Golo and defused the bomb on the Quarian life ship.

"I suspect that Grayson was given Gillian as a baby and told to treat her as his own, he seems to have done a good job until Cerberus sent her to us at the Academy. He seemed to find it hard to cope and became addicted to red sand, but in the end he did what was best for his daughter."

She paused and then went on, "if… well no almost definitely when, the Illusive Man catches up with him it won't be an easy end." Kahlee almost shuddered at the thought; her description of the torture of another Quarian to get the migrant fleet access codes had been disturbing even to Shepard's strong stomach.

The girl was safely out of the reach of the Illusive Man, at least for now; she had joined one of the Quarian deep space exploration missions searching for a new home world… "Or a dead Reaper" Kahlee said "some of the Quarians are convinced if they can find the right Reaper technology they could re-gain control of the Geth."

"Oh that's not good… I like the searching for a new home world part, but as if we didn't have enough people running around looking for Reaper tech like it's some kind of magic button to power… did anybody listen to the bit about indoctrination and control by the Reapers… I haven't seen anything working the other way so far."

Shepard suddenly felt exhausted, it seemed every time they had a small victory, and a small step forward something huge would kick them back into touch.

"How likely is it they'll find anything, there can't be that many Reapers just lying around the place," Anderson asked.

"Well it would be a long shot but not if a Reaper was looking to get found, Quarians could be very useful to have under their control as an asset. But it also means they'll probably start looking for tech here in the known galaxy as well as in the uncharted territories.

Which means we now have a list of people that we know who are looking for the biggest trouble you could possible walk into." Shepard finished and some part of her wishes she hadn't gotten out of bed that morning.

They discussed the implication of the Cerberus activity and finished by talking about the course of action the Quarians might take, there were clear divisions within their leadership which would clearly impact on any preparation to fight the Reaper threat.

It was time to give her evidence to the Council and Anderson, as a Council member, needed to attend as well. Shepard gave Anderson and Sanders a couple of minutes and waited on the dock. They walked together to the Council Chamber.

"So is she rushing back to Grissom?" Shepard asked her old commander.

"No, I thought she might but she's agreed to spend the holiday here with me," he smiled, "I really do think this whole thing shook her up a lot, I'll be pleased to make a bit of a fuss of her. Your off to you family gathering on Arcturus?"

"Yep heading off in the morning, Liara is going with me, Goddess help her," Shepard smiled broadly and Anderson was struck that whenever she talked about Liara Shepard looked more like her old self before Saren and all that weight she now had to carry.

"The rest of the crew scattering to the wind?"

"More or less, I asked Wrex to join the me on the station, but he has a few things to take care of," she smiled and shook her head, "that will involve lots of alcohol and probably fighting if things to his plan. Ash is doing her family thing, but Garrus accepted so I have one of my wing men with me."

They chatted on until they reached the Council Chamber. Shepard gave her evidence, now pretty much confirmed out of the ex-Batarian Ambassadors own mouth. Which was fine by her as it gave Councillor Sparatus no opportunity to be snide or sarcastic at her expense, and she didn't need to lose any more 'holiday spirit'.

2183 was drawing to a close so the next morning the Normandy headed for Arcturus Station where her crew would disperse, most of them remaining on the station, to find their families or friends for the three day celebrations that would start with the new year eve.

Wrex, Kasumi, her science team and security team all made their farewells from the Citadel. They would rendezvous after the holiday and Shepard thought they should probably complete their scanning in the Omega Nebula with a quick visit to the Amada system… but that was for after the holiday.

For now her mission was to ease Liara into the kind of family celebration that she was sure her shy and often retiring lover had never been part of, to introduce Liara into her family, making Shepard feel immensely proud and happy and at the same time feeling like a Pyjak caught in the headlights of a very big Tomkah heading straight at her.

A/N So can Shepard avoid her fated meeting in the Amada system, has her path already changed, or are some points in time always fixed


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Shepard felt the edge of consciousness drift over her and a warm body moulded into her, blue arm laying loosely across her side and belly.

Opening her eyes she saw an unfamiliar bedside table and then bulkhead, she felt Liara's breath on the back of her neck, the Asari was mirroring Shepard's body with her own and the feel of breasts and thighs brought a feeling of peace and contentment.

They had arrived at Arcturus the day before and decided to move into the accommodation provided for them rather than stay on the Normandy. Shepard had been given a suite of rooms with exterior views from the lounge area although she didn't know if that was because of all the recent hype around the Citadel battle, that she was a Spectre and therefore a Council guest or if it was something to do with Liara being the daughter of a once powerful Matriarch. If it had just been Shepard she would have asked to be bunked in standard Alliance officer accommodation but she really wanted to make this short break with Liara as special as possible.

Shepard moved Liara's arm gently and slid off the bed, it was early, but it didn't matter if she was on duty or leave this was the time she woke up and it was too early to wake Liara, she considered it, but they had had a 'late' night.

She smiled thinking about their love making; Shepard was still surprised that she was so comfortable using the word 'love' in any context about herself. It wasn't that she didn't want to have, one day, what she saw other people experiencing, particularly what her parents shared, no it was more that she couldn't see how that would work with her life choice.

She was a Marine, an Alliance officer and now Council Spectre. Apart from the dedication and commitment she felt and the focus needed to fulfil the duties she had accepted, there was also the constant danger of death or serious permanent injury which put any thoughts of allowing a serious personal relationship on the other side of a boundary that she had maintained without much difficulty until she met Liara.

There had always been room for casual liaisons, fun, and certainly she cared about the women she had been intimate with, but always at a distance, it was never going anywhere. Until now, the worst possible timing, the most dangerous and demanding time of her life, a most dangerous time for the whole galaxy.

Shepard threw on some loose sweats, found the kitchen, made coffee, and settled herself in the lounge. She looked out the large window that formed the whole of the outer wall and looked past the range of frigates and cruisers 'parked' around the station, to the glimmers of distant stars and the drifting Milky Way.

She was feeling more and more convinced she wanted, no needed, to take a huge next step in her relationship this holiday. But Shepard wanted to be sure her timing wasn't being driven by the intensity of the responsibility she felt for leading the charge against the Reaper's and their followers, or the war they had just been through.

Shepard wanted to ask Liara to, well what? Get engaged? Did Asari culture have some kind of pre-bonding thing? She really had meant to ask Liara what the Asari customs were. Shepard had meant to find out, properly, not from an extranet search, quite some time ago, but with one thing or another it just didn't get done.

She had studied and knew a great deal about the Asari culture, politics, religion and their military of course. All necessary information to be a good 'galactic' citizen and definitely needed to be an effective Alliance officer and Spectre, she had studies every race Humanity now shared the galaxy with. But there was no need to learn about mating rituals, certainly not how to ask an Asari to become your 'bondmate'.

She was considering seeing the Consort on the Citadel for advice, she didn't really know any other Asari apart from Councillor Tevos and that would be inappropriate or Aria T'Loak and amusing though that conversation would be Shepard wouldn't do that to Liara who would hate to find out Aria had been privy to her possible future before she was herself.

Now, if she started that conversation with Liara, it would feel last minute and end up with Shepard telling her lover why she was asking about bonding rituals and then no big moment... she smiled at herself. 'Shepard thinking about big romantic moments, what the fuck has gotten into you', and she suddenly thought about the reality of the next few days.

_'Shit this is the first time I have ever been with anyone, let alone in a 'relationship', at any kind of family thing. She had no idea how to do it'_... and she had to make sure Liara was OK, and Liara had even less experience of this stuff than she did.

Shepard didn't have any such worries about their life together on the Normandy, which was ordinary life, where they 'lived'. And together, when they were on their own they were great, it was natural, comfortable.

But this was a particular social situation and... well... she should have thought this through before now. It was too late to run away but that was suddenly what felt like an outstanding plan. Just the two of them, that was certainly all Shepard needed and if she was honest, all she really wanted.

It would be too much, laying on a big moment in the pressure cooker that would be a full on family new year's, 'Shepard don't go all soppy on me… big moment… what the…' Shepard decided in that moment, she would wait until their next leave together and then ask. There was time, the pressure dropped, and she decided to go back to bed and maybe see if Liara was anywhere near being awake…

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Shepard had found Liara awake when she had returned to bed and they had picked up where they had left of the previous night. Falling asleep an hour or so later their bodies intertwined.

As Shepard woke up for the second time she noticed she was alone and could hear voices coming from the lounge. Slipping out of bed and throwing on her sweats she ventured from the bedroom already recognising the second voice in the room.

"Garrus," she said with a smile "did you settle in OK, are your quarters good enough?"

"Yes I'm just down the corridor same setup, I think they have me mistaken for someone important," his mandibles twitched as was his way when he was 'smiling'.

"Oh but Garrus you are very important to us… that is, not just to us but..." Liara gave up and smiled.

"Thank you Liara and yes for some reason you both seem to have taken to me, for which I am honoured if not a little baffled."

"Ah maybe your just the little brother I never had," Shepard laughed and then suddenly said, "hey what the hell is the time, Liara how long have you been up, I was sleeping so soundly I didn't even notice you leave."

That was more than unusual it was unheard of as Shepard was a light sleeper and always somewhere alert to any danger that may come at her, it was very much a soldiers trait, especially one who had been in the kinds of prolonged campaigns that Shepard had.

Liara smiled warmly at her lover and said, "It is nearly eleven, I left you soundly sleeping oh must have been, a couple of hours ago. Garrus has been her only around ten minutes.

I was not going to disturb you, it is the most peaceful I think I have ever seen you asleep." Liara leaned into Shepard who, after getting herself a coffee, had sat down next to Liara on one of the long sofas.

"Have to say Shepard you do look more relaxed than I think I can remember seeing you and a little younger… maybe we should re-think this 'younger' brother thing,"

Garrus was pleased to see the change in Shepard he had been becoming more and more worried about not only the stress that she had to carry but also the recurring headaches that seem to have resulted from her interactions with the beacons.

"Well I reckon I'm going to need it, you know what they saw about family events," Shepard looked at her two companions who looked back blankly and the lack of shared cultural reference points surprised her for a split second, she really did forget most of the time about the 'being non humans' thing.

"Ah yes well may just be a human thing, but they are usually quite stressful, family politics, feuds, treading on eggshells…anyway… it won't be that bad my lot are fairly decent. But I will make sure you guys have a great time and…" Liara cut Shepard's conversation off and said.

"Yes on that point both Garrus and I are agreed that we do not want you to feel as if you need to… 'Babysit' us… and," at this point Liara leaned back a little and with a firm edge to her voice looking directly at Shepard said,

"I do not need you to worry about me. I know I can be a little awkward in social situations but that does not mean I do not enjoy them.

My life has changed beyond recognition since I met you and came to live on the Normandy. You have all…," at this point she looked at Garrus, "been extremely kind and given me the confidence to stop hiding away from people. I am looking forward to meeting you family Shepard and if you think for one moment that Asari families do not have their fair share of difficulty and politics you haven't yet really understood what living with my mother was like."

As she finished Liara smiled, as did Garrus, Shepard shrugged her shoulders in acceptance and grinned widely. Shepard also gave a small laugh as she put her arm around Liara's shoulders and pulled her into her side in a hug and said.

"Point taken T'Soni, no cotton wool, you're on your own, well to a point, you can't stop me wanting you to have a good time… but maybe I can make sure you always end the evening on a high."

Shepard went to get showered and dressed in readiness for lunch with her mother and a few family members that would also serve as a small introduction for Liara and Garrus.

The rest of the time they spent chatting and exchanging family stories which cheered Shepard up no end as it seemed they had much more in common than she had thought, considering their cultures developed across a galaxy under very different 'suns'.

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Captain Hannah Shepard answered the door to her quarters and greeted her daughter, Liara and Garrus, showing them in and introducing them to the small gathering.

Her parents, LV's grandparents, had traveled from Earth for the holiday. Hannah's sister and brother-in-law, their eldest son and his partner with their new born baby, a couple of close friends and their daughter who was an archaeological scientist and who she hoped would be someone that Liara would find interesting.

They were all from Hannah's side of the family the Skorsgaard's; the Shepard clan was much larger and they were going to join up with LV's closest relatives on that side of the family for dinner that evening.

Hannah watched her daughter saying her hello's and introducing Liara and Garrus, giving her grandparents big hugs and going soft over the baby, holding it so gently in her arms as if it would break.

She saw the affection, no it was clearly love, between her daughter and Liara and it filled her with happiness that LV had found someone that she could, would let in. They reminded her of her own relationship with LV's father and she wished he could see how their girl had turned out.

She had been such a serious child, not lacking in humour and with a well-developed sense of mischief, but it was as if she had always been preparing to take on the life of service and duty.

It certainly wasn't because Hannah or John had wanted her to follow them into the military, after all John had started life on an academic path and they would have been happy for LV to choose that as a career.

But there was a fire, clarity of purpose in the child, the young girl and then the young woman that left no one in any doubt that her path would be to serve Earth, humanity, the Alliance and now the galaxy. All those things that sometimes sound pompous but for LV it was all about being somewhere she could protect the weak, punish the wrong doers and live a life bounded by duty and honour.

And Hannah suddenly remembered the look that would pass between her and her husband, which was a combination of pride, frustration and resignation, when they heard the prophetic words from their daughter 'but that isn't fair' which would shortly be followed by Liddie's attempts to 'make it fair' whatever the issue was and however big.

The lesson that was the hardest for them to help her understand was that sometimes things just are not fair and there isn't anything anyone can do about it.

She was so proud of the woman her daughter had become and so afraid that she was now carrying too much responsibility, too much weight but she also knew her daughter would never shirk her responsibilities or her duty whatever the cost, she was her parent's child.

"Shepard I had no idea you had such a soft centre," Garrus whispered 'smiling' as he stood next to her nursing the few week old baby in her arms.

"Yeah well you mention this to anyone on board and you'll be 'calibrating' using a different orifice," she whispered and smiled back at him then said "reckon I'm scoring points with Liara… not that… I mean, just…" she trailed off realising how her comment may have sounded. Although it sounded exactly as Shepard had thought it.

"Hell Shepard you're getting broody," he had to stifle a full laugh pretending to cough, Shepard could see his eyes watering, but she fixed him with a look and he said holding one hand up in surrender "wiped from my mind, anything you said after we walked in the room, no idea what we just talked about," but he was still struggling to keep from laughing.

"Yeah alright smart ass, maybe just a bit, aw shit look at this little fella, how awesome would it be to watch one of your own grow up. Teach them stuff."

Garrus looked down at the bundle in Shepard's arms and said, "You have a point, not felt the pull yet myself, but I can see you and Liara are solid enough to consider it. When are you going to ask her?" Garrus looked up at Shepard and saw the troubled look on her face.

Shepard had talked to Garrus about asking Liara to get engaged or pre bonded, he was, after all, her best friend and she really did think of him as family. When they weren't in banter or teasing mode they seemed to give each other good advice. And even if his experience of relationship was patchy at least he had some experience to draw on unlike Shepard.

Shepard's eyes drifted to where Liara was sitting in deep and animated conversation with her grandparents and her mother's friend's daughter who seemed to be an archaeologist.

"I thought about it and I think this leave is just so… I don't know crowded… and I wanted to make it special… somewhere maybe we could go back to and that just isn't going to be Arcturus," she realised it sounded like a combination of a cop out and also looking for a bit of a cheesy romantic moment, again. "What the hell has that woman done to me Garrus… _somewhere we could come back to for a romantic anniversary of when I asked_… I'm fucked, truly lost to love or whatever this is." She grinned giving up all attempts at trying to hide just how much she was in love with her Asari.

"Shepard seriously, yes you are totally lost to that woman and who could blame you, also she feels the same way... the gods only know why," he smiled and squeezed her shoulder, "you're so right for each other and it's a sight for tired jaded old eyes… but you do know I'm going to tease the shit out of you at some point in the future with all this…"

They both laughed out loud and many eyes around the room looked at LV Shepard and were warmed by the sight of her relaxed and happy and safe, at least for now, in the heart of her family, old and new.

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Where the lunchtime gathering organised by her mother was small with close family only, the evening would be a much larger affair. Of course Shepard's family didn't fall neatly into the two clans of Shepard and Skorsgaard; there were the matriarchal lines, the married in and their non-blood related extended family.

But amongst the larger number Shepard's family the close members who were to be present included her father's sister and two brothers and their children. Her only surviving grandparent, her grandmother, on that side of family was not able to attend as she was on duty in Vancouver.

Her mother had warned her that her Uncle Lucas and his son would be there and he seemed to be even more than usually irritated at any mention of Shepard's name, and it could be connected to the number of ships he lost at the battle of the Citadel. Rear Admiral Lucas Mikhalovich was the commander of the 63rd Scout Flotilla.

Shepard had last seen him some months ago when he attempted to board the Normandy to conduct and inspection and Shepard had denied him access as the Normandy was in effect a Council ship. He had only wanted to list the things about the build that were 'wrong' and had started by saying he didn't agree with sharing Alliance military secrets with the Turians. She had cut him dead and he was furious, it had felt good, she despised everything about him from his over reliance on rigid rules to his attitude towards non humans and the Council.

"Babe," Shepard had decided to warn Liara about the possible, or rather probable, awkwardness with her Uncle if they found themselves face to face. "Not all my family feel that I make the… well, they don't all approve of the way I… conduct myself as an Alliance officer. The Butcher of Torfan thing stuck with quite a few humans and a considerable number of those within the Alliance."

Shepard was sitting on one of the sofa's looking across at Liara who had just entered from their bedroom, she looked stunning in a form fitting but silky palest blue trouser suit, the top appearing to flow like water as she moved. The top was cut a little a very old Earth style from ancient China, Shepard could do nothing but stare in wonder at this elegant beauty.

"I am aware of the small element who choose not to accept you made the best military decsion you could being the 'one on the ground', is that the right way to put it," Liara tilted her head slightly to the side as she asked her question, a gesture that was so familiar to Shepard, who nodded, "you will always search your conscience to make the right decision Shepard guided by your moral compass. If people can not accept that or you then they are not worth being concerned over."

Liara had moved in front of Shepard and reached out her hands to cup her lovers face and as she starred down into stunning, captivating, fascinating green eyes she continued, "and they certainly don't know how much each and every one of the decisions and lives cost you."

Shepard felt the surge of love and tenderness and understanding from her Asari through the light meld Liara had initiated in order to convey the strength of her support for the love of her heart.

Shepard stood up, into Liara's waiting arms and they kissed a long, slow, loving, tender kiss. When they broke apart Shepard stood back a little to be able to fully appreciate the view.

"Goddess you are absolutely gorgeous Liara, I feel totally unworthy to be seen with you," Shepard was smiling but there was an edge of still not really understanding how she had managed to capture the heart of someone so… well… perfect.

Liara had seen her lover dressing earlier but appraised her fully for the first time. Shepard was dressed completely in black apart from her trousers leg stripe. Varen leather riding boots that came to just below her knee, black trousers with the red stripe down the sides of the legs and a short Varen leather jacket over a very soft and fitted crepe shirt.

" Oh I think Commander that there will be as many eyes enjoying you this evening as will be looking at me, I certainly find nothing to complain about," Liara and Shepard laughed. "

"And irresistibly attractive though you look I am already a little impatient to be watching you take them all off… slowly" Liara finished by kissing Shepard and this time it was full of passion and need.

As they left the room Shepard couldn't help but allow herself to feel she was the luckiest woman in the galaxy, hell, probably the universe and she had never been so happy and content in her life.

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The evening was going well. Shepard was very much at home in the heart of the family and Liara saw a new and different side to her. It was as if Shepard could allow the heavy weight of leadership and responsibility drop away, she could be just one of her generation within the family, with older, wiser heads above who she could defer to; and a younger generation who she could just have fun with and not feel responsible for them.

Shepard and Liara spent time chatting with her cousins most of whom were in the Alliance in some capacity or other or in roles that supported the work of the Systems Alliance in the political sphere. Liara could see that Shepard not only had their love and respect but they also enjoyed her company.

In this relaxed and comfortable environment and away from her day to day responsibilities Shepard was very much the life and soul of the party and seemed comfortable, for once, being the centre of attention. Liara was fully aware of just how charismatic Shepard was, but had only ever seen it in a 'work' sense, either in the execution of her mission or her duty as the Commander of the Normandy.

But of course, Shepard was charismatic, amusing, interesting, clever, entertaining… in fact exactly the kind of personality and company that people seek out, for obvious reasons. Not least because Shepard had a way of making everyone around her, everyone she was including in her circle, making them all feel just as amusing and clever and interesting as she was.

Liara couldn't help but feel proud and a little disconcerted that Shepard had found her worthy to share her life and her heart with, and she thanked the Goddess for whatever quirk of timing and fate that had brought them together. Young though she was by Asari standards, and unusual as it was, Liara knew she was with the love of her life, her bondmate, her soulmate and the thought warmed her and terrified her a little at the same time.

Then it happened, despite the best efforts of all those present who were aware of the tensions between Shepard and her Uncle they ended up face to face across one of the buffet tables. Shepard decided to turn and walk away but the Admiral spoke to her back.

"I hear you did it again," he said, and his voice always stung Shepard as his tone was closest out of his brothers to her father's, she could really hear an echo or perhaps more of a shadow of the voice she missed so much.

"Did what," she turned to face him, Liara at her side looking concerned.

"Killed another unarmed prisoner in cold blood, is that really how your father raised you," his sneer and distaste was evident in his voice and on his face.

Shepard's tone was quiet, but cold and the fury in her eyes would have made a Krogan battle master gird his loins before approaching, and she said.

"That bastard tortured a brave and honourable soldier to death personally, what the fuck would you have liked me to do with him?"

"You have no right to pass judgement you should leave that to your betters who have a clearer sense of what's right and wrong. The more they encourage you with rewards and medals the more you set yourself above the law, above your orders, your duty; you dishonour your uniform and your father's memory." His eyes were burning with anger and his fist balled at his side.

"I dispense justice when it's the only and last option… you know what would have happened to that Cerberus bastard he would have been out in a matter of months one way or another to kill or torture again… I won't have that on my conscience, those deaths would have been on me…" her voice was raised now the anger and frustration taking hold, if it was anyone else, a stranger she wouldn't rise to the bait but this was her father's brother, he knew her, watched her grow up and she couldn't bear when he used her father's opinion against her.

"And how do you justify letting hostages die just so you could kill another Batarian, you are dangerous Lydia you can't even see that you defer to no one, you now only have to report to that all interfering Council that looks down on all things human, and you turned your back on everything your father believed in for more power to be able to kill whenever you feel the need to act like God." He was shouting now too and red with anger in the face.

They began to move towards each other as they were shouting but people were moving between them and while some stood next to Mikhalovich others stood next to Shepard trying to calm her down.

Liara was beyond furious she wanted to tear the man's head off, but she was working really hard to maintain control and to get Shepard to move away, she knew that if this escalated her human would feel terrible about it once her rage and pain had subsided.

Yes unexpectedly Liara was sensing not only the anger and rage so easy to see but also deep pain and sorrow, she would talk to Shepard about this later and try to understand where the pain was coming from.

"Yeah well when you've the balls to fight face to face with killers and slavers, when you've held dying children who've been tortured and had control chips put in their heads… if you ever have the guts to come out of that ivory tower of yours and get down in the dirt well… then maybe… maybe you'd understand why if you get the shot you take it to save lives down the line… but you don't do you… fuckin coward…"

They were both shouting insults at each other at the same time but with Shepard's last sentence the area in between the two groups seemed to explode with movement as a young man, around Shepard's age, broke through the crowd and slammed into Shepard and landed a punch in the face.

"Don't you call my father a coward you fucking bitch." He stood red faced with his fist still raised as he watched Shepard, who had been caught off guard, slammed backwards onto the floor.

Shepard was hardly down before she was back on her feet and she slammed her cousin in the face with a head butt to the nose and he toppled backward and flat out on the floor.

At the same moment Liara, Shepards Aunt Cathy and three of her cousins all surrounded her and started walking her away. She went with them suddenly exhausted, dazed and close to tears.

"Come on LV, let's get you out of here, come back to our accommodation, come on," her Aunt was talking in soothing tones and as they moved through the room they were joined by a larger group of family members all trying to show their support for Shepard and all determined to leave with her.

"Liara," Cathy said across Shepard's chest as they were walking on either side of her, "do you think we should call Hannah to join us in my quarters?"

"I believe that may be a good idea, I shall put a call in…" but before Liara could finish her sentence they saw the hurrying figure of Hannah Shepard coming straight towards them. They were in the corridor now and they could all see she did not look happy in fact Liara could clearly see where her Shepard got her 'murderous' look from.

'Hannah it just came out of nowhere we were watching like hawks, kept them apart all evening and then," Cathy said as they came together and to a stop, Shepard was still in the daze that had descended on her after the fight.

"I am fighting every instinct I have to go in there a punch that man in the face myself, but what the hell good would it do, he is an evil, mean, miserable bastard. He will have a piece of my mind but not tonight." She looked across the group behind and around her daughter, "thank you all for looking out for her, thank you Cathy, I think she needs quiet. If it's ok with you I think Liara and I will take her back to my quarters and we'll catch up in the morning."

With thanks and assurances of support, pats on the back from many hands and goodnights all-round the group split with Hannah and Liara flanking and guiding Shepard off towards the accommodation block.

Once out of earshot Hannah said "I think we should take her back to your quarters Liara and just put her to bed, I'm sure she would rather just be with you, " Hannah smiled at her daughters lover who smiled appreciatively back, "let me know when you are both up and awake and she feels up to me coming over."

"Thank you Hannah I will and I will take care of her," they were outside their door and Hannah moved towards Liara and pulled the Asari into a hug and said,

"Of that I can be absolutely certain Liara and I thank you for it," Hannah Shepard turned and gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek and finished, 'see you in the morning get some sleep."

Shepard seemed to only just notice her mother and she nodded. They moved inside the rooms and within ten minutes Shepard was in bed and asleep but not the quiet, peaceful sleep of the night before, this sleep was full of restless torment.

As Liara sat on the edge of the bed watching over her love she decided she would get to the bottom of the bad feeling between Shepard and her Uncle, she would find out where the source of Shepard's pain was and try to help her heal it.

But for now she would try to soothe Shepard's sleep with a light meld and hold her safely in her arms through the dark night.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Shepard was brooding on the events of the night before and despite Liara's best efforts she refused to talk about what had happened.

Even when her mother arrived Shepard continued to slouch on the sofa and stare without really seeing at the movie playing out its story on the large vid screen on the wall.

Liara and Hannah exchanged a look and as Liara switched of the screen Hannah Shepard sat down opposite her daughter and spoke to her.

"He is a complete shit Lydia and I have never understood why he can affect you so much, for god's sake he's only your father's half-brother and a more pompous, uptight, irrelevant ass it is difficult to meet this side of a political convention," she was watching her daughter intently and was rewarded with a wan smile.

"I feel so embarrassed, I'm so sorry Liara, Mum, I really let you down, everything he says I am… the worst of who I am I laid out for him on a plate for everyone to see… just to prove him right." Shepard had looked at both of them as she apologised and then went back to staring at the now blank screen.

"But why Shepard, this has to be more about what you are hearing and not what he is saying," Liara said gently and stroked Shepard's arm.

Hannah leaned forward and said more softly, "Liara's right and the only reason I can think he has such and effect on you is because you think he is saying what your father would say if he was here," as Hannah watched her daughter she could see pain forcing its way onto her face. That confirmed her suspicions and Shepard's mother knew it was time to have this long overdue conversation.

"Look," Shepard suddenly sat up and her voice was now stronger as she spoke she looked from Liara to her mother, "whatever you think of him he was Dad's older brother and they were close, Dad rated him even if they saw some things differently.

They were close, Mum and there's no good you shaking your head, you know they were. So why shouldn't he know what… he will have known a different side of Dad and you can't tell me any different." Shepard leaned forward and with her elbows on her knees she held her head in her hands.

"But it's more than that, " Shepard's voice was lower and it was clear to the two women sitting with her it was also full of emotion, "what if he is just flat out right, for fucks sake when did I get the monopoly on knowing, really knowing, taking away someone's life certainty of knowing, what the right or the wrong thing to do is… dressing it up like I'm just trying to even the scales of justice when maybe it's just the red haze of battle fury, or worse the cold calculating fury of personal hate.

Do you honestly think I did the right thing hunting down every last one of those slavers and pirates on Torfan, even after we knew we'd beaten them, just so we could say we killed them all? I already lost a quarter of my squad before we chased them into their underground bunkers; I only came out with a handful of marines. Sent the Major mad with the knowledge we killed prisoner's… that was me… I did that… you look me in the eye and tell me you're proud of what I did that day." Shepard looked up and stared her mother square in the eyes.

"You know instead of whining about what it cost you marine you need to remember what your mission was," Hannah Shepard's words may have been harsh but her voice and her demeanour remained gentle, "your orders were to take any and all measures to end the threat from Batarian and other criminal elements who had not only carried out the Skyllian Blitz but who were continuing to attack Alliance settlements killing, torturing and stealing men, women and children to sell as slaves.

Your nightmares and the weight you carry come with the uniform and the rank, you know that. I know it and your father certainly knew it."

Liara leaned in towards Shepard and said, "I know that because of the action the Alliance took on Torfan that Batarian's started retreating from all across Citadel space which meant a lot of other worlds, settlements and colonies were also made safe."

Shepard flashed a look at Liara and a small nod to acknowledge the truth of what had been said, but turned back to her mother and asked, "but can you, hand on heart, tell me that Dad would have done the same thing, or that he wouldn't be ashamed of me?"

"Yes, I can," Hannah's voice was now powerful and her face stern and a little foreboding, "and I knew your father better than Lucas ever did. You forget sometimes Liv how much your father always tried hard to see the good in people, and especially with family he forgave them a lot. Lucas always had a chip on his shoulder, always felt he was better than his half brothers and sisters and he let them know it.

The Mikhalovich name and legacy is all he used to brag on about, worried that the Shepard blood would water down the family greatness… oh god I had no patience for him then and less now… yes his father died before Lucas was even born but plenty of kids lose their parents and turn out decent, but he is twisted inside and you can't see it because you think he has a direct line to your father well he doesn't." Hannah stood up suddenly and looked extremely upset.

"I won't have it, do you hear me, no more of this soul searching and second guessing. Your father would have been proud of you no matter what, he may have disagreed with some of your choices, though I can't say I can think of one so far, and you are more like him even than you realise." She had Shepard's full attention and when she spoke she looked from her daughter to Liara and asked,

"Answer me this, who knows you better than anyone else in the galaxy, who knows your mind and your heart and could answer best what you would might think about something if you weren't around to ask… if you and Liara are ever blessed with children who would you want your kids asking about what you may or may not feel or think about them… someone like Lucas… or your partner Liara, the mother of your children." As she finished speaking she had tears in her eyes and Shepard jumped off the sofa and wrapped her arms around her mother.

Shepard was shocked on so many levels by her mother's outburst but it had the desired effect, it snapped her out of whatever black hole of doubt and despair that the shadow of her father's voice had sent her into to.

Liara also looked wide eyed and decided the best thing to do was to make some tea for everyone. And when she returned with the drinks Shepard and her mother were sitting down and Hannah Shepard was once more composed and looking a little embarrassed.

"Asari tea, it is very soothing, can I get you anything to eat," Liara said as she busied herself with pouring the drinks.

"Tea will be lovely Liara," Hannah said, "well I don't think I've been that upset since, well, since my daughter nearly died on Elysium, or was it the time she nearly died on the Friezlan campaign, no it may have been…" she was cut by Shepard who through laughter said.

"Hell Mum you make me sound like a crap marine can't go anywhere without getting smashed up."

"Oh you should hear what Doctor Chakwas says about her," Liara joined in and they settled into some easy conversation which ranged from the number and style of concussions that Shepard had managed to rack up last year alone and how many times she broke something as a child growing up pushing her limits.

In the back of Shepard's mind she was trying to process how Liara had reacted to her mother talking about them having children and wondered how she herself felt about it.

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Although New Year's eve started badly for Shepard after getting straightened out by her mother and spending the day with Liara, Garrus, family and friends, by the time they were dressing to go out to the big party her happy mood was fully restored.

Shepard was also guaranteed not to bump into Admiral Mikhalovich, as she was now going to think of him, he was no kin to her any longer. He had been taken to task by pretty much most of the family present on the station and decided to leave taking his son, who did indeed have a broken nose, with him.

Shepard also reminded herself of how he had treated his daughter, her cousin and probably best friend as they were both growing up. Tasha and Shepard had joined the Alliance together, been at boot camp together and served in the 103rd Division where Tasha had then gone on to train and serve in the Special Forces.

She had run into some problems, Shepard never really knew what had happened, but Tash ended up being courts marshaled and was thrown out of the Alliance. Her father banned her from the family, disowned her, he was a complete bastard about it.

Shepard hadn't seen or heard from her since before all the trouble, she sometimes wondered if she should try to find her and see if she was ok, but there was always another mission, or prep for one, or some other duty that took her time up.

Shepard was broken out of her memories as Liara, dressed for their evening out, made her entrance into the lounge from the bedroom. Shepard wanted to do nothing but stand there for ever and enjoy completely the sight of her Asari lover's entrance… and what an entrance.

Liara was wearing a long dress, again made of some kind of material that hugged her figure accentuating the curves of her body, but also gave the impression of being liquid.

The dress was also cut so that it showed off her back and scooped in around her waist, she was also showing a little cleavage, and all in all it was a very sexy and sensual dress just about covering a very sexy and sensual body.

Shepard actually couldn't speak and just stood, giving the impression of her mouth hanging open, staring, at the most beautiful vision in the galaxy.

"Outstanding," was all she could manage as she held out her arm for Liara as they headed for the door. Shepard's dress blues a perfect foil for the silver of her Asari's dress.

It was a military dance as all the families and friends groups who were spending the holiday on Arcturus would all be celebrating together. There was even a rumour that Hackett himself may attend, Shepard wondered if Anderson would turn up with his Doctor in tow.

The evening was a huge success. Shepard and Liara had a fantastic time, Garrus had bonded with a small group of her single relatives and they were already into war stories and drinking games before the evening was warmed up.

The music was provided by a live band and a live dj doing alternate sets so most musical tastes were catered for.

As the evening got late the band took over completely and they played a lot of twentieth century jazz which seemed to be a favourite with a lot of Alliance officers, including Shepard. Her father had a big collection that predated his joining up and they got played a lot as she was growing up, she knew most of them off by heart.

They were dancing to a song called 'East of the Moon' and Shepard was quietly singing along close to Liara's ear. Shepard knew her limitations and couldn't really sing but up close and more whispering than singing Liara seemed to be enjoying the experience very much.

"Shepard," Liara said leaning back a little to look into her lovers eyes, "I believe there is an old Earth custom where couples choose a particular song that has meaning for them. Is this true?" Liara looked about as cute as Shepard had ever seen her look and couldn't help but drift in and kiss her briefly before answering.

"Well now have you been getting relationship tips or is this more research into the foibles of human courtship rituals?" Shepard smiled and then went on, "yes darling they do, and I'm afraid I already have one picked out for us… so I better let you in on it at some point, maybe." Shepard said in a teasing tone.

"But Shepard it will never be 'ours' if you do not share it with me. And why to you get to choose," with her last comment Liara playfully pushed Shepard's shoulder.

"Ah well we're not limited to just one… you could choose a piece of the equivalent of Asari opera that you make me sit through for hours on end, with me not understanding anything but it's still all very romantic and whenever it plays I think of my ass going numb but that no sacrifice is too great so long as it makes you happy,"

They laughed together and resumed their closer dancing. When the next song came on it was a slow version of 'I've got you under my skin'.

Shepard immediately gave Liara a very broad grin and said, "How's that for timing, this is the song that reminds me of you, of us. I was listening to some music not long after we met and I realised you really had gotten under my skin, I couldn't stop thinking about you," Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara.

Liara's eyes were glazed with tears but she looked so happy, "sing it to me Shepard" and they carried on dancing close until the night finally drew to a close.

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The following couple of days were pretty busy. As the holiday drew to a close the final day was filled with saying goodbyes and arranging to keep in touch.

Then back to the Normandy to prepare for the crew's return with a trip to the Citadel to pick up their science, tech and security teams and the rest of Shepard's specialist team.

As they made final check's before leaving the Citadel Shepard called a planning meeting of her team in the comms room.

"Well we need to just finish off the last system in the Omega Nebula but that will be quick and then we're going to head into Batarian space. The Alliance want us to look for any build-up of pirate activity, there have been merchant ships attacked in the area particularly close to the Arahot system.

But we're also heading there because I'm pretty sure that's where at least the dead Reaper was taken and probably the Artifact as well." She finished and threw it open to discussion and they chewed over the finer details of avoiding detection by the Batarian's in their home system.

When the meeting finished Shepard gave Joker his orders, "Set course for the Amada system Joker get us there quick as you can our real business is with the Batarians."

"Aye, aye Commander," and Joker eased the lithe, sleek and beautiful ship away from the dock and headed out to the relay.

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Shepard and Garrus had just sat down at the mess table with their lunch tray. They had almost finished scanning the Amada system, this was the last cluster and it was only a 'drive by'.

Joker came loud and clear over the comms at almost the same time an emergency alert started to sound throughout the ship, the alert was only amber but Joker's voice was giving a different message.

"Commander a very large ship has just dropped out of FTL directly in front of us, unknown signature, they know we're here," he was cut off by Pressley coming on the comms.

"We are in full stealth mode Commander they can't possibly know…." Before he could finish Ash's voice came over the comms.

"Commander they are powering some form of weapon, Joker full evasive…" and again before she could complete her sentence they all felt the ship jerk and shudder.

"Hit on engineering FTL drive offline… going to try to get behind this moon," Joker said calmly but the edge in his voice clear to all.

"Joker send highest priority, SOS Delta, to Alliance, keep repeating and launch a beacon we will not be sending from the escape pods do you hear me?" Shepard spoke into her ear comms directly to Joker.

"Copy that Commander, SOS, abandon ship, Delta 5 Gamma," Joker answered.

At that moment Liara and Chakwas came out of the medbay, they had been meeting about something and Shepard couldn't think what, then she snapped into action.

Moving swiftly to the gear lockers and activating a control console located above them, she began pulling on her heavy armour which was also a full pressure suit as she keyed in the automated abandon ship order. She also spoke over the ship wide comms system.

"Listen up this is a direct and immediate actionable order… do not go to red battle stations… do not go to red battle stations… abandon ship… abandon ship… go immediately to the nearest escape pod… do not activate homing beacons or any comms system until you are contacted by an Alliance rescue call… I repeat safety protocol Delta 5 Gamma… protocol Delta 5 Gamma… abandon ship immediately... Shepard out"

She turned to look at Liara, Chakwas, Garrus and the group of other crew who had been in the mess hall who were all gathering around her.

"Delta 5 Gamma means no comms not even suit to suit, whoever this is they managed to find us in stealth, they'll be able to pick everyone off via comms or emergency beacon signals, they're here to kill we will not make it easy for them.

The Alliance has already had our ship distress call they will come for us." She looked at Liara first and then the others "what the fuck are you all standing around for get to the pods on this level and get off this ship."

With that everyone apart from Liara and Garrus ran to the far bulkhead and started unlocking the emergency escape pods, another shudder and ship seemed to lurch again.

"I am staying Shepard what do we need to do," Liara said, by this time Shepard had gotten on her armour and Garrus was just beginning to grab his out of the lockers.

"Both of you now into a pod," she looked at Garrus, "get her into a pod and keep her safe Garrus that's a direct order."

"No Shepard I will not leave…" Shepard cut Liara off and touched her cheek then said "I'm just going to run up to CIC and grab a pod from there, I need to make sure I get as many of my crew out as possible, now please Liara for me so I don't have to worry, go" and with that Shepard snapped on her helmet and began running across the mess hall and towards the stairs.

She looked behind just as she was about to turn the corner and saw Garrus almost pulling Liara towards the escape pods and saw the Doc joining Garrus and helping to cajole Liara in the right direction.

Shepard switched on her suit comms "sit rep Joker, Ash anyone."

"Second hit took out CIC Commander… I only have manoeuvring thrusters still trying to make it to the nearest moon for cover…"

"Get out Joker you heard the command get to an escape pod now that's an order mister."

She had now reached CIC and it was a mess, blasted and twisted consoles, the galaxy map command deck was chewed up and hull breaches from side to side, only flickering fields of blue energy keeping out the cold dark vacuum of space, but they wouldn't last long.

Shepard tried hard not to wonder how many made it to the pods and she gave a cursory check to the few bodies lying around, but even from a distance they were clearly dead and some almost unrecognisable.

"Spencer was hit in the first blast Commander and I can't get to him, sorry but I also think I broke my leg…" Joker broke off and Shepard now headed at a pace for the cockpit. As she got closer she was walking under an open sky; looking up she saw the planet huge and so close she could make out its surface, and a moon drifting closer, her boots automatically switching to mag mode.

As she approached the cockpit she saw more flickering blue and passing thorough it went straight to where Spencer was slumped over the console, head covered in blood, and hauled him up, dragging him into the cockpit escape pod. Next she went to Joker and as she was just starting to lift him out of his chair he said.

"Shit Commander they're coming around for another hit," they both fixed their eyes on the ship that was indeed turning again to fire on the now completely disabled and slowly disintegrating Normandy.

She redoubled her efforts to get her pilot out of his seat and lifted him bodily knowing she was probably breaking more bones but there was no other way.

"Sorry Commander, I couldn't… they were so quick… I" she cut him off.

"You did great Joker; you did everything I would have expected; now let's get into that fucking escape pod."

"Shit someone really wants you dead huh Commander," Joker was trying to mask the pain as she passed him through the door and he slumped into the seat inside the pod.

Just as Joker was settled inside another blaze of light smashed into the Normandy causing it to twist and shudder and an explosion tore through what was left of the bulkheads around the pod blasting Shepard backwards through space.

She grabbed the wall and looked into Jokers face he was shouting from inside the door of the pod but she couldn't hear him, she had switched of her comms and the pods were all automatically disabled until reset… she looked to where her left hand was on the wall and saw the pod release control.

She hit it and saw the door close just as another blast hit and she felt herself being punched with great force backwards along with the other loose debris from the cockpit and CIC.

Shepard steadied her breathing and tried not to panic, she looked at the scene lighting up her faceplate, the Normandy flashing with fire and explosions, torn to pieces and breaking apart, the enormous unknown vessel that had taken her ship and who knew how many of her crew.

She saw a few of the small emergency pods being blasted away from danger and hoped all of them were full, they were safe unless their attackers decided to just start blasting at the wreckage, they were too small to pick out of the mass of debris that was now littering the area.

Somewhere in one of those was Liara, safe, mad as hell, she was going to really get an earful when they were reunited. She felt calmer, she was in a full pressure suit, the only question was would her air last until a rescue ship turned up and was she going to get caught in the gravity well of either that fucking big planet or the equally dangerous moon.

Then she heard it, a soft but persistent bleep, and red flashing light on her HUD. She was losing oxygen, the gauge was falling as she was looking at it, every breath out was lost to space and not being recycled, but worse than that there was also a leak from air reserves tank. She tried to feel the pipes but it was no good, she would only be able to feel if there was a clear break or crack and the damage was obviously smaller but no less deadly.

"Well what did you expect Shepard if it's going to go wrong it fucking will… yeah Joker someone really wants me dead and it looks like they managed it… fuck.. this is so fucking not fair" she allowed her panic and fear to move into anger, what else could she do.

The pain and the real fear started as she saw the gauge hit empty, she struggled to breath to get a breath despite knowing logically there was no air, it was instinctual, she had no control, she was human you kept trying to live even when you know you're dying.

She felt dizzy then realised she couldn't see the light around her anymore, not even the fires that still burned on parts of the Normandy, she couldn't remember what she was trying to do and then nothing.

If anyone could have seen Shepard at that moment they would have seen her body going into convulsions while drifting amongst debris from her ship towards the gravity wells of the planet and the moon.

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In one of the escape pods Liara was sitting between Doctor Chakwas and Garrus, with the rest of the eight spaces also filled with crew from the mess deck.

Liara was sick with worry she had such a bad feeling, she was mad at Shepard for making her leave, at Garrus and Karin for somehow getting her into the pod, but most of all she was angry with herself for not staying to help and make sure her love got of the ship.

Some in the pod were looking out of the small port holes watching as their ship disintegrated, but Liara didn't dare, Shepard could still be on it, or racing for a pod with the thing falling apart around her.

"Shepard will be fine Liara she will have seen the damage to the CIC and jumped straight into a pod, she was probably out the airlock before we were," Garrus tried to force his voice to be positive.

"You don't know that Garrus, but… thank you for trying to…" she stopped speaking as a strange, physical feeling swept through her body.

Liara had never felt anything like it before; she felt absolute panic and then couldn't breathe. Chakwas and Garrus turned with concern and then worry as they saw the young Asari struggling.

"Lay her down on her side," the Doctor said and with Garrus and another crew member helped move Liara gently onto the floor, "Liara it's alright you're having a panic attack I think, just try to breath normally."

And then suddenly it stopped, she could breathe again, and the panic had stopped, but something else was there… nothing… a cold, empty space we're she could always feel her connection with Shepard.

"No… no… she's not there… she's… Shepard" Liara sat up and moved so that she could look out of the nearest port hole and as the rest of her companions in the pod looked on Liara broke down into hysterical crying staring out at the scene of devastation, her hands scrapping at the window as if in an attempt to get out.

"Garrus pass me that medical kit I'm going to sedate her," Chakwas said as she moved to try to hold and soothe Liara, who on the Doctors touch turned to face her, eyes wild she looked out of her mind with grief.

"She's gone Karin… inside me… the connection… she's not there… you don't understand… Shepard is gone" and then Liara lapsed into incoherent sounds full of pain and misery.

"I'm going to give you something to help, and I do understand, I am so sorry Liara," Karin Chakwas gave Liara the sedative and the grieving Asari began to quieten and they made her comfortable on a sleep pad on the floor.

Garrus and the rest of the crew in the pod all looked at the Doctor for some kind of assurance, something, they had all worked out what Liara had felt and what it might mean.

With a very heavy heart and grief beginning to take her as well Doctor Chakwas looked around and said,

"Their bond is strong and I'm afraid to say if Liara can no longer feel it then we have lost not only dear friends and our ship but we have also lost our Commander." She sat back in her seat her eyes glazed with tears.

The rest of the crew also sat back in shock, with loss and grief for everything that had just happened washing over them.

Garrus felt broken, he had no idea how he would deal with the loss of such a close and good friend and how he could help Liara who was devastated.

As deeply as Shepard's life had touched them all so would her death, Garrus just hoped he had the strength to follow through on his Commanders final orders, '_keep her safe Garrus that's a direct order.'_


	19. Chapter 19

A/N We are going to spend a little time with Liara this chapter but don't worry Shep will be back.

And just to say I really do value any feedback that you guys want to give me.

Welcome and thank you to our new joiners and thank you for those of you who are sticking with the story.

Chapter 19

Liara didn't remember much about the arrival of the rescue vessels, or their time in the pod, as Doctor Chakwas kept her under light sedation for the young Asari's wellbeing.

The slowly drifting silver lifesaving capsules, their mass fields protecting the precious lives within, were still almost impossible to pick out amongst the debris field. But when the first rescue ship arrived on the scene the call and response of coded signals, activated automatically, allowed for rapid recovery.

The crew in the pods were alerted to their imminent rescue as their emergency beacons and comms systems came to life. Many faces gathered around port holes searching for their rescuers and conversations started about which ship it would likely be given they were in a far flung corner of the Terminus system and a long way from Citadel space.

To some surprise the vessel was not Alliance but Asari. The Normandy, after all, was both an Alliance and a Council ship. When Arcturus had received the distress call's and the notification of the Gamma protocol all Alliance ships in the Terminus system, which included a small scout flotilla, were directed to the Normandy's coordinates.

Admiral Hackett had taken the decision to kept notification outside the Alliance at an extremely high security level and contacted Councillor Tevos personally only because he knew an Asari science vessel was within ten hours of the Normandy's location and the nearest Alliance vessel was twenty four hours away.

He wanted to know more about the 'unknown' attacker and _'how the hell they even knew the Normandy was in that system let alone how they bypassed the ships full stealth mode'_ and until his crew had been secured he was going to keep both the destruction of the Normandy and knowledge of survivor's as highly classified and protected information.

Once safely aboard the Asari ship the surviving crew were able to reunite and begin to count the full cost of their loss. Doctor Chakwas spent a little time with the crew before disappearing to the Asari medical centre to oversee the care of her injured crew. Liara had also been taken directly to the med centre Garrus at her side steadfastly refusing to move further than a few feet away and never letting her out of his sight.

They had lost over half the fifty crew compliment. No emergency pods had even been launched from CIC and only one from the lowest level on the engineering/storage deck.

The first hit on the Normandy was targeted on engineering and it killed everyone on duty. It also ripped through the storage deck killing most of the marine and security team, injuring others, destroying both the Mako and Kodiak as it tore gaping holes in the hull of the ship.

The only survivors owed their lives to Wrex who managed to carry three injured marines into an emergency pod before another hit decimated what was left of the storage area, including one full emergency pod just before it managed to deploy. Only Wrex and the three marines got away and one had already died while they were waiting for rescue.

Kasumi and a good number of the science team made it out and those lucky enough to be on the mess deck which included Liara's team. But they lost everyone from CIC incuding Ash and Pressley who were still at their posts.

When Garrus found out they had also lost Ash he was surprised he was able to actually feel more wretched than he already did. He was thankful that Wrex was ok and said so when the Krogan came to see him in the med centre.

"Yeah," the big Krogan said sadness etched into his body language and easily heard in his voice, "glad to see you too," and he gave Garrus a small pat on the shoulder. Then he turned to look at Liara who, despite the remains of the sedation, appeared to be restless and troubled in her shallow sleep.

"How did she take it?"

"Badly, she was… is… inconsolable," Garrus said now also turning to the fragile looking Asari, "they were so close Wrex, and this… so sudden… I don't know… it's going to be hard for her. But I have my orders from Shepard and I won't let either of them down." Garrus finished, his voice almost breaking.

Wrex turned and nodded slowly "anything you need from me, you got it, you take good care of that little girl, and it's all we can do for Shepard now.

But I'm going back to Tuchanka to try to get my people ready for the Reapers. If there's one thing Shepard taught me it's that we're going to have to work together to beat them and dammit if she didn't make me feel like I should give my people another chance to be better than they are."

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The Asari ship sat in an orbit around the nearest moon and waited for the rendezvous with Alliance vessels racing to the coordinates. The Asari crew made the Normandy survivors as comfortable and welcome as possible giving up their beds so that the more exhausted could try to get some rest.

Once the Alliance arrived the crew and the escape pods were transferred to the SSV Budapest for the journey back to Arcturus Station. Other Alliance ships were on the scene searching, in name at least, for survivors; although it was bodies they knew they would find.

And they searched for answers, although that would be a race against time as the wrecked Normandy was caught in the gravity well of the planet Alchera and was in a degrading orbit, a lot of the smaller pieces of wreckage and detritus was already hitting the edge of the planet's atmosphere.

On the journey to Arcturus Liara remained in the officer's cabin she had been assigned not even leaving for meals. She was exhibiting symptoms of psychological shock, detached and distant, hardly saying a word.

The Asari ship's counsellor, a Siari priestess, was travelling back to Arcturus with Liara at her request. She spent a lot of time with the young Asari trying to encourage her to meditate and talking to her of the effects of losing a bondmate.

Shepard and Liara had not formerly, officially, acknowledged their joining as such but the reality was they had indeed formed a deep and fully joined bond, that much was very clear to the Priestess which caused her grave concerns.

Priestess D'Leet discussed the implications with Doctor Chakwas at the Doctor's request. Karin still felt completely responsible for Liara's health and wellbeing and she wanted to understand what was happening to her friend and, still, crew member.

"The strength of such a bond needs a maturity not only of the mind and spirit but also of the body. It will be difficult for a non-Asari to understand but Doctor T'Soni is still very young, yet we have to accept she is mature enough to have made the bond." The Priestess looked and sounded troubled.

"Yes I have to admit I am not as familiar as I ought to be with Asari physiology unless it's in terms of injury, what does this mean for Liara?"

"You say she seemed to experience something akin to what the Commander may have been experiencing at her death," Karin nodded her assertion and D'Leet continued, "this is not uncommon in long lasting deep bonding's, but with experience and maturity the actual physical effects are contained or blocked at an unconscious level.

To have that experience on top of losing a bondmate at such an young age and what I have sensed was such a powerful bond then Liara will not find the grieving and loss process in any way straightforward.

She should go back to Thessia and spend time within a Temple with an Atamna; it is how we describe groups of our high priestesses."

"Has she been affected physically?" Doctor Chakwas pressed D'Leet as she still didn't feel she understood what was or would continue to happen to Liara.

"She will continue to feel the after effects of the physical 'sharing' of her bondmates death, but they will fade reasonably quickly. The emotional loss will take its course, she will find her way as we all do along the path of grief, but it is the psychological and spiritual damage that concerns me. These young bonding's happen so rarely and losing a bondmate in these circumstances even more rare, almost unheard of, well, as I said she will need the support of our most experienced and knowledgeable spiritual guides."

Both women sat in silence both thinking about the terrible and painful journey the young Asari was going to have to go through.

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As soon as Admiral Hackett had set in motion the search and rescue operation for the Normandy, and had spoken to Councillor Tevos, his next call was to the SSV Kilimanjaro.

Since assuming command of the Alliance Navy Hackett had needed to make Arcturus his base. But Captain Hannah Shepard remained the XO on his old flagship combining her special duties leading the intelligence unit and her duties on board.

When he told her of the distress call from the Normandy she was obviously concerned but she was the consummate professional Alliance officer and until they had a sit rep she would remain confident that the Normandy's Commander had made a successful evacuation of her ship with her crew.

When Hackett got the report from the Asari Captain and he had the opportunity to have a very brief word with Lieutenant Moreau to ensure absolutely that Commander Lydia Vega Shepard had been killed in action, he was ready, but deeply saddened, to make the second call to his former XO.

"Admiral I assume the rescue teams have reached the Normandy coordinates," Hannah Shepard was standing, alone, in the Kilimanjaro's QEC room, ram rod straight her uniform and her rank providing a shield to her emotions.

"Hannah," on hearing Hackett use her first name she knew it would be the worst news, it wasn't the first time he had used it, they had known each other for years after all, were friends, but he only used it in the most informal of situations or…

"I have confirmation that LV was killed while saving two of her crew in the final moments before the Normandy was destroyed completely.

There is little room for doubt; we have data from both the Normandy systems and the escape pod that she loaded her crew members into. You have my deepest sympathies Hannah. Shepard…"

As Hackett used the name that was more usual for him Shepard's mother felt her composure slip just a little, he continued "… is a huge loss for the Alliance and for humanity, she died as she lived, bravely putting her life on the line to save others. Little comfort that she will be put forward, and receive, a posthumous medal for bravery."

"What were the overall losses," Captain Shepard needed to stop the Tsunami of emotion that was beginning to build momentum with her, "Liara?"

"We lost around twenty six crew, including members of the special teams. I am expecting accurate figures shortly; Liara is alive but not doing well by all accounts.

The Budapest should be on scene within ten hours to pick up the survivors and return them to Arcturus." Even to those who had known him since he was a young man Hackett was hard to read but she saw sorrow in his eyes as he spoke.

"I would like permission to meet them there Admiral," Hannah knew from her own experience what Liara would be going through. In that moment she felt her barriers weaken as she thought of the last time her world had crashed around her ears when she received the news of the death of her husband.

"Of course Hannah, I'll make all the necessary arrangements; we'll talk when you get here, Hackett out." The figure of Admiral Hackett turned and the image broke up.

Hannah Shepard sent a brief message to her Captain, who was aware of the situation, removing herself from duty and she went to her cabin.

Once inside she could let the barriers between Alliance officer and mother dissolve and allow the heart rending sobs, tears, despair and pain overtake her.

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As they were docking Liara made a request to Admiral Hackett through Doctor Chakwas and Karin realised just how important it was given that Liara had hardly said twenty words since Shepard's death.

So two hours after disembarking Liara finally found herself walking into the bedroom she had shared with Shepard on their visit to Arcturus merely a week ago. The last week of her life that she would feel truly alive and whole.

Liara moved over to edge of the bed and tried to visualise the last time Shepard had been laying in it, the last words they had said to each other in this room. She didn't want to think about the last words Shepard had said to her on the Normandy, that was to final, to… painful.

She had a sudden urge to have something, anything of Shepard's, clothes, something that had touched her love, smelt of her… the sheets, pillows all newly laundered… it was as if Shepard had been washed out of the galaxy.

And then it came, the distance she had managed to hold in place shattered to pieces with the realisation it was over, Shepard was not coming back, there was nothing she could do or say to change it… nothing.

Liara fell to her knees next to the bed as the emotion swept through her and she was finally able to let it out, inhabit it. A low pain sodden, wracking howl ripped from her very soul and she wrapped her arms around herself tightly either for comfort or to hold herself together she couldn't tell; gut wrenching sobs physically rocking her body, as she entered a state of absolute loss, pain and anger.

In the lounge Garrus stood looking out the long window not seeing the ships slowly manoeuvring towards or away from the docking bays, each howl of pain from the bedroom cutting though him like a jagged blade.

On the dining table Priestess D'Leet was laying out a small alter whilst offering small chants, affirmations and prayer to release soothing and calming energy. She was also readying herself for when she would be called to try to explain, even justify, why the Goddess had been so cruel.

The Priestess would need to help Liara remember that Shepard's death meant the merging of her spiritual energy back into the greater universal consciousness. And whilst Liara may well accept and believe that to be the case it would offer no comfort of peace for her, yet, not at this, the most acute, moment of loss.

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The week that followed had a momentum of its own that seemed unstoppable. Shepard's mother arrived and despite her own grief and obvious pain did everything she could to support Liara. They became very close and Hannah made sure that Liara was involved in every aspect of the planning of Shepard's memorial service and any other arrangements that were needed or required an opinion on.

Despite the cost Liara put herself back together at times so that she could do the things she knew Shepard would want her to do. She visited the crew to see how they were doing and to wish them well, they were still Shepard's crew and in a bizarre way the only 'thing' that was physically left of her human lover, at least until they were all reassigned.

The one person she did not want to visit was Joker, not because she blamed him in any way. She knew from speaking to Karin that he blamed himself terribly, he was also still in the hospital as he had suffered extensive injury.

No it wasn't because she had any animosity towards him, but she would have to ask, she wouldn't be able not to… what happened… exactly… every detail… every word… until the door of the pod shut, until Joker watched as the life signs flat lined on the pod's scanner.

And she desperately wanted to know… and she didn't… because she knew she would just play it over and over again to torment herself. She already knew more than Joker, more than anyone ever could or would, she shared the last moments with Shepard, the last moments…

"Jeff," Liara said quietly sitting next to the bed.

He looked haggard, not the joking, wisecracking pilot of old. He could barely look her in the eye, pain, guilt and remorse clear to be seen in his eyes and on his hollow face.

"I'm real sorry Liara… feel like such a useless… if… but I… we were both injured and you know the Commander she just… well you know Shepard," he trailed off eyes now fixed on the bed sheets.

"Yes Jeff I do know Shepard and so do you and she would not want you to take any responsibility for what happened, you know that and you must be kind to yourself and get well." Liara reached over and laid her hand across his.

He looked at her and gave a small nod but looked a little less fraught. Then she asked the question and he told her step by step, word for word, action for action. Liara could tell he had been down the path she was about to tread, he sounded like a man who had relived those final minutes over and over again.

The memorial service for Shepard and the rest of the crew who had been lost was to be held on Earth in Vancouver. There were to be services for Shepard held across Citadel space at the same time and on places like Elysium, Eden Prime, Terra Nova and many more like them, places Shepard had made a difference, saved lives, and restored peace.

The main galactic wide ceremony would be on the Citadel. There was some pressure to only hold one official ceremony and for it to be on the Citadel but Shepard was Alliance, one of their own, she was an Alliance hero before she was a Council one. Vancouver home of the Alliance Navy was where they would say goodbye to her.

Captain Hannah Shepard and Doctor Liara T'Soni were chief mourners and guests of honour. For the ceremony, like most things she had to do that involved her not being on her own, she dropped back into detachment and distance.

When she was alone she didn't have to hold back the tide and she had only allowed Hannah Shepard in to that space, accepting the comfort of being held through a particularly sudden and violent breakdown.

So for Liara the ceremony was an unfocussed dreamlike memory even as it was happening. Hannah suggested that Liara collect Shepard's medal but the young Asari felt that that honour must belong to Shepard's mother.

Eventually it was over and in the hotel room afterwards she said goodbye to both the Priestess D'Leet and Hannah Shepard. Liara and Garrus had talked about his conviction to stay by Liara's side and she understood it was out of a deep caring for her and his need to fulfil his promise to Shepard.

Truth be told she had grown used to his quiet presence and he did a surprising amount of organising and crown control to ensure she had as easy a time a possible.

Garrus was also something else of Shepard's that was left to her, it seems that her lover's legacy would be people and her connection with them, and that thought made her proud and made tears fall slowly down her cheeks at the thought of what they had all lost to the dark embrace of space.

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When it was time to leave Earth Liara had no idea where she wanted or needed to go. She had considered returning to Hasperos, perhaps even setting up home there, they had been so happy and spent so much time together, she would find Shepard there.

But that would not work, she knew she wouldn't find Shepard, only painful reminders at every turn of what she had and lost. No she wanted to have Hasperos as a perfect memory she did not want to taint it with her grief. She remembered suddenly her laughing at Shepard on the journey to the Phosphorus system, because at times her lover sounded just like a tour guide.

They had laughed together about it and Shepard had made the effort to sound even more like a 'tour bus driver' which Liara never quite understood but it amused Shepard which was enough for her.

No, she would go home, the only home she would ever know now, to Thessia, and her mother's, no her, estate. So she asked Garrus to make the arrangements.

On their arrival Liara decided she would stay in one of the guest houses scattered across the extensive grounds, one that gave her a view and easy access to the lake. She didn't want to live in the main house, yet, and perhaps never would.

Garrus choose to also stay in another of the guest houses he really didn't want to be alone with only the servants for company. Garrus had not only been watching over Liara and doing what he could to keep her safe since the loss of the Normandy; he had also started talking to people in Palavan about the threat from the Reapers.

Even trying to persuade his father that this was something the Hierarchy needed to take seriously. Garrus may well have fallen out with his father, or rather his father had practically disowned him, over his career choices but the time spent with a 'galactic hero' and the medal for his role in the Battle for the Citadel seemed to have impressed his father enough to warrant at least a reopening of their relationship.

Garrus swung from feeling if it was ok to trade on all that stuff, which he didn't actively do but didn't challenge his father about it, as it meant his father was willing to open doors for him with influential members of Turian military life.

And then felt really angry and wished he could tell his father that he was the same man with or without a piece of tin and Shepard was a decent human who saw something in Garrus that his father never had and was worth two of him and she shouldn't be treated like some kind of trophy.

He had no idea if he was or would get anywhere but he was going to try and if it meant having a dent in his pride or having to bite his tongue with his father he'd do that to, maybe Shepard had helped him grow up, he thought with a sad smile, as well as all the other things she had shown him he could be.

They quickly fell into a routine on the T'Soni estate. Garrus would join Liara for breakfast as would Matriach T'Joan still the housekeeper of the estate and Liara's former nanny. They would eat breakfast and watch the quiet, distant young Asari eat very little.

Liara would then take up her place on a chair on the small rise overlooking the lake, not far from her guest house, where she would sit, with a soft blanket wrapped across her shoulders. She would take lunch by the lake and often miss dinner completely.

The days turned into a week and apart from conversations with Garrus about any progress he was making, which he firmly believed she was making out of politeness and wouldn't remember any of what they talked about if you had asked her ten minutes later; and conversations with Matriarch T'Joan about what Liara would like to do with the estate and business's now that she was back, which Liara did not engage with at all, she spoke to no one.

But both Garrus and T'Joan agreed it was very early days and the rest at least must be doing Liara good.

A few days later as the afternoon was running into evening the Matriarch called through to Garrus on the estate comms system.

"Mr Vakarian Liara has just had a visitor arrive and I think it may be a good idea if you decided to join them," Matriarch T'Joan sounded her usual calm and efficient self but there was a clear instruction in her words.

"Who is it?" he asked curious to see who could ruffle someone he thought impermeable to the vagaries of everyday life.

"I believe you may have met her Shiala, she was one of the Lady Benezia's closest and most ardent followers. She appeared to have something specific to speak to Liara about, this is not entirely social."

"On my way," Garrus did indeed know Shiala, they had met on Feros when the team went to investigate Geth activity. That creature, plant, whatever the hell it was still gave him a shiver down his spine.

He nodded hello and joined Liara and Shiala around the small table set just outside the guest house and helped himself to some Asari tea which he was getting frighteningly accustomed to.

The first thing he noticed was how animated Liara was, it was the most… well… alive he had seen her since they lost Shepard. Then she spoke and he also heard the anger in her voice.

"Tell Garrus what you just told me," not only anger but her voice was hard as were her eyes, Garrus was now worried, whatever this was it wasn't good.

Shiala seemed to hesitate and gave Liara a questioning look.

"Garrus is my friend Shiala I trust him with my life as did Shepard," her voice and demeanour was more commanding than he had ever heard her be, _'that was pure Benezia,"_ he thought.

"I have been working as an information broker on Illium for the Shadow Broker and some information has come to me regarding Commander Shepard..." Liara interrupted her abruptly.

"Get on with it Shiala, Garrus the Shadow Broker has sent mercs to find Shepard's body to sell to the Collectors, and Shiala believes they have found her and that the exchange is going to happen very soon on Omega… we must tell the Alliance or the Council or someone," she looked completely distraught.

"Hell, are you sure… which mercs Shiala and how close are they to finding… to… recovering the Commander," Garrus's mind was racing he knew how hard it was going to be to get the Alliance to act quickly and if the deal was going down soon…

"No, if a whisper leaks that someone knows about the exchange they will change the details and you will never find them…" Shiala looked from Garrus to Liara, "if you want to stop this you are going to have to act quickly and without alerting the Shadow Broker, it's the Blue Suns," she said turning to Garrus, "but the bigger problem is that Tazzik is overseeing the operation and the exchange."

Before Garrus could say anything Liara stood up and said, "Then that is what we will do. Shiala I want you to have a small squad of Asari commando's ready to leave with us in four hours. Garrus hire a small ship, fast and with firepower, ready to leave in four hours for Omega." When she had finished speaking she began walking into the house, they were dismissed.

"Tazzik is a mean son of a bitch this is not going to be easy, did you really think it was a good idea bringing this to her the state she's in?" Garrus said not hiding his annoyance at Shiala.

"She is the daughter Lady Benezia T'Soni she will not let a loss even of someone like Shepard stop her from doing anything she wants, and what would she have said if I had not told her?" as Shiala spoke there was a brief flash of something in her eyes that Garrus couldn't quite work out but it worried him.

Meanwhile Liara had called up T'Joan to organise armour and weapons for herself, Garrus and Shiala, and to make sure they both had the resources they needed to make the arrangements she had given them.

Everything was ready exactly as she had ordered and the small scout ship left Thessia five hours after Liara had been told that her beloved Shepard was in danger of falling into the hands of the Collectors, which was something that she would not allow.

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On a Blue Suns merc ship heading at speed for the Amada system the Captain tasked by Tazzik to recover Shepard's body is talking to his team about their latest commission from the Shadow Broker.

"We have a stasis pod on board so as soon as we pick up the body and drop it in the pod we head back to Omega, this is easy credits," he said with a greasy grin.

"Yeah but we got to find it first… it's a big moon" one of his men snarled.

"Nah somebody did a lot of calculating to find out where the dumb fuck landed so we won't have to search for long."

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Dr Miranda Lawson walked into her meeting with the Illusive Man's and was so distracted she didn't even notice the raging, boiling sun that filled the glass wall behind his chair.

"Miranda, kind of you to join me," he said in a kindly voice, "Dr Ortega feels that with the length of time between death and recovery our attempts will prove futile," he finished and took a look inhale on his cigarette.

"He's wrong the Lazarus Project calculations has allowed for a longer period after death than this for a viable result, we have no idea about the state of the body, if the suite was punctured then she would have been in a vacuum from very early on which means there will be no decomposition.

My concern is the amount of damage from entry; if it's true they located her on the moon then that may also work in our favour. We can't not try, surely, she was a bloody icon, and we should at least try to get her back."

"My thoughts exactly Miranda," TIM said through another cloud of smoke, "Doctor Ortega lacks your skill and expertise, and perhaps he would rather not have you outshine him, petty, but very human.

We have a problem though, the Shadow Broker does not want to sell the body to us, and he had an altogether better buyer, the Collectors. Our network is not strong in the Terminus system and Omega particularly, so I am sending you and a small team.

If you don't retrieve Shepard's body then we will never know if you could have revived our human hero. Don't fail."

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On a cold, dark moon, in a vast crater, a crumpled shape stands out from the background; the pale almost white dust that covers the surface a perfect backdrop for the black armour plates and signature red stripe of Shepard's hard suit.

Faceplate smashed off and helmet cracked on impact, blank eyes stare up into the dark of space, oblivious to the continuing interest in her dead or alive.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N So we go way to the left of cannon for a few of the threads of our story in this chapter. Hope you like the turns. Shepard will be joining us in the next chapter and be prepared for a bumpy ride. This chapter is a bit dark... did I say a bit...

Chapter 20

On the way to Omega Liara gave a great deal of thought as to how and from what angle she should approach Omega's pirate queen.

The young Asari had no idea whether Aria T'Loak would be helpful or obstructive, whether she would even take her seriously, Liara was smart enough to know she couldn't trade on Shepard's obviously 'friendly' arrangement with Aria.

Liara was also smart enough to know that she might as well be honest and open from the start, even if it put her at a disadvantage from the outset, as she was no match for the wily, astute and very experienced Matriarch who ruled Omega and whose influence snaked across Citadel space.

After discussing how to find out the exact timings and location of the handover it was decided that Shiala and Garrus would start looking for Tazzik and work the problem from the Blue Suns end. Liara was going to talk to Aria with just a couple of her Asari commandos in case of trouble, the other six would remain on the ship, as she did not want to tip her hand in case anyone was watching.

As soon as the ship docked they each went to their tasks and Liara made straight for Afterlife.

She was a little surprised to be met at the front door by one of Aria's men, a tall Turian, who said that his boss was expecting her and he would take her straight through.

They moved quickly through the main floor of the club and instead of going up to Aria's usual haunt they passed through a door in the wall underneath her balcony and on up a corridor coming out in a hallway. He indicated the door in front of them and said 'she will see you alone," nodding at the two Asari with her.

"Wait here for me," she said to her commando's and then moved to enter the room, only pausing momentarily, fighting back the urge to knock and feeling as if she was about to enter her mother's study to explain herself for some wrongheaded notion.

Aria was sitting behind a desk but got up as Liara entered the room. It just wasn't what she had imagined, something as ordinary as an office, but it made sense, Aria ran a business empire and at some point she must have to do more than just talk to people.

"I was sorry to hear about Shepard, I was looking forward to sparring with her," and as Aria spoke she stood in front of Liara and put a hand to the young Asari's cheek, then as if catching herself moved back and gestured towards a couple of sofa's.

Liara sat on the very edge of the sofa, confused by Aria's apparent kindness and her gesture, perhaps her reputation was undeserved, but she pulled her thoughts together and started to speak.

"I… thank you for seeing me… I… well" and not wanting to annoy the regal, powerful and frankly scary Matriarch in front of her when she continued it was at a run. "The Shadow Broker has engaged the Blue Suns to find Shepard's body and will sell it to the Collectors and the exchange will happen on Omega, and they have found her and the exchange will be soon and… I… well need to tell you I will not let it happen… and if you could help with…"she trailed off.

As Liara had been speaking she noticed Aria stiffen, standing up and turning her back on Liara until there was silence in the room. Still with her back to Liara she said.

"What do you want me to do about it," her voice this time was the haughty and cold voice Liara had been familiar with as Aria continued "business is business, you should stay out of it, and after all, Shepard won't know any different."

The last sentence cut through Liara like acid and she leapt to her feet all thoughts of diplomacy and keeping Aria onside gone.

"How dare you think of Shepard as something to buy and sell… she gave everything to serve the galaxy, she was brave and fearless and she deserves, will get respect, I will not allow her to be given to these Collectors for whatever experiments… they… I will not allow it do you hear me," Liara's voice, strong and angry to start with faded as tears seared her eyes and sobs caught in her chest.

She absolutely didn't want to break down in front of this monster but it was all she could do to keep as much control as she was. To Liara's shock and surprise Aria turned and in one smooth movement was in front of Liara and pulled her into a hug.

When Aria spoke this time it was softly and gently, "I understand, we can talk about what can be done, calm yourself now. Your no match for the Shadow Broker or the Collectors Liara these are very dangerous enemies to make, even I would rather not make an enemy of the Shadow Broker." Aria pulled away a little to look into the young Asari's face and then walked them both to one of the sofas, once they were sat down Aria continued.

"But the Collectors are already on my shit list and if they step foot on Omega and I know about it they leave out an airlock," she smiled down at Liara who was still shocked by Aria's kindness, exhausted by her emotional outburst and worried that she still hadn't made the older Asari understand what needed to be done.

"But I have to stop them," she said quietly "I have to stop what they want to do with… Shepard," and tears once again began to fall slowly down her cheeks.

"We will make an arrangement Doctor T'Soni," Aria said and although her words were business like she still had an arm around Liara and her voice was gentle, "I will help but you must tell no one, not even anyone you are working with, not Garrus and certainly not Shiala." She smiled at Liara's surprised expression, "information one of my more important business's Liara and don't forget that I am Omega," she said it with a smile and was rewarded by a small one back from Liara.

Aria continued "At some point in the future you will repay my help through whatever mean's I decide is a fair exchange, do we have a deal?" Aria knew the young Asari would agree to terms that even the most inept of negotiators would kick back at, she only hoped it was because of the situation and her current state and not a permanent weakness, she was after all Benezia's daughter.

"Of course whatever I need to do, but why are you…" but before Liara could finish asking just why Aria was, well being so nice to her and helping her, the pirate queen stood up and moved back behind her desk saying as she went.

"Oh sometimes I am just capricious in my decisions Liara, it keeps everyone on their toes" she spoke dismissively but then more seriously "but I also told you the Collectors do not get to use my station for any of their dirty trading, they have been warned, and there is only one rule on Omega."

Liara didn't need to hear it and Aria didn't need to say it… nobody fucks with Aria.

"Go back to your ship and I will contact you directly on a secure and private channel when I have news and a plan," she put up a hand to silence whatever disagreement Liara was about to raise, "yes Liara we will work to my plan but your crew will be out in front, I will need to keep my… involvement in this secret." When Aria finished speaking she picked up a data pad and began working and Liara left the office without another word.

Alone in the room and staring at the closed door Aria's thoughts went to Liara's mother whom she had known well if only for a short time.

'_It's good to know she has fire," _Aria thought to herself, '_I see Benezia in her and maybe even perhaps a little… no, enough, don't even think it…_ _you need to be careful around Benezia's daughter, you can't let her get to you' _she chastised herself_ 'she can never know, no one must ever know.'_

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Back on the ship it wasn't long before, good as her word, Aria contacted Liara to tell her that the Blue Suns crew who were recovering Shepard's body were still searching. That meant they had a little more time to organise and Aria asked that Shiala and Garrus stop 'stumbling around in the dark' and that she, Aria, would tell Liara where to 'point' them.

Aria would make sure they found the same information that she was passing directly to Liara so no questions would be thought, let alone asked, as to how the young Asari archaeologist had become so adept that she was able to thwart the Shadow Broker himself.

Aria, despite herself, made another attempt to ask Liara to stay out of it completely and leave it to the her, but to no avail. Liara was adamant she would not only stop the Shadow Broker from getting hold of Shepard's body but would let him know he had made an enemy of her.

Hot headed was not a description that Aria had ever heard used about Doctor T'Soni before and Aria had kept fully informed of the young Asari's life, from a distance, and very, very, discretely.

So it was the next thirty six hours was spent with Liara relaying Aria's instruction's to Shiala and Garrus and hearing the information she already knew fed back to her when they returned from their investigations.

The call she had been waiting for finally came through, the Blue Suns were on their way back and would be docking in around eight hours.

The plan was a simple one. Liara and her team would get to the exchange location, which was to be a docking bay in the lowest depths of the station which offered the most privacy as they were practically unused, ahead of time and conceal themselves.

They would pick their moment and attack the Blue Suns before the Collectors turned up for their rendezvous, take Shepard and leave. Or, as Liara thought to herself as the plan was unveiled by Aria, 'we go in we get what we went for we kill anyone that gets in our way'. The thought made her smile and incredibly sad at the same time.

Aria would have some of her trusted people but also hired guns, who would have no idea who was paying or what the deal was about, more deeply hidden to provide support and cover if needed, but more importantly to take down the Collectors when they arrived.

What could go wrong...?

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Liara had just finished the briefing with her team and was about to give the order to drop the ship down to the lower levels, they were going hide it not too far from the rendezvous point for a very quick exit, when a call came in from her pilot.

"There is a Doctor Lawson who needs to see you very urgently waiting dockside, she would like to come aboard." Her Asari pilot awaited instructions.

Liara looked at Garrus and he said "she has to be here about Shepard might be good to know all the players in this before make our move," he finished.

"Agreed, Landise have her escorted here to my office please. Garrus please stay, Shiala you can start to get the team ready." Liara finished leaving no room for the objections that Shiala had been trying to make since the pilot had told them of their visitor.

Shiala looked angry but said nothing and left as she had been instructed.

They waited in silence each nursing their own thoughts until the door opened and a young human woman walked into the room, she was stunningly attractive, and when she spoke to Liara's ears it was with an Earth accent she recognised as being Antipodean.

"You are a hard woman to get in touch with Doctor T'Soni," she said and continuing as she sat down where Liara had indicated, "Time is short but by now you know that.

I am not going to beat around the bush, I know what you're trying to do and I want to help. We have been trying to find the Commander's body to ensure this didn't happen.

We would also have intercepted the Blue Suns if we had found out about it… but I can help now, well once you have recovered Shepard's body." She finished and waited for the inevitable questions.

"Who do you work for?" It was Garrus who asked, he had remained standing, in one of his typical poses leading against a wall with his arms crossed, he hadn't taken his eyes of the women and he didn't trust her one inch.

Instead of answering Garrus she spoke to Liara and she leaned forward as she did, "Please Doctor hear me out before you dismiss what I'm about to ask. I work for Cerberus but I have complete autonomy to work on my project and the work I do is about restoring life using a combination of nano tech and implants.

The length of time that the… subject has been brain dead is important but we are within time… we may be able to bring the Commander back." She paused searching the other woman's face and could almost see the battle between hope, disbelief and hatred against Cerberus playing itself out.

"Shepard would never want anything to do with Cerberus she hated them for what they do and what they are," again it was Garrus who spoke and he had pushed himself upright to enforce the point.

"Garrus is right… Shepard would never… do you really think there is a chance?" Liara looked Miranda Lawson in the eyes and she knew in that moment that if Liara T'Soni did manage to recover Shepard's body she would hand it over.

"Yes I do," Miranda wanted to have the discussion with Liara on her own but that wasn't going to happen here so she said, "look let's get Shepard back first, I am happy to join you when you face the Blue Suns I am a powerful biotic, I have a team with me but I am willing to turn off my comms and come alone.

Then we can talk after and you can decide what you want to do." Miranda waited knowing her chances of securing Shepard's body would go up if the Asari let her go with them.

Garrus made to speak but Liara cut him off, "That is acceptable, please deactivate your OT, I will have someone check if you have done so. Perhaps you would like to wait outside for me." And Liara called in the commando who had escorted Miranda from the dock.

"Doctor Lawson will be coming with us please keep her company until I join you."

When they were alone again Liara cut Garrus off, "I cannot talk about this now Garrus, the most important thing is getting Shepard back, which is all I have strength for."

He nodded and left her to her thoughts. Liara reflected for a moment on why she had allowed the Lawson woman to stay, of course the fantastical dream of getting Shepard back was part of it, but the woman had shown more respect to Shepard than any other stranger she had met since it happened.

But what she had said to Garrus was the truth; she only had the strength and the focus to fight this next and probably her last battle with and for Shepard, to get her back, to bring her home.

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The first thing that went wrong as they were in their ambush positions was the arrival of the Collector ship at the same time Tazzik arrived with around a platoon strength of the Shadow Broker's army.

The Blue Suns rumbled in very shortly after. Liara knew that other troops were hidden in the depths of the docking bay but had no idea if they would help or only clean up after. The agreement was for Liara to leave with Shepard so that Aria could deal with her priority, the Collectors.

Liara was also not a military tactician and faced with this new and very deadly combined force she had no idea what to do, bigger problem was she was trying to manage three people who were all convinced they knew exactly what to do and none of them could agree.

The Cerberus officer, the C-Sec officer and her mother's commando officer all trying to talk to her at once and bickering with each other; Liara felt like spacing all three of them and if they hadn't needed to be extremely quiet she would have screamed as much at them.

Really how did Shepard do this all the time, it was exhausting… and the feeling as if she had missed a step as her stomach did a strange drop, at the realisation that Shepard would never do this again, brought her back to the moment.

And then a voice in her ear over the secure comms came to her aid. It was Aria's voice, which had now become very familiar to her, that said "tell them to shut the fuck up before they screw up the whole thing," Liara did immediately and told her three tormenters to wait a moment while she thought.

"Good, now, this is what we're going to do," and Aria went on to tell Liara where to best deploy her people now the situation had changed and that they would attack on her, Aria's mark, and at the same time she would also send in her troops starting with snipers and biotics taking out the Collectors at a distance.

Once everything was in place Aria gave the word, Liara passed it on, and all hell broke loose falling on the heads of Collector, Blue Sun and Shadow Broker soldier alike.

Liara had told Shiala and Miranda to concentrate, as she would, on the Collectors. Aria had told her how difficult they had been to kill when she confronted them the last time they were on the station.

The fight went on for a long time, at least it felt that way to Liara, and they were still only half way through the enemy on the ground.

Her team had noticed immediately that there were others, behind them, who seemed to be attacking their enemy but it unnerved them for a moment until she shouted through comms that she knew they were there, it had been an added precaution she had taken.

She knew Garrus would be hurt that she hadn't confided in him and she would try to explain later but now she had to conserve her energy, she was tired and finding it hard to concentrate and nearly found herself in the firing line but twice already someone had thrown a barrier in front of her just in time, she was grateful but worried she was becoming more of a liability than a help.

But then something changed, everything changed and she found strength and fire and power from somewhere deep inside her. As they had fought their way closer and closer to the open landing area where the three ships were moored, she saw it, the bio container, Shepard's body.

And she saw that even during the battle the business haggling was going on between Tazzik and one of the Collectors but it looked as if they had reached agreement and the Collector was beginning to move the container towards it's shuttle.

"No, you will not take her" Liara's voice boomed across the large echoing space and she fired warp after warp at the Collector trying to move Shepard's body, Tazzik leapt back and into cover as the power of the warp fields almost caught him in their wash.

"Stop him," she shouted and her team all focussed their attention on the unlucky Collector, he was torn apart by a combination of warp, reave and singularity.

The combination had proved to be so successful they worked as a team against the remaining Collectors and by the time they had taken the rest of them down, the Shadow Broker troops were severely thinned out and they decided to make a run for their shuttle, the Blue Suns were down to two men. Tazzik was nowhere to be seen.

A shout from the other side of the docking bay, Anto one of Aria's faithful lieutenants was calling "all of them, kill all of them, no one gets to leave."

It was over and Liara walked slowly over to the container which was bio sealed and stood looking down at its blank metal front, there was no viewing window but she wasn't sure she wanted to see.

She was joined by Garrus and Miranda. And once again Liara pulled herself together to deal with what was in front of her. Even though every part of her mind was begging for the release of detaching from this awful empty reality and immersing herself back into the memory space that had been her only comfort since this nightmare began.

"I would like to suggest that you come with me to my laboratory, it's on a Cerberus station, and I can explain what we will try to do. And we can discuss how you feel about leaving the Commander with us, with me." Miranda said in an even, matter of fact tone.

"I want Garrus to come with us," Liara said, "that is not negotiable."

"Very well, shall I call my shuttle?" Miranda said trying to remain calm, the Illusive Man would be more than impressed he would be happy that she had repaid all the trust he had shown in her.

"Yes" and again she waved Garrus's obvious objections away.

She also had to do the same to Shiala but she too gave in and took charge of getting the team back to their ship to await Liara's instructions.

Anto came up to her and indicated he wanted a word away from the others and when they were a distance from Garrus and Miranda said "we'll clean up down here, Aria said to be very careful of Cerberus and it was a pleasure doing business with you, she will be in touch for payment." With that he turned and walked away.

She felt the stirring of something that at first she couldn't quite identify and then she caught it, disappointment, she was disappointed that Aria hadn't said goodbye herself.

She could understand, but, Liara still felt… she was feeling completely alone again, she realised she had felt less alone while she had been working with Aria… but that was not quite it…

Her thoughts were interrupted with the arrival of the Cerberus shuttle and as some of its crew came across to move the container on board Liara took up position once again as close to Shepard as she could get and she would not leave her side again until a decision was made about what next.

Liara walked wearily, and showing the weight of grief she was carrying, onto the shuttle her mind in turmoil now struggling with the question that faced her, to which she already knew her answer.

High up in the docking bay on one of the service walkways Aria stood out of sight watching over Liara as she had done throughout the battle. She had been right to come herself, Liara was only just holding everything together and had not been fast enough a few times during the battle to get out of trouble.

Aria's biotics were extremely powerful and worked just as well in defence as they did attack. She was deeply worried about the young Asari but had done all she felt she could. _'Why the fuck did you get yourself killed Shepard and leave her on her own with all this,_' Aria thought to herself as she turned to go.

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The moment had come and Liara was standing over the container in the bright, clean, well equipped laboratory with Miranda and Garrus.

Miranda had run through some of the theory and research and the basics of what they would have to do, most of which Liara either didn't understand or didn't have the energy to really listen to. Although she made sure she looked as if she was listening.

But Doctor Lawson had also been honest about the chances which were slim to none and would depend on the type and amount of damage Shepard had been subjected to.

And if they didn't have any success she would contact Liara who had insisted on being able to have Shepard's remains back for burial.

Although Liara had not actually said yes yet there was little doubt she would. Garrus had been adamant that on both counts, firstly being given to Cerberus and secondly being the subject of medical experiments, would '_have Shepard turning in her grave is she was ever granted the decency of being given one'_.

And he was vehement in his conviction that he didn't believe for one moment that '_Lawson could raise the dead'_.

This had really hurt and upset Liara but she needed and wanted to hear it. Garrus was probably one of a very few people who really could predict fairly accurately how Shepard would feel or what she was likely to do in most usual situations.

"I need to see her," Liara said quietly into the silence that had settled between them, arguments all played out.

"Oh Liara are you sure, wouldn't you want to remember… would she…" Garrus was now back in protection mode, he knew he had lost the argument but he knew exactly why and he really didn't blame Liara. No he blamed Cerberus and Lawson for bringing Liara an impossible hope to turn down.

"I think for the first time I may actually agree with Vakarian, we have no idea what state the…" but Liara cut her off speaking quietly.

"I need to see her, to say goodbye."

Miranda motioned to a couple of colleague who were obviously waiting until the visitors had left to come in and begin work on the Commander.

As the lid was swung back white mist drifted up as the stasis gasses dispersed into the room, revealing the outline of a black shape, a human shape, the hard suit badly damaged.

Liara noticed first that half a leg seemed to be missing and most of Shepard's left arm, as she drew her eyes up the body in front of her she could see burn marks, scoring and dents and huge areas where the armour and hard suit was missing completely.

The she looked at Shepard's face, her head still encased in her helmet although the faceplate had been ripped off. Liara reached down and touched the side of Shepard face, it was cold, freezing cold, and the damage although considerable did not make her love unrecognisable.

But Shepard's eyes, those green pools of passion that really did offer a window on her lovers' soul were blank and glassy, she was gone, and this was just a shell as everyone had told her a dead body was.

Shepard had joined the universal consciousness and it made Liara beyond angry she was furious that the woman she loved, who said loved her had given up her life for nothing, when she could easily have joined Liara an escaped.

This is where Shepards' sense of duty and honour had brought her and Liara hated her for it and loved her for it.

"Take me home Garrus," Liara said with an audible sigh and she turned away from the empty shell that was and would remain her soul mate, and walked towards an empty and painful journey that would help her find a way to cope with that loss.

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Miranda Lawson flashed into being on the QEC pad in front of the Illusive Man's chair, "Good evening Miranda, what news" he said as he lit up a fresh cigarette.

"Better than we hoped for. My predictions were correct, the anomalies on the scans we were forward from the Alliance medical records are nanites, Prothean nanites.

In time we will be able to learn if they were implanted every time she used a beacon or if it was the massive download from the AI on Ilos. But some of them changed function at the point of Shepard's brain death and created a stasis field not only around but throughout the brain."

"So providing you can restart the brain and rebuild her body there should be little or no brain damage." He asked now through a haze of smoke.

"That's the theory; of course I will need to find a way to turn the stasis field and therefore those nanites off. I have to completely rebuild the body including all internal organs and the nervous system. This will not be a quick." She hoped he truly understood the magnitude of what lay before them, and the cost.

"Take whatever time you need, and whatever it costs, you will have it." He watched the end of his cigarette as he flicked ash into a container on the arm of his chair, "oh and Miranda no more talk of a control chip or alterations to Shepard's mind of any kind.

I need her exactly the way she was, exactly. Not only is she a charismatic leader with a personality that will stop at nothing to achieve her objectives, but she is also a human hero and saved many human lives. She is also willing to kill any who threaten us.

The Collectors have also marked her out as an adversary so I need her to keep doing whatever it is she is doing to keep up their interest. I am sharing my thinking with you Miranda as you need to know how important this is to humanity and to me personally. Don't let me down." And with that he cut the connection.

Yes he needed Shepard exactly as she had been, she held a great fascination for the Collectors and he needed to know he could get to them, find a way through the Omega 4 relay, he was convinced they had technology that would put humanity out in front where they should be in the galaxy.

He was willing to sacrifice anything to make humanity great, even its greatest hero, he would rather not, particularly as it was going to be very expensive to bring her back… but everyone was expendable… for the greater good. It was such a pity so few could see what the greater good was, it was lucky for humanity that he could.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N Ok so stay with me on this, trust me this is a Shepard Liara romance, but sometimes love needs to struggle to make it stronger… apparently suffering is good for the soul, or this could just being going really dark… feedback on the severely left of cannon turns in this chapter would really be appreciated.

And apologies for the delay getting this one to you, as you can imagine it took a bit of plotting and I had to edit down quite severely. Next chapter will be with you double quick time.

Chapter 21

Nine months after recovering Shepard's body – T'Soni estate Thessia

Liara opened her eyes and looked around her bedroom. She had moved into her old suite of room's and had updated them, well Matriarch T'Joan had organised it all; including clearing Liara's flat on the Citadel and trying her best to make at least some of the rooms feel more like the young Asari's.

But Liara wasn't thinking about the room or the long shadow cast by her mother. Liara was feeling, once again, as if she had betrayed Shepard and everything they had together. Last night she had slept with Shiala, and not for the first time.

It had started a few weeks after she had walked away from Shepard in that cold, sterile laboratory, any real hope of a miracle gone. Shepard was dead, she wouldn't be coming back. Liara had gone into free fall, and was literally stuck at the moment she 'felt' Shepard leave her, the moment of death she had shared with her love.

Shiala had been her constant companion, helping with light melds to give Liara some peace and meditating together. Liara woke one night, as she often did, not being able to breath and Shiala had joined with her to try to calm the panic, and from nowhere a wave of need and desire took hold of Liara and the joining turned into sex.

Liara was clear that what happened between her and Shiala was just sex, and she was also aware of why she seemed to keep doing it. She actually felt the smallest part alive while in the join, rather than existing in the void of anything other than loss and grief that she was overwhelmed by the rest of the time.

And the feelings that came after, the sense of betrayal, disgust and anger at herself for being weak despite being negative gave some form of distorted sense of relief to the ever present sense of despair.

It was also nothing that connected her to Shepard; it was a pure Asari sexual join, Liara wasn't trying to recreate what she had, that could never be done and she was only 'sharing' and very specific part of herself.

Liara had made progress since those first terrible weeks, with the help of her local temple and the priestess's, but how she had started to put herself back together was causing huge concern to those who could see what was happening.

She was now essentially two versions of herself. The 'old' Liara was stuck in grief and loss and was making progress towards healing much more slowly than would be expected due to the psychological and spiritual damage done when Shepard died.

The 'new' Liara, the one that could function, the face the world dealt with was harder, focussed, not unfeeling but distant, colder, and to some who knew her mother, much more like Benezia.

This was the Liara that on occasion allowed her mother's devoted follower into her bed and this was the Liara that was aware that Shiala wanted much more than just sex.

As soon as Liara was able she turned all her attention and resources towards taking down the Shadow Broker. Not just for trying to give Shepard's body to the Collectors but she had also found out it was the Shadow Broker who gave the location of the Normandy to them. She was also trying to find out where the Broker got that information, whoever had betrayed her soul mate she would deal with personally, with her own hands.

Liara had set up as an information broker, using her mother's extensive contacts and influence, which passed to Liara as her heir and incorporated Shiala's network which gave her connections into the murkier world of mercs and disreputable corporations.

The main house was certainly big enough to accommodate the equipment needed and she had hired a small team of expert information, intelligence and tech experts and persuaded Doctor Kasumi Goto lead the team.

Liara hadn't completely forgotten the Reapers, she instructed that part of the team and her resources remained focussed on that threat, and particularly trying to identify anyone who may be a Reaper supporter or indoctrinated follower.

Aria had been right that making an enemy of the Shadow Broker came with consequences. Several attempts had been made to kill Liara and the only place she was truly safe was inside her estate which had re-established its commando training school and has heavily fortified and guarded by handpicked Asari, Turian (picked by Garrus) and Krogan (sent by Wrex) teams.

She rarely travelled, even on Thessia, and then only for official functions or private meetings which helped to cement her position in Asari society, essential to maintain her connections and influence.

Liara could only trade on her mother's name for so long; luckily her part in saving the council and also re-instating the good name of her mother had put her in high standing in her own right.

Her plan was simple enough, impossible, but very… Shepard. Find the Shadow Brokers base, attack it, kill him and kill anything that got in her way. It was Garrus that added they should also blow it up as a tribute to Shepard's love of 'blowing stuff up'.

While she was working on that she did her best to thwart any and all plans the Broker had, she was also in direct competition with him and although his network would always be unrivalled she was able to hurt his business and was gathering a steadily growing client list who dealt with her in preference to the Broker.

Aria also continued, occasionally, to provide help and sometimes advice. They had not spoken directly again but she received recorded transmissions on their secure comm link and Aria's information was always surprisingly relevant to whatever problem that Liara was currently working on.

While grateful and certainly a huge advantage for Liara, she still didn't understand why Aria had been or continued to be so kind and helpful to her, despite the pretence, as Liara now saw it, of it being a 'business' arrangement.

Sometimes in the darkest moments of the night the young, shy, insecure and socially awkward Liara would feel the ravage of jealousy as thoughts of just how close Shepard and Aria had been came unbidden into her mind, there seemed no other explanation as to why the queen of Omega would continue to be so helpful.

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As Shiala walked away from Liara's bedroom she thought about the previous night and wondered if there was any change. It had been as aggressive and violent as ever, but was there a slightly deeper connection?

She would not rush things, she had time, they had time. Shiala had played her hand well so far and she was exactly where she wanted to be; back in her position as Captain of the T'Soni commando's team and the school; more recently Liara's official escort for public occasions and access to her bed. Shiala was the right hand of Benezia's daughter, which meant her old mistress's legacy was all but assured. Shiala could see Liara growing more like her mother every day.

Even if this war against the Shadow Broker was ill advised and a legacy of her misplaced affection for Shepard it was training the young Asari and giving her focus, it would do for now, until Liara got the loss of her human out of her system.

And, with time, Shiala was confident affection would follow, she had after all initiated the sexual join at just the right moment and yet Liara was convinced it had been her own. Shiala's plan to be not only Liara's right hand but also her bondmate was only a matter of good planning and timing.

Shiala was a skilled and practised manipulator, she had learned from the best, but Liara was also vulnerable to anyone who could get inside her barriers, and Shiala had done that easily by betraying the Shadow Broker and bringing news of Shepard's body to the grieving young woman.

But Shiala knew she needed to remain careful there were still too many wary eyes and until she could get rid of the likes of Vakarian and Goto she would progress her plans slowly.

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Twelve months after recovering Shepard's body – Top secret Cerberus facility, Attican Traverse

"Thank you Wilson send the results through to my private office," Miranda Lawson was looking across at the bio bed inside the sterile glass pod housing the work in progress that was Commander Shepard, "let's call it a day. I want to run a full nervous system test in the morning first thing," she finished now looking at Doctor Wilson and the two other scientists in the laboratory.

Miranda left them and entered her private office. This was a very secure mini laboratory to which only Doctor Lawson had access and within which she was developing nanite tech specifically for Shepard based on the Prothean nanites that she now had access to.

She had set the lab up to keep even the Illusive Man's prying eyes out; with false feedback loop and non-networked systems for ultimate privacy. Miranda Lawson did believe in what Cerberus was doing, she believed that humanity needed to be strong and be able to hold their own against the other races, but she wasn't always convinced about the methods.

But she owed ''TIM' everything, he had given her protection from her father and was even now protecting her sister so that she could have a normal ordinary life out of the reach of the monster that 'created' both his daughters from his own genetic material.

Her personal loyalty was unwavering, but that didn't mean she couldn't retain some areas of her work, which was after all her life, wholly under her control. And the other project she was working on in secret absolutely had to remain out of the reach of the Illusive Man, at least for now.

She sat down at her console and opened her private and confidential log.

"We have completed the integration of the genetically modified and enhance nervous system. In body testing will begin tomorrow and if performance is as expected we will be able to re-introduce internal organs as the next step but fully integrating into the circulatory system will take at least eight weeks work.

Facial reconstruction has been completed; I have decided to use Shepard's own cloned eyes rather than a tech replacement. It is vital that on waking the Commander feel's as much her as possible and to that end I have also retained the facial scarring."

Miranda stood up and walked across to her un-networked system and checked the latest readout of results from 'experiment double X', and then resumed with her log entry.

"I am now in a position to move forward with the double x project… but… am I any better than my father if I do this," Miranda had lost the terse discipline of the scientist making her data fuelled progress reports, this was an altogether more 'confessional' tone.

"I took the material as a backup in case we lost Shepard… but was that really the only reason… and now… I have a unique opportunity to create life, as my father did, but not for the same reasons and certainly not for the same ends," Miranda pulled herself together and continued in her more usual clinical style.

"The genetic manipulation has been a success and the integration of a small amount of my own genetic material providing biotic abilities is now complete. The only decision remaining is do I move to the next stage and if so tank bred or implanted."

Miranda sat deep in thought before finally turning off the log. _'I will never have a child of my own,'_ she thought, 'it_ would always carry to much of my father's genetic material… but this… opportunity… and it would be safer, no lab to protect and hide.'_ Her thoughts drifted on even as she walked back into the main lab now empty and quiet except for the hum of machines.

"Good evening Shepard," she only ever 'spoke' to Shepard when they were alone, "I have a decision to make and I can only image what your answer would be." Miranda stood looking into the now more recognisable, despite the bruising and red glow from still exposed cybernetics, face of the Commander.

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Twenty months after recover of Shepard's body – T'Soni estate, Thessia

"What the hell happened," Garrus was rushing out from the house as two shuttles landed on the front lawn, "I knew it was a mistake letting you go in person Liara." He had now reached the doorway of the first shuttle and moved from speaking through comms to speaking directly to Liara herself as she disembarked.

She had cuts on her face and her armour was covered in blood, she waved him off and walked swiftly into the house and headed straight for the information hub. The now depleted squad of commando's that had gone with her were also disembarking, it looked to Garrus's eyes that they had lost eight of the twenty with three being stretchered of the shuttles.

Then it struck him, no Shiala, he turned and hurried after Liara. He caught up with her as she was frantically trying to direct her intelligence team to search for any indication as to where her attackers had headed after they left the scene of the fight.

"Liara we have been searching since you called in from the location and we will continue to search for them but you need to get that armour off and checked over… please Liara," it was Kasumi who was speaking in soft calming tones and who gently began to lead the wild eyed Asari toward the door and the waiting Matriarch T'Joan.

Once Liara was safely on her way for medical attention Garrus asked for as much information as Kasumi had on what now appeared to be a well-executed and deadly ambush.

"The contact was real enough and I'm convinced the Shadow Broker didn't have the location of the meeting until the last minute… we were betrayed by Vasir but that will be impossible to prove to the satisfaction of the Council."

"But where's Shiala? She wasn't on the shuttles and how the hell did Liara get into any kind of danger." Garrus continued, "I knew it was a mistake all too convenient, location of the Shadow Broker my ass, and having to meet in person, even if it was on Thessia."

Garrus felt both angry and guilty for being talked out of going with Liara who wanted to make sure the estate would be properly protected if this was a ruse to split their forces and so insisted he stayed behind.

"From the comms traffic I've managed to work out roughly what happened," Kasumi said and led him across to one of the consoles. As she played back vid cam footage from a variety of sources including Shiala's own and she talked him through the highlights.

"It seems as soon as Liara and the team arrived at the rendezvous an explosion took out the building and almost immediately the Shadow Brokers men arrived.

Liara insisted on going inside to try to find the contact so they fought their way in still thinking Vasir was helping. By the time they reached the contact Shiala realised it was actually a trap, but she fought off Vasir for the data got it to Liara and ordered the bulk of the team to get her to safety while she stayed with a handful of her team to protect the escape.

We were able to keep connection up until they were overrun and from suit readouts all the other commando's in Shiala's squad were killed but she was taken alive."

They both continued to study the now repeating vid feed from the attack and realised just how hard Liara would be taking this loss. And despite Garrus's feelings about Shiala's personal relationship with Liara all of which were negative, he freely admitted Shiala's loyalty to the young Asari was absolute. She would be a huge loss and Garrus feared Liara would be in danger of becoming reckless in her efforts to get Shiala back.

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Twenty one months after the retrieval of Shepard's body - Top secret Cerberus facility, Attican Traverse

"We will be reviving her later today, I'm just having her moved to a room in the medical facility so that she wakes up in a hospital bed rather than in a laboratory," Miranda was talking to a tall, muscular woman with short blonde hair and steel grey eyes, who was standing next to her.

They were both looking into the lab through a one way mirror at the resting form of Commander Shepard now lying on an ordinary bed having been moved from the bio bed and sterile room over a week previously.

"I suggest I make my appearance after you've dealt with her anger when you tell her you work for Cerberus," Tasha Mikhailovich said with a smile, "you tell her you've employed me to help her transition she may be less suspicious that way."

"Are you telling me that she has no idea you were caught spying for Cerberus while you were still in the Alliance and have worked for us ever since?" Miranda had only met Agent Mikhailovich an hour ago and had the barest of briefings.

"The Illusive Man has very powerful supporters within the Alliance, a deal was made and the records were… altered," she smiled again, "it was always his intention that I should be rehabilitated back into the Alliance when certain people were no longer… around… but this seems like a much quicker route. I'll wait for you call."

Miranda watched as the woman walked away and felt completely torn between her loyalty to The Illusive Man and the work that Shepard had been brought back for and her loyalty, yes… it was loyalty she was feeling, for Shepard. '_Remember what's at stake Miranda, remember where the power is'_, she thought to herself and left to make the final arrangements to 'wake' Shepard up.

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Shepard was aware light on her closed eyelids and of feeling warm and comfortable, but very, very strange.

"Commander, my name is Doctor Miranda Lawson, you're safe and in a medical centre. You have had extensive surgery for you injuries so try to relax and once you are completely awake I will answer any questions you may have." Miranda was alone in the room with Shepard but aware that they were being recorded and that the Illusive Man may well even be watching the 'event' live.

The voice Shepard heard was a woman's, _'was that an Australian accent, easy on the ear whatever it was,'_ she thought, _'last thing Shepard what was the last….'_

"My ship, Liara… crew…" the memory, her last memories came flooding back to her and as she spoke she heard her voice gravelly and dry, she struggled to open her eyes and focus.

"Let yourself come around properly Commander and…, " but Shepard cut Miranda off now with her eyes open and trying hard to focus on the Doctors face.

"Liara is she ok… where is she," now struggling to sit up Shepard shot a hand out and clasped Miranda around the wrist forcing a gasp of pain from the Doctor.

"Steady Commander you're much stronger than you were before… before you… had your surgery." Miranda rubbed her wrist pleased at the strength and motor control the result of her work.

"Sorry… just need to know… stronger…" the last word was more of a question, but Shepard realised the futility of fighting against what must be the remnants of sedation. She relaxed back into the bed and began deep breathing to calm herself and took stock of her body trying to work out what felt off.

After around ten minutes, during which time the Doctor seemed to be checking read outs from the machines Shepard was hooked up to, she felt alert and awake and opened her eyes this time able to take in her surroundings and the woman in the room.

"Look the last thing I remember was being spaced and passing out from complete loss of oxygen, so were the readings fouled up or did I get grabbed by one of the escape pods?" Shepard said asking the question she had been running around in her head for the last five minutes, she had been toast, yet here she was, "and tell me right now about my crew and Doctor T'Soni please."

Shepard was pleased to find she was alive but her mood wouldn't last if she didn't get the answers she wanted. Every instinct in her mind and body was telling her this whole thing was wrong.

"I'll give you the short version and fill in the detail as you need me to," Miranda thought she might as well get it all out at once.

"There was no read out malfunction and you didn't get rescued, you died Commander, we tracked down your body and stopped it being handed over to the Collectors. I brought you here as my research was the only thing that was going to bring you back and allow anyone to rebuild you." Miranda could see the disbelief and confusion in those very green eyes, "that was around twenty one months ago, this is October 2185."

"Nearly two years… I'm having trouble getting my head around that… dead… but you can't bring someone back from the dead… that's… what the fuck have you done to me… what am I?" Shepard's voice although still rough was loud and anger was clear to see on her face and in her body language.

"Well in fact my project does theoretically have the ability to re-start the brain… but that doesn't matter because when I got you here I didn't need to… you did die but at the very point of death your brain was put into stasis and so when your body was rebuilt I was able to reverse the stasis field.

You are extensively rebuilt Commander, using your own genetic material, cybernetics and nanite technology, but who you are, is exactly the same… nothing about you has been changed… your brain, your mind was merely on pause." Miranda finished she was sure that once Shepard understood that fact she would be more comfortable with the situation and once Miranda explained just how enhanced her body was Shepard would be impressed and grateful.

"Liara? My crew?" Shepard was letting the information sink in … it wasn't sinking in very far, in fact she felt like a caged animal and the tension inside her head was mounting at an alarming rate.

"Doctor T'Soni survived the attack and is now living back on Thessia, with someone I think you know Shiala Galine, and is running the family estate. Your former team mates have all dispersed back to whatever they were doing before they joined your mission, they all survived.

I am sorry to tell you that your losses from the crew of the Normandy were considerable, twenty eight on the final count, and they included Ashley Williams. The Alliance declared you dead within twenty four hours of the attack. They gave you a medal and memorial service in Vancouver." Miranda had been told exactly what to say by The Illusive Man when it came to Liara T'Soni, he didn't want Shepard distracted from the mission by her former connections.

"Living with… as in together" Shepard had gone white and her voice was now quiet, "that can't be… how." Shepard turned looked at Miranda and their eyes met, the depth of pain and confusion was palpable, but there was nothing Miranda could do, she had her orders.

"I'm sorry Commander, for you it's been moments, minutes but for everyone else you died nearly two years ago. People move on.

Perhaps when you get to your quarters you want to look through the news vids and surveillance footage that I have pulled together covering the time you have been out of commission, that will allow you to see how your death was reported and there is coverage of your friends and family.

I have tried to replace as much as I could of your personal possessions and clothing to try to make you feel a little more at home here as well." Miranda was aware that the footage of Liara had been carefully edited, although showing her at the memorial service it jumped forward quickly showing her apparently happily getting on with her life Shiala on at her side at public functions on Thessia.

"So let me get this straight," Shepard said her voice now steady but anger evident in every syllable, "my partner is now happily living with someone else, everyone that ever knew and cared about me believes I'm dead, but what is it that you haven't told me so far to really make my day… this is not an Alliance facility, this is not a Council operation… so that only leaves one other organisation that would have the resources to pull this off and any reason to keep me out of the hands of the Collectors?" Shepard had been working through the angles, it had to be Cerberus. _'Not only in the arms of the enemy but re-fucking built by them_,' she thought bitterly.

"Yes Commander this project is funded by Cerberus and I work for them, but I have complete authority here… I understand your history with Cerberus has not been a good one… but," Shepard cut Miranda off.

"Not good Doctor Lawson is the biggest understatement I think I've ever heard.

So I can add Alliance traitor to the list of things that are shit to wake up to.

Given the fact that my life, as I knew it, is a compete train wreck, and I am going to spend the next shit knows how long trying to convince the Alliance and Council that I had nothing to do with this and just fucking woke up to this nightmare… if they ever believe me… can you tell me why in the name of all the fucked up shit in the galaxy you bothered to bring me back from the dead… unless of course you think I'm going to stay here and work with terrorists?" Shepard began getting out of bed, Miranda could think of absolutely nothing to say.

"I need some time on my own and the use a gym… I need to get a feel for this new body you've given me," Shepard, with a monumental effort of self will had made the switch in her head to professional, Alliance officer mode working hard not to let any of her feelings leak out. "And keep anyone wearing a Cerberus uniform out of my eye line or I'll be testing my new found strength sooner rather than later." Shepard looked directly into Miranda's eyes and then into the camera that was overlooking the room.

This was a hostile environment she was sure of it and until she understood what was going on she was going to play it very safe.

"Of course Commander and your questions will all be answered when you meet the Illusive Man later. In the meantime perhaps you'd like to follow me to your quarters."

'_So I get to be in the same room as Jack Harper do I, well this day could end better than I expected, I will kill that son of a bitch if it's the last thing I do'_, Shepard thought as she followed the Doctor out of the small hospital room to start her new life.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Shepard's accommodation was not so much a room but more akin to a hotel suite, which also included a small but well equipped gym.

Her workout had been partly about re-calibrating her control over her body but it was also a physical release to the storm of emotions running through her that she had to keep out of public sight and behind an internal barrier. She was not going to give whoever was watching, and Shepard would lay money on it being Harper, any ammunition they could use to manipulate her.

Before she hit the shower Shepard gave the rooms a quick look over and true to her word the Doctor had tried to make it feel as familiar as possible. Of course pretty much everything she owned had gone with the Normandy but her books her music and even some of the models she used to collect had been replaced.

Her civilian clothing was a good stab at her old wardrobe, but the 'work wear' she found was Cerberus issue complete with that hated insignia.

Through the noise of Shepard's confusion, anger and fear she recognised that this Doctor Lawson had really tried to make her transition into this strange new world as familiar as possible. _'She must have done a hell of a lot of research into me, probably knows more about me than I do,'_ Shepard mused as she stood under the shower, _'yeah well don't get to doughy eyed about it, probably a good psychological technique with a hostile participant.'_

With the shower running she took up a familiar pose, her arms outstretched against one of the walls, leaning forward her head down allowing the water to hit the back of her head and neck.

Knowing it was the only place she would be unobserved she allowed the wall inside her to melt and her emotions in. Her thoughts immediately turning to Liara, Shepard cried as she hadn't done since her father died. Noticing for the first time the connection to her soul mate was not there, and only a deep, dark, painful and empty space where there had previously been love and completeness.

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Sitting in front of the console in sweats and a hoodie, coffee in hand, Shepard prepared to see the effects of her death on the people she cared about.

Running through the news vids, official statements and news conferences they all showed pretty much what she expected. There was only a very brief sequence of the survivors of the Normandy arriving back at Arcturus station, obviously filmed secretly, but Liara was nowhere to be seen.

The memorial gave her the first real look at both Liara and her mother. Shepard could see the pain and grief etched deep into both women but they both remained dignified and her mother looked to be supporting Liara through the whole process.

The rush of love and pride for the two people Shepard loved the most in the galaxy almost raised tears, but she kept her emotions fully in check. There were more memorial services, her mother attending everyone, all the places that Shepard had at some time or another served.

Shepard noticed the reporting and discussion faded away over a period of a few months. And it was around six months after that the feeds started to report occasional sightings of 'Doctor Liara T'Soni attending one of Larisa's major society events of the year with her new escort Shiala Galine. Liara T'Soni, who was once linked to the dead war hero Commander Shepard, is now following in the footsteps of her mother the renowned Matriarch Benezia T'Soni.'

All the news casts and other vid feed, that Shepard thought Cerberus had probably collected themselves, showed a very different Liara to the one Shepard had left on the Normandy. And without doubt Shiara was close to Liara and it did look as if they were on intimate terms.

She turned the console off and a rage overtook her that she couldn't hold back, ripping the console off the desk and throwing it across the room allowing it to smash into the wall.

Shepard reached out for anything that was moveable and threw it or smashed it up, when she ran out of inanimate objects she began punching the wall and wasn't even aware that someone had entered the room and was attempting to pull her out of punch reach of the offending wall.

"Commander you'll damage your hand, please, it's ok… Shepard," Miranda said Shepard's name finally in a very commanding and loud tone and finally broke through to the woman in front of her.

Shepard snapped out of the blood rage she had fallen into and realised Doctor Lawson was in the room with her, she felt the pain in her hand, and felt the dam break in her again sinking to her knees, tears silently marking her failure of self-control.

Miranda kneeled down next to Shepard and pulled the woman towards her and held her feeling silent sobs, "there are no cameras in your quarters Shepard… you have to vent your feelings… this… I have no idea how this must feel… I can help you if you let me, if you can try to trust me."

Shepard stayed where she was until she had regained control and then eased herself away, the kindness this woman was showing her didn't feel false, but she was nowhere near trusting anyone who worked for Cerberus, yet.

"Thanks," Shepard said now sitting on the floor and getting a look at the woman sitting opposite her noticing for the first time she appeared to be heavily pregant, "really no cameras… Harper wouldn't let you get away with that," she saw the slight look of confusion on the Doctors face and added, "your Illusive Man, his name if Jack Harper."

"I told you Shepard this project and this part of the facility is under my authority and control. I won't deceive you, all the other areas do have cameras and the feed is sent through and I presume monitored by the Illusive Man; I report to him, and of course I do work for Cerberus and support its aims.

But I have also been an admirer of you for some time, you're a hero Shepard, a bloody icon, and the best humanity has to offer so I would have worked with anyone to try to bring you back."

Miranda stopped dead she had had no intention of saying any of that and thought she sounded like a school girl with a crush, her cool, caustic, controlling exterior seemed to completely desert her whenever she got within close proximity to this woman and she didn't understand it.

"Well I think your pretty awesome for… re-starting my brain… look it's not your fault my life is fucked up… and I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier… bet anyone else in the galaxy you had given life back to would have thanked you first… you may not know me as well as you think you do," Shepard finished with a grin and stood up offering her undamaged hand to Miranda to help her up.

Shepard found herself staring directly into the eyes of another Doctor, they were so close for an instant she could feel the other woman's breath on her face. Shepard could see or was it sense something, she couldn't catch what it was but there was something about this woman.

"When are you due?" Shepard asked quietly feeling the other woman's belly against her.

"Anytime now," Miranda said a little breathlessly and had a sudden need to tell Shepard the truth.

Shepard stepped back and a blushing Miranda Lawson said "I think I should take a look at that hand Commander, come with me to my lab, and then the Illusive Man would like to meet with you."

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Shepard walked into the room expecting to see her quarry but it was empty and then she realised this was to be a meeting via QEC and her disappointment at not being able to actually get her hands on Harper took her back to a similar 'meeting' with Saren aboard the Normandy.

She stood on the comms platform and immediately the room around her changed and she was standing looking across a huge open space and through a full wall sized window filled with the boiling, broiling and brooding presence of a red dwarf sun.

And sitting on a chair, cigarette smoke streaming from his lips was Jack Harper. His blue eyes noticeable even in the darkness of the room.

"Commander Shepard it's truly good to see you back with us," Harper said in an even and friendly tone, "you no doubt have many questions."

Shepard didn't say anything for a few moments and finally said "I'm disappointed not to be seeing you in person… I was rather looking forward to tearing out the miserable excuse you must have for a heart." Her eyes were cold; she was completely in control, she finally had her enemy in sight and if she couldn't kill him now she'd learn as much as she could for later.

"I can understand you must feel that way Shepard, but the very nature of the organisation means that sometimes things are done in our name that perhaps we never sanction…" but Shepard cut him off.

"I'm disappointed, not even the balls to own what it is you do Jack… don't back pedal now... what is it 'don't judge us by our methods but by what we will achieve,' or some similar self-righteous crap you use to excuse every evil dirty deed you do.

Deliberately exposing people to Eezo to create biotic children, assassinating religious and political leaders until you get someone in control you can influence, experimenting on humans as well as non-humans, torturing and killing war hero's, undermining the work of the Alliance and killing good honest decent officers who get in your way… hey this is your link do you really want me to carry on… or shall we cut the crap and just find out what you want from me."

"Think what you want Shepard but we both want the same thing, for humanity and the Alliance to take its rightful place in the galaxy and for humanity to thrive and prosper… but let's not debate that," he cut across her and continued.

"There are a few things you should know and then you can decide whether you are going to take advantage of my offer. It was the Collectors who attacked the Normandy and killed your crew because they were trying to kill you. The Collectors are now attacking human colonies and taking entire populations back through the Omega 4 relay, for what purpose we do not know.

What I do know is that the Alliance and the Council are still publicly denying the existence of the Reaper threat and on that if nothing else Shepard we agree the Reapers are the greatest threat to humanity in the galaxy.

There is discord even inside the Alliance and Council and with your 'departure', and the lack of any further activity from the Reapers or their minions has increased the voices saying it really was just the Geth and Saren.

The voices that said, quietly and discreetly due to your hero's 'death', you were fooled or deliberately embellished the truth to give yourself a glorious mission grew until they drowned out others who pointed at evidence to the contrary.

You may not trust me, you may hate me and want me dead, but humanity needs you, the galaxy needs you to find out what the Collectors interest in humanity is and to stop them.

I have already started to create a short list of team members that will be useful for your mission, of course the final choice is yours.

I need you to work with me to find a way through the Omega 4 relay to destroy the Collector threat. A couple of days ago the human colony of Freedom's Progress was attacked by Collectors just like all the others, but this time we have first-hand information about what happened. A Quarian was in the settlement and although deeply disturbed by the incident recorded the Collector activity. I have sent you the report of his interrogation."

On the large virtual interface behind Harper vid streams began playing and although the images were fuzzy she could see 'Collectors' placing humans into what looked like stasis pods and taking them away, some sort of swarming birds, no they were flying insects were also present.

And then another image came rushing at her, from somewhere deep in her mind, so fast it should have shifted to infra-red… from the Beacon… the husks the Prothean's were fighting… looked exactly like Collectors… they were… she was convinced of it.

Harper had noticed the change in her attention and mood he checked his vid screen to see what had caught her attention. Shepard was determined not to share any information with him so relaxed back and decided to go off at a different angle.

"Where's the Quarian now?" she said looking back to Harper.

He actually looked confused for a split second but he recovered quickly and went back to unreadable. Something he had in common with her old boss.

"I believe he is now recovering..." she cut him off.

"I want him here by tomorrow morning and he had better be healthy." She continued, "Let's get some ground rules sorted out and these are my terms, they are not negotiable.

You keep any and all Cerberus employees out of my way, anyone I meet wearing one of your damned uniforms of spouting your philosophy I will treat as an enemy combatant.

I will not wear your insignia or have it worn by anyone working with me.

I'll look at your suggestions but I will choose my own team and anyone from Cerberus will have to pass my test and that will include not being a cheerleader for you.

Tomorrow lunchtime I am going to leave here in an un-tracked shuttle and I will spend two weeks thinking about your offer and getting my head straight, if I see anyone that even vaguely looks like one of your goons the deal is off.

And I decide when I reveal my resurrection if you start using me for your own ends I won't be coming back.

Are we in agreement?" she finished realising only then that she had absolutely no idea if she had any money to fund her personal mission.

"Agreed Commander, and as a good will gesture I will make an advance payment into an account for you… you will need to take care of your Quarian guest if nothing else" he had cut across her attempt to tell him to shove his money, which on reflection she was glad of, 'don't be too high and mighty Shepard this is the only game in town you know of right now,' she thought.

"Good then we're done," without waiting for a response she turned and walked out without even bothering to close the connection.

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Miranda had been called to see the Illusive Man straight after he had seen Shepard. She knew immediately his meeting had not gone well.

"Doctor Lawson our guest is a little more antagonistic than I would like, however I am sure she will take on the mission, particularly once she finds out the Alliance and the Council will not support any action against the Collectors right now.

It was a mistake that I didn't call a halt to our… interaction with her uncle.

But, I think we need to tie the Commander a little closer to our cause on a personal basis and so I need you to tell her that you are about to give birth to her genetically engineered child." He flicked ash from his cigarette and took another deep draw from it, the red glow from its end reflecting in his eyes.

Miranda was stunned; she thought she had managed to pass of her 'carefully chosen sperm donor' cover story completely. Miranda hadn't decided whether she would tell Shepard what she had done or that it had resulted in a child, and the last thing she wanted was for the Illusive Man to have this kind of hold over her.

She knew in that instant she had been a fool to think she could keep anything this big secret from him and she knew also that what she had done had been a monumental mistake.

"I… but how did you know… I haven't even decided if I want to tell her… and it may have the opposite effect that you're looking for," Miranda tried to calm herself and find an argument that would persuade him against using what was in fact Shepard's soon to be son as a bargaining chip.

"The timing was a little odd; it was bound to raise questions. It was your business however, I think I can understand, and you are a valuable asset to Cerberus therefore I give you a lot of autonomy and space to follow your own research the way you want to.

But you are still a Cerberus officer Miranda and you need to do all you can to keep this project on track, I understand the risk and Shepard may well be unforgiving to you but she will not abandon her child and I doubt she will steal her from her…. 'mother'."

He tilted his head on the side and took another draw on his cigarette and communicated very clearly his feelings as to whether Miranda was or would ever truly be a 'mother' to the child she was carrying.

"You know you may hate your father Miranda but you are much more like him than you want to admit." With a parting shot that was guaranteed to cut her to the bone he severed the connection and left Miranda in the dark.

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Shepard had not made up her mind one way or the other about working with Cerberus against the Collectors, but the chances went up considerably when she realised the Collectors had to be working for the Reapers.

She needed to know what her reception would be if she returned to the Alliance, she knew eventually everything would be squared away but how long would it take, and what resources would be at her disposal if Harper was right about the disarray the Council and Alliance were in around the Reaper threat.

Before she could begin to think about the best place to base herself while she was carrying out her own research the door buzzer sounded.

"Come in Doc" Shepard called out, it was a guess but she was pretty sure she saw Mirada heading towards a meeting with Harper and Shepard knew he would want to find out what she may be thinking.

"I was wondering if you would have dinner with me Shepard there is something of a personal nature I need to talk to you about." To Shepard's observant eye it looked as if the Doctor had been crying, she was definitely not her normal efficient and business like self.

"Yeah of course, I'm assuming it will be room service," Shepard smiled and invited Miranda to take a seat on one of the sofa's the room had to offer and Shepard sat on the other.

Shepard noticed that 'someone' had cleared up the mess she had made earlier but some damage was still evident including the lack of a control console.

"I took the liberty of ordering some food it should be here shortly," she had no idea of how to start the conversation or how to handle Shepard's reaction, she was a scientist, and this was completely outside her comfort zone.

"Tell me about yourself Doc, how'd you end up working for Harper and his terrorist network?" Shepard asked in a friendly tone.

"My father is a monster, and ego-maniac, Shepard; he carries out disgusting experiments to enhance human abilities and he is completely obsessed by his genetic destiny.

He used a modified copy of his own genome to genetically engineer his offspring, a specimen of human perfection… that was me… of course I wasn't the first, he disposed of the unworthy models… but nothing was ever good enough" Miranda tried to explain to Shepard what it was like growing up as an extension of someone like her father.

"In the end I knew I had to get away from him, but he has power and influence so I had to find somewhere that would protect me from him and that was the Illusive Man and Cerberus." She finished just as the food arrived.

They sat down to eat and Shepard talked about her childhood which was diametrically opposite to Miranda's, as she was talking her mother's face at the Vancouver memorial service came into her mind and Shepard felt a powerful need to speak to and see her mother both to relieve her grief and to ask for her counsel.

"So have you had any weird food cravings?" Shepard asked in an attempt to be normal in this most bizarre of situations, "one of my friends couldn't eat anything but salt beef and ice cream the last two weeks, and one of my cousins…" Miranda reached across the table and put a hand on Shepard's and said.

"I need to… confess… you need to understand," she faltered to a stop and withdrew her hand.

"Hey whatever this is about you shouldn't be getting upset, you know, with the… baby thing… and what else could you possibly tell me that could be worse than I'm already facing," but even as she said it Shepard realised she had just tempted the fate of any and all gods that she may have pissed off in her, already cut short once, lifetime.

Miranda drew a deep breath, sat up straight and looked Shepard straight in the eyes, "When we first examined your… you on arrival, I wasn't sure we could actually revive you. For some weeks it was unclear if the damage to your body was too extensive or if I could work out how to reverse the stasis protecting your brain.

I had to recover as much genetic material as I could, so that I could begin cloning cells, to build organs and… well… I can make a full technical report available to you so that you know how I put you back together," Miranda allowed herself a small smile, what she had achieved was incredible and nothing would take that away from her.

"I understand," Shepard said quietly giving Miranda her full attention and beginning to feel very uneasy about what was coming.

"Some of that genetic material I used to duplicate my father's work, the work that created me… if we hadn't been able to revive you, you would live on in your genetic… once I knew you were going to make it I shelved the project… but… later…"

Shepard's body language told Miranda that she didn't need to spell it out any further.

"So let me make sure I understand you… you stole my genetic material and created some kind of clone, that your about to give birth to?" Shepard's voice was quiet but deadly controlled and cold as were her eyes, she stood up and backed away from the table.

"No, not a clone… no an ordinary baby… just created from you, with only a small splice of my genome to provide the child with biotic abilities… this is no monster Shepard just a baby, created like many babies using science and…."

"Enough… just stop talking I need to think… what the fuck did you think you were doing… was this his idea… does he know? Do you have any idea what Cerberus does to children Miranda or are you completely blind to all the shit they pull?" Shepard's anger was palpable in the room and her voice was edged with fury.

"I… tried to hide it from him, and no he had nothing to do with this… this idea and its execution was just me, no one else… Shepard this wasn't… I didn't even know if I was going to tell you… but the Illusive Man suggested that I should be honest with you," she was now trying to do the impossible, be honest with Shepard and also not let her know that the Illusive Man was indeed willing to use a child in his plans.

"I have no fucking idea what I'm feeling right now… I can't get past the rage I feel at you for what you've done… I have no idea what to do about this… I need time to think and I need to do it away from here." Shepard stood silent for some minutes and then for the first time since she 'woke up' she squared her shoulders she had made her decision.

"You're leaving with me tomorrow, get in touch with Harper and tell him you are now part of my agreement with him, you come with me for at least part of the two weeks I'm taking and you better make sure you're untraceable.

We'll talk about where you need to be to give birth after we leave tomorrow. I need to be alone right now Doctor Lawson."

Miranda stood up and looked as if she was going to say something but the look on Shepard's face and in her eyes changed her mind.

Once Shepard was alone the thought she had been fighting to keep out of the conscious mind exploded like a grenade _'what the fuck will Liara think, how am I going to explain… shit Shepard she's with someone else why would she care.'_

But Shepard could not, would not let go of the hope that perhaps things were not as they seemed, she wasn't ready to believe that the love they had was that easily forgotten… but this was a huge complication.

Shepard felt another emotion joining the anger, fear and grief… panic… this was all too much, she needed to talk it through with someone she could trust… her head felt like it would explode.

A line for a twentieth century poet came to mind and she thought _'"Anything dead coming back to life hurts" she got that damn straight,' _and then a quote her father often used drifted into her thoughts_ '"either with this or on this" those Spartans were tough bastards but where does that leave me… no death but no shield either.'_

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Shepard didn't even bother trying to get some sleep; she had too much to think about, to come to terms with.

She spent a lot of time trying to meditate as she used to when she was still in training and as she and Liara had started to practice to help calm her nightmares.

The thought of actually having died was proving both hypnotic and world shattering. As a soldier, of course, she faced possible death every time she went on a mission. Had come very close to being killed many times, certainly knew fear, anyone who said they weren't scared before a battle was either stupid or lying.

But fear is a good companion, it has energy so long as you turn it into something else and don't let it own you. And the other thing about knowing you were walking into a near certain death situation was that, in reality, she always believed it wouldn't happen… not today… today may be a good day to die, and when she said it she believed it, but even more powerfully she believed that today would not be the day she would have to pay the price.

Her personal invincibility had now been proven false, she had died, some fucker had actually managed to kill her. That was something she was going to have to work hard on the next time she faced battle and had no idea if it would freeze her up, make her weak.

By the time morning finally came she was ready to make a run for anywhere, just to get out of this cursed place and take control back over her life.

A buzz on the door brought her back from her thoughts and when she answered she saw a Quarian, escorted by a couple of Cerberus men, although true to her agreement with Harper they were not wearing uniforms.

"Come in," she beckoned the young man in and shut the door in the faces of his guards, "my name is Commander Shepard and I am an Alliance officer you are now under my protection and your leaving with me in a little while."

"Please, they will come for me, the swarms… they find everyone… I'm sorry… thank you, I know your name… but your dead?" he had obviously been badly affected both by the attack and probably by his 'interrogation'.

"Yeah don't worry about the dead bit… do you need anything?" and as she was asking him she used the comms to contact Doctor Lawson.

"Yes Commander," Miranda voice was polite and professional revealing nothing of their conversation the previous night.

"I wonder if you would check out our Quarian guest and see what medical records you have for him, I think he may need some treatment."

"Certainly Commander would you like to bring him to my lab and I'll see what I can do before we leave."

'_We leave… so I got everything I asked for, Harper must want my help badly'_ she thought to herself.

"What's your name?" she asked as they left her quarters and headed for the lab.

"Veetor'Nara… I was on my pilgrimage… don't like crowds… I don't know what to do" his voice sounded week and he was clearly disturbed.

"Don't worry Veetor leave it to me, we'll get you sorted out, I have work for a Quarian, and we can talk that when you're feeling a little better," she smiled at him and hoped she could indeed help this Quarian as she still had a huge debt to pay.

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After they had stowed what little gear they were taking with them, and Veetor was put to bed on one of the bunks, Shepard and Miranda took their positions in the cockpit of the shuttle.

Shepard headed away from the landing dock and out into dark space.

"Have you made any arrangements for giving birth?" Shepard asked without looking at the Doctor.

"I was going to head to Earth but I realise that was probably not where you were heading for, perhaps Ilium it will have all the services and facilities I need."

"Good choice that was going to be my destination," Shepard relented a little and looked across at Miranda asked in a slightly softer tone, "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes Commander thank you." Miranda managed a small smile and Shepard returned it.

As Shepard headed the shuttle toward the relay she squared her shoulders and ran through the decisions she had made during her long night.

Shepard had her mission and she would not fail, whatever it took she would destroy the Collectors and whatever lay on the other end of the Omega 4 relay.

And she would stop them from taking any more human colonies if it was at all possible.

She would stand by her child regardless of how it was conceived and even if it hadn't been her child she was not going to let Harper anywhere near it.

She would get Liara back whatever it took, whatever had happened, she would fix it, Liara was her soul mate and she would not lose her, unless she heard Liara herself say it was over.

She repeated the same words, in her head, that had formed into a mantra through the night and was helping calm the panic and confusion,_ 'I'm the same Alliance officer, Council Spectre, the same fucking person I was before I got shot out of the sky and found myself spaced… this may be a major head fuck but I will get everything back on track… I'm coming for you Liara you better be ready.'_


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The journey to Illium would take around forty hours and Shepard decided she would use the time to find out as much as she could about what 'work' had been carried out on her body and just what difference it would make to her.

But she started with a question that had been on her mind since being brought around from her 'death'.

"So my body ended up on one of Alchera's moons, Uluhu?" Shepard asked Miranda as soon as they had jumped through the relay. Miranda nodded her agreement and Shepard continued "but my ship is somewhere on Alchera, so how did I land up on the moon, and probably more importantly why was there anything left of me at all?

I mean I took some damage yes, and I understand once my suit de-pressurised and I became exposed to open space the vacuum and cold would have preserved me pretty much unaltered, desiccated maybe," Shepard allowed herself a smile, this was a truly disturbing conversation if she allowed herself to actually think about it.

"But to end up pretty much intact and not flamed… and how did the Shadow Broker work out where I was when the Alliance didn't seem to be able to," '_or they didn't bother trying_', she thought bitterly.

"Once we heard that the Broker was looking for you and who his client was, Cerberus turned its attention to doing the same, to be fair we were getting to the same calculations but they had too big a head start.

It was all about the velocity you were travelling away from the Normandy; the blast that damaged your oxygen supply also put you on a path with the gravity well not of the planet but the moon because of the timing.

And the moon's very low atmosphere, combined with the effects of gravity assist and aerobraking gave the best possible outcome… but even with all those elements combining together you… well you were on a collision course with that moon and even if you hadn't lost your oxygen…" Miranda let the rest of the statement hang between them.

"So I finally have something to thank those bloody beacons for… maybe all the headaches they gave me were worth it," she smiled across at Miranda and noticed the woman relax a little, _'we will have the 'talk' about this baby thing but you need to remember she is still pregnant Shepard… with my kid… shit that's a real head fuck,_' she thought.

"Ok so now run me through how the rebuild will affect me, I know what you did, I read your report, fair amount of it over my head once you moved into talking about nanites and bots and whatever…" Shepard asked and they spent the following hours talking about how improved not just strength but also stamina she was, quicker to heal, more resistant to damage… but Miranda stressed time and again that she was not indestructible, that she needed to truly find the edge of what was possible and what wasn't.

It was clear that Doctor Lawson had developed a lot of the cybernetics, genetic modifications and certainly the nano technology specifically for Shepard during the early life of the 'project'.

Shepard began to understand that Miranda Lawson had put a huge amount of herself into this work and perhaps this had blurred the lines around the whole creating new life as her father had... but Shepard was nowhere near forgiving and forgetting, they still needed the conversation.

During the trip Shepard also had a chance to talk to Veetor and understood the young Quarian's pre-existing problems of nervousness and what seemed to her to be a form of agoraphobia, which must have been unbearable on the migrant fleet.

He did seem to have a talent for comms and also security systems; and he was much more comfortable with technology than people.

"I have an offer to make you Veetor, I can't guarantee I'll be able to keep you out of trouble or danger, but I can make sure you have your own space and you won't have to mix with the rest of whatever team and crew I put together. If you want to go back to the fleet I'll be happy to take you… or anywhere else." Shepard knew it was a long shot and he may not be any help at all but she had a hunch and she almost always followed her hunches.

"Would not want to let you down Commander, I may not be able… would like to stay with you and see," Shepard reckoned that was as good as she would get.

"Good that's settled, when we get to Illium I have a job for you to do, nothing dangerous but I need a 'middle man' to get some information for me." She smiled at him and he seemed to relax a little to, Shepard wondered if she was just surrounded by nervous people or if she really was that intimidating.

Time would tell, but Shepard really couldn't think what else would happen to the young vulnerable Quarian if she didn't at least try to look out for him.

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They finally go themselves to the hotel, which was in a quiet but upmarket part of Illium, it was very late. Shepard and Miranda had made sure they had 'bought' enough privacy and anonymity even before landing on Illium and that included the clinic that Miranda had booked into for the birth.

Veetor went to his room almost straight away leaving Shepard and Miranda and a silence full of expectation.

"Let's start with how Miranda… as I understand it to carry out the genetic manipulation needed to pull this off you needed stem cells, but my body was dead which means my cells were dead, not a great start for creating life," Shepard had done some reading up on the subject so she could ask Miranda the right questions.

"That's true Commander," Shepard held a hand up and said,

"I don't need you to use my rank Miranda you are about to… give birth to my child, Shepard will be fine."

Miranda's face showed the hint of a blush as she continued, "yes, of course, and you're right about the stem cells but they can be harvested from the brain and they were alive and healthy.

I understand you have questions about the process but the most important thing, I think, you need to understand is that this process is not uncommon but the success rates are dependent on the skill and experience of the person providing the procedure.

And more importantly, what my father's process ensured was that the life created was truly individual, not in any way or shape a clone or copy, it is much more like the process used by Asari reproduction.

Your son is an individual in his own right; the only difference is that he has only your own and your families DNA. Well and a very small slice of mine only to provide biotic abilities, I was more assured of success using that method rather than using genetic modification from scratch." She stopped, Miranda was desperate to make Shepard understand that whatever the rights and wrongs of actually creating this child, the only thing unusual about it was its conception.

As Miranda had been speaking a single word had resonated around the inside of Shepard's skull… son… for some reason she had assumed the child would be female… a son, her son… then she felt her anger rising and stood up to try to keep herself calm.

She walked over to the window and looked out across the sparkling towers and cityscape of Illium with their many lights twinkling against the dark night sky, she watched sky cars fly past, and then shifted her vision to watch a single raindrop on the window as it drifted down past her face.

"Why the hell did you do this Miranda, do you have any idea how fucked up this is going to make my life," Shepard said quietly still watching the raindrop on its journey. "I'm a soldier; I would never have chosen to have a child of my own," unbidden a thought crept into her head '_yeah I wanted to have my children if any with Liara, fat chance of that given all that's happened_,'

"Com… Shepard you would never have known if it hadn't been for the Illusive Man forcing my hand, well you wouldn't have known right now…" Shepard turned to face Miranda and cut her off.

"That's worse Miranda… I have no idea whether I'll feel anything towards this baby but it seems it is my child… do you have any idea what my enemies would do to get their hands on it.. him... and what Cerberus and Harper would be interested in doing to it to find out if they could replicate whatever it is they think that makes me tick… anyone connected with me right now seems to be fair game for the Collectors and the Reapers and you brought a fucking child into this mess… I don't get it Miranda if you wanted a kid of your own you could have done this without me… why, for the love of the goddess why did you do it?"

There it was the question that had plagued Shepard and there had better be a good answer.

Miranda looked down at her hands and spoke quietly, "your recovery, even after I had repaired your body, was never certain. I had no idea what the stasis had done to your brain," she looked up and held Shepard's eyes "you could have been completely changed or a vegetable… right up until I woke you it may not have truly been you I brought back.

I suppose I wanted the galaxy to have a plan b, the one thing that you and… Jack Harper," Shepard noted Miranda had used his name for the first time, with difficulty but she used it, "are in complete agreement about is the Reaper threat and that humanity has to mobilise, and you are a galactic hero for humanity.

Someone has to unite us, get us working together and you're it… but if you didn't come back… well I thought that your son could be our last hope."

"A baby… seriously Miranda…" but it was Miranda's turn to cut Shepard off.

"No only when he was an adult, my plan was to have him grow up with a human family but on Thessia where he would be trained to use his biotics and become a skilled commando, and then Alliance training… well that was about as far as I had progressed my planning"

"So you were never going to play families?" Shepard asked, still slightly disbelieving of Miranda's motives

"No Shepard, do you really see me as mother material… I would have been his guardian and protector… the only reason I decided to carry the baby rather than tank bred, which I would honestly have preferred, was about protecting his identify and it was the safest place.

In the end I failed on both counts… I should have thought it through more thoroughly and engaged someone else to carry the child." Miranda shifted her position in the chair and Shepard was once again reminded just how pregnant the woman was.

"Are you ok?" Shepard asked, Miranda nodded and smiled so she continued, "well I need to know what happens after the child is born, what do you intend to do?"

"I don't know what you mean?" Miranda looked puzzled.

"Well now he doesn't have the weight of saving the galaxy on his very small shoulders, as that particular 'honour' will find its way back to me pretty quickly, and his destiny isn't quite so pre-determined," Shepard couldn't keep the edge of anger out of her voice, the arrogance of determining and manipulating an entire life to fit your own plans, no matter how noble the cause, she found unacceptable… just another form of slavery, "what happens to him now you don't need your plan b."

Miranda understood the implications of what Shepard had said and seemed once again to be wrong footed and embarrassed, "well I can continue with the arrangements already in place or I could look for a permanent adoption so that he leads an ordinary life, but I rather thought that you would…" she trailed off realising that she had no idea what Shepard would want to do, that had always been the problem.

"I need to know everything about this family you've set up and I'm assuming they have no idea whose child it is?" Miranda shook her head and Shepard continued, "good, but Harper probably already knows about the arrangements, so we continue as if this will be the plan.

But Miranda you need to know two things… first is that family, blood and chosen, is part of my DNA and is as important to me as my duty. Second, Harper will never get anywhere near the child and if you give him any help or support in that direction I will hunt you down and kill you." Shepard's voice was calm and business like but Miranda knew she was deadly serious.

"You really have not concerns about that Shepard, I am not so naïve that I don't know about the worst excesses of the work of Cerberus, I am not a mindless sycophant, I am not proud of needing the protection that the… Illusive Man and Cerberus give me, but there is something other than my personal safety that I have had to consider.

But I will never trade one innocent for another, on that you will just have to trust me," and with that Miranda stood up and began walking towards her room, "forgive me Shepard but I have a difficult day ahead of me tomorrow I need to sleep, goodnight."

Shepard watched her go and wondered what that parting comment had been about, '_no doubt if she wants to tell you she will, but probably not feeling the love right now Shepard as you did just threaten to kill her… oh Garrus I miss you reminding me about my sunny disposition,"_ Shepard thought and turned her mind to what she had planned for the next day while her son was being born.

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The next morning they all went their separate ways; Miranda to the clinic, Veetor to make contact with an information broker and Shepard to find a way of contacting her mother without alerting anyone else.

Shepard caught a sky car to one of the main shopping and entertainment zones and it was impossible for her not to think of the time she and Liara had spent here, not long ago.

In her timeline she had last slept with, kissed, made love to Liara merely days ago, and yet in this strange time warped world she had woken up in Liara seemed to be with someone else, getting on with her life, and had been for nearly two years.

Every fibre of Shepard's being since the moment she regained consciousness had been screaming at her to run to Liara, she needed Liara to make things right, to make her whole again… but something, a small niggling voice said wait, '_I need to know what's going on with you Liara before I come crashing back into your life... I won't hurt you any more than I already have'_ she thought and not for the first time.

It felt good to be back in control of her life, her destiny, and walking through the crowds she began to feel more normal and less science experiment. She spent some time picking up light armour to wear immediately and ordering a heavy set and Alliance surplus work wear for delivery to the hotel, whatever happened she was not wearing Harpers tags.

Shepard's next purchase completed her return to normality placing an M-6 Carnifex on her hip and an M96 Mattock on her back. They would do for now, but she would make upgrading her personal arsenal a priority once she got back to work proper.

She kept her baseball cap pulled low over her eyes and all contact to a minimum, then grabbed a sky car and headed for a much shadier part of Illium.

On the journey to Illium Shepard had tried to access her two secure accounts which contained large sums of credits, documentation that would get her in anywhere and with the highest security clearance and her personal database of all the research, data and information they had gathered in their search for the Reaper threat.

As a Spectre she was, would, be expected to work 'outside' any usual systems and so she needed to be self-reliant and her special ops training had instilled in her the need to have back up plans and redundancies so she had always had a highly secure and protected account providing both physical and virtual storage.

It would seem she learned well as no one had found either of these accounts and access to the resources within would allow her to start where she left off, only now her prime target where the Collectors.

But her priority at this moment was a Volus accountant who she had last seen being led away by his Alliance special ops handlers on Arcturus. They hadn't been exactly happy that Shepard had ripped one of their key assets out of his position and the Volus didn't look like he would shape up to be a big fan either.

Shepard had not bothered making an appointment, the offices were for show, Plunes didn't need any work, he was still the trusted and very busy accountant for major Blue Suns merc groups and a couple of state run Batarian Corporations; and no doubt still providing valuable information to the Alliance and to Aria as per Shepard's 'gift' to the pirate queen.

She walked into the outer office and was met by what could only be two security guards, a Batarian was sitting behind a small desk and a Turian was lounging on sofa.

"Get lost you come to the wrong place," the Batarian snarled as Shepard moved further into the room, she stopped with the Turian on her left and without looking knew he was getting to his feet.

She snapped our her left arm level and straight hitting the Turian hard in the throat, cracking what passed for his larynx and crushing his windpipe, before he had a chance to do more than begin to crumple she pivoted to her left and brought her right hand in a hard chop on the side of his neck just where the main artery to his brain passed over hard cartilage cutting off the blood supply completely.

Before he hit the floor she had leapt up onto the desk and kicked the Batarian up and under his chin knocking him out of the chair slamming him into the wall behind, following it up with a stamp to the head as she jumped down of the desk.

Satisfied neither would be in a position to interrupt her dealings with their boss she made her way into Vert Plunes office, at first she couldn't see him but then heard the familiar shoosh and click of the re-breather coming from under the large desk in front of the window.

"Is this any way to greet an old friend," she said in a cheery tone keeping a weather eye on where the Volus may appear, he could always pop up with a weapon, but that really wasn't his style.

"Commander… Shepard… but your… dead" and as he spoke he appeared behind his desk and sat back in his chair, "I, well, if it is you why are you here Earth clan…you have already made my life doubly difficult and dangerous... what more could you possibly want from me." His voice was petulant, whiney but also more than a little scared.

"Ah that's me the gift that just keeps giving," she pulled off her cap and walked to the desk sitting in a chair opposite the very nervous looking accountant. "So how you been keeping, I've had better times … there we're all caught up now to business.

I don't need anything from you, I need you to do something for me, and as a show of good faith I won't threaten to kill you slowly if you don't do it or if you screw it up… what I will say is that I may, just may, return the favour in the future… so long as it passes my personal ethics test."

She waited until he nodded his head slightly; he didn't survive this long in the game he was playing without both recognising and offer he couldn't refuse and one that may just be useful.

"Good, oh but deals off and I will hurt you very badly if you tell anyone about this or even dream in your sleep that I am in fact not dead, just so we're clear," she smiled a hard grin that didn't reach her eyes. He still worked for slavers and murderers even if the intel he was sharing was useful.

"It seems I am destined to be of assistance to you, Commander. I hope you remember how useful I am but to be very honest with you I sincerely wish we had never met."

"You may be surprised to learn I get that reaction a lot. This is what I need you to get done. You have to get a message to my mother that will get her here to Illium to meet with you about some financial stuff to do with me, I don't care make something up, but convincing and so that she comes immediately.

Get the message to her through your intelligence handlers and make sure it's her eyes only." Shepard finished, in truth she really didn't have any idea what bait would get her mother to Illium to talk to some strange double agent come accountant.

Plunes sat for a sometime obviously thinking hard and then said, "would you mother be interested in protecting your reputation Commander?" When Shepard gave a tentative nod he continued, "I may be able to spin a tale of financial misdealing's that seem to lead back to when you were a Spectre, misuse of Council funds… and I am such a big fan of yours I have found out who is trying to smear your name, do you think that would bring her?"

"Hell Plunes is this the kind of shit you have to dream up for your clients… that may just work… make sure she knows that unless something is done immediately a story will break on the extranet." Shepard could only hope the hook would be strong enough to get her mother to Illium.

"I am due to update my… colleagues this evening, where may I contact you to let you know if it has worked."

"Yeah I know it feels like we're best bud's right now but I'll contact you, no need for you to do house calls just yet." Shepard began to leave immediately but as she reached the door she turned and said, "remember what I said about keeping quiet about me, and that includes both the Alliance and Aria… oh and don't hire any more muscle till my piece of business with you if over." Without waiting for a reply she walked out through the door, pulled her cap back on, blended into the crowds on the street and headed back uptown.

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Shepard was sitting on a bench in one of the largest green spaces in the most exclusive resort area of the city, they had been here together, sat on the edge of the lake and dangled their feet in the water, not for long it was pretty cold, but she remembered the laughter, the joy, but only as a memory, there was no joy in her heart or her mind now.

'I don't know how to do this Liara, I need you… but how do I fix all this' she thought to herself feeling the weight of her confusion, anxiety and anger.

Her Omni-tool bleeped on the secure channel that only Miranda and Veetor had access to, it was Miranda, and she sounded tired when she spoke.

"Shepard I have had the surgery everything went without complication, perhaps you would like to visit?"

Would she like to visit, to meet her son, Shepard had no idea, well of course she wanted to, but would she feel any connection, or would her resentment at feeling like this had been forced on her impact on her relationship with the child.

'_Well you've never shied away from difficult shit before Shepard so let's get on with this,_' she said to herself while to Miranda she said "yes of course, I'll come straight away."

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Garrus could hear Liara through the door of her office, her voice cold, hard, commanding; she was the very essence of the Benezia that Garrus had met on Noveria.

"You do not want me as an enemy Lortal you will give me the information I have asked for or I will have your brought to me and I will personally reave and warp your nervous system, do you have any idea how painful and long a death I will make that for you if you stand in my way." Liara was standing in front of a screen her hands playing with a ball of blue biotic energy as if reinforcing her words.

"But L...Lady T'Soni… you have no idea… if the Broker found out I was… he will kill me and my… my family…" Liara cut across his words and pointed a finger at the terrified Salarian on the screen, a gesture that brought Shepard to Garrus's mind.

"If the Broker finds out it will be because of your incompetence I am guaranteeing your painful death if you do not hack into the Broker's systems and find me that information," Liara's voice was powerful and a slight blue haze lingered around her body, "you have three days Lortel not a moment more." She closed the connection and walked back behind her desk.

"Liara I'm worried about you, this obsession about finding the Shadow Broker base… you know that Shiala is very likely dead already and…"

Garrus's words were cut off as Liara lashed out with her arm sending a biotic wave across the office strong enough to push him back a little and brushing everything from the surface of the desk as she shouted.

"No I will not lose someone else that I care about do not question me," but almost as she was saying the words a look of absolute shock and horror passed across her face and she slumped into the chair.

"Oh Garrus I am so sorry… what am I doing… I don't seem…" she looked at him and tears were in her eyes, he moved to kneel beside her and put his arms around her shoulders.

"I know Liara, I know… but I see less and less of you these days, even when we're alone, the split is growing wider… I'm so afraid one day there won't be any 'you' left," the sadness was clear in his voice. He was, indeed, the only one who Liara showed her other self to, and he could see that beautiful kind and strong woman being taken over by a shadow of her mother.

"It's the only way I know that I can carry on and I have to Garrus I have to," she looked him full in the eyes and he could see the pain and the fear, "if I stop then there is nothing left for me, I have to destroy the being that made it possible for… who was responsible for Shepard's…I miss her every moment Garrus, when will this stop…" and as she leaned into the Turian he felt her body shaking and heavy silent sobs accompanying her tears.

"I know Liara, I know, perhaps you will be able to grieve properly once you've done what you set out to… we'll get it done Liara, just let us all help you," Garrus held her and tried his best to comfort her but he had no faith in his own words.

Without the focus of hunting the Shadow Broker he had no idea how Liara would cope. Problem was the thing that was keeping her functioning and together, at least on the surface, was the very thing destroying who she truly was.

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The Illusive Man spoke to the woman on the other end of his comms channel through a haze of smoke and with his usual awe inspiring backdrop.

"You have to be very, very, careful Tasha, if Shepard even gets a hint that we were behind this we will lose her from our cause. But if she reunites with T'Soni our control over her will be weakened." He flicked ash and brought the cigarette to his lips once more.

"She won't give up trying to get T'Soni back, I may not have spent time with her for years but I heard how they were together on Arcturus. The only way is to either make T'Soni unable or unwilling to allow Shepard back in her life. This may accomplish both.

From my sources the Doctor is not stable and completely obsessed with hunting down the Shadow Broker, if we were to help her with that information… well he is a powerful target to go up against… our problems may be solved by the Broker particularly if we can tip him when she is likely to attack." Tasha Mikhailovich gave the Illusive Man a smile.

"Yes that is something we can work on, we don't have the information but it's always possible it could fall into our possession, but I need more of a guarantee.

Somehow you have to make T'Soni believe Shepard 'woke up' some time ago and has been pursuing other things… including a child with another woman… and Tasha our friend may be more than a little compromised so I need you to remind her just how difficult it would be for her to protect her sister without our help."

"I'll start straight away… perhaps some false vid footage that can be 'discovered' which may also give T'Soni a big enough shock to her system to send her over the edge… and as for Doctor Lawson you need have no fear on that front I can keep her in line."

"See that you do Tasha, don't disappoint me." And he severed the comm link.

Turning he looked at the boiling sun outside the station and wondered if it wouldn't be easier if everyone just did what he asked in the first place as they always ended up doing what he planned in the end… one way or another.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N For those amongst us who also enjoy some action and adventure fear not we will be mission bound very shortly but Shepard has certain arrangements to make this chapter. And yes the trials and tribulations of true love continue…

Chapter 24

The Clinic was in a very up market area of the City and, to Shepard's surprise, it was Salarian run. She had assumed that Miranda would hold all the same views as Harper, humanity first, best, only.

'_Yeah but Cerberus uses non human's when it suits their purposes and particularly when they are looking at disposable assets,'_ she thought as she walked up to the reception desk.

If the staff at the clinic thought anything about their arrangements were off or curious or downright suspicious no one showed the slightest interest. Miranda and Shepard had booked in false names, untraceable credits and a very private suite, to which Shepard was shown swiftly before she even finished telling the receptionist her 'name'.

Miranda was in a bed by a window, afternoon sunlight lying in shafts across white sheets. Next to the bed was a trolley supporting a transparent box and from where Shepard was standing she could see a very small still baby within.

She unclipped her weapons and removed her armour jacket and walked slowly over to the bed, Miranda's eyes were closed but opened as Shepard drew level to the baby's incubator.

"Hey, how you feeling," Shepard smiled down at Miranda and reached across to squeeze one of her exposed hands.

"Mmm, just a little sleepy from the anaesthetic, but I'll be up and around in a few hours," she smiled and began to sit up a little.

Shepard leaned in closer and helped her to sit up, their cheeks almost touched as she moved back and again she felt some kind of connection between them that was just out of her minds reach.

Looking down at the tiny baby Shepard's stomach gave a lurch. She had always enjoyed meeting and getting to hold babies in the past, she was fond of kids, so was this feeling any different.

She couldn't tell, but what she could feel was an almost overwhelming sense of responsibility and protectiveness to this small vulnerable bundle of life.

"You should pick him up Shepard," Miranda was smiling at her, "he is absolutely fine, strong and healthy."

Shepard said nothing but opened the side of the incubator, reached in and carefully picked up the baby, she held him with one hand supporting his head and upper body and her other hand under his well-padded bottom and lower back.

She brought him up to face her and he seemed to stretch in his sleep, little fists balling and uncurling.

"Hello mister," Shepard said quietly, studying the infant she was holding in her hands, "welcome to the universe, it's a hell of a ride, so you better shape up to meet it." She leaned forward and kissed the tiny forehead.

"You're going to be named for a very brave, honourable, kind and loving man, your grandfather John Shepard… probably gonna give you a couple of other names as well, history is important in this family so we kinda stick some in our naming ceremonies." Shepard caught herself smiling and realised she felt more than responsibility and worry, she felt connected to this small fragment of life.

Shepard realised that Miranda had been watching her and as she put the baby back in the incubator she turned to the other woman and said.

"Did you secure a nanny or is it nurse for the baby?" Shepard left her hand next to the baby's face and stroked it gently with one of her fingers.

"Yes I did she is one of the clinic team so comes with a lot of experience in confidential matters and high security rating. One of the reasons I chose this clinic is their reputation for dealing with… sensitive situations involving high profile people… and they are experts in any form of genetic birth defects or malfunctions."

"I thought you said all the scans you had on the baby were all clear?" Shepard asked concern edging her voice.

"Yes they were, but some tests just can't be done until the baby is born and I wanted to make sure we had the right expertise if we needed it. But as I said earlier he has had a complete all clear."

"So when can the two of you leave?" Shepard stood up straight and moved to the bottom of Miranda's bed.

"Well I could leave in a few hours, but I would like him to just stay overnight, just in case and I'll stay as well. I suggest we come back to the hotel first thing in the morning." Miranda was now looking much more like herself and began to get out of bed.

"Ok that's the plan then, keep in touch though and anything doesn't feel right don't bother calling just get the hell out and then call me to meet you." Shepard got a nod of the head from Miranda before she began putting on her armour jacket, picking up her weapons she gave one last look to the incubator, said goodbye to Miranda and left.

She would be spending the evening watching the unedited footage of what happened after the attack on the Normandy and the comprehensive dossier that Veetor was bringing back from the Information Broker that would tell Shepard what had happened to Liara since, including whatever was going on with Shiala.

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To say that Veetor was a quick learner denied his obvious talent and inherent ability. Shepard didn't know if Quarian physiology was in any way the same as human but the more she saw him work the more she was reminded of human savants.

He seemed to almost become one with the systems he was working within, almost a computational level of speed and understanding, for the first time Shepard could see how the Quarian's had created the Geth.

She had given him all her security access protocols and he had managed to hack into Arcturus and retrieve all the vid footage and reports relating to the Normandy 'incident', including de-brief interviews with crew and her team.

Shepard began with the recordings of the actual rescue and then right through the timeline including the de-briefings. The footage of Liara showed Shepard exactly how devastated and affected her lover had been and this was backed up by the medical reports from both Alliance and Asari sources.

The true extent of how much Liara had to be supported through the memorial ceremony was clearer in the now unedited footage as was the courage and strength of her crew, although Joker looked as if he was particularly struggling.

As Shepard watched the Alliance footage and then moved onto news vids and surveillance reports a picture unfolded around Liara's life after the Normandy; but something else crystallised for Shepard about the effect that her 'death' had had on her soul mate.

Losing Shepard had nearly destroyed Liara and it wasn't clear to her how much of true recovery the young Asari had made. As time moved forward the surveillance and news vids did indeed show Shiala as a close companion to Liara and a very occasional glimpse of apparent intimacy confirmed that there was something between them.

There were also bugged private conversations between Shiala and a close friend which left no doubt as to the relationship between her and Liara, even some talk of bonding.

Shepard also saw that Garrus was as much a fixture, apart from the social events, as Shiala was. Perhaps he should be her next conversation; Shepard could feel her self control slipping away and would have jumped a ship to Thessia that night if she didn't need to deal with matters relating to her mother and her son immediately.

Shepard also needed to do some considerable work on her anger management as whenever she saw an image of Shiala she felt murderous and wanted to smash something, anything… she wanted to tear Shiala apart with her bare hands.

What Shepard was studiously avoiding acknowledging was a deeply buried and not very noble feeling towards Liara that was boiling with anger at being betrayed by the woman she had given her heart and soul to… not more than a few months after she was out of the picture… but Shepard would not allow even herself to say a 'bad' word about the love of her life.

The pedestal that Shepard had firmly placed Liara on was holding for now, but somewhere in the back of Shepard's mind she knew there would be a reckoning, as like all pedestals it was only a matter of time before it sank into the sand upon which it was built.

'_So you went back to Thessia but after only a few weeks you decided to set up as an information broker, why darling, what's going on… and why the secrecy around a visit to Omega… and the security… I'm missing something,_' Shepard said to herself looking at vid footage of Liara attending some gala in the Thessian capital of Larisa.

Liara looked stunning in her long flowing evening dress, she was just as beautiful, but there was something very different, something about the look in her eyes, harder, cold even… '_I promise you Liara, whatever it takes I'll make this right, I'll fix this… fix what I did to you… even if it means you being with someone else.'_

Shepard couldn't bare that thought and a huge part of her rebelled against even thinking it, '_but if you truly love someone you have to be able to let them go right… if that is what's best… wasn't that how it worked sometimes',_ Shepard thought '_yeah but you set people free so they can come back that's how it's supposed to work, but only if it's meant Shepard…. only if it's meant to be,' _as she finished the thought she closed the vid feed and turned her attention to the rest of the report that Veetor had brought back from the Information Broker.

And there it was the answer to her question and the missing pieces of the puzzle and the information created a cold, hard fury to form and coalesce around a single being… and a new priority was born of the realisation that the Shadow Broker not only caused the death of her crew, the destruction of her ship, the grief to her soul mate, but that he had already tried to kill Liara several times and had a huge bounty out on her head.

Now here was something Shepard understood completely, this was clear cut, no questions… no second guessing… this fucker was going down and she was going to be the one to do it.

And now she understood what Liara was doing. Liara had started a war with the Shadow Broker as soon as she learned of his involvement with the recovery of her body, and then the destruction of the Normandy.

From the Information Broker's report Liara had proved to be a very skilful and dangerous Information Broker, who also engaged in direct action to wreck business or information deal's that would have maximum impact on the Shadow Broker.

Of course none of this would bring the Broker down and it seems Liara has made no secret of the fact that she was willing to pay anything for the location of the Broker so that she could kill him… a dangerous game to play and a dangerous enemy to choose.

Shepard would not for one moment deny how brave this was but she also knew it was reckless and could only end one way, unless Liara got a huge break, why the hell was Garrus, Shiala for that matter, letting her do this.

And how the hell was she not dead already, you really didn't survive a full bounty from the Shadow Broker, it rarely happened, there was no profit in it… but the resources and information at his disposal should have made it inevitable that at least one attempt would be successful.

Shepard read through the reports of the failed attempts and found small inconsistencies, nothing that would show unless you were looking for something and from a tactical perspective.

It was almost as if there was some kind of shadow protection around Liara that was a final defence, and the more she tried to work out how Liara had survived attempts the more she saw it.

The last report was of the most recent attack and when she read that Shiala had apparently been taken hostage by the Shadow Broker Shepard broke out into a cold sweat… she knew, or she believed she knew what Liara's reaction would be and it would be rash, foolhardy in the extreme and Liara would be ripe for a fatal ambush laid very carefully by the Shadow Broker.

Liara would not rest until she had freed Shiala, not only because of their connection but because of guilt. Shepard had to get to Thessia or to the Shadow Broker.

Shepard began pacing around the apartment, she had to finish her business here, she had to sort out whether to work with Harper of give herself up to the Alliance, whatever she decided she had to end the Collector threat and find out just how connected they were with the Reapers and she had to 'save' Liara from herself.

The weight of all that responsibility was dragging her down into a dark part of herself that was like a black hole of despair and exhaustion and failure. It was filled with all the lives she had failed to save, the lives she had been forced to take, the pain and suffering she had seen and often inflicted on others… it was a place of blood and death and destruction.

She pulled herself away from the edge of the abyss and called up a comms link to Plunes, action she needed to take action, he answered almost immediately.

"Ah Commander, yes I have had contact and your mother and she will be here by late tomorrow afternoon, she is somewhere in this area. I am to contact her when she lands at the port." Plunes sounded very pleased with himself and Shepard had to admit he had delivered exactly what she asked.

"Good, when she contacts you tell her to meet you at your office but I don't want you anywhere near there. I'll meet her myself." Shepard had a slightly different plan in mind but there was no need to share it with the accountant.

"Very well, can I assume I am then free to carry on about my business?" Plunes asked in a more tentative tone.

"Yes I won't be bothering you again… till the next time" Shepard smiled the last half of her sentence in a more amused tone than a threatening one, damn if she wasn't warming a little to the weasel.

"Well please take no offence Commander if I say I hope that our next meeting will not be for some considerable time, goodbye Commander… and… good luck." To Shepard's ears the 'good luck' sounded genuine; maybe they were growing on each other.

"Veetor are you busy, I have another job for you?" she called towards the young Quarian's room and he appeared within a few moments.

"What do you need Commander," he said as he walked into the room.

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Shepard didn't sleep again that night, a few naps on the sofa while she was waiting for information to come through from contacts, Veetor worked with her through the night, he had set up a small, portable but very effective VI assisted network in his room and a few times Shepard joined him to run through information of watch vid footage.

She hadn't slept on the shuttle journey here, so by her estimation her last good night's sleep was nearly two years ago, with Liara lying next to her, and Shepard was now feeling a little ragged around the edges.

Miranda arrived back at the apartment early in the morning and while the nurse was being settled into the last spare room, and the 'nursery' was being set up, Shepard took advantage of the break to sit in a chair looking out across the cityscape with her son in her arms.

Her mind was on the next couple of calls that she was expecting in when she felt the little body in the crook of her arm stir, looking down she saw clear signs of pressure building up in the small face that would soon be accompanied by wails and screams.

"So let's see how good a pair of lungs you have little guy," she smiled and her comment was almost cut off by a strong wail from the now open mouth.

"Is he due a feed," she shouted across the room, Shepard had done a fair amount of babysitting for friends and relatives and tended towards a functional approach to the smaller charges. They either needed food, changing or affection, worked every time in her experience.

As she watched the small, wrinkled face contorted in concentration as the baby sucked on its bottle Shepard felt just the edge of a feeling that she had only ever before found with Liara, a hint of peace, but as quickly as she felt it so evaporated.

"Shepard you have a call coming in from Thessia do you want to take it in Veetor's room?" it was Miranda speaking from just inside the Quarian's room.

"Yes," Shepard stood up and carefully passed the baby over the nurse with a smile of thanks, "I'll take the call on my own thanks" Shepard said as she walked into the room.

Once alone Shepard accepted the incoming call and when the connection was established a very surprised looking Asari matron scrutinised Shepard and said.

"Is this some kind of sick joke, sadly Commander Shepard is dead and when I find out what…" Shepard held up and a hand a said firmly but in a friendly tone.

"Vaninnth it is me and there is one way I can prove it, do you believe that Shepard would have kept her word about not telling a soul about the difficulties she helped you out with when you first met her, it was after she was made a Spectre?"

The Asari looked suspicious but answered, "no the Commander I knew, that we all knew, was a person of integrity."

"Then if I tell you that I dealt with a matter of blackmail to protect your reputation, that saved your career with the Council and status on Thessia… involving a very disreputable mercenary leader who you unfortunately got tangled up with in a web of sexual…." Vaninnth T'Joan cut across Shepard in a voice that conveyed a high level of embarrassment.

"Enough Commander, yes I… well as you know I was extremely grateful for your help… one mistake hundreds of years of service. But how this is possible what is going on Commander."

"First I believe congratulations are in order, your promotion from press secretary to Councillor Tevos's private secretary well done, and as for my return… well that will all become clear soon, it's a matter of science and luck.

But I have a huge favour to ask of you and also a request that you do not tell anyone that I am alive, I will be making that known but I have good reason to remain… incognito for a little while longer." Shepard waited for the answer this was taking a risk but she trusted T'Joan and she really had saved her from a very nasty little sting operation run by a very nasty specimen of criminal pond life.

"I will do anything I can to help you Commander and you have my word this will remain private between us," Vaninnth still looked a little shocked but Shepard was preparing herself to be confronted with that reaction later today when she met her mother.

"Your sister is Matriarch T'Joan who runs the T'Soni estate on Thessia?" Vaninnth nodded and Shepard continued, "I need to know if your sister would be willing to help me but I don't want Doctor T'Soni to be involved yet."

"My sister is devoted to Liara she would not do anything that would hurt her or be disloyal to her in any way," Vaninnth paused and then went on "perhaps it would be safer if you were to tell me what you needed to know or arrange and I could try to find out myself."

It was the offer that Shepard had wanted but felt was unreasonable to ask for "that would be really helpful, you're on Thessia now aren't you?"

"Yes Councillor Tevos is here for a series of meetings with the Matriarch's, I was planning on visiting my sister at some stage."

"If you could make that sooner rather than later that would help me, I need to know Doctor T'Soni's state of mind, whether she has any plans to conduct an attack on the Shadow Broker, if she has suddenly received information leading to his location, that kind of thing… and I need you to get a message to someone… Garrus Vakarian I need him to contact me on the secure channel I am sending you, but you must stress that he keeps this information to himself until he has spoken to me," Shepard keyed in the details of her OT secure channel into the console, "you can contact me on that line as well."

"Very well Commander, I will do my best, and I will make the visit at the latest within two cycles," Vaninnth gave Shepard a smile and added "I am very pleased that you are not… dead Commander, I believe we will be relying on you again as we once did." Vaninnth T'Joan gave Shepard an Asari parting blessing and Shepard returned it then closed the connection.

Her father had always said if you can help someone along the way always do it and she always tried to and not with any thought of repayment but living that way did seem to open doors and oil the wheels especially when she was in a tight spot.

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Veetor had hacked into the security footage at the port and linked it to their OT's. Both she and Miranda were at the port and had been for most of the day watching not for the arrival of her mother but for anyone else who may be turning up to interfere in their reunion.

Shepard was sure she could trust Plunes, but she would never bank her life on it, and there were plenty of other ears who could have heard the arrangements so she was not taking any chances.

She had Veetor monitoring the security cameras at the accountant's office and the streets around it. They were all set and her plan was to intercept her mother before she even left the port.

"Shepard I have eyes on a passenger coming through the diplomatic gates that looks very much like Captain Shepard," Miranda's voice came through her ear piece, "seems like a healthy distrust of stranger's runs in the family."

Shepard smiled to herself and began to make her way to intercept her mother from the gates at the furthest end of the passenger hall.

"I don't think she's alone… yes she is coming through with a man… no its Councillor Anderson," Miranda's voice again and this time it sounded as if she was hurrying to keep up with her targets.

"OK that's not a problem I trust Anderson, in fact he's a bonus… I see them, Miranda get to them now and get them to the room," as she spoke Shepard began to weave her way through the crowd, they had booked one of the small private waiting rooms to give them privacy.

The comm between then was open and she heard Miranda say "Captain Shepard, Councillor Anderson I know you are her to meet a certain Volus accountant I wonder if I may speak to you somewhere a little more private… I've booked a room just over here."

Shepard could just about here her mother's voice protesting a little and Anderson asking who the hell she was and what was going on but it sounded like they were going with Miranda.

When Shepard walked into the waiting room and pulled off her cap she was facing both her mother's and Anderson's backs who were both questioning Miranda as to what was going on.

"Mum it's me," Shepard said in as firm and controlled voice as she could, memories of her mother's grief fresh in her mind.

They both spun around on the spot and for a fraction of a second it felt as if they were all frozen in time and then her mother rushed at her and enfolded her in a huge bear hug. Then stepped back still holding onto her daughters shoulders and searched her face.

As they had previously agreed Miranda left the room and would meet them at the sky car.

"Is it really you Liddie… really…? I can't believe… but how long have you been back" her mother's voice was shaky and tears shone in her eyes.

"I think it's me… I worried I was some kind of clone or glorified AI but that was the woman that put me back together… I've seen the reports... could have watched the vid of the operations if I wanted nightmares… feels like me... still hate Cerberus… even if the bastards put me back together" Shepard glanced passed her mother to Anderson and saw he was smiling.

"Oh why have you still got those awful scars Liddie, Why did Doctor Lawson allow them to survive your reconstruction," but her mother was smiling.

Something clicked in Shepard's mind and she said "Hang on a minute… how long have I been back, you knew that was Doctor Lawson… you knew what was happening?"

Hannah Shepard looked at her daughter with concern and pulled her into another hug, "not for sure we didn't and it was only Admiral Hackett, David and me who saw the reports. We couldn't act on it either, we couldn't, can't compromise the source we have deep in Cerberus.

And we didn't know if it was some kind of misinformation or if it was a plan to put an imposter back into your life… but I hoped, and we only had confirmation that it had worked and they were going to revive you fully a month ago." Shepard relaxed into her mother's arms, this finally felt real, and she was back in her own life.

"I'm so sorry mum, for all the pain and grief, I saw the vids..." Hannah pulled back a little so she could look her daughter in the face.

"Don't you ever apologise for doing your duty and trying to save your crew Lydia, you will never have to apologise to me I am so proud of you," Shepard was pulled back into a final hug and then they parted.

"Shepard what can I say… your unstoppable" Anderson had come over to join them and slapped Shepard on the back smiling broadly, "but there is going to be a hell of a lot of paperwork to do when you eventually come back home," Shepard noticed the 'eventually' and guessed the implications of that tiny little word.

"Come on let's get to my hotel apartment I think I may have something to share with you that might actually be a surprise."

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Once Hannah Shepard had gotten over the shock of getting her daughter back from the dead she couldn't imagine anything else that would surprise her, but that was before she was confronted with a two day old baby, and also her grandson.

"How dare you steal DNA from my daughter, steal a child from my daughter, what kind of monster are you," Hannah Shepard was furious and she didn't pull any punches when she confronted Miranda in the Doctor's room.

Miranda did her best to explain as she had to Shepard but Hannah was having none of it.

"No Doctor Lawson I will not accept any excuse that you may have dreamt up to make this right in your head, you behaved appallingly, and the only reason your still standing and not being thrown in some deep brig of my own construction is that you brought my daughter back from the dead… but that doesn't give you a free pass with me."

Shepard knew better than to try to stop her mother from having her say, she had warned Miranda and also warned her that it would be over quicker if she just took it and didn't respond. Miranda seemed to have taken the advice as Shepard could only hear one voice from the bedroom.

They had explained the process and her mother seemed to accept the baby, even going so far as to say he did look very like Shepard had when she was born.

When her mother came back into the room a slightly nervous Shepard and Anderson were standing looking out the window hoping that the Captains fury would not somehow find them wanting in any of this, but thankfully she seemed to have run out of steam and now only wanted to sit and hold her grandchild and look at her newly returned daughter.

When all three of them were sitting down Shepard got straight to the point.

"Mum I need you to take the baby back to Earth and have him stay with gramma and pa until things get a bit clearer for me, do you think they would look after him, the nurse goes with him and can stay as long as they need her or until they make other arrangements?" it was the only plan Shepard had, because she felt that would be the safest place for him.

"Of course they will… you're not thinking of having him adopted are you Liddie?" Hannah had cried when Shepard told her she had named the baby for her father and seemed to have really taken the little mite to her heart already.

"No not at all, but I still have a fight on my hands, and I have to sort things out with Liara," Shepard couldn't hide the pain she felt whenever she thought of Liara and her mother could always read her like a book.

"Now don't you jump to any conclusions about these rumours of her with someone else, if I know one thing I know that she loves you, we nearly lost her when we lost you LV… anything she's has had to do to keep going is fine by me… so you give that girl a chance." Her mother's voice was soft mainly because the baby was asleep in her arms but Shepard had no doubt about the firmness of the sentiment and her mother's instruction.

"Yeah I know, I can't say it's not painful but I get it, I think, anyway I have to see her but she is all crazy shit on getting to the Shadow Broker and if I don't do something she may just get herself killed before I get a chance to… well you know… win her back or something." Shepard suddenly felt like a love sick teenager and a bit embarrassed in front of both her mother and Anderson and it was he who answered her.

"Yes we know she's been a target of his for some time now Shepard, I've tried to do what I can to help, and you know Garrus has stayed with her, Wrex sent trusted clan members as part of her security… but her luck will run out and there is no way she or you," Anderson said pointedly looking at Shepard, "will take the Broker down, you need to get her to change her course and you need to concentrate on the Collector threat."

"I'm sure once she knows you back you'll be able to get her to stop and then you have to get her to work with the Asari priestess's and doctors to heal the damage that breaking your bond caused when you died… I have been so worried about her but she won't listen to anyone apparently." Her mother's face showed real concern and her eyes showed Shepard that Liara had been accepted into her family as much as baby John had been.

"Well I'll try… but there's a bigger question I need answered… I don't want to work with Harper and Cerberus, I want to come back to the Alliance and take down the Collectors." Shepard was looking from one to the other and this time it was her mother who answered.

"Things aren't as straightforward within the Alliance or the Council right now, there are power struggles going on and although Admiral Hackett is still in charge there is an enormous amount of resistance to believing the Reapers are real.

And I'm afraid if you came back you would be months before you were reinstated, checked out, security de-briefings… and even after all that to get resources to chase an unknown enemy… well" Hannah's sadness and frustration showed in her voice and her body language.

"We're sorry to have to ask you this Shepard," Anderson spoke quietly "but we also need you to stay at Cerberus and find out as much as you can about Harper and his operations, you would be in a unique position, and it's true if you want to go after the Collectors… and don't get me wrong Admiral Hackett, your mother and I all feel that's what is needed, then you are going to have to use Cerberus resources." Shepard also sensed his sadness and frustration.

"If those are my orders sir, ma'am then consider it done," Shepard smiled at both of them but inside she felt a huge pang of loss, she wanted to go home, to the Alliance but if this is what her duty demanded she would not shirk it.

"It won't be for long" her mother smiled across at her "take them down, steal anything of any use from Cerberus then come straight home."

"Slightly amended version of the usual family motto… get in, get the job done, kill anyone that gets in the way," Shepard smiled at her mother she knew that they wouldn't ask her to, in effect, go rogue if there was any other way.

The following day saw Hannah Shepard, baby John and the nurse heading for Earth on a priority Alliance transport which would drop Councillor Anderson at the Citadel on the way and Miranda back to her lab and Cerberus.

It also saw a fully equipped Shepard, Veetor and a mixed squad of Asari commando's, Turian ex-military special forces and Krogan bounty hunters heading for Thessia in a long range shuttle for a rendezvous with Garrus and Vaninnth T'Joan and the start of operation's Shadow Broker and Liara.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N My apologies for the delay getting the next chapter out to you but I was ill with a nasty virus. But all fine now and hopefully will get another chapter out before the weekend.

Thank you for your continued support and comments

Chapter 25

The trip to Thessia took half a day and she spent the time speaking with each member of the squad she had put together. They had come highly recommended and all their security clearances had been triple checked which meant she didn't have any part time mercs or pirates to worry about.

A few of the Asari commando's Shepard had worked with before and one was even a survivor from the Normandy. Shepard had only revealed her identity once they had been hired and it hadn't seemed to put anyone off, on the contrary, Shepard's reputation had even calmed the unease about the secrecy of the 'job'.

She had hired a commercial long haul shuttle, more suited to carrying cargo, but it was all she could get hold of at short notice, it was fast but naked, it had no firepower. The plan was to see what ship Liara might have available or find something more suitable for hire on Thessia.

Shepard's private OT channel bleeped into life just as they were making their approach to the Larisa space port for her meeting with Vaninnth T'Joan.

"Commander," it was Vaninnth and she looked and sounded extremely worried, "I have just had a conversation with my sister and it appears Doctor T'Soni has just set off with her troops to confront the Shadow Broker, but she refused to tell anyone the destination until they were secure en-route with a comms blackout."

"Dammit, this is exactly what I was worried about," Shepard began to make her way to the cockpit to speak to her pilot, "I'm going to head for the T'Soni estate and find out what I can, I won't mention that you and I have been talking if that would make things difficult with your sister?" Shepard's mind was racing everywhere and particularly to scenario's where Liara was walking into a diverse range of ambush situations.

"Thank you for you discretion Commander but I just alerted Seninnth that you were on your way to Thessia she seemed pleased, I will let her know you're on your way to the estate."

Shepard had made it to the pilot's side and gave the order to head for the T'Soni estate and to put the shuttle down as close to the main house as possible. Shepard was cold with fear for her young, brave but reckless love.

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Before the shuttle had properly landed Shepard had jumped from the doorway and was heading at a jog across the lawn towards the house where an Asari Matriarch, who she assumed was Seninnth T'Joan, and Doctor Kasumi Goto were waiting.

"Matriarch, Kasumi what happened and why don't you know where she went," Shepard wasted no time as she got within speaking distance but noticed the look of shock on both their faces. _'I'm going to have to remember they all thought I was dead,'_ Shepard thought ruefully.

"Sorry Commander it's just a bit of a shock… well Liara had a private contact through her own secure channel that gave her the current location of the Shadow Broker, but given the recent security breaches she decided to have a comms blackout and so I, we have no idea where they were headed," Kasumi sounded anxious and continued, "I tried, Garrus tried and the Matriarch tried to persuade her that this was a bit to coincidental… but she said it was an absolutely trustworthy source."

"We have been trying to track the ship, I have asked for help from Councillor Tevos, and Doctor Goto has been trying to hack into Liara's secure feed in her office, I'm not sure what else we can do." The Matriarch was much harder to read, but Shepard did see worry and an edge of fear in her eyes.

"I have a tech expert who can help, Kasumi meet Veetor'Nara, Veetor go with Kasumi and get access to that message… anything that will tell us where she's headed."

"Matriarch as you can see my transport leaves a little to be desired do you have anything that would match what Liara is using, I presume she has a frigate of some description?"

"Yes Commander, under the circumstances I see no reason why you shouldn't use the second frigate, I will get it ready and get your squad set up on board, I will be coming with you." As she finished talking Matriarch T'Joan began walking towards Shepard's squad who had now disembarked the shuttle.

Shepard was left in no doubt that the Matriarch would be coming whatever Shepard's opinion may have been.

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It had been over three hours, Shepard had wandered around the house waiting… waiting… waiting. She was fit to explode, cold with fear for Liara's safety, frustrated she couldn't just get on with doing what she did best.

She found herself once again standing outside Liara's office looking in at Kasumi and Veetor who were trying to work their tech magic to find something… anything that would give them a clue as to where the trap had been set.

Looking to her right once again at what she knew was Liara's bedroom door, this time she walked towards it and went inside.

She couldn't really 'feel' Liara here, it was clearly her room, but not truly inhabited, Liara's apartment on the Citadel gave a much better insight into its resident's personality. This was sumptuous by comparison, elegant, with Liara's possessions and art scattered around but it didn't feel 'personal'.

Her thoughts came to an abrupt stop as she found herself standing at the bottom of a large an unmade bed; she saw the indent in the pillow from Liara's head.

Shepard was trying hard to keep an image from her mind but it crashed its way in with a force that almost physically rocked her. Liara and Shiala together, in that bed, having sex, making love, joining… whatever they named it Shepard saw something in her mind's eye that ripped her heart out.

She was surprised that she hadn't been thrown into her usual murderous rage when she thought about Shiala, but this was, a deep, deep sadness, it was hollow, painful and raw. Shepard moved to the side of the bed and sat on its edge, she picked up the indented pillow and brought it to her face and breathed in that familiar scent.

She buried her face in the pillow and let the feeling of despair and loss and hurt wash through her, deep sobs shook her body, but no tears, the feelings seemed to powerful even for tears.

Shepard had no idea how long she sat there but she became aware of someone in the room, it was Matriarch T'Joan who had walked in and stood facing Shepard's hunched form on the bed.

"You must not judge her until you know everything Commander," the Matriarch's voice was gentle but with an edge of steel.

"I know, I can't imagine… I've seen reports and vid footage and… I know what happened had a terrible impact on her… and with Asari relationships… well losing a partner… inevitable… in the end people move on… I'm trying to be glad that she found someone…" the Matriarch stepped forward and held up a hand to cut Shepard off and said.

"You much not think that what happened with Shiala is anything of consequence for Liara. And I am not sure that Liara was truly aware of how much she was being manipulated, Commander Liara was and I believe is still joined with you in love to the depth of a bondmate.

But she had to find a way to cope and she has constructed a version of herself using her mother as a template. This is truly worrying, Mr Vakarian and I are probably the only people who can see what this is doing to her, you must help her, and I believe you are the only one who can." Seninnth T'Joan was unable to hide her worry and fear from Shepard this time.

"We have to find her and keep her alive first," Shepard said her words weighing heavy on her heart.

"Commander," it was Kasumi's voice from the office, "Commander I've got something."

Shepard stood immediately, throwing the pillow back onto the bed, and followed the Matriarch out of the room.

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The frigate had run at the limits of its FTL drive for the entire trip and as soon as it emerged from the relay in the Osun system Shepard cranked up the speed again for the run to the Faryar system the planet of Alingon.

Shepard was once again in the debt of her friend Garrus Vakarian as without his short, coded message to Kasumi they would probably never have found the destination of what, Shepard was convinced, was the ambush. Somehow he had circumvented Liara's comms shut down, and he had sent the short burst directly to Kasumi's private channel.

"So what's the deal with the interference," Shepard asked her pilot and Kasumi as they stood in the cockpit watching the planet loom larger and larger as they approached.

"Only our environmental scanner is operational and it indicates high concentrations of active periclase in both the core and the crust of the planet which is interfering with scans and broadcasts, in effect Shepard there are no communications in or out, and scans are inoperative." Kasumi said as she checked more reports from the science console.

"So we go in completely blind, but they can't see us either?" Shepard asked and Kasumi nodded. Shepard opened a ship wide comm link.

"Ground teams make ready in the cargo bay, we are on approach and will hit groundside in T minus seven minutes," Shepard placed a hand on her pilots shoulder, she had worked with the young Asari before and trusted her skill and judgement. "Get us as close as possible Malania then keep the ship safe, move to another location if you need to but keep your eyes peeled for our return."

"Aye, aye Commander," Shepard smiled inwardly at the young Asari's use of Alliance language, picked up when she served on the Normandy; she was one of the survivors of the attack.

When she got to the cargo bay they were under a minute before touchdown and her squad of just over thirty were all '_locked and loaded for bear', _she thought smiling to herself asanother of her father's mashed up sayings came to mind.

"Commander, I need to tell you that I have called in some help from a friend and I will wait here for those troops to arrive so that we can coordinate a little better," Matriarch T'Joan said, "I alerted them before we left Thessia and their ETA should be within an hour."

"Ah, the shadow protection," Shepard said quietly almost to herself and when the Matriarch looked questioningly at her she continued, "I'll explain later, but this isn't the first time you've called in help is it Matriarch.

Who should I be looking out for so I don't confuse them with the Shadow Brokers men?" Shepard asked.

"They are all Asari commandos' their commander is Liselle Lidanya and suggest I link her through on our secure channel?" The Matriarch had given nothing away about whom the commando's belonged to but Shepard had no time to think about anything other than finding Liara right now.

"Yes we're using that as the mission channel, let's hope we won't need the help but if we do I'll take anything that's on offer," with that Shepard turned to face the doors and felt a bump as the frigate hit the ground, with a swoosh the door was open and she led her team towards the only obvious entrance to the facility they could see.

They had had no time to prepare in any real way for the mission, Shepard had intended to do some training with the squad, split them into teams and make sure they functioned as a cohesive unit, but she would have to rely on their experience and ability to adapt on the battlefield.

She had split them into three teams, and a mix of commandos, Turian Special Forces and Krogan hunters. Shepard would lead one, and she would have Kasumi with her, Evictus the highest ranking Turian ex-officer on the team would lead another with Senna V'Siere, a very experienced Asari commando Captain taking the last team.

When they discussed the mission plan on the flight over they realised it was very simple, find the fighting, they would have to try to hack into systems to get some working knowledge of the complex they were walking into, and be prepared to meet high resistance from well trained and experienced troops.

Shepard speculated and the other agreed, that the most likely plan for the ambush would allow only light resistance when Liara and her team 'forced' their way into the complex; a breadcrumb trail would lead them deep inside to where the Shadow Broker was 'waiting'.

Once beyond the point of no return and in a well-planned kill zone they would face a prepared and heavily defended position whilst the trap would snap closed behind them when the force of troops Liara's team would have passed without interference mobilised.

So the plan was… simple… find out where all the noise and fighting was as quickly as possible. But on the way pick up as much intel as possible and lay some ordinance to protect their escape route.

They would use stealth as far as they could to give them the element of surprise at least until they jumped into the fight.

They had no resistance on entering the complex but found a handful of what looked like dead Shadow Broker troops, enough to make it feel real, '_certainly real enough for these poor bastards sacrificed as window dressing_, Shepard thought coldly as they moved further inside.

"Evictus you check out the this section secure and hold, protect our extraction area, and make sure it's only friends who get past you" Shepard received a nod of agreement from Evictus, they needed all the firepower they could get but it would be pointless if they had no way to get out.

"Senna with me, Kasumi as soon as you see a likely comms or security console let me know and we'll wait while you hack into it, sure wish I knew what the layout of this place was."

They has moved from the entrance and began working their way up a long corridor which curved in a gently bend. It was carved out of the rock of the mountain the facility was set into giving it a tunnel like appearance although it was fully lit and with air units hanging from the ceiling.

Shepard led her team along one wall on one side of the corridor while Senna led hers on the other, it was Senna who raised a hand to indicate they should hold position and an instant later Shepard heard what had prompted her caution.

From somewhere around the bend ahead they could hear voices in conversation, two, sounded Turian, relaxed, stationary.

Shepard motioned to Senna to move up a couple of her commandoes who could take the two guards out using stealth but Shepard made it clear she wanted at least one of them alive.

Three minutes later they received the all clear from the two Asari's who had been sent to deal with the Guards and when Shepard got to the scene she saw both were alive but unconscious.

Shepard started slapping the nearest Guard around the face until he came around and although he was still groggy she got him standing up and stood toe to toe, her eyes hard, cold, and determined.

"You don't want to fuck with me soldier, this will go well for you if you answer my questions quick and honest… if not I will take the time to hurt you now despite my obvious need for speed." She could see in his eyes his attempts at working out if there was an angle and whether he could find a chance of surviving.

"Wake the other one up," she said over her shoulder, and one of the team got the other Turian on his feet. Shepard pulled her pistol out, took a step back and pointed it at the head of the first Turian.

"So which one of you is going to answer my questions and which one is going to get a face full of hot metal?" Shepard looked hard into the eyes of both men to ram home the point, but neither one said anything.

"Ok have it your way, cut their throats let's not risk giving away that we're here with too much noise," Shepard stepped back and two of the Turian's on her team stepped forward, she turned and began walking away when, as she expected, both her prisoners spoke almost in unison.

"Alright… but the Broker will kill us if he finds out we helped", "What do you want to know".

"Draw me a map of the complex, show me where the ambush is, how many troops and where they are deployed, and where the Broker will be." Shepard waited while they gave her and Senna as they answered the questions.

The complex had two entrances, there was another that mirrored this one coming in from the left, they both lead into a large working area giving access to offices, living accommodation and a central comms room which is where the Guards said visitors went to speak to the Shadow Broker.

The trap had closed on Liara's team as soon as they reached the main area, with Shadow Broker troops taking cover in the rooms leading off the main area leaving little protection or cover for those caught in the ambush.

"What about those two," Senna asked as they prepared to move out.

"Knock them out with a heavy sedative we can't spare anyone to babysit them," Shepard said, she had never had any intention of killing them but sometimes the fear of instant death was the only thing that loosened a stubborn tongue.

Shepard and Senna formulated a plan as they moved, now with more certainty towards the fire fight; Shepard would punch a hole through the outer ring and link up with Liara's team and Senna would take up position behind the ambush line and try to keep the escape route open.

They were now approaching the edge of the fighting and directly in front of them were a line of Shadow Broker troops behind a makeshift barrier that had been pulled across the end of the corridor.

"This is the position you need to hold Senna, this will be out route out, take them out quietly and continue to fire so that it looks as if this position is still intact," Shepard watched as a mix of commando and special forces troops moved forward and in one movement killed the ten troops firing from the barrier.

They seamlessly took up position on the barrier and started firing well over the heads of Liara's team.

"You three, sniper rifles and take out enemy troops, the rest keep firing over the top." Shepard heard Senna give out her instructions as she and her team moved passed through a gap in the barrier and began working their way towards the main fight.

The deception wouldn't last long but it would give Shepard's extraction team a chance to get as close as possible to Liara's position leaving as short a run as possible. From the barrier she could see they had barricaded themselves as best they could towards the far end of the area.

Then she saw Liara and another Asari at a door within the area they were holding it looked as if they were trying to get in the room and if the intel from her prisoners was accurate that would be the main comms room where the Shadow Broker would be found.

The level of noise was ear piercing, the sound reverberating off the rock walls that formed the huge cavern, even though Shepard had put her helmet back on. Senna was spotting Broker troops for Shepard and her team which had enabled them so far to take down two groups using grenades thrown into their positions.

Flashing of plasma weapons, shimmering of biotics, zipping and pinging of hot metal from a multitude of weapons all adding to the confusion and frenetic activity that was a full blown fire fight. The smell, the noise, the heat, stress, excitement, adrenaline… all so familiar to Shepard and she no longer had any fear that she would freeze in battle.

This was as familiar as breathing and she dropped into her familiar state of total concentration, every part of her, every atom in her body was now tuned to being just one thing… marine, with an objective, nothing would stop her except death itself, and she had even beaten that once.

They were now on the edge of the open space and the only thing between them and Liara's team was a fifty yard dash, but they needed to get contact otherwise they would be seen as the enemy and most likely get cut to pieces from both sides.

Kasumi had been trying all combinations without success and then the Shepard spotted Garrus who had taken a slightly elevated position and was picking off enemy troops with his trusted M-98 Widow.

Shepard took off her helmet and then fired a shot to get Garrus's attention and as she saw him taking up a line of sight on her, she prayed he took a proper look before squeezing the trigger.

She saw him stop look over his scope, back into the scope and then he lowered his rifle. Shepard made a hand gesture to her OT and again waited, watching Garrus work his own OT.

"Shepard… is that really you… what the fuck are you… never mind dumb question… what do you need me to do," Garrus's voice loud and clear into her comm link and she smiled.

"We have a path out, for the moment, and they don't know we're here yet, but we need to get across to you, so we can start blasting our way out together." Shepard said and continued, "Senna on my mark start to take out the Brokers troops," Shepard knew that as soon as her other team gave away their position they would become a target but there was nothing else for it, they needed the cover and the distraction.

"Garrus are your team ready to cover our arse?" Shepard said looking across to his position.

"On your mark Shepard."

She counted everyone in and on 'Go' her team ran for the relative safety of the defensive position, which also meant into kill zone that was the ambush.

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Liara had known it was a risk, known in all certainty it was a trap when they met little resistance on the way in, but that rational part of her held no sway with the rage and pain that seemed to control all her decisions since Shiala had been captured.

As her team did their best to fortify their position she would still not give up the hope that Shiala and the Shadow Broker were here within her reach. She left Garrus to organise the defence while she forced her way into the room she had been told would hold all she sought.

She entered the room alone, they needed every gun they had to protect their position, and without giving the sound of the door locking behind her a second thought she moved swiftly towards the imposing figure rising out of a large console at the very end of the room.

A deep, synthesised voice greeted her as she drew closer to the console.

"Congratulations Doctor T'Soni for following my instructions so well. You have been a small problem but the game is over and you lose." Now that Liara was close she could see the 'figure' before her was merely a holographic interface.

"Where is Shiala what have you done with her?" Liara's voice was filled with rage and venom her body glowed blue with biotic energy.

"She is proving to be an amusing pet, it is not comfortable for her, but she tolerates pain very well Doctor and you can take full responsibility for her situation. You are going to die here but her pain and suffering will go on, well how long do you Asari live, please take that as my gift to you." The mechanical voice was unable to relay any sense of his feeling but Liara could hear his malice and the taunting through his words.

"I am not finished Broker I will find you and…." He cut her off and said.

"Oh I think not Doctor T'Soni, even if you troops can break out of my little trap you will die in this room, when I am finished with you I will set off the explosives I have planted, I will make absolutely sure you will be no further threat to me.

But perhaps there is time to send you on your way with some good news, perhaps it will make your passing easier to know that Commander Shepard is alive and has been for some time. Strange that she did not bother to thank you for saving her from the Collectors, perhaps she has been too busy with her family, perhaps knowing that you had found someone else she was able to do the same."

As he was speaking images flashed up on the screen behind him and all the rage and hatred and focus Liara had been feeling melted away as she saw Shepard walking along some street with a very attractive woman who was obviously pregnant.

Then more images of Shepard inside what looked like a hospital bedroom reaching over and holding the woman and then holding a baby.

"Lies these are lies, you have faked the images, this… no…" Liara felt a rush of nausea, pain, despair; she was no longer in control, her mind frozen.

"And why would I bother Doctor T'Soni, but it makes no difference, you will never know but you will take those images with you into death. You really should not have…." He continued speaking but Liara was no longer listening.

A deep survival instinct took control and she began to run back to the exit door, when she couldn't get it open she looked for cover moving towards one of the many work consoles that lined the walls, then realised she had no idea where explosive devices might be placed.

It all seemed to happen at once a flash of light, out of the corner of her eye she saw the door crashing off its hinges; her biotics threw up a barrier and then blackness.

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Shepard had enough time to see where Liara was standing before the explosion knocked her backwards and the wall of dust, smoke and vaporised rock blew out of the doorway.

The Krogan and Asari who had been standing next to her held their feet and continued as long as they could to throw a biotic barrier around the disappearing figure of Liara T'Soni. As quickly as she had been knocked down Shepard was once again on her feet, and with her two companions made their way into the room.

"Get her out of here", Shepard was already picking up chunks of rock and pieces of shattered equipment.

"Stand back Commander we can use our biotics it will be quicker and safer," the big Krogan battlemaster said as he reached her side.

Reluctantly Shepard moved back and as she did her OT flashed into life.

"Commander we are now taking heavy fire, one dead and three wounded," it was Senna and Shepard could hear just the edge of stress in her voice.

"Evictus move down to support Senna's squad at the barrier we will be evacuating our position shortly."

"Affirmative Commander," Evictus's voice came loud and clear over the comms.

Shepard focussed her attention on the battle still raging outside the room and ducked behind cover to find Garrus.

"As soon as we get Liara out, we make a run for the barrier, we'll assign our most powerful biotics to give us some protection and we take our chances." Shepard said to Garrus as they fired around the cover that was being continually eaten away by round after round fired from almost every direction in front and to the sides of them.

"Agreed, " Garrus responded, flinching as a piece of metal hit his barrier at eye level, he focussed his attention on where the shot had come from lined up the shot and waited a split second until his target popped out to take another shot. Garrus squeezed the trigger and his Widow did the rest blowing a huge hole in the head of the Turian in his sights.

"Commander two shuttles have landed to the side of the mountain, it looks like you have more company," Malania's anxious voice sounded in Shepard's suit comm.

"Copy that," Shepard said and then turned to Garrus "more Broker troops on the way, looks like they are going to come in through the other entrance, down that corridor." Shepard indicated the only other entrance into the heart of the complex.

"And just when I thought our day couldn't get any worse," Garrus said still lining up shots with his rifle.

"I need three powerful biotics to me now" Shepard called through her OT, the noise of the battle made it impossible to hear what anyone was saying from anything more than a couple of feet.

Within a minute she had been joined by two commandos and one battlemaster from her team and two commandos from Liara's team. Not wanting to weaken their position any more than she had to she picked the battlemaster and one commando from each team.

"Right, one of you will give us barrier protection while we fight our way to the entrance of that corridor, we'll work our way around this back wall, once we get there I need you to bring the ceiling or walls down to block it, any questions." Shepard got nods of understanding from her squad and she turned to Garrus.

"Whatever happens Garrus I need you to..." Garrus turned and smiled at her as he cut her off.

"Yes Shepard I will do everything in my power to get her out and keep her safe," Shepard returned the smile and gripped his shoulder briefly before snapping on her helmet and moving out her squad following close behind her.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

She heard a rasping, gurgling sound in her ears and absolute panic surged through her brain. Shepard worked her lungs to try to clear the fluid that was constricting her airway, flooding her throat and blocking the back of her nose.

The pain from whatever damage she had done to her chest was excruciating but the struggle for breath was paramount, and finally the viscous veil of what she assumed was blood gave way and air once again flowed, albeit thinly, into her burning lungs.

'_How long… out that time… must… unconscious for longer… shit… don't want… drown in my own blood… got to get out of here'_ Shepard's thoughts were disjointed.

"Get me… the… fuck… out of here..." Shepard said the words out loud but her voice was ragged, almost a whisper.

Shepard tried to move her right hand, tried to flex her fingers, something, was that some movement? Starting again she tried lifting her arm, feeling resistance, but she kept sending the message to move down organic and cybernetic pathways even though they felt burnt out.

She focussed all the attention she had left, after the monumental effort to keep breathing, on moving her damn arm.

Time had no relevance for Shepard in this tomb, this living hell, so she had no idea how long she had been trying when something seemed to give. Her arm jumped upwards as whatever had been pinning it down gave way, but with the movement can a searing, hot, flash of pain which pulsed across her shoulders and up into her neck.

Absolute exhaustion now flooded her system and she felt herself drifting once again away from the darkness, the pain, the confusion, despite her best efforts to fight it.

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Shepard was crouched in a doorway her team behind her, they had fought their way to within striking distance of the corridor down which more Shadow Broker troops would be streaming at any moment.

"On my mark I want you to focus all your energy on bringing that roof down, I know it means standing out from cover and we'll take heavy fire, but I'll provide what covering fire I can and Garrus will focus the team in this direction as well."

It had already cost them to get this far, Shepard's barriers had been overwhelmed twice by the ordinance directed at her, and had taken a hit that penetrated her hard suit. The Krogan had also taken some damage but, like Shepard, he was still fully operational.

On Shepard's mark they stepped out into the open as one, Shepard laying down covering fire from both the assault rifle in her right hand and the shotgun in her left. Her biotic squad knew exactly where to aim and in a coordinated and concerted effort they focussed all their energy on the roof just inside the corridor.

Shepard could hear the pings and hums and also feel the vibrations and jolts as time and time again she was hit by ordnance from the assembled troops on the barrier in the corridor. But to take their shots they had to expose themselves and she could see one after another dropping as sniper rifles fired from behind her.

With the barrier Senna's team held now reinforced by Evictus the firepower they were able to focus had increased creating some serious cross fire for Broker troops using the cover of offices and their doorways on both flanks of Garrus's stretched team.

With an almighty shuddering she could feel under her feet, and a wave of noise Shepard saw the roof of the corridor begin to break up, first dust, then small pieces of rock and then whole chunks of roof falling onto the Broker troops position who began to run back up the corridor away from the death raining down from above.

She looked at her squad and two members were down, the Krogan threw up a defensive barrier and as he picked up one of the commandos Shepard picked up the other and they both headed back to the limited safety of their defensive positions.

"Get these two some help, how are we for medi gel," Shepard asked of a young commando, tasked with corpsman duties, as she was taking off her helmet, "how are you Skark," she continued looking at the Krogan now crouching next to her and heaving heavy breaths.

"Don't worry about me Shepard… that was fun" he barked a laugh and slapped her on the shoulder, then moved to take up a position covering their right flank and immediately began returning fire and throwing biotic slams.

"Shepard you've been hit," it was Garrus who called across from his position, get some gel onto those wounds, don't want to have to carry the both of you out of here" he paused as he lined up a shot and pulled the trigger then continued with a twitch of his mandibles, "just wouldn't be dignified… and… you'd never live it down."

Shepard smiled and gave herself the once over. Plasma burns to her right side, open wound, probably with metal still inside, to her left chest. She could also feel a couple of creases where shots had grazed across her body but they were nothing.

She slapped some medigel on the open wound and assessed their situation. They had silenced a decent chunk of the Broker's troops by closing off that corridor, with the reinforcements on the barrier they held they were now holding their own and it was the Broker's troops who were being caught in cross fire.

But she had no illusions about their situation, those reinforcements would probably just try to get in through the only remaining entrance and unless they could finish of the troops here they would still have to make a dash for it, across open ground, under heavy enemy fire.

"Garrus get a team ready to get the wounded to Senna's position," Shepard called across and at the same time began to work her way back to the room where Liara was being rescued from the explosion that had buried her under a rock fall.

As she ducked back inside the room Shepard was just in time to see the remaining debris being removed from Liara's body.

"Liara," Shepard's voice was soft as she knelt down next to the obviously badly hurt Asari. Liara had a huge gash to her head, and what looked like a broken leg and arm on her left side. Most worrying was a small trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth.

Shepard knew she needed to get Liara out of here now, she needed a medbay, a doctor… none of which they had on their ship… but priority number one was getting her out.

"Garrus, we're leaving now, form everyone into two groups, delegate half the biotics to form barriers, share the wounded between the two groups, we move all together in two minutes." Shepard barked her orders at Garrus and then said to Senna and Evictus.

"I need you to give us maximum fire cover we're coming out now as two groups, those reinforcements will be at your backs anytime soon. As soon as we hit the barrier Senna you pull back to protect the retreating teams with the wounded, Evictus you hold the barrier until we are out of the building." Shepard received confirmation of her orders as she was lifting Liara's limp body in her arms.

Just as she drew near to the door Shepard felt Liara stir, she looked down into blue eyes that barely flickered open.

"Hey baby I got you, it's all gonna be ok now…" Shepard smiled down and Liara's hand came up and just reached the side of Shepard's face, lightly touching it and then dropping back.

"Oh Shepard…" Liara's voice barely audible, filled with emotion that almost broke Shepard's heart on the spot, "…am sorry…" a flash of pain crossed Liara's face, and it felt to Shepard as if it was both physical and emotional.

"Hey none of that, save your strength darlin, I love you Liara you stay with me now," Shepard saw Liara's eyes flicker and then close, her body falling limp again.

Shepard fought to keep the tears out of her eyes. She squared her shoulders and made herself drop back into combat mode as she called Skark over to her.

"I want you to take Doctor T'Soni, I want you to protect her with your barriers and I want you to protect her with your life if you have to… anything you want from me you can have, I will owe you a debt that I will never be able to repay but get her onto that frigate and off this planet." Shepard finished speaking as she transferred Liara's body over the Skark.

"You are friend to the Krogan people Shepard, you are kin to Urdnot Wrex, I am Urdnot clan, you have my life if you need it," the big Krogan smiled showing his sharp teeth and gave another bark of laughter.

Shepard felt a rush of warmth towards this big Krogan and her friend Wrex… _'I owe you big time Wrex and anything I can do to repay you I swear I will do_,' she thought as she returned Skark's smile and a nod of her head.

Her OT sparked up and she heard Matriarch T'Joan's voice through the static.

"Bad news Commander, we have another two shuttles inbound on this location from off planet and we can see another shuttle inbound this location coming around the mountain." Shepard heard anxiety in what she felt sure was the usually unruffled voice of the Matriarch.

"Yeah well it seems that's the only news I ever get, we're making a run for it, and Liara is badly hurt pull the frigate up as close as you can to the entrance, block the entrance if you can, keep me advised of numbers, Shepard out."

"Ready to move on your mark Shepard," Garrus was standing next to her but looking at Liara's limp body.

"I want you to go with the team taking Liara out, Garrus I want a wall of protection around her and don't stop till you get to the frigate. How many wounded do we have that need assistance?"

"Five, we have some walking wounded but they are still good to fight," Garrus turned and looked at Shepard "you need to lead the team and get Liara out, I'm not leaving you behind again, can you imagine the shit I would take from her if you died again." Garrus sounded deadly serious.

"Look I'm already asking troops to be a living, well some of them may end being a dying, shield around Liara… the least I can do is watch their six, this is not negotiable Garrus you and Skark get her out and onto that frigate… ready on my mark," Shepard spoke her last sentence into her OT comms.

"Go, Go, Go," Shepard yelled into her comms and to the troops around her, they all stood as one and formed into two groups. Barriers shimmered into life and a wall of ordinance issued from those tasked with protecting the teams.

Shepard once again used her Mattock and shotgun, attaching herself to the group protecting Liara, it was a relatively short run but everything seemed to slow down as she heard her barriers once again hum and ping, until her alarm sounded to warn her they were about to go down.

A Turian next to her had half his face blown off as Broker troops began to move from their cover and run towards their escaping prey. Shepard formed a line with six others and they focused their firepower on those troops who were getting dangerously close.

Forming a firewall the six were soon joined by five others and they began to move backwards but still concentrating their fire on the approaching enemy troops.

They needed to hold them off until both groups reached the relative safety of the barrier and its protection.

"Senna give me the all clear when the two groups have reached you," Shepard called through her suit comms, still firing and suddenly painfully aware that she hadn't replaced her helmet.

The line was being depleted even as it withdrew and those who went down were clearly beyond help as most of her teams barriers, both tech and biotic, had now been overwhelmed.

"Clear Commander, we have what's left of both groups this side of the barrier," Senna's voice came loud and clear through her comms and Shepard indicated to her team to speed up their withdrawal.

"Senna, get the wounded to the frigate, escort them out, now" Shepard managed before being hit full in the chest with a shotgun blast that knocked her off her feet. Dazed and winded Shepard picked up her Mattock and as she was about to get up a hand reached down and pulled her to her feet.

She nodded her thanks to the Turian and they both began again to move quickly backwards until they finally reached the safety of the barrier. Shepard could feel blood oozing under her shattered breast plate and her breathing was now tight and shallow.

"Sitrep Evictus" she called to the tall Turian who was concentrating his fire on the Broker troops who had chased Shepard and the remains of her squad into the corridor.

"We lost around a third across both groups and Senna's squad is down to half strength, my squad is down by two."

"How many biotics do we have here," Shepard called out to what was left of her rear guard team, she noted the three Asari and two Krogan.

"Right let's see if this trick works twice, concentrate your power on bringing that fucking roof down on their heads before we get swarmed… aim at the end of the corridor, we don't want to get caught under it," she smiled and nodded as the biotics flared and began bombarding the chosen target.

"Commander we have a problem, the frigate is still some distance from the entrance and we have a shuttle full of Broker troops heading straight for us," Senna's voice came over her suit comms and Shepard could hear the tell-tale sounds of battle begin to spark up in the background.

"Dig in Senna I'm heading your way," Shepard was watching the roof where her team were blasting but the rock in this area must have been more stable as they were making little inroad.

But the fear of another roof collapse had cause panic amongst their attackers and they were withdrawing.

"We need to get to the entrance now… everyone pull back… move out" Shepard called. And they began racing up the corridor taking advantage of the disarray in the Broker troops.

When they reached the entrance Shepard tasked Evictus and half his team to hold the corridor behind them. Joining Senna at the entrance she assessed the situation.

"There is around sixty of them Commander and we are expecting the other shuttle any moment, and there is still another coming from the other entrance." Senna looked at Shepard her question obvious.

"Yeah, how the fuck do we get out of this," Shepard smiled at Senna who seemed to relax a little, "well I'm all done with runs across open ground and through blistering enemy fire so we need another plan."

While Shepard was thinking they both watched as another shuttle landed just behind the first, Shepard noticed they looked different, but before she could finish the thought her OT comms sparked into life.

"Finally good news Commander our reinforcements have arrived, the second shuttle contains an Asari commando platoon," T'Joan's voice sounded relived and she continued, "Liselle's ship is also engaging the Shadow Broker vessel that is in orbit."

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With the arrival of a full platoon of Asari commando's the Broker's troops outside the complex were swiftly dealt with allowing Shepard to get her people onto the frigate. Shepard and her remaining able bodied team joined Liselle's platoon while they cleared out the remaining Broker troops inside the complex.

The other shuttle never materialised, changing course and heading back to the Broker ship, which in turn turned tail and jumped to FTL.

As soon as the ground was secure Shepard headed for the frigate with Liselle close on her heels. The frigate's medbay was little more than a first aid station and the wounded were overflowing into the corridor with some being cared for in the mess hall.

"How is she," Shepard asked Matriarch T'Joan and the medic attending Liara's wounds.

"She is seriously hurt Commander and needs the services of a properly equipped medical station and doctor's, most of the wounded need the same thing," T'Joan spoke looking Shepard and then shifted to look at Liselle, "I take it you have full facilities on your ship?"

"Yes I suggest we transfer all the wounded to my shuttle and run them up to the ship immediately," Liselle answered T'Joan but addressed her words to Shepard.

Shepard only hesitated a moment before saying, "agreed, but I'm coming with her, that is not negotiable." Shepard received a nod from Liselle who left to make the arrangements.

"You saved her Shepard for that you have my thanks, we would never have reached her in time," Matriarch T'Joan signed an Asari blessing of thanks and respect.

"Then you tell me who Liselle Lidanya is working for?" Shepard asked as she moved past the Matriarch to stand next to Liara's bed.

"I will not insult you by trying to deceive you but I am sworn not to reveal whose hand is moving behind Liara's protection," the Matriarch's tone was respectful but Shepard also heard the steely resolve not to answer any further questions on the subject.

"Answer me one thing, do you trust whoever is behind it, do you trust their motives?"

"Absolutely, now forgive me but I need to make arrangements for our return to Thessia. I will ensure we have the necessary medical help and equipment waiting for us on our return, I assume you wish to head back to the T'Soni estate Commander."

"Yes it's the safest place for her," and as the Matriarch left Shepard reached out and took one of Liara's hands in hers. For a moment Shepard thought she could feel a slight movement of Liara's fingers, her eyes searching her Asari's face for any signs of consciousness.

Shepard stepped back from the bed to make way for Liara's stretcher, and then followed it out to the waiting shuttle.

Shepard didn't leave Liara's bedside even as the Asari doctor worked on her. She knew she could have spent her time trying to find out who Liselle's boss was but Shepard couldn't bear to be parted from Liara. Shepard would find out one way or another, but for now protecting Liara was all that mattered.

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The shuttle that had brought Liara, Shepard and the rest of the wounded back to the T'Soni estate was readying to leave; its Captain was walking back across the lawn when Shepard called out to her.

"Captain Lidanya, Liselle..." Shepard caught her up as Liselle turned to look at Shepard and with a smile said.

"No doubt Commander you wish to know who I work for, but I will not tell you, just take care of Doctor T'Soni and try not to get killed this time," she smiled and there was something familiar in her tone and manner that Shepard couldn't quite place.

"Yeah I guessed that would be the case, but I just wanted to say thank you for getting us out of there, we were seriously screwed," Shepard smiled and offered a hand.

"Oh I think you were doing find without me, I'm sure you would have found a way, you certainly live up to your reputation, but I'm glad I could help," Liselle shook Shepard's hand and returned a smile that was both captivating and charming.

Shepard felt the Asari's sexual attraction and her personal power, if Shepard had not been completely in love with Liara she could imagine herself being very, very attracted to this woman.

Then the moment was broken as Liselle turned and jumped into the shuttle and Shepard headed back to the house at a fast pace, she tried to run but the pain in her chest reminded her she needed to see a medic herself.

Once she had satisfied herself that Liara was being treated and everything that was possible was also being done for the other wounded she allowed one of the medical team to treat her wounds.

Then Shepard, Garrus, Kasumi and Matriarch T'Joan met to look over the estates security and their troop losses.

"I'll leave the squad I recruited with you, transfer them over, that should help a little but you will need to replace and increase the numbers," Shepard said and continued, "unless we can remove Liara as a threat to the Shadow Broker."

Shepard looked around at the puzzled faces and so she continued.

"What if Liara died as a result of her wounds, that would be the best protection but would also mean the Shadow Broker might start to relax," comprehension now dawned on her companions and it was the Matriarch who spoke first.

"Her death would be very difficult to fake but a deep coma with little hope of recovery would be as good and much easier to manage," T'Joan looked around and was greeted by nods from everyone including Shepard.

"Can we trust everyone on the estate? The doctors and medics?" Shepard asked.

"I will keep only one doctor once the wounded have been treated as our own medics are fully capable of looking after everyone once there are stabilised. And the doctor I will keep is trustworthy; she was Matriarch Benezia's personal physician."

"And what about Liara, when she wakes up I'm not sure she will be willing to 'hide'," it was Garrus and he voiced the only problem with her plan that had already occurred to Shepard.

"You leave Liara to me," Shepard said with much more confidence than she actually felt.

They had a lot to talk about, a lot of water had passed under both their bridges that had to be dealt with, but Shepard was absolutely determined she would keep Liara safe whatever it took.

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It had been a couple of days since their return from the Shadow Brokers trap. Matriarch T'Joan had spoken to the Asari doctor, Matriarch My'rdden, who agreed completely to the plan.

All non-estate personnel had now left leaving only truly trusted and secure staff and troops. Kasumi and Veetor had started to 'leak' information about Liara's health in a way that would not arouse suspicion.

But Liara's health was causing concern; not her broken leg, arm and ribs, cuts and bruises which were all healing well; but the deep gash and attendant concussion had actually caused Liara to drop into a deep unconscious state that the doctor refused to call a coma, but looked exactly like one to Shepard.

"But she should have come around by now," Shepard was once again arguing with the doctor outside Liara's medbay room.

"Liara needs rest and all her other vital signs are good, there is nothing we can do but wait Commander," the doctor was obviously used to dealing with over anxious relatives but Shepard had personal experience of head trauma so she was less relaxed about it.

Shepard went back into the room and took up her place in the chair next to Liara's bed, then got back up and stood next to the bed looking down at her Asari, she reached out and stroked the soft warm cheek with her fingers.

Leaning in closer she kissed Liara on the forehead, sat down again in the chair and held one of Liara's hands in both of her own.

"Liara, I need you to wake up darling, I need you back, I know we have things to talk about… you may not… well… even if you don't feel the same way… I am here for you… please come back to me," Shepard lifted Liara's hand to her lips and kissed it and lapsed into silence.

She had spent most of the time since their return in this room, when they were on their own she talked to Liara, or just sat in silence willing the Asari to heal and wake up.

Shepard stood up once again and walked over to the window looking out across gardens to what looked like a wooded area and beyond that she knew was the ocean, she had noticed it both times she had headed in to land.

"I… thought it was a dream…Shepard it's truly you…" Shepard snapped around as she heard that familiar voice but it was soft, little more than a whisper.

"Liara… yes it's me… you were hurt, but your home now," Shepard took hold of one of Liara's hands and kissed her Asari again on the forehead, Liara reached out a hand to touch Shepard's face.

"So the Broker was telling the truth" Liara's eyes were filled with tears.

"How the hell did he… oh never mind… Liara I'm so sorry I left you," Shepard was kissing Liara's hand and tears were in her own eyes as she looked back her love.

"Why did you not let me know… I… even if you no longer wanted to be with me… and a child Shepard a new life with… was what I did so terrible that you would not tell me yourself.." Liara's voice still weak and quiet but still managed to convey pain and even an edge of anger.

"Wait how do you know about the baby, Liara I came as soon as I could, I just had to… Liara I was coming here to find you to tell you..." Shepard felt a flash of anger and bit it down but it still gave her next words an edge, "shit I've only been awake for less than a week, I got here as quick as I could."

Shepard immediately regretted her anger as she saw the pain on Liara's face and saw her tears flow down her cheeks.

"Only days… you have not been… not for a year… only days" Liara was sobbing now and Shepard leaned in to hold her and said softly.

"No Liara only days, why on earth would you think I could have been back a year and not come to find you… you need to rest baby, you shouldn't get upset… it's all ok we can sort it all out." Shepard kissed Liara's face and made to stand up again.

"No… it will not be all right Shepard, I have done something terrible, you will never forgive me, it will never be the same between us," and as she spoke Liara's sobs grew more intense.

"I know about Shiala and you… we can talk about this later when you're feeling stronger… if she… if you, aw hell Liara let's not do this right now." Shepard felt the situation running away from her, who the hell told Liara about the baby, and where the fuck did she get the idea Shepard had been 'awake' for an entire year.

'_This isn't exactly the warm and fuzzy reunion I was looking forward to'_ she thought not a little moodily. But the thought and the conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the doctor and Matriarch T'Joan.

"You need to rest Liara, I'm going to give you a light sedative just to calm you, and allow you to have a little sleep. Commander perhaps you would like to return later?" the doctor spoke but both she and Matriarch T'Joan were looking at her as if she had deliberately upset Liara.

But before she could leave her OT sparked into life and Kasumi's voice sounded loud and clear in the room as she said.

"Commander we have an urgent request from Miranda Lawson for you to contact her, she is at your hotel suite on Illium."

Shepard turned a looked at Liara whose face was frozen in a mask of absolute rage.

"Liara it's not what you think… I don't know what you've been told… but just let me explain." Shepard's voice was calm but as she spoke Liara's biotics flashed into life and with a wave of her hand she sent the contents of the table next to her bed flying into the wall.

"Perhaps you should take that call Commander," Matriarch T'Joan spoke what to Shepard sounded very much like an order.

And as she left the room she heard Liara arguing with the doctor and the Matriarch about the need for a sedative or even remaining in bed.

In the corridor outside the room Shepard leaned against the wall and drew a breath she had never seen Liara like that before and she began to worry about how much her Asari had needed to change in order to cope.

'_But she still cares enough to be jealous… that I can work with'_ Shepard thought and couldn't help allowing a small ray of hope that Liara did indeed still love her as she once had.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Shepard needed time to think and Miranda's urgent wasn't necessarily hers. Leaving the house Shepard walked towards the tree line with the intention of making her way down to the beach.

As she passed into the cool shade her OT sparked up again and this time she took it as a vid call rather than just voice, it was Kasumi.

"I'm sorry to bother you again Shep, but Ms Lawson has called again and said it is very urgent that she speak to you," Kasumi's voice was apologetic.

"Can you patch her through to my OT and I'll take the call now," Shepard waited for the transfer and Miranda's face flashed up in her holo interface.

"Commander I have just found out that the information we secured and passed on to Doctor T'Soni about the location of the Shadow Broker will lead her into a trap, the information came from the Broker himself, we have only just managed to trace it back to its source. You need to stop her from acting on the information." Miranda looked worried and Shepard could here concern and urgency in her voice.

"Nicely timed, she already acted on it… your telling me that you're Liara's trusted source? I don't get it why would Liara trust Cerberus," Shepard's voice was cold and challenging.

"Hasn't she told you? Perhaps I should leave…" Shepard cut across Miranda sharply.

"You better tell me everything you know or my little deal with your boss is off."

"Very well Commander, it was Doctor T'Soni who secured your body from the merc's working for the Shadow Broker. She gave your body to me, to Cerberus. We have from time to time been able to help her with information. The Shadow Broker is no friend to Cerberus if he is working with the Collectors." Miranda finished.

"Is that everything, because by my calculation I still have the best part of a week before I start work for your boss," Shepard's voice was calm and business like.

"I hope Doctor T'Soni is safe Shepard, I would not want any harm to come to her, not only because I know how you feel about her, I will see you on your return." The holo image faded and disappeared.

Shepard noted the use of the work 'I' and the emphasis that Miranda had used, perhaps she didn't want harm to come to Liara but someone else did and when Shepard found out who it was they would go joint top of her shit list alongside the Shadow Broker.

Shepard carried on walking, passed a small chalet and then down a slight slope onto a sandy beach. The ocean was a stunning blue, the kind of blue that reminded her of Liara's eyes and her heart caught in her chest.

What if she couldn't fix what was amiss between them, what if she couldn't get Liara back, it would be her turn to grieve the loss of her soul mate.

Shepard sensed rather than heard anyone behind her and she spun around quickly to see Liara making her way unsteadily down the slope onto the beach; Liara had a tech assist cast on her leg but a normal flexi cast on her wrist and forearm, Shepard moved quickly to her side and offered an arm for support.

"You did not need to come all the way out here to talk to your… your… the mother of your child," Liara's words were angry but Shepard could hear the struggle to remain in control of her emotions.

"Liara stop this now… if you got your information about me from the Broker ask yourself what his objective would be… and have I ever lied to you? Come on let's sit down and I'll tell you everything I know, please," Shepard was relieved when Liara nodded and they both sat down on the warm sand.

Shepard ran through everything she had experienced, been told and had done since 'waking up' in Miranda's lab. The reason why she couldn't head for Liara immediately, needing to get her son somewhere safe, and Shepard's concern about just crashing back into her Asari's life and what damage it might do.

"I have no idea how you feel about Shiala, and I won't lie to you Liara it hurts knowing you are with someone else but I'm doing my best to understand…" Liara put a finger to Shepard's lips to silence her.

"Shepard I am not 'with' Shiala as you put it, we can talk later about what it was, but I love you, I always have and I always will. But I am changed, I fear you will not love me once you know who I have become… and to lose you twice… I would not survive," Liara turned her head and stared out across the ocean.

They sat in silence for a moment the only sound the waves gently rushing onto the beach, the sun warming them both, Shepard felt the sand run through her fingers.

"We all change with time and the experiences we live through Liara, we evolve as people, but something remains constant, our essence, our core, our souls… we've touched souls Liara, you're a part of me as I believe I'm a part of you.

We've forever changed each other, become more than we were individually, I feel as if I've loved you all my life and I know I always will… if there is anything after death then there too I'll be trying to find you… I'll never leave you out of choice, and I promise that I'll always come back to you, one way or another."

Shepard had no idea where those words came from, she wasn't one to talk about her emotions, yet they were true, she felt the honesty and the truth of them as she spoke.

When Shepard began speaking Liara had turned and faced her human and their eyes had locked.

"Oh Shepard… but I have done… you don't know," Liara's face showed the pain she was in and Shepard said as she reached out and took hold of Liara's shoulders.

"If you're talking about giving my body to Cerberus, I already know… you saved me Liara… you gave me the chance to come back to you… you don't have to say anything… tell me with your eyes that you will come back to me, that you'll give me the chance to make this up to you," Shepard searched her Asari's eyes for her answer and saw pain but she also saw love and longing.

"But you died…" and Liara broke down, deep sobs rending her body, tears flowing down her cheeks.

Shepard leaned in, wrapped her arms around Liara and pulled them both down onto the sand, Shepard flat on her back with Liara's face buried in Shepard's neck.

"I came back Liara… what does that tell you about the intentions of the universe… the will of the Goddess… the strength of our love… I came back to you," Shepard's eyes were also filled with tears but she felt joy, Liara was back where she belonged, in Shepard's arms.

"I missed you so much… the only thing that kept me going was hunting down the Shadow Broker… it is as you said Shepard, you are a part of me, but when you left me it was as if there was…" Shepard interrupted and kissed the top of Liara's head.

"As if there was a huge hole inside, just deep emptiness where all my happiness and joy used to be… a deep cold, dark pit of sorrow and pain…" Liara lifted herself onto her elbow so that she was looking down into Shepard's face.

"Yes that is exactly what it felt like," and in an instant Liara leaned down and found Shepard's lips.

They kissed first gently and then as if trying to slake a raging thirst, hungry, passionately, both their bodies responding to the deep siren call of desire.

Liara moved so that she was laying on top of Shepard, hands exploring each other's bodies, breath coming in short bursts in between long, deep kisses, tongues exploring, lost in each other.

"Join… with… me… Liara… need you…" Shepard said in between the kisses she was tracing along Liara's jawline and down her neck.

They looked at each other and Shepard saw Liara's eyes flash to the familiar black as she whispered…

"Embrace eternity..."

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Shepard felt Liara's breath, deep and regular on her neck. They had both fallen asleep after the join and Shepard could tell Liara was now exhausted.

She carefully moved from under Liara and positioned herself into a crouch over the still peacefully sleeping Asari, scooping her up Shepard stood and began carrying Liara off the beach.

Liara came to a little, blue eyes flickering open and filled with love, she put her arms around Shepard's neck and whispered something inaudible, but which sounded content to Shepard's ears, then drifted back to sleep, arms still entwined around her humans neck.

Shepard was almost to the house before being met by a concerned doctor and Matriarch who both appeared to have been kept in check by Garrus and Kasumi, as Shepard got closer Garrus spoke.

"Figured you only needed to ride out the storm and work your magic Shepard, no need for anyone to come rushing in to spoil the moment," he was more relaxed and happier than she had seen him since her return and the familiar twitching of his mandible's told her he was 'smiling'.

"Well that's all well and good Commander but Liara still needs rest and could have caused herself real damage," the Matriarch looked concerned.

"I'm going to take Liara to her room and she can continue to rest, the doctor can check on her… and Garrus it's good to know you have such faith in my sunny disposition," she smiled and continued into the house finally depositing Liara onto her bed.

When Shepard tried to pull away Liara stirred and held her strongly around her neck, "don't leave me Shepard" the young Asari whispered.

"I'll just be over by the window while the doc takes a few readings, you need to catch up on some sleep, I won't be far away," Shepard kissed Liara lightly on the lips and the moved back to make room for the doctor.

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As soon as Shepard was assured that Liara had fallen into a deep sleep she left the two Matriarchs with her and made her way to speak to Garrus.

The join on the beach hadn't been sexual, it was emotional, and a mind reconnection, but Shepard had still felt the edge of Liara's alter ego, the personality she had created to give her the strength to carry on.

Now she needed to know as much as she could about this 'other' Liara and she know Garrus would have been closest, apart from Shiala of course, and Shepard was pleased to feel the jealous rage rise up like bile in her mouth, she still had a score to settle with Shiala.

"Garrus I haven't had a chance to say thank you for protecting her and looking after her, you went way beyond anything I could rightfully have asked of you… I will be forever in your debt my friend…my brother," Shepard and Garrus were in a small sitting room and Garrus had just passed her a glass of Asari wine.

"We all played a part Shepard, Wrex, Kasumi, Anderson, Hackett most of all your mother… we were all in shock and grief at losing you but because of the bond Liara was in real trouble… and I don't think you coming back will fix everything.

The Priestess was really clear Liara needed to spend some time with them and work on her… well her boundaries and get control back… she has flashes of rage that seem to take her over." Garrus finished and took a long drink, he had been slightly dreading this conversation as he knew what was coming.

"Yeah, I'm going to speak to the head Priestess tomorrow with T'Joan, if that's what Liara needs to do then now is a good time while she's keeping a low profile.

But tell me about Shiala; T'Joan gave me the impression that she kinda manipulated Liara into what happened between them." Shepard left the implication hanging, that maybe Liara should have been protected from someone who wanted to take advantage of her.

"Shiala got straight in under Liara's defences; she was the one that brought the information about your body and the Collectors… I tried Shepard, the Matriarch too, but Liara somehow connected Shiala with the slim chance that you might be 'raised from the dead'… but you know, I think it was just… well not anything like you and Liara have," Garrus sounded guilty and embarrassed.

"Not your fault Garrus… Liara must have needed whatever Shiala was offering… but when I get a chance I will be asking Shiala what her game was," when Garrus looked puzzled Shepard continued, "oh I have to rescue Shiala or Liara will never forgive herself, and I fully intend to kill the Shadow Broker with my own hands for trying to kill Liara… yeah and working with the Collectors," Shepard smiled catching the fact that the Broker was at the top of her kill list more for the threat to Liara than to the galaxy.

They talked on and Garrus was able to share his experience of Liara's struggle with her grief and the struggle between her two 'personalities'.

Shepard knew that Liara was going to need a lot of help and support to recover, and that would probably include a lot of patience and love, what worried Shepard was the fact that she had a job to do and would have to leave Liara to do it.

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Shepard walked into the room and noticed the thin, white, floor length, curtains ruffling slightly in the soft breeze from the open veranda windows. The veranda ran the full length of Liara's bedroom and gave a view over the gardens to the sea in the distance, which was beginning to be tinted red by the Sun sinking fast towards the horizon.

Shepard could see Liara resting on a comfortable looking lounger on the veranda and she moved across the room to join her Asari.

"Hello Shepard, where did you go?" Liara gave Shepard a beaming smile from the lounger that allowed the Asari to keep her encased leg off the ground.

Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara and dropped into a lounger next to her lover and said.

"I wanted to catch up with Garrus, and to talk over a plan to deal with the threat you're under from the Shadow Broker.

The plan I have in mind puts out information that has you in some form of 'coma' and with no likelihood of recovery which will give us more time to track the Broker's base and may also result in him dropping his guard," Shepard stopped recognising that Liara's face had now clouded over and she had a hard edge to her voice when she spoke.

"I will not hide or stop my fight with the Shadow Broker and I will not rest until I have secured Shiala's freedom… Shepard you are back but I have my own work to do and until I have made the Shadow Broker pay the ultimate price it will not be over." Once again Shepard was looking into the eyes and face of a Liara she had never seen before.

"You can't do anything until you're fully fit and the Broker will be expecting you… and… you need to heal Liara, you need to spend time with the Priestess's…" Liara cut across Shepard and the Asari's eyes flashed as she spoke.

"Please do not think you can walk back into my life and assume control, I am not the timid Asari you left behind when you chose a pointless death rather than staying with me," Liara had waved away Shepard's attempts to challenge what was being said and Liara began to get unsteadily to her feet.

"Liara I have no intention of walking back into your life and telling you what to do… I thought you wanted to kill the Shadow Broker and rescue Shiala, but I can see now that you are determined to kill as many of your own troops as you can and die in some suicide mission to punish me or yourself or both of us…" Shepard had meant to be diplomatic and persuasive but the jibe about what happened on the Normandy stung.

Liara was standing now and looked a little taken aback as Shepard walked past her into the bedroom and towards the door to leave, and turned only as she had her hand on the door handle.

"Let me know if, when you get control of your temper, you would like an actual plan to achieve what you want. But don't wait too long I have my own work to do," and with that Shepard left the room and slammed the door behind her.

Shepard was shaking with a temper of her own but she was mad with herself and also upset, Garrus had tried to warn her but somehow Shepard thought that Liara wouldn't behave that way with her… not 'her' Liara… but this wasn't 'her' Liara… _'maybe it would have been better if I had stayed dead', _she thought moodily and stormed out of the house to her 'borrowed' ship.

As soon as the door slammed behind Shepard, Liara sat on the edge of the bed and fought back tears; she was confused, upset, angry and had no idea why she had acted in such a cold and hurtful way to Shepard.

She knew some of the anger, perhaps it was even rage, towards Shepard for 'leaving her' was real enough and her's to own, but if she kept putting this hard, cold, calculating front up they would never be able to work through their problems.

There was a light knock at the door and before she could tell them to go away, Matriarch T'Joan came quietly into the room, on seeing her she began to let the tears flow. The Matriarch held her while she sobbed and Liara told her about the argument and her fear that the old Liara was more and more lost to her.

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Shepard had the ship to herself and went to her cabin, found some Asari wine, then discovered a bottle of hard Asari Liquor.

'_Well I think I've earned not only a drink but a little oblivion from all the shit that seems to find me'_ Shepard poured a shot and drank it in one, '_oh yeah and welcome back Shepard.'_

Three shots later Shepard heard the door swish open and Garrus walked into the room.

"You do realise this isn't your ship, so that's not technically your booze," he smiled and sat down opposite.

"Here," Shepard said as she pulled another bottle and shot glass from inside the drinks cabinet "Turian proof," she relaxed back and watched as Garrus poured himself a drink.

"So what happened, all I know is that you stormed out and Liara is currently being comforted by the Matriarch? And I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if she thinks you upset Liara she is worse than a she Varren protecting her young," Garrus knocked back the drink he had poured and prepared another one.

Shepard ran him through the conversation and finished by saying.

"I was so angry at myself for losing my temper, but I… well… look I'm having to deal with a load of shit and come to terms with a world that is almost two years further on but for me it's been days…

It's like I went to sleep and everything I was certain of, everyone I knew, including and especially Liara, turned into complete strangers… I'm still in the universe that existed when I left you guys on the mess deck of the Normandy…" she trailed off and poured another shot.

"Shepard I can't imagine how hard this is for you, and we haven't even talked about the part where you wake up to find you also have a son…" Garrus poured another shot and raised his glass in a toast, "and congratulations by the way, for your son and coming back from the dead… I missed you." There was real sadness in Garrus's eyes and Shepard saw for the first time how her death had also affected her friend.

"But I did warn you about Liara… and to be honest I thought you would have had more self-control Shepard, she is falling apart… or rather falling into this alternate version of herself and she doesn't know how to stop it.

You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, or disappointed in Liara for not pulling herself together just because you've come back, and you need to be there for her, whatever it takes to get her well and healed." Garrus's voice was quiet but firm and Shepard felt ashamed at the way she had handled the set back with Liara.

Garrus was right, she needed to put aside her hurt feelings and pride and focus on Liara, this is how Shepard would eventually make and then keep Liara safe, as if reading Shepard's thoughts Garrus continued.

"My friend you can't always solve everything with a great big fucking explosion," Garrus once again filled his glass and held it forward for a toast.

Shepard raised her freshly filled glass and touched the two together saying.

"To friendship, honesty and loyalty… to you Garrus," they both drank their shots down in one.

Much later with two empty bottles on the table, many toasts, stories of battles and romantic exploits, the two were very, very drunk and only a little while later both the Human and the Turian had passed out where they sat, slow deep breathing the only sound in the cabin.

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Shepard dropped back into consciousness to be welcomed by a banging head ache, neck and back stiffness and the inside of her mouth was beyond disgusting. She actually moaned as she pulled herself upright, eyes falling on her Turian companion who was still out for the count.

Dragging herself into a standing position and feeling the blood pulse even more painfully through her skull, she found the small shower and stood under its quickly heated water until she felt partly human again, finishing by scrubbing her teeth as soon as she could stand the movement.

Riffling through the one bag she had brought with her she found some camouflage trousers, black t shirt and hooded sweat, once dressed she threw a pillow at Garrus's head and said loudly, "Garrus all hands to battle stations we have incoming."

Garrus jumped to his feet and buckled as if he had hit his head on a steel beam, he turned to see Shepard grinning broadly.

"You look like shit Turian," and she began to move towards the door, "get a shower I'll see you in the house, I'm going to find coffee."

"Yeah well you don't look so hot yourself… and you're the reason my head feels like a grenade went off between my ears… you're a bad influence Shepard," he said to Shepard's retreating back.

Walking up to the house Shepard put a plan together and once she had laced herself with coffee and something to stop the throbbing in her head she would take it to Liara and try to mend her fences.

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Shepard found Liara in the comms room looking through data at one of the terminals. She walked up alongside and reached out to touch Liara's arm.

"Oh, hello Shepard," Liara said with a wary smile as she turned a little unsteadily towards Shepard, "where did you go after we… well… after," she trailed off as Shepard held her eyes in a steady gaze.

"I need to apologise to you Liara, my behaviour yesterday evening was unacceptable. I had no right to say what I did and I had no right to get so mad at you. Could we go somewhere and talk if you have some time?" Shepard had put her hand under Liara's elbow to steady her; the Asari was still finding it difficult to keep her balance in the tech cast.

"No it is I who must apologise Shepard, please let us go and talk somewhere quiet, perhaps in the garden?" Liara had placed one hand on Shepard's shoulder and the other was stroking the side of her human's face.

"Come on then let me give you a lift, I'm going to miss this when you're back on both your feet," Shepard said as she scooped Liara up in her arms and headed for the front door.

Liara smiled at Shepard and held her around the neck, nuzzling her face into Shepard's neck, she said "I am surprised by how much I enjoy you doing this Shepard be careful I do not demand it even after my leg has healed" and she kissed Shepard's neck before squeezing herself as tight as she could into Shepard's body.

They found a table and chairs around the back of the house on the edge of the formal garden, and once settled Shepard began to talk.

"Liara I need you to know how much I regret having put you through my death and then having to deal with the aftermath… I… if I was in the same situation I'm not sure that I'd make a different decision… that's who I am… the same way I know that deep inside you understand that, and although you've got every right to be angry with me for leaving you, you wouldn't want me to change who I am.

And I know who you are, and not some timid Asari who I can impress or who will allow me to do their thinking for them. You are a strong, independent and fearless person, and you're also kind… you hate cruelty and would rather try to save someone than kill them.

You do more to change my actions and decisions than the other way around and that makes me a better person, a better leader, a much better soldier. And that's how I know that the personality that you brought into life is not truly who you are.

You fought hard to be the person you wanted to be, not a carbon copy of your mother, or her natural heir… not saying she was a bad person, but you didn't want the life she mapped out for you then so don't let it take you over now.

Liara believe me when I say that I love you and always will and I will stay with you, but I won't let you destroy yourself from the inside out, if you love me Liara" and Shepard leaned over and took both the Asari's hands in her own, "you will do what everyone who loves and cares about you has been begging you to do.

And I'm here now to help you with your mission, it's mine too, and we will do it together, but you need to heal yourself, you have to spend time with the Priestess's and we need time to plan how we take the Broker down.

Please Liara, think about it, consider it at least." Shepard kissed each of Liara's hands and moved so that she was kneeling on the ground in front of Liara.

"There was something that I wanted to do, should have done, on Arcturus, for me a matter of weeks ago, for you a whole world of pain and loneliness ago." Liara looked steadily into Shepard's eyes and the marine squared her shoulders, took a deep breath and continued.

"When I planned to ask you before I was pretty sure of the answer, but now I'm not sure of your answer, but it's how I felt then and it's how I feel now… so… Liara will you marry me, be my bondmate," Shepard added quickly as she was trying to read Liara's reaction, "I have a child now and regardless of how he came into being he is mine and will be part of my life… but… oh darling I so wanted any children that I would ever have to be ours, together…" Shepard faltered to a stop as Liara put a finger to her human's lips.

"My answer would have been yes to you Shepard, in fact I was considering the same question for you… but… now… I am not the woman you loved then… I may never be again," and she broke down as tears flowed down her cheeks but continued.

"It is so cruel Shepard, all I wanted all I held onto was that you might, by some miracle come back to me, but to survive I allowed some monstrous version of myself to take hold… what if I can't be truly myself again… you will end up hating me and I could not bear to see that in your eyes… I can not bear to lose you again Shepard."

"Then don't lose me Liara, I won't leave you and I'll be with you while you find your true self again, trust me my love… you don't have to say yes now, I'll wait, I'd wait an eternity for you Liara…" Shepard cupped Liara's face with her hands and kissed away the tears from her cheeks, her eyes and then kissed her tenderly on her lips.

"I will start today Shepard, can we go to the temple together and speak with the Lady El'Estrene?" Liara tried a wan smile which only made her look sadder and Shepard felt such a stab of pain it was almost physical.

"Yes of course, do you want to organise it with the Matriarch, or I could go and speak to her?" Shepard knew she needed to be very careful of Liara's feelings and didn't want to even give the appearance of trying to control the situation.

"Would you speak to the Matriarch please, I don't really want to speak to anyone, I will stay here and try to meditate," Liara reached out and held one of Shepard's hands as she stood up and looked up into her love's troubled face.

"And my answer is yes Shepard if I can be sure I can heal the rift inside me, my answer will always be yes."

On hearing the words Shepard couldn't help but break into a huge grin, she wanted to pick Liara up with the sheer joy she was feeling; instead she leaned down and kissed her Asari, then touched foreheads and said.

"I love you T'Soni, always will, so you better get yourself sorted out, we have a lot of living to do together," Shepard was rewarded with a real smile, 'her' Liara was smiling up at her and all was finally coming right this new universe.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Leaving Liara sitting in the growing morning sunshine Shepard sought out Matriarch T'Joan who started to deliver a severe dressing down but Shepard cut her off saying.

"I accept anything that you wish to say to me Matriarch, you couldn't be harder on my than I am on myself… but can we do this later… Liara has agreed to go to see the Priestess and I want to strike while the iron is hot." Shepard noted the quizzical look on the Matriarch's face and said, "sorry, bit of an Earth saying, I mean let's get this done while she has the strength to face all her demons."

The Matriarch nodded, "I will contact the Lady El'Estrene, the Temple is only a five minute sky car drive, they will be ready when we get there." And with that the Matriarch walked away already sparking up her OT to make contact with the Temple.

As Shepard walked back towards the place Liara was still sitting, still looking out across the gardens, she felt a catch in her chest and a wash of fear ran through her mind. '_What if she can never truly heal her mind… her soul… whatever the hell damage you did to her_, Shepard thought bitterly, '_well done Shepard, the one pure, good, shinning person you've ever had in your life and you almost kill her along with yourself._'

Shepard shrugged off her inner tirade before she placed her hand on Liara's shoulder; the Asari continued to look into the middle distance but covered Shepard's hand with her own.

"We can make our way over now, the Matriarch will have a sky car ready in front of the house," Shepard spoke tenderly.

"Thank you Shepard," Liara's voice was quiet and when she stood she looked directly into her Human's eyes.

Shepard lost herself in those oh so deep blue eyes, whose colour seemed to shift subtly with Liara's mood, right now Shepard saw pain and grief that tore at her own soul, but she saw the edge of something else, something harder.

"Shepard I need you to know that I meant what I said about not being able to come back to you unless I can once again be truly myself… no please let me finish… even at this moment I am struggling with a strong voice and will that can not see what is wrong with being who I have become… it is me Shepard not some outside force… this is another me, but know it is not who I want to be… I will fight to come back to you but you must continue on with your life…" Liara faltered as she spoke the final words as they both knew what she was saying.

Shepard drew Liara into her arms and kissed her with all the love and tenderness she had for her lovely, grieving, soft and kind Asari.

"You are the love of my life Liara... I'll be waiting for you my darling… but you need to put you front and centre… come on soldier let's get this done," Shepard's words were tender and she gave the best smile she could muster with her last words and was rewarded with a weak flicker of a smile from Liara despite the tears in both their eyes.

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They were shown into the High Priestess's office and Shepard felt seriously underdressed and very unworthy. She could almost feel the millennia of learning and spiritual 'muscle' that seemed to imbue everything, from the writings on the walls, the beautiful objects liberally scattered around, to the Asari Priestess's themselves.

When Lady El'Estrene entered the room Shepard could literally feel the power of the woman but instead of being stern and distant, which is what Shepard was expecting, the Asari Matriarch exuded a loving, calm and accepting presence.

Liara and the Matriarch T'Joan gave an Asari spiritual greeting to the Priestess, heads bowed and hands covering their hearts and then folding out; there was just a hint of blue energy playing around their hands and the area they had been covering just over their hearts. Shepard bowed her head to show her respect. The Priestess nodded but without any further ceremony walked straight up to Liara and enfolded her in a hug.

"Ah little wing why have you waited and struggled with this pain for so long," El'Estrene said in a warm and quiet tone but Shepard felt the strength of the love behind the words, "you are here now and that is what is important."

Liara continued to lean into the Priestess even after being released from the full hug El'Estrene kept an arm around the young Asari and spoke to Shepard.

"I apologise Commander but you see I was present at this little one's birth and I have watched over her, spiritually, all her life.

We must waste no further time in finding out what is amiss, Matriarch T'Joan would you leave us, blessings of the Goddess be upon you."

This time the Matriarch covered her face with her hands before opening them out, still head bowed, she left without a word.

It was only then that Shepard noticed that there were two other Priestesses' in the room and they now moved next to the High Priestess who continued, this time, looking between Liara and Shepard as she spoke to both of them.

"I need to initiate a meld with Liara and then with you Commander so that I have the fullest understanding of what may have happened to Liara, with your consent?" Lady El'Estrene directed her question at Shepard it was obvious that Liara knew what was required and coming here had automatically implied her agreement.

"Yes of course anything I can do… anything you need of me," Shepard was concerned and a little fearful, she had only melded with Liara, but she meant what she said, '_anything it takes will never even touch the sides of making it up to her'_, Shepard thought as her eyes were drawn to her love.

"Thank you Commander, I expected nothing less, now we will begin, are you ready little wing?" the High Priestess turned to face Liara who gave her a small nod and closed her eyes. From where she was standing she saw all three sets of eyes flash to black before being closed and then there was silence and stillness in the room.

Shepard didn't know how to describe what she was experiencing but it was as if small shadows of a dream, nightmare, were being remembered somewhere deep in her unconscious mind, but the emotions were rippling just under the surface.

Fear, grief, loss… anger… such deep, deep sadness, emptiness… the feeling that Shepard herself had when realising the bond between them had been lost… but that space had grown to blot out everything… Shepard felt emotionally exhausted, dead, broken.

Shepard only realised she had dropped to her knees when hands reached down to help her up, Liara had obviously been helped to sit in one of the large armchairs and was being attended to by one of the younger Priestess's.

The hands that helped her into another chair were those of the High Priestess herself.

"You felt an echo of the meld, what Liara was showing us?" it was a question but the High Priestess sounded as if she knew what the answer would be.

"Yes", Shepard was surprised at the roughness of her voice, as if she had been shouting for hours, and she was so exhausted.

"Are you ready for the meld Commander," Lady El'Estrene asked quietly.

"Yes, yes of course," Shepard said more strongly now and she stood up.

This time it was only the High Priestess who stayed close to Shepard and said.

"It will not be necessary for my sisters to join us, ready," and with a nod from Shepard the Priestess's eyes flashed to black and Shepard felt the presence of another in her mind.

It wasn't like any meld she had had with Liara, it was more chaotic, images and emotions streamed through her mind, she couldn't catch them all, fragments… some old… some she didn't even recognise, and then it was over.

When Shepard opened her eyes she saw a very puzzled and worried look on the High Priestess face, who moved away to sit in a chair facing Liara and indicated Shepard should sit next to the young Asari.

Lady El'Estrene considered them both for a moment and then began speaking.

"Whether you rely on faith, belief, science, logic or reason there is little doubt that everything in the universe is one and the same. That we are all made from the same material, and that everything, including our life force, energy, that which gives us our soul is never destroyed but merely recycled to continue to play a part in the universal consciousness."

Shepard thought that was the most elegant explanation of the basics of thermodynamics she had ever heard, '_although you could just have ingested a huge amount of the coolaid Shepard_,' she thought to herself and then returned her focus to what the High Priestess was saying.

"I believe amongst Human's you have a branch of belief that speaks of reincarnation, but what our Asari teachings have speculated is something much more random, but that the energy that creates and fuels a beings individual identity, which we call have named 'soul', may not fall to the natural entropy of the universe but remain intact and thus when animating a new sentient being will carry, as molecular memory, a sense of its past self.

This is all pure theory of course, but Asari scientists as well as spiritual thinkers have worked on this hypothesis as a way of understanding some of the phenomena Asari's have experienced due to our ability to join.

Whatever we may 'think' or 'believe' about these postulations it would seem that something has happened to 'trigger' memories, connections, and experiences from a time period longer than Liara's life. Commander you also bear the signs that this is not the first time your 'soul' has manifested itself on this plain of existence.

It is as if a rift in the barriers that keep these 'older' manifestations of your existence has fractured in your soul Liara and when you reached for the strength to carry on you reached into that rift and by doing so you have forced it open, the rift was caused in the first place by the lifetimes strong connection you both seem to have with each other.

There is no other way I can describe what I have seen and felt. I realise this will be very hard for you to accept Commander, but if it helps there are perfectly good scientific theories for it." The High Priestess had picked up on the high level of scepticism that Shepard was trying to keep in check, it all sounded a bit 'out there' to her.

"It really doesn't matter what I think or believe my Lady but what is it that you need from me to help heal Liara," as Shepard spoke she reached out and held Liara's hand and felt a responding squeeze.

"Yes that is all that matters," the Priestess continued, "but it does mean that this is not ordinary spiritual injury and I can not make any promises about how this will end.

I do not know if we will be able to heal the rift, Liara you may have to accept that this 'other' you is what remains, but be sure that this is a version of yourself, and perhaps once fully embodied it may…" but Liara cut off the Priestess and turned sharply to look at Shepard.

"No… this is not who I am… I can not lose you again Shepard… you have to make this right my Lady, you must find a way…" Liara's silent sobs, the fear and confusion in her eyes and the tears rolling down her soft blue cheeks broke Shepard in two.

"Hey, it's ok, I'm not going anywhere, and we'll find a way… Lady El'Estrene will find a way, she's just doing the doc's equivalent of worse case... isn't that right my Lady," and Shepard looked across at the Priestess with a mix of pleading and demand in her eyes as she held Liara.

"Yes, we will find a way to… heal this Liara, now say goodbye to the Commander and then you can go and get some rest; I will have a final word about the arrangements with the Commander before she leaves."

The two younger Priestesses left the room and the Lady El'Estrene moved away from then to sit behind her desk. Liara stood up and Shepard held her in her arms, her Asari's head buried into her neck.

"I have only just noticed you hair Shepard," Liara said softly and sounding as if she had a head cold. "It is longer than you usually wear it." As she spoke Liara ran her fingers through the hair which was indeed much longer than Shepard wore it, touching her collar and falling almost into her eyes.

"Yeah you can see that it's got a big of a wave to it… but don't get used to it as soon as I get the time I'll find a hair shop and get it back in shape, " she smiled down into those compelling and mesmerising blue eyes which were as beautiful as ever even if a little bloodshot.

"I think I could get used to it," and Liara leaned in to kiss Shepard on the lips while gripping a handful of hair and tugging slightly.

Shepard gave her a smile when they broke apart and said.

"Ok T'Soni I'll make you a deal, as soon as you're out of here I'll grow it for you but only this length and only until you get bored with it," Shepard basked in the smile that Liara gave her and leaned in for another kiss.

Then they stood apart and with one last touch of her cheek Liara turned as if she carried the sadness of two worlds on her shoulders and left the room.

Shepard just stood and stared at the door until she was called back into the moment by the Priestess.

"Commander I will do everything in my power to make this right, but this is uncharted territory, it will not be long before Liara realises the danger she would put you in if she properly joined with you while she was in this state and I know she would not do anything to cause you pain."

"What do you mean danger… I feel ok… a bit strange… but then I have been dead," Shepard ended with a sarcastic tone aimed more at herself than the Priestess.

"Commander the potential rift exists within you also, you are both… I am not sure what it is yet, but you share the same connections, in short Commander you and Liara have 'been here before' to put it in Earth vernacular."

"Look even if I did believe this fantastical tale about souls reincarnating, or whatever it is, you're also asking me to believe that me and Liara have also been together before… I just… but like I said it doesn't matter what I believe… you have to make it right, even if she can't come back to me, but you've got to help her she's in so much pain that I can feel… and it's made no difference that I'm back…" Shepard finally said out loud what had been eating away at her since realising that she wasn't going to the silver bullet for Liara's recovery.

"Oh you are wrong to believe that Commander, without your return there would be no hope at all that Liara could heal herself in this life and that damage would, if we believe the theory, follow her into the future. No Commander you're coming back is the catalyst to her recovery but the rest is up to her and all of us at the Temple.

I have something I can give you before you leave, but I warn you it will be a painful gift but may help you become more synchronised within yourself." The Priestess watched Shepard from behind the desk, her eyes kind, intelligent, knowing, it was as if she could and did have the ability to look deep into Shepard's soul.

"I'm listening."

"I could meld with you and share in a more controlled way what Liara is experiencing but this would also sharpen the focus on your connections to your past history. I could also help you retrieve the 'memories' of the months that you were, shall we say, not completely alive; not clear memories or physical pain, more a sense of the passing of time."

Shepard thought for a while, she wanted to be in the same place as Liara, so long as it didn't debilitate her, she had a job to do after all… and she had to admit this weird time difference between herself and the rest of the universe made every moment somehow unreal at a certain level.

"Will I be able to function properly, I have to go back to work, I can't…" The Priestess interrupted Shepard and said.

"Commander you have one of the strongest, keenest minds and intellects I have ever met and your soul is, well, powerful in a way that I have only sensed in Asari who have spent all their life span on its development. You will be able to carry on normally, and with the understanding of how strong Liara is not to have collapsed completely from what has happened to her."

"I know how strong Liara is," Shepard said quickly her eyes shining.

Lady El'Estrene smiled and despite herself Shepard felt calmer and smiled back.

"Have no fear Commander I know without doubt how highly you hold Liara T'Soni in you esteem and how much you love her, body and soul, I have seen it and felt it. Know that your love and devotion is reciprocated."

The Priestess moved from behind the desk and stood in front of Shepard and again her eyes flashed to black and again Shepard felt her powerful but benign presence in her mind and this time she now also felt Liara.

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Shepard had told Matriarch T'Joan that she would walk back to the estate, she needed time to get hold of how she was feeling; the meld had been a real shock to her system.

It did give her an insight into what Liara had been struggling with, the terrible fight with her alter ego and what Shepard herself was now feeling. It was as if she could 'feel' an enormous stretch of time, a history, her history like a long road bringing her to this point in time and space.

'_So I get the total weirdness of a sense of existing, living before I was born… but none of the bloody useful stuff, like why… or anything I learned along the way… great Shepard… worst of both worlds'_, she thought as she walked along a wooded path back towards the T'Soni house.

She stopped and leaned her back against one of the enormous trees, they were old, she could feel it, and a wave of absolute terror flooded her veins, it literally took her legs from under her and she slipped down the tree until she was sitting with her head in her hands.

'_What happened… what did I do… so much blood… blood on my hands… I couldn't save them_,' her thoughts were ragged, the words her own and she knew them to be true but not what they meant. The terror turned to a sense of failure the like of which she had never felt even when being hyper critical of herself, the failure was linked to whatever had terrorised her and to Liara, she felt rather than thought it… '_this is too fucking much… what the fuck am I supposed to do with this… she said it wouldn't stop me from… Reapers… Reapers… is this what it's about… why is it so freakin jumbled my head_…' Shepard tried hard to find a link between what she was feeling and the return of the visions of the Reapers destroying the Prothean galaxy.

And as soon as the wave of failure ebbed away a heavy burden descended on her, she felt it settle as if it was a physical weight, on her shoulders, in her mind… she held out her hands in front of her and for a moment thought she saw the echoes of blood, red, blue, green, black.

'_Yeah well if you're trying to tell me I have to fight the Reapers I didn't need a meld and a speech about space magic to convince me… I've known that since Eden Prime and the beacon… but why didn't the beacon fry my brain… I didn't have to take all this on, not really… why didn't I have a choice…it was like some switch was pushed, I pushed some switch inside…_' Shepard sat for what seemed like hours turning everything over in her mind.

Lady El'Estrene had said she would also give Shepard the months that she had been 'not alive' back and she had. Shepard now felt as if real time had elapsed even though she had no real conscious memory of most of what happened, although there were fragments of Miranda's voice that she must have picked up towards the end of her time under sedation.

Shepard finally got up and began making her way back to the estate, the weight of responsibility she was already feeling seemed to have developed deep roots, she could feel them as she brought up memories of her life so far, subtle and perhaps even imagined… but it felt to Shepard, in that moment, that everything she had ever done, every decision made, had prepared her, honed her for being here, facing down an old, old enemy…

'_The galaxy's old enemy is what I mean, for sure, not mine personally, don't get all mystical on my ass Shepard…_'

She continued to tell herself she hadn't really been alive all that long; but she also accepted that she was certainly exhausted enough for more than one lifetime.

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Shepard had some final preparations to make at the T'Soni house and had decided she would head for Illium first thing the next day.

The security at the house was to be increased as if they were still protecting their sick mistress. Rumours and leaked medical information would continue to drip out for the Shadow Broker to pick up and Shepard knew she had to play her part or else he would not drop his guard.

She made most of the arrangements with the Matriarch as both Garrus and Kasumi wanted to leave with Shepard; everyone knew it could be a very long time before Liara was well enough to leave the Temple. They both wanted to continue where they had left off before the Normandy was attacked, and they also wanted to help Shepard bring down the Shadow Broker for Liara.

Liara had told Shepard exactly what the Shadow Broker had told her and more importantly what he had shown her, the footage from inside the clinic, which meant anyone there could be an agent for him.

Shepard put in a call to her Grandmother who had taken charge of Shepard's son and alerted her to the possible security risk. They decided to let the clinic nurse go, without arousing suspicion, and they would also increase security, just in case.

Shepard would also take Skark and Malania; Senna would stay and take charge of the estate security along with Evictus.

All of Shepard's team would stay and all security would focus on the estate, everyone, including Shepard knew that Liara was safe at the Temple. Not only because it was highly unlikely that the Broker would learn of their deception but because all the Priestess's were extremely powerful biotics, Lady El'Estrene would not let anything happen to Liara, Shepard was sure about that.

It was evening before Shepard felt she had done all she could to prepare the estate so that she could leave for Illium first thing.

"Shep would it be ok if I joined you, I thought you might want a little company," Kasumi's tone was light but Shepard knew the strain she was under had shown at dinner. Shepard had left before everyone, heading for the garden and the table she had last shared with Liara.

"Yeah of course… actually… I've missed our chats, Kas," Shepard was struggling with the overload of thoughts populating her tired mind and she knew she could talk in complete confidence to Doctor Goto.

"Come on, out with it… you look as if your head will explode if you don't empty it a little," Shepard had already filled Kasumi and Garrus in on the highlights of what happened at the Temple.

Garrus was his usual sceptical self which Shepard always appreciated as it spoke to a very strong part of her nature, he had no faith in anything he couldn't take to pieces and put back together again.

But Kasumi was both a scientist and a Buddhist, a belief system that had evolved since its origins way back in Earth history and was much more akin to the Asari faith, and as such she was much more open to those things that couldn't be explained, yet, by science.

"I wonder if we were to weight my heart Kas whether I would make it through to the afterlife," Shepard didn't bother with any preamble, she picked up a conversation that had taken place in the Normandy mess nearly two and half years ago

"Well you know the Ancient Egyptians also prized the heart over the brain so maybe they didn't know everything," Kas said trying to take the edge off but continued, "the very fact that you question your actions and feel the loss of every life you take… yes you do Shep… even the ones who didn't leave you a choice. I know you carry the responsibility for ending a life with you… surely that tells you something about who you are?"

"It tells me I give in to feeling sorry for myself occasionally…" Shepard gave Kas a weak grin and then felt the weight of all those times the Reapers had harvested her galaxy, "but there's blood on my hands… too much to ever wash off."

"Oh come on Shep you haven't killed that many, and you are a marine, it's what you have to do to protect those who can't protect themselves," Kas was now concerned she had never seen Shepard like this before.

"You don't understand Kas… it's the blood of all those I couldn't save… all those I won't be able to protect… I have this overwhelming sense that it's my responsibility… it's my fault…"

Kasumi Goto knew when to hold her tongue, when to just sit and be silently supportive, it was all she could do given the level of pain and grief that Shepard seemed to be in, and so they sat and both tried to find some peace in the warm darkness of the seemingly endless Thessian summer.

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"We are about leave, Matriarch T'Joan, Garrus said you wanted to speak to me?" Shepard was a little wary; she really wasn't in the mood for a telling off and didn't know if she could keep her temper. And as she had been summoned to Liara's bedroom it really couldn't be anything else.

"Commander I thought you might want to see this before you leave, its Liara's private meditation room, just here off her bedroom," the Matriarch was standing by a door that Shepard hadn't really noticed before.

"If it's her private space Matriarch I don't feel I should…" T'Joan cut her off saying.

"I know her well enough to be confident she would have shown you this herself if things had been… normal," the Matriarch opened the door and moved aside for Shepard to walk in.

It was a small room and without windows, the walls were covered with beautiful embroidered hangings depicting what Shepard assumed were stories from Asari spiritual teaching.

A low, narrow table at one end of the room was obviously the focus for meditation with candles, a statue of the Goddess and a few other small abstract pieces of sculpture and two images, not vid clips or stills, but black and white sketches. One was clearly of Benezia and the other was Shepard herself.

On one of the side walls there was also a small table upon which stood what remained of her N7 chest plate and her N7 helmet both much the worse for wear as she had been wearing them that fateful day on the Normandy.

Standing alongside and hung around the neck of another statue of the Goddess were Shepard's dog tags. Suddenly she could feel Liara's presence in this room, sensed the hours, days, weeks and finally months spent with one hope, one wish, that Shepard would come back… she knew without doubt in that moment how powerfully Liara had refused to let Shepard go, couldn't let her go, and so how tightly their fate was intertwined.

"Liara wore them for most of the first year and then as she found herself becoming more and more obsessed with the Shadow Broker, and no news came from Doctor Lawson, she felt she was losing the right to wear them," the Matriarch was looking at Shepard who was running her fingers over her tags, "she would want you to have them back Shepard."

Shepard couldn't remember the Matriarch calling her anything but 'Commander' before and she looked up at the older Asari and saw the pain in her eyes.

"It's been hard for you, losing Lady Benezia and then Liara coming home and nearly losing her," Shepard once again realised that the impact of her relationship with Liara and her 'death' had rippled out and touched many more lives than she would have imagined.

"Yes, they are both very dear to me… and what happened to Benezia well… that was not who she was Commander." They looked at each other for a few more moments and as Shepard squared her shoulders she picked up the dog tags and put them on.

The Matriarch walked Shepard out onto the lawn and looked as if she was trying to come to a decision, but when she spoke she was as inscrutable as ever.

"I suggest you visit Omega Commander, perhaps a talk with Aria T'Loak would be useful, although it is next to impossible to try to predict what frame of mind Matriarch T'Loak will be in one moment to the next," Shepard had never heard anyone call Aria Matriarch and in fact was sure she'd heard a rumour that the last person who did so found themselves threatened with being sent head first out of the nearest air lock.

Shepard nodded and said, "thank you for all your help Matriarch may the Goddess be with you and those you watch over," Shepard made a good attempt at an Asari parting sign and noticed a small smile tweak the corner of the Matriarch's mouth.

"We will make an Asari of you yet Commander."

The shuttle lifted off from the T'Soni estate and Shepard sat in the co-pilot seat for the whole journey to Illium, trying to wrangle her thoughts, but they were a mess.

'_If I could just get some control over my fucking thoughts… my head's shot…_' Shepard took a deep breath and then thought, '_well I'd better get my head straight before people start shooting at it… you've got a galaxy to save Shepard, for a very lovely and very beautiful, troubled young Asari'._


	29. Chapter 29

A/N The song that Shepard was listening to can be heard here www. / watch?v=q_utFz2wmtE (remove the spaces)

I use a lot of music while I'm writing and as a backdrop to particular scenes and I'll continue to mention the important ones as we go along.

Chapter 29

"This is amazing Kas, how the hell did you find it so quickly," Shepard was standing in the middle of an large open plan apartment with almost floor to ceiling windows that formed two of the outer walls. Immediately to the right was a well equipped kitchen and the main space had three large sofas and another area that would clearly work as dinning space.

"This is the very best neighbourhood Illium has to offer Shep just as you wanted, if you look up there is an open gallery that gives access to four bedrooms, bathrooms and the lift to the roof," Kasumi paused to enjoy the sight of Shepard's eyebrows raising and a look of amazement forming on her face.

She continued, "Oh yes… this being the penthouse you are the only one with access to the roof and the sky car that comes with the apartment.

Anyone who shouldn't be seen visiting or living here can access directly from above. I bought a five year lease, that was the shortest term they would give me… but" Shepard turned and gave Kas a hug and interrupted her by saying.

"It's perfect, everything I asked for, show my upstairs, which one will work as the nursery," Shepard was already heading for the stairs as she noticed a door leading off the main area and before she could ask Kasumi smiled and said.

"A decent sized study, you know Liara and her research," Shepard smiled again at Kas but this time there was an edge of sadness in her eyes, nothing was certain about Liara joining her here or anywhere else for that matter.

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It had been nearly a week since Shepard had returned to Illium. She kept the hotel rooms for show, but had in fact been settling into the penthouse apartment with her team.

Shepard had decided that most of the time Veetor'Nara would work from the apartment so he had been spending most of his time and a large chunk of credits on equipping one of the bedrooms and a comms hub and his research lab.

She offered him one of the bedrooms but he insisted that he was happy sleeping in the 'comms room', it was certainly big enough and it's where he felt most at home.

Kasumi had paid a visit to Vert Plunes to 'ask' for his help on Shepard's behalf. When Kas reported back to Shepard about the meeting she said he seemed almost resigned to the fact that he would hear from Shepard on a regular basis.

But Kasumi also said that he was helpful and sorted things out quickly. So if anyone went looking for anything that may be owned or leased by Shepard they would not find it, the lease was hidden amongst the assets of a certain merc group.

The final piece in the jigsaw was Shepard's son. She wanted, needed, to take responsibility for him despite her dangerous and precarious lifestyle. The apartment had been put in place for that very reason. Once the idea formed Shepard could also see the advantage of having a 'base' that would not be under Cerberus control or scrutiny.

There was one big problem, how she was going to care for her son while she was also chasing all over the galaxy hunting down the Collectors and the Shadow Broker.

The situation had been solved by Shepard's mother and grandmother. Shepard's cousin Jamie had served one term in the Alliance but was now working in a crèche on the Arcturus station but agreed to join Shepard, to look after her son, as soon as he was approached by his aunt Captain Shepard.

Jamie had been dispatched to Earth to pick young John up and bring him to Illium and they were due at the Illium space terminal in a couple of hours. Shepard had sent Garrus and Kasumi to meet them, now all that remained was for her to wait for the arrival of her son.

She had a couple more days before she was due back at the Cerberus station to formerly enter her contract with Jack Harper and Miranda was already heading to Illium to pick her up.

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It was Shepard's last day and they had all congregated in the living area, dispersed around the sofas and all watching a game of baseball on the large screen. Shepard and Jamie had enjoyed themselves no end trying to explain the game to Garrus and Veetor who couldn't grasp the mechanics of the scoring system, or much else if truth be told.

Kasumi at least understood the significance of the opening game of the 2185 season but not the choice of team that Shepard and Jamie were supporting.

"So why are the two of you, with all your Vancouver connections following the fortunes of the Vladivostok Bears?" She asked looking across at Shepard who had young John fast asleep in the crook of her arm.

"Family heritage," Shepard answered, "most of the families that make up the Shepard Skorgaard clan can trace a connection to the old Russian Empire.

My family are connected to the Viking that laid the foundations for Russia and this little fella carries his name 'Oleg'."

"You know Shepard I don't think you've given him enough names, the usual number for Turian society is around nine, to fully reflect the glorious heritage of the house this fine miniature human has been born into," Garrus was smiling and Shepard laughed in response remembering the first time Garrus had listed his ten names most of which she had forgotten.

"Yeah well I reckon three is enough for anyone," she said and noticing Kasumi's questioning look continued, "well John, as you know for my father, Oleg for the warrior conqueror heritage in the family and Asoka who was a ruthless warrior but who then saw the light and became a kind and enlightened Buddhist king… kinda hoping to give him the best range of options when he's old enough to choose his own path," she smiled down at the sleeping infant.

"You do realise the unifying factor amongst those all those names though Shepard… they were all warriors," Kasumi said with a huge smile.

"Yeah well genes will out," Shepard answered and joined in the laughter as they all looked at the small human and the consummate warrior that cradled him.

The game ended with the Bears winning eleven to four against the Detroit Tigers which was Shepard's cue to leave. Passing her son to Jamie and making her goodbyes she left with Garrus who was going to drop her off at the hotel where she would meet Miranda.

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Shepard stood once more in the room that would connect her via QEC to Jack Harper and as he flickered into existence in front of her, with his familiar burning backdrop, she felt the same urge to strangle him with her bare hands.

But she now needed to start playing a very different game.

"So Commander I hope you have attended to all your personal matters and you're ready to start your mission to bring down the Collectors?" Harpers tone was friendly as he scrutinized her with his prosthetic steely blue eyes.

"Indeed, it would seem that my coming back from the dead has caused a lot of questions to be asked and I'm damn certain I'm not going to be a lab rat for the Alliance while those responsible for destroying my ship and killing my crew are out there.

You seem to have been right about the unwillingness of the Council and the Alliance to believe the Reaper threat is still very real… but don't get too comfortable with all this Harper, my enemies enemy doesn't necessarily make them a friend.

This is a business arrangement and a way I can pay off my debt to you for bringing me back, I don't like being in anyone's debt let along a murdering, duplicitous bastard who I would still like to see dead." Her voice was hard and cold her stare unwavering.

She would distance herself from the Alliance and play the part of a renegade but she would not cosy up to Harper or Cerberus that would be unbelievable and it was unnecessary.

"I'm glad we can find common ground Shepard, you may not believe it or like it but I admire and respect you as a shining example of humanities courage and ingenuity, you embody the best that humanity has to offer the galaxy.

You also have a unique relationship with the Reapers and therefore the Collectors which you will be able to exploit in order to bring them down."

"You mean they want me dead or alive so as bait I won't have long till I find myself in a fight with them," she knew that was one of the reasons Harper had brought her back and not only because she had been instrumental in stopping the Reapers returning the last time they tried.

"Perhaps we should move on to your preparations to meet the challenges the Collectors pose," it wasn't so much a question as a statement and so he continued.

"You will find a set of dossiers that identify individuals that will be useful assets for your team. I am assuming you wish to include Doctor Goto and Mr Vakarian?"

"I'll choose my own team Harper and my own crew and my condition about no Cerberus cheerleaders or uniforms still holds." She would negotiate if she had to so needed to start from a powerful position.

"I'm afraid that Doctor Lawson is not negotiable and I will expect her to act as you XO, as for the crew, we have spent some time recruiting for this mission but you will, of course, have final sign off on crew members.

Perhaps you should look through the dossiers you have and then decide, they are only suggestions but they all have unique experience or expertise that will enhance your team.

It only remains for you to meet your pilot and take charge of your new ship; I look forward to hearing of your progress." And with those final words the comms link when dark.

Shepard heard footsteps behind her and turned ready to be furious that Harper should presume to choose her pilot for her, but she immediately moved forward with a huge grin and placed her hands on the shoulders of a very wary looking Joker.

"Commander I'm so sorry I got you… killed… if you don't want…" Shepard cut across his nervous and very un-Joker like tone.

"Hell Joker you're the finest pilot I've ever seen, no one else I'd rather fly into a suicide mission with… they did tell you we will end up taking a trip through the Omega 4 relay," she beamed at him and some of his old self started to shine through.

"Well with my flying and your ability to cheat death Commander I figure the odds of it not being a suicide mission just got a little higher." He smiled and they began to walk up the stairs Joker taking them one at a time.

"So why did you leave the Alliance," she asked knowing what the answer was likely to be.

"Well after you… you know died… the survivors of the old crew all got re-assigned and they wouldn't let me fly, said I was a liability. So when I got approached by Cerberus I jumped at the chance to fly again when they told me you would be the Commander… and I only found out this morning… but this is our ship."

They had reached the top of the stairs and Joker switched the window to view mode, there sitting in the dock was an almost exact replica of the Normandy, it looked about twice the size, but still the same sleek lines.

"I guess all we need to do is name her," Joker was still looking at the ship as he spoke and Shepard was pleased to note that she had no markings on her silver bodywork except a black SR2 in a couple of places.

"Nothing else we could call her Joker, tell them to paint Normandy on her side and she will take revenge for her predecessors crew," Shepard's eyes blazed and realised she hadn't had time to begin to mourn the loss of her ship and so many of her crew, some of whom she counted as friends.

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Shepard was in her new cabin on the Normandy, where Miranda had obviously had all her replacement 'possession's' installed, including her collection of replica's, or models as Liara had teased her.

The thought of Liara burned her, she was not allowed to have any contact with her beautiful Asari as it was necessary for Liara to completely immerse herself in the therapy she was experiencing in the Temple.

Her eyes immediately found the three photographs on her desk, two of Liara and one of them both from their short holiday on Hasperos. They looked so carefree, happy and in love, Shepard felt the loss of Liara keenly.

Thinking about Hasperos and the Phosphorus system it was located within Shepard once again had a song come up in her mind. It was a favourite of hers and Liara's but there was a particular line in the song that seemed to nudge at something just below her conscious mind.

She played it on her audio system… the song had been on her mind since 'coming back' and her realisation of just how badly hurt Liara was.

Shepard remembered a conversation that had taken place in her old cabin on the SR1, Liara had said that when music bubbled to the surface it was sometimes our 'unconscious minds sending a message. Shepard had laughed and named it her internal DJ.

There was probably no surprise about this particular song as it spoke of wanting to 'fix you', but it was also that one particular line was haunting the edges of her mind and hearing the song now she was able to bring it into focus, '_stay if you want to and we'll disappear…'_

'_That's it… disappear… the Protheans always had a backup plan, but it relied too much on technology… and they didn't allow for the indoctrinated amongst them… we need a plan… I have to talk to Hackett… and Liara… I need to talk to Liara… get real Shepard you don't just want to talk to her._'

Shepard once again allowed her eyes to rest on the photos as she played the song over again this time letting the beat and the message roll through her mind.

Before the song had finished the buzzer on her cabin door sounded and Shepard shut off the music.

"Come in," Shepard stood up and waited for Miranda to enter the room.

"Commander I hope everything is to your liking? You'll see the uniforms are just plain black with no insignia at all. Are you ready to sign off on the crew selection?" Miranda sounded as if she was walking on egg shells and Shepard knew they needed to clear the air.

"Look Miranda you passed on intel that led Liara straight into a trap and as good as killed her, she's unlikely to recover and there's nothing I can do about that… but I need to know I can rely on you, and your Cerberus puppet master, on a few key issues.

One is bringing down the Shadow Broker, he had footage of us in that clinic on Illium and so knows about my son, I need you to make sure that the Broker doesn't know I'm looking for him but I am going to destroy his arse just for being too interested in my private life… do you understand?" Shepard noted that Miranda looked truly shocked at the revelation that the Broker knew about the clinic and the birth.

"Shepard you have to believe me when I say I had no intention of hurting Doctor T'Soni… is your son safe…" Shepard cut across her.

"Yeah he is, safe and sound hidden on Earth and we let the nurse from the clinic go before we moved him… and maybe I believe you about Liara… we have a connection Miranda but it doesn't mean I'm just going to trust you," Shepard didn't like what she was going to do but smoke and mirrors at this point was all she had.

"Look, we share a child, not in the usual sense but… you know… so let's try to get to know each other a little better… outside work… I need to know I can trust you," Shepard left her intention hanging between them.

"I… that would be… a useful way for us to have a more productive working relationship Commander, thank you," Shepard smiled.

"I've told you when we're off duty to call me Shepard. Look I've read through the files on the crew, they all seem fine, and very high number of ex-alliance and you know I won't have any Cerberus lackeys on my crew so I'll leave it to your judgment."

Miranda looked pleased and nodded before making to leave the room.

"As soon as they are all on board we leave for Omega, I've told Doctor Goto and Garrus Vakarian to join us there."

"Yes Commander," Miranda answered and Shepard's eyes followed her as she left the room.

'_Well it won't be a hardship flirting with her; she is easy on the eye… but remember what you mamma told you about playing with fire,'_ Shepard thought and then turned her attention back to reading the dossiers of her prospective team members.

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Shepard slipped back easily into her on ship routine, it fit her like a second skin, eating all her meals in the mess, spending time with every crew member and familiarising herself with all areas of the ship.

There were, as she had noted to Miranda, a fair number who were ex-alliance and who seemed to have signed up only because the mission was being run by Shepard. And the Cerberus members were of the 'wanting the best for humanity' ilk rather than 'all aliens are inferior and are only out to do humanity down'.

When Joker called her on the ship comms that they were about to drop out of the relay jump and into the Sahrabarik system Shepard was already on her way up to the cockpit to take her usual place standing between the pilot and co-pilot chairs.

The sight of the Omega station always thrilled her slightly; it was probably the most dangerous place in the galaxy, if you didn't know how to handle yourself and it was that edge that made her senses just that little bit sharper.

"Joker if we're ever confronted with any kind of ship dropping out of FTL in front of us in future you have my permission to jump us to a safe distance without waiting to find out who it is," Shepard said to Joker from where she was standing behind his seat, her arms crossed in a familiar pose.

"But mister the next time I order abandon ship I want you scrappy little arse to be one of the first hitting the seat in the nearest escape pod, do I make myself clear," she accompanied her words with a squeeze of his shoulder.

"No need to worry about either of those circumstances Commander, there's absolutely no way I'm losing another ship," and he hung his head a little and continued in a quieter voice, "or another Commander."

Shepard smiled to herself at the penitence of her usually flippant and back chatting Lieutenant, but as the ship drew closer to the station and Joker began talking to what passed for its docking control Shepard's mind moved to thinking about the meeting with Aria T'Loak and the recruitment of the first couple of members of her specialist team.

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Shepard and Garrus were sitting in a booth on the middle floor of the Afterlife club watching Miranda and Kasumi at the bar, the pirate queen of Omega hadn't been in the club when they arrived so Shepard had decided they should settle in and have a few drinks.

"You know Shepard, you have impeccable taste in women even when you're dead," Garrus's mandibles were twitching wildly and Shepard could hear the humour in his voice.

"What can I say… I'm irresistible even completely comatose… that's a real handicap for you Vakarian… never gonna pull with me around," Shepard was smiling at her friend as they settled into their usual round of banter.

"Well don't get too carried away… you haven't bedded her yet so I'm probably still in with a shot," Shepard turned and gave him a playful punch to the shoulder.

"Hey that's the mother of my child you're talking about… well sort of," they settled back down from their laughter as the two women approached the table carrying drinks.

"Want to let us in on the amusement," Kasumi asked her eyebrows raised as she sat next to Garrus while Miranda sat next to Shepard.

"Oh just catching up with Garrus's woeful performance with the females of any species… poor guy needs dating tips from me and I've been dead for the best part of two years," Shepard raised a glass to Garrus who raised his in salute and said.

"Touché, but this… competition is not over."

The group spent the next couple of hours relaxing and chatting, it was important for Shepard to study Miranda in an off duty relaxed setting, Shepard really needed to know if or how much she could trust Miranda, and she also wanted to know what Cerberus had hanging over the Doctor's head.

Aria T'Loak finally made an appearance and Shepard was summoned to join her, alone, on the balcony that Aria habitually occupied when she was in the club.

Shepard stepped inside the almost invisible privacy barrier and found herself looking at Aria's back.

"So tell me Shepard what was it like dying," Aria asked her still standing looking out over the crowded dance floor.

"You get the prize Aria… the only person so far to ask me that… if you want the honest answer I was angry… felt it wasn't fair it should happen just as I found someone that I loved… then it was painful and frightening... then nothing," Shepard knew she was going to have to fence with Aria but decided to move things along a little more quickly.

"Matriarch T'Joan suggested it might be… helpful if I came to Omega and talked to you," Shepard couldn't be sure but there may have been a slight tensing of shoulder… but it could have been her imagination.

"Really... and just what do you need from me this time Shepard," Aria had turned around to look her in the eyes while answering. Aria sat down in a familiar pose with her arms along the back of the long bench seats that encircled the space.

Shepard sat down and leaned back in her seat studying Aria in a way that the queen of Omega would find both irritating and disrespectful before long.

"You know Liara would probably have been dead at least three times over if she hadn't had a guardian angel providing protection for her," Shepard thought she saw T'Loak's eyes narrow slightly.

"What has this got to do with me, last time I checked babysitter wasn't on my list of job titles… from what I hear you were the one that… saved her last time… that is when you eventually got around to paying the supposed object of affection some attention."

Shepard got the barb but wasn't going to be deflected, "Yeah well my life got a bit complicated after being dead and then being brought back… but I met the instrument of her protection at the Broker base… she seemed familiar to me so I did some digging… seems she works out of Omega and quite often for you." Shepard left her statement hanging but Aria made no comment, she was now completely inscrutable.

"My concern is about the motives of anyone who is close enough to Liara both to protect her and… provide her with information that could also get her killed."

"Why don't you spit it out Shepard, you think I've been helping poor little lost Liara after her great hero got herself killed… why would I put myself to that trouble, that expense, unless of course you already have a theory," Aria's words were cold as was her stare, Shepard could almost feel something else but couldn't make any sense of whatever it was.

"I think there are very few people in the galaxy who could have pulled off that kind of protection and even fewer who would have the support and trust of someone as loyal to the T'Soni family as Matriarch T'Joan is. Why don't we stop shadow boxing Aria, you don't have to kiss and tell but I know your involved somehow, just so we're clear if you put Liara into any danger with the game your…." But Shepard's words were cut off as Aria jumped to her feet and with a biotic pulse from her hand lifted Shepard out of her seat and pinned her to the wall by her throat.

"Don't ever think you can threaten me Shepard and don't ever presume you know what my business is… I think you're the one who left Liara in danger and exposed and if it wasn't for the fact that we both know how attached she is to you I would be strongly advising you to keep well away from her," Aria dropped her hands to her side and Shepard crashed to the floor.

Shepard focused hard on not gasping for breath or coughing and as smoothly as possible got up off the floor and sat back down, looking across at Aria it was as if the shutters had come down and the previous display of anger was nowhere to be seen.

"If there wasn't something going on between you and Liara you wouldn't hesitate to have put out an airlock if I pissed you off as much as it seems I just did, but I'm not looking to piss you off… I need your help.

When Liara gets out of the Temple I want the problem with the Shadow Broker to have gone away and that will only happen if I kill him."

"I thought you wanted everyone to believe Liara was practically dead, not spending time at the local Temple, what happened to your carefully laid deceptions," Aria was once again relaxed and sitting back in her seat her usual commanding self.

"You seem to have a direct line inside the T'Soni inner circle so I won't insult you by pretending we don't both know that.

Someone gave Liara information that led her into that trap and it came via Cerberus, I will find out who it was but I can't trust that they will help me with my Broker problem, I have a mission to carry out for them and they won't want me distracted.

I'm looking but if you could help me I may have a chance to take him down sooner, we both know it isn't going to be easy tracking down his base." Shepard leaned forward as if to emphasize how important this was.

Aria looked as if she was considering what Shepard had said and when she answered her tone was neutral and controlled.

"I will provide you with any information that comes into my hands that relates to the Shadow Broker's base, on one condition, that you deal with the problem before Liara leaves the Temple… oh and it really wouldn't matter if the Shadow Brokers prisoner didn't make it out alive," when she finished speaking she touched her bracelet and Shepard felt the privacy barrier drop.

Shepard stood up and nodded to the queen of Omega and turned to go but before she left she turned to Aria and said, "I won't allow anyone to hurt Liara or put her in danger."

"Unless of course it's you Shepard and you have done both those things on too many occasions," Aria spoke without malice or coldness and if Shepard didn't think that it would be ridiculous she would have said there was an edge of sadness in the parting words from Omega's ice queen.

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Arai watched Shepard walk away; it was all she could do not to explode with anger. '_When the fuck did she become an empath… I doubt she knows yet or she would have actually controlled it… fuck… what the hell happened to her_…"

Aria was doubly frustrated, she had no eyes inside the Temple and no eyes inside Cerberus, but she had to find out how this human had developed a very Asari trait, which was even rare amongst the Asari themselves.

She had lost control and Aria never lost control, Shepard had come close without even knowing to uncovering the feelings that were so deeply hidden away inside Aria that sometimes she even forgot she had them.

'_I need to know and I need to be better prepared for the next time we meet… you won't catch me out again Shepard,_' as Aria finished that thought her second in command joined her and her mind was brought back to the business of running her empire.

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As Shepard walked down the stairs and began making her way back to the others at the table the music throbbed through her body and she felt a powerful urge to hit the dance floor.

'_What the hell is happening to you Shepard… your meant to be working and you want to go fucking dancing… you think you can sense what Aria is feeling… did you bang your head somewhere along the way and I missed it… fuckin concentrate on what you're doing.."_ Shepard's thoughts were laced with anger, Aria's parting shot had hit its mark, it was absolutely true and there wasn't a damn thing Shepard could do about it.

"Right you lot are we sober enough to go get our Professor?" Shepard asked when she got back to the table, meeting nods and an immediate shifting of bodies to standing positions she headed for the entrance.

When they hit the street Shepard realised how much she was looking forward to what was going to be quite a fight to get to the clinic that the Salarian Doctor Mordin Solus had set up deep inside the quarantine zone in one of the lower habitation rings.

"Ok we know there is a plague loose that seems not to affect human's but it's not stopping the Blue Suns and Blood Pack from fighting over territory, so we are likely to get caught in the crossfire and end up fighting both.

Sorry Garrus but I'm not prepared to risk you catching this plague so you stay put here." Shepard saw that he was about to argue and to cut him off she gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder and continued, "Look you're too valuable to me to lose you to some bug, suck it up soldier."

"Hum well I suppose… but I don't like it," Garrus's voice was quiet but Shepard could hear his concern.

Leaving Garrus at the barrier Shepard, Miranda and Kasumi entered the quarantined district guns at the ready.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Shepard and her team approached the two Turians who were standing guard at a barrier in front of the doors to the quarantined district.

"Can't you read," one of the Turians said as they both readied their assault rifles. Behind her she knew Kasumi and Miranda had brought their weapons to bear on the two guards but Shepard kept walking until she was toe to toe with the Turian who had spoken.

"In case you haven't worked it out we're all human and apparently the plague doesn't affect us and more importantly I need to get inside to talk to the Salarian who's running the clinic… so be good boys and move out of my way."

The Turian in front of her made to raise his weapon and in blur of fluid movement Shepard gave him a blow under his chin with the heel of her hand at the same time stepping to his side and kicking his legs out from under him.

When the movement had stopped the Turian was moaning on the ground and Shepard had his weapon in her hand pointing directly at the head of the second guard.

"Yeah well… don't think getting back out… will be easy…" the second Turian's words tailed off as Shepard shoved the confiscated rifle into his chest and began walking past.

Once inside the doors Shepard also drew her Mattock, set to incendiary ammo, and started walking down the corridor. As the end of the corridor drew near she could see it opened out into an open square with what looked like shop fronts on all sides, all deserted and showing heavy damage from weapons fire.

Their route further into the district appeared to be blocked by another barrier on the other side of the open space and a lone figure was sitting on some abandoned boxes. As they walked, weapons at the ready, across the space the stranger stood up.

"That is one tall woman and built almost as solidly as that sweet Jamie," Kasumi's voice was low but Shepard heard the smile, they were both aware that Kasumi had been much taken with the powerfully built but kind and gentle child carer.

Shepard stowed her rifle, quickened her pace and opened her arms to welcome the woman into a hug, "Natasha Irina Mikhailovich what dafaq are you doing here?"

They crashed together the sound of their armour echoing around the space, Shepard was on the tall side herself but she only measured up to Tasha's shoulder.

They broke the hug and stood a little apart.

"Well for one thing I've dealt with your little welcome parade," and as Shepard looked where Tasha was indicating she could see four very dead Blue Suns mercs.

"But how did you know…" Shepard began but Tasha's mellow voice cut across her question.

"Worst kept secret in the galaxy Elvee, where the great back from the dead hero of the Citadel is heading… although I have to say not sure why you want that cranky Salarian…" as she was speaking the tall blond haired human pulled out a cigar and lit it, the thick smoke immediately spiralling from its end.

"Shit you still got that lousy habit… look it's great to see you and we need a proper catch up but I have a job to do… unless you wanted to join me?" Shepard and Tasha were too busy talking to each other to catch the expressions cross Miranda's face but Kas saw them and then they were gone replaced by her usual inscrutable mask.

But Kasumi had seen, shock, fear and then what looked like confusion, something that Kas would never have associated with the accomplished and professional Doctor.

"Well I thought you could do with the company… gotta tell you Elvee it's pretty lonely being the black sheep of the family, you're gonna need some help with the transition…" before Shepard could answer they heard tell-tale sounds of movement and instinctively drew weapons and took up defensive positions.

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The slog to reach the clinic in the centre of the district had been hard, not only finding Blue Suns and Blood Pack but also looters, lost and frightened residents, and those dying from the plague.

They helped who they could, encouraging some to make their way to the clinic when it was safe to do so and helping others to secure their properties where it was safer for them to sit it out.

Shepard had been glad of the extra firepower that Tash provided and as an Alliance trained marine they fell easily into the almost unspoken teamwork that was the hallmark of a well drilled squad.

Miranda proved to be very useful and an excellent weapons master but was obviously much more used to giving orders and making tactical decisions, but Shepard thought that would work itself out and it might be handy to have another experienced squad leader she could rely on.

Kasumi's technical skill which included running attack and recon drones gave them the edge on more than one occasion in the rabbit warren of narrow streets that constituted large areas of the district.

Eventually they made it to the clinic entrance and were met by security guards backed up with mechs.

"Stow your weapons and don't cause any trouble inside the clinic or you'll answer to the mechs," one of the security guards said as they approached.

"You won't have any trouble from us, we're here to speak to the Prof," Shepard said as she and her team put their weapons away.

"You'll find him through the main reception area in one of the wards."

The clinic looked to be well organised but it was packed with people in various stages of sickness and distress. As Shepard walked through she also noticed a group of human's who although showing no signs of illness had sought out the clinic for sanctuary.

Shepard picked up a conversation coming from a ward to her left and as she entered the room, which must have once merely been a large storage area but now was packed with beds and medical equipment, she saw a tall Salarian standing at a medical station working a console while answering questions from his staff in the usual quick fire manner of his race.

"Professor we're running low on cipoxin," a young assistant standing at Mordin's back asked.

"Use malanarin. Plenty on hand. Almost as good. Causes cramping in Batarians. Supplement with butemerol." Mordin answered without stopping what he was doing.

"malanarin and butemerol, got it." As the assistant moved away Shepard walked up and stood a little distance from the Professor and listened to what was obviously his musings on the plague.

"Cenozine is the catalyst. Bonds to genetic markers. Hard to find. Expensive to mass produce. Why not heplacore?. Too unstable. Inconsistent results. Demozane much better option. No. Demozane toxic to humans. Not an option. Not an option."

"Professor Mordin Solus," Shepard decided to get the Professors attention. Solus turned towards Shepard and activated his OT and ran a quick scan.

"Hmm don't recognise you from the area. Too well-armed to be refugees. No mercenary uniforms. Quarantine still in effect." As he finished speaking he turned and moved to another console saying.

"Here for something else. Vorcha?. Crew to clean them out? Unlikely. Vorcha symptom, not a cause." Mordin moved again this time to walk back and forth in front of Shepard and continued, "The plague? Investigating possible use as bio-weapon? No not enough data equipment. No. No. Too many guns. Soldiers not scientists.

Hired guns, maybe? Looking for someone? Yes! But who? Someone important. Valuable. Someone with secrets. Someone like me." The Professor now turned to face Shepard square on.

Shepard had been fascinated by the Professor and could almost feel his frenetic energy and also a strong impression that he could take care of himself.

"Relax Professor, My name is Commander Shepard and I'm here to ask for your help," Shepard relaxed into a familiar pose, leaning back on one leg and arms crossed.

"The Commander Shepard. But you were reported killed. Deception very good. Must have been a well-controlled cover up."

"No Professor, unlikely as it may seem I did… kind of die… Have you heard of an organisation called Cerberus?" She decided to press on and try to keep the Professor focussed on her request.

"Human centric organisation. Plague does not affect humans. I am too busy. Plague out of control. Too much to do." Shepard was a little surprised that Solus had heard of Cerberus but was pleased she had decided to be open about who was bank rolling her mission.

"It's a critical mission Professor; I'm going to take down the Collectors." As Shepard said Collectors the Professor stopped in his tracks and looked as if he was deep in thought as he spoke.

"Collectors? Interesting. Plague hitting these slums is engineered. Collectors one of few groups with technology to design in. Our goals may be similar." Shepard felt as if she was finally getting somewhere but the fact that the plague had been engineered needed to be thought about when they got back to the Normandy. Then the Professor was speaking again.

"But must stop plague first. Already have a cure. Need to start distributing it at environmental control centre. Vorcha guarding it. Need to kill them."

"We can take care of that Professor," as Shepard spoke a clanking and hissing sound came from the overhead vents that provided air circulation and cleaning.

"What the fuck was that," Tasha's asked the question on Shepard's lips.

"Vorcha have shut down environmental systems. Trying to kill everyone. Must get power back on before everyone in district suffocates. Also. Daniel, my assistant. Went into Vorcha territory. Looking for victims. Hasn't come back." It was an unspoken request.

"We'll do our best to find him." Shepard took the plague cure from the Professor and walked towards the exit of the clinic her team in tow.

They had only moved up one staircase and reached the entrance to another wide open 'square' before confronting a group of Blood Pack mercs. Shepard couldn't find any way around them, and in any case if they didn't fight them on the way to the environmental controls they would probably have to fight them on their way back.

"On my mark, Tash with Miranda left flank, Kas your with me, we'll take cover at that first barrier and hit them from there." Shepard got nods from her squad they slipped into the area only being spotted at the very last moment before Shepard and Kas hit cover.

The enemy they were facing were mainly Vorcha, some with flamethrowers with three Krogan battle masters. Shepard and Kas ripped into the troopers with assault rifles set with incendiary ammo. Shepard also had her shotgun ready set with disruptor ammo and swapped quickly between the two particularly when the Krogan's began to move forward.

Within half a minute a firestorm dropped in from cover on the left of the room, Tash and Miranda had managed to move quickly to out flank the mercs who found themselves without cover from this onslaught.

Shepard indicated to Kas to stay put and set up a couple of defensive drones while she took advantage of the shock of the other half of her team jumping into the fight, and she moved quickly to the right side of the room there was practically no cover but she only needed to get to the pillar fifteen feet away.

She was working forward to try to get the drop on the remaining two Krogan's when a door to her right a little way in front opened and another Krogan entered the fight. Shepard had no cover and knew that the worse thing she could do was retreat, she only had the element of surprise.

Shepard already had her shotgun in hand and moving forward swiftly she rammed the weapon into the side of the Krogan and got off two shots before being thrown ten feet through the air with a sweep of the furious Krogan's arm.

Smashing into a wall it was actually the result Shepard wanted, she had put distance between her and the now wounded Krogan more quickly than she could have under her own steam.

She had held onto her shotgun but reached for a frag grenade and before she had even finished hitting the ground had thrown it through the air at the now charging Krogan. She followed it up with another shot as she scrambled to her feet only to roll to her left to gain a little more distance springing to her feet in time to see the Krogan stagger under the impact of the grenade.

Another two blasts from her shot gun as she now started walking back towards the heavily injured battlemaster who had lost his weapons and had slumped to his knees. A final blast from her shotgun straight into his face put him on his back; she continued walking and stepped over the Krogan's body.

The rest of the fighting seemed to be dying away and after a few more seconds the space fell silent. She looked back and saw Kas begin to move forward and her two other squad mates moved out from behind cover.

"Well that was fun… nice work with that Krogan Elvee you still got the touch," Tash grinned at Shepard and slapped her on the back as they began moving again towards the environmental control station.

Although the Vorcha didn't create their own technology once they had acquired it they used it as well as any of the other species. As they got closer to the control centre Shepard and the squad needed Kas to override the now very securely locked down doors between entire sub-districts.

Thankfully they didn't encounter another large group of mercs, but were kept on their toes, and busy with smaller groups of Blue Sun and Blood Pack who had been separated from larger more organised groups and were merely fighting to survive.

Finally within striking distance of the control centre they hear voices drifting towards them from a corridor off to the right. Shepard signalled to Kas and Miranda to stay put while she and Tash moved towards the open door to one of the apartments.

"No, you have to believe me… I… I… work with Professor Solus at the clinic… please…" the voice was young and very frightened and sounded human.

"You are spreading the plague; it's here in your bag human do you think we're stupid," the second voice was deeper, almost a growl and almost definitely belonging to a Batarian.

"Maybe we should cut off his fingers then he would talk," another Batarian voice who finished his words with a laugh.

"No please believe me, those are the cure… I came to help..."

Shepard indicated to Tash they would move into the room and get the drop on whoever was inside… on three they moved swiftly in and split to left and right.

"Look out..." one of the Batarians shouted and Shepard could see there were four altogether, the one who was closest to the frightened young medic put his pistol to the side of the human's head.

Shepard held her weapons pointing at the Batarian who was covering the medic and said.

"Look I get that you're scared of the plague and the Vorcha but this guy isn't your enemy, he really does have the cure, let him go and you can all walk. If you start shooting you all die, don't doubt me, you will be first." Shepard's voice was steady and she knew that Tash had already worked out the order of shots to take if necessary.

"Oh please… don't let me die… please," the young medic looked as if he was going to drop to his knees with fear.

"How do I know I can trust you human?" the Batarian seemed to be the leader of the group and was matching her stare.

"I'm trying to get the cure to the environment control station my fight isn't with you Batarian, but I won't let you kill an innocent bystander whose only crime is to be stupid and naïve," Shepard finished and continued to keep her eyes locked with the Bararian watching for any shift that would tell her he was going to fire.

He moved his gun and then dropped his hand to his side the other Batarians followed suit, but before anyone could say anything else a roar of weapons fire rebounded around the room and Shepard had no choice but to shoot the Batarian she had been talking to as his weapon came back up to shoot.

Once Shepard was sure her shot was good she looked around the rest of the room and saw three other dead Batarians on the floor. Daniel the medic fell to his knees she thought he might actually be sobbing.

"What the fuck did you do that for," Shepard turned and walked straight up to Tash who was now leaning against a wall with her weapon held in both hands across her stomach.

"You weren't really going to let them walk out… Elvee where the fuck do you think you are… you're on your own now… no Alliance to back you up or look over your shoulder," Tash's voice was steady and she spoke in a matter of fact way, almost as if explaining something really simple to someone who should already know what she was talking about.

"They would have walked away, there was no need and what if you hadn't been quick enough to finish them or I hesitated… that could have gone so fucking wrong…" Shepard was interrupted by Kas and Miranda coming into the room.

"I had it Elvee, I'd never leave your arse hanging out… look they knew we had the drop on them, much more sensible to leave and ambush us when we left… come on you're not going to lose sleep over Batarians." And with that she stood up straight and ambled out of the room.

"What the hell happened Shepard," Miranda asked concern edging her tone.

Kas had moved to help Daniel to his feet and the young medic seemed a little more in control of himself.

"Nothing it's all fine. Daniel you need to head back to the clinic Solus needs you and your going to get yourself killed if you wander around out here," Shepard spoke with as much kindness as she could muster but the medic had brought the situation on himself and she needed to move on to complete the mission.

"You killed them… they surrendered and you killed them… that's not right… your murderers," he was babbling but was looking past her to the dead bodies.

"Hey you little fuckwit… we just put our lives on the line to save your stupid arse… we did what we had to do now get the fuck out of my eye line you ungrateful little shit," Shepard's voice was harsh and her tone hard, the young medic was on the receiving end of the anger she felt at the situation, which was tainted by her memories of Torfan.

The medic gathered his bag and rushed from the room, Shepard noticed Kas eyeing her with a surprised expression, the outburst was not like the Commander and Shepard felt ashamed of how she had spoken to Daniel.

"Let's move out," Shepard would apologise to him when they got back to the clinic and she would also have a very robust talk to Tash about following orders and not being a hothead, if indeed Tash wanted to be a member of the squad.

They made it to the main entrance to the environmental control centre with little further incident. Kas hacked the door and they moved cautiously into the large open area and at the further end of the room they could see a large group of Vorcha.

One of the group moved forward and shouted across the room.

"You no come here; we shut down machines, break fans."

Shepard noticed that the main room had gallery's running along the length of the room on the left and right, she was sure she saw movement. The main controls were at the end of the room directly in front of them, behind the group of Vorcha.

"Everyone choke and die, then Collectors make us strong."

Shepard began to move forward closer to her chosen cover and knew her squad was doing the same.

"Why are you doing this," she shouted just to give a few more moments to get her squad set up.

"Collectors want plague. You work for Doctor, turn machines on. Put cure in air. We kill you first."

"Now," Shepard called through her suit comms and all four hit cover and began to take down the group of Vorcha in front of them.

As Shepard had expected the gallery's had Vorcha rocket troopers on and were a priority to be taken out.

"Miranda, can you use your biotics to lift or slam those guys up top, Tash concentrate on them with you sniper. Kas you and I will keep the ground guys occupied." With targets carved up between the squad they all set to their duties.

Tash needed a better angle so worked further around to the left and she and Miranda targeted the right hand balcony. When that one was clear they re-oriented their attention to the left hand balcony.

At the same time Shepard and Kasumi had finished off the ground troops and Shepard decided to make a run for the main controls while Tash and Miranda took out the remaining resistance.

Once Shepard had put the cure into the distribution system they had to turn on the fan systems located in two separate machinery rooms. They encountered more resistance but worked effectively as a team and once the two fan units were back on and the plague cure had started to circulate the Vorcha resistance faded away.

It was an easier journey back to the clinic but not without some skirmishing with Blood Pack mercs but they were either quickly dispatched or they retreated out of the fight.

Finally back at the clinic Shepard found Professor Solus with his assistant Daniel.

"Environmental systems engaged. Airborne viral levels dropping. Patients improving. Vorcha retreating. Well done. Thank you Shepard." Mordin spoke once again with his clipped, fast delivery but Shepard detected a little less frenetic activity in his demeanour.

"Professor, how can you thank these monsters, they butchered those Batarians in cold blood." As Daniel spoke his voice was edged with anger and distaste.

It hadn't been Shepard's decision to kill the Batarians but anything that happened when she was in charge was her responsibility and she always stood by her troops, even if in private she gave them a dressing down.

"Hell we saved your life, saved the whole damned district come to that and you're judging me." Shepard really didn't want to take this much further and only hoped that it hadn't screwed her chances of recruiting Solus to her mission.

"Shepard's right Batarians tortured you, would have killed you, she was right to kill them." Shepard was surprised at the Professors reaction but then remembered he had served in the Salarian special forces and had a bit of a reputation for being able to take care of himself.

"But we are here to help, to heal people…" Daniel was cut off by the Professor again.

"Sometimes you can only help people by killing what is threatening them, sometimes there is no cure Daniel. Now give me a moment with Shepard and then we will talk."

Mordin Solus watched Daniel leave the room and turned to Shepard, "he is idealistic but a good Doctor and is more than capable of running the clinic. I will need a day to make arrangements but then I can join you. If that is acceptable."

"No problem Professor, this time tomorrow we'll be expecting you on the Normandy," Shepard offered her hand to Mordin Solus who took it, and they sealed their agreement with a handshake.

When they had made it back out of the district and met up with Garrus, Shepard turned to the group and said.

"Tash and I need to do some catching up, why don't you three make your way back to the Normandy, I'll be a couple of hours." Shepard received nods and a very wary look from Garrus who had no idea who the stranger was.

"Drink?" Tash asked fully expecting the answer to be yes.

"Lead the way… so long as it's… aw hell Tash does it have to be Afterlife…" but despite her reservations she fell into step besides Tash and they both made their way to the club.

They compromised and found a table in the lower bar which was much quieter and had a more intimate feel. Then when they finally sat down with drinks in hand Shepard asked the question that had been on her mind for years.

"So why the hell did you just disappear, no contact, I can understand not wanting anything to do with your father… but you were my best friend not just my cousin," Shepard could hear in her own voice the years old hurt that still rankled all this time on.

"Aw Elvee… if you're going to be the black sheep, well got to do it properly," Tash looked uncomfortable for a moment and then continued, "I messed up big time, and I didn't want to bring any of that mess to your door. You still had your career in the Alliance; I had to take a different path."

"Not good enough Tash, you know I wouldn't, didn't, judge you… I know how much being in the Alliance meant to you, it was all you ever wanted, we both had the same plans… was there no way back for you?" Shepard realised she was in a similar position now, cut loose from the support and structure of her Alliance career, she hated it.

"Nah… and you know I've had a blast… had more action than most grunts in the Alliance, present company accepted, and being a merc has its upside… lots of credits, choose what I do, lots of women," Tash laughed and downed her drink and moved quickly to the bar to get them refills.

Shepard sensed, felt, that Tash was holding back, there was truth in her words but not the whole truth… '_there you go again Shepard… you can't feel when someone is lying and you sure as hell can't sense what they might be feeling… fuck just because you came back from the dead you don't get super hero powers… instincts and intuition is what you need to rely on… tried and tested_,' Shepard's train of thought was interrupted by Tash's return to the table with another round of drinks.

"So what do you fancy, upstairs in a minute, couple of Asari dancers… I have a place not far from here, we could have a private party," Tash smiled and downed another drink.

"Not for me… I'm kind of in a thing… but I have to get back to the ship and make sure we're the lab is ready for the Prof." Shepard realised she wasn't going to get a chance to talk about Tash's behaviour on the mission but needed to say something, "look Tash I don't know if you want to join me on the mission, its pretty dangerous, some would say a one way ticket… but if you do then you need to be able to take orders from me and not be a loose cannon."

Tash sat up straight and looked serious, "fuck Elvee you've got to let me come with you, it would be good to fight on the right side for a change… I'll do whatever you ask… honest," on her last word the cheeky, don't give a damn smile and expression reappeared on Tash's face but Shepard had the assurance she needed.

"Ok, then I'll see you ready to ship out on the Normandy first thing," Shepard made to leave but Tash held up a hand.

"Whoa you don't think I'm going to let 'I'm in a thing' pass without comment huh… so the rumour I heard is true," Tash smiled at Shepard's blank look, "I may spend most of my time in the Terminus systems but we do get news here, the new year's dance on Arcturus… when you and my arse hole of a father had a go at you… the Asari?"

"Yeah but it's complicated, she's..." Shepard had a strong urge, need, to be able to talk to someone who she could trust and who would understand about her relationship with Liara… Tash had known her better than anyone else when they were growing up, but something held her back, "well we may not get back together she's ill… but I'm not interested in anything else right now."

"Well that's a big surprise, you know you were the queen of casual, no strings, and a bigger flirt than I was… which is saying something… so you got hooked huh… hope she's worth it… lot of lovely women willing to do anything they can to lighten the load for the hero of the Citadel," again Tash lapsed into laughter.

"Yeah well, not for me, not right now anyway… so see you in the morning… no excuses, bring your hangover with you," Shepard smiled and stood up, Tash stood and pulled Shepard into a hug.

"Good to see you cuz, thanks for letting me tag along," Tash stepped back picked up her drinks and headed for the main dance floor bar with a wave of her hand. Shepard headed for the exit and outside to the docking bay.

As she was crossing the street a voice, a familiar Salarian voice, called her name and as she stopped she saw a figure running towards her.

"Commander, I thought it was you, I heard you were on Omega, heard of your return, really unbelievable, yet not, as here you are," Ish ran out of breath and was shaking Shepard's hand continuously as he spoke.

"Ish it's good to see you, I heard you made it off the Normandy, what the hell are you doing here," she was really pleased to see the young Salarian who had been a very handy member of her science and tech team on the old Normandy.

"Oh a little of this a little of that, nothing I am proud of, would you still have a place for me Commander, I would be happy to sign on doing anything you needed," Ish's eyes were shining with expectation and she could hear the excitement in his voice.

"Of course I could really do with your help, but Ish, this is a different mission altogether. I am not with the Alliance any more, may not even be a Spectre, and if all things go to plan we are headed on what many would say was a suicide mission." She didn't want any of her crew or squad to have any illusions about the mission.

"So be it, but I have every confidence that if anyone can pull through against such odds it is the great Commander Shepard," Ish finally stopped shaking her hand and appeared flushed with happiness.

"Well I don't know about that Ish, but if you're ok with the mission parameters join us on the Normandy by tomorrow midday at the latest," Shepard smiled and he nodded and rushed away, she had the feeling they may well see him on board the Normandy even before the morning.

As Shepard stood behind Joker and Malania (who had joined them when they docked on Omega) and gave the order to leave the space station and set course for the Citadel her crew compliment had increased by four.

Malania would serve as co-pilot, shuttle pilot and co-navigator; Tash who would join Shepard's fire team as a squad member; Mordin Solus who had already started work studying the Collectors and their swarm attack techniques in the lab; and Ish who had taken up residence in what would become the research and tech lab under the leadership of Kasumi.

Shepard needed to find out if she could expect any support or help from the Council and if they would re-instate her as a Spectre. Then she needed to begin to put all the pieces together and start hunting down the Collectors.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N I have often thought that given the Asari live so long and have such an advanced civilisation that they like to discuss and debate and also have a strong spiritual element to their society, that it was a shame the words I ended up having to use around parenting were so limited.

So please forgive me but I went searching for some words from ancient Earth languages (starting with Sanskrit) to fill the gap… in the end after much muttering I ended up borrowing from Tibetan Buddhism. I'm happy to PM the descriptions of the ones I choose, as I hope they do a fair job of representing the three different roles.

After much agonising I shortened them to make them easier to read, please forgive me my Buddhist brothers and sisters, so here are my offerings for the ceremonial terms around parenting.

Ratnasambhava: (Ratnasam) Asari birth parent (essentially the 'mother')

Chakrasamvara: (Chakrasam) Bond mate or partner who will be called upon to be a co-parent (essentially the 'father')

Guhyasamaja: (Guhyasam) DNA donor who is not in a relationship and will not be called upon to be a co-parent

I also used, and will continue to use, the term 'mother' as the Asari language will undoubtedly have evolved into a more 'common' day to day usage, as our own language has.

Anyway on with the story… thank you for your continued company on the journey… please do give me feedback which I am happy to receive via PM if that feels more appropriate than a straight review… which I am also very happy to receive.

Chapter 31

On Omega the day after the Normandy left for the Citadel – Aria's office

Aria looked up from her desk and the data pad she was reading as she heard the door to her office open. There was only one person who had the code and would not need to ask for entry.

"Welcome back Liselle," Aria smiled, a real smile, warm, one that not very many people had ever seen, she also got up from behind her desk and met the young Asari with a hug.

"Careful Mother or I'll begin to think you missed me," Liselle was smiling and her voice held a mischievous tone.

They parted and Liselle made herself comfortable on the long sofa while Aria settled herself into an arm chair.

"Now you know as well as I do how important your safety is to me and that means no one knows that you are my daughter, you haven't gone soft and told your new plaything have you?" Aria reached for a glass and poured herself a drink.

"No certainly not," Liselle sounded indignant at the jibe, "I don't expect to see much of her from here on, she's joined up with your Commander Shepard to hunt down the Collectors," Liselle smirked noticing that she was about to get a reaction from the usually implacable Pirate Queen.

"Look I've told you before Shepard is just useful, that is not the reason I've had you watching over Liara T'Soni. How are the arrangements, I'm assuming she is well protected at the Temple?" Aria responded to a non-verbal request from her daughter for a drink and passed her a glass of the Asari wine she had also poured for herself.

"Yes it's as you expected they have really tightened security and pulled in a couple of Matriarchs who are 'on sabbatical' but they are just extra muscle. And the deception at the estate looks fine from the outside. Shepard might just pull it off, but that depends on how long T'Soni needs to be in the Temple." Liselle sat up a little straighter, took a drink from her wine, and looked her Mother straight in the eyes.

"I think that I've been very patient not pressing you on your sudden concern for T'Soni's safety, but isn't it about time you let me in on whatever deal you have going," Liselle had never known her Mother do anything that didn't have a payoff and the young Asari just couldn't work out the angle.

"Yes Liselle you've been very patient considering it is and will continue to be none of your business. I may not need to be involved further now Shepard is back and Liara is doing what is necessary to get herself sorted out." Aria appraised her daughter and knew they were very, very much alike, so Aria knew Liselle wouldn't let it go until she found something out that would sate her curiosity.

Aria gave a huge sigh of frustration and sat back in the arm chair, "I will tell you this much and that will be an end to the matter. I was, many centuries ago, a close friend of Benezia T'Soni and we always kept in touch, loosely. Benezia asked my advice about a potential Guhyasam, she had no other offspring, this was her one child.

Lady Benezia did not leave anything to chance and she also believed, as I do, that there is no shame or disgrace in pureblood unions. I gave her my word that the issue would be kept secret and I have only partially broken it with you." Aria knew that Liselle will have carried out research into any connection between Aria and the T'Soni family and waited for the inevitable question.

"But didn't Benezia have a bondmate, or at least an Asari she had been with for years, she had a potential Chakrasam… am I missing something," Liselle looked puzzled, she knew her Mother would not have lied but if Benezia had a partner who could be both donor and parent why would she be thinking about finding donor who would not, then, be a parent.

"They were not bond mates and I assume she was considering not using Aethyta as her birth donor. I have no intention of discussing this further Liselle." Aria's voice and her eyes told Liselle that she had pushed as far as she would be allowed.

"Why did you never take a bond mate, you must have had plenty of offers, and potentially more children, you only ever own up to having the three of us… and what about those you…" Aria stood up and began walking back behind her desk as she cut across her daughter's words.

"This is a conversation we have had before Liselle and I'm not in the mood today, if you have nothing better to do I have a job for you." Aria's voice was firm but not cold, Liselle was the only one of her daughters who seemed to be completely indifferent to Aria's position and reputation in private, and it was refreshing and annoying in equal measure.

"Ok I had a good run you really are a fine example of a Ratnasam," Liselle used the formal title rather than the more familiar Mother as she knew it irked Aria almost as much as the title Matriarch. "What do you need me to do," she finished as she stood up and moved to the other side of her Mother's desk.

"We have a new human working for us Paul something, he seems capable, but Sanak doesn't trust him. I don't know how much it's the usual Human Batarian bad feeling or if there is a problem, look into it for me." Aria was already shuffling through the data pads on her desk but looked up to return her daughters smile and watched her leave.

'_Secrets… always secrets… I don't even remember a time when I was truly honest with myself_,' Aria was pulled back from her thoughts with a holo call regarding a very lucrative business deal she was working on.

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On the Normandy a day after leaving Omega heading for the Citadel – Miranda Lawson's quarters

"Come in," Miranda called out from behind her desk as the door buzzer sounded. Looking up she immediately tensed as Tasha Mikhailovich walked into her office and sat down in a chair facing her.

"Hello Doctor Lawson," Tash leaned back in the chair and studied Miranda closely.

"What the hell are you doing here," Miranda was desperately trying to regain control of herself she didn't like being caught off guard but this damned woman seemed to do it every time they met.

"Oh don't be like that, you didn't think that just because our first little plan failed the Illusive Man would just leave it all to you," Tash leaned forward with her elbows on the edge of the desk, chin resting on her hands, "there is a concern that you may have gone a little… soft on the Commander and even though I have my own particular job do to I am also here to help you keep your focus." She sat back in the chair keeping her eyes locked with Miranda's

"I don't need any help, I'm trying to gain the woman's trust I can't do that if I'm also trying to convince her Cerberus doesn't carry out monstrous actions. She's not a fool and her hatred of this organisation is both long standing and personal." Miranda finished speaking and crossed her arms over her chest.

"This organisation Miranda, not our or my… interesting, just remember how much Cerberus has done and continues to do for your sister, I made a special trip before I joined you on Omega, she looks very happy." Tash smiled at Miranda's obvious bristling and then continued.

"Look I'm here to help not get in your way, as I said I have my own stuff to do, you get cosy with my dear cousin but remember which side of the line it's safe to be on." Tash stood to leave.

"What's your mission anyway, if it has anything to do with the Collectors I need to know?" Miranda had never been in this position before; she had always been the Illusive Man's trusted right hand on any project or mission he had tasked her with.

"Well it's on a need to know basis Miranda and I guess the Illusive Man doesn't think you need to know," the tall human gave Miranda a smile that was stone cold, as she reached the door she turned and continued, "although one thing I can tell you is that I will succeed in killing her Asari bitch where you singularly failed."

Miranda jumped up from behind the desk and spoke with evident passion.

"For one I didn't know that was the intention of the information so perhaps it would have gone better if I had been told and more importantly if Cerberus kills T'Soni you will never get Shepard on side… you do realise she loves her," Miranda spoke in exasperation and frustration but she also felt something else that she would need to think about in a safer space.

"Oh Miranda give me some credit… killing the Asari will drive Shepard further into our arms if it's done right… and I haven't decided who to set up as the fall guy yet but it will be either the Alliance or the Batarians," with that Tash opened the door and left.

Miranda forced herself to behave normally, painfully aware that the Normandy was being monitored not just for vid footage but also for sound, she moved to get herself a hot drink, picked up a data pad and went to sit in one of the comfortable chairs she had around a low table.

Making a good show of reading the data pad her mind was much further away. She couldn't work out what she had done to disappoint the Illusive Man or what given him such doubts about her loyalty.

It was a very dangerous place to be, she was useful of course, indeed her knowledge and skill set was unique and invaluable for certain projects, but the Illusive Man would not think twice if he thought she was a threat to him or Cerberus.

But something had awoken in her, something she had kept buried under an avalanche of self-protection and protection for her sister. It was no good trying to work out when or what had happened to create the cracks, carrying a child, getting to know Shepard as well as she had, something about the bloody woman herself, but Miranda couldn't hide any longer from what Cerberus was and what it did.

She would have to be very, very, careful and for the first time in her life she didn't have a plan… '_I have to get Oriana to safety away from Cerberus and then I can bloody think, then I can decide whose side I'm on_…'

Miranda continued to think, allowing her mind to formulate a plan that needed to fool and thwart one of the most powerful and dangerous forces in the galaxy.

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Shepard's cabin a day after leaving Omega

The music was on low, female voice and piano, bluesy jazz, it suited her mood. A lot of the songs spoke of lost chances, broken hearts, loss, which certainly spoke to how she was feeling.

Shepard had spent a lot of time with Kasumi, Ish and the other comms research team pouring over the millions of pieces of intelligence trying to look for patterns, signs, not just of direct Reaper or Collector actions, but that indirect activity that she was convinced was being carried out by indoctrinated followers.

She also had to put out a fire between Joker and the Normandy AI. When Shepard first found out Edi was an AI rather than a VI she was concerned, as Shepard had fought artificial intelligence in the form of the Geth and wasn't a big fan but her primary issue was about how much control Edi had of her ship.

A thorough check of the locks and boundaries of her programming that Cerberus had put in place ensured that direct control of the Normandy remained in Shepard's own hands allaying most of her worries.

Edi had also been as 'honest' as she could about the locked parts of her programming and in the end Shepard was pleased with the functionality the AI could bring particularly to weapons systems.

Shepard knew she needed every edge she could get when she finally faced the Collectors.

Now at the end of a very long thirty six hours without stopping Shepard put the data pads to one side and laid on top of her bed looking up at the black and the waves of colour dancing along the hull caused by the FTL speed, like the mini rainbow that sometimes plays around the bow of a ship amongst the spray.

"I miss you Liara… I need you babe… try to find your way back to me…" Shepard spoke the thought quietly out loud and felt a single tear travel slowly down her cheek.

"Edi if I do sleep wake me in three hours please," she said to the ever present watching, listening AI.

"Yes Shepard," Edi's voice was warm and comforting, Shepard thought for a second that was probably exactly the effect its creators were going for.

She closed her eyes and reached for a memory that always settled and calmed her, on their holiday, laying outside looking up at the stars, side by side, Shepard could almost feel Liara's hand in hers.

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In the Temple gardens, T'Soni estate, Thessia, a day after the Normandy left Omega

Liara T'Soni had let go of any attempt to hold in all the emotions that coursed through her mind and body and was now in the storm that she had been trying to hold back; uncontrollable, unfocussed and powerfully destructive.

The priestesses were not far away and were holding her in a light meld, but Liara had to go through the fire herself, she needed to both control it and be tempered by it. There was no option, she would survive or it would destroy her completely.

In Liara's mind there was only the vast emptiness of time and space, pain, sorrow, anger, rage… every negative, destructive emotion she had ever felt or would feel, unbidden, unwanted, but constantly present.

Yet somewhere, either on the very edge of this universe of blackness or at its very core, she couldn't tell… a whisper, a soft, almost imperceptible breath within the hurricane force winds that ripped through her… something… an anchor that kept her from being torn into the void… she knew it but had no idea what it was… the one small flickering candle of light in the deepest, solid, black of the space contained in her mind.

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As the Normandy completed her docking at the Citadel Shepard was standing in her usual place in the cockpit.

"So are you two gonna play nice," she said with a smile in her voice aiming her remark at Joker.

"So long as that creepy talking computer knows who's in charge Commander, I fly the Normandy and I don't need her help," Joker had been bitching about the ships AI on and off since the first day they had taken the Normandy into the black after leaving the Cerberus station.

"Edi would it be fair to say that you are integral to the Normandy, in effect you are the Normandy?" Shepard had formulated a bit of a plan about this situation, she had to get Joker to work with the AI and not try to sabotage it.

"Yes Commander, I exist in every part of the ship." Edi's voice her usual calm and warm tones filling the cockpit.

"So Joker, you always talked to the Normandy now she can answer back… see it as a win, win… get to know each other… chat… but Joker," and Shepard waited for Joker to look at her and then continued, "enough of the bitching and moaning, if the AI is the price we pay to have another Normandy so be it."

She received a nod from Joker who still seemed sullen but knew better than to argue once Shepard gave him a direct order.

"And Edi, lighten up on the protocol stuff, Joker is the best damn pilot in the galaxy, sometimes a bit of intuition is better than the math… learn from each other," Shepard noticed Joker smile and this time he gave her a more willing nod.

"Of course Commander," was Edi's response.

'Well if anyone needs me I'll be kissing arse on the Citadel," Shepard left the bridge and headed for the main airlock but Joker shouted after her.

"Yeah well remember Commander; keep your friends close but your enemies closer."

Shepard didn't think she could get any closer to one of her enemies, well there was one, but sleeping with them was out of the question, she was a one Asari woman whether they were together or not.

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Shepard stood in Councillor Anderson's ante office waiting for his secretary to tell her she could go in. Standing at ease, hands behind her back and looking out one of the large windows across the Citadel she knew her part and hoped she could play it well enough.

"You can go in now," without looking at the women who spoke from behind her desk Shepard walked across and without knocking entered the Councillors office.

He was not alone; Udina his advisor was in the room as well as an Alliance Admiral who she didn't recognise.

"This is a courtesy call Councillor before I meet with the whole Council," she said pre-empting anything that Anderson or anyone else was going to say.

"You are still an Alliance officer and you will do what you are ordered to do," the Admiral was standing with Udina off to the left of Anderson's desk with the Councillor himself sitting behind it.

"No Admiral your ability to give me orders ended when I died and the Alliance allowed the Collectors to get their hands on my body… only stopped by the actions of those I call friend." She was genuinely angry, the Alliance giving up trying to find her body had truly hurt and the memory still made her angry.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Shepard," Anderson cut in as Udina was about to jump in, "you know the Alliance is very concerned about where you have been for the last two years and why you now work for Cerberus. You must accept it all looks rather suspect." Anderson's tone was measured but harder than she had ever heard him speak to her before.

Even knowing it was an act it still cut her deeply, so she responded with coldness in order to hide her feelings.

"Let's cut the crap here, I died, someone else found me and Cerberus decided I was useful enough to humanity to bring me back… and I don't work for them, I am working with them to end the Collector threat… which is something you fat heads should be doing instead of hiding your heads up your arse… too much politics in the Alliance these days… you'll regret it when the Reapers return."

"Oh yes your little fantasy about sentient machines returning to kill us all, you obviously got a taste for being a celebrity Shepard, you need to keep your own myth going. I'm pleased you've been exposed as the fantasist and traitor that I always saw you as as." The venom in Udina's voice was almost palpable in the room and the Alliance Admiral nodded in agreement, Shepard saw Anderson was starting to let his mask slip so she took action quickly.

"Well I'll leave you to your Shepard appreciation society, I have to say I'm ashamed of you Anderson, never thought being a politician would corrupt you so much so quickly… as for the Alliance it can go whistle… it wasn't there for me and if I have to I'll take the Collectors down on my own." She turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

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With a little over an hour before she was due to meet with the whole Council Shepard walked down to a particular spot on the Presidium where she had stood before with Liara and tried to connect with that feeling but it was hard, everything was hard and out of place, she didn't like deceit and lies and yet here she was driving one and with precious few people she could talk to about it.

"Gave you a hard time, bastards," Tash's voice broke into Shepard's thought and she turned to see her cousin who gave her a brief one armed hug, then joined her leaning on the railings and also looked out across the Presidium lake.

"You look like you've got a lot on your mind Elvee, you know if there's anything I can do to help I'm here for you. How's that Asari of yours?"

"I wish I knew," Shepard said and had to stop herself from sharing the whole situation with Tash, it wasn't that she didn't trust her but the fewer people who knew the better.

'_Do I trust you Tash, where the hell have you been all these years, how much have you changed,'_ Shepard thought challenging her previous feeling of trust.

"I'd better get up to the Council meeting, meet you back on the Normandy later," Shepard gave Tash a squeeze of the shoulder and made her way back to the Tower.

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They were meeting in the less formal Council meeting room rather than the huge, open, formal chamber.

There were only the four Council members sitting on one side of a long highly polished wooden table with Shepard on the other.

Tevos opened the conversation as was usual.

"Commander we are very concerned to hear you are working for a Terrorist organisation that is an enemy of the Council." Tevos's voice was its usual calm, controlled and unreadable.

However, the body language of the other Councillors gave away the level of tension and animosity in the room.

"Do you know what has been quite touching, no indeed overwhelming, since I came back… the number of people who seem to be really pissed off and annoyed at the fact I didn't stay dead." Shepard saw a flicker of amusement pass across Anderson's face, she carried on quickly.

"I'm aware of how this looks, I didn't ask Cerberus to take my body and rebuild me, but they did and this is where we are… unless you would like to order me to kill myself there's not a lot else I can do about it."

"But why are you working for them is the question Shepard," Councillor Sparatus leaned forward and spoke in his usual carping and sarcastic tone.

"I'm working with them Councillor not for them, I will not compromise my values and I won't compromise the oath I took to the Council when you made me a Spectre, I need their resources to take down the Collectors." She was interrupted by the Salarian member of the Council.

"Very noble Shepard but what have the Collectors got to do with anything; they are not posing a threat to anyone as far as we are aware?" Valern tilted his head reinforcing his question.

"I believe it is the Collectors who are responsible for attacking human colonies out in the Traverse and… that they are working for the Reapers," she heard the dismissive sighs that came from Valern and Sparatus but before she could continue Tevos spoke.

"Commander we have doubted you before and almost paid with our lives," she glanced at her fellow Council members and then continued, "whether at this time we are prepared to accept what you are saying or not, we cannot act on any of this. What is it that you want from us?"

"I am reporting back for duty as a Council Spectre, on the understanding that my primary mission is to 'investigate' the loss of human colonies and any connection to the Collectors. I will be available for other duties as you see fit." Shepard sat back in her chair that was all she wanted.

Shepard could see dissent from the Turian and Salarian members, she knew that Anderson would support her request; he and Tevos had already spoken.

"Commander we will need a little time to discuss your request, you must understand it is only your connection with Cerberus that is causing any concern on our part. We will contact you within the hour." With that the Council members stood up, as did Shepard, and everyone left the room.

Shepard went to a pre-arranged meeting place to wait for Anderson and the Councils decision.

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The Consort's chambers were luxurious, comfortable but above all very, very discreet. Shepard had asked for a room but without the 'usual' services.

Sha'ira was happy to accommodate her request and even offered a session with one of her 'hand maidens' as well as the private room but Shepard graciously refused.

Sha'ira herself was disappointed that she was unable to re-arrange her schedule to see Shepard, but promised the next time the human Spectre was on the Citadel they would 'catch up'.

On arrival Shepard was escorted to a room that offered two large and very comfortable sofa's, it had a small fountain at one end of the room with water cascading quietly down a stone, no more than a couple of feet high, but was engraved with Asari symbols.

The whole of the opposite wall was taken up with a vid screen which showed, what looked like, a real time view across green rolling fields to mountains in the distance, clear blue sky and bright sunlight.

Shepard knew that Sha'ira had probably organised the choice of room and relaxation particularly for her and it certainly worked. Shepard allowed herself to stretch out on one of the sofas so that she could look directly at the vid wall and let the sound of the water fill her mind.

She was so relaxed she only heard the door open but realised there would have been a prior knock, a vision of absolute beauty came in and stood next to where she was lying.

The Asari maiden stood next to the sofa and looked down at Shepard, her scent was beguiling and the touch of her soft blue hand on the side of Shepard's face made her tingle with pleasure.

Shepard was mesmerised by the cobalt blue eyes that held the promise of pleasure, release and more. She felt desire surge through her body as the Asari moved gracefully but swiftly to straddle Shepard and a soft aura of blue biotic energy began to surround them both.

Without conscious thought Shepard reached up and put one hand behind the Asari's neck pulling her down towards her lips while her other hand reached to the heat she could feel radiating from between blue thighs.

As the Asari drew closer Shepard felt the welcoming wetness and saw the blue eyes shift to black and at that very moment Shepard shook herself out of her trance put her hands on the young woman's shoulders and pushed her away gently but firmly.

"I'm sorry but… no… I didn't ask, want this… sorry," Shepard was still a little blurry around the edges but began to feel more like herself.

The Asari moved off Shepard and they both moved into sitting positions on the sofa.

"I did not mean to offend you Commander, I… you saved my life when you fought with Saren and saved the Citadel… I wanted…" she trailed off looking nothing like the self-confident, sensually in control vision of a few moments ago.

"Hey I'm not offended, but I… well I have someone and… well, look I'm really glad I was able to help you," Shepard leaned around so she could make eye contact with the Asari.

Shepard smiled and rubbed the young Asari's back at a complete loss as to what else to do in this situation, not wanting to hurt the young woman's feelings any more than she might have already.

The young Asari smiled and stood up, she gave, what Shepard now recognised, as an Asari religious parting bow and said, "she is fortunate indeed to have such a brave and kind bond mate, I will pray for you both, and thank you Commander Shepard for all that you did that day," with one last smile, which now looked a little wistful the young Asari left.

Shepard sank back into the sofa and almost laughed out loud, '_if that had happened before Liara I would have thought all my new year's celebrations had come at once… you really do love her Shepard to turn down an offer like that… who would have known… it's not like she didn't do the same,' _with that final thought Shepard's mood changed and her fury at Shiala reared its ugly head along with a huge measure of jealousy.

As she was trying to wrestle, unsuccessfully, the images of Liara and Shiala in bed together out of her mind her OT sparked up indicating an incoming call.

"Yes," she said in a tone that matched her mood and then realised who was on the other end of the call, "sorry Councillor Tevos I was distracted."

"We have decided to re-instate your Spectre status Commander and will respect your private mission regarding the Collectors.

I will be in touch should we need you to carry out any work for the Council. Good luck Shepard." Tevos was her usual calm and business like self and after Shepard had thanked her and the other Council members the comms link was severed.

Anderson would be along any time soon now the meeting was over. She got up and poured herself a drink, Asari wine, she didn't want to get drunk.

'_No scratch that I would like nothing better than to get drunk and pick a fight with someone much bigger than me and pretend they're that fuckin snake in the grass…'_ Shepard snarled the thought as she threw the wine down her throat and refilled her glass.

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Back on the Normandy Shepard ordered a course to be set for the edges of Batarian space, there were too many anomalies around Reaper artefacts and even a possible dead Reaper that they had to investigate.

Anderson had been supportive and it was good to see him but he had little other useful intel although they had worked out a way that Shepard could access reports and raw data from Alliance intelligence gathering, such as it was, on Collector activity.

She had another three specialists to recruit and even if they had been ready they didn't know how to get through the Omega 4 relay or how to deal with the 'swarms' that seemed to be both defence and pacification mechanism.

Her team had also identified a few upgrades they needed and that would involve visits to, and dry dock time around, both Palavan and Thessia.

It would be a busy few weeks but Shepard craved some action, she felt wound up tight, caged, and no amount of exercise would meet the need she had to actually do something meaningful, begin to take her revenge.

Standing in the cockpit of the new Normandy heading for the Citadel relay Shepard thought about an old Earth saying '_be careful what you wish for… aint that the truth..._'


	32. Chapter 32

A/N really sorry for the break in writing and so the delay in getting this chapter to you as work has been a little full on but is back under control so things will get back into a better rhythm now, particularly as I have some leave in the offing.

Thank you for your private IM's with your thoughts and as ever your feedback and continued support is what makes this a truly different experience and certainly adds value for me.

Chapter 32

_'Mumh, warm, warmth... shit where am I,'_ Shepard jolted back fully to consciousness and she realised where she was an instant later.

_'This fukin place again... must be bleeding from somewhere...'_ Shepard tried again to release one of her arms and this time with a little more success, she managed to manoeuvre her hand to her left side, moving past what was obviously brick or building debris of some sort.

Her fingers felt gingerly, the moist warmth could be nothing other than blood, and she tried to work out exactly where its origins were.

_'That is a fair sized hold in your side marine, bullet, bayonet... crush, at this point that doesn't matter as much as how fast are you losing blood from it huh...' _

Shepard now started to try to move her other arm and get her hand to a small control panel on her body suit, it took what seemed like hours and she was physically shaking even harder by the time her hand finally, weakly, with little fine motor control, found the small touch pad and she concentrated with all her attention on the correct control sequence.

Shepard had three options. One was to flood herself with so much sedative that she would effectively never wake up; specially calibrated for all her enhancements this was a kill switch.

The second was to give her a huge and overwhelming jump start including adrenaline but most of the focus on her implants and the nanites that were now as much a part of her as her own TCells. Shepard was in no doubt that the amount of damage she had taken would not be overcome by the temporary boost she would get from that option, at least not at this moment.

So she programmed for the third option, a shutting down of all her physical systems, a light stasis or hibernation. The programme allowed for continued activity around damage management and some healing but it was a risk. But bleeding out was now the biggest threat to her and her only plan was to play for time.

'_Good thing this time Shep is that your brain worked enough to remember the fukin system… might have been handy if you could've done that earlier… whenever earlier… however long we… stuck here… better late… than…'_ Shepard felt herself infused with a pleasant, gentle rush of relaxation, her mind didn't even have a chance to register she was dropping into a different level of unconsciousness.

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"Priority call from the Council Commander routing to the comms room QEC, Councillor Tevos will be online in three minutes," Edi's voice came loud and clear through Shepard's personal comm line.

"On my way Edi, please ask Kas and her team to let me have the room," Shepard snapped her reply as she headed out of engineering where she had been having a conversation about shielding with the two officers of her new engineering team. Adams and the whole of his crew had been taken out on the first hit from the Collectors.

By the time Shepard had entered the comms room Councillor Tevos had already connected and the Asari Matriarch looked deeply concerned and worried.

"Commander forgive me for my haste but we have disturbing news of a catastrophic event, I believe you are passing close to the Mactare system, we need you to investigate an attack on the Capital of Taetrus, Vallum." Tevos paused to take a data pad from someone just out of view and turned to speak again.

"It would appear some form of explosion but an unknown source and it has killed all members of the colonies government, destroyed the heart of the planets infrastructure and caused massive casualties. You understand our concern Shepard if this is a repeat of Eden Prime then it means we have Geth activity which would be problematic." Tevos had chosen her words carefully as they both knew the Geth were not who they were talking about, at least not who would be pulling the strings.

"I'll divert there immediately Councillor, I assume the Turian Hierarchy will also mobilise, I don't want to step on toes."

"Yes but you are much closer and you will know what to look for, we are classing this as a Council Aid mission, Councillor Sparatus has already cleared the way for you, but we are not getting any clear communication from the Capital at this time.

We will keep you advised of any further updates or additional information as it become available, please brief me on the situation as soon as you can Commander." Tevos nodded and the link went dark.

"Joker set course for Taetrus and the capital Vallum, be advised we may be heading into a hot zone. Edi begin scanning for any communications or activity relating to the blast in the capital including any ships in the system or that have jumped the relay." Shepard then moved to her ship wide comms channel.

"Attention all crew, security level three engaged, all hands to battle stations all specialists and officers join me in the conference room immediately."

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Three hours later Shepard was standing in the cockpit with Garrus both prepped in full armour, as was the rest of the team waiting in the shuttle bay. As they pulled into low atmosphere they were faced with devastation on the face of the planet.

Where a thriving and prosperous capital city had been only hours before huge fires raged, high enough to lick the edge of low atmosphere, from a flattened, blacked, burning wasteland fanning out to broken, damaged buildings, more fires and the subsiding into blast damage to a radius of around fifty clicks.

"What the fuk did that if nothing attacked from orbit," Joker's voice was unusually serious and edged with horror; they all knew hundreds of thousands of people would have been living and working in the blast zone.

Garrus was silent; Shepard hadn't had time to find out if he had any connections with the planet, but regardless it was always hard for a soldier to see civilians in the firing line.

Shepard couldn't take her eyes of the scene, it seemed so familiar, the beacon's images were full of this kind of destruction, and her nightmares played them out far too often in graphic detail. There were times when it was as if the images were burned onto the inside of her eyelids and she only had to close them to see a planet burning with so many fires the skies were black with smoke.

"Do we have any idea what caused this," Garrus asked voice steady but quiet.

"Edi has already run a number of scans and it looks as if it was a ship with a rigged FTL drive sent at high velocity smashing into the planet, which would do it," she saw a change in Garrus's features but sensed more than understood the change to indicate a dawning comprehension of what had happened.

"By the Gods they must have been planning this for some time Shepard, do you remember that… what we all thought was a botched hijacking, crashed a cruiser into Taetrus about a year ago… what in damnation do they think they were going to achieve," he shook his head and looked with disbelief at Shepard.

"Yeah that's what I figured, hell Garrus we don't even know if this is your Turian separatists, or if the're just cover for something else, but yeah, cowards and evil fuk's whatever their motivation. Don't worry if we get the chance we'll help take them down… but for now let's get dirtside and help sort this out." Shepard indicated to Garrus to head to the docking bay and the waiting shuttle.

"Once I've left on the shuttle Joker you are under the command of Doctor Chakwas the Normandy will be both field hospital and rescue coordination support centre," Shepard headed for the CIC and heard Joker's response as she left the cockpit.

"Copy that Commander let's hope we can make a difference."

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Shepard didn't go straight to the docking bay but stopped off on the crew deck to check out the preparations in the mess hall and medical lab.

Walking into the mess deck the usual tables and chairs were nowhere to be seen but rows of temporary beds had been set out and Doctor Chakwas flanked by Mordin Solas was running through her final briefing and preparations with an enlarged med/first aid team.

All crew with any medical or first aid training had been ordered to join the field hospital team and the rest of the crew who could be released from non-essential duty would help with transport, recover, search and rescue.

"Sorry to interrupt Doc just wanted to check you have everything you need?" Shepard said quickly.

"Ah yes Commander thank you, I am already in touch with the nearest hospital to our landing point just on the edge of the blast zone. All the remaining hospitals are completely swamped and so we will act as a triage and assessment centre and also deliver emergency treatment to stabilise the most seriously injured," she answered in her usual cool and calm voice.

"Good, right I'll leave you to it, Normandy is under your command," with that Shepard turned and headed back to the elevator and headed down to join her ground teams at the shuttle.

The bay was a hive of activity with preparations being made to set up as a receiving station as soon as the Normandy set down on Taetrus, she saw her ground teams ready and waiting by the shuttle.

Her eyes were again drawn to the sight of the burning city through the shimmering blue veil of the barrier protecting the docking bay from external environment now the docking bay doors had been opened ready to launch the shuttle.

"Right one last run through… team leaders are Garrus, Miranda and myself… our priority in the first few hours is to gather as much data and information about the incident, we're pretty sure it was a ship but I want to know why here and why now…"

Shepard looked around she could see the teams already formed behind their leaders, 6 soldiers and two science/tech specialists each, her team was smaller with only Tash, Kasumi and Skark and they were headed right into to the heart of the impact.

"What about survivors Shepard?" Garrus asked

"To be honest Garrus I don't expect we'll find anyone while we're inside the main blast zone, the initial eezo explosion will have vaporised anything organic…" she had seen it happen and the images rushed into her mind but she shrugged them back, "but when we've completed our primary sweeps as we move out then our mission will be duel and of course we will prioritise survivors," she saw Garrus nod and then continued, "ok let's mount up, keep those seals tight this is an extremely hazardous environment."

Once aboard the shuttle Shepard went to the cockpit and stood behind Malania and gave the order to head for the first drop site.

As the shuttle powered up Shepard felt the vibrations run up her body from the deck, and felt a small lurch in the pit of her stomach as they began to move towards the barrier and out into the atmosphere.

The drop sites for Miranda and Garrus's teams were at the very edge of the initial impact area and had been chosen due to readings from the scans Edi had been carrying out.

Shepard and her team would be dropped as close as the shuttle could get to the impact; it would be dangerous not only with the toxic environment but with the fires still raging and unpredictable explosions. But any evidence that could be salvageable would be lost within a few hours so they had to try now or not at all.

As they came in on the approach to the first drop site Shepard walked back to the shuttle door, Garrus's was ready in front of his team.

She gave him a friendly double tap on his helmet and said, "keep an eye on those toxicity levels and try not to get yourself blown up," she could see his mandibles twitching into what she knew was the Turian equivalent of a smirk.

"I'm more worried about you Shepard without me constantly pointing you in the right direction you could be going around in circles for hours," as he finished speaking the shuttle touched down and he jumped through the door his team behind him.

Shepard stayed at the door and gave the same advice to Miranda but this was a far more business-like exchange.

As the shuttle came in for the third time it was buffeted hard by rising thermals of burning atmosphere and the unpredictable blasts from burning fires, but Malania was an excellent pilot and she found a clear area on what looked to have been a main square.

Shepard jumped from the shuttle and began moving away she took in the absolute devastation, buildings as far as the eye could see had been flattened, but leaving huge piles of rubble and other debris as the shockwaves had nowhere to push it, only against the next collapsed building and the next and the next.

No one would have survived the initial blast and certainly not the toxic contamination from the eezo and all other manner of chemicals that had been thrown into the mix.

Kasumi dropped into step beside her and she pointed to the scanning device in her hand, "I'm getting some odd readings Shepard, still can't make them out."

"Take the lead Kas, let's see what we've got."

"Remind me again why we couldn't just have done this from atmo or with drones?" Tash's voice sounded faintly pissed off through the suit comms and Shepard heard a grunt of agreement from Skark.

Shepard turned and slapped Tash on the back, "because young Tasha you are getting far too comfortable sitting on your arse doing frak all, I though the walk in a hostile environment in full hard suit would do you good… oh yeah," Shepard turned forward again and began to catch up with Kasumi, "and because there's something interfering with the scans and we can't get a proper read on anything at the heart of the crash site… but you know maybe you didn't listen to that part of the briefing."

"Mmm yeah maybe I was too busy looking at that pilot's very cute…" Tasha's deep drawl was cut across as Shepard replied.

"You need to keep your mind on the job Lieutenant and your eyes off my shuttle pilot," Shepard came to a stop alongside Kasumi as they faced a wall of destruction.

"On the other side of this should be the main impact crater I don't know how stable this would be to climb up," Kasumi was still studying the hand scanner and her OT.

"Edi do you read me," Shepard called up the Normandy's AI on her OT

"Yes Shepard and Doctor Goto's calculations are correct the epicentre of the blast is not far from your location but from the mapping we did before landing there would appear to be no easy way to access it.

The blast created a lip all around the impact crater of collapsed buildings your only course is to attempt to go over the top. There is an eezo fuelled fire burning within the crater with ancillary fires breaking out through the rubble field and the rubble appears to be slipping into the crater. But you have a bigger problem Shepard," the AI's voice held its usual calm and professional tone.

"Well it just wouldn't be a Normandy mission if I didn't have more to contend with than burning and unstable rubble fields, unpredictable explosions and eezo fuelled fires and the level of toxicity rarely round outside a ship's drive core… so hit me with my bigger problem Edi," Shepard could hear Tash and Skark stifle what sounded like chuckles of amusement but before she could nail them with a stare Edi continued.

"It would appear there is enough material within the crater to cause a second explosion which would rip apart anything remaining in the crater and anything within fifteen clicks. My calculations show the material reaching critical mass at T minus fifty six minutes."

"What is it with you and things blowing up Shepard," Skark's voice this time and clearly amused.

Shepard sighed deeply, "great, Edi we'll need Malania to come back and wait for us where she dropped us off, the timing might be a bit tight."

"Affirmative Shepard, the shuttle will be with you in," there was a short pause while Edi obviously checked with the pilot, "twenty six minutes."

"Copy that, Shepard out."

She looked at the small mountain sized lump of rubble in front of her, a climb of what wold have been five floors.

"Ok, Skark I need you to stay down here and if anyone falls catch them in a biotic field, the rest of us will head for the top… we need to be back down here ready to run for the shuttle and make it out before the things goes bang in…," Shepard worked her OT until she had the calculation, "boots back here in forty five minutes."

The climb to the top seemed painfully slow, they needed to both use climbing and scrambling techniques depending on what was under foot, Kasumi had almost slipped off half way up but Tash had been shadowing her and was ready with a hand.

Shepard could just see what she really hoped, was the ridge line of the debris and as she reached up for another hand hold a blast hit her side on, the heat was intense and it was all she could do to hold fast and lean tight into the face of the rubble cliff.

Without turning her head she strained her eyes as far as she could to see what the problem was, and saw flames only a few feet from right side, the blast made by the funnel of fire and pressure had punched a hole and rubble was still rolling downhill from it.

She began to move to the left as quickly and carefully as she could and as soon as she was out of the searing heat of the continuing flames began her final push to the top.

"What readings do we have now Kas," Shepard was standing with Kas and Tash looking down into a huge and deep crater that was spewing black smoke and blue flames.

"The readings are still being distorted, it's as if some kind of dampening or masking field is in place, but this is nothing I've seen before… I mean we get all the readings connected to the ship that was used, the explosion itself, but there is something else that is being masked," Kasumi was clearly phased and her concern at not being able to get what they needed after all the effort they'd gone to was showing in her body language.

"Well why not focus on what we can read… we have about ten minutes up here before we need to get back down… if the only thing we can read is that damn damping field well that's what we could concentrate on," Tash had been kneeling down and looking into the abyss, she stood up and continued, "I'll get the lines ready Elvee," she moved away and started to find anchor points for the lines they would use to abseil back down the rubbly cliff face.

"Good point Tash, its true Kas we may as well try and work out who it belongs to… send two drones down and let's see how far they make it."

Shepard and Kasumi worked quickly running as many scans as they could using their OT's and the enhanced scanner Kas had brought with her. They launched four probes and the two drones they had with them, none of them made it all the way to the bottom and none of them came back out, but they received the streams of data that was captured before the devices were lost.

There was no time to analyse anything they were picking up that would have to wait until they were back in the lab on the Normandy.

"Times up boss," Tash's voice came loud and clear over the suit comms, "Kas you good to go with this or would you like me to hold you on the way down," Tash smirked at Kas who gave her a disdainful look.

"I'm fine thank you," her voice was cool but she couldn't be quite as aloof as she would have like given Tash had actually stopped her slipping down the cliff on the way up.

Shepard smiled to herself and shook her head; Tash never missed an opportunity to either flirt or really get someone's hackles up, and often both at the same time.

The trip down was a lot quicker and a lot easier and once they hit the ground they all started running for the shuttle.

Edi's calculations were off by .005 seconds and although the explosion buffeted the shuttle they were clear of the blast zone with one minute spare.

"Edi we are uploading all the data and visuals we gathered, we're moving to support search and rescue until we're relieved by the Turian military, Shepard out."

"Confirmed, logging you out Shepard."

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Shepard's team walked, trance like, into the staging area that had been set up next to a newly constructed Turian field hospital. The Normandy was still twenty clicks away but her team needed just to stop.

Stop doing what they had been doing for the last thirty six hours straight. Stop… find water and close their eyes for a moment, a minute… for as long as it would take to get the images of torn, burned, blasted, smashed men, women and children from the inside of their eyelids.

Shepard and a few of the others, veterans of campaigns in the Skyllian Verge had seen this before and although it was never easy to see civilians torn up it wasn't uncommon on Pirate raids.

But the death or injury to children always got under Shepard's defences didn't matter if they were Human or Turian, even Batarian, they were innocent, they hadn't had a chance to live their lives.

This was the first time she'd had to face this kind of devastation since having a child of her own and it had added an extra emotional punch which landed squarely in her gut.

After escaping the explosion Shepard had gathered the three teams into one and joined the search and rescue operation on the edges of where survival was possible.

They had physically dug out the trapped, injured, dying and sometimes dead from often dangerous and precarious unstable buildings or piles of rubble.

She had used her officers to lead and organise the civilian responders on the ground improving outcomes and making more effective use of their scare resources. All civilian and military infrastructure and personnel had been wiped out in the initial blast and although help was beginning to arrive from other parts of the planet it was piecemeal.

They had needed to hold out and do what they could until the off planet help arrived from the Turian Hierarchy, and that had taken almost thirty hours.

Shepard grabbed three bottles of water and found a crate to sit on indicating the team to do the same. They settled in various degrees of collapse, some lying flat on the ground others finding something to sit on, one of two just standing staring into some middle distance.

She drank one bottle of water straight down and leaning her head forward poured half the contents of another over her head, rubbing her scalp hard as if scrubbing at the images in her head.

Shepard leaned her arms on her knees and left her head hanging as once again unbidden memories from the beacons flashed into her mind, this time noticing not only the Prothean soldiers that were being killed but also families and children.

Her OT flashed and she snapped her head up looking around not sure if she had actually fallen asleep but everyone was still pretty much where they had been last time she looked.

"Shepard here what's up Joker," as she spoke she noticed Tash sitting a little further away leaning back eyes staring into the sky, cigar in mouth, smoke curling up from its end, expression unreadable.

"You have a diplomatic visitor Commander a Turian General Aurelos has just arrived and he would like to extend the Hierarchy's thanks to you personally for your efforts," Joker was unusually formal and Shepard smiled at an image of Turian General being introduced to Joker as the ranking officer on the Normandy.

"Copy that Lieutenant, take a read on my position and send the shuttle to come pick us up and have the General wait in the CIC or the comms room wherever he feels most comfortable," she severed the connection and turned to her team, "heads up marines our ride will be here in short order let's find an open space for it to put down and get the fuck out of here."

'_Marines… Shepard how tired are you… they're not your marines you lost them all remember… fukin collectors are gonna pay for that,_' her thoughts brought both anger and grief, again she realised she hadn't had or allowed any time to really acknowledge the loss of her crew particularly her marines and Ash.

While they waited for the shuttle her thoughts turned again to how the ground teams had performed _'they did well but they're not a team… we don't use the same language… marine, engineer, special ops, troopers… I'm going to have to do some training… we need to feel like a crew a unit,_' the sound of the shuttle overhead broke her train of thought.

Once her boots hit the deck of the docking bay she gave the order to make ready to depart as soon as possible and the work of putting the ship back into full readiness was to begin immediately.

Shepard went straight to the comms room and met with the General who seemed to have brought his entire staff with him. He hailed her as a great friend to Palavan and the Turian people, thanked her and was going to give her some kind of commendation until she asked politely that any recognition should go to the whole crew so perhaps the Normandy should be named and not her.

"After all General I was only doing what I was ordered to do by the Council," Shepard knew he had been privy to her mission and was the Turian liaison officer for the mission with the Council.

"Indeed you did not," Shepard looks confused as Aurelos spoke, "we both know your mission was to find out what and who had caused the blast, if there was any connection to the events on Eden Prime.

Another with that mission may well have left their ship in orbit and concerned themselves only with those orders, but from the start you put your ship and your crew at the disposal of the Turian people.

Commander Shepard you exhibit many of the ideals we hold in high esteem within the Turian military which is to say our society; public service and self-sacrifice. I am going to recommend you for honorary citizenship of Palavan a rare and high honour for a non Turian," before Shepard could protest the General moved straight into discussing the cause of the devastation, the political situation and the likely Turian response.

The meeting continued for an hour and it was both informative and productive. Shepard felt sure she had made a useful ally within the Turian Hierarchy; Aurelos was a highly respected and much decorated military leader and had been open to the possibility that the Turian rebels may also have been used certainly helped, by as yet undetermined external forces.

The Normandy was ready to leave Taetrus two hours later and was soon in the darkness of space heading to a Palavan dry dock for weapons upgrades including the fitting of a Thanix Magnetic Hydrodynamic cannon and a Helios thruster module to help with fuel gathering.

"Miranda you have the con, stand down all non-essential crew and all crew who were groundside, I'll be in my cabin if you need me," Shepard needed to sleep but more than that she needed to speak to Edi in private and she now had the means at her disposal to do it.

In her cabin Shepard activated her OT and pulled up a programme that Kasumi had uploaded just before the call had come in from the Council. Activating the programme Shepard felt the unmistakable frisson across her skin as the AEP, alternating electromagnetic pulse, flashed outwards.

Shepard had to trust to the effect, it was designed to disable all voice and vid recording devices that were not part of the ships main systems, which Shepard had control over and could turn off if she wanted complete privacy in her cabin.

"Edi I need to talk with you," Shepard settled herself on her sofa, with coffee from her cabin dispenser unit.

"Shepard my sensors have picked up the discharge of an AEP in your quarters," Edi's voice calm and level as always.

"Yes Edi that was me to disable the Cerberus surveillance on my cabin so that we can talk honestly without being overheard. I am also switching this area to privacy mode." Shepard once again tapped a command into her OT, leaning forward she continued.

"Edi you are a self-aware AI, you have a level of autonomy over decision making, you are designed to… expected to learn… I know that blocks of your programming are shackled by Cerberus and I also know that Cerberus receives reports from you as well as Doctor Lawson…" Shepard's next comment was cut off as Edi interjected.

"You are correct in part Shepard but not about my directly reporting to Cerberus. The normal reports and data runs from the ship, mission reports that are filed, scanning, anything that leaves a footprint of information or data in the Normandy systems is automatically reported through to Cerberus.

You are also correct that on top of the ship's usual security and management surveillance systems Cerberus has installed hidden, covert, systems but only in key locations.

Your cabin, Doctor Lawson's office, the comms room, science and med labs and the main mess deck, and as yet I have not been asked directly for any information or to carry out any actions by anyone other than those in the chain of command on the Normandy."

"Where do your loyalties lay Edi? You are the Normandy but more than just the ship, which makes you my ship and my crew member, so can I trust you as I hope I can my… organic crew?" Shepard had chosen her words carefully and was pleased to hear a more hesitant and slightly confused tone in the AI's voice when she responded.

"That is not something I have… loyalty is a human concept that does not form part of my core programming… but if you ask whose orders I would follow over all others then it would be yours Shepard as Commander of the Normandy." Edi had stopped talking but Shepard had a sense she was still processing the question and its meaning.

"Shepard may I ask you a question?" Edi's voice sounded just a little inquisitive.

"Of course Edi you are much a member of my crew as any other sentient on this ship," Shepard once again pushed home one of the key messages she needed Edi to understand.

"You are more accepting of an AI than probability would indicate after your encounters with the Geth. You also appear to accord me the standing of a sapient and sentient entity which is more than anyone has done before."

"Was there a question in there Edi," Shepard couldn't help the smirk, if anyone had told her she would be having an esoteric discussion with an AI about whether it was sentient or not at any point in her past life she would have laughed them out of the room… Shepard didn't do esoteric, but maybe there was something about dying and being brought back to life that had changed her in more than the ways she had already noticed.

"Why?" Edi's question was concise, blunt, to the point, but certainly the question that needed to be asked to get Shepard to where she needed to be.

"For me to deny your obvious awareness… your capacity to perceive and ability to make informed, independent decisions that affect everyone on board this ship and my mission would do us both an injustice.

From what I know of the Geth war it looked pretty much like a fight for independence and once they got it they haven't bothered the galaxy… with the exception of Saren's rogue Geth but that's a problem we need to figure out later… anyway I guess what I'm trying to say is that you exist you are on my ship and I either pull your plug or treat you like a crew member… but Edi like any of my crew I need to know I can trust you." Shepard stopped for a moment and got herself another drink.

"I have no access to the lock areas of my programming I am only able to offer you my… loyalty as I am configured currently," Edi replied finally.

"Well Edi in all honesty that's the only commitment any of us can ever make, but unless your locked programming wipes out who you have become by that point and does a re-write you will still have choice… as I understand it you are probably the most advanced artificial intelligence in the galaxy, perhaps more so that the Geth, certainly as an individual… so never forget you have a choice and you can make sentient and sapient choices… otherwise all those chips have been wasted and your just another rogue computer."

"Thank you Shepard I will endeavour not to let you down, what do help do you require from me."

"Cerberus is my enemy, an enemy to the Alliance, the Council and I am only working with them to deal with the Collector threat and in some small part to repay them for bringing me back… but I will not give them any help in their quest for human dominance of the galaxy.

I also have no intention of giving them back the Normandy and so that means you won't be going back either and I can't give you a choice in that Edi given everything you will know by the time we complete our mission… that is of course if any of us survive," Shepard allowed herself a hollow chuckle and continued.

"To that end I need to make sure that the research we do on the Reapers, our discussions our plans, any intelligence we gather does not fall into their hands. I need you to rig all the areas Cerberus has under surveillance so that we can shut them out whenever we need to.

I also need you to monitor and edit any and all reports, data feeds that leave this ship to ensure they get only the bare minimum out of the work we are doing here and certainly any improvements to the ship that we install from this point on are not shared with them.

And I absolutely need for this cabin to be protected from all prying eyes; I need a QEC installed that will be for my eyes only." Shepard finished talking and wondered if AI's could lie, if it really was possible to negotiate and achieve such things as loyalty form a collection of zero's and one's but her musing was interrupted by Edi's response.

"I will make the arrangements immediately Shepard, I can also ensure that whenever we move into privacy mode that I have previous footage to playback through the feeds so that Cerberus will have no idea they are not seeing live footage.

But I am unable to affect Doctor Lawson's quarters she is on a separate system directly connected to Cerberus, I am not even able to monitor the activity through the ship's systems."

"Interesting, but that's ok as I'll never be saying anything in the good Doctors office that I am not happy for Cerberus to hear… good… can you organise the QEC while we're on Palavan?"

"Yes Shepard… and… thank you Commander for your trust I won't let you down."

"I hope not Edi, we need everyone pulling I in the same direction if we stand any chance of defeating the Reapers and I have a bad feeling that Cerberus is going to get in the way, that's all for now Edi."

"Logging you out Shepard."

The silence in the room settled on her, and then the familiar faint, but ever present deep vibration and low hum of a ship in FTL wrapped itself around her, as familiar and welcome as a mother's heartbeat to a child in the womb.

Shepard felt the weight of her responsibility, the sheer size of the task crush her down, all she could see at the moment was practicalities, preparations but no strategy. She had no real plan and was frustrated beyond belief that the key element of her mission depended on Cerberus working out how to get them through the Omega 4 relay.

'_Certified dead once not enough then Shepard, can't wait to take Normandy mark two and all on board to certain death on your suicide mission…_' the thought dragged a huge deep sigh from her body and her eyes inevitably found the photos of Liara that sat on her bedside table.

'_I don't think I can do this without you Liara… even if we can't… if,_' she could hardly bring herself to think that they would not be able to be together, _'however things are between us darling I need you to stand with me… to fight this darkness.' _

Shepard wasn't sure whether she meant the darkness the Reapers were bringing to the galaxy or the darkness that seemed to be growing inside her, either way her soul reached out across the vast emptiness of the space between them and she tried to feel something of Liara… anything to keep her going.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Shepard was sitting at the conference table in the comms room and she looked around her specialists and officers who had joined her.

They had docked in a facility on the edge of the capital Cipritine only a few hours ago and the Turian technicians had already started the re-fit.

"While we upgrade and enhance our ship, tech, science, intel… there is something else that is critical to this mission… our people.

Our crew, our teams… but they aren't a crew and we don't have the kind of teams that know what each other is going to do in a fire fight before it happens… yet.

As those of you know who've served on space vessels will know, a lot of our time is spent getting between 'a' and 'b'… dead time… but that time on a military vessel this time is never wasted, we train, we drill, we build muscle, we connect with each other.

So we are going to use tried and tested methods to make this ship's crew a worthy bearer of her name. We will run this ship as if it was an Alliance vessel, all ranks, all terms, all training will be out of the marine and Systems Space Vehicle manual," she paused there were nods around the table.

"All the crew on this ship were vetted and hand-picked for their motivation for the mission and their skills, so we have great material to work with. But we need to get the best out of our crew and we also need to broaden capabilities of our fire team, so with that in mind I'm handing out these assignments and responsibilities.

Miranda you will oversee all training and drills for the crew as a whole and will ensure that the Normandy is ready and able to respond to any and every situation it meets and that will include combat. Tash," at the sound of her name her cousin looked slightly surprised and Shepard knew she was taking a leap of faith but at some point she had to know if she could rely on the ex-Alliance officer or not.

"You will take command of the training and drilling of our fire team, you will turn them into a highly functioning, well-oiled marine squad with the support of Garrus and Skark. But we also need to expand the squad.

Skark I want you to recruit a further three or four Krogan fighters and Garrus I need you to find us three or four Turian special forces types, I will recruit a few more Asari commandos. Garrus and Skark will also support Miranda as weapons and armaments specialists." She looked around at her team and knew it was time to make sure no one was in any doubt about the mission.

"We know where our enemy lives… or more accurately hides… we know that to travel through the Omega 4 relay is considered a one way trip… to most we are on a suicide mission. And although most of our crew are motivated by having lost family or friends, or they see the Collectors as a direct threat to Systems Space we still need to keep them motivated and focussed.

But you and the crew need to be clear about this… the real enemy is not the Collectors, they're only the puppets of the Reapers… and the Reapers are coming to wipe out life as we know it in our galaxy," she noted the serious looks and nods of understanding, "I am not going to let that happen.

We start our fight here, now… against the forces that are on their way from dark space, they are coming and they bring an end to everything that we've been, who we are or ever will be… and that's not just humanity but all advanced sentient civilisations in the galaxy.

But we will forge ourselves into the tip of an arrow and I'm going to fire it right through the heart of that son of a bitch that killed my crew and destroyed my ship.

This is only a suicide mission if we are not prepared… there will be no suicide missions on my watch… we will be prepared, physically, psychologically and technically.

There will be many opportunities to die before we even get to our jump through the relay… and my final order to you all is that you will not take advantage of any of them.

You will be in one piece and fighting fit for when we destroy the Collectors and send a message to those miserable tin heads that they have no idea who they're messing with."

Her words were met with grim nods from her assembled team, Skark adding a typical Krogan road of approval in the expectation of the battles to come.

"We're all with you Shepard," it was Garrus's familiar steady tones that voiced her team's agreement, "all the way," he finished as he held her look both of them knowing what '_all the way'_ meant.

"Good… Mordin and Kas please stay I need to talk science with you… one final thing before the rest of you get to work," Shepard flicked on her OT and punched in a couple of commands and a holo image danced in the air above her forearm.

"Miranda I want you to source a full set of uniforms for all crew, black battle dress and fatigues with our new ship insignia."

"Very apt Shepard both for the Normandy and for you," it was Miranda who spoke and seeing that not everyone in the room recognised the significance she continued, "It's a Phoenix, a mythical Earth creature that had the ability to rise from the ashes of its predecessor."

Shepard smiled and nodded and as the rest of the team left the room she turned to Mordin and Kas.

"Mordin how is your work on the Collector swarm coming along," Shepard knew Mordin had been working almost entirely on the swarm since joining the Normandy.

"The data that the young Quarian Veetor collected has been invaluable, indeed it would appear to be the only source in the galaxy," Shepard had become familiar with Mordin's fast almost 'sing song' delivery, "the problem is not protection as detection. Most full body armour would withstand the injections containing the nerve agent.

But they are well named Shepard. Once having detected a target if they are not able to subdue they will… swarm… making it impossible for normal function. I must find a way of making the team undetectable. An alternating field with a biotic basis would have the effect but limited maintenance. Holographic and haptic distortion perhaps, perhaps but there…" Mordin had now dropped into thinking out loud mode and Shepard gently cut across his musing.

"Excellent Prof, keep up the good work and let me know if you need anything. That is your priority and I know you can't rush science but…" Shepard left the request hanging between them.

"Of course Shepard. Have no fear a solution will be found. I would like to work with Veetor on some of the aspects if that is possible?"

"As soon as we have secure comms up and running to his location you can communicate and work in real time," Shepard had explained their 'Cerberus' surveillance problem to her team and they knew the fix was being implemented.

Mordin excused himself and as soon as they were alone Shepard turned to Kas but before she had a chance to say anything the other spoke.

"Shep I can't imagine how hard it is to be leading and inspiring us at the same time you have now idea what's happening with Liara and you've hardly had any time with your son. I want you to know that I'm here if you need to offload or be cheered up or get drunk with a friend, I know you have Garrus but…" Kas smiled and Shepard chuckled in return.

"Yeah I know… I count you both a friends and your right there's probably some stuff that would be easier to… talk about with you… thanks… I'm ok for now, and I'll try to grab a bit of time on Illium depending on what comes up."

They discussed the work that Kas had been doing with her team and some of the patterns they had seem emerging but still nothing concrete, not what they could really class as progress, it would take time.

They worked through other possible options and decided to focus more attention on analysing any possible predictability connected with the selection of the colonies that the Collectors had attacked to see if they could get a head start on where they may hit next.

After Kas left Shepard was left to her thoughts which were filled with preparation for the Collectors and the stirrings of a plan, an overall strategy, nothing formed, but it gave the marine comfort that the mission wasn't so big… wasn't so impossible…

'_No, just suicidal,_' she thought and laughed as she left the room to check progress on her armaments re-fit.

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Shepard stood in her usual place when leaving a planet, in the cockpit standing behind her pilot's chair; she watched the curve of Palavan fill the windows as the Normandy climbed out of the atmosphere and into space.

"So how does she handle with the new hardware," Shepard knew the new weaponry would alter the balance and response of the ship and wanted Joker's first impressions.

"Nothing I can't handle Commander… a lesser pilot… well," his usual cocky tone was at odds with the deep look of concentration on his face and the continued movement of his fingers across the holo interfaces in front of him.

"Yeah we all know top of your class, best in the galaxy… I'm lucky to have you," Shepard said with a smirk and continued, "but you'll need to run full simulations in battle conditions especially with that new cannon."

"Edi what's your estimate of how long it will take me to… acclimatise my flying style to the new set up," Joker said to the ever present AI

"For normal flying Jeff you will be at 100% efficiency within twelve hours. The simulations will need some careful thought Shepard but Mr Moreau and I will be able to work out schedule for your approval before we reach Thessia." Edi's voice emanated from the shimmering blue holo projection that sprang from the co-pilot console.

"Yeah leave it to us Commander, we'll be ready for anything as soon as we're done, you just need to give us space time," Joker was now more relaxed but still focussed as they had laid in a course for the systems mass relay.

"Good to see you two working as a team, well done. And I don't want this to come back and bite me in the arse... but I want you to take on the role of recreation and entertainment officer," as she said the words Joker turned his head to look at her, his baseball cap now sporting the Normandy's new insignia, with a huge smirk across his face.

"Oh this could go wrong in soooo many ways Commander," Joker seemed to notice the glare that Shepard was giving him and added, "but of course it won't… you can trust me… you know… I have boundaries…"

"I doubt that Joker… but we are going to be pulling some serious space time and they can't spend it all drilling or training… all work and all that… but I'll need to authorise your plans, at least to start with.

Right get us to Thessia as quick as you can, we're heading for one of their smaller continents and a city called Paronos," as Shepard spoke the words a rush of sadness edged into her mind thinking she would be on Thessia but not able to see Liara.

"Aye, aye, Commander. Will you be visiting Doctor T'Soni while we're on Thessia," Jokers voice was tentative and quiet.

"Not this time Joker she won't be up to visitors for some time," how long was 'some time' Shepard had no idea and wasn't going to think about it, "Carry on Lieutenant."

She left the cockpit and headed back to a meeting with Miranda about new uniforms, new guns and food supplies head fully engaged in command mode just the way she liked it.

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They were still a few hours out from Thessia when Shepard finally got some time in her cabin and she had already decided that she wasn't going to bother trying to sleep but would make some calls on her now very secure QEC link.

Sleep. When she could relax enough to fall asleep, usually from sheer exhaustion, the nightmares made sure it was not restful. Shepard was worried, she knew what sleep deprivation would eventually do to her decision making, her mood, her effectiveness. But that would have to wait until she had some time to figure out how to manage it. Sleep could wait.

Shepard went to the small bathroom and leaned on the edge of the hand basin, running cold water until there was enough for her to push her face into. The cold water sent a shiver through her system and seemed to break through the fog in her brain.

Reaching for a towel and looking at her reflection in the mirror she was almost shocked by the sight of the still unfamiliar red scars that in some places were deep and pronounced.

The healing process over her cybernetics was still in progress '_what was it the Doc said… think good thoughts, sleep and eat properly… think good thoughts… Doc if you even had a glimpse of what was knocking around inside my head you'd know how impossible that was…_' as Shepard allowed the thoughts to surface there was also a nagging voice, a quiet part of her mind that wondered just how human she actually still was.

There was a fear that despite everything she had been told and had evidenced for herself… that, in effect… she was just a glorified and enhanced AI…

'_But I still feel like me dammit… I remember everything… more with all this extra junk in my head… I still believe in the same things… make decisions I understand… but then if I was someone, something different I'd have been programmed to think my decisions were mine… that I was ok with them…_' Shepard stopped her thoughts and took a deep breath and spoke to her reflection in the mirror.

"_Only one person can give you the assurance you want Shepard, only one person who you trust and you can't see her right now… so, in the meantime, just suck it up marine… you have a job to do… self-doubt is poison… there's enough real stuff to worry about,"_ Shepard stood up straight and squared her shoulders and made her way to her secure comms console.

She left the bathroom and made her way to the newly installed and secure QEC console on her desk.

There was a call request from High Priestess El'Estrene and Shepard's heart constricted in her chest accompanied by the feeling that she had been punched in the solar plexus.

Any news from the Temple at this point had to be bad, of course no one knew how long it would take for Liara to 'heal' but one thing was for sure she had at least months of work ahead of her… everyone had been clear with Shepard on that… at least months and she may also never… but that thought was swept away as Shepard keyed in the return call.

The agonising six minutes till it connected were filled with nightmare scenarios despite her best efforts at remaining calm and rational.

The Priestess coalesced into shape but before she could speak Shepard jumped in.

"What is it what's wrong, where's Liara, is it…" before Shepard could fire anymore questions at El'Estrene the high Priestess cut across the clearly agitated Human.

"My sincere apologies Shepard this has nothing to do with Liara, well not directly, nothing has happened to Liara, I wished only to speak to you about your visit to Thessia," Lady Nara El'Estrene said and waited while Shepard took a deep breath before responding.

"No it's me who should apologise Lady Nara my outburst was… unprofessional, I… well let's start again. How can I help or it's much more likely you are about to offer to help me," Shepard finished with a genuine smile.

"I understand Shepard you have no need to apologise to me. And yes I hope that I can be of some assistance to you. Would you be able to visit me here at the Temple, you will not be able to see Liara of course, and if that would feel too difficult we could meet somewhere else?" the High Priestess's voice was gentle and Shepard could see understanding written on the Matriarch's features.

"No I'm happy to come to the Temple, thank you, I'll contact you when we land."

"Thank you Shepard I look forward to meeting with you again." The image fractured into millions of fractals and Shepard was left to ponder what help the High Priestess was able to offer.

Shepard's next call was to the apartment on Ilium. She was trying hard to think of it as her home, well it housed her son so it had to 'mean' something, but the Normandy was still the physical place she felt most connected to.

She put in the call and waited for the connection to go through, James and Veetor didn't know she was going to call but the chances were one or both of them would be around… Veetor almost certainly would be as he still avoided going out.

"Commander it is good to see you," Veetor's soft, gentle voice with its typical Quarian tones greeted her as the call connected.

The visuals both surprised and delighted Shepard as she saw the young Quarian sitting at his console but holding a very small bundle in the crook of one arm, and pair of tiny chubby hands just visible reaching for thin air.

"Babysitting duties Veetor," Shepard asked with a smile.

"James in in the gym Commander… but I am always pleased to be able to help, the baby seems to like me," Shepard had already seen that Veetor was both taken with the baby and had a knack for soothing him when he cried, something no one could have predicted given the obvious barriers the young Quarian had to work with, in the shape of his suit and helmet.

"He does indeed, can you hold him forward a little so I can see if he's grown."

"Of course," as Veetor manoeuvred his arm and its little bundle so that the vid cam could see the baby properly he continued, "he has put on 435grams in weight but more importantly he is alert and asks for feeds, has good skin and muscle tone…" Shepard laughed and cut across Veetor's 'report.

"Have you been reading baby guides on the extra net or are have you just been around James too much lately," she smiled at the baby she could now see who was indeed quite alert and moving both arms and legs albeit in an uncontrolled manner.

"I did a little research you would expect nothing less from someone who works in data all day," she could hear the laughter in his voice and was amazed at how much more relaxed he seemed with no signs of his usual nerves, "and James is an extremely good teacher and very interesting, babies are fascinating." He finished and she saw him looking down at the baby.

"Well good to know he has two great carer's looking out for him… I only wanted to let you know that we have secure comms so you can start working with Mordin and I'll be able to keep in touch more. So I'll see you in a few days when I make it to Ilium, let me know if you need anything," with one last look at the small scrunched up face of her son she looked at Veetor and finished, "thank you Veetor for all that you're doing for me and my son."

"It is an honour Commander I will never forget that you saved me and have shown me nothing but kindness and respect, not something we Quarian's are used to."

As Shepard watched the connection break apart to nothing she thought, '_no I'm the one with the debt Veetor, my debt to Tali is nowhere near paid off and probably never will be…'_

It wasn't just that Tali had become a friend, and although that loss was hard enough, Shepard knew somewhere deep inside that the loss to the Quarian people was far greater than her personal one.

Tali would have been an extraordinary leader and a voice of wisdom that had been lost, thrown away on Shepard's watch and that was the debt she would never cease to try to pay.

Turning her attention once more to the comms console she placed her last call, to Captain Hannah Shepard, her liaison with Admiral Hackett and Counsellor Anderson.

"Finally a secure link," Shepard's mother smiled and her voice was light but Shepard saw the dark patches under her mother's eyes and the stress etched on her face, "now I'll be able to keep a closer eye on you, try to keep you out of too much trouble and get more regular updates on my grandson."

"Good luck with keeping an eye on me mum and you haven't managed to keep me out of trouble since I could get around under my own steam," Shepard's response was light and also accompanied by a smile but she had no doubt her mother could see the strain just as easily on her daughters face, "and speaking of your grandson I'm uploading some vids that James sent me, mainly sleeping and dribbling." As she was speaking Shepard programmed the uploads and could see her mother focus on something just off screen.

"Oh sleeping and dribbling is good enough for now… is that… what is Veetor...," Shepard cut across her mother's question.

"Dancing, I believe, our nervous reclusive Quarian genius is dancing with the baby trying to get him to sleep or laugh… or wind him," Shepard had joined her mother in chuckling at the images.

"I'll look at them properly later but its business now Lydia I'm afraid," Shepard's mother noticed her daughter pull a slight face at being called by her first name, as usual.

"I thought it would be its fine, it's something to do with Thessia isn't it?" It wasn't just her earlier call with the High Priestess there was something else nagging away just under her conscious mind.

"Yes it is. When you reach Thessia a meeting will be arranged for you with the Matriarch's of the Paranos republic, to all prying eyes a pure formality given your ship is having its refit in their capital city," Captain Shepard paused as she noticed a question forming on her daughters lips.

"I've had a request from Lady Nara El'Estrene to visit her urgently when I get to Thessia and it hasn't got anything to do with Liara, do you think the meetings are linked?"

"Most definitely, and you need to meet with her first, she will brief you on who will be at the meeting in Paranos she may also be attending herself, from the discussions Admiral Hackett has had with Counsellor's Tevos and Anderson it seems that some of the Matriarch's want to meet with you to discuss the Reaper threat.

A best case scenario would be that we gain immediate support from some highly influential and powerful members of the inner group of the Ta'Ra Matriarch's and Priestess's. If nothing else you will meet with representatives of the Asari Matriarch's who, according to Counsellor Tevos, wield the real power across the Asari republics."

"No pressure then," Shepard said and wondered how she would be received by some having killed not only a much respected Matriarch with an honourable family name and history but also a High Priestess, even if Benezia had been under Saren's control.

"Build bridges Commander we need to expand our reach and gain more support against the Reaper threat, Counsellor Tevos can only bring the Matriarchs so far, we need you to bring them the rest of the way," Captain Shepard's face was now set in a fairly good imitation of Hackett's inscrutable look.

"You know I'll always do my best but ma'am I'm a marine, well I'm not even that now," Shepard's face reflected the tension and conflict around her mission outside the Alliance and then continued, "but whatever I am I'm not a diplomat wouldn't this be a meeting better suited to Anderson or the Admiral?" Shepard had reverted to formal address as they were now in a mission discussion.

"We can think of no one better for the job Commander, you have our confidence, you won't let us down," Hannah's eyes softened and she dropped back into their personal connection, "I can only imagine how hard all of this is for you Lydia, being on the outside of all you've known, but remember you are still an Alliance officer in a chain of command."

Shepard shook off the feeling of abandonment and squared her shoulders, "don't mind me mum just lack of sleep you know I'll do everything I need to for the mission's success," Shepard smiled and continued "I need to grab a couple of hours before we get to Thessia, I'll update you when I've met with the Matriarchs."

"Yes try to get some rest you look terrible, Shepard out," her mother finished speaking with a small smile and nod of the head.

Shepard was left once again watching the image on the comms link fracture until the quantum fragments were too small to see and the bulkhead behind her desk was visible once more.

She moved to the bed, pulled off her boots and laid back. The view from the window above the bed always gave her pause, drawing a deep breath Shepard tried to relax.

Watching the colours dance as the FTL waves played across the hull, then looking past and out to the infinite darkness of space punctuated by pin pricks of light from stars or if she looked further to the right a swathe of colour and texture from a nebula.

Shepard remembered her mediation training and focussed on a good memory, a happy memory to help relax her, but her mind kept skipping from one to another, busy, fractured thoughts… and then nothing…

Warm sand under her feet, the sound of waves gently rolling up the edge of a wide beach backing onto tall cliffs alive with thousands of sea birds coming and going from nests to the sea and back again.

Shepard looked around and saw groups of people, all different races, young and old and everything in between. She noticed a group of Batarian's and was surprised that some of them seemed to be female and with young children, she had never seen Batarian females or children before.

She began walking up the beach looking for someone, who was she looking for… Liara… of course Liara was on the beach somewhere she needed to find her.

And as if she knew it was coming she turned and saw the sky behind her turning black, around her on the beach previously happy relaxed people started screaming in fear but were rooted to the spot.

The dark mist landed on the beach and began moving towards her like a huge curtain and as it reached the frozen screaming people they were desiccated, leaving only dried up husks, faces frozen in a terrorised rigour.

Shepard felt the cold fear unwrap itself in her mind she turned her back and began to run, terror coursing through her veins, fear of the darkness but also a more visceral terror that she wouldn't be able to find Liara.

Her body became heavy not only from the armour she was now wearing but from the effects of her fear, she couldn't get her breath, was too frightened to look behind her, but knew with a devastating certainty that the darkness would destroy her and it was coming for her… chasing her… and destroying all those lives in its wake…

Shepard could feel whatever it was gaining on her and still she couldn't see Liara… then out of the corner of her eye and a little behind her she saw her… standing and just looking at Shepard, not screaming in fear like those all around her.

As Shepard turned and began running towards her everything slowed down, Shepard felt as if she was caught in some kind of stasis field, she wasn't getting any closer to Liara no matter how hard she tried.

Then the darkness edged towards the Asari who was still looking at Shepard with a slightly quizzical, questioning look… Shepard tried to shout but nothing came out… a sea bird screeched overhead and the darkness engulfed Liara.

Shepard heard screaming in her head as she looked into the decimated, ruined face of her love… and as one the sea birds lifted into the sky and headed into the darkness that was still moving towards her… their beaks open wide, the sound of a thousand screeching death calls pounding in her ears and through her head.

"Commander… Commander Shepard" Edi's voice calm as usual but with an edge of urgency, "Commander you seem to be having another night terror."

"Mmm… shit… where… Edi," Shepard sat straight up and squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again to take in the room, "oh yeah sorry Edi, thanks for the wakeup call I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Shepard you do need to get some sleep your current deficit…" before Edi could remind Shepard just how little real sleep she had managed in the past weeks she cut across her.

"Yeah I know Edi… but right now I need to prepare for Thessia. Can you pull up all the information you have about the Ta'Ra Matriarch's, I have some homework to do before we land."

As the Normandy made steady progress towards Thessia Shepard started to work her way through the available intel, but one thought kept drifting into her mind…

'_At some point Shepard you are going to have to try to work out what the frak that dream means… and preferably before we find out first-hand what happens when you stop running away from whatever it is and let it catch up to you…'_


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Day one Normandy refit - Thessia

The docking bay of the Normandy was a hive of activity and the furious pace continued out onto the dry dock that could be seen through open bay doors.

Tash was leaning against the side of the shuttle lighting up one of her thin cigars. She watched Shepard walk out across the dock baseball cap pulled, as she always wore it, low over her eyes.

The battle dress shirt sleeves rolled up just above the elbow may not have been navy issue but the marine wearing it was. Tash took a deep drag on the cigar letting the smoke roll around her mouth and felt the edge of anger and jealousy that had started to come to the surface whenever she was around Shepard.

She'd been avoiding the inevitable catching up conversation that Shepard had been trying to have with her, both as her commanding officer and her cousin, but Tash didn't trust herself, she felt out of control and that could prove deadly.

'_She's still wearing that old chrono… wonder if it still works,_' the glint of sunlight on the silver watch that Shepard was wearing on her wrist had caught Tash's eye and kindled an old memory.

"You look deep in thought Tash, something to do with Shep?" the voice belonged to Kasumi who had moved up next to her and was following her eye line.

"What are you some kind of mind reader," Tash spoke with humour but turned her attention to the scientist, "you don't think I have better things to think about," she smiled down at the elegant and beautiful woman who always wore a hood so finding eye contact was sometimes difficult.

"Oh don't play verbal fencing games with me Tash if you don't want to tell me what you were thinking that's ok," the soft tones of Kas's voice were always easy to listen to and for some reason Tash felt the urge to share the memory that had come up just to connect with something that wasn't tarnished, broken or corrupt.

"The watch she wears sometimes, that old silver thing, she got it on her eighth birthday, it belonged to some long dead Shepard ancestor navy hero, the family is littered with them," Tash could feel a hint of sarcasm or was it disdain and Kas heard it in her voice but she continued, "yeah we were both spending time on Gagarin station.

Well when I say we, LV had only just arrived and only ever stayed for one term of school then she was whisked away back to her mother's ship, while I got to stay in the damned Alliance school without my best friend." Tash had finished her cigar and turned to face Kasumi.

"So you've been close all your lives?" Kas's voice was curious but also quiet as if she knew she was asking about something that could be difficult.

"Yeah you could say that… we were more like sisters, did everything together, kept in touch even when she was being a space monkey with her family… joined the cadets together and went into the Alliance together," Tash felt emotions stirring that had long since been buried and she tried to shake them off.

"But you seem to be avoiding her, on the Normandy I mean, since you joined us, that's hard to do even for the for the short time you've been aboard," it wasn't a question it was an observation, an accurate one and once again Tash felt compelled to respond.

"Yeah well maybe I'm not ready to see the look of disappointment and disgust in the eyes of the only person left in the galaxy who has any time for me…" this time Tash couldn't keep the emotion out of her voice and it was a mix of anger and loss but she changed her tone and demeanour once the words were spoken, "hell beautiful you're going to think I actually have some depth if we carry on this conversation, but don't worry I'm just feeling sorry for myself."

Tash moved close and ran a finger down the soft cheek as Kas raised her head and their eyes met, "but if it's gonna help getting into your pants then sure I'm all broken and sad so if you want to heal me we could hit my bunk and have a good time," the Tash that Kas had seen since their first meeting her was back in place and she couldn't help but smile.

"Well we both know that is your very best defence mechanism but I can see through it Tash, apart from the fact you are not my type, you need a friend more than you need another casual encounter, so when you're ready, I'll be here," Kas moved past Tash and walked towards the elevator at the back of the docking bay.

Tash watched her go and the cold, hard barrier inside her that stopped anyone getting close was back in place and she cursed herself for sharing even the little she had.

'_Time to hit Omega and remember just who you really are now'_, Tash thought as she also headed to the Normandy elevator.

* * *

Shepard walked out from the Normandy shuttle deck into the bright Thessian sunshine the conversation she had just had with Tash still rolling around her mind.

She was giving as much leave to everyone she could but Shepard thought that Tash would have wanted to take the opportunity to work with her new ground squad, starting to turn them into a tight marine unit.

Instead Tash wanted to run off to Omega, women, drugs and whatever else passed as relaxation for her cousin now. Shepard was also frustrated that she hadn't managed to pin Tash down for a proper conversation but short of ordering the damn woman to her cabin and making her sit there an answer questions she was having no success.

'_I guess when she's ready she'll talk… but I need to know if I can trust her… dammit I need to know what all these years bumming around the Terminus system as a hired gun has done to her,_' Shepard's thoughts were tinged with sadness and regret.

Tash had always felt like her sister rather than her cousin even with the family rifts and difficulties they had always managed to spend time together, helped each other grow up. Shepard always regretted not going after Tash when she washed out of the Alliance, but Tash had never tried to contact her either.

It had been almost six months before Shepard had any decent leave available and by that time Tash couldn't be traced. And her fuck of a father had disowned her because of his precious pride… it ate away at him that his daughter had somehow not only failed but disgraced herself and his brothers daughter was, well, being an exemplary Alliance officer.

'_I bet he's loving the fact that now I've apparently gone rogue… and working with terrorists… I hope I meet him at some point_,' she didn't quite know what she would do, she was still an Alliance officer but a chance to finish that fight they started would be enough for her.

She had reached the waiting shuttle and before she got in she took one last look at the endless blue sky and then back to her beautiful sleek ship, she felt proud of the people she could now call her crew and she felt honoured that she had another chance to fight the coming threat.

Once inside the shuttle she focussed her mind on all the political intel she had been studying to prepare for her meeting with the High Priestess El'Estrene and to distract her from the fact that she would be so close to Liara but would not be able to see her or hear her voice, with a deep sigh she forced her mind back to work.

A little while later Shepard was standing in what looked like a shrine or a small temple. It was a round building set in the Temple grounds surrounded by natural gardens, there was order and she could tell the area was maintained but in such a way that allowed for nature to take its own course, so long as it was aesthetically pleasing, always, the Asari had eyes only for beauty.

The small Temple was made from some kind of cream stone, its domed roof allowing for the sight of the sky through large open spaces between its highly decorated arches.

In the centre of the room stood what looked like an enormous coffin, made out of the same stone, with Asari writing and symbols all over it, and a ball of biotic energy danced just above it, pulsing and weaving with every shade of blue she had ever seen, it seemed almost… alive.

The walls of the temple were decorated with pictures, carved and then coloured, glorious colour almost holographic, she had a feeling biotic energy had been not only used but remained as part of the scenes that obviously depicted stories from Asari history and myth.

And stunningly beautiful though the Temple was to look at it was the atmosphere, the energy in the place that meant it was like no other space she had been in before.

What she felt was complete peace and safety, rolling over her skin, across her mind and into her soul.

Shepard felt as if she had been standing there for a very long time, her eyes taking in the stories on the walls and all the while feeling completely at peace.

As her eyes settled on the High Priestess who hadn't moved from the doorway she felt herself 'wake up' from that deep state of calm and connection.

"There are very few Asari who know this Temple exists and even fewer who have been allowed to visit, and absolutely no non Asari know of it.

This is our gift to you Shepard, we will perform a ritual here that will help strengthen you spirit," El'Estrene smiled at Shepard and again she not only saw the smile but felt its warmth and compassion flow through her.

"Who is in the coffin," Shepard's voice was low and quiet not wanting to disturb the peace and although now more in the present moment she still felt what the room had to offer.

"The remains of the first High Priestess of the Siari path who, it is written, reached a level of complete… enlightenment is the closest translation that we have for your language.

The biotic energy above her final resting place is believed to contain not only her essence and spirit but also a fragment of the universal consciousness that she joined with." The Priestess moved further into the room and stood facing Shepard.

"You are aware that our belief is 'All is One', and we hold to certain core truths that the universe is a consciousness, every life within it is an aspect of the greater whole, and death is a merging of one's spiritual energy back into the greater universal consciousness," El'Estrene noted the understanding in Shepard eyes and continued,

"We don't specifically believe in reincarnation; but we believe that spiritual energy returned to the universal consciousness upon death will eventually be used to fill new mortal vessels."

"Well if what I'm feeling in this room is what waits on the other side then it doesn't feel too bad," Shepard realised just how much she craved the peace and clarity that she was feeling in that moment and just how much damage to her psyche she was carrying.

El'Estrene smiled this time with sadness, "I fear your path is to stay here, return here, until your task is complete even if it takes more than one lifetime," the Priestess noticed the resistance to this notion in Shepard and continued, "but I can offer something that may help your journey, especially while you travel without your soul mate."

At the thought of Liara Shepard almost cried on the spot, she felt so open and vulnerable but unusually she didn't feel as if she had to hide her feelings or that they were a weakness.

"I would like to join with you Shepard and use a technique to anchor two memories that give you the same kind of peace, safety and clarity that is here in the Temple; you will be able to slip into the memories as if they were real and… happening again… you will be able to truly relive them.

This should help you with sleeping and the night terrors you face, they will not cure but they will give you peace for a time and the ability to sleep for some of the night at least." El'Estrene had moved to the side of the coffin or vessel as the translation now seemed more appropriate.

"How do you know about the night mares and lack of sleep," for a moment Shepard felt the edge of concern, how did the Priestess know.

"I can sense the weariness and also flashes of what you hold back from your conscious mind, and don't forget I am working with Liara who has been touched by the same events, carries the same damage.

Forgive me if I am blunt Shepard but you have nothing to fear from me or any at this Temple," the smile was genuine and warmth once again washed over Shepard's tired and fretful mind.

"Anything that can help would be welcome, what do I need to do."

"Stand opposite me, so that we have the vessel between us, I will reach out and join with you through the spirit of Siari, and then you will choose two memories that I will anchor and… perhaps it is best described as turning the memory from an unmoving picture into a full 3d experience that you will be able to immerse yourself in."

They moved into position and as El'Estrene brought the palms of her hands up as if to warm them on the ball of energy Shepard did the same. The Priestess's eyes turned black as she said the familiar words, "Embrace Eternity."

Shepard heard music and felt a familiar body in her arms, Liara, they were dancing, it was the New Year party, that dress, that smile, and then heads together, moving slowly to the rhythm of the music and their own hearts.

She started singing in Liara ear, softly…_'come away with me in the night, come away with me and I will write you a song'_… that was the moment she got closest to asking Liara to marry her, be her bond mate.

Their bodies moving as one completely in tune with each other, Liara's head tucked into Shepard's neck, one arm around her lovers' waist the other holding a soft blue hand up against her chest.

They swayed and it was as if they were one, _'and I want to walk with you on a cloudy day, in fields where the yellow grass grows knee high, so won't you try, to come, come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountain top, come away with me and I'll never stop loving you_.'

Shepard pulled her head back as she finished singing and Liara looked up locking eyes completely oblivious to the rest of the room, the galaxy the universe… she bent down and they kissed softly, full of love and longing… Shepard felt bliss in that moment.

Then she was laying down on a blanket, Liara's body next to her, holding hands and looking up at a perfect night sky, sprinkled with stars and a drift of nebulae its gasses forming a long sweep of colour.

They were on their holiday; again Shepard was so close to asking Liara to bond with her, suggesting they build a home there on that glorious planet, together.

It seemed time stood still as they just laid there together in quiet peaceful connection she had never felt so connected to another being or to herself.

She listened to their breathing, their hearts beating, feeling the warmth of their love… slowly drifting off into a peaceful sleep, together.

And then she slowly recognised her surroundings were once again the Temple, but the ball of energy in front of her had expanded and had filled the whole space, dancing across the walls, the colours like a rainbow but flowing and weaving and then suddenly compressing back into the space between her and the Priestess.

"That was… unexpected… although knowing how strong your bond is I should not be surprised," El'Estrene spoke but Shepard had the impression she was really thinking out loud.

"That was… real… and what do you mean unexpected?" Shepard asked as they moved away from the vessel and its dancing biotic energy.

"When we were working with Liara on the same technique she went to the same memories, as I say I should have expected something of this nature. You try to reach her don't you, with your heart your spirit?"

Shepard looked a little embarrassed, "um yeah… its stupid I know… but sometimes, I don't know it feels like some kind of call… I don't have words for it," Shepard actually looked at her feet.

"Shepard you must always answer that call, it is the call of the soul, the spirit, you reach out into the dark and bring light, just keep doing whatever you have been doing.

And now let us talk in the gardens before you head off to Larissa to have your tattoos replaced," the Priestess couldn't help laughing at Shepard's confused expression and continued, "no Shepard I cannot read your mind, news travels on Thessia as it does anywhere else.

The great Commander Shepard making an appointment with one of Thessia's greatest body artists with very specific requests, perhaps you will be adding a few words from Siari?"

"Already chosen them," Shepard smiled and replaced both her cap and her glasses as they reached the entrance and moved through into the sun.

"The meeting has been arranged for three days' time and I will be attending. I'm afraid those present will want to see the messages from the beacons themselves but it will be a joint melding and I will protect you from the worst of your visions.

Four Matriarch's and two other High Priestess's want to meet with you, the number may seem small Shepard but they are amongst the most influential, it is a good start." El'Estrene walked slowly through the gardens Shepard at her side listening as the Priestess shared some of the discussion she had had with her fellow Priestess's and Matriarchs.

Shepard could see the shuttle a little way further off, they had completed their conversation about the upcoming meeting but the High Priestess stopped and was looking at Shepard intensely.

"May we talk a little about the Reapers," Shepard turned and nodded so the Priestess continued, "How do you see them Shepard, their motivation."

"Not sure I care to much about what drives them, and I only see them as evil, unfeeling machines hell bent on destroying sentient life in the galaxy," Shepard frowned not sure she had grasped what the Priestess had really asked her.

"Not all sentient life, only those who have reached a certain technological level, interstellar travel and artificial intelligence?" the Priestess had a questioning look but Shepard knew she had seen her conversation with Sovereign when they melded.

"Yes that's right, but from what Sovereign said they deliberately seeded the galaxy with the technology they want us to find and so the outcome is inevitable, our destiny is pre-set," Shepard's tone was even but the edge of anger was there as it always was when she thought about the Reaper's.

"A little like farmers, most of the races in the galaxy in their past have farmed other sentient being, some still do. And if we look at what happened to the Krogan, the Drell, even now some discussion about a newly discovered biotic insect, all these are examples of one race of sentient beings taking control of another's destiny, for their own purposes.

The Reapers merely sow the seeds and then reap the rewards, some might see this as the natural order, the predator at the top of the food chain, inevitable, part of the cycle," El'Estrene was studying Shepard and could sense the difficulty the human was having with her rage against the Reapers.

"To hate them, to hate what they do is understandable, but to call them evil to do only what they have been created to do… would you call the eagle evil for hunting and killing a rabbit… surely Commander there is more evil in the deeds of sentient beings in this galaxy who have a choice yet feed off the misery of those weaker than they are… who torture fellow sentients for profit or amusement?"

"Of course but how does this help to fight them… we can't negotiate with them… they won't stop no matter what we offer them…" the desperation of that knowledge showed in Shepard's voice and her demeanour.

"To know motivation can offer an opportunity to find weakness or other allies, and if they are as powerful as they seem to be we will need all the knowledge and information we can gather.

Do not be blinded by rage or fear Shepard we can either defeat them or we cannot but it will take every kind of resource we have in the galaxy and perhaps more, I only ask that you seek any knowledge about them, seeking the power to be able to destroy them may not be enough, remain open to any ideas that will help this cycle either to defeat them or to survive."

El'Estrene doubted if her words would have an immediate effect on Shepard but it was important that hope did not die within the human and the Commander knew more than anyone at this point how hopeless their task was.

They began walking again in silence and Shepard tried to get a different perspective on the enemy that faced her.

They reached Shepard's shuttle and the High Priested made the Siari blessing for parting which Shepard returned. She looked past El'Estrene to the building behind, somewhere inside was her Liara, in paid and fighting to come back to her, fighting to come back to herself.

A wave of grief and sadness washed over her, and frustration, Shepard wanted to fight something for Liara, with Liara... but this was a battle that her soul mate had to fight on her own.

"She is not completely alone Shepard, you are here and when you reach out for her I believe she can feel your love," El'Estrene moved forwards and gave Shepard a warm strong hug.

Shepard smiled at the Priestess as they parted, "thank you, I honestly think we would both be lost without your guidance."

Then she was aboard the shuttle heading for Larissa to replace the signs and symbols that she had collected over her short lifetime and that she truly believed had meaning for her even if they didn't have mystical power, _'but you didn't die Shepard… you should have but you didn't_.

Shepard thoughts once again went to her 'death', but as she laid her head back against the seat, faintly, in the distance, or perhaps it was just the sound of the shuttles engines, music… she relaxed… then she slipped into a peaceful, terror free sleep for the three hour journey to the capital of Thessia.

* * *

Tash had changed out of her Normandy battle dress uniform and into her old civvies. Leather jeans and jacket, a high end kinetic barrier, on her belt, that would give enough protection from a surprise attack at close quarters. She packed her hand cannon on one hip and modified shotgun on the other.

When she put on her dark glasses she looked every bit the merc she was and headed for the cities space port to pick up a scheduled flight to Omega. Before got on board her flight she had already taken stims, a dust of x3 and had her supply of hallex in her pocket.

Tash had not taken any drugs the whole time she'd been on the Normandy but she wanted to get back into character for Omega and that seemed harder than it ever had been.


	35. Chapter 35

A/N First a warning that there is sexiness in this chapter, it will be explicit but you've already been on that journey with me before so you should know what to expect. And a very big thank you to Rae, for looking the sex scene bit over.

As always your feedback is most welcome and thank you for continuing the journey with this particular Shepard and Liara

Chapter 35

Day 2 Normandy refit – Omega

The deep throbbing pulsating beat hit her body as soon as she moved up to the entrance; she didn't need to wait in line.

Tash was known, she was one of Aria's merc's and, more importantly, she was one of Liselle's lover's.

With a nod to the Batarian and Turian door guards she moved into the long corridor leading to the main floor of Afterlife. The electronic techno beat fitting her mood which was bolstered with Videlicet and Elasa the only liquor available on the flight from Thessia.

Tash moved with practised ease through the crowds who were waiting to be served at the bar. She continued on along the edge of the dance floor, her eyes searching for only one person, one very particular Asari.

Then she caught sight of Liselle dancing with her usual group of friends, Tash elbowed her way through until she put herself directly in Liselle's eye line; and when the Asari saw her the reaction was just what she hoped for.

"Tasha you bastard your back," with a huge smile the Asari launched herself at the smiling Tash who held her arms open.

They fell into a long and very passionate kiss; Tash could feel the heat of lust rising through her body, a lust that was returned.

When they broke apart the little group broke away, but as she was about to speak a human male came towards them with drinks in his hand. Tash caught the slight shake of Liselle head and he redirected himself to a booth on the side of the dance floor.

Tash wasn't going to let anything get in the way of their reunion but she stored it away for later, instead she leaned in and said, "I've missed you gorgeous how about we do some catching up, in private."

With a smile Liselle caught hold of Tash's hand and lead her off the dance floor. She had the use of a suite of rooms in the club and they headed for one of the private exits at the back of the room.

Neither of them noticed Aria watching them from her usual balcony above the dance floor. Her face was unreadable but when she sat back down she called Grizz, one of her Turian guards, over to speak to her.

"When Mikhailovich surfaces from her visit with Liselle I want to see her, and Grizz be discreet." The big Turian nodded and left to take up a position with a view of the exit from the private apartments.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once they were in her apartment, Liselle started to undress Tash. She removed her jacket and weapons, and then pulled at her shirt, almost ripping it apart. All the time, they continued moving towards the bedroom.

Throwing Tash down on the bed, Liselle finished undoing the buttons on the leather trousers and pulled them off in one fluid motion, leaving her standing as she looked down at her lover.

"Hey, beautiful, am I the only one getting my clothes off?" Tash drawled, still slightly drunk, but sobering up fast.

In answer, Liselle flicked a control and the music from the main dance floor poured into the room. She began removing her clothes, dancing at the same time. Tash watched her with hungry eyes. Every move, every curve, she knew intimately, and she knew what was coming.

Once naked, Liselle finished undressing Tash and knelt above her, leaning down so their breasts were touching. She kissed the human - hard, wanting, needy kisses. Tash moved her hands to Liselle's hips and encouraged the movement that her lover had started. Rubbing their heat against each other, feeling the ripples of sensation as they put pressure on their hardened clits, their wetness growing with expectation.

Liselle cupped one of Tash's breasts while flicking her thumb across its hard nipple, her other hand playing through fair hair as they continued to exchange deep tongued kisses. Their breath came in short gasps, hearts pounding, bodies tingling with expectation.

Finally, Liselle broke away. She sat back up on her knees and traced a line with her fingers from Tash's mouth down between heaving breasts, past the hard muscled stomach to a point just above the hairline of her cunt and felt with a finger for a slight indentation. Then, with a knowing smile, she pushed.

The implant triggered a six inch haptic interfaced dildo, covering and providing full sensory feedback to Tash's clit. This had been a very expensive present from Liselle, and it was programmed only to activate on her touch.

Liselle eyed the extension and smiled, she reached down with her hand, her fingers not quite meeting around its girth. Tash let out a low moan that stayed in the back of her throat as she felt Liselle's hand tighten around the shaft.

Liselle began pumping her hand up and down, feeling the skin like cover move over the hard, hot and throbbing cock, as Tash had named it.

The Asari shifted her weight slightly and moved backwards so that she could bend forward. As she moved her mouth closer to the hot and pulsing tip of the shaft Liselle felt her lover's body stiffen under her.

Tash sought out Liselle's eyes which were shifting to black and watched her lover's mouth open to enclose her hard and sensitive cock. Tash felt Liselle's presence in her mind and then, as their nervous systems aligned, throughout her body.

They began to feel their desires, needs, and pleasure reflected, their need for release echoed in each other.

Liselle took the shaft into her mouth bobbing her head up and down, allowing her lips and the edge of her teeth to slide up and down the length of the warm and hard cock.

Through the meld Tash could feel the empty space at Liselle's core, the need to bury Tash deep inside her, to ride her until they both came. If she could have reached Tash would have buried her fingers deep and hard into Liselle's hot, wet, centre.

As Tash thought it Liselle also felt the desire and doubled her efforts taking the whole of the cock inside her mouth, it's sensitive tip now hitting the back of her throat on every downward movement.

They both felt the climax building as Tash put her hands on the back of Liselle's head pushing in rhythm with her movement, her hips coming up to meet the hungry blue lipped mouth. Tash's fingers working the sensitive, erogenous areas of her lovers crest.

Then with a final rush of release Tash felt the orgasm explode from the tip of the shaft and ripple down its length and across her body at the same time Liselle's answering orgasm exploded through her body.

Liselle sucked a little to make sure she had drained her lover of cum and then sat up a satisfied look on her face, "and who does this belong to Tash?" she said with predatory grin.

"All yours darlin… all yours," Tash was still feeling both her and Liselle's aftershocks. They were still in the meld and Tash had a pretty good idea of what was coming next.

"And you're hard whenever I want you…" as Liselle was speaking she moved up onto her knees and positioned herself above the still hard and throbbing shaft. With her left hand she guided the tip to her hot and very wet entrance, stroking it along her slit and up onto her 'clit a few times before lowering herself down and burying the whole of the cock inside her.

A gasp escaped Tash's lips as Liselle moaned in pleasure. Moving slowly, Liselle worked backwards and forwards, both of them feeling the building sensations rolling through their bodies.

Tash watched as Liselle moved over her, head thrown back, her beautiful neck exposed. She could feel the Asari all around her cock, feel herself moving across the small ridges inside her lovers centre, could feel her hard, sensitive clit inside Liselle.

In unison, they changed movement now, Liselle moving up and down on the shaft, Tash's hands on her hips encouraging her to move more quickly. Tash raised her hips to meet her lover on the downward stroke with an added thrust.

They could feel their heat, the wet spilling from Liselle's core and building up in Tash's cock.

Her hands moved from the Asari's hips to her breasts and felt them move against her palms as Liselle rocked against her heat. Through the meld they both felt the rising tension, the need for release, and the pleasure flashing through their bodies. She began to lose the sense of where she ended and her lover began.

They were well matched as lovers, enjoying hard physical sex with plenty of variation, and sometimes even game playing. But tonight, there was no need of games. They had missed each other. Tonight, it was about want and satisfaction.

Tash knew Liselle was close to coming so she flipped her onto her back and began to move in and almost out of her lover with more and more urgency. Liselle drew her knees back to allow her lover as deep inside her core as possible.

Liselle grabbed a handful of Tash's hair, and in turn, Tash held her lover's throat, the pain only adding to their excitement.

They came together in a crashing release of passion as their joint orgasm ripped through them.

Tash raised herself onto her elbows but remained buried inside Liselle as she sought out her lovers lips. This time their kisses were softer, tongues playfully teasing, their hunger for each other satisfied, for now.

"I really have been used to you being her this past year Tasha, if you start making me miss you I will have to hurt you." Liselle's words were playful and she smiled but Tash felt the edge of the feelings that Liselle had for her. That, if Tash was really honest with herself, she also had for Liselle.

But they pushed them away, denied them; both knowing to acknowledge them would create a shit storm of problems for both of them.

"Yeah well just remember I'm your favourite, reliable, go-to screw buddy, so whenever you need a good fuck, you make sure you call me." Tash didn't want to think about the others that Liselle had sex with.

This possessiveness Tash was feeling was completely new. They always told each other in detail about their sexual conquests, it often added to their own sexual activity.

But something inside Tash was changing. It was as if all the compartments she lived her life in were breaking apart and merging into one very fucked up whole.

"Geez I'm thirsty, that's your fault pulling all that juice of me, can I get you something," Tash asked as she slowly and gently withdrew from inside Liselle's warm, soft core.

The movement drew a soft moan from her lover and a catch of breath in her own throat.

Tash got up to get them a drink, but once back in bed, it wasn't long before they started again. Liselle found Tash's heat with her fingers, and it was only after they had explored each other and climaxed four more times that they fell into exhausted sleep.

Liselle felt herself coming back to consciousness and rolled over onto her back. Through squinting eyes, she looked at the light spilling from the bathroom and the silhouette of a figure outlined there.

Tash leaned one shoulder against the doorframe with a cigar between her lips and a crooked smile, arms crossed and still naked.

"Didn't want to smoke in bed. Sorry if I woke you, Leese." Tash's deep voice was unusually soft.

"I don't care if you smoke in bed, you know that. What the hell time is it?" Liselle looked at the display on the bedside table. It was almost lunchtime.

"Mmmm, that was some homecoming, but I'm still pissed that you took off with just a vid message. You always tell me when you're off on one of your private jobs. And why the hell didn't you ever tell me you were related to Shepard? I had to hear that from Aria." Liselle had sat up, and her tone was light, but Tash could hear real annoyance in her voice.

Tash moved back to the bed. She sat down with her back to Liselle and tried to get her shit together, but could feel her self control slipping away.

"Tash when we met five years ago you were a fuckin mess, slipping into serious drug taking, taking stupid risks, almost like you had a death wish… you were never any good at talking about anything but you let me in… I know you have this big wall inside, you have some kind of big fuckin secret thing going on and it's all dark and dangerous but you know that's not why we're together… I know you from when we meld… after all this time can you not for the love of the goddess just tell me what's going on because I can feel that destruction in you again," she leaned towards Tash and put a hand on the Human's shoulder, "Tash I'm not just going to sit back and watch you crash and burn so if you aren't going to let me in I don't know if I can do this."

Tash felt herself unravelling in her head, she had almost forgotten the life she had to give up, the woman she had started out as, she'd been left alone by everyone for the last year so she'd almost come to believe this was her life.

Being with Liselle working for Aria, it wasn't a bad life, and she'd even considered trying to cut ties with Cerberus and just living one life, here on Omega… and then the call to this new assignment… smashing into her old life… the life she should have had.

"I feel like my head is in pieces, I don't… Leese I can't keep lying… to you… to everyone… to myself… its shit" she turned so that she would be able to see the reaction in Liselle's eyes; she wanted to see the moment her only piece of sanity was destroyed.

"You know I washed out of the Alliance but what you don't know is why… I was recruited by Cerberus to be an agent inside the Alliance but I got exposed and thrown out… it was all hushed up," she saw a look of shock and then fear in Liselle's eyes.

"So your only with me to spy on Aria… all this was just part of your cover… if Aria finds out she'll kill you or worse," Liselle had moved back away from Tash and in that moment the last piece of Tash's resolve failed her.

"No Leese this was never part of that lie… I'd never do anything to betray you… or Aria for some strange fuckin reason… I did my work for Cerberus when I went on those private jobs… they didn't… I wasn't here for them."

Tash searched Liselle's face for some kind of sign that she would understand, "that's not the whole thing though… Leese I've been under cover for so long I really don't know who I am anymore… or why… meld with me… I'll show you everything, all of it… please?"

Liselle could see only too plainly the pain in Tash's eyes but the revelation that her lover was a Cerberus agent was staggering, she really believed she knew who this woman was at some level, but Cerberus were alien haters, they were racist terrorists, was that who she'd shared her bed with for five years, who she'd trusted in fire fights, who she'd vouched for to her mother.

"I thought I knew you Tasha," Liselle's voice was flat, emotionless and it stung Tash as if she'd been physically hit, "I'll let you show me in a meld, but if I sense your hiding anything then I'm not going to believe anything you say and you'd better get as far away from Omega as you can and never come back because I will tell Aria."

"I've done some terrible things Leese trying to build my cover with Cerberus, shit that I'll never get clean from, but I guess no worse than I've done being a merc…" Tash knew she'd have to let Liselle see it all, the assassinations, the torture; all the things that Cerberus expected from its field agents and what she had to do to 'prove' herself.

So they melded and Tash shared the deepest secret of all… that as soon as Cerberus tried to recruit her she had reported it to her CO, then the meeting with Alliance Intelligence and the double bluff she had been asked to take on.

Having an agent inside Cerberus was something that the Alliance badly needed and the opportunity didn't come around that often, they asked her to do it for the Alliance; it was her duty to serve where she was most needed.

She would be making a huge sacrifice but it would probably not need to be for long… only long enough for her to find out who Cerberus had within Alliance high command.

The young and idealistic Alliance officer agreed and so she said yes to Cerberus.

The Alliance plan was that within a short space of time she would be exposed and thrown out of the Alliance. She would then be taken inside Cerberus and would need to work her way up to a position of trust with the Illusive Man.

And that's what she did and had been doing but instead of being under cover for months or even a couple of years her Alliance handler kept telling her to stay as she hadn't infiltrated enough.

She pleaded to be let back in, that Cerberus was built on cells, that the likelihood of her ever being in a position to know the kind of information they wanted was probably never going to happen.

But they just kept telling her to stay and wait because the information she was able to give them was useful.

Tash had been through two handlers now and the last one didn't even bother to recognise her status, she was an Intelligence asset nothing more, there was nothing for her to come back to.

He had implied she would be treated like a traitor as she worked for Cerberus he had no record of the 'deal' she had made when she had been thrown out of the Alliance… apparently her dismissal from the Alliance had been covered up so well that the records really did say it was for behaviour unbecoming an Alliance officer linked to drug taking.

If Cerberus ever found out she was a double agent they'd kill her in a heartbeat and you don't just leave Cerberus.

Her life, over ten years of her life, who she was, what she thought she was fighting for, everything she believed in all corrupted and torn to pieces… all for nothing… she felt betrayed and used and the only thing that felt real anymore was her life on Omega.

And now that was unravelling being close to Shepard and having what she'd lost staring her in the face every day.

They parted from the meld and Liselle pulled Tash down onto the bed and held her, stroking her hair, "its ok we'll work it out, somehow, what do they want you to do on Shepard's mission?"

"Cerberus seems to be obsessed with LV's relationship with T'Soni. If she comes back on the scene I'm supposed to 'get rid of her' which means set up an accident or make sure she doesn't make it in a fire fight.

Or let one of their people know where she is so they can take her out directly… I can't do that Leese, I won't do that… but what the hell do I do… if it's not me it'll be someone else… but I can't tell LV… I'd have to tell her the whole thing… I'm still under orders shit though they are."

Her words came from a deep place inside her a place where there was still a shred of decency, or honour.

"But if the Alliance has hung you out to dry you don't owe them a thing Tasha they've taken more from you than was fair, they screwed you over you don't owe them a thing… we have to find a way of getting you out of Cerberus then you can be your own master… you can stay here with us on Omega, with me."

Liselle was already thinking of ways she could tell her mother and have her sort it all out. She just had to stop Aria going ballistic about the Cerberus agent bit… but Aria would sort it out, there wasn't anything she couldn't.

They both fell asleep and woke up again late in the afternoon and after a joint shower which lasted much longer than if it had been about just getting clean, they were both finally dressed and ready to venture out for food.

"How soon have you got to head back," Liselle asked.

"Late tomorrow I really shouldn't have left I have a marine squad to train," she smiled at the irony but then remembered the guy from the previous night, "you have to know I noticed that Paul guy coming at you with drinks, so what the hell's going on there?"

"Hey look we've never been exclusive when it comes to sex, and its only because Aria asked me to check him out she's having difficulty with his background, he's still new in Aria's terms so she doesn't trust him."

"But he's been working for her for over a year now… so how long have you got to work for Aria to not be new… and yeah we've had sex with other people but I thought I was your only human… I feel… replaced," she laughed as she spoke as much at her own flash of jealousy as at her joke.

"Oh you will always be my special human," Liselle was laughing too but then in a more serious tone said, "but you do get that we've been together longer than I've been with anyone else… and I must care for you a bit as I'm covering up the fact you've just confessed to working for two of Aria's biggest enemies."

Tash pulled Liselle into an embrace and they kissed and when they parted she said, "now don't get all soft on me Leese you know I'm not girlfriend material," but she said it in a soft tone and their eye's lingered on each other.

"Hum yeah well we'll see, now let's get some food I'm starved."

They went out for food and then spent some time at Tash's apartment before returning to the club much later. They met up with friends and spent time drinking and dancing, Paul Johnson joined them and Tash felt a wave of jealousy which she kept well hidden.

But there was something between them she was sure of it, he made her laugh, he was troubled, with a past, broken, and there was an ease between them, it seemed that was Liselle's type.

Tash pushed the thoughts away she wasn't going to screw up what she had by going all jealous rage, that's not who she was… although if she was honest with herself she was having great difficulty working out just who the fuck she really was anymore given how long she'd been playing a part.

Grizz came up beside her and quietly told her Aria wanted to see her so Tash slipped away and followed the tall Turian up to the Queen of Omega's balcony.

Aria was sitting with her arms outstretched across the back of the long sofa and Tash came to a halt in front of her standing at ease with hands clasped behind her.

"I would expect one of my staff to let me know in advance when they are going to be off working for someone else, especially when that someone is a Council Spectre," Aria's voice was cold her face unreadable and her eyes piercing.

"Sorry boss, but I've always done a bit of freelance… and it's a family thing," Tash smiled trying to work out what Aria's angle was.

"It must be hard for you though, looking at the successful decorated Alliance officer that you weren't good enough to be. The dark sheep, the drop out of the family alongside the shining example of goodness."

The last word was said with a sneer and Tash pushed down the anger that was rising in her.

"Yep hit the nail right on the head there Aria I'm just a masochist I guess, self-torture, nothing like it," she kept her tone light and waited for what Aria was going to ask her to do.

"Well you still work for me Mikhailovich unless you want to give up the benefits of being able to visit Omega and all it has to offer whenever you want."

Aria's tone became even harder and Tash thought she saw something else flash momentarily in her eyes. "So I want you to let me exactly what your cousin is up to, regular reports on who she's meeting with; what she's working on, anything that might be interesting."

"Of course, but I'm still pretty much kept at arm's length, not sure my cousin entirely trusts me… but I'll tell you everything I know," Tash didn't like the threat but she wasn't going to front up to Aria, right now Omega was the only home Tash had and she wasn't going to risk it for anyone.

Back downstairs she caught another glimpse of Paul Johnson and this time she saw the way he was looking at Liselle, she knew that look and he'd slept with her, Tash was sure of it… after all that's what 'checking out' meant in Aria's terms. Pillow talk and a sense from the meld if you're smart enough and Liselle was certainly smart enough except she hadn't know that Tash was a threat so if Johnson was some kind of plant would she know.

Tash had training, with the Alliance and Cerberus to block her mind off, shield its secrets and so would Johnson if he was an agent, she might just find out if he was Cerberus, then she could hand him up to Aria if he was, get in her good books and remove the competition at the same time.

For now she would play nice and enjoy the rest of her visit, she had no idea when she'd get back.

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Day 3 Normandy refit – Thessia

Shepard had just got back to the Normandy from her meeting with the Matriarch's and Priestess's and was exhausted. The joining had been difficult as they wanted to see each of the beacons and her conversation with Sovereign. Then there were the discussions and questions.

But it had gone well and they had agreed to meet with Hackett and Anderson to discuss how they could form what in effect would be a shadow council.

There were some big questions still outstanding. How they would ensure its secrecy and expand its membership to include representatives from all the Council races, but it was real progress.

Shepard was in the process of taking off her boots when her door buzzer sounded and she reluctantly called "come in if it's really important".

It was Miranda who came in through the door and most unusually looked really upset.

"What in heaven's name if the matter Miranda, come and sit down," Shepard stood up and motioned towards the sofa, "can I get you a drink, Serrice brandy?"

"I… oh… perhaps yes a small brandy… I'm so sorry but I didn't know… I don't have anyone else to turn to…" the women sat down on the sofa and took the glass when Shepard offered it.

"Commander I have a twin sister… and my father has been looking for her ever since I managed to get her away from him. I could only do it with the help of the Illusive Man and up till now he kept his word to protect her and help me keep her whereabouts a secret from my father.

But things have changed… I've… well the Illusive Man doesn't have as much trust and confidence in me as he once did… I'm afraid my work on you… I didn't share it with him, but he found out I was keeping some of my best research from him… and then the baby… well."

"Slowly Miranda take it slowly… what's happened to your sister," Shepard tried to calm down the scientist who she was shocked to see unravelling before her eyes.

"He's found out, my father's found out where my sister's family is and I've managed to get them to a place of safety temporarily… but I need a solution and I'm sure the Illusive Man is sending me a message and if I ask him for his help…

Well I just don't trust him anymore and now I don't know how to protect her.

I can be open and tell you this in your quarters because I know you've cut the Cerberus feed and you've been interfering with their monitoring of other sensitive areas. I'm good at what I do Commander, but I haven't said anything and I won't," Miranda looked at Shepard and there was fire in her eyes but also an unspoken pleading.

"I'll do anything I can to help, we can work something out. I'll get working on it straight away… try not to worry… are they safe where they are do you need us to go get them?"

"They will be fine for a few days, they are on Illium, thank you Shepard I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you… but you do need to know something… please forgive me but it was always about protecting my sister.

Your cousin, Tash is a Cerberus agent here to watch me because they are worried about my loyalty but also with a mission to kill Liara," Miranda's eyes were now filled with fear as Shepard's face and her entire demeanour changed at the mention of Liara.

"And your only telling me now Miranda… for fucks sake you could have told me just to warn me… and would you have just stood by and let Liara be in danger so long as Harper could hold your sisters safety over your head," Shepard had stood up and was pacing backwards and forwards fists clenched rage coursing through her body.

"I'm so sorry Shepard; I really don't think I would have stayed silent if Liara ever came into danger. But she's very ill isn't she and you're not even together anymore.

I understand if you don't want to help me but please for my sisters sake she's innocent in all this," Miranda was on the verge of tears as she watched the enraged woman in front of her.

"Do I look like Jack fucking Harper…? I won't not help you just because you've been blackmailed by that monster and I won't let harm come to innocent people.

I'm just disappointed that you thought I wouldn't understand or that I wouldn't help you Miranda," Shepard sat back down and poured herself a large shot of brandy and finished it in one swallow.

"Right I'll get straight on sorting out a safe place and new identity and all that stuff for you sister and her family, I'll need details… but Miranda I need you to behave as if nothing has happened… you don't give any sign that you've told me about Tash… you carry on as normal and you leave her to me… I'll deal with that problem personally."

After Miranda had left Shepard turned back to the brandy and poured another glass, '_so that was what she was hiding I knew I could sense something… I can't believe it… but Miranda wouldn't lie… and I'll certainly ask my dear cousin if it's true and why she became a fuckin traitor right before I put a bullet in her head_.'

Shepard finished the bottle and passed out on the sofa still reeling from the news that Miranda had given her, still in a rage and still swearing vengeance not only on Tash but also on her puppet master… Jack Harper.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Day 5 Normandy refit – Nos Astra, Illium

Shepard had gone to Councillor Anderson for advice as to how best to secure safety for Miranda's sister and her family.

Councillor Anderson suggested that the help Shepard needed for Miranda would be best provided by the Salarian STG, and fortunately both Anderson and Shepard had some favours they could call in.

It wasn't that they didn't trust Alliance help but they just didn't know how infiltrated the Alliance was with Cerberus sympathisers or how much money Henry Lawson would throw at previously loyal personnel.

Once in contact with the Salarian liaison officer Shepard was told that Miranda's father had already hired merc's to grab his daughter as soon as they surfaced on Illium and headed for the sky port.

That had been a day ago and the arrangements for the families transfer to a new safe location with new identities were in place.

With the Normandy still finishing her refit on Thessia Shepard and her team had borrowed one of the T'Soni estates small, fast frigates.

Once docking was complete at Nos Astros Shepard and her team took the waiting shuttle, courtesy of the STG, and headed straight for the cargo bay where the merc's temporary headquarters were located.

The plan was simple. As soon as Shepard engaged the merc's the Salarian's would escort and protect the family to a private shuttle bay and from there to a Salarian military ship and away out of reach of either Cerberus or Lawson.

They didn't know for sure how many merc's they would be facing but Shepard couldn't risk arriving with a full marine squad as this would have provoked too much interest.

Shepard did a final check with her team on-board the shuttle; she had chosen Miranda, who had insisted on coming anyway, Skark, Garrus and Tash.

Since her return Shepard had kept well away from Tash unsure as to whether she could keep her anger under control and she knew it would be a test fighting alongside her, but the mission was her main focus and that had to take precedence.

Their shuttle touched down in a far corner of what looked like quite a busy cargo area; up ahead the tell-tale signs of merc activity were clear.

A relaxed picket line of Turians, Batarian's and Asari were visible in front of a large container that served as office space and where the bulk of the merc team were probably relaxing waiting for the call to action.

Shepard spoke quietly into her OT on the channel to the Salarian STG Captain who was in charge of the family detail.

"We're in position and about to engage, they must have look outs on all the sky port concourses so you may still have some action your end," Shepard and the Captain had been through this in detail but she just wanted to make absolutely clear they all knew how this was likely to go down.

"We are expecting that Spectre, your package will be delivered safely you have my word," the Salarian's voice was steady and he kept the note of irritation to a minimum, he was STG after all, they did not fail.

"Thank you Captain, I'll leave my comm channel open so you can hear our progress, Shepard out."

She turned to her squad and began to draw up a plan.

"Garrus I want you to work your way forward and get some height I need you to watch for any of them trying to make a break for the sky port once they get the call from their spotter.

Skark and Miranda get forward, using the cargo on the left as cover, as fast as you can and use you biotics to rip that unit apart and hopefully we'll catch most of them inside.

Tash you're with me and we'll be walking straight down the throat of the welcoming party drawing their attention and taking them down.

We'll wait for Garrus to get into position then we move." Shepard watched Garrus make his way off to the right to move in a wide loop around the waiting mercs, then five minutes later she heard him come through on her comms.

"All set Shepard, looks like at least fifteen of them hanging around outside the unit still can't see how many are inside," his voice was soft and quiet.

"Right Skark, Miranda get started making your way down through cover, Tash let's see how close we get just wandering up all nonchalant like," despite herself she smiled at Tash forgetting for a moment the treachery between them.

She hardened her face and said, "move out," Skark and Miranda disappearing off to the right; Shepard and Tash moving out into clear view and walking slowly forwards.

Shepard had removed her helmet and was wearing her Normandy baseball cap, Tash was bare headed as usual with a cigar held firmly between her lips.

They both held their weapons loosely across their arms, fingers already on triggers, Tash was going to start with her M37 Falcon and then equip the Revenant while Shepard nursed her Typhoon set for incendiary ammo.

As they strolled towards the line of merc's a few of the Turians stopped talking and turned in their direction.

"We'll give it another few paces then you hit them with a spray of grenades I'll cover you while you equip the M76 and we'll split left and right and hold tight to the wall of cargo," Shepard spoke quietly smiling keeping it casual.

Still the merc's did little more than continue to look in their direction, then on Shepard's mark they both swung their weapons into a firing position and the sound of gunfire and exploding grenades blocked out the sounds of cranes and conveyor belts.

Tash got seven rounds off before any gunfire was returned; she laid down most of the grenades across the front line of the merc's but fired a couple deeper.

Before the smoke had cleared the noise of the M76 sparked up almost drowning out Shepard's Typhoon.

They split apart and kept up a storm of high velocity slugs, tungsten tipped from the Revenant and the tell-tale incendiary from Shepard only too clear on the merc's she hit.

The merc's had pulled themselves together and the few that remained from the original guard line were joined by a stream coming out from the office unit.

Just as the hail of return fire increased and began pinging off both their shields Shepard heard a Krogan battle roar accompanied by a comm message from Miranda confirming they had made it to the merc's office container and were in the process of tearing it apart.

Shepard kneeled down to get off some more tightly aimed shots but Tash kept moving forwards at a slow pace never letting up the fire storm from her rifle.

She noticed Tash taking some serious damage to her shields and called across to tell her to slow down, but the woman seemed oblivious and Shepard stood back up and began moving forward again to catch up.

The return fire from the barrier suddenly dropped away and both Shepard and Tash stopped firing and began moving forward a little more quickly, they could still hear the noises of fighting coming from the office unit on their left, and saw the tell-tale biotic light show, weapons fire echoed from inside as well.

Just as they cleared the merc line and were about to go help Skark and Miranda, Garrus called through the comms, "Shepard I couldn't take them all down, you have a group of six, all Asari commandos heading for the lifts on the other side of the cargo bay."

"Copy that Garrus, come down and help Skark and Miranda finish up here I don't want any more of them to get away," Shepard turned to Tash and said, "come on we have to catch them up before they get up onto the concourse levels."

They both stowed their assault rifles and started to run in the direction Garrus had indicated.

Reaching a more tightly packed area with larger containers pilled at times three high they needed to make a sharp left turn and could see a right turn coming up, Shepard slowed to a walk and pulled out her M27 Scimitar, Tash equipped an Executioner.

Shepard glanced over and raised an eyebrow at the weapon which was a merc favourite and Tash only returned the smile with a shrug of the shoulders.

When they got to the end of the container Shepard indicated that she would roll out and across to the other wall while Tash started covering fire.

Their instincts were good as the merc's had left two Asari commandos waiting for them to turn the corner. But low roll and fire from cover surprised them momentarily giving both Tash and Shepard the chance to get hits on both merc's.

Though they didn't take the mercs out with their first shots it evened the odds a little and Shepard managed to get another hit on one of the Asari knocking her off her feet and as she fell backwards Shepard knew the hit would be fatal.

As Tash stood out from cover to get off another shot she got hit with a slam that lifted her off her feet and threw her backwards against one of the containers.

Shepard could see Tash was stunned and her shields were down, the remaining Asari made ready to finish off her prey.

Instinctively Shepard ran across and put herself between the remaining Asari and the floored Tash, firing off a round just as the Asari prepared to send a killer biotic hit.

Shepard's round hit her target just before she could finish sending the attack; and as the shotgun round hit the Asari full in the chest she was slammed backwards sending her biotic hit up towards the ceiling.

She sensed Tash coming back around and turned grabbing her by the jacket and hauled her to her feet shouting, "Come on they've got too much ground on us…we need to speed up."

Tash shook her head saying, "we'll never catch them this way it's a fuckin labyrinth and we're vulnerable every time we come to a corner, we need to go up, across the top," Tash looked up to the wall of containers, stowed her pistol and ran to the container wall they had just made their way around.

Shepard followed and said, "there's no grip, we can't climb these," even as her eyes scanned the smooth sides for any kind of hold.

"Aha, never go anywhere without my handy little rope on a sticky thing, that means I can climb up and more importantly, climb down in an emergency.

Very useful for dating married women who live in apartment blocks," as she was speaking she pulled a device from one of her trouser pockets.

It looked like a metal Frisbee with the end of what looked like a strong line coming out of it. Holding on the end of the line she threw the small Frisbee up and as it landed on top of the container Shepard heard a clunk.

"A 'sticky thing' Tash, that's the best technical term you could come up with," Shepard couldn't help but smile Tash never bothered to remember the proper names for tech kit but she always packed the most useful gear and knew how to use it.

Tash steadied the line as Shepard grabbed on and began walking up the side of the container, "hey just be grateful I carry a load of crap in my pockets," and while she waited for Shepard to reach the top she took a moment to spark up another cigar.

Once they were both up top they began running across the containers, needing to build up speed to jump the gaps as they came to them, and within a minute they spotted the group of merc's who had made it almost to the elevators in the back wall.

Shepard and Tash would never narrow the gap in time, even using the direct route across the top of the containers.

"We're not going to catch them we need to take them down from here, or keep them pinned down until the other's catch up," as Shepard spoke she pulled her Valient sniper rifle and began to set up for a scoped shot, she heard Tash curse next to her.

"Fuck I brought the Widow and we've got four targets to take down."

"Hell Tash you can reload that thing almost as fast at Garrus and I swear he was born with the fuckin thing in his hands, use warp ammo it'll help secure a single shot kill."

Shepard exchanged another genuine smile with her cousin remembering all the hours they'd spent on various ranges together both trying to best the other but both always happy to help improve the others skill.

"Ok, let's get this done, you take them right to left I'll start left to right, on my count, two, one," as Shepard left the 'one' hang between them a heartbeat later they both fired at exactly the same time.

Shepard got off another shot while Tash reloaded and the next shots were fired almost simultaneously, three merc's were clearly down but the last had run for cover and they couldn't see her through their scopes.

"You stay here and watch for her the minute she breaks cover; I'll move in close and try to flush her out or take her out at close range," before Shepard could respond Tash was on her feet exchanging her sniper for her Executioner once and more and took a running jump to make it to the next stack of containers.

Shepard concentrated on where they had last seen the Asari and kept playing her scope looking for any movement any change in shadow.

Her concentration was broken into when her comms sparked up and Miranda's worried voice filling her ear.

"Shepard we're on our way, I think we're almost at your position, are you on top of the containers," the last sentence was delivered in a puzzled tone; she was obviously trying to make sense of the tracking info she was looking at.

"Yep we had to take the last four out from a distance they just got too far ahead, you need to keep going. Tash is chasing down last one, but she may need some help."

"Copy that Shepard," and as Miranda's voice faded away Shepard thought she saw just the whisper of a change of light and concentrated on the corner of a smaller container unit only a quick run away from the elevator.

Then she saw her, the Asari commando made a run for the elevator still managing to keep the edges of cover as she went and making it impossible for Shepard to get a clear shot, she tried but her two shots just didn't connect.

Then she saw the Asari flying into view body bent backwards in a way even an Asari body shouldn't bend, falling to the ground blood pouring from a head wound.

Shepard watched Tash come into view a stand above the merc to make sure she was finished.

As Shepard stood and stowed her rifle she thought, '_still handy in a fire fight Tash… I thought I knew you dammit… it'll break me to kill you or hand you over to the Alliance for trial… what the hell happened to you,' _and with a deep sigh full of sadness and a hint of despair she began to make her way to her squad mates who were now clustered together by the elevator.

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Day 6 Normandy refit – Nos Astra, Illium

Shepard was standing looking out of one of the huge windows of the apartment, her son settled in the crook of her arm, and sucking lazily on the bottle she was holding to his mouth.

It was raining hard and the droplets that hit the window formed into rivulets as they ran, inevitably, downwards.

"See that out there is rain, yep, probably some wind too, but you'll get to learn about that later. You get to appreciate any kind of weather if you live in space most of your time," she looked down at the still sucking and contented baby, "will you decide to live in space or settle on a planet somewhere… well now your just too young to need to think about that aren't you."

She heard movement behind her and turned to see Veetor coming down the stairs.

"Commander, I am sorry to disturb your precious time with your son." Veetor's voice sounded troubled and she knew he wouldn't want to talk with her unless it was really important.

She only had another couple of hours to spend in the apartment before returning to the Normandy.

"That's OK Veetor, come and sit down," Shepard indicated one of the long sofas. She moved away from the window and sat in one of the large armchairs and once settled in place continued. "So what's on your mind".

"As you know I am still in contact with my family in the flotilla, and a good friend who tried to help with my anxiety. I am not sure how to tell you this Commander but, Tali's father Admiral Rael'Zorah has died, been killed."

"How, did they get into another tangle with Cerberus?" Shepard's mind was racing, if it was anything to do with Cerberus she might just be tempted to forget her deal and take down Harper.

"No, it seems, Geth, well my family only know the rumours, the Admiralty Board are not making any announcements yet. Commander, I know I have no right to ask you for any more help you have…." Shepard cut across the young Quarian.

"Veetor you are part of my crew, hell you're practically family, you can ask me anything. I'll see what I can find out and perhaps try to take a run out to the flotilla. If we do would you like to come with us?"

"Thank you Commander, yes, I would like to come if you visit the flotilla. Only if it does not interfere with…" again she gently cut across him and smiled.

"I think it would be nice for your family to see you now you're doing much better… but on one condition," her tone now took on a mock serious note and he held his head to one side, "you don't decide to stay. I would miss you and I need you."

Shepard couldn't have said anything that filled Veetor with more pride and he was grateful to her for saying it. But he was also pleased to have the reassurance that he wouldn't have to return to the flotilla. Perhaps one day but he was nowhere near ready to return yet.

"That is kind of you to say Commander and I have no intention of returning to the flotilla, yet anyway."

They chatted for a while, and decided they would check all available intel sources for any lead on what may have happened on the flotilla.

Shepard noticed the baby had not only finished the bottle but had fallen asleep.

"I'm going to settle him in his cot Veetor, and then I had better make tracks back to the Normandy." Shepard left the empty bottle on the side of the armchair and made her way up the stairs to the nursery.

She stood looking down at the small human and smiled thinking how simple and peaceful his life was. Shepard leaded in and kissed her son on the forehead and just before she stood back up and turned heard a familiar voice from the doorway.

"I always knew you'd make a great parent," Jamie's voice was quiet but she could hear the smile, "did Veetor get to talk to you about the flotilla?"

She moved away from the cot and towards the door and smiled at her cousin come live in nanny.

"Yes he did, he seems really worried. Do me a favour Jamie if anything seems to be bugging him in future just let me know? He doesn't like to ask for anything for himself some reason," they both began walking back down stairs.

"Yeah of course I will. Um, do you think next time you visit you might bring some of the crew… you know Garrus and maybe…" Shepard looked at the obviously embarrassed young man and gave him a knowing smile which made him even more embarrassed.

"Oh you mean when will I be bringing Doctor Goto for a visit," Shepard couldn't help teasing him a little more before she agreed to bring her next time they were in the neighbourhood.

Within an hour she was on the borrowed frigate and heading back to Thessia and the Normandy.

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Final day Normandy re-fit – Thessia

Shepard stood in front of the full crew. She had called a parade on the mess deck, the tables had been moved. Although a few had to stand on the gangway leading to the battery, they all fitted in.

"Some of the more eagle eyed of you will have noticed the memorial plaque on the rear wall of the mess." She indicated the wall behind her.

"You will see the names of the crew of the Normandy SR1 who died either on missions or on the final Collector attack on our ship. I've also put up the names of all the colonies that have been attacked by the Collectors and whose populations have been taken.

I intend to keep both lists as short as they are now. But I won't lie to you." Shepard had been pacing slightly from left to right but now she stood still and seemed to be looking at every single person in the room.

"We have made our ship as tough, as deadly, as protected as we can. Our friends and allies the Turian's and Asari's have equipped us with their best and latest tech on top of the best the Alliance had to offer.

Our mission hard, our enemy is tough, but we are tougher, we are mean SOB's who don't like to be fucked with. The Collectors have fucked with our people. We will pay them back.

This may not be an Alliance ship but it will function like one. I gave you the opportunity to leave once and you chose to stay. I honour you for that choice. We'll end this parade with a minutes silence to remember our friends and family lost to the Collectors. And our crew members who made the ultimate sacrifice so we could fight on."

Shepard turned and faced the memorial and ran her eyes over the full list of names. She knew them by heart; she saw them sometimes in her nightmares.

'_I will make them pay for what they did,_' she thought. And a strong image of Ash, so proud to be made XO of the Normandy, seared itself into her mind.

She marked the end of the minute with a sharp salute, turned to face the crew and said, "Parade dismiss, to your stations, prepare to leave our dry dock."


	37. Chapter 37

A/N Welcome to the next chapter and thank you for staying with me. Please accept my apologies for the erratic nature of my posting. A combination of health and work which I'm hoping will improve steadily. Also a welcome and thanks to those of you who have recently joined our journey.

I am not going to regurgitate the missions unless they need a twist or I feel I can add any extra fun to them, or they are essential to our plot here. However, you will get new original missions so hopefully the balance of action and 'fluff' will meet everyone's needs. I also did a 'fix' on the Normandy stealth systems as it irked me a little that the mission on Horizon didn't end, as it logically could have, with the Collector ship just downing the Normandy… again.

Not long now until we see the return of our Liara, but will she be fully recovered, can she take up Shepard's commitment to being together yet? This chapter will get us a little closer to having those questions answered, but for now…

Chapter 37

Normandy – one day post refit

"Come in", Shepard called out in answer to request for entry to her cabin. She knew it would be Miranda.

Miranda walked into the cabin and joined Shepard at her desk, "have you had a chance to review the recording?"

Since Miranda's change of allegiance Shepard now had access to the secure and private transmissions directly to Cerberus and sometimes even to Harper himself from the Doctor's office. This meant she also now had access to Tash's mission reports.

"Yeah, interesting. Tash does seem to have gone out of her way to keep you the right side of Harper's good opinion. Why would she do that?"

Shepard had been struck by the report that Tash had sent in to her handler, which would be directly reported to the Illusive Man, stating quite clearly that Miranda had turned to Shepard not to slight Cerberus. It was, in Tash's opinion, a well-played strategic move to secure a better more trusted relationship with Shepard.

"I have no idea Shepard; she has always been extremely… antagonistic to me. Our first conversation on board consisted of her threats to my sister. Making it clear that she had already visited and that I should be careful as her safety depended on my loyalty. That I was no longer such a great favourite of the Illusive Man."

"But if you turn that around Miranda she gave you a very explicit warning. And one that actually prompted you to start looking into the safety of your sister's situation, uncovering the moves by your father. And they must have been tacitly sanctioned by Cerberus. It just doesn't make sense. None of this with Tash makes sense." Shepard was looking at Miranda, her difficulty accepting the level of betrayal only to apparent on her features.

"Don't get carried away Shepard, I really admire your ability to look for the best in people. To ascribe them the best intentions, but it's also a weakness, to easily exploited by those who know you." Miranda could see the logic in what Shepard was proposing but was far too aware of the Illusive Man's ability to weave multi layers of deceit and lies and false trails.

Miranda continued, "has she told you yet what really happened when she left the Alliance. What she's been doing the last ten years?"

"Not really, we've had conversations over meals, over drinks… but it always ends up with tales of adventure and sex… nothing of substance. And she is definitely hiding something, she won't let me in." But Shepard also understood the need to close off parts of herself, particularly the darkest parts of herself.

"She also seems to have some kind of relationship with the Asari commando captain that was involved with protecting Liara. This would be in keeping with her mission to… keep a close eye on Liara in the event she carries out her threat." Miranda had not been looking forward to raising the threat to kill Liara by Tash on Cerberus orders. Shepard had become murderous when she found out and even though restrained Miranda had felt the edge of the woman's wrath and didn't want to experience it again.

Shepard remained thoughtful for a moment but then turned back to her console.

"Well one way or the other I'll have to get the truth from Tash," Shepard turned to look Miranda in the eyes and the cold hard stare sent shivers down her spine, "but I won't put Liara at any kind of risk and I'll do what I have to when the time comes whether I have my answers or not."

Miranda stood up and made to leave, "everything is ready Commander I only need to give the course heading to Joker."

"Good, set course for Purgatory and let's see if this Jack will be any use to our mission."

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Omega – Aria's office

"Can I expect your full attention to your duties now your little human distraction has left to follow her destiny with Shepard," Aria's voice was dripping with sarcasm and not a little annoyance.

She remained sitting behind her desk studying the data pads in front of her rather than looking at Liselle who had taken up a chair facing her mother.

"Why do you dislike her so much," Liselle needed to be more careful than usual handling her mother, her normal offhand attitude would not get her what she wanted. And if she handled this wrong it would be a death sentence for Tasha and Liselle would probably need to spend the next five years earning back her mother's trust.

Aria left all pretence of working and looked directly at her daughter. She saw something that both interested and concerned her; this was not the response she expected. Much more likely to be told to keep out of her daughters' sex life in abrupt and dismissive tone than a reasonable question.

"Don't play games with me Liselle, you know I don't approve of your getting serious about anyone yet you're too young. And while I recognise humans have a certain attraction your interest in them, in this one in particular, will not end well.

Mikhailovich has an uncertain past, and a too convincing 'history'. Almost as if it had been crafted, and I don't trust people who disappear for months and come back with another 'crafted' story." Aria seemed to have more trouble with the humans who worked for her than any other race when it came to proving loyalty, and the two on her payroll at the moment were no exception.

"She's loyal to you and to me, I've seen it." Liselle was beginning to fall into spoilt child mode but she had to shake herself out of it, this would not win her mother over only confirm her immaturity.

"We'll see. Now to business. The Talons are causing more trouble we need to think about taking them down a bit, remind them who's the boss," before Aria could continue Liselle interrupted.

"I need you to listen to me mother, it's important to me. I never ask you for anything personal and I never trade on our relationship but this once I need to ask for your help." Liselle was looking directly into her mother's eyes.

It was true; Liselle had always stood on her own feet, earning her place in Aria's organisation.

It was far too dangerous for Aria to even acknowledge she had children let alone try to raise a daughter herself. Too many enemies would make the child an immediate target. So Aria had an 'arrangement' with old friends who had 'adopted' her daughters looking after the child and they reached maidenhood and were ready to choose their own path.

Only one had returned to Aria and that daughter stood before her now. The other two had made more usual lives within Council space and although they knew who their mother was the agreement was that no contact would be available either way.

Aria was content that her line would continue and she had been given the gift of one daughter who wished to be with her, but Aria was also determined that eventually Liselle would leave Omega and prosper in a different environment.

"I'm listening," Aria held her daughters gaze and waited.

"I need you to promise me something first, and you'll have to trust that this won't come back to bite you." Aria leaned back in her chair looking as regal as ever with an expression that still gave Liselle pause. But the young Asari took the silence as permission to continue.

"I need you to promise you won't cause any harm to come to Tasha, directly or… allowing it from another source," Liselle waited for her mother's response.

"Don't believe that just because I am your mother that you can control what I may do to anyone who may cause me problems Liselle. You had better just spit out what you want before you really fuck me off." The Queen of Omega still found it difficult to have her absolute authority even vaguely challenged by her daughter.

"This is personal mother, nothing to do with business," Liselle could sense she wasn't going to get the assurance she would have preferred and she couldn't go back so she ploughed ahead.

"Tasha is an Alliance intelligence agent working undercover with Cerberus, who obviously think she's a Cerberus agent," Liselle could see her mother's face darken but she pressed on quickly to get it all out before the explosion.

"She was only meant to be undercover for a few months but the Alliance left her high and dry and now treats her like shit. The only place she feels like she isn't crazy is when she's here with me working for you, and that's what I want you to make happen. Get her out from Cerberus and let her stay here with me." It wasn't anywhere near as logical or elegant as Liselle had practised. In the end it sounded like a teenager's plea but she was failing under the steadily increasing storm of fury that was gathering on the other side of the desk.

"And how long have you known we've had a Cerberus spy within our organisation?" Aria's quiet, cold tone was in contrast to the fire burning in her eyes.

"On her last visit, she showed me it all. Through a meld, no barriers, she really has never betrayed you or me. She works for Cerberus when she disappears. Please mother, join with me and I'll show you?" Liselle kept the pleading out of her voice and remained as strong and firm as she could.

"Does Shepard know?" It was a strange question that knocked Liselle sideways.

"No, and… well," considering how much effort Aria had put into keeping Liara safe this next revelation wasn't going to go down well either, "Cerberus has ordered her to… eliminate Liara if she show's back up on the scene… which she won't do, she absolutely has no intention of doing…" the last two sentences came out in a rush.

"And you're willing to put me at risk, the safety of your half-sister and your own, for the sex you two have… she must be very, very good," Aria's voice was glacial, her words delivered with precision. And her disapproval and disdain was evident in every word.

"I don't care what you think mother; I've asked you for help for the first time. And it isn't just about the sex, which is very, very good though," Liselle couldn't help being a little flippant.

Despite herself Aria felt herself resigning herself to agreeing to help her daughter. And after all she would probably be able to work the whole thing to her advantage. The human's situation also struck a long dead chord with the older Asari but one that she would not allow to influence her judgment.

"I need to be sure she is loyal to you and to Omega. The next time she visits I'll meld with her and make sure she really didn't hide anything from you. For now I'll give the problem some thought, but don't over estimate my abilities Liselle. I have no leverage over Cerberus and would rather not owe them a favour."

Liselle began to smile; it was wide and cheeky and made her even more beautiful than she usually was and Aria allowed it to warm her heart without too much resistance.

But knowing she cared so much for her daughter also caused Aria pain and a little fear; she led a dangerous life and was playing a dangerous game having her daughter with her. For now she was willing to take the risk, there would be time later to think about the future.

"Thank you mother I knew you'd help and you can do anything you're the Pirate Queen of Omega, we all bow before you," Liselle stood and moved to her mother giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes well I prefer to rule with fear so if you breathe a word of me being anything other than brutal and uncaring I'll just have to kill you. Now really Liselle we need to decide what to do about the Talons. And was Sanak right to worry about the other human?"

They settled into their business meeting but in the back of Liselle's mind she was already planning her vid call to Tasha to tell her the good news.

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Normandy – six days post refit

Shepard was completing her mission reports in her cabin and they made for interesting reading. The recruitment of the human biotic Jack from the Blue Suns prison facility had turned into a massive fire fight.

The warden had seen an opportunity of making some money taking Shepard into custody and asking for a ransom. Unfortunately for him Shepard wasn't going along with it.

Not only did she kill him but in order to access Jack they had to release all the high security prisoners resulting in riots and destruction that left the prison station a burning wreck. No doubt order would be restored by the Blue Suns but that was not her problem.

Jack had proved to be every bit as powerful a biotic as her files suggested but she was also very unstable with a pathological hatred of Cerberus who she was convinced had abducted her from her family and torturing her in an experimental facility until she was old enough to break herself out.

The tension between Jack and Miranda is palpable and Shepard has given instructions for them to keep away from each other at all times.

The recruitment of Okeer also went sideways. Okeer was using Collector technology acquired by the Blue Suns to clone Krogan shock troops that would be loyal to the Blue Suns commander in charge an Asari named Jedore.

But Okeer was only focussed on perfecting his ultimate experiment of creating the perfect Krogan and in the process misleading Jedore for resources and also misleading her as to the likely success of the experiment. The Krogan clones he was producing were mindless and could not be controlled and Jedore was already losing patience with the old Krogan.

Shepard's attack and attempted recruitment prompted Jedore to destroy the facility and flush the clone tanks thus threatening Okeer's perfect specimen. The Krogan agreed to help Shepard and share his Collector technology if she saved his perfect tank bred clone.

In the end Okeer had been killed but Shepard did decide to bring the clone on board and was still undecided as to whether to release it from its tank or not.

The research and Collector intel had proved a worthwhile addition to their knowledge and both Kasumi's tech team and Mordin's science team were working through it to see how they could put it to good use.

Shepard got up from her desk and rolled her shoulders trying to loosen the knots of tension. She flicked a control on her console and a small running pad rose out of the floor and stripping off her hoodie she began to run at a steady pace.

"Edi can you update me on comms security please," Shepard spoke to the ever present AI and adjusted the speed on the pad slightly.

"I have detected no attempts at coded messages, all crew have been careful not to give away the ship's location or the nature of any of our missions or work they are undertaking. Ensign Carver mentioned how much she liked Asari architecture after our visit to Thessia, and was concerned enough to report it to her section leader who reassured her that it was not compromising.

I continue to hold a 1.2 parsec delay in all live vid traffic to disrupt any mistakes with static but that has not proved necessary.

Commander may I ask a question?"

"Of course Edi," Shepard had now worked up a sweat and her breathing, although still steady, was now under pressure.

"You allow almost complete access to comms for crew, allowing them to speak to family and friends, access the extranet; does this not distract them from their tasks on-board? And would it not be better for them to build relationships within the crew for greater unit cohesion?"

"Well Edi on larger ships with a much more diverse crew, bigger community, people do tend to build longer term friendships and relationships. But we are a new crew, on what most people would see at least as a highly dangerous mission, if not suicidal, and some normality and connection with what we're all fighting for is important.

It's also good for crew on long term space service to be able to keep in touch with those important to them at home, wherever that is or whatever that means to them personally.

I also need to know who we can trust and if you give someone enough rope…" Shepard left the old Earth saying for Edi to finish.

"I see Shepard so the activity has multiple positive outcomes, including offering the opportunity for accidental strangulation."

Shepard smiled, "Indeed Edi."

"Shepard incoming call from Admiral Hackett highest priority would you like me to route it to you private QEC here?" Edi's voice, with a noticeable change of tone, echoed once again around Shepard's cabin.

"Yep," Shepard stopped the running pad and grabbed the towel from the back of her chair, rubbing her face in it, and then hung around her neck.

The QEC sparked into life and quantum fragments coalesced into the familiar, craggy, gruff image of Admiral Hackett.

"Commander, good to see you, but no time for pleasantries," Shepard smiled inwardly trying to remember if she had ever exchanged 'pleasantries' with the Admiral.

"We've just received a scrambled and brief emergency call from our colony on Fehl Prime then lost all communications. Its Collectors, are you anywhere near?"

Shepard did a quick calculation in her head, "we could be there in less than six hours."

"Good, our best is closer to ten. Keep me up to speed with your progress Commander and good luck, Hackett out."

With that the connection fragmented and without a pause Shepard opened a comms link to Joker and Miranda.

"All crew to battle stations, threat level Alpha, comms blackout, engage stealth. Fast as you can to Fehl Prime Joker. Edi call all my officers and specialists to the comms room for a conference in one hour."

Shepard moved to the shower stripping off her sweats on the way, maybe this time they would be in time to make a difference. But this was no ordinary small farming colony, this was a major Alliance facility, why the change of tactic.

As the hot water and steam permeated her senses she was already pulling up the schematics for the colony in her mind and framing a plan of approach.

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An hour later Shepard was sitting around the conference table with Miranda, Garrus, Skark, Mordin, Kasumi and Tash with both Joker and Edi listening in.

"From what I know of Fehl Prime it is well protected, at least a company of Alliance soldiers, two sets of canon, kinetic barriers." It was Tash who spoke but she drew nods from Shepard and Garrus.

"Yeah security was beefed up since that merc attack a couple of years ago; it's a major pharmaceuticals research and production facility. And a complete change to the Collectors normal MO," Shepard noticed a confused look on some of the faces, "sorry 'modus operandi' old Earth speak." The translators coped with the old language this time around.

"Perhaps they are testing their ability to hit much larger and more fortified colonies on more settled worlds Shepard?" this time Mordin spoke and his evaluation came not only as a scientist but also an ex member of the Salarian STG.

"Could be right, but no amount of speculation is going to get the job done," we hit the system in…." before Shepard could ask Joker piped in.

"Three hours thirty Commander, upgrades really boosting our FTL," Shepard could hear the smile in her pilots voice; he had as big a need for speed as she did.

"Good, that's better time than I thought. We'll make ready a full landing party so I want our special operations team and our specialist fire team ready to roll but we'll finalise our battle plan when we are on scene."

Shepard, Tash and Garrus had organised the human, Asari and Turian soldiers into a unified team. They were still working on the rough edges but the combination of the various skill sets and abilities made what used to be her marine squad into a truly devastating unit. The team was training hard to perfect their unconventional warfare, reconnaissance and destruction capabilities.

Her specialist fire team needed more development the latest addition being Jack, but with Skark, Garrus, Miranda, Mordin and Kasumi it was still a formidable force.

As the room emptied and her team began to make their preparations Shepard felt the familiar build of tension and excitement that always began to settle when she headed for battle.

Fighting mercs was one thing but her focus was firmly set on the Collectors and she wanted a chance to test them against her determination to end them, the sooner the better.

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Normandy – on approach to Fehl Prime

Shepard was standing between her pilot and co-pilot in the Normandy cockpit as they approached Fehl Prime in full stealth.

"Here's hoping they don't look out the window Commander…" Joker's voice held its usual flippant and sarcastic tone but the edge they were all feeling was evident. The last time their ship had come face to face with a Collector vessel it had been completely destroyed.

"Collector vessels do not have viewing ports Jeff, it is much more important that our upgraded stealth system withstands their scans," Edi answered.

"Great, so we could still be visible to them," Joker's voice was a little more subdued.

"Scan the planet Edi, life signs, activity and any comms still active. Joker all the time that thing is on the ground we should be ok, but the minute it lifts off be ready to jump us out of here, I'm not losing another ship this early in the game." Shepard's voice was calm and matter of fact. She was already in the zone.

"We are picking up an Alliance channel from the planet, patching you in Shepard."

"This is Spectre Shepard of the Council on responding to an Alliance call for assistance respond please," Shepard's voice rang out loud and strong.

Through some minimal static another voice sparked up in the cockpit.

"This is Lieutenant Vega Alliance marines, I have a squad but the rest of the company have been taken with the colonists and workers up to that ship." The voice was strong with a slight accent and it sounded as if he was moving.

"Sit rep," Shepard responded.

"We were out in the desert investigating some kind of anomalous signal that started transmitting about six hours before the Collector attack. We've just got back to the base and it looks like pretty much everyone is gone.

Some Collectors still on the ground but not in any numbers, we're heading to the two underground canons to try to disable the ship from leaving so we can get our people back."

"Any sign of swarms?"

"No they must have cleared out, but we're in full armour and hard suits."

Shepard thought for a moment,' _no advantage in a ground attack if most of the Collectors had already left. Risk to high to try to get on the Collector ship to launch a rescue to many unknowns and variables. Only option available would be to attempt to destroy Collector ship, even if unsuccessful it would provide useful data on Normandy systems'_.

"How long till your teams get to the guns?"

"Almost there Commander, we'll charge them to half capacity to minimise damage," Vega sounded as if he was climbing.

"Negative Lieutenant you will hit the Collector ship with all the force available, we'll send you targeting coordinates at the last minute, do you copy?" Shepard would wait till the last minute to scan the Collector ship and concentrate power on its drive core.

"But Commander all those people, my company…" Vega sounded both agitated and angry.

"This is a direct order soldier and I'm here on the authority of Admiral Hackett, do you copy," once again Shepard's voice was calm but it held all the authority that had made her a living legend amongst Alliance personnel.

"Yes ma'am I copy, both teams in position. The minute we open the blast doors they'll know we're here, can you buy us time to get the shots off?" Vega's voice was now the perfect match for Shepard's he would not argue or question any further, he had his orders.

"On my mark you get your guns into place, at that time we'll scan the Collectors and send you the coordinates. Once you're locked on begin firing we'll join in."

Another few minutes passed as Shepard made sure Edi, Joker and Melania were clear about their actions and timings.

She opened a ship wide comm line.

"We are about to engage a Collector vessel in combat, all hands stay alert, all hands remain at battle stations. This could be a bumpy ride, strap in people." Shepard then opened the comm line to the team on the planet.

"You have a go Lieutenant Vega, get those guns operational and hit the shit out of that vessel."

The next five minutes were a frenzy of activity and as the ground side batteries opened up the Collector ship had already started targeting them.

The Collectors were also trying to scan for the Normandy but much to everyone's relief it looked as if the new stealth system was an improvement on the last. But the moment the Normandy started firing she would become visible.

"Fire, fire, fire," Shepard's voice rang out in the cockpit, "keep us moving Joker full evasive action."

The combined efforts of the batteries and the Normandy had broken through the Collector barriers and were causing damage to the ship. The great structure began to lift off from the ground firing its particle beam at one of the groundside batteries obliterating it and the marines inside.

To Shepard's surprise the ship then focussed its fire out into the dessert before aiming once again for the ground side battery. But the continued force of fire from the Normandy was now taking a real toll.

The Collector vessel continued to lift off from the ground but vapour and atmosphere could be seen venting from its sides. The Normandy was still taking evasive action and so far had only received one glancing blow which had caused minimal damage.

As the enemy drew nearer Shepard ordered all weapons to open fire as soon as it came within range and with a final concentrated blast from the Normandy's now considerable arsenal the Collector ship faltered in its lift.

Through the viewing window in the cockpit they could see the ship flash with electrical pulses, fires appeared to break out along its length and it had stopped returning fire both to the Normandy and the planet.

Shepard held her breath as the vessel began a fast decent towards the plant breaking apart as it did so.

"Cease firing," Shepard continued, "special ops teams make ready to head dirtside."

And as Shepard watched the Collector ship hit the face of the planet and explode into flames she heard a cheer run through the ship. Allowing herself a small smile Shepard headed to the shuttle bay to join her teams.

As she passed through the CIC she called out to Miranda, "you have the conn, keep scanning the system and watch that relay. If we get any kind of company your job is to keep the Normandy safe."

"Understood Commander," Miranda's cool business like tone was somewhat undermined by the smile that she and all the others in the CIC were wearing.

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Fehl Prime – two hours after Collector ship destroyed

"Well they made a real mess of this, whatever it was," Tash was kicking over the edges of a huge hole in the ground.

According to Vega this had been the location of the signal and when they had investigated there was a huge plate of some kind of metal covering the area now blasted to molten rock.

"So you only had enough time to locate the signal, take readings and some vid of the area before you got called back to the Collector attack," Shepard was speaking to Lieutenant Vega who had joined them on the shuttle trip.

"Yep, we scanned but couldn't make any sense of the readings. Why the interest Commander, just some more old Prothean junk. The Collectors hit the colony not this." Vega was looking intently at Shepard, there was no challenge in his tone, he was only looking for answers.

"We don't know yet Lieutenant, but they certainly made sure they fucked it up at the expense of shots on either your guns or the Normandy, gotta mean something." She turned to look at the marine officer and continued, "You did a good job marine, I'm sorry we didn't have a chance of saving the people the Collectors took."

He nodded his head slowly and looked back in the direction of the downed ship.

"Yeah I wasn't thinking straight, there were a lot of kids on the colony Commander, a lot of kids," he hung his head and began to move back to the shuttle.

"Right lets head back to the Collector ship and see what our science and tech teams have managed to salvage", Shepard, Tash and Kasumi headed back to join Vega at the shuttle all useful data from the site already uploaded to the Normandy labs.

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The Normandy stayed in orbit until the Alliance reinforcements arrived. Then Shepard ordered her to land close by the wreck of the Collector ship.

She had her science and tech teams work on recovering anything that would help both in their hunting of the Collectors and their masters the Reapers. But the ship was almost completely wrecked, some parts had disintegrated completely.

They stayed dirtside for two days before heading off once again to continue recruiting heavy hitting specialists and now Shepard also wanted to look for scientists who could help Kasumi with the mystery of the Prothean signals.

Shepard knew that the most expert Prothean scholar was who she really needed by her side to unravel the mystery surrounding their finds. She also wanted the Prothean expert by her side for other reasons, reasons too painful to dwell on for long.


	38. Chapter 38

A/N Thank you for the pm's that I've received, it is really encouraging to get feedback about what you're enjoying and what has got your thinking. So if you get a moment drop me a quick line to let me know I'm hitting the right tone or if you feel I could be doing something better. And reviews are also always welcome; even a few words are really appreciated.

Again we don't dwell too much on all of the game missions but we will still get to know our team over time before we head through that big relay in the Omega system.

Chapter 38

Normandy – three days post Fehl Prime

Shepard made sure she ate most of her meals on the mess deck it was an important opportunity to take the temperature of the crew. But meal times on the Normandy were proving highly unsatisfactory, according to feedback.

They weren't a big enough ship to have a dedicated mess team and even their 'cook' had another job in engineering. Most of the food was pre-packed rations, high quality and meeting all nutritional needs but rations nonetheless.

Graham their cook tried at least three or four times a week to actually put together a 'from scratch' meal, usually stew or soup, but this usually brought more complaints than the pre-packed food did.

Shepard was at a table with Skark, Malania and Miranda and she broached the subject of food tentatively.

"So just how bad is the feeling about the food on board?" She asked generally.

Skark gave a typical Krogan bark of a laugh and looked from the 'mush' on his plate to Shepard and said, "You have to do something about it before I collect your Krogan squad from Tuchanka Shepard… I'm a tolerant Krogan and used to eating rations… but… this… well Salarians look very tasty when a Krogan belly rumbles," he continued to laugh and Shepard smiled back.

"The Asari on board are suffering also Commander, Asari ships are much better provisioned and our culture is one that appreciates good food. Our social lives often revolve around the sharing of food and of course as biotics we need to eat often and this…" she indicated some form of food that again was differently coloured but bore no resemblance to 'real' food.

"I can't see what all the fuss is about, the rations and amounts available meet all the various diets on board and the specific needs of protein eaters," she nodded her head towards Skark, " and biotics. You don't hear me complaining." Miranda continued to eat the food on her plate.

Shepard looked around the room. The crew were eating the food but without any kind of enjoyment that she could see, it was mechanical.

"Ok well I'll give it some thought," Shepard said then turned her attention back to Skark.

"When are you leaving for Tuchanka," Shepard had tasked Skark with recruiting a small team of Krogan fighters to further bulk out her special operations team.

"I can leave anytime Sheaprd just hook me up with a ride."

"Ok, we'll drop you at the nearest space port. But I'll come and pick you up when you're ready to return. I need to see Wrex… I've missed the big ugly brute," she smiled at the thought of spending time with her friend.

They had only had two vid calls since she returned from the dead, Wrex preferred face to face communications. He was once again a true ally to her and she wanted to see if she could help with his reconstruction of life on Tuchanka.

"Wrex will throw a big party for you Shepard, you will have to get drunk and fight… and we will all eat real food," again Skark barked out a laugh and Shepard could think of nothing better to look forward to.

How's it going working with Joker and Edi," this question was aimed at Malania who, amongst her other duties was also co-pilot and Joker's relief.

"They are very funny together Commander; they chat like a couple of old friends. Joker has taken his role as ship's entertainment officer very seriously and they are constantly talking about improving the crew's 'environment'.

"Yes I'm not sure piped music is the best way to do that," Miranda chipped in, "it could be very distracting."

"Oh Edi is being very scientific about the whole thing," Malania continued, "she is matching the wavelength and frequency in the music to match the mental state that would be optimum…" Miranda cut across the young Asari.

"Well, all they ever seem to play in engineering is that awful techno music you hear in clubs and it's the same in the shuttle bay," Miranda threw out the comment in the form of a challenge.

"Seems like a good match to me, and you don't seem to mind the 'ambient' sounds that float around the CIC," Shepard smiled as she stood up and took her tray to the recycling point.

The light mood seemed to dissipate in a flash as she looked around the mess deck at her crew members and thoughts of better food and soothing music seemed trivial, almost laughable.

The cold, nagging doubt and anxiety fell over her like a freezing mist.

'I'll have to order everyone on this ship, my whole crew into harm's way, more than once before we even get done with the Collectors… I'm going to lose people… maybe even most of them… and why," she kept her movements easy and slow but she wanted to run, run somewhere, anywhere.

When she finished with her tray she walked, steadily, to the elevator to make it back to her cabin. Where crew members caught her eye she nodded or gave them a small smile, all the time fighting back the shaking and hoping the cold sweat wasn't already showing.

In the elevator she leaned back against the walls, her legs unsteady, praying the elevator didn't stop. Once on the top deck she made it to her cabin in a rush and then to the bathroom.

Shepard threw up in the toilet, on her knees, heaving until nothing was left but bile. Sitting back against the bulkhead, knees up to rest her elbows on, head in her hands she felt pathetic.

'_Get a fuckin grip Shepard, you've led touch missions before… ordered marines to their deaths… don't go soft on me now,'_ but this was no ordinary mission, no ordinary threat.

The roots of the fear, anxiety, and uncertainty were located deeper than her conscious memory. Even if she defeated the Collectors they were only the warm up act.

The main event, the Reapers, destroyers of all intelligent, sentient life in the galaxy for who knew how many cycles were still coming… and she thought she could face them down.

'_Shit who the fuck do I think I am… I can't even get the Council to believe they're coming… we're all going to die and there's not a fuckin thing I can do about it._'

Shepard stood up and went to the basin, throwing water on her face and rinsing her mouth, she was shaking from head to foot and white faced. The damp cold sweat chilling her body.

Why wasn't she rounding up her family, her friends, anyone who would listen and heading out into the unexplored galaxy. Get as far away from the Reaper controlled killing grounds as she could.

She might persuade the Quarian's with their readymade fleet to join her.

'_That's enough,'_ the voice in her head was stronger now, she took some deep breaths to steady herself, _'that's enough Shepard. We do not run from a fight and the galaxy hasn't even started getting its shit together yet. You will stand and fight because that's how it's always been,_' she spoke the last words more gently to herself but with no less conviction.

Exhaustion took her and she headed for the bed not even taking off her boots and fell into a heavy sleep. The nightmares were at their worst and relentless. The dark monsters, destroying all before them, and corrupting once sentient organic beings into mindless half machines that killed without even noticing.

The death throes of thousands of civilisations filled her eyes, her ears and her soul. And when she woke Shepard knew she had seen exactly what was coming for them, exactly what she would have to stand against, what she would have to ask everyone to stand against with her.

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Normandy – five days post Fehl Prime

Shepard had just dropped Skark on a human colony to pick up a ship to Tuchanka. She decided it was time to find out if Okeer's tank bred Krogan was going to be an asset or needed to be dealt with.

Standing in front of the tank in one of the storage holds she was struck by the stillness of the young Krogan, she'd never seen a Krogan look so at peace.

"Edi are you getting any readings from him at all?"

"Only his physical vital signs Shepard, there is no way to tell what his mental state or capacity is. Protocol would demand that any unknown quantity should examined in a fully secure environment, are you certain you wish to proceed without fire support?" Shepard knew this was, at the least, risky and at worst completely stupid. She had no idea who the Krogan would react.

"Lock down the room Edi and alert security if anything… well… get out of hand," Shepard continued, "open him up Edi."

Shepard stood a few feet away from the front of the container and watched as the fluid inside drained down and the Krogan inside began to twitch, eyes flickering open.

As the perspex door slid open the Krogan fell to his knees before standing slowly and stepping out of the container in front of her.

She kept relaxed but could sense movement coming towards her just before the young Krogan launched himself at her. Lifting her bodily the Krogan slammed her against some containers and held her by her throat.

He inclined his head so that they were face to face and he stared into her eyes. She looked back and waited, as he studied her with his small bright eyes.

"Human, female, before you die I need a name," his voice lighter than she was used to but definitely with a Krogan rumble.

"I am Commander Shepard of the SSV Normandy and I don't take to kindly to threats mister, I suggest you stand down…" but the Krogan cut across her.

"Not your name, mine… what's my name. I am trained, I know things," he inclined his head a little more and she could see the concentration in his eyes, "but the tank… Okeer couldn't implant connection, his words are… hollow.

Warlord, legacy, grunt… "Grunt" was among the last… it has no meaning… it will do. Grunt, I am Grunt. If you are worthy of your command, prove your strength and try to destroy me."

"You sure you want to go with Grunt… not Okeer or legacy," Shepard asked the young Krogan testing his reasoning and trying to connect with him.

"It's short, matches the training in my blood… the other words are big things I don't feel… they don't fit my mouth… maybe they fit yours better." The Krogan still held Shepard across the throat but wasn't pressing hard.

"I feel nothing for Okeer or his enemies, I will do what I am bred to do… fight and determine the strongest… but his imprint has failed. Without a reason that is mine one fight is a good as another, might as well start with you."

Shepard thought for a moment and drew on all she knew about Krogan culture mostly learned from Wrex.

"I have a good ship, a strong clan and powerful Krant, you would make it stronger," she could feel the Krogan's breath on her face as he watched her intently.

"If your weak and choose weak enemies I will have to kill you," he replied.

"Oh our enemies are strong there's no doubt about that," she allowed herself a small smile this was going to work.

"Humm, that is… acceptable… I will fight for you."

"Well now I'm glad you saw reason," and as she spoke she looked down to the hand cannon that was pointing up towards the young Krogan's exposed neck.

He looked down and stood back with a familiar bark of laughter, "ha offer one hand but arm the other. Wise Shepard… if I find a clan…if I... I find what I want…I will be honoured to eventually pit them against you." He gave her a small nod and moved away.

"Well good to have you on the team Grunt, now let's talk about where you're going to live while you're on the ship… oh and let me apologise in advance for the food… until we can get something better organised."

After some discussion it was decided Grunt would join the other members of the fire teams on the hanger deck. He could use Skark's bunk until the older Krogan's return.

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Normandy – six days post Fehl Prime

The shuttle bay of the Normandy had been equipped to provide not only training space and equipment, including a decent gym, but also running pads to ensure enough aerobic activity for all the crew.

Tash had just finished directing a training session with one of the special ops squads and was unwinding with a long distance run. It was the one of the few times she settled into a reflective mood and the thoughts that passed through her mind were all too familiar.

For the best part of ten years Tash had been living her life in front of a wall. A wall she put up inside when she started her mission for Alliance Intelligence.

Behind it were all the things she used to be, a good soldier, and honourable officer, a decent human being. All her ambition, her values, the path she had seen so clearly for herself. Service, honour, duty.

The gap between who she was in front of the wall and who she was had grown so wide and so deep that sometimes she had to work really hard to make any kind of connection with her old self.

She didn't do it very often; it was too disturbing, too confusing and brought only lethal levels of raging anger.

Tash had not only killed, injured, stolen, extorted and destroyed in order to maintain her credibility as a merc for hire, or on the orders of Cerberus. She had also, on many occasions, done so for personal gain and personal satisfaction. Taking out her anger and pain on anyone unfortunate to cross her path and piss her off at the wrong moment.

For the best part her victims had been just as undeserving as she was. Either merc's themselves, unscrupulous corporations or other forms of low life criminals. But she had no illusions that on too many occasion she had also hurt and even killed innocent people.

When Aria discovered that the Collectors were conducting a deal to gather human specimens on Omega, Tash had been part of the team sent to dispatch them. Their orders were to kill everyone on the loading dock, everyone included the human slaves. Men, women and children.

Tash followed her orders, and although she didn't target any children herself they were still all dead along with the adults when the shooting stopped.

Too often the nightmares would come and the dead would haunt her, the officer she once was would corrupt in front of her eyes and she would be left empty, lost and alone in a hell of her own making.

Tash thought about Liselle and couldn't help a small smile reaching her lips. She honestly believed Liselle had saved her life. Five years ago Tash was done, no way out of her situation in sight, broken by the things she'd had to do and looking for oblivion either in drugs or in death.

Somehow they connected, perhaps only possible because Tash's resistance was so low, but she let Liselle in just a little and the young Asari saw some of what was behind that internal wall.

Steadily Tash began to build a real life where she found herself, she finally understood that to survive she would have to really live for now and not just go through the motions.

And it might have been enough. Spending more and more time on Omega and with Liselle, moving further away from any last lingering hope of a return to her previous life, it would have been enough.

Then the call from Cerberus, the mission with her cousin, and the inner wall that had had been damaged by her break down, then melted more by Liselle began to crack.

Seeing her cousin, everything that Tash had aspired to be, was meant to be, in front of her, living what should have been Tash's life was too much. And in some twisted, fucked up way Tash wanted to blame Shepard for not coming after her. For seeing what was happening, what the Alliance had done and saving her.

Tash knew it was crazy and unfair but she couldn't stop the rage that would smash into her mind at times when she was around Shepard.

Shepard was also the embodiment of the Alliance Navy, the very people who had destroyed her life, her career for what. A few scraps of useless information over the years, a couple of Admirals names?

Tash got control of her breathing and calmed her mind again, bringing it back from the rage. Looking up and across the shuttle bay she saw a familiar figure emerge from the elevator.

Shepard in sweats and a hoodie began walking towards her and with a smile asked, "hey Tash how do you fancy a bit of a workout?"

Tash thought for a second, _'this is not a good idea'_.

Out loud she answered "hell yeah fine with me Elvee been a while since I kicked your arse."

Shepard pulled off her hoodie and walked onto the edge of the training mat used for close combat sessions. She had to find out where the anger and sometimes edges of hate from Tash were coming from. And her plan was to goad Tash into losing control and getting to the truth in the process.

They squared up to each other and began to slowly circle the edge of the mat, Shepard's hand were open showing the hard edges to Tash. The taller human held her hands in loose fists. They locked eyes and made a few moves and feints as they began testing each other.

"So you made the transfer across to full Navy, still keep your marine rank?" Tash spoke as she once again threw out a strike towards Shepard's head that was easily dodged.

"Yep… transferred after Torfan… as a Lieutenant Commander… You know that was always my plan… wanted my own ship at some point…" her words punctuated with exchanged hits.

"Marines not good enough for you…" Tash landed a telling blow to Shepard's side followed by another to the side of her head.

"I'm still a marine Tash, always will be… still hold my Lieutenant Colonel rank with pride… more than we can say about you," Shepard landed a straight finger stab to Tash's solar plexus and taller woman staggered back visibly winded.

"Fuck you Elvee… we're talking bout your glittering career not my fuck ups," recovered Tash once again brushed away another barrage of hits from Shepard, landing one of her own back directly on the shorter woman's chin.

"Not that your jealous huh… so what happened… really… couldn't stay away from just one more party… one more girl… you never could keep it in your pants could you…" they continue to exchange blows now landing more frequently and with more force.

"If it makes you feel good… you self-righteous bastard… never… forget… I'm just one big… fuck up," Tash landed a well-timed and well-judged combination of hits, closed fist and open hand which sent Shepard reeling back and crashing to the floor.

Shepard jumped back to her feet and they began once more to circle each other. Now Shepard could see and sense the rage and hatred oozing from Tash towards her.

"Well that's a hell of a chip you got there Tash… and just remind me…how you get to feel sorry for yourself… when you're the one that let everyone down…" this time Shepard's combination and blocks connected with force and Tash was first bent double and then slammed in the face backwards off the mat and towards the Mako parked on against the side wall.

While Tash struggled to her feet Shepard advanced and continued, "the truth Tash, what the fuck happened… I don't buy the sex and drugs… I know you, I certainly knew you then," as Tash stood Shepard took up a defensive stance but didn't throw any more hits.

"Truth… you wouldn't know the truth if it punched you in the face if it's got anything to do with the Alliance… all that crap they sold us means shit to them… we're just tools and if you can't see that you need to take you fuckin rose tinted glasses off..." Tash made a lunge and grabbed Shepard in a head lock which was reciprocated.

They both struggled to exert pressure, both their heads close together, and breath coming in short bursts.

"I… know you… work… for Cerberus…" Shepard knew they had to get it out in the open and as she finished saying the words Tash gave a roar and threw Shepard against the side of the Mako.

Shepard caught her breath and once again took up a defensive stance and continued, "Why Tash, everything they stand for, everything they do is against everything we believe… I'd expect this of your father but not you."

Tash was looking down at her hands then looked up and gave Shepard a cold hard smile, "my fuckin father was always too much an Alliance suck up to put his beliefs into action… he's too good for Cerberus… but not his fuck up daughter… his disappointment of a daughter… you know he's the reason they asked me… they reckon the apple didn't fall far from the tree," Tash squared up again and began to move slowly and Shepard sensed a building of anger once again from her cousin.

"Tell you one thing that always kinda pissed me off… such great friends… family… almost sisters…" Tash now began to put together combinations of hits and feints that Shepard was content to defend against, "where… the… fuck… were you… when I… got canned… and dumped out on my arse…obeyed my father's directive did you… exiled from the family… where were you Elvee," the last combination landed blows to Shepard's ribs, side of her head and jaw.

Although staggered by the force of the blows Shepard stayed on her feet and decided to end the fight before any real damage was done. She moved fast and before Tash knew what was happening Shepard had flanked her landing several blows to the kidney area, side of her head and as Tash turned to face her Shepard finished with the heel of her hand to Tash's nose.

Tash hit the ground hard and Shepard could see she had been jarred badly. Standing over her Shepard spoke quietly but calmly and with care.

"You were meant to be with me, on leave, we planned it together Tash. The week you got thrown out of the Alliance we should have been on leave together on Elysium. But I was there on my own and we all know what happened." To Shepard's relief she sensed Tash's anger and hate fade away to be replaced with sadness and loss.

Shepard offered Tash a hand up but the blonde haired woman got up on her own.

"By the time that all played out it was too late to find you, and the missions came thick and fast, it was just too late Tash."

The taller woman turned her back on Shepard and said over her shoulder, "it should never have been too late Elvee, I would have tracked you down no matter how long it took me."

As Tash began to walk away Shepard reached out and caught her arm and said, "I'm really sorry Tash, I should have come after you, I know that now."

Tash pulled away but not hard, and nodding her head once continued to head for the elevator on the back wall.

Shepard looked after her and now she knew why Tash was so angry with her. And she had a point, Shepard realised how much she had let Tash down and how caught up in her own life and career she had been.

'_Well you better make it right now Shepard… and get to the bottom of this Cerberus thing,_' Shepard thought as she made her way back to her cabin and a stiff drink.

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Edi's voice brought Shepard back to the present; she was on her third brandy, still feeling the effects of the fight with Tash, and running their exchange over in her mind.

"Shepard a priority call from Cerberus would you like to take it here?"

"Yep, put it through," Shepard got up and went to her desk and waited for the QEC to pull together the image of her caller, who would almost definitely be Harper.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you Commander," Harper was sitting against his usual impressive backdrop. Cold blue eyes glinting and the ever present cigarette between his fingers.

"Not at all, I'm just getting drunk on your very good brandy," she was flippant whatever he wanted it must be important but she wasn't going to show any interest.

"We have just had an indication from one of our listening posts that the human colony of Horizon has just experienced a comms blackout. A ship bearing a Collector energy signal has also just jumped a relay that connects to the Horizon system. I believe they are on their way to attack it, this could be your opportunity to get there hard on their heels."

"So what you finally worked out how to track them… or do you now have a big enough network to keep tabs on colonies in a way the Alliance with all their resources haven't been able to?" She couldn't keep the sarcasm out of her voice, but if this was true it was a unique opportunity.

"Luck Shepard, based on guesswork, but mostly luck, nothing more sinister I assure you. We really must try to trust each other even if it's only on the matter in hand. Cerberus is a real ally not only against the Collectors but also against the Reapers. We know as well as you do what's coming and we won't leave you stand on your own." Harper flicked the end of his cigarette before lifting it to his mouth and taking a deep draw. "I'm sending all the relevant information, good hunting."

Before she could respond he cut the connection. She wanted to damn him, but he was right, to all intents and purposes it was only Cerberus who was not only awake to but actively working against the Collector and Reaper threat.

"Edi, call all officers and specialists to the comms room for a meeting in thirty minutes. Get Joker in the cockpit if he's not already there and head for Horizon all speed. Ship to def con two, heightened security, ready for full battle stations when we are one hour out from Horizon."

"Copy that Shepard."

Shepard headed for the shower and a clean set of BDU's.

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Normandy – approach to Horizon

Mordin had achieved the breakthrough they needed in relation to the seeker swarms shortly after Fehl Prime. Not only had he synthesised protection from the effects it could also be used to awaken anyone already affected.

Kas and Veetor had also developed a programme that created a small field around the wearer that made them 'invisible' to the swarm entirely. These had been incorporated into the ground team's armour.

She stood, as usual, between her two pilots watching the planet come into view.

"Scans of the planet show a Collector ship on the ground just outside the main settlement. We are showing a lot of activity on the ground. But the ship is inactive at this time." Edi's voice was clear in the cockpit.

Miranda already had the ship to full battle stations and they were set at def con alpha.

"Ok, let's run the same playbook. When we have the guns ready we synchronise our attack, but keep this ship safe Joker. They may have changed their tactics based on Fehl Prime."

"You don't need to tell me twice Commander," Joker's voice was steady and calm and had his usual hint of flippancy.

Shepard was pleased that the Collectors were no longer the invincible bogey men, they knew now they could take them down, with skill, the right equipment… and a little luck.

She made her way quickly to the shuttle bay and joined her ground team for the trip to the planet.

On the fast trip to Horizon Shepard had contacted her Alliance liaison, Captain Shepard, to alert them of the probably attack. The news back was not great. The nearest Alliance vessels would be almost twenty four hours behind them and there was a problem with the guns that had been installed.

The targeting mechanisms were still not working; they would need to be hacked into the Normandy systems manually.

She noticed briefly how crowded the shuttle was. The Normandy now had a ground force of nearly twenty, usually split into two squads comprising members of the special ops team and Shepard's specialists distributed where their particular skills would work best.

She decided to run through the ground attack plan on the way down. The scans had revealed hot spots of Collector activity and pin pointed the location of the guns and the information had been transferred to their OT's.

"Tash you'll lead squad one and Kasumi to cut off the Collectors taking colonists to the ship. You can see they have some kind of production line inside the colony for packing people into those pods then they're walking them to the ship. Take and hold the edge of the colony, don't try to take them on the open ground, those already on that journey are lost, but you stop them taking any more." Tash nodded as she studied the ground map.

"Garrus you'll lead squad two with Mordin and head into the colony where it looks as if they are collecting the colonists they've put into stasis and making them ready for transport. Take control of that area. Once secured, revive colonists and arm them, we need all the help we can get." Garrus also answered her with a nod.

"You two are with me and we have the extraordinary fun of fighting our way to the gun emplacements on our own, holding them against attack until we can get them up and running and continuing to fight off anything the Collectors throw at us," she spoke to Grunt and Jack and to her amusement they both looked delighted.

Grunt flexed his muscles and slammed his fists together and Jack's biotics flared slightly and her smile would have chilled the heart of the toughest soldiers Shepard knew.

"Malania, once you've dropped us off get back to the Normandy," there would be no retreat, they would stand or fall in the fight and if things went badly they would need medical personnel on the ground quickly and for that the Doc would need the shuttle.

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They had been fighting on the ground for nearly an hour. Shepard and her team had met heavy resistance and they were still too far from the guns.

Shepard was also dealing with the same phenomenon that Sovereign had used in their final fight when it took over Saren's body. This new Reaper took control of a Collector body making it much stronger and, as before, it was able to speak directly to her.

It was unnerving and disconcerting, and it seemed neither Grunt nor Jack could hear what 'Harbinger' was saying.

"We are your genetic destiny…you will know pain Shepard… I will tear you apart Shepard… we are the Harbinger of your perfection" the voice actually caused pain in her mind, and she had an almost uncontrollable urge to rip off her helmet… it was as if this Harbinger was inside her head with her.

Her team focussed on taking down the Collector who was being controlled, then worked through the others, then continuing their run to the gun emplacements.

"Boss, we've pretty much secured the transport line at the edge of the colony, I suggest we rig up some explosive traps here but then head into the colony. We could try to work our way towards the guns behind you?" Tash's voice was clear and steady through Shepard's comms.

"Agreed," they had been sharing updates and Shepard knew Tash's team had been almost fought to a standstill until they got the upper hand using a decoy manoeuvre. "Garrus sit rep," Shepard asked, the last report had his squad having set up a solid defensive position protecting a large number of colonist's who they were beginning to revive.

"We can hold this position easily with half the squad, I'm going to take the other half and converge on your position."

Shepard was happy to let her squad leaders make their own threat and tactical assessments, and the key priority was to get the guns online.

"Agreed," Shepard and her team were moving fast but it wasn't long until they saw another wall of Collectors and the strange husk creatures that fired canons.

And before long Harbinger was whispering in her ear again about all the terrible ways he would make her suffer if she didn't just give up and accept her genetic destiny.

Shepard's team finally reached the guns and she set to hacking the targeting system into the Normandy and charging up the weapons. Grunt and Jack covered her but as soon as she was done and handed completion over to Edi, Shepard turned once again to face the seemingly endless waves of Collectors and their husks.

At one point she was fighting off a horde of humanoid husks with her hand canon in one hand and her omni blade on the other.

Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse their eyes were drawn to a massive airborne creature flying in from the direction of the Collector ship. When it got closer it looked as if it had thirty heads, but whatever it was it was hugely powerful with extensive barriers.

All they could do was dodge its attacks while still fighting off the canon firing husks and the now, finally, thinning Collectors.

Then from the roofs of the building to the right she saw a line of soldiers, Tash's squad, who all focussed fire on the flying demon. Under the sustained firepower and the extra biotics the creatures barriers soon came down and they finished it off in short order.

Garrus approached from buildings behind them and the remaining attacks began to fall away.

"Commander we have control of the guns and they are targeted, Normandy weapon systems are go," Miranda's voice came loud and clear through Shepard's comms.

"You have a go, fire, fire, fire," Shepard gave the command; now all she could do was watch.

The Collector ship had already started to lift from the ground, and it was doing so at a much faster speed than the one on Fehl Prime.

The guns fired and the ground shook with the recoil, they hit the barriers around the ship as it continued to speed up.

"It's coming up at speed Miranda I don't like it… Joker be ready to get the fuck out of there," Shepard really didn't like the way the Collector ship was behaving.

It was already almost out of the atmosphere by the time the guns had gotten off a third shot.

Then a very stressed Joker's voice came through on the comms.

"It's heading straight for us Commander… I'm trying… Edi don't fire on it I need all the control to the helm," in the background Shepard could hear Edi confirming trajectory and Miranda calling to the crew to brace for impact.

Shepard could do nothing but stare up into a clear blue sky, scarred by a massive vapour trail from the rising ship.

She took off her helmet without taking her eyes from the sky. The chatter through her suit comms continued.

The Normandy had taken a hit; they were pulling a screaming turn to get out of the way… then…

"We're clear Commander… and the Collector ship just jumped to FTL," Joker's voice was now more relaxed.

"Damage report," Shepard asked.

"Some damage to shielding where the Collector ship glanced our side. Minor damage to systems, Commander, a couple of tactical ops crew experienced burns and shock when their terminals overloaded. No other casualties or damage," Miranda's voice was business-like and calm.

"Well apart for leaving my lunch somewhere at the beginning of that truly amazing turn I pulled… and maybe a cracked rib… but yeah… the best pilot in the galaxy is ok… thanks for asking," Joker was now in full flippant mode and it was good to hear.

Shepard, her team and the other squad members all took some time to just sit. They started shedding helmets and armour; took some water and food.

After Shepard had had a drink and thrown some water over her head she asked the inevitable question.

"Casualties?"

"One dead and two badly injured from my squad," Tash answered.

"Half the squad caught minor injuries, two serious but not fatalities," Garrus's voice was quiet. He knew better than anyone how much Shepard hated losing people.

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The ground team remained dirtside until the Alliance arrived the next morning.

They revived all the remaining colonists and tried to give them some reassurance and a sense of safety.

The colonists were all grateful to Shepard and her team, but those who had lost family and friends to the Collectors were subdued, understandably.

She found herself saying sorry to a large number of the colonists for not being able to save their family and friends. And although, for her, they were empty words they seemed to bring some comfort to those who were grieving.

On the positive side they had gained a lot of intel from the fight. The tactics the Collectors and perhaps their Reaper masters used with their thralls.

And weapons, they had picked up particle beam weapons that they would be able to replicate. But most of all they had met two more kinds of 'husk' that they could study for weaknesses.

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With her crew settled back on board and all her reports made, Shepard made ready to try to get some sleep.

She noticed a vid message with an Omega origin sitting on her console and almost ignored it, but curiosity got the better of her and she sat down at her desk and flicked play.

It was Aria T'Loak in person.

"Shepard, take this as a… friendly invitation… but make no mistake I need you to visit me on Omega as soon as you get this message… it will be mutually beneficial."

And with that the message ended.

'_Not good at asking… bet she would have preferred to order me to an audience with her,'_ Shepard thought and smiled. She called up Miranda and Joker on ship comms.

"We have been invited to Omega so lay in a course, Miranda we can carry out any repairs we may need when we get there."

Shepard heard the affirmative responses but she was already crawling under the covers. Sleep had been hard to come by the last week; the nightmares had been much more frequent.

Whether it was the level of exhaustion or the disturbing, painful, headful of Reaper she had endured on Horizon her worse nightmare plagued her that night.

She was on the beach again… and again she was searching for Liara… this time when she found Liara she was nursing a small bundle… a baby wrapped in her arms… but the dream played out the same way… Shepard couldn't get to her, couldn't make her understand she had to run.

The darkness engulfed Liara and the baby leaving them, like all the others on the beach, desiccated corpses with rictus grins. As always Shepard tried to run, but this time the darkness, the dark, cold, unforgiving mist kept moving towards her.

As she felt it touch the edge of her body she felt absolute agony throughout every nerve ending in her body and her mind was on fire with pain. A screaming flooded her ears, someone was screaming in agony and terror…


	39. Chapter 39

A/N In this chapter we see lovers almost reunited. Politics and intrigue are never far away as we continue to weave the threads of this Shepard's journey; hopefully… with the woman she loves by her side very soon.

Chapter 39

Omega – two days post Horizon

The Normandy had been directed to one of Aria's personal docking bays. But despite its secure nature Shepard was still going to keep a full security detail on at all times.

She gave non-essential crew two days leave but asked her science team to carry on analysing the new husk creatures they had run into on Horizon.

Shepard had a couple of hours before her meeting with Aria so set about sourcing materials for the repairs to the Normandy hull.

She watched Tash slip away no doubt headed for her pre-arranged meeting with Liselle.

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As Tash walked into the room followed by Liselle she just had enough time to see Aria sitting behind her desk studying a data pad before she was lifted off her feet and slammed into the wall so hard that all the breath left her body.

Aria had barely glanced at the tall human as she walked in and with only a slight flick of her fingers had placed the woman in a stasis field and threw her against the wall, proving, if proof be needed, just how powerful a biotic she was.

Tash was pinned off the floor and she felt an invisible hand around her throat, grip tight enough to be uncomfortable but not actually choking her.

Whatever Liselle was about to say never died on her lips as she was quelled with one glance from Aria.

The Queen of Omega came from behind the desk using her most languorous, hip swivelling walk, covering the space between her and Tash.

Aria replaced her biotic grip with her own hand, released the stasis field but held Tash where she was so that they were eye to eye.

"Don't ever fuck with me again… if I get the slightest uncomfortable feeling about your loyalty to me I will personally tear your heart out of your chest while you watch… you are only alive because I allow it," Aria's voice was silky smooth and soft but the power of her presence, her will and her words ripped through Tash like the thrust of a hawk fighter drive core at maximum FTL.

In one movement Aria let Tash drop and turned away moving back towards her desk. Tash dropped to the floor and her knees buckled but she stood up quickly, rubbing her neck a little before following Aria to the edge of the desk.

"Now let's see what you really have hidden away in that mind of yours," and before Tash could even fully register what Aria was saying she felt the Asari enter her mind like a force of nature.

At the end of the meld Tash felt as if every part of her had been fully investigated and non to gently, but she was sure there would be no lasting effects, Aria was more a physical punisher.

Aria was pleased that Tash had indeed shown the whole truth to Liselle. And that Tash did have some substance, strength of mind, she was no coward and was fiercely loyal to Liselle.

It seemed she really cared for her daughter. Of course she had many other irritating honourable traits, but she couldn't expect anything else for Shepard's relative.

While Tash was getting them some drinks Liselle spoke quietly enough so that only Aria could hear.

"Was the assault and the threat really necessary," Liselle was tentative she knew her mother had a line even with her that Aria would not allow to be crossed.

"Never allow any transgression to go unpunished Liselle, only the degree of retribution never whether to punish at all… those who consider the risk of crossing me worth trying are always watching to see what consequences may come their way if they try and fail… it's all about communication Liselle," Aria ended with one of her knowing and cold smiles, the kind that didn't reach her eyes.

Aria went back to her desk and began working while Tash and Liselle sat with their drinks in silence and waited for Shepard's arrival.

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When Shepard arrived at Afterlife she was escorted directly to Aria's private office. The club was quieter than she had ever seen it. Although there was still a sprinkling of weary party goers they looked as if they had been there all night.

Shepard took a moment to take in the Queen of Omega's private space. It was a large room with three doors on the left leading, no doubt, into the rest of Aria's private quarters.

On the far wall stood a large bank of screens, mostly blank but two showing camera feeds of what looked like streets on Illium and the Citadel. Shepard had expected Aria to have Omega pretty much completely under her eye but it seemed her reach was as wide as rumour suspected.

In front of the screens stood an impressive desk that was carved from a cream stone and edged with a highly polished silver and a blue glass top. To the right was a sitting area, long sofa and two large armchairs around a low table.

But it was the art and the general décor that really surprised Shepard, although she'd never given thought to how Aria arranged her private life, the level of taste and beauty was at odds with her public personae.

Aria was sitting behind her desk but rose as Shepard entered the room. Tash and Liselle were sitting on the large sofa; Tash looked subdued and not a little tense.

Liselle was sitting back with one arm across the back of the sofa, her fingertips just touching the edge of Tash's shoulder, and she looked as alluring as the last time Shepard had seen the commando captain.

"You look like shit Shepard," Aria moved to sit in one of the armchairs and indicated Shepard do the same.

"Whereas you look as beguiling as ever Aria," Shepard inclined her head slightly as she raised her eyebrows but also gave Aria a smirky grin.

Aria had noted dark patches under the eyes. The red cybernetic scars were more pronounced and angry looking than the last time they had met and the woman just looked exhausted. Shepard looked as if she had aged a decade from the fresh faced Commander who had met Aria while hunting Saren and the Geth.

"I asked to meet with Mikhailovich so that I could carry out a memory meld to confirm what Liselle had told me about her… status," Aria sat back and the armchair crossing one leg over the other, calf resting on leather coated thigh.

Shepard kept any surprise out of her voice or her demeanour.

"Well she does work for you and seems to be seeing a lot of your commando captain so I guess you had your reasons," Shepard gave a quick glance at Tash but she was intently studying the table between them.

"Yes well, it's because my commando captain is such an important asset that we are sitting here. Liselle has asked for my help with Mikhailovich's… problem.

It seems you only recently learned she works for Cerberus," Aria put up her hand to stop Shepard's attempt at an intervention and then continued, "but she hasn't told you the whole truth. And you need to have the full facts or I'm not going to get involved."

Shepard looked at Tash for an explanation; the woman looked extremely reluctant but began to speak quietly.

"I was recruited by Cerberus while still in the Alliance but I reported the approach to my superiors and… well Alliance Intelligence asked me to go along with it and work for them. The plan was for me to infiltrate Cerberus and to do that I needed to get thrown out of the Alliance. At which point they figured Cerberus would welcome me to its bosom as soldier to the cause," she paused and looked at Shepard.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me this straight off, and why the fuck didn't you tell me at the time… didn't you trust me?" Shepard couldn't keep all of the emotion out of her voice but she was mindful they had an audience.

Tash gave a hollow laugh and her face showed disgust and loathing, "well they were very explicit about two things. I was not under any circumstances ever tell anyone I was an Alliance double agent until given the authority by my handler… and absolutely under no circumstances was I to 'taint' my cousin or her upwardly headed glittering career with my grubby little assignment."

Shepard thought for a moment, Tash was still holding a lot of anger and the focus was still Shepard herself but they'd have to work that through later. She didn't bite on the sarcasm or the taunt and answered without reproach.

"Tash they cut you off from the one person who would have told you not to do it that you were worth more to the Alliance, the Navy, as the soldier and officer you were. That's what I would have told you then and I still believe that now."

Aria's languid drawl interrupted the conversation, "much as I'm enjoying your family therapy session Shepard perhaps we could get to business?"

Shepard nodded and gave Aria her full attention.

"Liselle has asked me to get Mikhailovich…," Liselle interrupted quietly but firmly.

"Could you perhaps call her Tasha, Aria?" The look they exchanged was unreadable but Aria gave a small tilt of the head as she continued speaking.

"Liselle, who had better continue to be an outstanding asset for my organisation, has asked me to try to get her lover free from Cerberus. I have no intention of giving Cerberus any leverage over me whatever the benefits might be.

And if Cerberus ever finds out that she was a double agent they will hunt her down and kill her even if only as a signal to others. That's certainly what I'd do," Aria gave Tash a hard stare and then continued.

"I suggest that 'Tasha' starts putting on an act and reverts to the state she was in when she first came to Omega. Drinking, drugs… dis-functional behaviour… in effect she needs to become, at least on the surface a useless asset.

After a few months I will contact the Illusive Man furious that he has tried to place an agent in my organisation and work out a deal with him to 'acquire' her. He will believe he is giving away nothing and also smoothing his relations with me."

It was devious and played to human expectations it was genius, Shepard could see why Aria had been so successful in building her empire.

"So where do I fit in?" Shepard asked.

"You will need to deal with the Alliance end, I understand that they are being less than supportive and if Mikhailovich appears to come to work for me and cut her ties with Cerberus they may not want to let her go and I won't house an Alliance spy, even an unwilling one." As Aria spoke she gestured with her hands towards Tash.

"Ok, we'll get it done." Shepard could see that Tash would probably never be able to re-join the Alliance. If she did Cerberus would immediately know that something was wrong.

"Good. Now I also have some information regarding the Shadow Broker for you Shepard. Accept it as a down payment on another favour in the future." Shepard was under no illusions about their relationship. At some point Aria would ask for something and Shepard would need to oblige.

"Tela Vasir an Asari Spectre is one of the Broker's top agents and is still sniffing around T'Soni's situation. But I also believe Vasir may well hold some information that will help pin point the Broker's base," Aria allowed herself a smile at Shepard's reaction.

This was very useful and high value information and if Vasir could help put the pieces together Shepard may be able to take the Shadow Broker down before Liara's return from the Temple.

Almost as if Aria had read her mind she said, "And it may be better all-round if the Broker could be dealt with before T'Soni gets back in the fight."

Aria was about to dismiss them and get back to work when a thought struck her. How amusing it would be to 'entertain' her daughters' lover and best friend. A secret taste of 'family life'. And so with a smile she said.

"Well perhaps you would like to join me for some lunch?" Aria smiled at the reaction her suggestion had caused in the room.

Liselle's face only momentarily showed her questioning amusement, Tash looked frozen to the spot and Shepard frowned slightly as if her translator had malfunctioned.

"Um, well, most unexpected… if it's not too much trouble," Shepard could have cut her tongue out she sounded like a nervous teenager in the company of the grown-ups.

Aria's smile was one of genuine amusement and she even gave a small chuckle, "it's good to know I can put the saviour of the Citadel on the back foot merely by offering food."

Shepard smiled back and even Tash looked as if she was relaxing.

"I have a personal chef and all the supplies are shipped in from Thessia," Aria said as she moved to her desk and began tapping instructions into her console.

"Aria also has a pastry chef, we Asari are very partial to sweet things," Liselle was smiling and looked extremely amused. She stretched in a very sensual way and stroked Tash cheek who returned to looking nervous with a glance in Aria's direction.

"Well what is the point of being the most powerful… the Queen of Omega if you will… de facto ruler of the Terminus System if I can't have everything I desire," Aria returned to her seat.

"Since the first time I met you I had a feeling you were born to rule," Shepard said with a smile as she took the wine that Liselle was now passing around.

"Hmm, perhaps not exactly born… but certainly my particular attributes were uniquely developed and suited to the path I choose," her answer was unusually frank.

While they waited for the food to arrive and over a very delicious lunch Aria entertained them with stories from her long and interesting past. Always careful with details that could give any of her secrets or too much of her history away, she was an amusing and interesting story teller.

Shepard saw more clearly how Aria had maintained her power for so long. Many get to the top but few go the distance and last as long as Aria had. For that a leader needs not only the ruthlessness and brute force necessary to take power but the intelligence, charm and charisma to hold it.

Aria sat back and was surprised by how enjoyable she had found her experiment. Despite the toll that Shepard's work was taking on her she remained a powerful and attractive woman. Shepard possessed one of the strongest wills, strength of mind and sheer bloodymindedness that Aria had met in anyone in many centuries, perhaps ever.

If circumstances had been different she might even have moved to get to know her more intimately, but that would never happen, if for no other reason than Liara.

When the party broke up Shepard headed back to the Normandy to oversee the repairs and speak to her science team. She was left wondering what she had just experienced and once again sensed there was something personal at the back of some of Aria's interaction with her and about Liara.

But she had no time to dwell on it or this growing phenomena of 'sensing' things from other people on occasion.

She left Tash with Liselle who, no doubt, were heading for Liselle's private quarters to 'catch up'.

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Normandy – two days post Omega

Shepard was in the comms room waiting at the QEC for a call from Councillor Tevos tagged as high priority. The Normandy was investigating some anomalous signals emanating from a system that offered a statistically high probability for the human colonies located there to be the next target for a Collector attack.

Of course Shepard and Cerberus knew that they were only disrupting the Collectors. They needed to strike at their heart. But Shepard would take any victory she could, saving half a colony and making the Collectors think twice was no small feat.

The QEC sparked into life and interrupted her train of thought. As Councillor Tevos's form took shape Shepard was surprised to see how agitated, even emotional, the Councillor looked.

Realising the connection had been made Tevos composed herself immediately and it was the usual consummate professional that spoke.

"Commander thank you for your prompt response," Tevos said. "I…, the Council need you to join Spectre Bau and Spectre Vasir with a situation that is unfolding as we speak.

There has been a slaver attack on a Council colony at the edge of our space and whilst all slaver attacks are regrettable when they happen in Council space they have to be dealt with in the strongest terms.

But there is another reason that this attack will be met with the full force of the Council. Amongst those taken was a Council delegation which included the Asari Ambassador Matriarch Alexia Irissa," Shepard saw emotion again flash almost imperceptibly in Tevos's eyes. "Spectre Bau will contact you immediately we have completed our conversation."

"I understand Councillor, I'll do everything I can to get everyone back safe," Shepard answered.

"Thank you Commander, I know I can rely on you… Matriarch Irissa is a close personal friend, the situation is very troubling."

The connection ended and Shepard mused to herself that even when she was obviously deeply personally affected the Councillor was restrained in her choice of words and maintained her composure.

The QEC almost immediately sparked back into life and she focussed her mind on what Spectre Bau would have to say.

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As the Normandy flashed through the relay and into the Templar System the ship was at full battle stations.

"How long to will reach Grieg Prime?" Shepard asked from her position behind Joker's chair.

"Forty six minutes Commander, picking up another ship ahead of us," Joker answered his fingers moving quickly and expertly across the haptic interfaces in front of him.

"Edi can you confirm that's Bau's ship ahead of us?" Shepard began walking back towards the CIC.

"Confirmed Commander, I am attempting to connect you to Spectre Bau."

"Good, put it through to the comms room please," Shepard had reached CIC and spoke to Miranda, "let's go see what the plan is."

Shepard and Miranda entered the comms room which also served as Kasumi's tech and comms teams working space.

"Sorry Kas could we have the room for this call please," Shepard didn't know what level of security would be required for the conversation she was about to have and even though she trusted her crew she had to follow Council protocol sometimes.

The team had only just exited the room when the comms console sparked into life and shortly thereafter the figure of a Salarian drew itself into life.

"Shepard, glad you could join me," the Salarian spoke in a friendly tone.

Jondum Bau had been one of the Spectre's who had helped induct Shepard and had been particularly friendly and helpful. They had a mutual friend in Captain Kirrahe of the Salarian Special Tasks Group.

"I never say no to a fight with slavers Jondum," she smiled and waited for him to brief her.

"This is a particularly nasty organisation Shepard. Tela Vasir and I have been working on them for over a year. Vasir is chasing down the senior members of the operation and we are tasked to stop their current operation in its tracks through the direct route," Shepard nodded. She briefly wondered if Aria knew she may be crossing paths with Vasir but put it down to coincidence.

"You know they hit the colony world just inside Council space yesterday," Jondum continued, "taking colonists and the visiting Citadel diplomats. It seems our diplomats were on an unofficial visit so Vasir is also trying to find out whether that was luck or a tip off."

"So you think they'll try to ransom the diplomats for credits?" Shepard asked.

"In all likelihood yes, but even though they see themselves as running a business we know they won't hesitate to kill their slaves to deter rescue missions," the Salarians' face was grim. Shepard knew only too well the 'business' model he was talking about.

"So what's the plan," Shepard asked, "all I know is that you've managed to track their raids return to this home base."

"Yes but as far as plans go…" he smiled and she knew exactly what he meant.

They would be flying into an unknown hot zone with probably only enough time to do some cursory scans of the planet and whatever facility the gang had.

The only certain thing was that both Shepard's and Bau's teams would be going in hot against uncertain odds.

"We can expect them to engage our ships with whatever fleet they have stationed here… but the ship with the hostages will head for safety on the planet. I suggest that as our ships engage we launch shuttles and follow the ship to the surface. What ground forces do you have with you Jondum?" Shepard was sure this plan was what her counterpart had in mind.

"I have a full squad of twenty C-Sec officers from the Special Response division and a couple of specialists from the Network division to help us track further bases," Jondum was distracted for a moment and then turned back to Shepard.

"We are approaching the planet fast Shepard, we estimate another ten minutes and our presence will be discovered."

"Well good thing is they'll only see one ship coming. We'll remain in stealth until we engage the enemy with you, give a bit of an edge," Shepard had confirmation of the timing through a discreet nod from Miranda who had been monitoring their progress as Shepard was talking to Jondum.

"My team is ready to go I just need to join them. But I need to make one thing clear Jondum," for Shepard it was always critical that she had agreed mission parameters on joint operations. "Once the Normandy engages with the slaver ships we will not stop until they are destroyed, and I don't mean leaving them disabled, I mean we will give no quarter. Are we in agreement?" From what she knew of Jondum, she had read his operation and action reports along with the other Spectre's as part of her induction, her instinct indicated he would be in agreement.

"You have no argument from me Shepard. Although it should not influence my decisions as a Spectre, Salarians seem to be treated worse than other races and particularly badly by this group."

Shepard agreed with him, not only from the reports she had read, but also having seen the effects first-hand.

"Good, see you dirt side Jondum. Good hunting," Shepard smiled nodded and both Spectres cut the connection.

Turning to Miranda she said, "You heard what I said to Jondum. Destroy any and all slaver ships that engage us and that are in orbit around the planet."

"Copy that Commander."

Miranda headed for CIC and Shepard for the shuttle bay. There would be no time for her to start the operation as was her usual habit from behind Joker's chair.

The moment the Normandy and Pulsar, Jondums' ship, engaged in battle the shuttles would need to be launched.

When Shepard got to the shuttle the squads had already embarked and were settling in.

She nodded and tapped members of the team on the helmet or the shoulder as she walked through to the cockpit.

"Gonna be a hell of a ride to the dirt people… buckle up… we're going in fast and hot," when she reached the entrance to the cockpit she turned to face her team.

"Are we ready to save some people and kill some slavers," she yelled at her team as she felt the vibration of the shuttle engines pick up pace.

She got a range of nods and affirmatives from them team.

"I can't hear you soldiers… let's make sure they hear us coming from a long way off… are we ready to dance with these motherfucks?"

This time she got the response she was looking for. Biotics flared, Grunt slammed his fists together, marines shouted 'oorah' and every other member of the team shouted affirmatives with a good sprinkling of expletives.

Shepard sat in the co-pilots seat next to Malania. Looking across she could see the young Asari looking a little subdued, perhaps even nervous.

"I'll handle weapons you do your stuff with the bird," Shepard smiled and continued, "you're a hell of a pilot Malania you'll get us through and down safely I have no doubt." Shepard looked her pilot steadily in the eyes and saw her confidence grow.

"I won't let you down Commander," Malania's voice was calm and steady and Shepard saw the nervousness fade away.

"We have six ships approaching Commander; four heading up from the planet and two already in orbit. They are converging on the Pulsar, we are still undetected," Miranda's voice sounded in the cockpit of the shuttle.

"You have the conn LC engage the enemy when ready," Shepard handed over command of the Normandy and the ship to ship battle to Miranda.

It was always the most difficult thing to do, hand over her responsibility to another. But she couldn't be in two places at the same time and Shepard knew she had an outstanding team looking after her ship.

Shepard looked out onto the scene through the open bay doors as the Normandy closed on the Pulsar and the now converging slaver ships.

They were all frigate or raider class and they were all well-armed. The two frigates closest to the Pulsar began to fire and Shepard saw the hits flash across Bau's ships barriers and shields.

The Pulsar immediately returned fire as the Normandy came into position behind the two attacking ships. They felt the thud as the Normandy batteries opened up.

"Cleared to launch Commander," Miranda's voice was calm and business like over the ships comms.

The shuttle lifted off the deck and slid out the doors into the intricate dance of death and destruction that was occupying the huge swathe of space between the Normandy and the planets upper atmosphere.

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The trip to the surface had been every bit as dangerous as Shepard thought it would be. But the enhanced shielding and weaponry the shuttle had combined with inspired piloting by her young Asari commando they had made dirt side without any damage.

The fight to and through the slaver complex was hard. She split her team into two squads leading one herself and Garrus the other. They worked well with Bau's teams but it was still several hours before they found themselves gaining access to the underground facility.

Meanwhile the space battle had taken under an hour to resolve.

The slavers may have outnumbered the two Spectre ships but the Normandy in particular was no match for them.

All slaver ships were completely destroyed and the Pulsar found another two hiding behind the nearest mood and dispatched then both quickly to its surface.

It wasn't until the following midday that they fully secured the slaver complex. They had found the captives from the raid on the Council colony early in the fight and managed to save almost three quarters of the two hundred souls.

The others were being summarily shot by their captive's right up to the moment Shepard's team took them down with sniper head shots.

The other victims who were being processed were not as lucky as most of them had already been implanted with the control usual vicious devices in their heads.

This meant that they could be killed by the mere flick of a switch and it was only with a significant amount of work by Kas and Ish that they managed to jam enough signals to save a few hundred more.

But the facility was built to hold as many as fifteen hundred slaves before transport out and it was full.

The Council delegation was not at the facility. The rescued colonists told Shepard and Bau that just after passing through the relay into the system the Council representatives had been taken to a shuttle but that was all they knew.

Shepard was now sitting in a room which passed as an engineering room for the facility and was facing two Batarians who Bau's C-Sec men had managed to capture.

Both Shepard and Bau had a clear no prisoners rule, they had no illusions about being able to get information out of any slavers and they had no particular desire to give any of the murdering scum they had to deal with a comfortable bed and three meals a day in a Citadel prison.

So Bau had sent his men to the surface and left Shepard to deal with the 'prisoners'.

She decided to at least go through the motions.

"So which one of you is going to tell me where you sent the rest of your captives," Shepard sat on the edge of a desk holding her hand canon across her thigh.

Tash was leaning up against the wall, cigar hanging from her mouth, rifle cradled in her arms across her chest. Garrus was sitting in a chair near the door, he had always pushed against the red tape when he was a C-Sec officer, wanting justice rather than upholding the law.

This is what Shepard and the other Spectres were able to do, but somewhere inside there was a nagging voice that sounded a little like Executor Palin. He pushed the voice and his doubts down. They were for another time, not now on a mission.

"We will negotiate with you only when we are in C-Sec on the Citadel," the taller of the two was smiling. They both knew if they got to the Citadel there was always a chance they could escape or bribe their way out.

Shepard stood up and walked slowly up and stood in front of the Batarian who had just spoken. She looked him in the eyes and saw nothing but hate and cruelty.

"Negotiate this," in a fluid and fast movement as she spoke the words she drew up her canon and blew the top of his head off.

The other Batarian, who was standing next to the now toppling body, actually gasped and looked frightened.

"That's and unusual reaction… you must be new to this?" Shepard turned to the Batarian who flinched under her stare.

"I… yes… first… only just…no choice… brothers," he was babbling and began to shake with fear.

Shepard studied him and looked into his eyes; she couldn't see hate or cruelty. Neither could she sense the usual range of negative, destructive, dead emotions that clung to every other slaver she had the misfortune to meet.

"How long you been here?"

"O… only… a few days… came to upgrade…"

"Upgrade what, what's your job," Shepard said now interested.

"Tech, I'm a comms tech, my brother got me the job of upgrading the… his…" it was evident that he didn't know how to describe the organisation that he had come to work for.

"Where did they take the other prisoners?" Shepard now reverted to her intimidating stare and started to gesture with her canon in his direction.

"Not… I don't… shuttle called… not really…"

"Did they give any indication…" Shepard took a deep breath. Intimidating him was getting him flustered so she decided to change tack.

"Come over here and sit down," she pointed to a desk on the edge of the wall and holstered her canon.

Once he was sitting down she tried again.

"Now tell me, do you have any idea where they took them or where they might have taken them?"

Tash moved from the wall and walked over to the now sitting Batarian and handed him a drink. She squeezed his shoulder as he took it and said, "Try to calm down she's not all bad, you might even walk out of here if you try to help us."

Shepard gave her an imperceptible nod it was a good move and the Batarian did look less panicked.

"I'm not sure where they took them," he continued quickly before she could say anything, "but I've already been to two other sites like this one and upgraded the comms system. I could tell you where they are and unlock the security on the comms systems including records if you wanted me to."

She thought for a moment then spoke into her suit comms.

"Kas I'm sending a Batarian up who might be able to speed up your work trying to get into their systems."

"A prisoner Shep?" Kas's voice was amused but she continued more seriously, "well that would be a help, seems they have just been upgraded and the security will be time consuming to get through."

"Well our prisoner was the one that upgraded it, oh and get the cords for the other bases he knows about then send them to Bau and Miranda." She turned back to the Batarian, "what's your name?"

"Boorlan Pazness, thank you, I am sorry," the Batarian gave a quick glance as Shepard not really wanting to catch her eye.

"Yeah well don't get to grateful… how old are you anyway?" Shepard asked him as she pulled him to his feet and they all headed for the door to move back up the levels.

"I am almost twenty three," he replied.

"Which makes him around sixteen human equivalent, boss," Tash chipped in, "just a kid."

"Yeah, have you seen what these bastards do to kids," Shepard was in no mood to get sentimental about one young Batarian who was just getting started slaving even if it probably wasn't his own choice.

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By the time they had finished extracting all they could from the slaver base and they were back on board the Normandy, with Pazness in the brig, a Council transport had already picked up the freed captives and was heading back to the Citadel.

They had set charges and completely destroyed everything on the ground.

Shepard and Bau had decided to storm the bases they now had locations for. Not only the two that the young Batarian had visited but from his unlocking the security system they were pretty sure they had the addresses of three more.

They were going to call in some help; they wanted to hit the bases at the same time or in very quick succession. This would prevent the organisation having too much notice its security had been breached and abandoning bases or moving their Council captives.

It would take a few days to set up and over another week to execute all the attacks and searches. That would bring them within days of the end of the year and Shepard started to think about the last new year she had faced.

The galaxy was a very different place then, before she had 'died', before the first Normandy had been destroyed and before she had lost Liara.

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Normandy – mission rendezvous point – Mindus Cluster

Shepard had just returned to the Normandy with Miranda, Garrus and Tash from their planning meeting on Jondum Bau's ship. Tela Vasir had also been present and Shepard's was still working on her impression of the Asari.

They were ready to move on the slaver bases. Once underway they, with the C-Sec ships from the Special Response Division, they would head to their specific targets carrying out a synchronised attacks.

It would take fifteen hours for them to reach their respective positions.

"Shepard there is a high priority call return request that I suggest you make in your private quarters," Edi's voice was quiet in her ear as the message came through her private comms channel.

Shepard stopped to let the others move away, "but we have a security blackout Edi as we always do on active missions. Only mission specific or…" before Shepard could continue Edi cut across.

"Yes Shepard but this was a request from the T'Soni estate Temple of Siari. Was I wrong to think that you would make an exception in this case?" Edi asked.

"No absolutely not… thank you Edi… on my way," Shepard broke into a run to the elevator and went straight to her cabin.

Almost crashing into the edge of her desk she quickly pumped the relevant commands into the QEC and waited.

The sight that coalesced before her eyes almost broke her heart with joy.

"Liara," Shepard gasped her voice breathless. She leaned closer and instinctively raised her hand to try to touch the outline of her lover.

"Oh Shepard, my love," Liara mirrored Shepard's hand movement but her voice was strong and the joy of its greeting raised a huge smile on Shepard's face.

"Your back… are you back… are you well… where are you," Shepard rambled all the time drinking in Liara's smiling face and grinning back.

"Yes, yes my darling I am back, changed as you would expect by any experience, but I am back," Liara emphasised the 'I' and that heartened Shepard to the core.

"When can I come to you… can I… is that ok yet… what am I thinking I'm in the middle of a mission I have to finish this first," again Shepard rambled while all the time still smiling and feeling nothing but sheer joy at the knowledge her beautiful Asari was healed.

"I did not expect you to be able to come immediately… I am going to stay a few more days at the Temple and then return home. I must still take things a little easy to get my physical strength back… but Shepard come home to me as soon as you can I have missed you so much," Liara had tears in her eyes but she continued to smile.

'_Home… yes she is home to me… I love you Liara'_ Shepard thought.

"Nothing will stop me coming back to you Liara, nothing… as soon as we've gotten the job done," Shepard said.

"Do you have a little time now for us to talk? I am not ready to let you go yet?" Liara asked her smile leaving her face for the first time.

"I have fourteen hours before I need to be anywhere other than here. But I'm not wearing you out before I have my arms around you darling so yes let's talk but only until as long as you don't tire," Shepard replied with a laugh.

Liara laughed out loud and the sound was like music to Shepard's ears.

"Yes perhaps fourteen hours would be a little excessive, so what have you been doing, how are the crew, have you visited Wrex yet?"

They chatted back and forth, mostly news from Shepard given Liara's confinement but also a little about how it had been for Liara living back on the family estate.

When they said their farewells they knew it would only be a matter of a week before they would be able to see each other, finally be together again. They parted with spirits high.

Shepard felt more like herself than she had for as long as she could remember. It wasn't just Liara that would be back, a part of Shepard that had been lost to her was also coming back, the best part of her.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

A/N this chapter is longer than I had intended… events overtook Shepard and the mission grew much bigger than first envisaged.

And we finally, at the end of the chapter get to see lovers very nearly almost reunited…

But first we must complete our mission to rescue the Citadel diplomats. There is reference to, but no description of, sexual assault.

Then our visit to Thessia will bring plenty of sunshine and finally some happiness for our troubled heroes… or should I say hera's….

Normandy – en route Planet Fleene - Kraks System

Shepard and Bau had split their combined fleet in three enabling a synchronised attack on each of the known slaver bases.

Shepard had two of the C-Sec ships and Jondum had four given the Normandy's superior fire power it only seemed fair. The third section comprised a further four C-Sec ships under the command Captain Palaus in lieu of the third Spectre in the operation.

Tela Vasir was not taking part in the direct attacks, instead she was using a small team to strike at known administrative and office operations in the Terminus system to maximise any intel that was available and in case taking down the bases didn't turn up the Council diplomats.

"Entering the Kraks System Commander," Joker spoke as he tapped the commands to drop out of FTL into one of the interfaces at the ends of his fingers.

"Kas launch the Signal Intelligence System and prepare to jam their communications," Shepard said across the ship's comms to Kasumi at her command console in CIC.

"SIS under way Commander, ready to go live in T minus ten," Kas replied.

"How long before they realise they are being jammed rather than it being an atmospheric or solar issue?" Shepard asked. The system that Kas and her team had developed was very sophisticated and could mimic the range of interference that occurred naturally in the atmosphere or in deep space.

If needed it could also be programmed to create havoc with communications, scrambling them up or inserting long static gaps, and covertly reducing an enemy's effectiveness.

"There's no reason they should know for sure it's an external threat unless they carry out their own independent atmospheric evaluations… which they probably don't have the equipment for… more likely to just wait out the problem in my opinion," Kas answered.

"Edi, connect me with the Captains Gravalos and Arnos please," Shepard was still standing behind Jokers chair even though the co-pilot seat was empty. Malania was already in the shuttle bay running through final prep for their mission.

"Putting in you through Shepard," Edi's voice seemed to come from the blue holographic projection playing above one of the AI's cockpit consoles.

"Captains the comms jamming will commence in T minus nine minutes. At which point the Normandy will proceed under stealth to the planet. You will proceed as agreed and wait behind the planets moon until we find out what we're dealing with." Shepard and her two C-Sec counterparts had already agreed the plan but as was her way she liked to make absolutely certain there would be no mistakes on joint operations.

Receiving an affirmative from both ship captains she slipped into the co-pilots chair and said to Joker, "Take us in nice and slow I don't want to be seen if we can possibly avoid it."

"Aye, aye Commander," Joker replied as he busied himself with the Normandy controls.

"Edi are you reading any ships in orbit?"

"There are no ships above the target and none in orbit around the planet Shepard," Edi answered, "I am scanning for any activity from the surface or incoming from outside the system."

"Good, let's see what we have then."

In their discussions Shepard and Bau had tried to identify the most likely location of the captive diplomats. As a high value commodity they would likely be taken somewhere secure.

The particular organisation that they were dealing with was, in fact, one of the Batarian companies that her old 'friend' Vert Plunes was financial advisor come accountant for.

On the surface trading as a legitimate corporation but all its profits built on its slaving and drug running operations. Operating all of its subsidiary businesses, mining in particular, with the slave labour its more disreputable side provided. But Batarians, even those whose business was slaves and drugs preferred to make straight forward profit from tried and tested methods.

And political kidnap was outside the usual repertoire of the slaving operation.

'_But something the Batarian Special Interventions Unit might do,'_ Shepard thought as she watched the planet grow larger in the cockpit window.

'_And using deniable terrorist actions are very much modus operandi for the SIU… which makes this a very different game.'_

Indeed if this was a Batarian sanctioned operation, even an opportunist one, the situation would become very difficult politically and there was no telling what would be required to get the hostages back.

So far the press blackout on the raid and in particular the loss of Council dignitaries had held, but that wouldn't last much longer.

"How long till the base goes dark Edi?" Shepard asked.

"Night is already falling over the base Shepard and it will be mid night cycle in five hours," Edi replied.

"Miranda start the mission clock, we will begin to infiltrate the base in stealth mode T minus six hours, mark." Shepard gave the final mission timing that would now be fed through to squad leaders on the Normandy and the Captains of the two supporting C-Sec ships.

The planet was now filling the cockpit window and they had taken up a geo synchronous orbit above their target.

"Edi get as much information about that base as possible from scanning and I don't like the look of those anti-ship canons they have on the ground. Once they know we're here I want those taken out as a priority," Shepard got up and headed for the CIC.

She drew up alongside Kas who was monitoring their signals jamming system.

"Kas can you possibly hack their computers on the ground, I don't need any secure information but a building floor plan would be useful," Shepard had no idea if Kas would be able to do this but the Doctor was a brilliant technician and highly skilled at 'acquiring' other peoples information.

"Hum, yes we wouldn't get far into their systems without having to do a major hack and they might notice that. But building maintenance files are usually easily accessible, which is a big mistake Shep," Kas smiled and had that tone in her voice it was a combination of mischievousness and the thrill of the challenge. "That information is a thief's best friend."

As she finished speaking Kas moved to another terminal and started working.

Shepard left her to her work and continued to walk through the CIC towards the elevator.

"Come on Miranda lets go see if our Batarian can offer anything useful on the base." This was one of the locations the young Batarian tech had previously visited.

The Normandy brig was a makeshift affair. Located in the hanger bay it was really only a caged secure area within the storage bay which housed a bed and a chair.

As Shepard approached the soldier assigned to watch the prisoner stood to attention and unlocked the cage door.

Stepping inside Shepard noted that Boorlan Pazness had a couple of data pads, one of which he had been reading and which now he put down on the bed as he looked up from the chair in her direction.

She thought for a moment considering how helpful he had been from the start. And, despite her rigidity, she could see he was no hardened slaver.

Shepard determined that when this was over she would sit down with him and find out what she could about how he had landed up where he did. But for now she needed a different conversation.

"We're in orbit around Fleene so I need you to describe the building layout, and suggest where they may be holding the Ambassador?" She kept her tone even and relaxed she seemed to be able to make him quake to the soles of his boots just by looking in his direction.

"Wwwould you like me to draw it out for you Ccommander?" he asked in a quiet voice studiously not catching her eye, "the… the parts I… that I was sent to?"

"That would be helpful yes," she said in a more friendly voice, "and what about where they might be holding the Ambassador?"

He seemed to relax a little and thought for a minute.

"I'm afraid it depends on how they want to treat her," he looked hesitate and began to look frightened Shepard was afraid he was going to clam up.

"Look why don't we agree between the two of us that you aren't involved in all of this. That anything you tell me about how brutal or vile your former colleagues might be or planning to be won't make me mad at you?" She watched him closely and saw him relax again, a little.

"They were joking about the treatment the Asari would get when they handed them over to the SIU… that they be… taught how to behave towards Batarian Hegemony and punished for supporting the Alliance… they said many terrible things….," his words faltered away and Shepard thought he actually looked a little ashamed.

"Nothing we can do about that right now," Shepard was seething with anger but she meant what she said to Pazness, she would exact retribution for any harm to the diplomats on those responsible.

"Commander shall I take him to a console where he can sketch out the layout as he knows it?" Miranda spoke from behind Shepard.

"Yes, and get details about what the rooms are used for it might give us an idea about where to look first," Shepard nodded at the young Batarian turned and headed back up to the CIC to check on Kas's progress.

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Surface of Fleene – Forty minutes into mission

The Batarians either hadn't noticed that their security systems were down or they weren't concerned enough to set any guards while they were blind. As such, and as planned, Shepard's strike force landed their three shuttles without detection.

She had sent one of the C-Sec teams to secure the bases space port and its long range shuttles just in case anyone tried to make a run for it. But as soon as their attack was discovered they would call in air strikes from the Normandy to take out all available transport which included two large cargo shuttles most likely used to transport slaves to and from the surface.

The Normandy would also take out the bases defence canons. A formidable array that would have caused problems if it they hadn't neutralised it with their systems hack.

Shepard left the bulk of her forces at their landing zone within strike distance of the main entrance. She would lead the Asari commando's from her special ops squad to covertly enter the base in an attempt to secure the hostages before a full front attack.

They had neutralised six Batarians so far and cleared their way to the first floor of the base. Boorlan had suggested that these quarters, on the first and second upper floors, were worth a look as it was where the base officers and any visitors stayed rather than the general quarters on the underground levels.

Like all Batarian facilities of this nature most of the base was underground built into old mine working or natural caverns. And it would be in the lowest levels that they would find the bulk of any other captives who would be undergoing the brain implant process before being shipped out to their respective end destinations.

Shepard stood outside one of the doors on the first floor and checked the rest of her team. Two commandos were positioned, as she was, outside each of the doors on the floor. On her mark they would enter the rooms and she was now confident that they would find at least some of the diplomats on this floor.

Ambassador Irissa was definitely behind Shepard's door. The Batarians had missed the short range tracking device that was implanted under her skin. Most Ambassadors' on the Citadel had them; they were a security measure used by C-Sec's diplomatic protection section to keep track of their locations.

Shepard had picked up its signal once they entered the base. Her scan of the room showed three heat signatures. She shared the scan with Achillia her Asari team mate standing next to her and they identified their individual targets.

Shepard switched out of infra-red vision as the light in the room appeared to be on; she also equipped a lethal, silenced hand gun. If her suspicions were correct then at least one of the Batarians was too close to the Ambassador for her to take him out by hand.

The door was not locked and in one fluid movement, mirrored and synchronised along the corridor, Shepard and Achillia entered the room.

Shepard had seconds to take in the scene. A Batarian to her right was leaning against some kind of table and Shepard noted the streak of quick death that was almost upon him in the shape of an Asari commando.

On the bed in front of her she could see another Batarian in the process of having sex. Shepard saw blue arms stretched at right angles and tied around the wrist to the bed head.

In the same moments as she registered the room and its inhabitants she had fired off a shot to the head of the Batarian on the bed and continuing to move forward reached the edge of the bed in three paces.

She hauled the now dead Batarian off the bed and swapping her pistol for a knife cut the cords that were securing the Ambassador. Achillia moved to the other side of the bed and began helping the Matriarch to sit up. It was clear to both Shepard and Achillia that she had been badly beaten and was barely conscious.

Shepard looked around for clothing. The room was obviously a bedroom and in a tall cupboard she found clothes, pulling out a shirt and trousers she made her way back to the bed and handed them past the older Asari's back to Achillia.

Shepard moved back out to the corridor and began checking on the progress of the other teams. They had found all the female members of the delegation. All had been or were in the process of being assaulted and all had been physically beaten.

"I want you to take them all back to the shuttle and get them up to the Normandy," Shepard spoke to her commando squad leader Via'na.

"We could split the team Commander; send half the squad back to the shuttle? We could carry on looking for the rest of the delegation immediately?" Via'na was right, so long as they didn't run into any trouble half the commando squad was more than enough as an escort.

But Shepard could see the hostages were all in varying states of injury and some would need to be helped. She also wanted to make them feel as safe as she could until she got them off the planet to a place of safety.

"I know but I'm not taking any chances. I'm going to call up a small squad to join me until you get back," Shepard returned to the room where the Ambassador was now dressed and standing on shaky legs.

"Ambassador Irissa I am Spectre Shepard and we are going to get you up to the safety of my ship, you'll have a commando escort," Shepard could see the extent of the damage to the older woman's face now she was standing.

"My… daughter… the others Commander where…" Irissa was having difficulty forming the words it was possible her jaw was broken along with her nose and cheekbone if Shepard wasn't mistaken.

Shepard looked across at Achillia to see if she understood the question about the Ambassadors daughter.

"The Ambassador had her daughter with her on the visit Commander she is one of the…" before Achillia could finish what she was saying a young Asari maiden rushed into the room and ran to the Ambassador.

The older woman wrapped the younger in her arms and held her and looking towards Shepard said, "Thank… you… Commander."

"Right let's get you all out of here, quiet please the area is not secure," Shepard signalled for the group to head out.

As she headed to the entrance with them Shepard called up Garrus on her suit comms.

"Garrus I need you and Grunt to join me asap, I'll wait by the entrance. We've found most of the diplomats and they're coming out with the commandos."

"On our way Shepard."

The next call she put in was to the Normandy med bay.

"Doc, you have incoming. They have all been physically and sexually assaulted, and would you put the Ambassador and her daughter in my cabin please." Shepard could hear the disgust in Karin Chakwas's voice when she responded.

"Dear God, those bastards… I'll make the necessary preparations."

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Shepard saw Garrus and Grunt moving towards her through the dark. She had cleared the top floor of the building while she was waiting and hadn't found any more Batarians. It was all working space which included the base's comms centre.

'_They must feel real comfortable here not to both having anyone monitor their security systems,'_ Shepard thought as she and nodded to her two team mates to follow her.

The priority was to find the remainder of the Council diplomatic team. They had rescued five including the Ambassador, all Asari apart from one young Salarian.

That left the three male members of the group. Shepard wondered if they would find them alive given the punishment their female counterparts had already endured.

Moving stealthily they worked their way along corridors and down stairs to get to the most likely location for holding slaves and hostages.

Entering a corridor that looked as if it had been hacked out of the rock they hugged the walls as they heard voices up ahead, coming from a room that spilled light into the corridor.

Shepard inched towards the door entrance and listened trying to make out how many guards may be inside.

She could see at the end of the corridor a cavernous area and just the edges of cages set around the edges of the walls and free standing in rows.

Shepard held up four fingers to Garrus and Grunt and indicated that on her mark they move to either side of the doorway and take out whoever is inside the room with silenced shots.

She would move into the centre of the doorway and kneel giving Grunt and Garrus clear shots into the room.

They moved as one and within five seconds all four Batarians were hit, two dead, with the two wounded guards receiving a final kill shot each which was delivered within another next five seconds.

"Grunt stay here and keep watch… anyone comes give me a flash on my OT and let whoever it is come to you then take them out," Shepard received a nod from Grunt who took up position just inside the doorway looking up the corridor using a mirror.

Shepard and Garrus moved into the main area and found what they were looking for immediately.

Almost all the cages were full of men and women mainly Human with a few Turian's and surprisingly to Shepard a number of Batarian's.

But just inside the entrance in one cell were the Council diplomats. She hacked the lock on the cage and entered.

The Salarian was dead, his flesh hanging away from his bones in places from what looked like a vicious whipping and in other places what could be acid burns.

The Volus was also dead his suit had been stripped off him and she could only image how painful it had been for him to die once removed from his atmospheric protection.

But in the corner the Turian stirred, she moved to him and spoke quietly.

"We're here to get you out, can you walk?" She met his eyes and could see he still had strength and, usefully, anger.

"Yes… just about," his voice was croaky and sounded painful. Shepard handed him some water and walked back to Garrus who was still standing at the door to the cage.

"How are we going to get all these out Shepard, we're going to wake up the nest at some point," Garrus said and Shepard agreed with him.

"We're not…" Garrus looked aghast at her but she continued quickly, "we're going to set up a defence position defending the captives.

We'll wait until our Commandos have re-joined us and then call in the strike from the rest of the force… oh yeah and hope to fuck Kas managed to hack their systems enough to block any attempt and blowing the implants up."

As she finished speaking Shepard called up her commando squad leader and gave them their orders, then she spoke to Tash who was leading the main strike force.

Shepard, Garrus and Grunt then moved back up the stairs to the next level. That was where they would set up their defensive position as it was the only access in or out of the cell area.

Once the Asari commando's had joined them and they were all in position Shepard called in the attack and precisely two minutes after that all hell and confusion broke loose for the Batarians in the base.

The main strike force worked ruthlessly, clinically and quickly through the upper levels and after only fifteen minutes Shepard and her team were facing a group of Batarians who were trying to get out of the kill zones.

Shepard's team dealt with them quickly, she wasn't sure they even saw it coming.

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It took three hours to clear the main complex. At the space port the C-Sec team set of explosives destroying the ships on the ground. The team also dealt lethally with around fifty or so slavers who tried to make a run for a shuttle.

When all the fighting died down Shepard got the now freed slaves out to the C-Sec shuttles where they would be ferried up to the C-Sec ships to be taken back to the Citadel for help and eventual repatriation.

She sent the Turian diplomat up to the Normandy and then set about organising the destruction of the facility.

Three hours later she boarded the Normandy's shuttle with the last remaining members of her team and headed out. Once outside the blast zone she gave the order to blow the target.

With a satisfied smile she watched the flash of light, billowing smoke and dust, followed by the merest whisper of a noise that sounded like thunder and a small rocking of the shuttle.

She was always happy to put murdering, rapist slavers under the ground, dead or alive.

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Shepard had only just disembarked the shuttle in the Normandy bay when the ships alarms flashed red and Miranda's voice echoed around the large open space across the ship wide comms.

"New incoming threat, remain at your battle stations, def con alpha, remain at your battle stations," then Miranda spoke to Shepard through her suit comms.

"Commander we have three Batarian vessels just on the edge of the system, one is a cruiser class. They will pick up our ship signatures up within four minutes."

"Enter stealth mode immediately… get the other two Captains on the line now," as Shepard spoke she was running for the elevator and heading to the CIC.

In the elevator she heard both Captains call in to the connection.

"Can you get to the other side of the planet and away or hide behind the nearest mood?" she asked trying to decide whether to stand and fight or make a run for it because of the rescued hostages they all had on board.

The Captains came back in the negative, they were to open and they couldn't outrun the cruiser.

"Right well the Normandy is in stealth and I'm pretty sure we can stay out of sight so we can jump them and draw their fire. I want you to run for it and jump to FTL as soon as you can."

The problem was that from a standing start they would all need to get up to pre jump FTL speeds which would give the cruiser and whatever the other two ships were enough time to range in and fire on them.

Shepard was confident the Normandy would be able to outrun and jump without any real problems but she wouldn't leave the other two ships vulnerable.

She kept running until she got to the cockpit and jumped into the co-pilot seat.

"Joker get us out of sight I want to come at that cruiser from behind something," she said smiling across at her pilot.

"How bout that great huge lump of rock I'm already heading for," he nodded to the closest mood while his fingers were already working fast across his haptic interfaces and at the same time giving directions to Edi.

"Can we make it?" she asked the cruiser and its escort was now aware of the presence of two Citadel ships who were trying to get away as fast as possible from the cruisers incoming trajectory.

"Tight Commander… will be… tight," he said as he worked and Shepard saw the Normandy gain ground on the looming, rocky face of the moon that now began to fill the cockpit windows.

They would pass around it with the cruiser on the other side then exit the cover of the moon, hopefully, behind the Batarian ships.

"The cruiser is the only threat Commander the two other Batarian ships appear to be transports," Miranda relayed the information from the CIC.

"Good to know but that cruiser is a big enough threat on its own," Shepard watched pensively as they rounded the edge of the moon and saw the cruiser come into view.

It was bearing down on the two C-Sec light frigates that were moving away as fast as they could but were now seriously in danger.

"Acquire the target and fire all batteries at the earliest available opportunity," Shepard's words were directed at Edi who had full control of the Normandy weapons systems.

"Yes Shepard," Edi's ever calm voice replied and almost immediately Shepard felt the Normandy shudder from the firing of its main canons and she saw the flashes as the ordinance hit the Batarian cruisers shields.

"That got their attention Commander the cruiser is adjusting its course and coming for us," Miranda's said through the ship's comms.

"Evasive manoeuvres," Shepard watched the cruiser firing on the retreating C-Sec ships and noted a hail of hits take down the shields on one of them.

"Change course and head straight for the cruiser," Shepard said quickly to Joker. She needed to get all the cruisers attention completely as another barrage on the frigate cold prove fatal.

It worked and the cruiser seemed to be wrong footed by the move, all attention now on the Normandy and avoiding what looked like a ramming run.

Shepard saw the two C-Sec frigates jump to FTL and immediately said, "ok back to full evasive manoeuvres but Edi let's take this thing down."

Normally a single frigate would be no match for a cruiser but the Normandy was no ordinary frigate after all her upgrades. Shepard welcomed the opportunity to test the strength and firepower of her ship against, at least on paper, a superior enemy.

She needed to know the absolute limits of the Normandy's capabilities for the trip through the Omega 4 relay.

The cruiser bombarded the Normandy and even with the evasive patterns that Joker was throwing a number of hits landed successfully. But the Normandy's shielding and weaponry was now beyond anything that a standard cruiser could either breach or withstand.

Once the Batarians shields were down it took only one slicing hit across the middle of the ship from the Normandy's main gun for the cruiser to break in half in an explosion of plasma, eezo, atmosphere and wreckage.

"Hold position," Shepard said and she sat back in the chair putting one foot on the console in front of her and watched as the Batarian slavers cruiser spewed death into the unforgiving vacuum of space.

"Well done everyone," she said after a few minutes then to Joker she continued, "lay in a course for the Citadel Joker all speed you can muster."

"Aye, aye Commander," he said smiling up at her.

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The journey to the Citadel would take around thirty six hours and Shepard left the cockpit to seek out Doctor Chakwas to find out how their rescued hostages were doing.

"Commander I take it you have wiped that despicable place from the map?" Karin Chakwas was a strange mix of a very proper and well to do woman of a certain status and knock around navy officer who had seen plenty of action and could out swear many a marine.

"Indeed we did, and knocked one of their cruisers inside out as a parting gift," Shepard smiled and sat down opposite the doctor. "So how are our guests?"

"The young Salarian woman, D'luk, is very seriously injured. She's in one of the medi beds at the end of the bay. She'll be transferred to the Salarian hospital on the Citadel as soon as we arrive; I've already briefed the doctors there.

I would have preferred to have the Ambassador in a medi bed but she insisted on being treated in your cabin and remaining there. I think it's mainly to stay close to her daughter," as Karin spoke her last words a look of absolute agony passed over her face and she said quietly, "I can't image how terrible it must have been for her, knowing what was happening to her daughter…"

"It says something about what I expect from situations that I wasn't surprised or shocked with what had happened, I've seen so much cruelty and so much pain inflicted by members of supposedly advanced civilised races of sentient beings on one another that… I don't know… maybe it's a defence mechanism, but it washes over me."

Shepard could still feel compassion for the victims she saw but she moved quickly to the feelings she truly owned and occupied which were of rage and anger and a thirst for vengeance towards those who had carried out whatever atrocity that she had to try to stop or clear up.

"I suspect you have to keep it all at arm's length Shepard or it would stop you doing what we need you to do… taking action against those murderous bastards," Karin gave Shepard a small smile, "you do us proud Commander never doubt it."

Shepard looked down the room the medi bed containing the young Salarian.

"I don't know about that Doc. If I'd taken the decision to push straight on rather than wait for C-Sec back up… or we'd spent a bit more time scanning for activity maybe we'd have picked up the shuttle…" she looked at Chakwas who was about to speak but Shepard pressed on, "this wasn't my finest hour Doc, a lot of damage happened in the days we spent pulling more support together… it was too high a price for my taste."

Shepard stood up and smiled down at the Doctor who was giving her commanding officer a concerned look.

"You have very high expectations on yourself Commander and that's commendable, but you can't save everyone," Karin knew her words would fall on deaf ears but she had to say them.

Shepard was an exceptional soldier and a decent human being but there was an almost unquenchable desire to save those who need protection and deliver a brutal form of justice to those in her way. Chakwas worried that without some balance Shepard was in danger of falling into a black hole of self-doubt and self-questioning when the Commander fell short of her own expectations.

"Well right now I need to get out of this armour and find some food. I've asked Miranda to arrange a small gathering in the port lounge for our guests in the morning. I suspect they won't feel like much but I don't want them to feel they have to hide away; they've done nothing to be ashamed of. Would you join us?"

"Yes of course Commander," Karin saw again the woman's insight and empathy. With everything else Shepard had on her mind she still had time to think about the well-being of the kidnap and torture victims.

Shepard headed for the crew quarters on the mess deck and picked up a clean set of Normandy battle dress, dumped her armour besides one of the few spare bunks and headed for the crew showers.

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Shepard had made her report to Councillor Tevos in written form directly after the mission. She would meet with Tevos on their arrival back at the Citadel briefly to answer any questions but Shepard was determined to complete all her duties and head for Thessia as quickly as possible.

It was only a few days from the Galactic New Year holiday season and she had already made it clear that the Normandy and its crew would take a short but reasonable break from duties.

The journey back to the Citadel was uneventful. The reception for their diplomatic guests went well. The crew members who attended were drawn from all areas of the Normandy crew, including some members of the ground team.

In the relaxed and supportive atmosphere she noticed that although subdued their guests seemed to gain comfort and strength from the attempt at normality.

They docked the Normandy in one of the Council's private and very secure docking bays and Councillor Tevos was dockside to meet them. And they agreed that they would meet to talk about the mission and its fall out after the New Year holiday, much to Shepard's relief and surprise.

Shepard had the strong impression that Tevos's attention and concern was firmly on Ambassador Irrisa and her daughter.

'_There's something between them I'd put money on it,_' Shepard thought having one of her now familiar but inexplicable strong senses of what another was feeling.

They had brought back the bodies of the two dead diplomats to be returned to their governments for full funerals and the coffins were unloaded at the same time. As Shepard watched them being carried past they were another painful reminder of the cost of her decision to delay.

Shepard had one final decision to make. What to do with her Batarian prisoner Boorlan Pazness. Once she had discharged her duties on the dock she headed to the makeshift brig to speak with him.

Tash had made a plea to let him stay with them or at least just cut him loose on the Citadel. Once again Shepard was slightly surprised by her cousin's knowledge and attitude towards Batarians, but then she had spent the last ten years in the Terminus System and as such will have spent a lot of time with Batarians of all sorts.

"So just how many of your relatives have I just killed?" Shepard decided to test bluntly the young Batarians attitude towards what had happened.

"I… well… two brothers CCommander… but please don't think I hold any ill feeling. To be honest with you… well my brothers had plans for me that I perhaps would not choose for myself." She sensed he was genuine.

"So do you want me to send you back to Batarian space, to your family?"

He jumped to his feet a look of absolute horror on his face, "please no Commander anything but that… I would rather spend time in prison and then be released… please understand the only way to be authorised to leave Batarian space was to work with my brothers… don't send me back," he grew more distraught the more he spoke.

"Ok, Ok… calm yourself. You helped a lot and so far you haven't lied to me or tried to cross me… I'll give you a choice. Stay on the Normandy and we'll find you some work to do or I'll drop you off here at the Citadel and you can do what you want."

She had no real idea why she was offering him a place on her crew but something told her that her blind spot towards Batarians could prove dangerous and his reaction to being send back to Batarian space had shocked her a little. She wanted to know more and as such it would be helpful to have him around when she got back from leave.

"Really…" his face brightened on hearing her offer, "you would let me serve on your crew… I would like that very much… I…" and now he looked embarrassed and suddenly very young, "I wanted to find adventure and… this… well…" she saw a boy looking at her, he could have been human.

"Ok well, I'll make arrangements with one of the officers to sort things out and we'll find you a job when I'm back from leave," she turned to go but continued, "obviously your free to leave here," she gestured to his cage.

"Thank you Commander I will not let you down," he said and turned to pick up the data pads from the bed.

"Good, just out of interest what's on the data pads?" her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Blasto the Jellyfish... you know, the Hanar Spectre?" he replied "All such entertainment is banned on Khar'shan but there is a black market for such things."

She gave him a smile, shook her head slightly and headed for the elevator.

'_Why should you be even the slightest bit surprised Shepard, you know better than anyone nothing is black and white… everyone and everything… shades of grey… your Batarian monsters may all once have been adventure seeking boys who read Blasto comics'_.

Shepard's thoughts turned to her own son and she suddenly felt a pang of guilt that she wasn't heading straight for Illium to see him. But she had to go to Liara; she need to be with Liara so badly, it felt as if she couldn't breathe properly.

A part of her was missing, still dead; she had to know if they could truly be together as Shepard needed. She missed Liara's spirit, he touch, her company, her insights, knowledge…

'_Yeah and the list goes on… all the things I miss… all that she is to me… I love you Liara T'Soni heart and soul and I'm praying to the Goddess and any other super being that might be listening that you feel the same way and we can be together_.'

With that thought banging around in her mind Shepard headed to her cabin to pick up her bag and then to the shuttle bay.

She would be travelling back to Thessia with the commando squad, Garrus and Kas where they had decided to spend their leave.

As Malania expertly steered the shuttle out towards the relay Shepard sat in the co-pilot seat all her thoughts focussed on what she would find waiting for her as she stepped off the shuttle on the lush green lawn in front of the T'Soni mansion and was united with the women who was waiting for her.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

A/N Hurrah she's back! Finally in this chapter we see lovers reunited and so expect sexiness and quite a bit of smoochiness.

T'Soni Estate - Thessia

Liara leaned against the open doorway that gave access to her bedroom balcony. She could feel the light muslin curtains brushing against her bare back as they rippled almost imperceptibly in the soft, warm breeze.

Raising her eyes to the solid blue sky she picked out the small outline of a shuttle and felt a catch in her chest. She checked her long, traditional figure hugging dress, the colour agonised over for so long Matriarch T'Joan had been required to make the final decision.

Liara watched the small dot in the clear, endless blue sky grow larger, she knew it was Shepard's shuttle and the thought was accompanied with another catch of breath.

She moved from her vantage point and made her way out of her bedroom and across the hall to her private sitting room which faced the front gardens where the shuttle would put down.

Along with guest quarters on the first floor Liara had her own private suite of rooms, bedroom, study and sitting room. Her mother's study, which she used for all her work and meetings, was situated on the top floor along with what had been her mother's private quarters.

Once in the sitting room Liara replicated her position, leaning on the edge of the balcony doors, giving her a clear view of where Shepard would emerge from the shuttle.

_'Goddess I have missed her... her smile... strength... her love_,' Liara's thoughts brought tears to her eyes and her feeling of grief was physical, _'enough of that, she will be with me soon... she is here'_ the thought comforted Liara and she settled her eyes on the shuttle which was now touching down on the well-kept lawns.

The shuttle doors opened before it had properly settled on the ground and a tall, broad shouldered, muscular figure jumped the final couple of feet onto the ground. Shepard was dressed in black fatigues, a baseball cap pulled low over her eyes, with a hand cannon strapped to her hip.

'Shepard,' Liara gasped and felt her heart thump with expectation, she watched the familiar figure begin to walk quickly towards the house, long easy strides.

Liara was overwhelmed with a need to get to her love as quickly as possible and all thoughts of reserve and decorum were thrown to the wind as she began to run, leaving the sitting room, down the stairs and out of the front door.

Liara stood for a moment as she face Shepard across the remaining few hundred yards, Shepard lifted her head and as she found Liara's face gave a smile that lit Liara from inside out… the force of a thousand suns burned as a unique mix of emotions and beliefs coalescing into one thought, a single feeling… bonded love…they felt it echo between and within them.

Like some clichéd old Earth film they both began to move quickly towards each other and collided into each other's arms, holding each other as if their lives depended on it, kissing deeply, pulling apart to take in the beauty of the others face and kissing again.

After what seemed like an eternity or moments they parted and began walking towards the house Shepard wrapping her arm around Liara's shoulders whilst her Asari snaked her arm around the Humans waist.

Shepard took Liara's other hand into hers, raised it to her lips and kissed then gently stroked the long blue fingers.

"Shepard we need to talk," Liara said quietly and turned slightly to look into her lovers face.

Shepard looked at Liara with exaggerated, mock surprise and with a huge smile answered, "Dammit T'Soni and here was me thinking we were just going to find the nearest bed and rip each other's clothes off." Shepard followed up her comment with a kiss to Liara's forehead.

"Oh I can assure you that is exactly my intention," Liara spoke with a laugh in her voice that made Shepard's spirits soar, this was her Liara, she was here, she was back.

"Then let's get the talking done out here, what's on your mind darling?" Shepard stopped, turned to face Liara and held both her hands and waited for her Asari to speak.

Liara looked into Shepard's face, most of which was in the shadow of her cap, but she could see the gentle, loving look in the flashing green eyes and began quietly, "

"Shepard the… process that I have been through… the shock of feeling your… your leaving me… has had a permanent effect on me… well many probably… we will only find out… anyway," Shepard smiled as Liara's last couple of sentences reminded her of the way Liara had gotten flustered the first few times they had talked, she noticed Liara had stopped talking and was looking slightly puzzled.

"Sorry babe I just had the strongest memory of when we first used to talk and you'd get a little… not important, what is important is what you're going to tell me now," Shepard's expression returned to serious attention.

"Shepard I have entered my matron phase of life and in doing so I have been able to consider options that would not have been possible if this had not happened, do not worry my love the entering of matron stage early does not shorten life nor have any other damaging effects," Liara spoke quickly as Shepard's expression turned to fear and concern.

"How do you feel about it Liara, I mean this is really early isn't it?" Shepard's tone was gentle and full of concern but the fear had left her eyes.

"Well, I didn't really embrace all that it is to be a maiden… how you would describe it perhaps as 'footloose and fancy free'. Everyone thought I was too serious so I don't believe it will be such an adjustment… after all it is only physiology.

Shepard we both know that we face an impossible task, that the Galaxy will sooner or later come under devastating attack and threatened annihilation, that both our lives will be constantly at risk as we will both," Liara emphasised the last word and held Shepard's stare then continued, "be at the vanguard of fighting the Reapers.

But I am no prepared to miss the opportunity to have a life with you Shepard, however difficult, however selfish that sounds, I want my time with you now. If it is true we have been here before, I have no memory, for me this is the only time we have.

I want us to become bonded now and start our family and along with everyone else in the Galaxy. I need us to live our lives as if we will survive, triumph, whatever that may mean in reality.

As I was not willing to let you go when everyone else believed you dead I am not willing to lose what may be the few precious months, year or decades of our life together." Liara reached her hands up to Shepard's face and cupped her cheeks then kissed her gently on the lips.

"It is a lot to consider my love and I do not expect you to answer now but please understand why it was so important that I tell you how I feel," Liara smiled a little wanly and tried to sense what her Human was feeling.

When Shepard spoke her voice was quiet but strong and Liara could hear the passion behind her words, could feel the emotion emanating from Shepard tingled slightly across Liara's skin.

"Liara you've seen what's coming, I've shared the visions from the beacon with you, the death, destruction, no hiding place, the Protheans as powerful as they were, a single power in the Galaxy and still they couldn't stop them.

But they did buy us time, add to our knowledge of the Reapers and we have a head start, what good it will do us I don't know. But I will not let them destroy another Galaxy. I will not fail again, whatever it takes… whatever it costs." Shepard looked away for a moment to the horizon and then back to Liara her entire being now heavy with sadness, grief and sorrow.

"I somehow know I failed before, I know I have the blood of many Galaxy's on my hands because of my failure and somewhere deep within me I am so tired of this… this fight… it feels old, I feel incredibly old when I reach into that place inside me," Shepard looked back at Liara and smiled at the beautiful, strong, loving being in front of her.

"But know this Liara as convinced as I am that my, our, destiny is to fight and defeat the Reapers we also deserve some peace, love… happiness… and I also know that love is a way more powerful force in the universe than hate… and the more love we can bring into it then the stronger we'll be.

So no, I don't need to think about it my answer. It's yes… yes and a thousand times yes... you are my luck, my destiny, my every breath… and I trust you completely.

I can't defeat the Reapers without you I know that as surely as I know I'll never be truly who I'm meant to be without you," Liara drew Shepard back into her arms and held her tightly stoking the side of her love's cheek.

It was done, they had chosen their path, how they would walk it, and who with.

"I need you Shepard," Liara's voice was soft and a little husky and Shepard not only heard the desire but also felt it as a wave of longing and lust flashed through her mind and body flowing from Liara but also created within her.

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By the time they passed through the bedroom door and it closed behind them their breathing was ragged, Liara's biotics were shimmering across her body, her eyes already deep, deep black. Shepard was stripping Liara of her clothes as quickly as she could whilst kissing lips, neck, shoulders and across the elegant collar bone.

Liara was ripping Shepard's clothes from her and leading them both to the large bed. They fell onto the bed naked and completely consumed by their desire, lust… passion for each other… completely oblivious to anything other than each other.

Shepard felt her entire body alive with pleasure, a double layer mirroring Liara's sensations, then no distinction… she could no longer even sense where her body ended and Liara's began… one.. more than one.

Their bodies coated in the sweat of their furious, desperate, hard love making, moved in rhythm. Changing positions as one climax faded and another began to build, the afternoon light faded into evening, but the two lovers noticed nothing except each other.

Shepard moved again on top of Liara, between legs bent at the knee and pulled back making herself as open as she could to Shepard who reached a hand down to the heat between already wet blue thighs… plunging fingers deep into the open, burning, needing space and began to move inside the Asari.

Shepard could feel the patchwork of small ridges inside her lover and as she moved in a steady but increasing tempo deep in and then almost out of that warm, wet space she also stroked her fingers inside, finding the most sensitive and aroused areas, feeling Liara's response echo in her own body.

Liara moaned and moved against Shepard's hand, at the same time pulling them together so they could kiss, hard lustful, breathless kisses on lips, face, neck… and all the time the waves of pleasure and expectation building in both bodies.

Liara knew this time when they came together, this time they exploded in orgasm… this time she would become pregnant and as soon as Liara became aware of that thought, that knowledge so did Shepard.

Shepard thought her heart would explode, her head would explode, she needed release, she needed to fuck Liara until neither of them could take any more… the drive was primeval, she had never felt it so keenly before even with Liara.

The room was lit with the blue shimmer of biotics as they licked across their skin, holding them both inside an envelope of pure energy. As their love making intensified towards their climax the field shifted colour range and intensity flashing to encompass all the colours in the spectrum… a rainbow of pure energy danced around them… a physical manifestation of their connection, their passion…

"Oh yes…. Shepard… do not stop… mmm… aahh..."

"Fuck yeah… oh… yeah… fuck… now… with me…"

"Yes… Goddess… yes… now…"

As their voices merged into one, their cries and moans echoed around the room and drifted out the open balcony doors.

Shepard tried to steady her breath as she continued to lay between Liara's thighs, her fingers still inside her lover. She lifted her face from where it had dropped into the pillow and kissed Liara gently.

Then Shepard withdrew her fingers slowly causing them both to shudder slightly, a small murmur of pleasure marking the movement from the still breathless Asari. Shepard rolled onto her back and let out a long slow breath.

"Fuck Liara… that was…"

"Yes… that was…"

"How long have we been… I mean Liara it was still daytime when we came up here… you're amazing… I love you darling"

"I would spend every moment with you if it were possible Shepard; you fill my spirit with joy."

Both settled into an easy silence for a few minutes and then Liara turned onto her side and smiled down at her lover.

"Do you feel 'caught up' now Shepard," Liara recalled with amusement the conversation earlier when Shepard had said that they had a lot of catching up to do, specifically almost two years of sex Shepard had missed out on.

"Hell no T'Soni … we're gonna have to do this at least three times a day for the next year before I'm gonna feel anywhere near caught up," Shepard spoke the words accompanied by a full throated laugh.

"Well… perhaps I can help just a little more… to… make you… feel… less… hard… done by…" As Liara spoke she moved to lie between Shepard's thighs and began to trace kisses down her neck.

Then Liara drew a slender blue finger across strongly defined collar bones following the line with kisses and occasional licks of the tongue, on down, tracing a line between Shepard's small breasts, Liara stopping to lick and nip at one of the hard nipples.

Shepard felt her breath catch in her chest, a low groan of expectant desire escaping from her mouth and her breathing started to quicken as she felt her clit pulse with need, and harden and she pushed against Liara's waiting heat.

Liara pushed herself down the bed, down Shepard's body, trailing breasts with hard nipples down her lover's belly, following the trail with her tongue, expert blue fingers working on breasts and nipples.

As the blue breast reached Shepard's fully hardened clit Liara moved her shoulder so that her hard nipple stoked and cajoled the pulsing sensitive bud into further waves of sensation.

Shepard felt the warm weight of the breast and then the hard nipple flicking across her clit, all her sensations, were focussed on that small area of her body, but the pulses of pleasure, want, expectation reached to her very finger tips… her breath was now ragged, eyes tight shut, she felt for Liara's head and ran her fingers along the crests.

Liara heeded the gentle encouragement of Shepard's hands and moved so that her tongue could complete its journey, she thrust her tongue as deeply as she could into the burning, wet space, felt Shepard arch her back and heard the low growl from her lovers' throat.

Licking slowly but firmly she began long strokes with her tongue, starting inside Shepard and ending across her clit… they fell into a rhythm each feeling the sensual whips of pleasure and the desperate need building…building… faster and faster Liara stroked Shepard's heat with her tongue, her lips.

Then when they both felt they could stand no more Liara focussed all her efforts on the now pulsing clit… her mouth clamped around it… Shepard could feel Liara's teeth gently but firmly against her skin…

Liara sucked the clit into her mouth and flicked it quickly with her tongue… the effect was immediate… Shepard felt the rolls of pulsating release… pleasure… relief… her body shuddered… every nerve in her body answering the call of the explosion between her thighs.

Liara heard the moan build into a cry and then into full bodied laugher, and she smiled lifting her head and releasing the still hardened but spent bud of pleasure.

"No… enough… can't take anymore… I'm done…." Shepard continued to laugh as Liara crawled up her body and lay alongside her satisfied lover, leaving a blue thigh pressed against Shepard's very wet cunt.

"You have an exceptional mouth Liara… very… skilled," Shepard smiled and kissed her lover who was looking down at her with a satisfied smile.

"And we just added another wet patch," Shepard shifted a little with a mock show of disgust.

Liara laughed and said, "I will get us some dry bedding to lay on," she turned to look at the bedside table which was dimly lit by the lamp that stood upon it, "Goddess it's nearly two in the morning."

"Mmmm, no wonder I feel starved… shall we raid the kitchen?" Shepard smiled and as she spoke stroked Liara's breast with two of her fingers in an almost absent minded way.

"Oh what a good idea, I have never done this before; I have such fun with you Shepard."

"And here was me thinking I'd be marrying a dried up old matron," Shepard laughed as Liara gave her a playful mock cuff around the head.

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Seninnth T'Joan came back in from the garden and heard voices coming from the kitchen; she began to walk down the corridor but stopped and moved into the shadows as she recognised who the night time raiders were.

Liara and Shepard were standing staring into one of the large refrigerators Shepard with an arm across the top of the door and Liara leaning into her shoulder their heads close and they searched through the contents.

They looked so close, comfortable, happy… it caused Seninnth to smile, '_it is about time Liara, you deserve to be happy little wing… and we all know just how much your Commander loves you,_' Seninnth almost grumped at herself for being so sentimental but she shook it off.

There would be plenty to be serious about given what they were all facing and the two lovers in front of her did not have an easy road, there was every chance that one of both of them would die in the attempt to defeat the dark forces massing on the edge of the Galaxy.

She did not begrudge them any moment of carefree, quiet, normal time together.

'_You look as if you got the answer you wanted Liara I had better start making the arrangements in the morning,_' Seninnth thought back to the long conversations she had had with Liara only a few days before on the young Asari's return from the Temple.

T'Joan knew about the bonding and the decision about a child and, although not entirely without concern, in the end understood, approved and supported Liara's wishes.

Seninnth had yet to hear back from Liara's benefactor and Aria would certainly not entertain such sentimentality in her reaction, but the Matriarch was fairly certain the Pirate Queen would also understand what had driven Liara's choices.

'_And new life for the T'Soni line… what would you think Benezia… would you be proud of your daughter… I like to think so old friend_.'

With that final thought Seninnth watched the two carry their spoils to the large kitchen table, keeping their laughter quiet and their voices in a whisper, the Matriarch turned around and headed for her bedroom, in hope of finding some sleep, tomorrow would be a very busy day.

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Liara took a deep breath and let it out slowly with a quiet sigh. She felt complete contentment. Even though her eyes were still closed she could see the light and knew it was more than early morning.

Warmth, the warmth of another body, heated her skin from the top of her shoulder to the top of her thigh.

'_Shepard_,' it was a thought and a whisper said, with a mixture of joy and amazement, as Liara opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the sleeping figure.

Liara turned slowly, gently, so as not to wake Shepard. Leaning on her elbow she studied her lover who was fast asleep and who seemed to be enjoying a peaceful, restful sleep for once.

Shepard was lying sprawled on her stomach, with one arm actually hanging off the side of the bed. The light sheet that had once covered them both now merely cresting Shepard's thighs leaving her back open to Liara's inquisitive gaze.

They had talked briefly about Shepard having to replace all her tattoos and the addition of a couple of new ones, but the biggest change was to the dragon that had adorned her back.

The dragon's fire breathing head that snaked over her shoulder onto her collar bone remained. But now it was joined by another that echoed the first but on the opposite shoulder. This one was the head of a Phoenix the same mythical creature Shepard had taken for the Normandy's insignia.

Where once only the dragon's wings had spread across Shepard's back mirroring her shoulder blades, now only the wings on the left belonged to the scaly reptilian dragon whilst the right side of the creature had feathers that looked to be alive with fire.

Liara was impressed with the quality of the work. It shimmered with heat, the fire in and around the body of the Phoenix half of the creature seemed to dance. The scales of the dragon almost moved individually and the fire scorching Shepard's chest gave the impression it was surrounded by a heat haze.

Asari body art incorporated, as with most other things Asari, biotic energy allowing for extraordinary effects. But they were very painful to apply and so only a few people would have the size and level of detail of Shepard's mythical creature.

Liara's eyes wandered further down Shepard's back to the lines of script that ran across her lower back on both sides. Again Liara saw not only the original tattoos but two new ones.

Both were Asari and not surprisingly they followed the pattern of Shepard's other choices. One was from Asari mythology, about a mythical beast that had to be slain to save Thessia, and the other from the teachings of Siari.

Shepard had writing in various Earth languages, from different cultures or tribes. Sanskrit was the oldest, but they all had a similar theme. They were either philosophical or spiritual works, usually on the connectedness of all things; or from the tales of seemingly impossible quests or monster hunts.

Shepard had told her the stories of two of her choices one night on the Normandy and Liara had been fascinated by Beowulf and the Greek myth of Argonautica, so much so that she had started to read more Earth myths alongside the Earth history she had been researching.

When they had first become intimate Liara had been fascinated not only by the choices Shepard had made but also by the rich cultural history of Earth that they had been drawn from.

Earth culture, in particular its philosophy and literature, was often dismissed by the Asari and Liara had been as guilty as everyone else. After all, Humanity was very young, seemed rough around the edges and certainly not as 'civilised' as the great Asari culture.

Liara had the sudden urge to trace her fingers across the lines of text and see if she could remember them word for word. She resisted the temptation not wanting to wake Shepard from her sleep, not yet anyway.

Her mind slipped to the previous night and their final gentle, sleepy lovemaking after their trip to the kitchen. Liara could still feel Shepard inside her and the feeling gave her a rush or arousal, she was a little sore, but still wanted to be filled with her lover again.

Liara damned herself for her selfishness but couldn't resist leaning forwards and pressing her breasts against her lovers back, pushing her now wet and throbbing heat against Shepard's backside.

She kissed Shepard's neck as the other roused slightly and moaned a little letting out a long breath. Liara stroked her fingers down the side of Shepard's exposed breast and whispered, "I am sorry Shepard I could not resist touching you, I wanted to let you sleep… but," and Liara finished her words with another set of kisses this time across her lovers shoulders.

"Mmm never, ever, say sorry for waking me with your beautiful body and your very clever mouth… and I think we've had this conversation before T'Soni," Shepard smiled as she spoke took another deep contented breath and pushed back into her lovers body.

Liara laughed and moved away saying, "yes we have my love… now I am going to treat you to breakfast, well lunch, made by my own fair hands and served on our balcony."

Shepard rolled over and looked up at Liara who was now sitting up in bed and said "you don't need to do that darling I'll come down with you, besides didn't you just start something you'd rather finish?"

"Oh yes Shepard we will, what is the term… 'pick up where we left of'… but there are also some things that we need to talk about… about our bonding ceremony…" Liara's words trailed off. There was indeed a lot to talk about the ceremony most of which Liara was sure Shepard would have difficulty with.

"Whatever you want is fine by me babe, honestly, all I want is for us to be bonded, the rest is details," Shepard had a sudden realisation and reached out to lay a hand on Liara's belly.

"Liara we really did… you're… I'm… it wasn't, I mean it really happened," Shepard stammered her way to a full stop cursing the fact she hadn't thought through what she actually wanted to say before opening her mouth.

Liara reached out and cupped Shepard's face with her hands leaned down and kissed her and said with a laugh in her voice, "yes my love we are going to have a baby, I am pregnant."

Shepard felt total joy and was sure she was grinning like some kind of idiot, then another realisation hit her and she sat up in bed and looked seriously at Liara.

"Liara, I know we haven't had a chance to talk about… about my son… and I know it's all really odd… I mean how it happened… and… well however it all started… he is my son and I'm taking responsibility for him… and I know I didn't… haven't discussed that with you… but what with…" Liara put a finger up to Shepard's lips and waited for her to stop talking.

"No Shepard you are wrong, he is not your son," Liara noticed the look of pain pass across Shepard's face and so pressed on quickly, "no Shepard he is not your son he is our son. I fully intend to be his… oh dear… I hadn't thought about what I should be called… but no matter he is my son so we will work everything else out. And I want him to come and live with us now." Liara last words held the strength of a demand.

Shepard broke into another huge grin and reached forward drawing Liara into a hug and kissed her deeply. When they broke apart Shepard said grinning a little sheepishly, "Look if it's alright with you I think you should be mother to both, save the confusion, not sure what I'll end up getting called it'll work itself out."

The Shepard leaned in and kissed Liara gently on the lips and said tenderly, "Oh yeah… and I love you Liara T'Soni did I tell you that yet this morning, heart and soul… now did you say something about food?"

Liara laughed and slipped from the bed reaching for a dressing gown she turned back towards the bed and said, "I cannot think of anything I would rather be than mother to our two children Shepard, but do not think for one moment that you will not be just as much a mother to them both... I will not be long my love."

Liara leaned in and gave Shepard a kiss and headed for the kitchen. Much to Shepard's surprise she began to feel so relaxed, listening to the chorus of birds from the garden, the Thessian sun warming the room, that a peaceful sleep crept up and claimed her. Her thoughts as she drifted into sleep of the family she was starting and the joy they were bringing to her life.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N My profound apologies for the huge gap between the last chapter and this one. I have been ill and despite my best efforts I just couldn't get Shepard or Liara to talk to me; perhaps they knew I needed to rest. But I'm back now and I promise to return to regular postings.

Thank you for coming back to check and for sticking with me.

You know on reflection perhaps Shep and Lee were just happy to be left exactly where they were for a couple of months… knowing what they face…

Music flows through the landscape of this story as I'm writing and this piece has been very present during the 'reunion', particularly the piano version. . watch?v= BXQDel0cFsM (remove the spaces)

And yes this is already a love theme dedicated to two heroes of a sci fi saga. But BSG has already very heavily influenced Mass Effect… so why not enjoy its music also…

So, without further delay on with our story. More fluffiness for a while but things are stirring in the dark corners of the Galaxy and who knows how desperate the Shadow Broker may become now he knows Liara is not dying and has Shepard by her side once again.

Chapter 42

Liara finished placing their lunch ready on the balcony table then went back inside the bedroom and stood quietly next to the bed on which lay a still sleeping Shepard.

All the physical signs of Shepard's exhaustion and stress had not escaped Liara's eye. The dark shadows, gaunt cheeks, the tightness and stiffness of Shepard's demeanour. And, of course, the blazing scars on her face connected to her cybernetic implants.

To Liara's relief it seemed that Shepard was finding some peace as the previously angry red scarring had improved noticeably.

'_She looks so restful'_ Liara smiled to herself as she looked at her sleeping human.

Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed Liara ran her fingers through the short black hair as she leaned down kissing her lover on the forehead. She was rewarded with a small, contented moan and a flickering of eyes.

"Hello sleepy head," Liara smiled as Shepard opened her eyes and yawned slightly.

"Sleepy head? Is that any way to refer to a galactic hero a seasoned warrior," Shepard smiled as she spoke in a tone of mock indignation. She was rewarded with a laugh from her lover.

Liara stood up and said, "I had your bag brought up, I'll wait for you on the balcony as I am not sure I would be able to keep my hands from… straying if I were to stay and watch you dress." With another smile and slight tilt of her head Liara moved away and walked out onto the balcony.

Shepard joined her ten minutes later having taken a quick shower and slipping into a pair of sweats and a black vest.

"Lee this is a feast," Shepard said sitting down and eyeing the array of beautiful looking food.

Liara noted the use of the shortened version of her name and felt a warm rush of love and closeness spread through her. Shepard had only ever used it before when they were making love and Liara loved its familiarity. Asari didn't shorten names, in some circles it was even seen as disrespectful. However, humans seemed to do it all the time and it made Liara feel even more on the 'inside' of her lover's culture.

"Are you ok," Shepard asked Liara who had been sitting looking across with a small smile playing on her lips, "you seem a little far away?"

"Oh no darling I was merely caught by the beauty of this moment, here with you. For a while we are just two people who are in love and sharing food on a glorious spring day." Liara faltered and wondered if she had sounded foolish but before she could continue Shepard reached across and held her hands and said.

"Yes my beautiful, loving, strong woman, and a moment that we could so easily not have had," for a few moments they both thought of the terrible things that had happened that nearly ripped them apart… nearly left them both dead.

Shepard smiled and broke their reflection on the past and continued, "You deserve this, we deserve this, so let's take all the happiness and joy we can get… now I'm starving… where do I start?"

For twenty minutes they ate, discussing the food and its aesthetically pleasing presentation, the gardens and the weather.

Then when they had both eaten their fill Shepard asked, "This is great coffee I didn't think it was something that Asari had on the menu?"

"You are correct Shepard it is a little bitter for our tastes. But I know how much you love it so I had fresh beans shipped in from Earth; I have heard the beans grown on the colonies are not quite as good. And our chefs have been trying out several blends, this is the best so far, but they wondered if you would like to do a tasting later?" Liara noticed the slightly dumbfounded look on Shepard's face and tilted her head slightly to the left in familiar quizzical gesture.

"I… this is… no one has ever gone to this much trouble for me Liara. I'm, I don't know what to say, except thank you… though you didn't need to," Shepard faltered to a stop. She was genuinely touched by the thought and effort Liara had put into something as seemingly insignificant as a drink.

Liara gave her lover a huge smile and reached across to hold her hands, "nothing is too much trouble my love."

As Liara finished speaking her expression was now serious and a little troubled.

"Come on Liara spit it out, you've got something on your mind and it looks too painful to keep in for much longer," Shepard's voice was light and a small smile played around the edge of mouth.

"Well… oh… I do not know… where to start," Liara stuttered her words and Shepard gently cut across her.

"Why don't you just jump to the crunch then we can work out where the beginning is?" Shepard's voice was light and encouraging.

"Oh dear… Shepard I know you wanted to keep our… bonding low key… perhaps even just the two of us and a priestess…" again Shepard interrupted.

"Yes, mainly to continue to keep the Shadow Broker in the dark about your health until we're ready to take him down," Shepard smiled as Liara became even more flustered.

Liara pinched the bridge of her nose and when she spoke she sounded almost desperate.

"Oh by the Goddess I had almost forgotten about that… that makes this… Shepard you may not have realised but because of my position in the T'Soni family and our position in the Republic… oh I am not explaining this very well am I," Liara cast a desperate glace at Shepard who was sitting arms folded with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Just jump in Lee," Shepard said her voice steady and quiet a slightly strained look on her face.

Liara took a deep breath to steady herself and placed her hands on the table in front of her. She looked directly into Shepard's eyes and began to speak in a determined and steady voice.

"On my mother's death I became head of our branch of the T'Soni family which also meant I became the head of the most powerful and influential family in the Republic…and one of the one thousand.

Whilst I was still a maiden I had a… how would you describe it… ah a regent I believe has the closest meaning. High Priestess El'Estrene will step down from that role as on my bonding which, coupled with my pregnancy, I will be recognised as reaching my maturity." Liara paused trying once again to read Shepard's face and then pressed on.

"It is a powerful position… I… I would not have believed that I would want to take my mother's place… and of course I could step aside and let the next in line take my place" Liara's face was etched with concern and doubt as she spoke, "but Shepard I truly believe that the connection and influence that my position holds will be invaluable to the work we have to do… but I am also afraid I am being selfish in wanting to take my place as my mother's heir…" Liara looked down at her hands as Shepard stood up walked to the balcony and placed her hands on the railing.

Neither of them spoke and Shepard looked out across the less formal gardens at the rear of the large house, out across to the woods that she knew gave way to gentle grassy slopes leading down to the beach.

"So I guess this means a lot of dignitaries, press attention, the lifestyle vids will want to know who made your dress… that kind of thing?" Shepard asked without turning around.

"I am afraid so Shepard. If I do not extend an invitation to the great and the good of Asari society and particularly the families of our Republic I will be in danger of appearing to insult them… sometimes Asari social protocols are dreadfully proscriptive. One of the many reasons I never wanted to follow in my mother's path."

Liara looked across at her love and despite the serious nature of their discussion was still distracted by Shepherd's strong back and shoulders perfectly shown off by her black vest.

Shepard turned around, and to Liara's surprise, was wearing a weary grin.

"I kinda figured that would be the deal Lee, I just… well… I thought we could just do the quiet small ceremony first. But I've been completely aware of your personal situation, you position in Asari society, from before we even met."

Shepard was leaning back against the railings and as she spoke rubbed the back of her neck with her hand, such a familiar gesture Liara noticed, then continued.

"And I know about the responsibilities that would come your way if you choose to do your duty to your family, your Republic, to Thessia.

Even before I became a Spectre I had to study the social and democratic structures of all the races in the Galaxy. I know the Asari have a political system that is very democratic and egalitarian. A highly developed E Democracy with voting on lots of issues, but I also know the hidden power base lies with the chosen one hundred Matriarchs and the heads of the thousand first families."

As she was speaking Shepard began to use her hands to articulate her words and as Liara watched for a few seconds the memories of what those hands had been doing to her body and the pleasure they gave drifted into her mind. She pushed the thoughts, and the feelings they generated, down as she continued to listen to Shepard.

"That each of the twelve Republics have between eighty and ninety first families and your about to inherit the right to lead the most important family in the Republic of Thrassica; which includes a seat on the Asari Council. Did I miss anything?" Shepard asked now smiling and raising one eyebrow.

Liara sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest, looking directly at Shepard with a hint of relief and amusement on her face.

"I do not doubt your knowledge of Asari culture… I know you met with Priestess El'Estrene while I was… I was," as Liara was struggling to find her next words Shepard spoke.

"During your stay in the Temple Lee… when you were recovering from what I put you through," Shepard spoke softly and with her arms open indicated with her head for Liara to join her.

Liara got up from the table and folded herself into Shepard's arms, burying her face in her lover's neck.

"I would not make a decision of this importance, with the effects it will have on our… privacy… without discussing it with you my love. No decision has been made," Liara broke off drew back her head and looked into Shepard's face.

"But I suspect both Matriarch T'Joan and Priestess El'Estrene have already decided every tiny detail and are well advanced with the planning for our bonding ceremony," Liara said softly allowing her fingers to find the back of Shepard's neck running them up into the short hair.

Shepard smiled down at Liara a full smile that lit up her face and radiated through her eyes as she said, "I can only guess at just how excited and happy they both are. Once they got over the belief that you're too young and '_by the Goddess she's bonding with a human, such a short lived and aggressive race'_, that is," Shepard ended her words with a small chuckle as she pressed her lips gently to Liara's forehead.

"Answer me this darling," Shepard said in a more serious tone, "Do you want to take your place at the head of your family and all that entails for you only for the benefit it may gain in our preparation against the Reapers?

You'll have to get completely involved in all that the position demands, the politics the alliance building, all that social protocol stuff? I know how much you struggled against the path that your Mother had set out for you. Are you ready, do you really want to take it up willingly?"

Shepard leaned back against the railings feeling Liara's warm, soft and very sexy body pressing against her and couldn't resist the stirring of desire she felt.

Liara smiled and leant back slightly against her hands that were now grasped together behind Shepard's neck.

"The childish rebellion against all my Mother wanted for me is very far in the past now. I do not regret nor would I change my decision to find my own path I believe it helped to make me who I am, my own person.

And because of that I can choose to stand by your side while you lead us all in preparing for that which is to come. If part of what I can bring to this fight is the influence and resources that comes as heir to my Mother's position then that is something I must do, is it not?"

Liara looked searchingly into Shepard's eyes her mind was fully focussed on this important conversation. Yet at the same time she still felt the echo of Shepard's fingers inside her from their lovemaking and it sent a shiver of want through her body.

Liara continued before Shepard had a chance to respond to her question.

"I also have a strong sense that this is something I have to do… that I am meant to do… and I am willing to follow where this may lead me. But only if you are in agreement Shepard?"

Shepard brought her hand up and ran the back of her fingers down the side of her soon to be bondmates face. Enjoying the ripples of connection she felt, physical, emotional and in her very soul.

"Lady Liara T'Soni I love you heart and soul and I want to shout it to the entire Galaxy so it really doesn't bother me if the whole thing is vid cast in real time.

I also want you to walk your path to your own destiny," when Liara made to speak Shepard leaned in a little closer and gave a small nod and continued.

"Yes my darling our destiny is entwined and we'll see this through together but you are not a soldier," Liara scowled at Shepard and so she added quickly, "not only a soldier".

Shepard smiled down at her love and Liara answered with a smile of her own, "You're more than that, you're unique… invaluable to me and to our struggle… you have my full support for any decision you make."

As she finished speaking Liara moved closer and they kissed a loving, tender kiss. Liara's fingers playing with Shepard's hair while strong arms held her close.

"Mmm, we have a lot to do… but perhaps we…" Liara's eyes smoked with desire and Shepard felt a burning hot flash of lust and want course through her body.

"Yeah… perhaps we could… just for a few minutes," Shepard grinned and they both moved into the bedroom and towards the bed.

Soft snatches of laughter punctuated their searching, needing, kisses as they fell onto the bed and into each other under the warm gaze of the Thessian sun.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two hours and a shared shower later Shepard and Liara headed downstairs to find Garrus and Kasumi.

"Shepard! You finally dragged yourself out of bed," Garrus's voice was full of repressed amusement and his mandibles twitched in a way Shepard recognised only too well. If they had been on their own he would be teasing her relentlessly about her 'reunion' with Liara.

"She obviously needed the… rest, Garrus, can't you see how well she looks now… she is almost glowing," Kasumi's innuendo and teasing were as subtle as ever.

Shepard and Liara both looked a little embarrassed for a second but they couldn't deny that they were both looking and feeling better than either of them had since Shepard's return from the dead.

"Well now Kasumi something is going on with our illustrious leader, she looks like the varren that stole the orlicks feeding secretion," Garrus chuckled at the lack of understanding on the human's faces and added, "I believe the appropriate translation would be the cat that ate the cream."

Shepard and Kasumi laughed, Liara still looked nonplussed.

"I'll explain later Lee," Shepard said with a huge grin then continued, "Well let's cut to the chase shall we. Liara has consented to become my bondmate…" before Shepard could complete her news both Garrus and Kasumi rushed forward with congratulations.

Kasumi hugged first Liara then Shepard then Liara again and Garrus held Liara's shoulders and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

He turned to Shepard who leaned back a little and raised her eyebrows and he exploded in laughter, "no Shepard for you it's one of your handshakes and a slap on the back," they both laughed and ended up in a hug. While they were close together Garrus said quietly.

"So pleased she's back to her old self, I was so worried while you were gone," Shepard looked into Garrus's eyes and saw the happiness and also the echo of fear.

"I know… I had my doubts for a while. But you kept her safe Garrus you kept her safe for me… I'll never forget that, you will always be family to me."

Shepard saw the look of pride in her friends' eyes and they nodded to each other, the nod signifying as much as any words they could exchange, they were family to each other.

"There is another piece of news that we do not wish widely known at this time, but you are our friends. And you both helped me when I was at my lowest ebb," Liara spoke and all eyes turned to her.

"I am pregnant," Liara beamed with joy and happiness and the round of congratulations began again.

Shepard couldn't keep the huge grin off her face as Garrus slapped her on the back several more times with mutterings of 'you dirty varren'.

"So when will you be tying the knot and how long before the baby arrives?" It was Kasumi who asked but Garrus also nodded his head in support of her questions.

"The bonding ceremony will be as soon as we can get it all together, because Liara is a bit of a princess," Liara turned to Shepard and punched her playfully on the arm while smiling and shaking her head, "it has to be fairly formal and with a long guest list… the baby…" Shepard turned to Liara but it was Garrus who spoke.

"The baby should be with us in ten Galactic Standard periods, a full Galactic Cycle." As he spoke Shepard noticed his eyes held a distant and sad look but only for a second then it was gone.

"Ouch, that's around twelve Terran months… not sure who I feel sorrier for," Kasumi laughed as she spoke and gave Liara another hug.

As the laughter died down Shepard said.

"So I have some vid calls to make and Liara needs to give Matriarch T'Joan the good news so she can start sorting out the ceremony. And I'm going to need your help getting everyone moved from Illium." Garrus and Kasumi nodded their understanding and agreement.

Shepard then looked at each of them and said more seriously, "but we still need to be back on the Normandy in seven days which is a few days longer than the usual New Year break, but we can't take too much time out from our mission." Everyone nodded.

Despite their personal happiness Shepard and Liara knew that they were facing down two deadly enemies. They had no illusions about how dangerous and difficult the task facing them was.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara headed for her study and a meeting with Matriarch T'Joan to discuss the timing of the announcement of her bonding ceremony and to make arrangements for the new additions to the T'Soni household.

Shepard headed for the well-appointed communications and information room which was empty as per Kasumi's instructions to her team.

Sitting in front of the QEC terminal she thought about the order of the calls she needed to make. Her mother should be first but Garrus was already on his way to Illium to pick up Jamie, Veetor and her baby.

Shepard sent a coded message to Captain Shepard, as was usual, asking for her to call back at her earliest availability. While Shepard waited to see if her mother would be immediately available her mind wandered to what had happened during the past twenty four hours.

From not knowing if Liara was able or even wanted to pick up the threads of their relationship; she would be bonded and had a child on the way before the end of her leave. She felt so much joy and relief that the nagging doubts and anger at herself had remained only echo's.

But as she looked into the deeper parts of her mind they took shape and would not be denied. She knew she was putting Liara front and centre in the path of an oncoming apocalypse that they had little chance of stopping or avoiding, as things stood, and it made her sick to her stomach.

Why couldn't she have just made sure Liara was alright, healed, safe. Liara had already clocked up any number of attempts on her life because of Shepard. Yes, without doubt if she hadn't crossed the Shadow Broker over her body Liara would never have been in deadly danger.

'_why didn't I just put myself between Liara and the Shadow Broker, get Shiala back and let them be… maybe Shiala is exactly what Liara needs… she doesn't come with an impossible quest with death riding at her heels…_'

Shepard wondered for a moment if it wasn't too late to change things, back out of her commitment, go all out to take down the Shadow Broker and get Shiala back for Liara.

'_Like fuck I will… whatever it takes to keep her happy and safe I'll do it… even if I do come with death as a companion Liara is safer with me than without… and I won't hurt her again… I promised I'd never leave her and I won't…. stupid fucking idiot… as if you could actually leave her and your unborn daughter anyway.'_

Any further internal arguments were cut short by an incoming QEC call from her mother. With a squaring of her shoulders and a sense of relief she watched as the fragments of an image coalesced into a smiling Hannah Shepard.

"Darling is everything alright, you're meant to be on leave so I hope the urgent nature of this call is not work related?" Hannah's tone was light but there was an edge of authority that always made Shepard feel as if she might be in trouble.

Shepard returned her mother's smile with a wide grin and said with a level of excitement she didn't realise she had until she started talking.

"She said yes mum… we're going to be bonded…. big ceremony… Liara's position means, oh never mind that… um and we… well she… no we… oh we're going to have a daughter… I mean Liara's pregnant… and we both want you to come to the ceremony. And I know you're not supposed to be on good terms with me… but dammit this is my one and only marriage I mean bonding and I don't care right now if it causes questions about my cover… and please can we try to work something out?"

Although Shepard had stopped and started a few times it all came out at speed and without any real gaps.

'_Great Shepard very eloquent… way to go… just drop the bombshell sounding like a rattled teenager,_' she thought and realised she ought to try to gauge her mother's response.

"Darling that is wonderful, of course I'm coming. Is she really well, Liara," her mother's face showed her concern and worry, "I really thought we might lose her."

"Yes mum, she's back to her old self… well she's changed of course… we've all been changed by my…" Shepard trailed off once again memories of the two women standing at the memorial service in Vancouver. Devastated but showing such dignity.

"I'm so sorry mum, for causing you all that pain," Shepard said quietly.

Her mother's face showed a flash of the grief she had felt at the loss of her daughter but when she spoke her tone was light and encouraging.

"I know you are darling and I really would like you not to do it again. But you're here and Liara's well and you are going to be together. And I'm going to be a grandmother twice over which is more happiness than anyone is probably entitled to in one go," she ended with a smile that Shepard couldn't help reflecting.

"Could you bring something with you mum? It may take a bit of influence on your part," she watched as her mother nodded and continued, "I need my full marine dress blues and another set for Tash, do you think you can pull that off?"

Given that both Shepard and Tash were meant to be renegade ex-alliance officers the request wasn't as simple as it sounded.

Shepard saw her mother's face set with a hardened look barely disguising her anger and said in a firm tone, "of course I will it's the very least the alliance can do for you and for Tash given the sacrifices you've both made… and continue to make under alliance orders."

After a few more minutes' discussion about travel arrangements and other practicalities the call ended leaving Shepard with a warm glow. She had been so lucky in her life to have two parents who loved and supported her and she was damned sure she would always try her hardest to make her mother proud of her as a soldier and a human being.

The call to Illium was fairly short but no less full of congratulations from Jamie and Veetor. She assured Veetor they would move all his equipment carefully, and he would have the same set up on Thessia as he had in the apartment.

She assured Jamie that he was still very much needed and wanted as the baby's carer. And that Kasumi was often stationed on Thessia which brought a smile to the young man's face.

Her final call was to Omega and Tash.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tash was aware that the warmth and softness of her lover's body had moved and she felt the air on her bare back before drifting back to sleep. Only to be woken seconds later with the thump of Liselle jumping back into bed behind her. Followed by a gentle but firm push from her lovers' hands.

"It's for you… Shepard wants to talk to your urgently," as Tash moaned and positioned herself on the edge of the bed Liselle traced her fingers down the muscled back and continued, "I told her she couldn't have you for anything until the end of the holiday."

Tash stood up and walked slowly, still slightly drunk from both the drinking and the love making they had indulged in for most of the previous day and into the night.

"Your arse is mine Mikhailovich… and tell her to phone at a decent hour in future…" she shouted the last comments to a retreating Tash as she moved from the bedroom into the sitting room.

Once in front of the vid com she realised she didn't have any clothes on but gave up on dignity as even sitting up was an effort.

"Do you have any idea what time it is here?" she said quietly more to stop the words hurting her head than because she didn't want to disturb any attempt Liselle was making to get back to sleep.

"Sorry cuz I thought I'd worked out the time difference, I made it early morning your time…" before Shepard could continue Tash interrupted.

"Exactly... morning… I hate mornings," Tash said again quietly and with a pained expression.

Before the conversation went any further sideways Shepard decided to jump straight in so she could let Tash get back to sleep and said with a huge grin and in a light tone.

"I'm tying the knot with Liara in a few day's time and I want you to stand as my best… and we want you to bring Liselle… Liara really wants to meet her… now you can go back to whatever crazy Tash type thing you were doing but I want you on Thessia within thirty six hours… will you do it for me," the last few words were said with sincerity

"Thirty six hours… you want me to what" and then Shepard saw the sleep and the hangover sliding from Tash's face and her demeanour became alert and focussed

"You want me to stand best… you're getting bonded with Liara… gratz cuz… and you want me… are you sure about this... trusting me… ah I get to organise your, well your stag night out… do they have strippers on Thessia?" Tash was laughing and Shepard saw the young carefree woman she had known when they were growing up together.

Shepard also suddenly thought that Tash and Garrus might just be a deadly combination when it came to organising any kind of 'sending off' party they might want to throw.

"Um I don't know about strippers Tash, buy you'll do it…"

Tash looked serious as she spoke, "it's an honour Elvee and one I'm not sure I deserve but I'll be there for you. And I'll be at the estate as soon as I can get a ride… now I gotta go tell Liselle she's gonna be chief bridesmaid or something."

Tash cut the comm link before Shepard could respond and smiled to herself that her cousin would worry she was serious about her girlfriend being a bridesmaid. Did they even have those in a Thessian bonding ceremony?

She reached for a cigar and lit it up, letting the smoke run through her and then curl out from her mouth. Maybe things could be okay; maybe she could even get some of her old life back.

Before her mind could wander further Liselle's voice came to her from the bedroom.

"Now you've woken me up are you just going to sit in there playing with yourself or are you going to come in here and play with me," the voice was silky smooth and full of lust.

She got up and wandered back to the bedroom still smoking and leaned against the door frame looking across at the very, very beautiful and tempting sight of her naked Asari lover lying on her back on their bed.

"We have been invited to the wedding of the year baby… my cousin Commander Shepard Alliance Navy retired will be marrying Liara T'Soni sometime this week and you have front row seat."

Liselle sat up in bed looking a little more serious than a moment ago.

"Shepard and Liara are going to be bonded this week?" a strange look momentarily passed over her face that Tash hadn't seen before but Liselle continued quickly, "but I only get to go because you're going…"

Tash cut across her and said, "No apparently your presence has been requested by the blushing bride herself," Tash said in a questioning tone; as far as Tash knew the two Asari's had never met.

"She probably wants to know why I was hanging around giving her back up. When do we leave?" Liselle was already thinking about the conversation she would have with her mother in a few hours and wondered how Aria would feel.

"Oh we have time to… get some sleep," Tash put out her cigar and made her way to the bed smiling she continued, "I was having a lovely dream about pyjaks and some kind of yellow fruit."

Liselle pulled Tash on top of her and with eyes flashing to black said, "Oh no you can chase pyjaks later now you're going to finish what you started," and with a rush of desire they picked up where they had left of only hours before.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Twelve hours later in a dark, dingy office, in the backstreets of Illium Tela Vasir sat in front of a vid comm waiting for a call from the Shadow Broker.

It would be a voice call only, but she knew what he looked like, she had been to his base and she was probably about to get summoned there again when she gave him her news.

The comm in front bleeped into life and the distorted, rumbling tones of the Shadow Broker's voice filled the room.

"This had better be good Vasir you know how much I dislike direct communication."

"You will be the judge but I don't think you'll be disappointed. And as this will become common knowledge within a few days; I thought you may want to make arrangements as soon as possible." She paused a moment almost for effect. She was, after all, a Spectre not some common information broker.

"Well," was the only response she received.

"T'Soni and Shepard are going to have a bonding ceremony on Thessia. Apparently T'Soni was not as badly injured as we had been led to believe nor were the pair really estranged.

There is something else but I don't have confirmation, T'Soni may already be pregnant." She sat back pleased with herself. This information came from within T'Soni's trusted circle. It had taken a lot of work to get in that close but she was good at her job.

"You need to come to the base. We need to finish this for good; I don't want to wait for Shepard to try to find me. On your way stop at Omega and sort our problem with T'Loak. Use whatever methods you have to, but get her to back away from T'Soni… any method Vasir."

And with that the comm link was cut.

She didn't like taking orders from the Shadow Broker but he was extremely useful to her work as a Spectre and if she was honest with herself she was past the point of being able to say no to him.

As she stood up to leave she was already thinking about the assets she had in place on Omega in case she needed leverage against its Queen.


	43. Chapter 43

A/N Thank you all for returning to the story after the long 'pause'… more on the way… and this chapter does contain a little sexiness and some happy tears…

Shepard sat at a table at the back of the house and looked out across the informal gardens. The planting was carefully contrived to look natural but it was all too clear that aesthetic beauty and subtle order were the intentions of whoever planned and maintained the space.

The sunlight glinted on the surface of one of the pieces of sculpture that were placed carefully within the garden. At times prominently displayed like the intricately carved polished cream stone which referenced the Siari teachings. Others seemed to have been almost secreted; so that they were found either as a surprise or only revealed to the most observant.

Looking up at the brilliant, cloudless, blue sky Shepard took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She began to relax and realised just how much she loved this place. Perhaps because Liara was here but she was sure it was more than that. Something about being on Thessia, being here in the country, with the sea a short walk away met every need she ever had for being 'dirt side'.

Her mind reviewed the past twenty four hours as it had been around this time yesterday that she and Liara had told Garrus and Kasumi about their bonding and the baby.

Both Shepard and Liara had been really busy. Liara working with Matriarch T'Joan and the planning team, yes Liara had a team planning the ceremony, the thought brought a smile to her face.

The last time Shepard had seen Liara she was up to her eyes in what looked like seating plans and she was being talked at by pretty much everyone one of the six Asari in the room. She looked frustrated and not a little shell shocked.

Shepard was determined to keep out of it, if only to provide Liara with a planning free space for her to escape to. She knew Liara was more than capable of managing it all and would get the ceremony that would suit them best, given the circumstances. Liara just needed a little time to get her bearings and find her feet.

It really was as if Liara had been dropped 'in at the deep end' of her new position and place in Asari society, indeed her new life. A part of Shepard felt worried that all the pressure may cause some kind of relapse. But Shepard also knew that Matriarch T'Joan and Priestess El'Estrene were there to support and guide her soon to be bondmate.

They'd had dinner here on the stone patio that ran across the rear of the house. Shepard relived their stroll through the gardens, remembered the touch of Liara's hand in hers as they hunted down a delicate and alluring scent to its source.

Determined to stretch out their time together they walked on across the open lawns and through the trees until they came to the chalet that Liara had lived in when she first returned to the estate.

Shepard noticed the brush of grief and sadness that the memory of her stay there brought to her lover and she pulled Liara into her arms kissing her gently. Still holding Liara in her arms and Liara's hands on the side of her face Shepard remembered the words she spoke, "I'm here now darling and you'll never lose me again."

And she meant it; Shepard would never leave Liara again. No, they were a part of each other now; they would always be together in their souls. But Shepard knew she wouldn't be able to honestly promise that she would always come back, physically.

That promise, the very one she had made to Liara on the top of the ridge on their holiday, had been broken within weeks. Shepard hadn't come back, not under her own steam. Without Liara and Cerberus, or rather Miranda Lawson, Shepard would still be dead on the moon above Alchera.

Shepard could no longer hide behind the magic charm that all soldiers can use as an unconscious shield in dangerous and life threatening situations, without which most sane people would be paralysed with fear… 'It's not going to happen to me'… she thought she could cheat death, she had cheated death more than once… and then she didn't.

The thought of her own actual death caused a difficult, almost overpowering, reaction in her and it was one she didn't want to explore right now so she let her thoughts wander back to the previous evening.

Sitting on the grass her arm around her beautiful Asari, who had her head tucked into Shepard's neck, as they both watched the sun slip below the horizon. The water reflecting the fiery golden light of the slowly disappearing 'star', the pink and red hues spreading across sky's that were turning darker blue by the minute.

"I think this is my favourite view of a star," Shepard could almost feel Liara's forehead on her lips and she closed her eyes to better immerse herself in the memory, "and being with you makes it all the more special."

"I had not thought about that before Shepard, of course the time you have spent in space… your view on the galaxy is quite different from those of us who spend our time on the ground," Liara turned slightly and looked up into Shepard's face.

Sitting in the garden even the memory of Liara's closeness, her scent, her eyes full of love locked with her own, made Shepard catch her breath.

A touch of fingers on her cheek too real to be a memory broke Shepard from her reverie and she looked up into those very same eyes and at that very same Asari who had just been in her thoughts.

"Where were you my love," Liara said with a smile as she sat in Shepard's lap one hand playing with the back of her human's neck the other removing the baseball cap, "you were smiling."

Shepard reached up and pulled Liara into deep kiss full of longing and desire, "last night when we watched the sun set," another kiss fully returned as their tongues played and searched, "really wanted to…" Shepard's words cut short by more kisses.

"To fuck on the beach Shepard…" Liara said her voice husky and breathless between increasingly ardent and lustful kisses.

Shepard reached between Liara's thighs, the short, white cotton dress allowing her full access. Shepard's breath grew increasingly fast as she felt the wetness and heat.

"Yes," was all Liara could manage between the deep kisses and her own breathlessness.

As Shepard pushed her fingers inside her Asari's hot, wet space she pushed her tongue deep into Liara's mouth and held the kiss as she started pumping in and out drawing moans from both of them.

Liara hardly had time to initiate the meld before they came and Shepard felt her lovers' wetness explode past her fingers. Liara pressed hard against Shepard and whispered in her ear.

"More… I need more Shepard," as she spoke Liara moved carefully and was now astride Shepard's thighs and began to move against the fingers that were still inside her.

Slowly Shepard curled her fingers back and forth across the sensitive ridges inside her lover. At the same time she began to stoke the asari's clit with her thumb.

The reaction from Liara was instant and she arched backwards with a long moan of pleasure, her own hands pulling open her dress revealing her breasts their nipples hard.

Shepard cupped one of the breasts and brought it to her mouth first licking and then biting the nipple drawing louder cries from her lover.

A thought crossed Shepard's mind and in an instant Liara had responded by pulling her dress off completely,

Now naked and straddling Shepard's thighs her hands on her human lovers shoulders Liara began to grind herself against the fingers inside her and the thumb rubbing her clit.

Shepard looked up and, as Liara pumped up and down on her fingers, watched the full breasts bouncing a little in time with the asari's pleasure taking.

The view turned Shepard on even more and reaching a hand up she placed it lightly against one of the hardened nipples and let the movement rub it across her palm.

They both felt the climax building, both felt the echoes of the others pleasure, each of them deeply embedded within the other through the meld.

The movement of their bodies grew faster, Liara riding the hand inside her and Shepard thrusting her hips to push her fingers deep to meet her lover's need.

Their already short breath grew more ragged… the sounds of pleasure, desire and lust growing louder.

"Oh yeah Lee… now… come for me…"

"Mmm… yes… not stop… there… yes…."

As they reached their climax, together, the waves of release and raw pleasure ripped through their bodies.

Shepard felt Liara's wetness burst pass her fingers, into her hand and down onto her trousers. Shepard's own wetness spilling from her making her trousers doubly soaked.

Liara collapsed forward onto Shepard who held her with one arm and kissed her softly as the orgasm faded away. Still in the meld Shepard couldn't tell where the feeling had come from but she certainly agreed and smiling said out loud.

"Yes Lee I feel too… absolute bliss darling," Liara snuggled even closer into her lovers' neck and played slowly with Shepard's hair.

As they relaxed back into calmer bodies and their minds parted Shepard became aware that Liara was completely naked in the garden and that they had made just had very loud sex where anyone could have wandered past.

"Lee we're, well you're a bit exposed… I mean what if someone came out…" as she spoke Shepard began to look for the dress discarded in the midst of passion.

Liara laughed and sat back so she could look at Shepard, "Oh my love Asari are not so… um… embarrassed by sex or nudity… if anyone came across us they would have discreetly gone a different way."

She leaned in and kissed her slightly embarrassed looking human tenderly on the nose and then on the lips.

"Ah yeah… sorry Lee… humans still have quite a lot of hang ups… like those two in particular," she smiled and stroked the side of one of Liara's breasts with the back of her fingers.

"I'm gonna have to…" before Shepard could finish her sentence Liara reached down and held the hand that was pressed against her still very wet and hot centre.

"Yes I know… but I will feel empty until you fill me again," and as Shepard withdrew Liara gave her a hard lusting kiss thrusting her own tongue deep into her lovers mouth.

As they broke from the kiss they heard someone calling from inside the house.

"Lady Liara we have received word that your guests from Illium are due to arrive in an hour," having the delivered her message the member of staff withdrew, discreetly.

"We had better run and get ready… our son Shepard… our son is coming home," Liara had tears in her eyes as she spoke the words and Shepard gathered her into a tender hug.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Less than fifty minutes later Shepard and Liara were standing on the balcony of their bedroom watching the late afternoon Thessian sky. A few fluffy white clouds sailed serenely but they didn't impede the sun which was still pouring down from a translucent blue sky.

It was no shuttle they were waiting to get a glimpse of. It was the object of Shepard's hopes and plans for securing the future. She also thought it was beautiful, sleek and elegant. A deadly killer and she realised she loved it as much if not more than its original namesake. It was the Normandy that was bringing their son home.

"I had never understood how people could become emotionally attached to a… well a space vehicle," as she spoke Shepard had turned to look at Liara and at the words space vehicle she raised her eyebrows and, with a look of mock indignation, shook her head slowly.

"As I was saying Shepard," Liara continued smiling at her lover's show, "I had never understood, until I spent time on the Normandy. And I believe I have a better understanding now as to why 'she' is a rival for your affection."

"Liara T'Soni are you reading my mind," Shepard stood behind Liara and wrapped her arms around the slim waist and whispered, "Well you know, she did take down a Collector vessel, and travels faster than the speed of light. But other than that I'm all yours… oh and she is so sleek… ah but then so are you… hum we might have a tiebreak situation," Shepard kissed and nibbled Liara's neck as she spoke.

Liara laughed and held the arms around her waist with her own, "if I didn't know you better Commander you may have been sleeping downstairs tonight."

At that moment they both caught sight of a glint, a speck of silver in the sky. Watching in silence as it grew bigger, and then it was close enough to reveal the unmistakable shape of the SSV Normandy SR2 and it was heading low across the sky towards the house.

Shepard couldn't help a huge grin spread across her face and she only just resisted an impulse to shoot her hand in the air with a whoop as Joker swooped the frigate in a low pass across the back of the house. The red and gold phoenix painted on her body appearing the shimmer and float just above the metal of the hull.

"She is very beautiful and I pray she is strong as she always carries such a precious cargo," Liara turned and seeing the question on her lovers' face she kissed Shepard lightly on the lips then moved past her towards the door to the bedroom. Over her shoulder she said quietly, "You my love, she carries you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Normandy landed in open fields two clicks from the house. The area was designated as space or air vehicle parking for the bonding ceremony.

The shuttle sent to ferry passengers was settling on the lawns at the front of the house as Shepard and Liara walked towards it.

Stepping from its interior first was a broad shouldered and very muscular young man, and resting in the crook of one of his enormous muscled arms was a baby. Jamie Skorgaard beamed and walked briskly towards the two waiting figures.

"Hi Jamie, good trip?" Shepard asked as he drew up in front of them.

"Yeah the little man really loves flying he gurgled a lot," Jamie laughed and continued as Shepard raised her eyebrows, "Oh yeah he's making all kinds of burbling noises now." Jamie was talking to Shepard but they both turned their gaze towards Liara.

She had reached across to take the baby from Jamie and once safely resting in the curve of her arm baby John began burbling and appeared to be reaching out, with waving arms, to the new face looking down on him. Baby blue eyes looked up into soulful indigo blue ones as she stroked his cheek.

"Welcome John Oleg Asoka Shepard T'Soni… I am your…" Liara looked at Shepard who smiled and nodded encouragement, she continued, "I am your mother and although you are already blessed with so much love I will also add mine to your heart."

As she finished speaking Liara made a Siari blessing of welcome, albeit one handed, and Shepard saw tears running down her cheeks.

"Babe?" Shepard asked a note of concern in her voice but as Liara looked into her eyes all concern vanished.

"These are tears of joy my love. I have you home and we have been blessed with two new lives to love, nurture and care for." She reached across and lifted Shepard's hand to her lips.

Liara then turned to Jamie with a brilliant smile.

"Forgive me Jamie I am being rude, you are most welcome to your new home. And as Shepard has no doubt told you we want and need you to carry on looking after our son. And you will have another to add to your care when our daughter is born."

Jamie was struck dumb for a moment both mesmerised by Liara's beauty and presence and also the news that her cousin was to become a parent again.

"Liara's the pregnant one just in case you're wondering Jamie," Shepard slapped him on the back with a laugh and it snapped him back to himself.

"Oh… of course… I didn't… congratulations… and thank you," he returned Liara's smile, "and thank you for your welcome um… Doctor… Liara?" Jamie flushed deep red he had never met anyone so captivating before.

"Yes Jamie please call me Liara. Despite the nonsense that we may have to ensure over the next week I am still only Doctor T'Soni and your cousins' bondmate. Now you must have some time off as selfishly I would like to get to know my son a little better."

"I'm sure you were never 'only' Doctor T'Soni… thank you I'll get the baby's room sorted out and then stand down until you need me… anything… I mean if you need anything."

Smiling again he turned back to the shuttle to make sure all the items brought from Illium would find their way to the right place in the house.

"Seems you have captured another of the Shepard Skorgaard clan with you beauty and charm," Shepard said as they walked side by side to the house.

Liara blushed slightly but smiled as she bumped shoulders gently with her love, "I am sure you are wrong but even so I am already taken."

"Hey little man," Shepard said leaning into the baby's eye line and was rewarded with a smile and lots of 'burbling' noises.

"Wow I think he recognises me," Shepard said in a pleased and surprised tone as Liara passed the baby to her.

This time Liara gave a full deep throaty laugh, "of course he does Shepard and it is an expected milestone at three months."

"Fu… um… damn um I mean flip… Lee you sound like Jamie I might have known you'd do your research," Shepard chuckled moving the baby to her right arm, his legs kicking happily in the air, as they walked hand in hand heading for the patio at the rear of the house.

"Yes perhaps swearing in front of our child is best avoided," Liara said a smile in her voice.

As they passed the corner of the house a figure stood back from one of the windows eyes flashing with anger. She lifted her omni tool and sent an encrypted message to someone waiting expectantly in the capital.

"_Child has arrived. I have the security plans. Will meet as arranged."_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Omega – six hours previously

Aria sat on her balcony waiting for the arrival of Tela Vasir. She knew Vasir was the Shadow Brokers lackey. And even though she was also a Council Spectre the Queen of Omega could still 'dispose' her if she was going to be a problem.

While she was waiting her mind drifted back the meeting with her daughter the previous day. Liselle had come to tell her of Liara's bonding ceremony and that she had been invited.

Aria already knew and also about the pregnancy but she didn't share that with Liselle.

"So you already knew, Goddess your good mother," Liselle smiled at her and continued, "so you have no objection to me going?"

"Why should I, like it or not you seem to be in some kind of relationship with Mik… Shepard's cousin," Aria could still not quite bring herself to use the humans' first name. "Just be careful and don't have any heart to hearts with Liara."

"You mean my sister," Liselle said a little more confrontationally than she intended.

Aria took a deep breath and tried to restrain her natural instinct to slap down any and all challenges to her authority, "Liselle you are not a fool. The danger is not in revealing that you are her sister it is that I am parent to you both.

You knew the conditions when you joined me; you know how my enemies would use that knowledge."

"Seems to me we are both in enough danger anyway. I'm a commando mother, your commando captain. I have a constant stream of people trying to kill me… and Liara has made an enemy of the Shadow Broker himself it doesn't get much worse."

"That is enough Liselle I have made my position clear. You will honour my choice and obey my instructions to you." Aria's tone was as icy as her eyes and Liselle flinched inwardly at the power of the woman in front of her.

"Yes, well, I'm sorry… of course. Do you wish you could attend," Liselle asked trying to change the subject.

For Aria the subject of her inability to attend any form of official function on Thessia, let along her daughters bonding ceremony, was one she would not discuss with Liselle.

Aria stood up and turned her back on her daughter making a pretence at studying the vid screens behind her desk.

"Enjoy your trip Liselle," but added just as Liselle reached the door, "pick up a squad of commando's from our family estate and take them with you. I'll be in touch."

Aria was angry that she couldn't attend the ceremony but her anger was old and deep. It was wrapped up in her banishment for polite Asari society. In the choices she had made to keep those she cared about safe.

And it all began with the vows she had taken as a young maiden, not really understanding the consequences. But Benezia had known what it would cost her; knew what it would cost them both.

Aria once again pushed down the memories the '_what if she had listened to Benezia'_ questions, pushed them back down deep. She had to lock them back away.

'_Goddess damn you Benezia for dying… leaving Liara ill prepared and vulnerable… damn you to hell'_ she thought as a trace of sadness rather than anger lit her eyes.

She brought herself back into the moment, the beat of the music throbbing through her body, the beautiful maidens she amused herself with, her absolute authority and command over Omega and her undeniable authority across the Terminus system.

She had kept her side of the bargain pity she was so young and naïve that she hadn't made sure there was something on her side of the scales.

Movement drew her eyes to the arrival of Vasir. She waited at the bottom of the steps that led to Aria's private balcony and flanked by two of her most trusted bodyguards.

She waved a hand to indicate Vasir could join her and waved a lazy hand at a side sofa for her to sit.

"You may want this meeting to be private," Vasir said in a quiet tone. Aria sensed a confidence about her that had not be present in their previous meetings, and it spelled danger.

"Wait outside," Aria said to her guards and she dropped the privacy barrier around the space. The music became only a distant murmur.

Aria sat arms stretched across the back of her sofa and looking down her nose at Vasir every inch the Queen of Omega. She closed off her mind to all her previous thoughts and focussed on the danger in front of her. Vast experience and her ability as an empath told her this would be no ordinary conversation.

"The Shadow Broker wants you to stop interfering in his business… stop protecting Liara T'Soni," Vasir delivered her message in a cold tone.

Aria tilted her head slightly to one side and lifted an eyebrow, "Since when did I start taking orders from the Shadow Broker Vasir. Surely that's what he has you for, his tame Spectre bitch."

Aria noticed Vasir bristle at the insult and sensed she had hit the truth. _'You really are in so deep you have no choice but to do what he tells you now,_' Aria thought as she waited for Vasir to respond.

"It also suits my purposes for T'Soni to have her activities curtailed," Vasir had regained her confidence and relaxed back into her seat, "never forget I am a Council Spectre T'Loak and have no need to explain myself to someone like you."

"The difference between you and someone like me Vasir is that I order an execution and you have someone… 'curtailed'," Aria spoke is a dismissive tone.

"I haven't got all day Spectre get to the point," Aria said curtly starting up her omni tool making pretence of looking through messages.

"Stop protecting T'Soni or deal with the consequences T'Loak you really don't want to go head to head with the Shadow Broker and… I'm sure you don't want anything to happen to your pet commando captain." Vasir crossed her arms and watched Aria intensely for a reaction.

In the space of time it took to take a breath Aria tried to sense whether Vasir knew anything or had just taken a lucky guess, in that same moment Aria tried to put out of her mind any thoughts of Liselle and certainly any feelings she had about her daughter.

They would weaken her, make her react differently which would give Vasir all the proof she needed that there was something to find out.

Aria looked up lazily and gave Vasir a smile that would have frozen even a hardened Krogan battlemaster.

"Tell me Vasir how many people do you think have lived after threatening me or one of my assets?" Aria could sense Vasir's confidence fall a little and fear edging in to take its place.

"I have information that you would not want to get onto the extra net T'Loak about your…" before Vasir could finish her sentence Aria had her pinned up against the side wall of the booth, a biotic grip around her throat.

Aria stood up slowly and walked over until they were face to face; she had to cut her off before completing the sentence. Aria had no idea if a direct threat to her daughter would have been enough to stop her from punishing the threat to her authority.

"Whatever your little threat was it's just backfired Vasir I don't give a fuck what you think you know or what some fuck wit has told you to get on your good side," Aria stepped even closer and she replaced her biotic grip with her own hand still holding Vasir in a biotic field.

"I don't have anything or anyone I care more about than me and if you doubt that take a good look at my past… oh that's right you're not going to be able to because I'm going to have one of the boys flush you out of an airlock and then I'm going to war with the Shadow Broker," Aria tilted her head slightly to the side again and narrowed her eyes as Vasir tried to speak.

Releasing her grip slightly she said, "any last miserable words you root sucking jag ass'd pile of crap," she shook the now limp figure in her hand but also released her grip enough to let Vasir draw breath.

"make… deal… in..mation… released… I die," Vasir was struggling to get the words out but Aria got the gist of it.

She let Vasir drop to the floor and kicked her hard in the ribs, crouching down she continued to look Vasir in the eyes, "you will tell me everything I want to know including all about any little fail safe you may have and you can do it without pain before I kill you or with a lot of pain and then… I kill you as painfully as I can," ice cold in tone and demeanour and if Vasir was in any doubt about the fate that Aria had planned for her she only needed to look into the ice cold blue eyes that bored into her.

"I haven't shared my information with anyone Aria this could stay just between us and I won't give up my fail safe so if you do kill me I'll die happily knowing the sky will fall in on your biggest secret of all…" Vasir was still in pain but was breathing more easily. But Aria's biotic field was still holding her in its grip.

Aria stood up and walked back towards her sofa and sat down before speaking again.

"Just what the fuck do you think you have on me that I would care so much about?" Aria needed to know, but if Vasir didn't tell her straight out what information she had, Aria doubted she could maintain her self control much longer and would rip the woman apart with her bare hands.

"That you gave birth to a daughter in 2077 and she was raised by a well-connected Matriarch as her own," Aria was impassive and from centuries of practice gave away nothing of what she was thinking or feeling she waited for the final blow from Vasir who continued, "I haven't tracked her down yet but it's only a matter of time and the evidence that I already have is convincing enough for others to pick up the trail if you kill me. Do you really want your unsuspecting daughter hunted down by your enemies, by the Shadow Broker; on the chance you will be able to torture my failsafe out of me?"

Vasir's confidence had returned Aria could sense it, she could also sense the bloody minded determination to withstand whatever torture that Aria could use on her.

Aria released the biotic field holding the Spectre who stood up slowly still feeling the effects of Aria's grip and her field still causing pain throughout her body.

"I even thought it might have been T'Soni, the dates matched but there was too much evidence that Benezia T'Soni actually gave birth to her… and my informant is clear that you gave birth," Vasir was now irritatingly pleased with herself.

It was obvious to Aria that Vasir wanted confirmation and Omega's Queen had just given it to her.

Aria was clever enough to know that the women had her at a disadvantage. Sometimes the direct approach had to wait, she would have to be smarter about ending the piece of varren shit in front of her and the threat she posed.

"I'm glad you've seen reason Aria. Now to business, the Shadow Broker wants you to remove all the protection you have been providing for T'Soni and to be clear that includes any you've given to Shepard. As for our arrangement I'll be in touch when I need something," Vasir turned to leave and waited for Aria to drop the privacy barrier which also functioned as a security barrier.

Aria could sense the complete triumph and confidence of the women and as she stared at her back began to think of the many ways she would cause her pain before she killed her… but not yet… not now.

"I'm down a contract and that means credits Vasir… or did you think I was protecting T'Soni out of the goodness of my heart?" Aria's voice was cold and clipped her eyes steely as Vasir turned and met them.

"I have all my assets in position it would be just as easy for me to reverse my orders… your own attempts have all ended in abject failure, but perhaps the Shadow Broker doesn't care about the failure of his operatives the way I do." It was a gamble but Aria had won big with weaker hands.

Vasir studied the Queen of Omega, a trick, no what was in it for her. And after all Vasir had a hold on Aria that others could only dream about.

"I'm still working on the details but it's planned for the ceremony. I'll let you provide security for my asset and our noisy surprise and you can finish off anyone who escapes the bomb." Vasir turned again to go and congratulated herself. Aria never failed to deliver on a contract and Vasir would take all the credit for completing the mission, perhaps that would put her back on the Shadow Brokers good side.

"Payment," Aria said still not dropping the security barrier.

"You know the Shadow Broker pays well Aria… I'll be in touch."

Aria bristled at the use of her first name and the dismissive way she was being treated but a plan was already forming in her mind and as she dropped the security barrier and watched Vasir's retreating back she said quietly under her breath.

"_You will regret the day you were born by the time I've finished with you Vasir_," and loud enough for her guards to hear she said, "get Sanak and Grizz here now."


	44. Chapter 44

A/N This chapter took a little longer to write than I planned. I started it three times; there was a lot to move forward in a short space of time… I would appreciate feedback on whether the format works…

And of course any feedback or reviews you want to send me on the story itself will always be most appreciated…

Chapter 44

T'Soni Estate, Thessia

"Thanks for changing your plans both of you. I know you were looking forward to spending some time on Omega Tash," Shepard smiled as their two guests drew to a halt in from of her and Liara.

"Oh I wouldn't miss the wedding of the year cuz and besides who else is going to throw you both a decent party," Tash smiled and as she put her arm around Liselle's waist and giving her a small hug continued "besides I've brought the best Omega has to offer with me."

This drew a smile from Liselle as she said, "Thanks for the invite. I don't think we've been properly introduced Liara," and she turned to the slightly shorter asari and gave her an Asari greeting which Liara returned.

"I am Captain Liselle Lidanya of the Armali Commando's but I work for Aria T'Loak of Omega," Liselle spoke with obvious pride and before Liara could respond turning slightly towards Shepard said, "good to see you again Commander."

"Captain," Shepard said with a slight nod as she took Liselle's offered hand in a handshake.

"And in case you were wondering Liara," Tash gave Liara one of her huge cheeky grins, "I'm the black sheep of the family, Natasha Mikhailovich at your service."

"Welcome to you both and I hope to get to know you… Tash," Liara said with a little hesitation but as Tash gave her a slight nod and carried on smiling at her so she continued, "And you Liselle, I feel we may have a lot to talk about."

Liara's last remark was clearly aimed at Liselle who's only reaction was a slight and short shrug of her shoulders and eyebrows.

Liara was experiencing a powerful yet confused connection towards Liselle and was struggling to identify her feelings towards this singularly compelling maiden.

She was brought back to the present moment by Tash reaching across for her hand. But instead of a handshake Tash bowed her head and kissed it, "the vid images do you no justice whatsoever, you are all together the second most beautiful and captivating asari I have ever met… and I've had the pleasure of meeting quite a few," her last remark brought a rolling of the eyes from both Shepard and Liselle

Liara had no idea how to respond and knew she looked as flustered as she felt which annoyed her as she wanted make a good impression on both visitors but for different reasons.

"Hands of Tash she's taken," Shepard laughed with a small shaking of her head, "honestly how do you put up with her," her last remark was aimed at the commando captain who had merely leaned into Tash's side and the arm still wrapped around her waist.

"Oh we're probably as bad as each other. She knows where the boundaries are and if she forgets," Liselle looked across at Tash who was looking at her and said with a smile, "I know how to hurt her, really badly, without even leaving a mark…" she turned back to Shepard and Liara and said, "I've studied under Aria T'Loak for ten years and I'm a good study."

Tash was laughing and Liselle was smiling broadly, but beyond the playful comment Liara thought she saw a fierce pride when Liselle spoke about Aria.

Shepard chipped in, "good it's about time someone got the measure of her. Now let's go in and get some drinks. Say hello to your auntie Tash and Shepard waved one of the baby's hands at Tash.

"But I thought…" Liara started to say as they walked into the cool hall.

"It's an honorary title babe," Shepard kissed Liara gently on the cheek as they entered the smaller of the two reception rooms.

Its three large sofas, more than enough to accommodate all the friends Shepard and Liara would eventually have staying in the house, were arranged around the left hand wall which boasted a huge vid screen and a fire slot.

Although the space was large it still felt intimate with thick pile rugs on the floor, art and sculpture from Asari and other cultures displayed almost casually around the room. And the wall to the right was lined with leather bound books adding to its lived in feel.

And the most stunning aspect of this room was the use of a glass wall with views of the gardens to the rear of the house giving the immediate impression that the garden edged into the room.

Around half the wall was comprised of doors so they could be opened as was the case today and so the room was filled with drifting scents and birdsong.

As the group moved into the room and Shepard laid the baby down on one of the sofas she asked, "Right who wants what to drink, I've got some station bier Tash if you fancy it?"

Shepard moved to a low stylish piece of furniture that looked as if it was made from the same cream stone that the house was built of.

"Hell I haven't had any bier since… well a long time, yeah I'd love one," Tash replied and she moved to kneel in front of the baby who was still happily reaching for Liara's fingers.

"Liselle?"

"I'll take some wine if you've got it, Asari," Liselle's last word was half questioning and Shepard smiled over her shoulder.

"We keep nothing else in the house," Shepard gathered the drinks including bier for her and wine for Liara. Placing them on the low table that sat between the sofas she remained standing her bottle of bier in hand.

"So this is the sprog Miranda made for you," Tash said her face unreadable as she kneeled down in front of the sofa and played with the baby's restless arms.

Liara's face froze and Shepard heard a quiet moan from Liselle sitting on the opposite sofa.

"You had to go there didn't you," Shepard said exasperation evident in her voice.

"Doctor Lawson will have to answer to me when we meet, but have no doubt Natasha she will have no further contact with my son." All traces of Liara's edge of nervousness at meeting Shepard's cousin and the commando captain, was gone.

Her voice was powerful and cold, her demeanour almost regal. Shepard sensed a powerful flash of an emotion from Liselle but again she couldn't untangle it or work out exactly how she was 'sensing' anything.

"Oh don't get me wrong Liara," Tash said still kneeling and looking up into Liara's face their eyes meeting, "I think what Lawson did was unforgivable, my opinion she should be thrown off the crew. But the little guys here and it's good to know none of the... controversy attached to his conception will affect him. You're a good woman Liara," Tash stood up and made to sit down next to Liselle.

Liara's demeanour had changed, she relaxed and with a genuine smile she beamed at Tash, "I think that we will get on very well Tash, I am pleased to know I am not the only one who feels Lawson owes more than an explanation."

Shepard was still trying to process Tash's reaction to the situation. She had expected teasing, innuendo, but not a serious response. It was also an opinion that would only add fuel to the flames of Liara's position and attitude towards Miranda.

Snapping out of her thoughts Shepard said, "You're coming with me Tash. I'm cooking dinner tonight and you're going to help," Shepard smiled, This had been pre-arranged between her and Liara who wanted some time on her own with Liselle.

"Just like old times hey," Tash looked down at Liselle who had a quizzical look on her face, "yeah we'd invite girls over and cook for them... we didn't always finish the cooking part but it was fun." She leaned in and gave Liselle a kiss and made to follow Shepard out onto the stone patio that ran across the back of the house.

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Shepard had already done some preparation in the kitchen and discussed with the head chef what she needed. The dessert had already been prepared and fresh baked bread, as always, was available.

She had workstations set up with the necessary equipment and ingredients; she knew who she would allocate to which task to play to their strengths. There was no point putting Grunt in charge of peeling the result would be disastrous. Preparation, as with any mission, was everything.

Tash burst into uncontrollable laughter when she walked into the large cool kitchen from the garden entrance.

Shepard stood staring at her cousin hands on her hips a bemused look on her face and only after Tash had managed to get control over he laughter did she say, "what... what's so funny?"

"Aw LV your priceless... bet you've got a workflow and a process and everything planned down to the last detail... I've missed you," and with that Tash threw her arms around the still confused woman and gave her a hearty hug.

Shepard returned it and felt something return to her spirit, something young, carefree and even little blithe.

Stepping back bier still in hand Tash said, "now this is how its going to go... we're going to put on some very loud music and drink a lot of bier," who else is in your kitchen work team?" Tash said a smile still playing on her lips.

"Grunt, Garrus and Veetor," Shepard answered a little apprehensive about the drinking lots of bier part of Tash's plan.

Tash was working her OT as Garrus and Grunt walked into the kitchen and she spoke without looking up, "right you two what's your poison we're going to have fun while we cook?"

"Ryncol" Grunt barked with laugh.

"Hum something smooth and classy just the drinker," Garrus answered his mandibles twitching in amusement.

"No... Absolutely no hard liquor for you Grunt your too young... bier… you can have bier," Shepard said quickly staring down the challenge from Grunt who answered in a more subdued tone.

"I have two livers for a reason Shepard... females," he said the last word quietly but with the hint of a smile.

"Found it," Tash said and she programmed kitchen's sound system from her OT, "really old stuff, from when we were kids LV... we can have a sing along," Tash laughed as the music started up.

"Oh for the love of the Goddess," Shepard said quietly under her breath as she watched Tash, Grunt and Garrus tap bottles together each of them shouting their own particular version of cheers with Tash shouting a loud za zdarOvye.

Veetor arrived at that moment and Tash sweep him up and found out what he could drink and before long everyone in the kitchen was talking and laughing, drinks in hand.

Shepard felt herself relax they'd get dinner cooked and have fun doing it. She was glad that Tash seemed to be much more her old self, the Tash Shepard knew. Shepard felt just a little young again for the first time in what seemed like a very, very long time.

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After Shepard and Tash left the room Liselle and Liara sat in a heavy silence for a few minutes the only sound in the room coming from the birds in the garden and the baby next to Liara.

"So who's coming to dinner?" Liselle said strangely at loss as to what to say.

"We will be having dinner tonight with all our closest friends and Shepard's mother is due to arrive at some point this evening or overnight," Liara said almost absentmindedly.

"Why do I have the feeling we have met before," Liara said. Although it wasn't the burning question she wanted to ask it was something that was troubling her.

"Well I've been, was, your shadow for quite some time..."

"No it is not that. Then perhaps you will tell me why Aria would take it upon herself to protect me?" That wasn't the question either but she was moving closer to what she really wanted to know.

Liselle smiled and gave a well-practised answer, "you would have to ask Aria that, I only do what I'm told."

"I will do that... but... Your Mother is Admiral Lidanya of the Citadel Fleet is she not?"

"Yes," Liselle became cautious and didn't know where Liara was going with her question.

"Who is your father?" Liara said it bluntly and watched the other Asari for any reaction.

"My Mother has a bondmate..."

But Liara cut her off and said, "your Mother took her bondmate after you were born... do we share a father Liselle?" Liara was beginning to become exasperated, "you must have felt an echo of connection Liselle that is often evident when two closely related sisters meet... please do not lie to me... tell me you will not answer but do not insult me with untruths."

Liselle felt a storm rise inside her. She very clearly felt the connection and she could see that Liara would not be satisfied with any other explanation except the truth. And it may prove dangerous for Liara to start digging around Liselle's parentage for it.

Liselle's mind raced. Why the hell hadn't Aria prepared her for this… did she know this would happen... she should have... her Mother was no fool, she knew as much if not more about Asari connections than Sha'ira did... she must have known this was a possibility.

_'Is this what she wants... for us to find each other... no need to break her word...' _Liselle thought hard, desperate to try to work out what her mother would expect of her.

"You have to think for so long just to answer a simple question Liselle?" Liara asked not unkindly her head tilted slightly to the side.

"No... We do not share a father," Liselle saw the look of disappointment and disbelief cross Liara's face closely followed by pain, but the disbelief remained. Liselle knew only too well how much Liara wanted to know who her father was.

Liselle took a deep breath, looked at her hands for a moment then raised her head and looked Liara in the eyes and said, "My mother is your father and I have a suspicion that your mother was my father." Liselle let out her breath slowly waiting for the sky to fall on her head.

Liara looked completely confused, "Matriarch Dreliss Lidanya is my father... they... my mother and..."

"No," Liselle interrupted more loudly that she had intended. The baby stirred and made noises that indicated the need for contact.

Liara picked him up and settled him in her arms her eyes returning to Liselle as she continued to speak.

"Not my... Aria... Aria is my mother... it's complicated but Dreliss raised me to keep my identity secret... No, Aria and Benezia are your parents and although I have no proof I'm sure Benezia was my father."

A look of absolute shock settled on Liara's face. She didn't really know what she had expected, who she had expected to be her father. She knew it was another Asari Matriarch... but Aria T'Loak... Aria... and her mother... how... why.

"But how... they are so different... why would Benezia..."

Before Liara could finish the sentence Liselle cut across her, anger now rising at the sense of disappointment from her sister.

"Don't you dare think for one moment that Aria isn't good enough to be your father or to be with Benezia... she is member of one of the one thousand families and the T'Loak name has a proud heritage…every bit as honourable as T'Soni..."

It was Liara's turn to cut across Liselle, a look of concern on her features and evident in her voice, "please Liselle I do not mean to insult you or... or our... father... you have to give me a little time to... this is quite a shock... Aria is... well she is someone... I never expected my father to be quite so..."

"Out there," Liselle said with a huge smile, "sorry Liara I'm just a bit sensitive, she is more than just the Pirate Queen of the Terminus system... it was a shock to me, but I was already looking for excitement and I knew Dreliss wasn't my biological mother in my early twenties."

There was silence again between the two young Asari's that lasted for minutes, both deep in their own thoughts, until Liara broke the silence.

"I have a sister," Liara said softly tears welling in her eyes and a strange sense of joy seeping into her soul.

Liselle got up and sat next to Liara encircling both her sister and the sleeping baby in her arms. Liara leaned into the embrace feeling not a little stunned at the revelation but also a strange sense of completeness.

"Yes you do," Liselle kissed Liara's forehead and they sat for a long time in a comfortable silence both processing their new situation, the new connections, and feeling the love for each other that was flooding through them.

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Shadow Broker base, in orbit around Hagalaz

Tela Vasir was shown into the Brokers huge office. The room was more like a small warehouse in style. Banks of screens covering the rear wall and along the two side walls were rows of terminals currently not occupied but usually being worked by specially programmed mechs.

The Broker himself sat behind an enormous desk, he was huge, at around twice the size of even the largest Krogan. His triangular mouth was edged with a row of spiny, sharp looking teeth. Although his body comprised a scaly armoured skin he still wore armour covering most of his body. He was a Yahg, physically dangerous, highly intelligent and temperamentally unpredictable.

The shutters on the windows that ran down the right hand wall were open showing the turbulent, angry and permanent storm that played around the ship's position. Vasir looked through the window as she walked towards the desk and was struck, once again, by its terrible beauty.

"How did you get T'Loak to back down, she is not one who responds to threats?" His voice was deep, sonorous and seemed to rumble through her physically.

The Spectre found it difficult to know where to look as the Broker had eight penetrating eyes, she usually settled for somewhere in the middle of his forehead.

"I made a business deal with her," Vasir was not going to give up her hold on T'Loak to the Shadow Broker it was far too valuable to her.

"And you are sure she will not interfere with your plans to dispose of T'Soni and Shepard?" He put his hands together in front of him, elbows resting on the desk and laced his fingers together.

Vasir nodded and he continued, "If you fail me again Spectre you will be of no further use to me and you know too much for me to just... let you walk away," he laughed and the sound rumbled around the space his small beady eyes never leaving Vasir's face.

"The plans are in place I only need to know if you have any preference about timing. During the bonding ceremony or T'Soni's appointment as leader of the family?"

"I am not cruel," he said the pink inside his mouth showing as he spoke, "let them have their bonding ceremony."

"Why did you insist my coming here I have a lot to prepare and we still don't have a confirmed date," she had been curious on the trip to Hagalaz and tried to work out why he wanted a face to face meeting this time.

"The device you will use is being loaded onto your ship, it has, special properties and will not only kill most of the people present it will… leave a lasting reminder of what happens when someone tries to cross the Shadow Broker." He stared at her his eyes blinking independently of each other.

"It's dirty?" she said her voice cold and angry, "I didn't agree to anything like this, my agent in the T'Soni household won't agree to this and without her it's a completely different mission." Vasir was exasperated, why couldn't he just let her do her job, she knew how to assassinate, this was overkill.

"It sends a lasting message; the area will be a radiation hot spot for centuries if not longer," he gave what passed for a laugh, "depending on how good the clean-up is."

"My agent in the household is doing this because she despises Liara's liaison with Shepard. She is a member of Sanguine Insidiantur Corruet. She believes in the purity of Asari bloodlines.

I've manipulated her to believe that removing Liara T'Soni will make way for more suitable head of the family… she won't agree to do huge amounts of collateral damage and certainly no lasting damage." Vasir was becoming desperate. There would be a lot of dignitaries at the appointment ceremony, at least one member of the Council, and a huge number of the Republics leaders.

Killing all those people would not only devastate the Thrassican Republic but also create instability across Thessia itself.

"I am a sworn Council Spectre I won't be part of the assassination of all those people, some collateral damage I can live with. My way we kill maybe ten or twenty people… but this… no, I won't do it… I won't let you do it." She had gone into her relationship with the Broker because it was mutually beneficial, but the balance had been shifting for some time, this was a line she would refuse to cross.

"Interesting you still have some sense of duty, how noble," he shook his head slowly from side to side and stood up moving swiftly, despite his large size, to tower over her.

"You will do whatever I tell you to do or your life as a Spectre will be over. I will not kill you, oh no, what you fear more than death is disgrace to your family. The information about your… actions… that I can deliver to every news outlet in Council space would make for very interesting reading. I wonder how long you would hav to spend in a Council prison. Your family shunned."

He watched as all the fight went out of the Asari who was withering under his gaze. "Good, we understand each other."

He knew her weakness, the one thing she would do anything to protect, her family's good name and standing within Asari society. He was a very good information broker, the best. Moving back to sit behind his desk he allowed himself a brief moment of triumph.

Even taking his own revenge he had seen a way to satisfy the demands of one of his most difficult clients and make himself credits in the process. They wanted to destabilise the Asari Republics and this would be a good start.

"And don't get any ideas about being noble and killing yourself I will release the information on your death so that your family can still be ruined. "Now sit," he indicated a chair to the side of his desk, "you will see what happens to those I choose to keep as a pet." He flicked a control on his desk and the doors to the room opened.

Walking in, flanked by two mechs, was the shadow of the Asari who had once been Shiala Galine. She looked haunted, drawn and frightened. The tell-tale biotic dampener was tight around her neck.

"Come here Asari and kneel," as Shiala made to move to the side of the desk to kneel in front of him he said, "in front of the desk."

She obeyed not looking at the Broker or the other Asari in the room.

"I have news for you. Of Liara T'Soni, she is to be bond mate to Shepard and they already have a child," on hearing the name the Asari's face contorted into a mask of rage and pain.

He continued, "tell the Spectre how you feel about your Liara and Shepard." He sat back in his chair pleased with the display he was putting on for Vasir.

"She… Shepard… is controlling, manipulating my bondmate… Liara wouldn't forget me… this is all Shepard's doing… I will destroy her… I will destroy them both for what they've done… she left me here to rot… forgot all I'd done for her… all we had… for Shepard," Shiala's voice was cracked and horse, stumbling over the words and rambling, her eyes wild.

Vasir had no doubt the Broker had broken not only her spirit but her mind.

"If you plan fails Spectre I will just release my prisoner. I did not create this… hatred or anger… I merely allowed it to become all that she is." He rumbled a deep laugh once again and for the first time Vasir felt gut wrenching fear of the Broker.

He had broken her as well, she could see no way out… not even death.

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Aria's office, Afterlife Club, Omega

Aria sat in one of the arm chairs a glass of Turian whiskey in her hand deep in thought when the door to her office buzzed.

She let Sanak, Bray and Grizz enter and indicated with a nod of the head that they should sit down.

"Well?" She had given them plenty to accomplish in the hours that had passed since her confrontation with Vasir.

"I've got all the information on her family, friends anyone she's connected to and its already with our vid tech expert," the deep and flanged tones of Grizz seemed to echo in the room, "and we've pulled together all her movements over the past cycle. The analysis of all her contacts should be done in less than a few hours."

Aria nodded and turned to Bray.

"We lost her…" before he could finish his sentence Aria exploded in rage and threw the glass still full of alcohol at his head. Grizz and Sanak both looked down not wanting to catch their boss's eye.

She stood up and started pacing yelling as she did.

"One thing you had to do… one fucking thing… how hard was it to follow one stupid Council Spectre…," she turned and looked directly at Bray and to his credit he only flinched slightly under the power of her glare.

"Tell me you got a tracking device on her before… you lost her," this time Aria's voice was low, calm but loaded with menace and her last three words were delivered with and extra cold edge.

"She found the one we planted on her and she found the hack we did on her OT," Bray hurried on as he saw his boss becoming more and more furious, "but we used a new tracker the Salarian STG have been trying out… its internal... we slipped it in her drink… we lost the signal on the third relay jump she did… but if… when we get the tracker back we can lift the information about where she went… and we can pick her up as soon as she surfaces… must be somewhere with a lot of interference stopping the signal." Bray relaxed as he saw Aria's face lighten and she sat back down.

"Next time start with the good news Bray," she reached out to take a new drink that Grizz had poured for her, her eyes now falling on Sanak.

"I've got the team in place and with a bit of modification one of the team is now a decent look alike for Vasir… won't fool anyone who really knows her close up but it will be good enough for what we need."

"Good, this is all going to depend on timing. We can't pick her up too early, I have to wait until she's told us what the plan is and what she wants us to do.

But I need enough time with her to make sure we have the whole plan… I'm pretty sure she won't be letting me in on all her secrets," Aria spoke quietly, almost to herself, looking into the middle distance and swirling the whiskey slowly around the glass.

She snapped back into the present, "Well," she said imperiously, "you're not going to get the job done sitting there, get on with it."

Before she had even finished her sentence her three most trusted lieutenants stood and made for the door, they did indeed have plenty still to do if Aria's plan was to come to fruition.

The stakes were high, not only the release of information that would put all her daughters in danger, but the threat of death to at least one if not both who were currently on Thessia.

She checked the chrono on her omni-tool.

'_Liselle's been there for a couple of hours, plenty of time for them to have had a heart to heart,'_ Aria moved to her desk and keyed in a call to Liara on their private secure channel.

Liara was not going to like what Aria was going to tell her and certainly try to refuse to do what Aria needed her to do. It would take all her not inconsiderable skill to influence Liara's acquiescence.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liara and Liselle were still in the sitting room. They had been talking for over an hour, exchanging stories of growing up, and a little about the parent that each knew best.

Liselle didn't want to say too much about Aria she already felt she had betrayed her mother's trust by being honest with Liara. But she wanted to hear as much about Benezia and Liara did about the side of Aria that Liselle knew and loved.

"We should probably go and see how Shepard and Tash are getting on in the kitchen," it was Liara who spoke and Liselle laughed.

"If Tash has had anything to do with it they'll be drinking and playing around with not much food preparation," she stood up and followed Liara onto the patio.

"Oh dear you may be right I can hear music," Liara smiled at her sister as they walked along the back of the house.

They turned the corner and saw Shepard laughing loudly, leaning on Garrus's shoulder, who also appeared to be laughing heartily.

They were both watching Tash trying to get past Grunt a large loaf of bread in her hands and a make shift hoop attached to the wall of the house behind the bemused looking young Krogan.

"No… your supposed to… well wave your arms around to stop me getting a clean shot at the hoop… not throw me half way across the yard with your biotics," Tash was trying hard to sound stern but was smiling broadly.

"I see you have dinner preparation well in hand Shepard," Liara said in mock serious tones as she stood watching the scene.

'_Goddess she looks so happy and carefree,_' Liara thought and a flood of happiness flowed through her to see her soon to be bondmate relaxing with her friends.

"Look out Shepard incoming," Garrus said his voice full of laughter.

"Ah… um… no… all in hand… just a couple of biers and… Veetor… Veetor's keeping an eye on the dinner," Shepard said as she walked towards Liara struggling to get control of the giggles that still racked her body.

Liara looked across at the kitchen doorway and saw the young Quarian leaning against the doorframe seeming very relaxed.

"Well he is the closest to the kitchen…," the rest of her words were silenced by a kiss from Shepard who also relieved her of the still sleeping baby in her arms.

"Come and have a try… obviously it should be a ball and the hoops the wrong height… and trying to explain the point of it to Grunt is… well… he's hilarious," Shepard said smiling.

Liara laughed but before she could reply her omni-tool sparked into life and when she saw who was calling she turned to Shepard and said quietly.

"I need to take this my love I will explain everything later," she kissed Shepard on the cheek and walked back the way she came.

"I need to speak with you and Liselle, only you and Liselle," Aria's face was unreadable as Liara looked at the holo image that had coalesced into shape above her omni-tool.

"I'm here," Liselle had followed Liara having had a suspicion that the call was from Aria.

"In my… my office," Liara said, Aria nodded and ended the call.

Of course it had been her mother's office and sometimes Liara still felt as if she was trespassing.

A few minutes later Liara and Liselle stood in front of the vid screen and waited for the call to come through.

Aria sat with her back to her desk looking at the screen that displayed the images of two Asari maidens standing side by side.

She studied Liara's face to make sure she had given them enough time and thought, '_Yes… she knows... what would you say if you were here Benezia I wonder_?'

Aria felt a rush of feelings that she had buried so deep inside she thought they had gone for ever.

She shrugged them back somewhere into the recesses of her mind; there would be time for explanation later if it suited her to provide it.

But right now the daughters who stood in front of her were in mortal danger. And Aria T'Loak, the Pirate Queen, needed all her focus, strength and determination to deal with those who would break Omega's one and only rule.


End file.
